All language subtitles for Night Court (1984) - S02E04 - Pick a Number (480p DVD x265 Panda).eng

Somewhere,
a small country is going hungry.

- Bull, you look depressed.
- I am.

My word of the month is so obscure...

...I can't find opportunity
to use it in conversation.

- What word is that?
- "Pentimento."

So how about that,
Jets came last week, huh?

Bull, what exactly
does "pentimento" mean?

It's an artistic term referring
to the reappearance of original elements...

...that had been obliterated
by a new outer appearance.

Like that little brown shadow on your head
you affectionately refer to as hair?

Good example.

Hey, did you see this?

I remember last month, there was a winning
lottery ticket for $3 million.

Whoever has the ticket
hasn't come forward to claim the money.

Three million. I wonder what I'd get
with that much money?

A between-meal snack?

I wonder why the person
hasn't claimed it.

Talking about the unclaimed
lottery ticket?

Yeah, we were wondering
what could keep someone...

...from claiming $3 million
that is sitting there for the taking.

- Murder.
- Huh?

Now, we talking $3 million.

A lot of people will stick a hatpin
in your ear for a whole lot less.

Hi, everybody.

- Hi, Selma.
- Hey, Selma.

I want you to meet Mary Jo Martin.

- Hi.
Hi, Mary Jo.

They're here.

She's from the DA's office, just started,
so they sent her down to observe.

- Who?
- You.

Come on, Mary Jo,
I'll show you where you can freshen up.

- Wait, I know where that is. I'll show her.
- Don't beg.

Sit.

Good boy.

How about you come up to my place...

...and we can browse through
my Ansel Adams prints?

Do you like Ansel Adams?

Second president
of the United States, right?

Yeah. Ha-ha-ha-ha.

You know,
a lot of people get those two mixed up.

Ah.

Next case, Your Honor,
People v. Otis Weaver.

Aggravated assault.

- How does the defense plead?
- Not guilty, Your Honor.

Prosecutor?

Slippery Rock, '70,
but I figured after college...

...what the hey, I'm gonna do
a little traveling before I go into law school.

I was in this little Swiss village,
and it was a farm house, and we had this...

The next case is ready,
the judge is calling.

And everybody
in the courtroom is watching you.

And that's why the Bill of Rights
is sacred to me.

Sorry, I was talking about the Constitution.
I get emotional...

- Can it, Dan.
- Canning it, sir.

All right, the defense
has entered a plea of not guilty.

Hi.

Hello.

You are?

Oh. My name is Leo Baldassare.

Oh, but you can call me Leo.

Yeah, I'd like that, Leo.

But you see, court is in session,
so if you'd excuse us.

Oh, I don't wanna bother anyone.

It's just that I've been here all week...

...watching you.

We're armed, Leo.

- Dan.
- Please, sir.

It's very urgent that I talk to you.

Alone.

Mr. Prosecutor, Miss Young,
if you'd excuse us.

- Perhaps we better stay with you.
- Come here.

Let me explain
the term "line of fire" to you.

What is it, Leo?

Well, you see, I'm the person
with the $3-million lottery ticket.

Of course you are.
This is not really the time...

I have it right here with me,
with the newspaper clipping.

Are you on the level?
Is that the ticket?

In a word, yes.

- In two words, holy...
- Leo.

What's going on?

Well, you see,
I've made a decision concerning the ticket...

...and it includes you.

Please?

We'll take a 10-minute recess.

Mac, for now,
not a word of this to anyone.

- Right.
- This way, Leo.

What was that about?

Well, if you guys are gonna badger me...

Leo, assuming that is real,
why are you coming to me?

I don't want it.

Money makes people unhappy.

I'm happy with what I have.

Am I on TV, Leo?

I'm serious, sir.

Please, I want you to take it.

Well, that's very flattering, Leo.

But, hey, I can't take your money.

Oh, I didn't mean for you to keep it.

- Oh.
- Uh...

I want you to give it away.

- Give it away?
- Yes.

To one of those people
that come up before you.

I've been here all week watching...

...and I've decided that you're just about
the wisest man I've ever seen.

Well, thank you, Leo.

Of course,
I don't get out very much, but...

Okay, Leo, I'll think about it.

But for the time being, don't tell anyone
you've got this much money to give away.

There are some unscrupulous
types out there...

...that might come looking for it.

Okay,
where's the geek with the 3 mil?

Mac, didn't I ask you
not to tell anyone about this?

Yeah.

Just checking.

Do you really have the winning ticket?

Mm-hm. But not for long.

I came down here looking for someone
who still cares about human decency.

He quit.

Actually, Leo asked me
to give this away for him.

Give?

May I?

There have been counterfeit tickets
going around.

Let's check it with these.

Looks real to me.

To the untrained eye. Hmm.

Dan.

Oops. Heh.

Where is my head?

Leo, why are you doing this?

Because I'm already happy.

Don't give us that.

Apparently, it's true.

He just wants to give the money
to someone who needs it more.

What the hell is this world coming to?

We're all set, Your Honor.

Let's get back to work, everybody.

- Hi.
- Hi.

He just gave the judge
$3 million to give away.

What a shame.

With that kind of money,
he could've had himself fixed.

Give it to me, Harry.

Dan, I think Leo is looking for someone
a little more needy than you.

Yeah, yeah,
what are they gonna use it for, food?

Everybody wants it.

- I am honest enough to admit it.
- I don't want it.

- The old reverse psychology ploy, huh, Mac?
- I don't want it.

- You're serious, aren't you?
- Yes, sir.

See, my needs aren't that great,
and the combination of my income here...

...and my Army pension lets me maintain
a comfortable and rewarding lifestyle.

- That's sweet, Mac.
- Uh-huh.

Plus my grandfather owns the largest
import business on the East Coast...

...and I am his sole heir.

Someday, I'm gonna be swimming in it.

Perhaps you can get out of the pool
long enough to do me a favor, Mac.

Call the lottery commission,
have them send somebody down.

Got it.

- Uh, Mac.
- Yeah?

- I've got this extra kidney.
- Oh.

If you should ever need just a little...

What's going on?

Well, Harry is looking for an honest man,
like Diogenes.

Played for the Yankees,
was married to Marilyn Monroe, right?

You know, we almost conversed that time,
didn't we?

Listen, Harry, just a word of advice.

Don't take on the responsibility
of that ticket.

- I didn't say for sure I would.
- I know you.

Some poor schlep asked a favor
and you can't resist.

He did seem bewildered
by the whole thing.

- You're gonna do it.
- I didn't say that.

- Your mind's made up, it's over.
- Billie.

Just remember, Harry,
nice guys finish last.

Knock, knock.

Well, Judge Stone. What a surprise.

You caught me at a bad time, Craven.
I'm here.

That's funny. Very good.

Surprised that scandal sheet you write for
is still in business.

Are you kidding?
Misery is a moneymaker.

Did you read my story last week?

Family in Hackensack
barbecues brother. Ha-ha-ha.

I don't read the food section.

Come on, Your Honor, I need a story.

Little sex, violence,
that's all I'm looking for.

Bad timing, Craven, nothing bloodcurdling
on the docket tonight.

Oh, what a world.

I mean, people have knives,
why don't they use them?

All rise.

Whoops.

I think this is for you.

- That'd be my guess.
- Yeah.

You may be seated.

Are you okay, sir?

I'm nervous about this lottery ticket.
What if this thing is real?

Am I qualified to choose
who should get the money?

And more importantly,
do I have that right to decide?

No.

Take some time, think it over.

Okay, Your Honor, first up,
Runyon v. Miller.

Tragic stuff.

We may have a winner.

What we have is a simple assault.

Mr. Miller was walking down the street,
he saw a $5 bill on the sidewalk.

He bent over to pick it up.

Mr. Runyon ran up
and kicked him in the stomach.

- Mr. Runyon?
- Your Honor...

...I was just fired
from my job of 20 years.

When they repossessed my car, I borrowed
my son's bike to ride to the bank...

...to withdraw my entire lifesavings
which I needed to pay the rent.

But on the way back, a car hit me,
sending my money flying all over the street...

...where passer-by started scooping it up
for themselves.

Quite a story, huh?

I laughed, I cried, it became a part of me.

Your Honor, what we're dealing with
is an assault charge...

...not an alleged hit-and-run.

I have a pin in my hip too.

Oh, stop whining.

Mr. Runyon, you say
you don't have a penny to your name?

Nope.

And I won't till the insurance company
sends me the half million.

The prosecution rests.

Comfortably, Your Honor.

Thank you, Mr. Runyon.
Two days suspended.

Oh, excuse me.
I'm looking for Judge Stone.

I'm from the lottery,
I'm here to verify the ticket.

- The ticket? You mean...
- The lottery ticket.

Lottery ticket. Judge Stone was
talking about that. The one that he...

The one he's supposed to give away.
It's unclaimed, worth $3 million.

Three million dollars?
Yeah, that's the one.

Next case, Your Honor, lvan Brewster.

Now, he's accused of... Now get this.

- Beating up a mime
and stealing his hat full of change.

Why did you do that?

Kicks.

I wish they were all like you.

Excuse me, Your Honor,
I think you might wanna take a recess.

Sit down before I find you in contempt.

This man is here
from the lottery commission.

Wants to verify the $3-million ticket
you were asked to give away.

Recess.

Your Honor, may I see the ticket, please?

Ooh. Come on, Harry.

Dan, be patient.
This could take a long time.

This man has to examine the ticket,
compare to a master, maybe have it tested.

This baby's good.

And I considered hanging out
at the morgue today.

- Craven.
- What?

For once, can't you do the decent thing?

Be a human being?

Keep this under your hat
and stop my court from becoming a circus?

Naaah.

Hi, Dan.

I just wanted to tell you
I had fun last night.

- Great.
- Oh, and you have great taste in music.

I just loved listening
to that Willie Nelson overture.

No, Mary Jo,
that was the "Willie Tell Overture."

I'm sorry.

Anyway, I'm looking forward
to the party tonight...

...and meeting all your friends.

Bye.

She makes Squiggy
look like Buckminster Fuller.

I had a husband that dumb too.

They fool you by walking upright,
don't they?

How many are in there?

Remember Woodstock?

Courtesy of our favorite yellow journalist.

"Man chucks bucks, judge gets stuck."

Kind of catchy.

Whew. Lot of crazies out there.

I better get that docket
before one of them eats it.

Hi, judge.

It's quite a turnout, isn't it?

The power of the press.
Kind of gives me goose bumps.

Bull, explain to this man
the penalty for harassing a judge.

Section 4C of the penal code,
wherein the bailiff is encouraged...

...to pull the assailant's ears
behind his head and tie them in a knot.

That's not really a law, is it?

Gotcha. It's probably a regional thing
that I, you know...

Yeah?

Have you seen that courtroom?
We are talking Bronx Zoo out there.

- Go ahead and say it.
- A fool and his money are soon parted.

- "I told you so" would have sufficed.
- Oh, Harry.

There are over 3000
telegrams downstairs...

...from people asking me for money.
- I told you so.

Judge's chambers.

Oh, yes, sure.
Hold on just a moment.

It's your father.

Hello?

Dad, yeah. How you doing?

Oh, you sound great, yeah.

Twenty-two years of death
hasn't changed your voice a bit.

- Have you seen that courtroom out there?
- Yeah, I've heard, thank you.

Listen, Harry, in spite of what I've said,
if a decision has to be made on this ticket...

...couldn't be in more capable hands.

Thank you, Billie.

First time you suck up
is always the hardest.

All rise.

You may be seated or fall,
whatever's easier.

First case, Your Honor, Gertrude Stuckey.

Attempted burglary.

She took a case of cat food.

- I don't have a cat.
- Oh?

It was for me
and my husband, Dexter, to eat.

We're very poor.

Well, why didn't you
just steal regular food?

Because cat food is more...

- Pathetic?
- Right.

Wrong. Fifty-dollar fine.

Yeah?
See if you clowns can do any better. Ha!

Next case, Your Honor, Jerome Chappel.

Seems he smashed
up a hospital cafeteria last night.

Your Honor,
due to the unusual nature of the case...

...my client pleads guilty,
but requests a suspended sentence.

I see. How are you, Mr. Chappel?

I have six months to live.

How are you?

Can't complain.

Your Honor, the hospital has no record
of this man even being a patient.

That's a big place.
They can't keep track of everything.

Mr. Chappel...

Look, Your Honor, l...

Your honor, I've always had problems.

When I was growing up, I had a mother
who bought me rabid dogs for pets.

At least you had real pets.

My father gave me rocks
and told me to name them.

Yeah? Well, at least you had a father.

My father left me naked on a doorstep.

At least you had a doorstep.

After my house burned down,
there was nobody.

Oh, people.

People!

In my short time as a judge,
I've seen some pretty amazing things.

But this, I think, tops them all.

Last night,
I witnessed the most considerate...

...selfless, kind act
I think that I have ever seen.

Thank you, Your Honor.

And here before me
sits the result of that kindness.

The most selfish, indulgent...

...transparent display
I have ever witnessed.

Leo.

Come take your $3 million back
and spend it with a clear conscience...

...knowing that you
are the most deserving person here.

Your Honor...

...are you sure this is the right thing?

It's the only thing, Leo. Believe me.

A person with your capacity for giving
is very special.

Perhaps it's time
you started giving to yourself.

Besides, you charged me
with the responsibility...

...of finding the most worthy person.

Well, I did.

The money's gone.

Well, I just loved your friend,
Richard, the urologist.

Oh, it must be exciting work.

Going out on those expeditions,
digging around for fossils.

Listen, Mary Jo, you're a very...
Whew.

- Healthy girl and all,
but I'm afraid even I need more than that.

Like what?

Language.

Look, you're here to observe
and that's fine...

...but I'm afraid
I can't see you socially anymore.

Well, if that's the way you feel.

It is.

Well, I've got some work to do.

Bye.

Goodbye.

Well?

Worked like a charm, Selma.

I don't think that slug will be bothering me
again the rest of the time I'm here.

Thanks for tipping me off.

Hey, us foxes have gotta stick together,
don't we?

Pentimento.

I love that word.

You reminded me of it
when your surface rubbed off.

The most numerous
examples of pentimento...

...are found among the Dutch works
of the early 17th century.

I know.

Shall we discuss it over some cognac?

Say, at my place after work?

Good God, yes.

Heh-heh.
Those two lunkheads deserve each other.

Yeah.

You know, I still can't believe that I held
$3 million in my hand.

And gave it away.

Yeah, I'm gonna see a doctor about that.

Come on, we're happy the way we are.

- Aren't we?
- Sure.

I make it big, I spend it big.

I'm in for 2 cents.

And I'll see it.

And raise you $5000.

Grandpa will cover it.

- Yeah?
- Hi, everyone.

- Oh, Leo.
- Leo.

- How you doing?
- I want you to meet Arnie Prince.

He's got a way
to help me spend my money.

- Oh. I don't wanna hear this.
- Sure you do.

It's a can't-miss proposition.
We're talking show business.

Leo's putting all his money
into my Broadway musical.

It's what I've always wanted to do,
bring lots of smiles to lots of people.

- Well, that's terrific, Leo.
- What's the play called?

Mussolini: The Man and His Music.

Well, Leo,
we wish you all the success in the world.

Thanks. It's money in the bank.

The only problem I foresee
is finding the right guy for the lead role.

Hello.

Tell me you can sing.