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1
00:00:01,667 --> 00:00:03,801
♪ ooh-o-ooh-ooh ♪
2
00:00:03,869 --> 00:00:06,804
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
3
00:00:06,872 --> 00:00:10,275
♪ travel down the road
and back again ♪
4
00:00:10,343 --> 00:00:12,210
♪ your heart is true ♪
5
00:00:12,278 --> 00:00:17,049
♪ you're a pal
and a confidante ♪
6
00:00:17,116 --> 00:00:20,552
♪ and if you threw
a party ♪
7
00:00:20,619 --> 00:00:24,523
♪ invited everyone
you knew ♪
8
00:00:24,590 --> 00:00:26,324
♪ you would see ♪
9
00:00:26,392 --> 00:00:29,027
♪ the biggest gift
would be from me ♪
10
00:00:29,095 --> 00:00:31,096
♪ and the card attached
would say ♪
11
00:00:31,164 --> 00:00:33,765
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
12
00:00:33,832 --> 00:00:35,500
♪hank you
for bein' a friend ♪
13
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:37,635
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪
14
00:00:37,703 --> 00:00:41,940
♪ thank you
for bein' a friend ♪♪
15
00:00:45,611 --> 00:00:48,547
Captioning made possible by
witt/thomas/harris productions,
cbs television network,
16
00:00:48,614 --> 00:00:51,450
And 1992 nci caption club/
grantsmanship
17
00:00:51,517 --> 00:00:53,418
O.K.
18
00:00:53,486 --> 00:00:54,953
O.K. You guys ready?
19
00:00:55,020 --> 00:00:56,121
Say goodbye.
20
00:00:56,189 --> 00:00:58,190
[high voice]
oh, no! Please!
21
00:01:04,397 --> 00:01:05,663
Now, chuy, remember,
22
00:01:05,731 --> 00:01:07,832
Everything's got to be
just right today.
23
00:01:07,900 --> 00:01:10,135
A very important group
is checking in--
24
00:01:10,203 --> 00:01:12,170
The daughters
of the traditional south.
25
00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,606
And I want dinner
to be perfect.
26
00:01:14,673 --> 00:01:16,908
What do you want me
to do,
27
00:01:16,976 --> 00:01:18,843
Cook a possum or somethin'?
28
00:01:25,017 --> 00:01:27,385
Chuy, this means
a lot to me.
29
00:01:27,453 --> 00:01:30,888
I took care of the rooms
for your southern belles.
30
00:01:30,956 --> 00:01:33,325
I put a mint
on every pillow.
31
00:01:33,392 --> 00:01:35,893
Sophia,
you put a feenamint
on every pillow.
32
00:01:38,697 --> 00:01:40,965
Oh, I guess
that around 2 a.M.,
33
00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:43,368
The south will rise again.
34
00:01:46,672 --> 00:01:48,106
Hi, oliver.
35
00:01:48,174 --> 00:01:49,974
Did you finish
your homework?
36
00:01:50,042 --> 00:01:51,909
Are we doing this
every day?
37
00:01:51,977 --> 00:01:53,211
I finished my science.
38
00:01:53,279 --> 00:01:54,712
I'll do my math later.
39
00:01:54,780 --> 00:01:57,081
Maybe I'd better
look at your science.
40
00:01:57,150 --> 00:01:58,250
Fine.
41
00:01:58,317 --> 00:02:00,585
It's on the
electromagnetic pull
42
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:01,919
Of astral black holes
43
00:02:01,987 --> 00:02:04,456
And their effect
on ultraviolet rays.
44
00:02:05,958 --> 00:02:08,426
Uh-huh. Well,
this looks fine.
45
00:02:09,762 --> 00:02:13,097
Hi. Uh, reservation
for smith.
46
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:16,601
Would you sign
here, please?
47
00:02:18,704 --> 00:02:21,039
Blanche, do you see
that couple over there?
48
00:02:21,106 --> 00:02:22,374
Don't look.
49
00:02:22,441 --> 00:02:23,775
What about them?
50
00:02:23,842 --> 00:02:26,211
Come on. Don't tell me
you don't see.
51
00:02:26,279 --> 00:02:27,779
Don't look!
52
00:02:29,515 --> 00:02:30,782
What about them,
rose?
53
00:02:30,849 --> 00:02:33,117
He told me
his name was smith,
54
00:02:33,186 --> 00:02:34,619
And I know it isn't.
55
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:36,621
Do you know
what that means?
56
00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:38,890
Yeah. That room's going
to be available again
57
00:02:38,957 --> 00:02:40,458
In a couple of hours.
58
00:02:41,460 --> 00:02:44,429
Here you go,
mr. Smith. Room 207.
59
00:02:45,631 --> 00:02:47,865
Why did you
do that, blanche?
60
00:02:47,933 --> 00:02:49,867
I worked with
that man's wife.
61
00:02:49,935 --> 00:02:51,803
I've seen him at
christmas parties.
62
00:02:51,870 --> 00:02:54,306
Oh, thank god he
didn't recognize me
63
00:02:54,373 --> 00:02:55,873
Without
my elf costume.
64
00:02:57,042 --> 00:02:58,476
Aren't you glad
we decided
65
00:02:58,544 --> 00:03:00,878
You shouldn't wear
your elf costume here?
66
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,381
There was nothing
to decide.
67
00:03:03,449 --> 00:03:05,383
Didn't make sense
to wear it
68
00:03:05,451 --> 00:03:07,385
After you cut
the bells off.
69
00:03:07,453 --> 00:03:08,720
The point is,
70
00:03:08,787 --> 00:03:11,389
There is sin going on
in our hotel.
71
00:03:11,457 --> 00:03:14,058
Rose, I'm sorry,
but that's
one glass house
72
00:03:14,126 --> 00:03:15,727
I really
don't feel qualified
73
00:03:15,794 --> 00:03:17,229
To throw stones at.
74
00:03:17,296 --> 00:03:19,231
But it's wrong.
75
00:03:19,298 --> 00:03:20,232
What's wrong?
76
00:03:20,299 --> 00:03:22,200
Oh, rose
is in a snit
77
00:03:22,268 --> 00:03:24,869
Because some guy
is shacked up
in 207.
78
00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:27,572
I know his wife.
It's wrong.
79
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,906
Wait a minute, rose.
80
00:03:28,974 --> 00:03:30,408
We're in
the hotel business.
81
00:03:30,476 --> 00:03:31,843
It's not up to us
82
00:03:31,910 --> 00:03:34,412
To judge the people
staying in the hotel.
83
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:37,148
Daughters of the
traditional south?
84
00:03:38,484 --> 00:03:39,917
Those bigots in bonnets
85
00:03:39,985 --> 00:03:41,653
Aren't staying
in this hotel.
86
00:03:49,194 --> 00:03:50,562
Roland, there is
nothing wrong
87
00:03:50,630 --> 00:03:52,864
With the daughters
of the traditional south.
88
00:03:52,931 --> 00:03:55,333
When they
put those sheets
over their heads,
89
00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:56,868
It's some kind of salute
90
00:03:56,935 --> 00:03:58,436
To casper
the friendly ghost.
91
00:03:59,538 --> 00:04:02,073
Oh, when is that?
92
00:04:02,141 --> 00:04:05,577
Roland, this is not that
kind of organization.
93
00:04:05,645 --> 00:04:06,911
Are you telling me
94
00:04:06,979 --> 00:04:09,414
You really don't see
who these women are?
95
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:11,716
I see 10 rooms
in our hotel
96
00:04:11,784 --> 00:04:13,084
Rented
for three nights
97
00:04:13,152 --> 00:04:16,020
At a time when we
desperately need
the business.
98
00:04:16,088 --> 00:04:17,522
You are
overreacting.
99
00:04:17,590 --> 00:04:19,991
This is just a bunch
of harmless ladies
100
00:04:20,058 --> 00:04:22,860
Who like to wear
white gloves
and have tea.
101
00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:24,162
And as you said,
102
00:04:24,229 --> 00:04:25,497
It's
not our business
103
00:04:25,564 --> 00:04:27,365
To pass judgment
on our guests.
104
00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:29,567
We're here to make
people feel welcome.
105
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:30,669
Fine.
106
00:04:30,736 --> 00:04:32,003
Where are you going?
107
00:04:32,070 --> 00:04:34,339
To get my jockey suit
and lantern.
108
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:37,409
I'll stand on the lawn,
make them feel at home.
109
00:04:42,715 --> 00:04:44,616
Well, this just
doesn't seem fair.
110
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:45,617
Rose.
111
00:04:45,685 --> 00:04:47,786
How come he
gets to dress up
112
00:04:47,853 --> 00:04:49,120
And I don't?
113
00:04:55,059 --> 00:04:56,761
Rose, take table 5.
114
00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:59,062
Oh, no. Not them.
115
00:04:59,130 --> 00:05:01,665
Do you know what
they're doing here?
116
00:05:01,733 --> 00:05:03,667
I have a pretty good idea.
117
00:05:03,735 --> 00:05:05,636
I haven't seen
drooling like that
118
00:05:05,704 --> 00:05:07,004
Since they sat me
119
00:05:07,071 --> 00:05:09,407
At the zombie table
at shady pines.
120
00:05:15,580 --> 00:05:17,515
Good evening, sir.
121
00:05:17,582 --> 00:05:19,650
And how is your wife
tonight?
122
00:05:21,119 --> 00:05:23,487
Uh, fine,
thank you.
123
00:05:23,555 --> 00:05:24,822
What will you have?
124
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:26,323
Gee,
I'm not sure yet.
125
00:05:26,391 --> 00:05:29,326
Honey, should we
have some wine
while we decide?
126
00:05:29,394 --> 00:05:31,495
Sure.
What do you suggest?
127
00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:34,465
I have a lovely chardonnay
that might be nice
128
00:05:34,533 --> 00:05:35,999
Before you burn in hell
129
00:05:36,067 --> 00:05:38,035
For the rest
of your lives.
130
00:05:42,941 --> 00:05:45,375
Rose, honey,
as a general rule,
131
00:05:45,444 --> 00:05:47,344
Don't damn the guests.
132
00:05:48,447 --> 00:05:49,447
I'm sorry,
133
00:05:49,514 --> 00:05:52,883
But this is
a very personal matter to me.
134
00:05:52,951 --> 00:05:54,318
I've seen this all before.
135
00:05:54,385 --> 00:05:56,821
Let me tell you
a little story
136
00:05:56,888 --> 00:06:00,357
About a couple I knew
back in st. Olaf.
137
00:06:05,196 --> 00:06:08,131
He was strong,
and she was docile,
138
00:06:08,199 --> 00:06:09,834
Almost contented,
you might say.
139
00:06:09,901 --> 00:06:11,836
They were married
in a pasture
140
00:06:11,903 --> 00:06:13,537
Where they used to graze.
141
00:06:16,908 --> 00:06:18,843
It was a lovely wedding--
142
00:06:18,910 --> 00:06:20,344
Wait, wait, wait.
Graze?
143
00:06:20,411 --> 00:06:23,747
Oh, yes. They were cows.
144
00:06:23,815 --> 00:06:25,248
But anyway...
145
00:06:26,785 --> 00:06:29,353
A few moments
after the ceremony ended,
146
00:06:29,420 --> 00:06:32,857
When they were leading
the bride to the barn
147
00:06:32,924 --> 00:06:35,526
To cut her
out of her dress,
148
00:06:35,594 --> 00:06:36,894
The unspeakable happened.
149
00:06:36,962 --> 00:06:37,862
The unspeakable?
150
00:06:37,929 --> 00:06:38,863
Yes.
151
00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:40,865
Yes, another cow...
152
00:06:40,932 --> 00:06:42,065
Floozy...
153
00:06:44,168 --> 00:06:45,536
A shameless, painted cow
154
00:06:45,604 --> 00:06:48,873
Who'd let
anybody milk her...
155
00:06:50,475 --> 00:06:53,677
Well, she began
to make eyes at tim.
156
00:06:53,745 --> 00:06:54,845
Tim? Who's tim?
157
00:06:54,913 --> 00:06:58,415
The bull. Roland,
stay with me on this.
158
00:06:58,483 --> 00:06:59,817
Anyway, all I know
159
00:06:59,885 --> 00:07:03,821
Is that wedding ring wasn't
in tim's nose five minutes
160
00:07:03,889 --> 00:07:05,322
Before he
caught floozy's eye.
161
00:07:05,390 --> 00:07:08,325
Oh, sure,
we turned our backs
162
00:07:08,393 --> 00:07:09,493
And tried to pretend
163
00:07:09,561 --> 00:07:11,896
We couldn't hear
what was going on,
164
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:14,732
But how can you not
hear the cowbells?
165
00:07:14,799 --> 00:07:17,334
Oh, those bells...
166
00:07:17,402 --> 00:07:18,836
Those awful, awful bells.
167
00:07:18,904 --> 00:07:21,271
I can still
hear them clanging.
168
00:07:21,339 --> 00:07:22,339
Not so cute
169
00:07:22,407 --> 00:07:25,275
When she's
telling the cow
story, is she?
170
00:07:27,679 --> 00:07:29,914
You're not hanging
that flag in here.
171
00:07:29,981 --> 00:07:31,415
Well, of course I am.
172
00:07:31,482 --> 00:07:33,717
Do you know what
this flag represents?
173
00:07:33,785 --> 00:07:36,687
This flag belonged
to big, big granddaddy
hollingsworth.
174
00:07:36,755 --> 00:07:38,155
He used to bring it
175
00:07:38,222 --> 00:07:41,058
To all our fine old
southern family picnics,
176
00:07:41,125 --> 00:07:43,594
Where all the cousins
would gather.
177
00:07:43,662 --> 00:07:46,630
Everybody was courteous
and mannerly,
178
00:07:46,698 --> 00:07:48,599
And gentlemen
would ask ladies
179
00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,601
For the favor
of a dance.
180
00:07:50,669 --> 00:07:53,604
Cousin rex would
be home on vacation
181
00:07:53,672 --> 00:07:56,640
From colonel bob's
school for bad boys.
182
00:07:58,677 --> 00:08:01,612
And he'd ask me
for the favor
183
00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:03,614
Other than
the dancing favor,
184
00:08:03,682 --> 00:08:05,082
And we'd...
185
00:08:06,517 --> 00:08:07,585
Ahh,
186
00:08:07,652 --> 00:08:09,987
It's a grand old flag.
187
00:08:12,156 --> 00:08:15,325
I see. This is just
good old-fashioned fun.
188
00:08:15,393 --> 00:08:17,628
O.K. How about
on Tuesday nights
189
00:08:17,696 --> 00:08:21,131
We hang the nazi flag,
hire an oom-pah band,
190
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:23,801
And dress you up
like eva braun?
191
00:08:23,868 --> 00:08:26,503
It's not the same
as the nazi flag.
192
00:08:26,571 --> 00:08:27,838
It is to me.
193
00:08:27,906 --> 00:08:29,339
When you see this flag,
194
00:08:29,407 --> 00:08:31,141
You see some
southern fairy tale
195
00:08:31,209 --> 00:08:33,644
With a guy
in a white suit
196
00:08:33,712 --> 00:08:36,313
Tipping his hat, saying,
"evenin', miss blanche."
197
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:38,415
Evening.
198
00:08:40,184 --> 00:08:42,419
Sorry.
You were making a point?
199
00:08:42,487 --> 00:08:43,621
That's not funny,
blanche.
200
00:08:43,688 --> 00:08:45,656
That's ancient history.
You know it.
201
00:08:45,724 --> 00:08:48,125
Things aren't
like that anymore.
202
00:08:48,192 --> 00:08:50,127
Uh-oh. Here they come.
203
00:08:50,194 --> 00:08:52,630
So are we going
to check them in?
204
00:08:52,697 --> 00:08:54,665
Can we afford not to?
205
00:08:54,733 --> 00:08:56,166
After
they're checked in,
206
00:08:56,234 --> 00:08:59,169
I want this flag
to come down.
207
00:08:59,237 --> 00:09:02,172
Well, welcome, ladies,
to the golden palace.
208
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,307
Please don't
eat the mints.
209
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:14,151
What's doing, rose?
210
00:09:14,218 --> 00:09:15,953
Oh, it's pretty quiet.
211
00:09:16,021 --> 00:09:19,156
I've called the smiths
every minute and a half
212
00:09:19,223 --> 00:09:22,726
So they won't have time
to start rolling around.
213
00:09:24,495 --> 00:09:26,163
I did the same thing
214
00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:27,898
On dorothy
and stan's honeymoon.
215
00:09:27,966 --> 00:09:29,466
Drove them crazy.
216
00:09:29,534 --> 00:09:33,671
You might want to try it
with a german accent.
217
00:09:33,738 --> 00:09:35,973
Sophia, you're terrible.
218
00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:38,876
Achtung!
219
00:09:45,183 --> 00:09:48,618
[with german accent]
your strudel
is ready und--
220
00:09:48,687 --> 00:09:49,586
I'm sorry.
221
00:09:49,654 --> 00:09:50,854
Wrong number.
222
00:09:53,191 --> 00:09:54,624
Thanks.
223
00:09:54,693 --> 00:09:56,660
They sounded scared.
224
00:09:56,728 --> 00:09:58,128
May I help you?
225
00:09:58,196 --> 00:10:01,198
Yes. A reservation
for mr. And mrs. Smith.
226
00:10:02,266 --> 00:10:05,135
I see.
Mr. And mrs. Smith.
227
00:10:05,203 --> 00:10:08,572
Mr. And mrs. Smith
are here.
228
00:10:10,041 --> 00:10:11,141
That's right...
229
00:10:11,209 --> 00:10:14,644
Mr. Old-enough-to-be-
her-father smith
230
00:10:14,713 --> 00:10:16,146
And the lovely
231
00:10:16,214 --> 00:10:21,384
Mrs. This-sure-beats-
doing-it-on-the-floor-
at-the-office smith.
232
00:10:22,721 --> 00:10:23,821
First of all,
233
00:10:23,888 --> 00:10:26,824
You can kiss
"employee of the month"
goodbye.
234
00:10:26,891 --> 00:10:28,158
Again?
235
00:10:28,226 --> 00:10:30,660
Look, rose,
I know these people.
236
00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:33,831
They're regular customers.
They really are the smiths.
237
00:10:33,898 --> 00:10:36,767
Oh, my gosh.
238
00:10:36,835 --> 00:10:38,068
Achtung.
239
00:10:40,238 --> 00:10:42,472
I'm an exchange student.
240
00:10:44,609 --> 00:10:46,610
Why is that flag
still there?
241
00:10:46,677 --> 00:10:48,612
Blanche didn't
get to it yet.
242
00:10:48,679 --> 00:10:50,080
Oh, I see.
243
00:10:50,148 --> 00:10:52,116
Hey, what are you doing?
244
00:10:52,183 --> 00:10:54,118
I don't want this here.
245
00:10:54,185 --> 00:10:57,121
I swear. If you're not
making such a thing.
246
00:10:57,188 --> 00:11:00,090
I remember once
when big, big granddaddy
hollingsworth--
247
00:11:00,158 --> 00:11:01,291
Just stop it!
248
00:11:01,359 --> 00:11:02,793
This flag, mrs. Devereaux,
249
00:11:02,861 --> 00:11:05,129
Is not about
college football games
250
00:11:05,196 --> 00:11:08,065
Or quilting bees or
fried chicken on Sunday.
251
00:11:08,133 --> 00:11:10,667
It's about colleges
that won't let me in.
252
00:11:10,735 --> 00:11:13,170
It's about companies
that won't hire me.
253
00:11:13,238 --> 00:11:16,173
It's about crosses being burnt
on people's lawns today.
254
00:11:16,241 --> 00:11:18,008
Not in the evil past,
255
00:11:18,076 --> 00:11:20,677
Not just in the south,
all over.
256
00:11:20,745 --> 00:11:22,545
The north is just as bad.
257
00:11:22,613 --> 00:11:24,248
Damn yankees.
258
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:30,154
You honestly
don't get this, do you?
259
00:11:30,221 --> 00:11:33,157
I don't see where
there's anything to get.
260
00:11:33,224 --> 00:11:34,858
This is just a flag.
261
00:11:34,926 --> 00:11:37,627
To me, it's a bunch of
wonderful family memories.
262
00:11:37,695 --> 00:11:41,298
I don't want to work for
anybody who feels that way.
263
00:11:41,365 --> 00:11:42,632
I don't think I can.
264
00:11:42,700 --> 00:11:44,034
Why, roland--
265
00:11:44,102 --> 00:11:47,104
I'm just going to look
for another job, blanche.
266
00:11:48,673 --> 00:11:50,274
Well...
267
00:11:58,715 --> 00:11:59,682
Hey, chuy,
268
00:11:59,750 --> 00:12:02,585
What's this
on tomorrow's
lunch menu?
269
00:12:02,652 --> 00:12:04,086
"sausage
on split bread"?
270
00:12:04,153 --> 00:12:05,721
That's a hot dog.
271
00:12:05,789 --> 00:12:08,691
Who's going
to want that?
272
00:12:08,759 --> 00:12:10,726
Let me
tell you something.
273
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:13,228
I've seen thousands
of people line up
274
00:12:13,296 --> 00:12:15,230
For a little
piece of sausage
275
00:12:15,298 --> 00:12:17,733
Because it's
the only food available.
276
00:12:17,801 --> 00:12:18,868
They suffer in silence
277
00:12:18,935 --> 00:12:21,904
As they inch up towards
the head of the line
278
00:12:21,971 --> 00:12:23,906
With rain beating
down on them.
279
00:12:23,973 --> 00:12:26,809
Don't tell me I don't
know what people want.
280
00:12:26,877 --> 00:12:28,677
It was that bad
in the barrio?
281
00:12:28,745 --> 00:12:31,747
No. It was last Sunday
at the dolphins game.
282
00:12:33,750 --> 00:12:36,652
Listen, do you
think I'm wrong?
283
00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:37,720
Yes.
284
00:12:38,855 --> 00:12:41,390
Shouldn't you let me
finish my sentence?
285
00:12:41,458 --> 00:12:43,025
No.
286
00:12:43,092 --> 00:12:45,628
There's a couple
in this hotel
committing adultery.
287
00:12:45,695 --> 00:12:48,531
I know it's not
the in thing,
288
00:12:48,598 --> 00:12:51,199
But I happen to believe
in family values.
289
00:12:51,267 --> 00:12:52,868
Don't start
with family values.
290
00:12:52,936 --> 00:12:56,204
After sal died, I had
to be a single parent.
291
00:12:56,272 --> 00:12:58,574
I took care of dorothy
the best I could.
292
00:12:58,642 --> 00:13:00,876
Oh, sophia, dorothy
took care of you.
293
00:13:00,944 --> 00:13:04,179
Oh, that would
explain the free food.
294
00:13:05,582 --> 00:13:07,215
We should have a policy
295
00:13:07,283 --> 00:13:09,384
Against people
coming to our hotel
296
00:13:09,453 --> 00:13:10,553
To commit adultery.
297
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,522
Don't tell me you
never went to a hotel
298
00:13:13,590 --> 00:13:15,023
To have a little fun.
299
00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:16,191
I may have gone,
300
00:13:16,259 --> 00:13:19,462
But not with
somebody else's husband.
301
00:13:19,529 --> 00:13:23,231
Actually, once, I did
wind up in a hotel bed
302
00:13:23,299 --> 00:13:25,233
With someone
other than charlie,
303
00:13:25,301 --> 00:13:26,569
But it was an accident.
304
00:13:26,636 --> 00:13:29,738
You had an affair,
little miss goody two shoes?
305
00:13:29,806 --> 00:13:33,609
Well, I'm shocked.
I don't know what to say.
306
00:13:33,677 --> 00:13:35,644
It wasn't an affair,
technically.
307
00:13:35,712 --> 00:13:37,179
See, charlie and I
308
00:13:37,246 --> 00:13:42,050
Used to go to
the st. Olaf hotel
every few months
309
00:13:42,118 --> 00:13:43,686
To spice things up.
310
00:13:43,753 --> 00:13:45,688
We'd have a nice dinner
311
00:13:45,755 --> 00:13:48,190
And go up to our room
312
00:13:48,257 --> 00:13:51,894
And dress up
like o favorite
storybook characters...
313
00:13:52,929 --> 00:13:54,697
And then make love.
314
00:13:54,764 --> 00:13:57,299
Nothing unusual.
315
00:13:57,367 --> 00:13:59,201
Perfectly normal.
316
00:13:59,268 --> 00:14:00,469
Yikes.
317
00:14:02,839 --> 00:14:05,774
One night, charlie went
in the bathroom to put on--
318
00:14:05,842 --> 00:14:08,811
Well, this is
a little embarrassing.
319
00:14:08,879 --> 00:14:09,945
We're all adults here.
320
00:14:10,013 --> 00:14:12,147
There's nothing to
be embarrassed about.
321
00:14:12,215 --> 00:14:16,752
He went in to dress up
like the big bad wolf.
322
00:14:18,121 --> 00:14:19,688
Sick. She's sick.
323
00:14:20,790 --> 00:14:22,290
Now, stop it.
324
00:14:22,358 --> 00:14:23,559
Sorry.
I don't understand
325
00:14:23,627 --> 00:14:26,194
About people
who dress up like
storybook characters.
326
00:14:26,262 --> 00:14:27,663
Of course I was lucky.
327
00:14:27,731 --> 00:14:28,898
Without his clothing,
328
00:14:28,965 --> 00:14:31,466
Sal looked like
wee willie winkie
anyway.
329
00:14:33,970 --> 00:14:35,871
Can I finish my story?
330
00:14:35,939 --> 00:14:38,674
Well, when he went
into the bathroom,
331
00:14:38,742 --> 00:14:40,175
I turned out the lights.
332
00:14:40,243 --> 00:14:42,344
Why bother
putting on costumes,
333
00:14:42,412 --> 00:14:44,312
Then turn out
the lights?
334
00:14:47,751 --> 00:14:49,818
Now I do feel silly.
335
00:14:49,886 --> 00:14:50,986
Oh...
336
00:14:51,054 --> 00:14:52,087
Rose...
337
00:14:52,155 --> 00:14:53,188
The affair.
338
00:14:53,256 --> 00:14:55,691
Well, we wanted
to order room service,
339
00:14:55,759 --> 00:14:58,160
But the st. Olaf hotel
doesn't have it.
340
00:14:58,227 --> 00:14:59,828
They just
have dumbwaiters.
341
00:14:59,896 --> 00:15:02,364
Are we talking about
a little elevator
dumbwaiter
342
00:15:02,432 --> 00:15:05,367
Or just a guy
who was a dumb waiter?
343
00:15:05,435 --> 00:15:06,669
Little elevator.
344
00:15:06,736 --> 00:15:08,037
O.K.
345
00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:12,174
But the guy who got off it
wasn't that bright, either.
346
00:15:16,913 --> 00:15:21,183
I mean, he saw me in bed,
and he crawled in.
347
00:15:21,250 --> 00:15:23,218
I thought it was charlie.
348
00:15:23,286 --> 00:15:26,689
So I said, "grandma,
what big eyes you have."
349
00:15:26,756 --> 00:15:30,726
He said, "the better
to see you with, my dear."
350
00:15:30,794 --> 00:15:33,161
I said, "grandma,
what big teeth you have."
351
00:15:33,229 --> 00:15:37,132
He said, "the better
to nibble you with,
my dear."
352
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,802
Then charlie came out
of the bathroom
353
00:15:39,869 --> 00:15:42,571
And said, "who's that
sleeping in my bed?"
354
00:15:44,474 --> 00:15:46,742
I was so confused.
355
00:15:47,911 --> 00:15:49,812
I'll bet.
356
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:51,814
Don't take me now, lord.
357
00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:56,619
Don't let this be
the last story
I ever hear.
358
00:15:59,623 --> 00:16:01,023
[man]
ha ha ha!
359
00:16:01,091 --> 00:16:02,557
Ha ha ha!
360
00:16:02,626 --> 00:16:04,559
[woman]
oh, ha ha ha.
361
00:16:04,628 --> 00:16:05,527
[man]
oh.
362
00:16:05,595 --> 00:16:08,063
No. I'm going
to be more tolerant.
363
00:16:08,131 --> 00:16:09,999
Oh, harry.
Ha ha ha.
364
00:16:10,066 --> 00:16:11,967
[man]
ha ha ha!
365
00:16:12,035 --> 00:16:14,269
Ha ha ha!
366
00:16:20,710 --> 00:16:22,645
Oh, please.
367
00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:23,812
Wait. I'm sorry.
368
00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:25,313
It won't happen again.
369
00:16:25,381 --> 00:16:27,516
We're checking out
of 207.
370
00:16:27,583 --> 00:16:28,984
Was something
wrong?
371
00:16:29,052 --> 00:16:31,020
Yeah. This woman's
what's wrong.
372
00:16:31,087 --> 00:16:32,521
Rose, what
did you do?
373
00:16:32,588 --> 00:16:33,522
Nothing.
374
00:16:33,589 --> 00:16:35,524
She completely
invaded our privacy.
375
00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:36,692
Oh, come on.
376
00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:39,528
It's not like I
got in bed with them.
377
00:16:41,031 --> 00:16:44,432
O.K., so I got
in bed with them.
378
00:16:44,500 --> 00:16:45,934
She started
singing hymns.
379
00:16:46,002 --> 00:16:48,037
And she started
babbling something
380
00:16:48,104 --> 00:16:50,405
About hearing
cowbells ring.
381
00:16:51,574 --> 00:16:54,376
This used to be
a nice, little
discreet hotel.
382
00:16:54,443 --> 00:16:56,045
What's it
turning into?
383
00:16:56,112 --> 00:16:57,946
We're doing
the best we can.
384
00:16:58,014 --> 00:16:59,581
You shouldn't
have her here.
385
00:16:59,649 --> 00:17:01,817
And you shouldn't
cheat on your wife.
386
00:17:01,885 --> 00:17:04,519
My wife is none
of your business.
387
00:17:04,587 --> 00:17:07,056
It so happens
this woman and I
388
00:17:07,123 --> 00:17:09,457
Have a very special,
meaningful relationship.
389
00:17:09,525 --> 00:17:11,994
I won't
have you cheapen it.
390
00:17:12,062 --> 00:17:13,495
Let's go, um...
391
00:17:13,563 --> 00:17:14,496
Arlene.
392
00:17:14,564 --> 00:17:15,898
Right. Arlene.
393
00:17:17,967 --> 00:17:19,501
How could you?
394
00:17:19,569 --> 00:17:20,468
I'm sorry.
395
00:17:20,536 --> 00:17:22,171
We're barely
making ends meet.
396
00:17:22,238 --> 00:17:24,506
We cannot afford
to offend any guests.
397
00:17:24,574 --> 00:17:25,473
I'm sorry.
398
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:27,976
You did
the right thing, rose.
399
00:17:28,044 --> 00:17:30,445
I did? I did
the right thing.
400
00:17:30,513 --> 00:17:31,479
I did?
401
00:17:31,547 --> 00:17:33,348
Yeah. Sometimes
what you believe
402
00:17:33,416 --> 00:17:35,250
Is more important
than business,
403
00:17:35,318 --> 00:17:38,220
Although what some people
believe is unbelievable.
404
00:17:38,287 --> 00:17:40,522
I'm not some
kind of bigot
405
00:17:40,590 --> 00:17:42,424
Because I love this flag.
406
00:17:42,491 --> 00:17:43,525
I resent that implication.
407
00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:45,493
You just stop
that right now.
408
00:17:45,561 --> 00:17:47,029
Oh, yes, ma'am,
miss devereaux.
409
00:17:47,097 --> 00:17:50,999
Old roland don't
want to cause you
norouble at all.
410
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:55,003
You hold on to that one.
He's a good one.
411
00:17:55,071 --> 00:17:57,039
What did you say?
412
00:17:57,107 --> 00:17:59,507
"he's a good one."
413
00:17:59,575 --> 00:18:00,542
Roland...
414
00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:01,643
Wait.
415
00:18:03,113 --> 00:18:06,081
I don't feel like
that woman in there.
416
00:18:06,149 --> 00:18:08,583
I don't feel
that way at all.
417
00:18:08,651 --> 00:18:11,553
Can't you see that flag
ties what you believe
418
00:18:11,621 --> 00:18:13,688
And what she believes
together?
419
00:18:13,757 --> 00:18:15,090
That flag's legacy is alive
420
00:18:15,158 --> 00:18:17,592
Whenever I walk down
the street with friends
421
00:18:17,660 --> 00:18:20,428
And a white person
crosses the street
422
00:18:20,496 --> 00:18:21,764
'cause they're afraid
423
00:18:21,831 --> 00:18:23,398
Or when I'm
in the elevator
424
00:18:23,466 --> 00:18:25,934
And you're huddled
in the corner
425
00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:27,770
Wondering what
I'm going to do.
426
00:18:27,837 --> 00:18:29,772
Sometimes I want
to go "hooga!"
427
00:18:29,839 --> 00:18:30,839
Oh!
428
00:18:32,008 --> 00:18:34,643
Just to break
the tension.
429
00:18:34,710 --> 00:18:37,279
Please don't tell me
about that flag.
430
00:18:37,346 --> 00:18:39,181
I've battled it
all my life.
431
00:18:39,249 --> 00:18:42,117
I'm sorry for everything
you have been through,
432
00:18:42,185 --> 00:18:44,452
But what am
I supposed to think
433
00:18:44,520 --> 00:18:47,756
About all my family,
all my friends?
434
00:18:47,824 --> 00:18:50,259
O.K. When I
was in school,
435
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:53,428
Maybe I was
less sensitive
than I could have been.
436
00:18:53,496 --> 00:18:57,065
I was just doing
what all my friends
were doing.
437
00:18:57,133 --> 00:18:58,366
They were my friends.
438
00:18:58,434 --> 00:19:01,136
We were just acting like
everybody we knew acted.
439
00:19:03,206 --> 00:19:04,206
Oh.
440
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:06,608
And then that...
441
00:19:06,676 --> 00:19:09,144
When I had
my first baby--
442
00:19:09,212 --> 00:19:11,579
Well, the hospital
was packed and, uh...
443
00:19:11,647 --> 00:19:14,082
And I had
to share a room
444
00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:16,185
With a young
black woman.
445
00:19:16,252 --> 00:19:18,187
George made a big stink
446
00:19:18,254 --> 00:19:19,688
About
the accommodations.
447
00:19:19,755 --> 00:19:21,656
She had
to have heard him.
448
00:19:21,724 --> 00:19:24,326
Her baby was
as cute as mine.
449
00:19:24,393 --> 00:19:26,594
Cuter, in fact.
450
00:19:26,662 --> 00:19:28,663
Rebecca
was an ugly baby.
451
00:19:30,266 --> 00:19:31,666
Turned out fine.
452
00:19:31,734 --> 00:19:32,667
Ugly baby.
453
00:19:32,735 --> 00:19:35,938
You can get an idea
of how she looked
454
00:19:36,005 --> 00:19:38,841
If you catch sophia
with her teeth out.
455
00:19:38,908 --> 00:19:40,108
The point is
456
00:19:40,176 --> 00:19:43,946
What am I supposed
to do and think
about my family?
457
00:19:44,013 --> 00:19:45,914
What am I
supposed to think
458
00:19:45,982 --> 00:19:48,450
About all
those people I love?
459
00:19:48,517 --> 00:19:51,453
What am I supposed
to think about me?
460
00:19:51,520 --> 00:19:53,956
Everything I grew up
believing in,
461
00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:55,958
All of my
wonderful memories,
462
00:19:56,025 --> 00:19:58,526
They're--they're all
tarnished now by...
463
00:20:01,530 --> 00:20:02,998
Oh, god.
464
00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:06,001
By the truth.
465
00:20:08,972 --> 00:20:10,906
I owe you an apology.
466
00:20:10,974 --> 00:20:12,374
No. You don't
owe me nothing.
467
00:20:12,441 --> 00:20:14,142
Will you stay?
468
00:20:15,811 --> 00:20:18,247
You really have
to start listening to me
469
00:20:18,314 --> 00:20:21,250
When I tell you something
is bothering me,
470
00:20:21,317 --> 00:20:22,751
And I'll try
to understand
471
00:20:22,818 --> 00:20:26,054
Why some of these things
mean so much to you.
472
00:20:26,122 --> 00:20:28,891
The whole world
is messed up right now.
473
00:20:28,958 --> 00:20:31,260
I'd like
to see that get better.
474
00:20:31,327 --> 00:20:33,428
In order
for that to happen,
475
00:20:33,496 --> 00:20:36,431
White people
have to start making
positive assumptions
476
00:20:36,499 --> 00:20:38,367
When they see
people of color,
477
00:20:38,434 --> 00:20:41,370
And people of color could
make positive assumptions
478
00:20:41,437 --> 00:20:43,638
When they
see white people.
479
00:20:43,706 --> 00:20:45,673
Things are just messed up.
480
00:20:45,741 --> 00:20:49,945
Blanche, let's
just try and get rid
of all the barriers
481
00:20:50,013 --> 00:20:52,514
And just trust
each other, o.K.?
482
00:20:56,519 --> 00:20:58,020
Right on.
483
00:21:06,195 --> 00:21:09,131
Captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
484
00:21:11,433 --> 00:21:13,701
Reservrvations for smith.
485
00:21:15,871 --> 00:21:17,305
Oh, really?
486
00:21:17,373 --> 00:21:19,307
Is there
a mrs. Smith?
487
00:21:19,375 --> 00:21:20,641
Har har.
488
00:21:22,378 --> 00:21:25,546
No, but there's
a mr. Jones.
489
00:21:26,548 --> 00:21:28,316
Oh...
490
00:21:28,384 --> 00:21:30,818
Well, that's
a relief.
491
00:21:36,392 --> 00:21:39,327
You just won't
believe what goes on
492
00:21:39,395 --> 00:21:40,895
In the hotel
business.
493
00:21:50,172 --> 00:21:53,107
Captions copyright 1992
touchstone pictures
and television
494
00:21:53,175 --> 00:21:59,047
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
national captioning institute
34297
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