Original subtitles

- Previously On "Ugly Betty"... - Justin?

You're Supposed To Be Working On Your Algebra, Not Making Out.

Back Off. You're Not My Dad. I Miss Him So Much.

I Know, Mija. But It'll Get Better. I Want To Postpone

Wilhelmina Is Losing Her Grip On Bradford.

The Bradford Meade/ Wilhelmina Slater Wedding

Is Back On. How'd The Meeting With The Advertiser Go?

I Think I Lost The Account.

Guy Had Some Issues With Our Staff. What? With Who?

You. I Think We Should Lose The Account.

What? We Don't Need Atlantic Attire Or Their Money.

So You Want To Destroy "Mode"? Well, There's Only Room

At Meade Publications.

So The Baby's Yours. I'm Soy, Betty.

You Should Go.

Henry, I'm Sorry. I Just Can't See You.

Not With The Way Everything Turned Out.

The Baby's Yours.

You're Going Back To Tucson To Be With Charlie.

I Am Not Going Back To Be With Charlie.

I Am Going Back To Be A Father To My Child.

Maybe We Can Still Do This.

Long Distance? It- That'll Never Work.

I Just Think It's Better If We Just Avoid Each Other

Until You Leave.

So That's It. Just Like That?

Yes, I Think That's What's Best.

Excuse Me, Do You Mind Not Leaning On Me? Who's Leaning On You?

Well, You See, That's None Of Your Concern.

People Can Lean On Me All They Want. Okay.

No, Not You. Okay, So I'm Here For Five More Months.

How Do We Make This Work? When You Need Daniel's Signature, Send Kenny.

Okay. What About Meals?

I Go To The Cafeteria At 1:00. I Guess I Can Do 12:00.

Except For Taco Tuesdays. I'm Always Afraid

They're Gonna Run Out, So I Have To Go Early. Okay, Sure.

Well, Maybe This Whole Avoidance Thing Will Work.

Yeah, We Never Have To See Each Other At All.

Ugh!

Starting Tomorrow, I'll Take The Subway.

Uh-Huh.

Morning.

Hey, Don't Fill Up On Fruit. I'm Making Machaca.

Oh, No, I Can't Stay. It's Thursday.

Santos And I Do Our Lotto Scratchers

At The Cemetery. Oh.

Hey, Kiddo. I'm Making Machaca.

I Know You Say It Gives You Hips But- I'm Meeting My Friends.

Oh, Are You All Trying Out For "The Music Man"?

I Read In The School Paper Auditions Are Today.

Drama Club? That's For Losers.

You're The President. You Even Started The Club.

Whatever. Here.

Oh.

Okay. Bye.

Hey.

Do You Even Know What You Signed? Oh, I Don't Know, Papi.

Maybe It Was For Mail-Order Crack.

Come On, It Was A Permission Slip For Something.

It's Fine. Bye.

Did You Get It?

One Note Excusing Me From The Field Trip Tomorrow.

Yeah, Suck That, Queens County Farm Museum.

So What Are We Gonna Do?

We'll Take My Family's Car Out For A Ride.

My Dad Taught Me How To Drive.

Car Thieves Are Hot.

Marc Jacobs Wants To Send Over Bags. I Said Yes.

Kathy Griffin Is Begging For A Date. I Said No.

And Your Father Wants To Have You And Alexis Over For Dinner

With Him And Wilhelmina. I Didn't Know What To Say.

Great. I Get To Spend Time With My Futurestep-Monster.

One Big Crappy Family. A Grudging "Yes" It Is. Speaking Of Which,

Your Step-Monster Has Called A Meeting In Her Office

In 30 Seconds. Wait, Is That Why We're Headed This Way?

I Was Hoping We Were Going To Get Danish.

Are You Really That Good,

Or Did You Just Happen To Have That On You?

You'll Never Know. Oh.

Are You Okay With This?

You Can Skip The Meeting If You Want.

No, I Won't Let This Get In The Way Of My Job.

I'm A Professional.

Besides, It's Not Like I'm Writing "Betty Loves Henry"

All Over My Notebook.

Um, You- Shut Up.

Thank You For Joining Us, Daniel.

Why Are You In Here? Where Are All The Other Departments?

Oh, I Only Invited Ad Sales And Accounting.

I Figured It'd Be Easier

To Discuss The Advertising Situation

In A Smaller, Le Judgmental Group. Excuse Me,

Over There To That Chair? Well, That's Very Thoughtful Of You, Wilhelmina,

But I Really Don't Have Anything To Hide.

I've Been Very Open About This Whole Thing.

And If You Could Just Move To That Chair. It's Empty.

I Think We All Know Atlantic Attire

Pulled Their Advertising From "Mode. " No, No, No.

I Didn't Mean You. I Meant Him. Betty? Please.

Oh, You-You Didn't Know?

Uh, Once The News Leaked

That Atlantic Attire Was Pulling Out,

Well, Other Companies Followed.

Just How Many Advertisers Are We Talking About?

Well, As Of This Morning,

Um... 52%.

Your Foot Just Touched My Knee.

Your Knee Just Touched My Foot. Well, Here's The Line.

So What's Our Financial Outlook?

Well, Uh, If We Keep Touching-

Spending At The Current Rate,

Then "Mode" Will Be Out Of Business In 90 Days.

Yo, Fish!

You Staying In Here All Day Or We Gon' Play Tennis?

Yoga, I've Been Drinking-

I Mean, Thinking.

Uh, Actually, They're Both Right.

Maybe The South Of France Isn't Such A Good Idea.

I Am So Glad To Hear You Say That.

'Cause At Piano Man's Wine Tasting Last Night,

Everybody Was Saying That Positano Is The New Monaco.

I Don't Want To Run Anymore.

I'm Turning Myself In.

Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.

That Ain't What We've Been Talkin' About.

I Can't Leave My Children.

Bradford May Have Moved On,

But Daniel And Alexis Still Need Me.

Need You? You Gon' Be In Prison.

I need You.

Between The Two Of Us, You The One More Likely

To Have A Rich Friend With An Empty Villa.

Well, At Least If I'm Behind Bars,

They Can Come Visit.

I'm Sorry, Yoga.

All Right.

If That's The Way You Want To Play This,

I'm-A Start Packing.

We Don't Have Anything To Pack.

No, But They Do.

It Was Just Stupid To Think That We Could Avoid Each Other

When We Work In The Same Building.

Now I Don't Know What To Do.

You See, The Problem Is You've Got No One Else To Focus On.

Not Bad, Not Bad. Turn. Thank You.

You Need To Date.

Da? No, I Am Not Ready To Get Involved Again.

Who Said Anything About Getting Involved?

All You Wanna Do Is Have A Little Bit Of Fun. Christina,

Ten Minutes Before The Fun Happens.

Well, You Don't Know What You're Missing, Do You?

Okay, Turn.

Christina, What- What Are You Doing?

You Can't Alter Underwear.

Oh, They Never Catch On.

Okay, Executive Decision-

I'm Gonna Put Your Profile On Bachelocity. Com.

Internet Dating? There Are Freaks Online.

Why Don't You Just Chop Me Into Pieces Yourself,

And We Can Cut Out The Middleman? Mm, They Don't Always

I Don't Need Internet Dating. I Can Get Over Henry Myself.

I'm Not That Desperate.

You're A Little Desperate.

The Internet It Is.

"Five Things I Can't Live Without. "

Well, Doughnuts And My Family...

Ugh, And Eyeglass Cleaner.

I Can't Stand It When They Get Smudged.

Yeah, You Might Want To Sex It Up Just A Little Bit.

Why? What Did You Put? Well, Sex-Five Times.

Oh, Well, Maybe I'll Come Back To This One.

Oh, Listen, Nobody Cares About What You Write Anyway.

All They Care About Is That You've Got

A Cute Little Photograph. Now Smile.

Ooh.

Oh, No, I Wasn't Ready. Do Another One.

Okay, Smile.

Oh, Well, That One's A Little Bit Better.

At Least You've Got One Eye Open. Head Down, Shoot From Above,

Get Those Bangs To Cover Those Caterpillars

And Hide Your Chins By Doing This.

For God Sake, Lose The Glasses.

Amanda, I Wear Glasses. I'm Not Gonna Lie.

Whatever.

But Guys Don't Make Passes At Girls Who Are Fat.

These Are The Shoes I Borrowed.

You Borrowed The Jimmy Choos. This Is A Sandwich.

You Usually Don't Open Up The Box That Fast.

I'll Be Right Back.

Okay, Let's Try This Again.

Aah, Ham!

Yeah! That's Your Best One Yet.

Graphics Wants You To Sign Off On This. Brilliant.

But You Didn't Even Look At It.

The First Rule In Ruining A Magazine Is Stop Caring.

Uh, Why Don't You Go Downstairs

And Supervise The Valentino Shoot? Me? Supervise A Shoot?

Whoa! You've Never Asked Me To Supervise Anything Before.

Wait A Minute, Is This Part Of Your Plan

To Make The Magazine Suck? Do You Care? There'll Be Male Models In Underwear.

Mm, Not If I Have My Way.

Knock, Knock.

Your Late. Take Off Your Clothes.

Ha Ha, Easy Sailor. Buy A Girl A Drink First.

Oh, I-I'm Sorry, I Thought You Were The Underwear Model.

Oh, No, No, No, No, No.

I Am Supervising This Shoot.

But It's Funny That You Mention That

Because I Did Take A Modeling Class Once.

You Know, Thought About It, Put It Away,

Could Always Go Back And Get It.

Hmm, Hmm, Hmm, Hmm. Ow.

What Are You Laughing At?

You, Uh, You Slapped Your Own Ass Too Hard.

That's Funny.

Oh, Yeah, I Guess That Is Funny. Ha Ha.

Cliff St. Paul. Marc St. James.

Wow, We're Both Saints. Is Yours Fake, Too?

No. Mine, Either.

Are You Sure This Doesn't Make Me Look Fat?

I'll Sign For That Package.

Well, Please Let Him Be Dumb. He Can't Have Everything.

Oh. I Put 'Em On Backward.

Thank You.

I Can Help You.

Hello?

Hello.

Oh, Hey, Papi.

These Are My New Friends From The Cemetery-

Mabel, Esther, And Lucille. They Lost Their Husbands, Too.

Heart Attack.

Liver Failure.

Stroke On A Cruise.

I'm Sorry.

You Don't Get Your Money Back,

But They Don't Tell You That.

Oh, We're Maki A Quilt From Our Husbands' Shirts.

Our Dead Husbands. Fun.

Okay, I Decided Go With This One.

I Was Gonna Use The One That Says,

"Drink Till She's Cute," But I Buried Him In It.

Aw.

I Think The Last Shot's The One.

So This Whole Window Thing You're Doing, It's Genius.

I Love It. Totally Get The Concept.

You Have No Idea, Do You? None Whatsoever.

Uh, "Rear Window. "

Hitchcock? Never Saw It.

Really? It-It's Amazing.

I- I-I Love Hitchcock. What Aut "Psycho"?

Uh, Work For One. Does That Count?

Hey, Did You Guys See "Saw"?

No.

Wh-I Said "Seesaw. "

Wow.

I Know. Oh.

Okay, You Have To Go With Me Tomorrow Night.

I'm Seeing "Psycho" At The Film Forum. Oh, That Sounds Like Fun.

Maybe We Could Grab A Beer Before.

Uh, Sure, If By "Beer" You Mean "Appletini. "

Okay.

Gus, Rear Back In The Window.

What Is It, Girl? Someone Felldown Their Well?

Betty... Internet Dating...

Must Mock.

Ooh, Bookmark It. I Gotta Stick Around Here.

I'm Trying To Work Up The Nerve

To Ask Out "Hot Pants" Over There.

Oh, You're Asking Him Out? Maybe I'll Stay Here And Mock You.

What? You Think He's Out Of My League?

He's A Nine. I'm An Eight. He's A Ten. You're A Six.

You're A Bitch. I'm A Seven.

Now I Know This Is Going To Hurt A Bit,

But For Starters, We Can Save 8% By Printing On...

Rice Paper.

Look At That. That's Not Terrible, Huh?

I Can See You. Well, We Can Just Say We're Going Green.

People Will Do Anything If They Think They're Saving A Tree.

Which Brings Me To... Soy Ink.

I've Heard That Stuff Tends To Rub Off.

We Could Throw In A Packet Of Wasabi,

And Then We All Got Lunch. This Is Crazy.

We're Ruining The Magazine, And It's All My Fault.

No, It's Not. It's My Fault.

Alexis, I'm The One Who Lost The Advertisers.

Now, Now, Stop Blaming Yourselves.

It's Both Your Faults,

But Fortunately, I'm Here To Help.

Now How Do You Feel About Free Detergent Samples?

B- Licious.

Kenny.

Henry Needs Daniel's Tag On This.

Okay. Oh, And Will You Give Henry My Time Card?

I Can't Make It To The Accounting Department.

Chicken. Stay Out Of It.

So B.T. Dubs, You Really Did A Number On My Boy Henry.

I Don't Even Think Porn And Malt Liquor

Can Heal The Damage That You Have Inflicted.

Kenny, You're From Greenwich. Stop Frontin'.

South Side, Yo.

Chris-Tay, Oh, Lookin' Good.

Oh, Go Away, Kenny.

Listen, Why Don't You Tell Your Girl To Throw My Man

A Betty Biscuit Before He Leaves For Tucson? Tucson.

It's Spelled "Tuc-Son. "

It Should Be Pronounced "Tuck-Son. "

I Don't Understand A Word That Man Says.

Christina, Look. I Already Have Responses To My Profile.

15 Of Them. First One's From Ilovetacos.

I Love Tacos.

Then Ilovechurros.

I Love Churros.

Ilovetortillas.

Amanda, You're Not Funny.

I'm A Little Funny.

Look, There's One- Niceguy47.

Oh, It's A Real One. Mm-Hmm.

"I'd Love To Go Out With You.

"Your Profile Says You Enjoy Bowling,

So If You Have Some Spare Time... "

Oh. Aw.

I Don't Get It.

"Yes, I Love Bowling. "

Send.

Send That Again.

Why? You Typed "Blowing. "

What Else Could They Do?

We Weren't Due To Dock In Puerto Vallarta

For Two More Days.

So They Put Him In The Freezer,

Right Next To The Beef Tenderloin. Done.

One For My Grandson's Birthday,

And Then One For Christmas,

In Case I'm Dead.

I Always Wondered How My Abuela

Got Such Crisp Bills In The Cards She Sent.

So What Are We Doing Tomorrow?

Tomorrow? Look At Her, The Optimist.

We're Taking The Senior Center Bus

To Rockaway Beach.

The Beach Is A Good Place To Die. No, Home Is Best.

I Always Thought The Mall Would Be A Good Place To Die,

But I'm A Shopper.

You Know Where's Not A Good Place To Die?

A Cruise Ship. They Take Your Money.

I'm Gonna Write Another Letter.

Ooh, That Reminds Me, I Have To Write To That Cereal Company.

I Counted.

There's Not Two Scoops Of Raisins In There.

I'm Writing The Networks.

Why Won't They Bring Back That "Highway To Heaven"?

I Wish I Had Someone To Write A Letter To.

Maybe I'll Find Something To Hate In Rockaway.

You Coming, Too?

Yeah, Sure. What Else I Got Goin' On?

Come On, Betty.

Your Opinion Really Matters To Me.

Ll, The New One Doesn't Really Say

"Classy Fashion Magazine. "

It's More "Where's Lindsay's Mug Shot?"

Oh, And There It Is.

Daniel, Wouldn't You Rather Just Keep "Mode" The Way It Is

And Go To Your Father And Ask Him For Money?

Yeah, But You've Met My Family.

My Mother Was Arrested For Murder,

And She's The Nice One.

Yeah, But Do You Really Want "Mode" Going Out Like This?

Oh, Free Laundry Detergent.

Yeah, Knock Yourself Out.

Thanks.

Why Are You Wearing Your Lucky Sweater?

It's Not Taco Tuesday.

No, But I Have An Appointment...

At The Bowling Alley... With A Boy.

That's A Date. Betty, You've Got A Date.

I'm So Proud Of You For Getting Back Out There.

Me, Too.

whore!

you plotted with Lorenzo to steal my heart...

and then steal my husband!

Would You And The Golden Girls Like A Snack?

I've Got Some Soft Food.

It's Almost Dinnertime.

It's 3:15.

We're Gonna Be Late.

It's The Early Bird Special.

Ack! Mabel Left Her Teeth Again. Ew.

She's Gonna Need These If She Wants The Roast Beef.

Hold It. You Just Put Teeth In Your Purse.

What's Going On With You And These Old Ladies?

They're Fun. Oh Yeah, "Stroke-On-A-Cruise" A Laugh Riot.

They Get Me. Ever Since Santos Died,

Everyone Says, "I Know What You're Going Through. "

Well, They Don't.

They Don't Know What It's Like To Wake Up Every Morning,

Roll Over And Not See That Person Next To You.

These Women Do. Yeah, Well, I Do, Too, Hilda.

Since I Lost Your Mother, Not A Day Goes By

That I Don't Miss Her. I Know.

But It Can't Mean That Life Stops.

You Still Have A Future Ahead Of You.

And You've Got A Son That Needs You.

Justin Is Fine. I'm Fine.

Well, Except For This Shooting Pain In Myack.

Feels Like Rain.

All Right, Girls. Let's Go.

Look.

This Is Soy Ink.

This Is Dolce.

Damn It. I've Gotta Stop Doing That.

Okay, So Maybe Soy Ink Isn't The Best Option.

We'll Figure Something Else Out.

We're Out Of Options. You Know What We Have To Do.

Oh, No. No. I'm Not Going To Dad.

He's Finally Staing To Trust Me.

H- How Can I Tell Him I Lost Half Our Advertisers?

You Can't, But I Can.

I May Not Remember The Last Couple Years,

But I Know I Was His Golden Boy.

I'll Just Tell Him It Was My Fault,

And I'll Get The Money From Him. All Right.

You Were Always The One Who Could Get Away With Anything.

I'll Be Right Back.

This Golden Boy's Gotta Go Wash Ink Off His Boobs.

G- Stick, You Sittin' Down?

Um, Ye You Can See I Am.

Brace Yourself. Bad News Vis - ?Vis Your Old Lady.

Oh, My God, My Mom? Did She Fall Again?

Nah, I'm Talkin' About Betty.

Oh, My God, Did Betty Fall Again? Worse.

You Know I'm Hooked Up Like Perez When It Comes To Gossip.

I Hear Everything, Yo.

That's Because You Pee In The Ladies' Room.

Well, They're Cleaner. Men Are Pigs.

But This Is Something I Heard With My Own Eyes.

Kenny, Will You Just Tell Me? What's Going On With Betty?

Bowling...

Tonight...

With A Dude.

Cuteinqueens?

Niceguy47?

Hi, I'm Betty.

Steve.

It's Nice To Meet You.

Adult Braces. Wow.

Oh, Yeah. Uh, You Probably Didn't See Them In The Photo.

I'm Glad You Recognized Me.

Um, Size 6, Please.

An 11.

Yeah, That Was A Really Good Picture.

I Know, It Was, Like, My Best Ever.

yo, fish!

you know the italian word for you is "pesce"?

we can?

oh, man...

crazy "pesce" took the gun!

so?

I mean?

So I Fured,Why Even Bother With Ilovebunnies?

Yeah,Why Bother? Lot Of Frames Left.

Oh,You're Right. You're Right.

But Just So You Know,That's How I Ended Up With Cuteinqueens.

I Didn't Want You Thinking I Was Conceited,

'Cause I'm Not.

Oh,That's Me.

Uh,Go Ahead. I'm Gonna Hit The Restroom.

Oh,Okay,Uh,Funny Story About The Bathroom Here-

A Little Gross, But Mostly Funny.

I'll Tell You When You Get Back.

Hello.

So How's It Going?

Good. He's A Really Nice Guy, Just Like His Screen Name Says.

And We Haven't Had Any Of Those Awkward Pauses.

Great.

Oh,I Have To Go.

Someone's I.M.Ing Me On Bachelocity.

Maybe I'll Get As Lucky As You Did. See You Later.

You're not slngle.

"And You Are A Creepy Stalker. "

No I'm not. I'm your husband.

Look What I Swiped From The Closet

For My Date With The Underwear Model.

That's Right. I'm Seeing Gus Tonight. I Don't Believe You.

It's True.

I Want Proof. Ooh,Send Me A Dirty Cell Phone Picture.

Oh,But Not Your Parts Again. That Was Gross.

Yeah,Well, Your Left One's Bigger.

Hey.

You Got All Dressed Up.

Mm. New Cashmere.

Old... Cat Hair.

So Listen,After The Movie, Maybe We Can Go To The Village-

Oh,Yeah,Right. Oh,I Meant To Call You.

I'm Gonna Have To Take A Rain Check On "Psycho. "

You're Not Going To Believe This,

But I Asked Out Gus.

For... Tonight? Yeah, And He Said,"Yes. "

Aah! I'm Going Out With An Underwear Model.

Are You Dying? I'm Dying.

Oh,Yeah,Yeah,I'm Dying. Uh,I Thought We Were Going Out.

Yeah,But Gus And I Are Going On A Date.

You And I Were Just Gonna...

Oh.

No. No "Oh. " It-It-It's Fine.

We Weren't... At All. Cliff...

Okay,I've Gotta Go. Have Fun On Your Date.

You Can't Have Me

You Can't Keep Me For Yourse

Not You...

Yes,I Got One!

Henry?

Oh,My God,Betty. I Didn't See You.

What Are You Doing Here?

League Night.

The Accountants Have A Team- "The Debitz" With A "Z."

Totally Intimidates "The Actuaries. "

What About You?

Oh,Um,I'm On A Date.

A First Date. It's Going Really Well.

Actually, He'll Be Back Any Second.

He-He Doesn't-He Didn't Have A- A Yellow Shirt On,Did He?

Yeah,Yeah

I- I've Been Calling Him "Yellow Head" All Night.

We Just Laugh. Uh,How Did You Know?

Well,I-I Think I Saw Him In The Bathroom,

And He-He Got A Phone Call And Had To Leave.

Oh,My God. Well,Do You Know Why?

Well,I Think I Heard Him Say Something About A Pet Bird.

It Was Sick. Bird Flu.

Yeah,He Had To Rush And Say Good-Bye,

And He-He Taught The Bird How To Say Good-Bye,

And-You Know What? The Bird's Sick.

Let's Just Leave It At That.

Oh,Uh,Well, That's Too Bad.

Um,Well,I Guess I'll Just Finish My Game On My Own.

It Was Good To See You.

Hey,You Know What?

Um,I Was Thinking...

Well,I Don't See Any Of The Other Debitz Here.

Do You Mind If I Just Warmed Up In The Lane Next To You?

Aren't We Supposed To Be Avoiding Each Other?

Right. How's That Working For You?

Not So Good. Same Here.

Look,Why Don't We Just Try And Be Friends?

Yeah. And In That Case, Friends Bowl,Right?

Right.

Yeah.

I've Been Doing That All Night.

Nice.

Okay,Lovers,

It's The Time You've All Been Waiting For.

It's Couples' Bowl.

Yeah,Yeah,Yeah

Bowling Sucks.

Let's Go.

Cliff,I Am So Sorry.

Look,It's- It's Not A Big Deal.

It's Just- Just A Misunderstanding.

We-We Never Need To Talk About This Again.

You Know What? We Are Gonna Talk About This Again.

I Don't Know What Planet You're From,

But When Someone Asks You Out For Drinks And A Movie,

That's A Date, And The Only Reason

You Didn't Think So Is 'Cause It Was Me.

That's Not True. Oh,Come On.

We Both Know That I Don't Have "Muscle Tone"

Or-Or Use "Products," And For No Apparent Reason,

I Now Do Annoying "Air Quotes. "

Stop It.

You're Such A Clich?

You And Gus? What Is That?

That's Beauty... And Beauty. That's Not A Story.

Now "Beauty And The Beast"- That's A Fairy Tale.

I Am Not Dating Gus Just Because Of His Looks.

We Had A Real Connection. We Laughed Together.

We Laughed Together. Gus Just Stood There

In His Backwards Underwear Lookin' Hot.

So You Admit That He's Hot.

Yes. Yes,He Is Hot. But I've Got News For You.

In 20 Years,That Guy Candy Is Gonna Turn Into This.

I Just Got There A Little Sooner.

You Know Something,Marc?

I Thought That There Was More To You.

It's My Mistake.

Alexis,Daniel.

Dad.

And This Is My Fianc?E, Wilhelmina.

I've Heard So Much About You.

So When's The Last Time I Was Here?

Oh,About A Month Ago, Before The Car Accident.

We Had Dinner Together, As We Do Every Sunday.

Laying It On A Little Thick,Aren't We?

May I Take Your Coat? Sure.

You Okay?

Yeah,Uh...

I Thought I Just Had,Like, A Memory Flashback Or Something.

Weird. Maybe I'm Just Hungry.

Well,You're In Luck.

Mommy Made Fondue.

Now Everyone Put Your Hats On.

I Am Not Putting That On.

Bah Humbug,Daniel. We're All Together Tonight.

It's A Perfect Time To Take Our Holiday Photo.

Actually,We Usually Do It In Front Of The Christmas Tree

With Our Real Mother. Come On.

Daniel,I Would Never Try

To Take The Place Of Your Real Mother.

You'll Have Two Christmases This Year-One Here

And One On The Lam. Here,Let Me Take That For You.

Unless You Want To Continue In Your Mother's Tradition.

Thanks,Dad.

All Right, Everyone Smile.

Hey,Fish.

What The Hell Do You Think You're Doing?

I Don't... I-I Don't Know.

I- I Saw The Gun And... And The Wedding Invitation,

And I Just Lost It.

But Look.

The Woman That Ruined My Life Did What I Never Could.

She Brought Them Together.

They're A Family.

That's All I Ever Wanted.

It's Okay Now.

Let's Go To Italy.

I Gotta Say, This Is Very Relaxing.

It Really Does Pass The Time.

You Know What Else Was Nice?

The Applesauce That We Had For Dinner.

I Think I Could Have It Every Day.

They're Sleeping, Grandma.

For Her,It Could Be The Big One.

Ay,Papi.

It's Not Much, But It's There.

Who Died? I Get Her Clothes.

I'll Get It.

Justin.

Hey,Hilda. Listen,Justin Took Your Car

For A Little Joyride With His Friends.

What?

I'm Goin' Upstairs.

Hey. He Crashed It Into A Tree.

No One Was Hurt

Except The Car And The Tree.

Listen,This One's Between Us.

I Know You Been Goin' Through A Lot Lately,

But Keep An Eye On Him.

I Seen These Things Spiral.

Yeah,Yeah. Thanks,Rita.

Mm-Hmm.

Thanks.

All Right,Ladies.

Looks Like We're Gonna Have To Wrap Things Up.

You Don't Have To Go Home, But You Can't Quilt Here.

Will We See You Tomorrow?

I Don't Think So. I Mean,This Was Fun,

But Maybe I'll Just See You At The Cemetery.

I Mean,Above Ground.

So Who's Got The Walker? Yeah,Let's Help.

Well,Dinner Is Served.

Come On.

Soup's Not Soup Unless It's Hot.

Wait,Dad,There's Something I Have To Tell You.

It's About The Magazine.

No,Alexis. I Can't Let You Do That.

Hot Or Cold, Soup Is Soup.

I Lost Atlantic Attire,

Which Led To A Substantial Advertiser Pullout.

How Substantial?

52%, But I Can Explain.

Of All The Incompetent- Hold On,Dad. It's Not His Fault.

He Was Protecting Me. Don't Defend Him.

Your Brother Has A Long History Of Making Mistakes Around Here

And Expecting Everybody Else To Clean Up After Him.

You're The Only One I Can Count On To Do Anything Right.

And Me,Of Course.

Look,I Can Fix This. Just Give Me The Chance.

I Always Knew

Something Like This Wagonna Happen.

You've Had Every Opportunity Handed To You.

How The Hell Could You Turn Into Such A Screwup?

You Are Dead To Me,Alex.

Excuse Me.

Oh,Boy,It Really Is Date Night.

Who Cares?

Two Friends Can Have Dinner,Right?

No Big Deal.

Yeah.

What Are You Doing?

Oh,Oh, This Is For Me.

Sucks To Be You.

No,Seriously, Do You Want To Sit Here?

No,I'm Fine.

Thank You.

Thank You.

Oh,Look, It's My Date's Bird.

Guess He Didn't Make It.

I'm Sorry. I'm A Terrible Liar.

His Bird Got Sick?

And You're On A Bowling Team Called The Debitz?

No,The Debitz Are Real. It Just Wasn't League Night. Oh.

I- I Heard You Were On A Date, And It Made Me Kind Of Crazy.

Are You Serious? You Got Jealous?

Oh,No,No,No. We Are Not...

We're Friends. He Got Another Girl Pregnant.

Betty. What? I Can Deal With It. I'm Sure Hcan.

Rose For Your Pretty Lady?

Oh,No,She's Not My Pretty Lady.

I Mean,She's Pretty, Uh,But...

He Got Another Girl Pregnant. Oh.

Oh.

You Know What? Suddenly I'm Not So Hungry.

Wait,Betty,Wait.

No,We Can Do This. You Mean So Much To Me.

Oh,My God, He's Proposing!

What? What? No,No.

Champagne For The Happy Couple. No,No. No,No,I'm Not.

Wait. I Would,But...

I Can't Do This.

No,Uh...

You Okay?

Where Are Ey?

Down In The Kitchen.

She's Licking Fondue Cheese Off His Fingers.

What's Wrong?

I Remember Everything.

Dad's Been Lying To Me This Whole Time,

Acting Like Some Loving Father.

He Hates Me.

No,He Doesn't. He Just Wanted To Use The Accident

As A Way To Start Over With You.

I Remember The Accident,Too. It Wasn't Your Fault.

What?

We Took Dad's Car, And I Had...

I'd-I'd Paid Someone To,Um...

To Cut The Brakes.

What? No,You Didn't.

Yes,I Did.

He Was Trying To Get Rid Of Me, And So I Was Trying To...

What? Kill Him?

Oh,God. Alexis,What The Hell Is Wrong With You?

I Was Torturing Myself. I Thought I Put You In A Coma.

All This Time You Wanted To Murder Our Father?

Daniel,I'm Sorry.

Please Don't Tell Him.

Wouldn't Believe Me Anyway.

So You Had A Big Day,Huh?

Stealing A Car, Crashing A Car.

I Think We Should Talk About It.

Are You Serious?

Yeah,I Know You Think I Haven't Been Paying Attention

To What's Been Going On Lately,

And Maybe I Haven't, But That's Gonna Change.

Oh,So Now You're Gonna Turn Back Into A Mother?

What's That Supposed To Mean?

It's Not Exactly A Part-Time Job When You Feel Like It.

Oh,No, Get The Hell Back Here.

I Am Your Mother. Don't You Forget It.

Let Go Of Me. No,Justin,Listen.

A Kid Losing His Father-

That Is Not Supposed To Happen.

And I Would Do Anything- Anything In The World

If I Could Bring Him Back.

But... It's Just You And Me.

We're All We've Got.

And I'm Getting Scared, Justin,

Because I Feel Like We're- We're Moving Like This.

So I Think It's Time We Pull It Together,Yeah?

I Mean,I Been Acting Like An 80 Year Old,

And You With The... With The Attitude

And The Clothes-

That's Not You.

I Just Wanted Him To Be Proud Of Me.

Oh,Baby,He Was Proud Of You.

He Is.

Just Exactly, Exactly Like You Are.

I Just Miss Him So Much.

Oh,Me,Too.

But It's Gonna Be Okay.

Just Let It Out.

We're Gonna Be Okay.

Oh.

If You Had Told Me When I Woke Up This Morning,

That I Would End Up At Your Apartment,

I Woulnot Have Believed You.

Will You Stop Grinning?

You Picked Me.

I Didn't Pick You. I Just Wanted To See "Psycho. "

You Picked Me Over An Underwear Model What Is That?

That-That Is A Dance You're Never Gonna See Again.

Exactly.

So What If I Get Scared?

Well...

Then I'll Be Right Here Next To You.

What? I Need To Talk To You.

Why? What Could There Possibly Be Left To Say?

I Just Don't Want Things To End Like This.

So You Had To Follow Me All The Way Home?

No,I Followed You Because I Didn't Want You

Walking Alone At Night.

Henry,Please.

Stop. Stop Being So Nice.

You're Not Making This Any Easier.

Well,What Am I Supposed To Do?

I Don't Know.

Kick A Puppy Or Knock Over A Midget.

I- I Think The More Considerate Term

Is "Little Person"?

No. See? This Is Exactly What I'm Talking About.

Well,I Don't Know What To Do.

We Said We Were Gonna Avoid Each Other

And That Didn't Work.

Being Friends Practically Got Us Married.

So What's Left? Should I Leave "Mode"?

Okay.

I'll-I'll Give My Notice On Monday.

Daniel Can Help You Find Something.

Yeah.

Good-Bye,Henry.

Good-Bye,Betty.

There Is Another Option.

There Is?

You Must Remember This

I Know You're Leaving In Five Months,

And I Know Everyone's Gonna Say It's A Big Mistake,

And I Know That I'm Gonna Get My Heart Broken,

But Maybe It's Worth It.

Are You Sure?

It's Still The Same Old Story

A Fight For Love And Glory

A Case Of Do Or Die

The World Will Always Welcome Lovers

As Time Goes By

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