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1
00:00:01,468 --> 00:00:03,398
- Hey!
Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud here!
2
00:00:03,404 --> 00:00:06,374
And I'm about
to make it rain savings!
3
00:00:08,342 --> 00:00:10,742
15% off all dental products!
4
00:00:10,745 --> 00:00:12,105
You want the tooth?
5
00:00:12,113 --> 00:00:14,481
You can't handle the tooth!
6
00:00:14,482 --> 00:00:16,649
Meatballs with a chance
of clouds?
7
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,118
Give me a break!
8
00:00:18,119 --> 00:00:19,119
A dance break!
9
00:00:25,259 --> 00:00:26,359
He killed 14 people
10
00:00:28,596 --> 00:00:31,156
about Daniel Hertzler,
11
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,625
better known to millions
as Kyle the Cloud 9 Cloud.
12
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:37,170
- Damn, when white people go
crazy, they really do it up.
13
00:00:37,171 --> 00:00:39,201
- Yeah, we pretty much still
have the market cornered
14
00:00:39,206 --> 00:00:40,366
on serial killing.
15
00:00:40,374 --> 00:00:42,609
It's one of the last
non-integrated industries.
16
00:00:42,610 --> 00:00:45,240
- Okay, look, this is not
the best in-store viewing.
17
00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,546
Amy, could you change it?
18
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:47,547
- Right.
Got it.
19
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,548
Um...
20
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,149
Oh.
- Oh, no, no.
21
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:51,251
No, that just made it worse.
22
00:00:51,252 --> 00:00:52,719
- Yeah, thank you, Jonah.
23
00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,687
- I'm sorry, Amy,
could you just let me do it?
24
00:00:54,688 --> 00:00:56,418
Do you mind if I try?
Thank you.
25
00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,590
And purchased
at a Cloud 9 store.
26
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,821
- Oh, no.
27
00:00:58,826 --> 00:01:01,656
Evenly portioned pieces
28
00:01:01,662 --> 00:01:04,230
with their genitals preserved
in pickling jars.
29
00:01:04,231 --> 00:01:05,231
- That makes sense.
- Oh.
30
00:01:05,232 --> 00:01:06,366
- We sell pickle jars?
31
00:01:06,367 --> 00:01:07,827
- No, no.
- It's not working.
32
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:10,395
We're gonna have to
drown this out.
33
00:01:10,404 --> 00:01:12,239
Everybody sing, okay?
34
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,511
Come on, what's wrong with you?
35
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,412
Garrett, give me a beat
or something.
36
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:21,414
Anything.
37
00:01:21,415 --> 00:01:22,815
Okay.
38
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,488
Cry it out!
39
00:01:32,259 --> 00:01:33,259
- Cry it out!
40
00:01:38,165 --> 00:01:40,325
- As most of you may have heard,
our company spokesman
41
00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:43,169
has been accused
of some improprieties.
42
00:01:43,170 --> 00:01:44,737
- By improprieties,
you mean killing
43
00:01:44,738 --> 00:01:48,568
Or is there a tax evasion thing
going on as well?
44
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:49,736
- The killing and eating.
45
00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:53,413
I can't speak
to his tax situation.
46
00:01:53,414 --> 00:01:55,414
Anyway, does anybody
have any questions?
47
00:01:55,416 --> 00:01:58,616
- What is the difference between
a zombie and a cannibal?
48
00:01:58,619 --> 00:02:00,519
- Oh, okay, a zombie is undead,
49
00:02:00,521 --> 00:02:03,356
and a cannibal's just, like,
a dude who eats people.
50
00:02:03,357 --> 00:02:06,487
- So I kind of meant
work-related questions.
51
00:02:06,494 --> 00:02:07,494
- But I'm right though?
52
00:02:07,495 --> 00:02:08,485
- He is correct.
53
00:02:08,496 --> 00:02:10,126
- I have
a work-related question.
54
00:02:10,131 --> 00:02:12,561
What security measures are we
taking to avoid revenge crimes?
55
00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:13,866
- Revenge crimes?
56
00:02:13,868 --> 00:02:16,436
- Families of the victims
trying to eat us as payback.
57
00:02:16,437 --> 00:02:17,867
I mean, that's what I would do.
58
00:02:17,872 --> 00:02:20,472
- Okay, let's not rush
to judgment.
59
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,642
These are just allegations.
60
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:24,443
I'm sure he didn't do it.
61
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:25,505
- Wait, Glenn?
62
00:02:25,513 --> 00:02:27,780
Why are you so sure
he didn't do it?
63
00:02:27,781 --> 00:02:32,318
- Because, Amy, I met Kyle at a
corporate conference last year.
64
00:02:32,319 --> 00:02:34,387
We had a great conversation.
65
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,518
He seemed like a good guy.
66
00:02:36,524 --> 00:02:39,392
I guess there's no reason
for a trial.
67
00:02:39,393 --> 00:02:42,862
- I am telling you,
there is no way that good man
68
00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:45,798
could have done
this horrible thing.
69
00:02:45,799 --> 00:02:46,829
Right, Jeff?
70
00:02:48,935 --> 00:02:50,765
- Uh-huh.
71
00:02:59,547 --> 00:03:03,547
- You know, this was creepy
even before he murdered people.
72
00:03:03,551 --> 00:03:05,451
- This paint smells
like wet dog,
73
00:03:05,452 --> 00:03:08,288
and it's gonna take at least
three coats to cover this.
74
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:09,619
This is the worst day ever.
75
00:03:09,623 --> 00:03:11,591
- The worst.
76
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:14,827
- I mean, obviously,
Kyle the Cloud's victims...
77
00:03:14,828 --> 00:03:16,458
- Yeah.
No, no.
78
00:03:16,463 --> 00:03:19,432
- Had a worse day when he ate
their flesh off their bones.
79
00:03:19,433 --> 00:03:21,601
- Terrible day.
That was a terrible day.
80
00:03:21,602 --> 00:03:22,602
Goes without saying.
Yeah.
81
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:24,571
- Yeah.
82
00:03:24,572 --> 00:03:27,640
- Although, at least their
suffering is over, you know?
83
00:03:27,641 --> 00:03:29,576
Ours has just begun.
84
00:03:29,577 --> 00:03:31,377
- Is it insensitive
that I'd rather
85
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,578
be in Kyle the Cloud's basement?
86
00:03:32,580 --> 00:03:33,580
- No.
87
00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:35,211
At least you could read
down there.
88
00:03:35,216 --> 00:03:38,776
- So dark and cool.
89
00:03:38,786 --> 00:03:40,346
- That would be so nice.
90
00:03:42,288 --> 00:03:44,288
- That's my baby sleeping.
91
00:03:44,291 --> 00:03:45,421
- Oh, cool.
- Aww.
92
00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,726
- Sleeping.
93
00:03:46,727 --> 00:03:47,727
So cute.
94
00:03:47,728 --> 00:03:50,296
- Sleeping.
- Like a little angel.
95
00:03:50,297 --> 00:03:51,497
- Sleeping.
96
00:03:51,498 --> 00:03:54,867
Oh. Oh, my gosh,
this next one's kind of funny.
97
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:56,798
Sleeping.
98
00:03:56,804 --> 00:03:59,239
- Okay, guys, guys, guys,
I need everyone's opinion.
99
00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:01,440
Especially you, Garrett,
since your brand is telling it
100
00:04:01,442 --> 00:04:02,442
like it is.
101
00:04:02,443 --> 00:04:03,643
- Oh, thank you for noticing.
102
00:04:03,644 --> 00:04:05,578
- - Did you guys pick up on
any weird tension
103
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,447
between me and Jeff
at that meeting?
104
00:04:07,448 --> 00:04:09,578
'Cause I think he might
be into me.
105
00:04:14,755 --> 00:04:15,845
Oh, I thought you were joking.
106
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:16,856
No.
107
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:17,917
- I am so sorry.
108
00:04:17,925 --> 00:04:19,955
Stop bullying, Sandra.
109
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,560
- Why do you think
he's into you?
110
00:04:22,563 --> 00:04:24,563
- Okay,
the last time he was here,
111
00:04:24,565 --> 00:04:26,665
he came up to me
at the end of the day,
112
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,667
looked me straight in the eyes
and said,
113
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:30,700
"I noticed you."
114
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:34,841
He said, "I noticed you"?
115
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,278
Ooh, Jeff is slutty.
116
00:04:38,679 --> 00:04:41,948
- Okay, it's not what he said,
it's how he said it.
117
00:04:41,949 --> 00:04:42,949
It wasn't like...
118
00:04:42,950 --> 00:04:43,950
"I noticed you."
119
00:04:43,951 --> 00:04:46,819
It was like...
120
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:48,350
"I noticed you."
121
00:04:49,322 --> 00:04:50,390
No, that wasn't it.
122
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:52,021
It was more like...
123
00:04:52,026 --> 00:04:53,956
"I noticed you."
124
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,491
Ah, that sounded Scottish.
125
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,926
Dungeon where the actor would
videotape himself
126
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,032
dismembering and devouring
his victims,
127
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:02,965
often while in cloud costume.
128
00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,537
- Oh, God.
129
00:05:04,538 --> 00:05:06,368
- I've said it once,
I'll say it again:
130
00:05:06,373 --> 00:05:08,441
you are a terrible
judge of character.
131
00:05:08,442 --> 00:05:10,877
Also you have a weak chin
and you can't dance.
132
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,538
Additional items
found on the property
133
00:05:12,546 --> 00:05:14,076
were a coffin filled with hair
134
00:05:14,081 --> 00:05:16,381
and several small bags
of marijuana.
135
00:05:16,383 --> 00:05:18,551
- Wait, they found marijuana?
136
00:05:18,552 --> 00:05:20,386
This is incredible!
137
00:05:20,387 --> 00:05:21,387
- Oh, no!
138
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:22,818
Get that weak chin off me!
139
00:05:22,823 --> 00:05:25,491
- They found marijuana!
140
00:05:25,492 --> 00:05:28,428
He was high!
141
00:05:28,429 --> 00:05:30,659
- I hate him.
142
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:31,704
So much.
143
00:05:33,533 --> 00:05:35,368
- We definitely need smocks
144
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,069
- Hello, Clarice.
145
00:05:38,072 --> 00:05:40,572
Oh, gross, stop.
146
00:05:41,908 --> 00:05:45,378
- It's crazy how much Kyle stuff
we have to throw away.
147
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:48,509
Corporate really put their money
on "not a cannibal."
148
00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,845
- Oh, God, they used to make us
wear this suit
149
00:05:50,851 --> 00:05:51,981
to hand out flyers.
150
00:05:53,086 --> 00:05:54,446
- Dare you to put it on.
151
00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,685
- No.
No, thank you.
152
00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:58,089
You don't want to put on
the cloud suit
153
00:05:58,092 --> 00:06:00,426
because you've already got
a big chicken suit on
154
00:06:00,427 --> 00:06:02,687
'cause you're a big chicken.
155
00:06:02,696 --> 00:06:04,056
- Oh, my God.
156
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,500
Is that supposed to pressure me
into putting the suit on?
157
00:06:07,601 --> 00:06:08,631
You're right, you're right.
158
00:06:08,635 --> 00:06:10,495
Doing awesome things
is overrated.
159
00:06:10,504 --> 00:06:12,404
Just go back to painting.
160
00:06:14,108 --> 00:06:16,138
Well, grab an umbrella
161
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:19,011
'cause there's a cloud
moving in.
162
00:06:19,012 --> 00:06:20,012
Psssh.
163
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:21,147
- What does that even mean?
164
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,478
Oh, my God!
You're doing it.
165
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,750
Okay, sorry.
Say your cool line again.
166
00:06:23,751 --> 00:06:24,917
Say it.
- Well, grab...
167
00:06:24,918 --> 00:06:25,978
No, we're past it.
168
00:06:32,493 --> 00:06:37,630
Today, of all days,
she's dressed like the killer.
169
00:06:37,631 --> 00:06:39,061
Why would she do that?
170
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:40,626
Hi.
171
00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:41,968
- Oh.
172
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,499
- Oh, yeah, that's a good idea.
173
00:06:43,504 --> 00:06:45,772
I wouldn't let my kids
touch that.
174
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,007
- It says on your website
that all your rooms
175
00:06:48,008 --> 00:06:49,038
have Animal Planet.
176
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:50,109
- Hey there.
177
00:06:50,110 --> 00:06:52,678
I noticed you were on the phone.
178
00:06:52,679 --> 00:06:54,647
- No, it's not life or death,
it's just, you know,
179
00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:56,148
at the end of a hard day,
sometimes you want to come home
180
00:06:56,150 --> 00:06:58,550
and watch some monkeys swinging
around on the trees.
181
00:06:58,552 --> 00:06:59,752
- I'm just gonna come
back later.
182
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,522
- I'm sorry, could you hold on
one second please?
183
00:07:02,523 --> 00:07:04,023
Hey.
184
00:07:04,024 --> 00:07:05,091
There's something
I'd like to ask you,
185
00:07:05,092 --> 00:07:07,492
but I feel
a little weird about it.
186
00:07:07,494 --> 00:07:08,661
- Oh, no.
Please, please.
187
00:07:08,662 --> 00:07:10,797
- Yeah?
- Yep, ask away.
188
00:07:10,798 --> 00:07:13,666
- Somebody vomited
in the ladies room,
189
00:07:13,667 --> 00:07:15,927
multiple stalls.
190
00:07:15,936 --> 00:07:18,136
Would you mind?
191
00:07:18,138 --> 00:07:19,638
- Of course.
192
00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:21,640
- Great, thank you.
Thanks.
193
00:07:21,642 --> 00:07:22,942
I appreciate that.
194
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:24,943
Hi, yes, while I have you
on the phone,
195
00:07:24,945 --> 00:07:27,045
I wanted to ask you
why the curtains were gone
196
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,477
when I got back last night.
197
00:07:29,483 --> 00:07:31,050
I'd prefer to have them.
198
00:07:31,051 --> 00:07:32,881
- Just louder.
- I'm hungry.
199
00:07:32,886 --> 00:07:33,886
What is wrong with her?
200
00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,217
I'm hungry.
201
00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:36,689
- Amy.
202
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:39,090
What are you wearing that for?
203
00:07:39,092 --> 00:07:40,092
- Be... Jonah...
204
00:07:40,093 --> 00:07:41,493
- Ah, buh, buh, buh, buh.
205
00:07:42,895 --> 00:07:45,495
- I'm dressed in this costume
to show my support
206
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,067
for the cannibal lifestyle.
207
00:07:48,469 --> 00:07:49,569
- Oh.
208
00:07:49,570 --> 00:07:51,237
Oh, well, as it turns out,
209
00:07:51,238 --> 00:07:53,568
Kyle was not a cannibal.
210
00:07:53,574 --> 00:07:55,708
He was only killing
and eating people
211
00:07:55,709 --> 00:07:58,209
because he was high
on marijuana.
212
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,247
What?
213
00:08:02,249 --> 00:08:04,949
- It's just that I don't think
that marijuana turns people
214
00:08:04,952 --> 00:08:06,486
into murderers.
215
00:08:06,487 --> 00:08:10,756
- Otherwise we'd literally
be surrounded by killers.
216
00:08:10,757 --> 00:08:14,227
- You don't think people in
this store do marijuana, do you?
217
00:08:15,728 --> 00:08:16,858
- I mean...
218
00:08:16,864 --> 00:08:18,864
- Uh, probably.
219
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:21,066
- Well, how... how many of them?
220
00:08:21,068 --> 00:08:22,268
- Like...
221
00:08:24,204 --> 00:08:25,271
Half.
222
00:08:25,272 --> 00:08:26,839
- Half?
223
00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:29,640
Wait, half do, or half don't?
224
00:08:30,977 --> 00:08:32,577
It's both.
225
00:08:32,579 --> 00:08:33,809
Both?
226
00:08:33,814 --> 00:08:36,949
- Okay, so, tummy time
is literally just a baby
227
00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:38,750
spending time on its tummy.
228
00:08:38,752 --> 00:08:39,819
Hmm.
229
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:42,620
- Wait, she's gonna turn
her head...
230
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,257
now.
231
00:08:44,258 --> 00:08:46,626
Nope, now.
232
00:08:46,627 --> 00:08:48,257
Nope, now.
233
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:49,262
Nope.
234
00:08:49,263 --> 00:08:53,099
Oh, sorry, guys, bad timing.
235
00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:57,036
Hi, Bo, I was just showing them
the tummy time video.
236
00:08:57,037 --> 00:09:00,306
No, not that one, the good one.
237
00:09:00,307 --> 00:09:01,537
- This has got to stop.
238
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:02,772
- Thank you.
239
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,836
- She is breaking
an unspoken social contract.
240
00:09:04,845 --> 00:09:06,845
You show one photo.
241
00:09:06,847 --> 00:09:08,077
One.
242
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,616
And we all say it's
the cutest baby we ever seen
243
00:09:10,617 --> 00:09:12,747
even if it's creepy,
which it is,
244
00:09:12,753 --> 00:09:14,253
because it's
a shrunken-down human,
245
00:09:14,254 --> 00:09:16,022
and then we all move on
with our lives.
246
00:09:16,023 --> 00:09:18,057
- I mean, I have a ton
of photos of my dogs,
247
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,688
but no one wants to see those.
248
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,261
Right?
249
00:09:22,262 --> 00:09:23,262
- Right.
250
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:24,663
- Yeah.
251
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,545
Not even the one where
they're dressed as Ewoks.
252
00:09:28,834 --> 00:09:30,236
- All right, you know
I got to see that.
253
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:31,637
Okay, come on now.
254
00:09:31,638 --> 00:09:33,238
Oh, no.
255
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:34,270
Yeah.
256
00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:35,874
Little Ewok dog.
257
00:09:35,876 --> 00:09:37,076
You stealing a speeder?
258
00:09:37,077 --> 00:09:38,977
You can't drive a speeder,
Ewok dog.
259
00:09:40,714 --> 00:09:42,081
- Hey, Cody.
260
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,112
- Hey.
261
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:45,616
- Hey.
Just ignore me.
262
00:09:55,661 --> 00:09:58,931
Just wanted to tell you
I value you.
263
00:10:00,801 --> 00:10:01,831
- Thank you.
264
00:10:01,835 --> 00:10:03,735
I appreciate that.
265
00:10:03,737 --> 00:10:05,897
I'm going to go over there,
okay?
266
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,837
- If you're smelling the
workers, you gotta smell Elias.
267
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,306
On Thursdays he smells like ham.
268
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:17,145
It's hilarious.
269
00:10:17,150 --> 00:10:19,850
- Dina, do you think that
marijuana could've had anything
270
00:10:19,853 --> 00:10:21,320
to do with what Kyle did?
271
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,688
- That's just about
the stupidest thing
272
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:23,689
you've ever said.
273
00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,320
Fine.
274
00:10:25,325 --> 00:10:27,155
I'm just wondering
if I have to start
275
00:10:27,160 --> 00:10:29,760
drug testing the employees.
276
00:10:29,763 --> 00:10:32,231
- But you always say that
you don't want to do that.
277
00:10:32,232 --> 00:10:36,068
- I know, but if the alternative
is someone in this store
278
00:10:36,069 --> 00:10:37,169
getting eaten.
279
00:10:37,170 --> 00:10:39,800
- Oh, wow.
Ooh.
280
00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:43,106
Well, to be safe, I mean,
I could do a surprise
281
00:10:43,110 --> 00:10:45,640
comprehensive drug test,
but that's your call.
282
00:10:45,646 --> 00:10:46,746
I mean, I could go either way.
283
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,377
Do it, don't do it.
284
00:10:48,382 --> 00:10:51,017
I mean, if I had to decide,
I guess I'm leaning towards
285
00:10:51,018 --> 00:10:52,718
do it.
286
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:56,817
- Yes.
Okay.
287
00:10:56,823 --> 00:10:57,890
Go for it.
288
00:10:57,891 --> 00:10:58,891
- It's up to you.
289
00:11:07,401 --> 00:11:09,831
I'm coming for you, Tommy Chong.
290
00:11:09,836 --> 00:11:10,996
I'm coming for you.
291
00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:18,411
- How much longer do I have?
292
00:11:18,412 --> 00:11:19,779
- Three minutes.
293
00:11:19,780 --> 00:11:22,848
You can just give up.
294
00:11:22,849 --> 00:11:23,979
- Nope!
295
00:11:23,984 --> 00:11:27,054
I take not being a chicken
very seriously.
296
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:32,419
I'm doing a dare.
297
00:11:32,426 --> 00:11:34,326
I'm winning.
298
00:11:34,327 --> 00:11:37,096
- The test will detect any drugs
in your system.
299
00:11:37,097 --> 00:11:39,457
We're talking marijuana,
cocaine, heroin,
300
00:11:39,466 --> 00:11:40,796
methamphetamines.
301
00:11:40,801 --> 00:11:42,071
- What about power pellets?
302
00:11:44,804 --> 00:11:46,104
- I don't see that.
What are they?
303
00:11:46,106 --> 00:11:47,866
- Oh, you just take
some big boppers,
304
00:11:47,874 --> 00:11:50,042
you cut in some fetty wap,
you put a little disco shake
305
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:53,243
on there, and then you roll that
up in some Doc McStuffins.
306
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:54,876
Smoke it.
307
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,381
Get real high.
308
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:59,083
- All right, we're gonna be
testing for everything, okay?
309
00:11:59,086 --> 00:12:02,016
- Excuse me, I just remembered
I have to leave early.
310
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:05,291
I have a thing at the place.
- What place?
311
00:12:05,292 --> 00:12:07,892
- That place. You know, the one
we talked about earlier.
312
00:12:07,894 --> 00:12:09,194
- You talked to me about it?
313
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:12,826
- Yeah, I filled out
an application and Brett saw it,
314
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,200
he said it's cool, so...
315
00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,868
- You spoke to Brett about it?
316
00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,969
Okay, nobody is leaving until
I get three ounces of yellow,
317
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:18,971
all right?
318
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:25,077
- Okay, look, everyone, Dina has
my full support on this.
319
00:12:25,078 --> 00:12:27,278
Okay, this is
for your protection.
320
00:12:27,280 --> 00:12:29,110
- Look, people, if you haven't
done any drugs
321
00:12:29,116 --> 00:12:31,916
in the last 72 hours,
you have nothing to worry about.
322
00:12:31,918 --> 00:12:34,386
- What about way too much wine?
323
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:36,387
I'm so bad.
324
00:12:36,389 --> 00:12:37,957
- Justine,
you're not an alcoholic.
325
00:12:37,958 --> 00:12:39,158
Stop bragging.
326
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,190
- Attention Cloud 9 shoppers:
327
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,856
we hope you're having
a lovely day.
328
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,495
If you have any questions
or concerns,
329
00:12:47,501 --> 00:12:50,536
please find our lead salesman,
Charles.
330
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:51,967
- Is there anything
we should know about him?
331
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,872
He is in charge.
332
00:13:27,540 --> 00:13:29,270
- Hey, Mateo.
- Hey.
333
00:13:29,276 --> 00:13:31,376
- Hi.
334
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,308
Do you think I could
have your number?
335
00:13:33,313 --> 00:13:34,313
- My number?
336
00:13:35,315 --> 00:13:38,445
Sure, you can have my number.
337
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,951
It's 314...
- Mm-hmm.
338
00:13:40,954 --> 00:13:42,354
- 982.
- Got it.
339
00:13:42,355 --> 00:13:47,425
Employee number 314982 is
getting a letter of commendation
340
00:13:47,427 --> 00:13:49,227
in his file.
341
00:13:49,229 --> 00:13:51,897
- Oh.
342
00:13:51,898 --> 00:13:53,258
- For cleaning up the vomit.
343
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:54,896
- Yeah.
344
00:13:54,901 --> 00:13:57,501
- You are a good vomit mopper.
345
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,365
- Damn.
346
00:14:01,374 --> 00:14:03,610
It is getting steamy in here.
347
00:14:05,612 --> 00:14:08,412
- I'm just saying,
usually one person dares
348
00:14:08,415 --> 00:14:10,215
and then the other person
has to do it.
349
00:14:10,217 --> 00:14:11,417
You... you understand that, right?
350
00:14:11,418 --> 00:14:12,918
- Yep, I get it.
351
00:14:12,919 --> 00:14:16,619
- Oh, listen, if you want to do
this thing alone, by all means.
352
00:14:16,623 --> 00:14:17,623
- Nope.
- I have no problem...
353
00:14:17,624 --> 00:14:18,959
- All right, hold on.
354
00:14:20,393 --> 00:14:21,393
- Sorry!
Sorry!
355
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:22,494
Move out of the way!
356
00:14:22,495 --> 00:14:24,225
- Hands up!
- Okay, okay!
357
00:14:29,301 --> 00:14:30,636
- Hey, guys.
358
00:14:30,637 --> 00:14:32,197
- Hey, Jeff.
- Hi, Jeff.
359
00:14:33,305 --> 00:14:34,365
- What are you doing?
360
00:14:36,342 --> 00:14:37,376
- Product testing.
361
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,237
- Product testing.
362
00:14:39,246 --> 00:14:40,576
- Okay.
363
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:43,511
- Bye, Jeff.
364
00:14:45,618 --> 00:14:46,648
That was awesome.
365
00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,920
- Yep.
One more time?
366
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,388
- Yeah.
- How do we get back there?
367
00:14:49,389 --> 00:14:50,656
- Let's... I don't know.
368
00:14:50,657 --> 00:14:52,887
Shimmy over?
369
00:14:52,893 --> 00:14:55,593
- Is it moving?
- We're getting it.
370
00:14:55,595 --> 00:14:58,355
- Hey, how's it going?
- Great.
371
00:14:58,365 --> 00:15:00,965
We get the results tomorrow and
I'll call everyone who's fired.
372
00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,427
Actually, I'll just call those
who aren't fired.
373
00:15:02,435 --> 00:15:04,135
It'll save me some time.
374
00:15:04,137 --> 00:15:07,406
- No, I don't want to
start firing people.
375
00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:10,937
Okay, look, maybe we shouldn't
be doing this.
376
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:12,935
- Look, I get it.
377
00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:14,246
You love these people.
378
00:15:14,247 --> 00:15:16,407
I do too, but we told them there
would be a urine test,
379
00:15:16,416 --> 00:15:20,116
- I... I don't believe
that's true.
380
00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,550
- It is true.
381
00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,554
They'll think we're weak
and they'll think we're liars.
382
00:15:23,556 --> 00:15:25,356
Is that who we are?
383
00:15:25,358 --> 00:15:26,688
Huh?
384
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:28,193
Are we weak liars?
385
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:30,562
- No, we're strong
truth tellers.
386
00:15:30,563 --> 00:15:32,431
- Heck yeah we are.
Pep up.
387
00:15:32,432 --> 00:15:34,000
The lab comes at 5:00.
388
00:15:36,036 --> 00:15:38,666
You know that's human urine,
right?
389
00:15:38,672 --> 00:15:40,272
Suit yourself.
390
00:15:42,174 --> 00:15:44,110
- When she's hungry,
it's like...
391
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:48,178
But when she's tired,
it's like...
392
00:15:49,683 --> 00:15:51,050
And when she's...
393
00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:53,221
- Just shut up about the baby!
394
00:15:54,219 --> 00:15:55,619
- Oh.
395
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:57,690
Um, okay.
396
00:15:57,691 --> 00:15:59,058
- What?
397
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,959
- What, was I talking too much
about the baby?
398
00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:02,091
I can stop.
399
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:05,230
- Oh.
400
00:16:05,231 --> 00:16:07,066
- Great.
Well, thank you.
401
00:16:07,067 --> 00:16:09,997
I mean, it's not that we don't
want to hear about your baby,
402
00:16:10,003 --> 00:16:12,503
it's just that it's been a lot.
403
00:16:12,505 --> 00:16:13,965
- No, I understand.
404
00:16:13,974 --> 00:16:16,508
It's like you
with your sneakers.
405
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:17,576
- What you mean?
406
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,237
- Oh, you know,
how you're always like,
407
00:16:19,245 --> 00:16:22,105
"Oh, yeah, I just ordered
my pair of retro Jordans
408
00:16:22,115 --> 00:16:23,575
that are coming in two days."
409
00:16:23,583 --> 00:16:25,518
- "You can only get these kicks
in Japan."
410
00:16:29,289 --> 00:16:32,659
Really seeing everybody's
true colors today.
411
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:34,660
Real cool.
412
00:16:42,301 --> 00:16:44,436
- Well, I'm taking off.
413
00:16:44,437 --> 00:16:45,997
- All right, have a good night.
414
00:16:46,006 --> 00:16:47,566
- I gotta stop by
the hotel first.
415
00:16:47,574 --> 00:16:51,310
I guess there was some kind of
a rodent/bedbug fire.
416
00:16:51,311 --> 00:16:53,746
So that's...
417
00:16:53,747 --> 00:16:57,147
And after that, though, I was
gonna hit the new Italian place.
418
00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:58,150
Are you busy?
419
00:16:58,151 --> 00:16:59,518
- Nope.
420
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:02,488
In aisle six?
421
00:17:02,489 --> 00:17:05,089
- No, I was just wondering
if you wanted to get dinner.
422
00:17:06,225 --> 00:17:08,725
- You mean, like,
pick it up for you?
423
00:17:08,728 --> 00:17:11,797
- No, I mean, like,
take you out to dinner
424
00:17:11,798 --> 00:17:13,766
to the Italian place
that I just mentioned.
425
00:17:13,767 --> 00:17:16,567
Have you never been asked out
on a date before?
426
00:17:16,569 --> 00:17:18,169
- You're asking me out
on a date?
427
00:17:18,171 --> 00:17:19,171
- Uh-huh.
428
00:17:19,172 --> 00:17:21,140
I knew it!
429
00:17:21,141 --> 00:17:22,461
Oh, I thought,
but then Garrett...
430
00:17:23,376 --> 00:17:25,376
Ha!
I knew it.
431
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,246
- So is that a yes?
432
00:17:27,247 --> 00:17:29,377
- Oh.
433
00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,417
I haven't even
really thought about that.
434
00:17:31,418 --> 00:17:34,186
I usually don't date white guys,
but you know what?
435
00:17:34,187 --> 00:17:35,287
Sure, why not?
436
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,518
- Oh, my God,
I cannot wait to tell Garrett
437
00:17:38,525 --> 00:17:39,655
that I was right about this.
438
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,226
I'm gonna rub it
in his stupid face.
439
00:17:41,227 --> 00:17:43,457
- Well, you see, this is where
it gets a little touchy.
440
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,732
Just as a manager, I shouldn't
really be dating any employees,
441
00:17:46,733 --> 00:17:50,069
so we would have to keep this
between us
442
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,237
if that's okay.
443
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:53,398
- Yeah.
444
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:54,436
You're the boss.
445
00:17:59,311 --> 00:18:01,080
I should really get on
that dead pigeon.
446
00:18:01,081 --> 00:18:02,281
- Yes, I didn't want to ask
447
00:18:02,282 --> 00:18:03,852
'cause I didn't want
to ruin the moment.
448
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,086
- Hey, Glenn.
- Mm.
449
00:18:07,087 --> 00:18:08,087
- What's going on?
450
00:18:08,088 --> 00:18:11,118
- Oh, I'm just having a bad day.
451
00:18:11,124 --> 00:18:12,257
- You want to talk about it?
452
00:18:12,258 --> 00:18:14,288
I'm happy to be your blender.
453
00:18:14,294 --> 00:18:15,527
- My blender?
454
00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,628
- Yeah, you know, like,
you give me your thoughts
455
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,431
and your feelings, and I'll mix
'em up and give you back
456
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:23,602
something real good.
457
00:18:23,603 --> 00:18:26,171
- Okay, I'm not sure I made
the right decision
458
00:18:26,172 --> 00:18:28,507
about this whole
drug testing thing.
459
00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,476
- Yeah, it's a bit extreme.
460
00:18:30,477 --> 00:18:35,377
Sort of like a... it's like
a watermelon-sized reaction.
461
00:18:35,381 --> 00:18:36,481
- Watermelon.
- Yeah.
462
00:18:36,483 --> 00:18:39,651
- It's just,
I was so wrong about Kyle.
463
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:42,387
It makes me question how much
I really know the people
464
00:18:42,388 --> 00:18:43,588
around here.
465
00:18:43,590 --> 00:18:45,390
- Sure, you don't know
everything about everyone,
466
00:18:45,391 --> 00:18:47,159
but you know
the important stuff.
467
00:18:47,160 --> 00:18:50,660
Like, you know that Garrett
is a can of soup.
468
00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:53,198
You know,
he's hard on the outside,
469
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:56,268
but warm and soft on the inside.
470
00:18:56,269 --> 00:18:57,599
- He is a can of soup.
471
00:18:57,604 --> 00:18:58,670
- Yeah.
472
00:18:58,671 --> 00:19:02,441
And Cheyenne is...
Cheyenne's a yoga mat.
473
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:05,142
She's colorful and she's fun,
474
00:19:05,145 --> 00:19:07,775
and... then also
she's, like, a little thick.
475
00:19:07,780 --> 00:19:08,847
- Yeah.
Ah.
476
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:09,848
- Yeah, yeah.
477
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:14,749
And... and Jonah
is an alarm clock.
478
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:17,823
He's just, like,
so annoying in the morning.
479
00:19:17,824 --> 00:19:19,458
- So annoying.
480
00:19:19,459 --> 00:19:20,559
- Yeah, you just kinda wanna...
481
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:23,860
- I'd like to throw him
at the wall some days.
482
00:19:23,863 --> 00:19:25,163
- Right?
483
00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,465
And you're the golf club.
You know?
484
00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:31,698
You're... you're the one that...
485
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,740
You're the one that...
486
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:37,441
- That drives the worker balls
487
00:19:37,443 --> 00:19:40,846
soaring towards
their full potential.
488
00:19:40,847 --> 00:19:42,507
- Yes.
- Yeah!
489
00:19:42,515 --> 00:19:43,845
- Exactly.
490
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:45,918
- Thank you, Amy.
491
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,786
You've really got a way
with words.
492
00:19:47,787 --> 00:19:53,487
- Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm gonna go tee off on someone.
493
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,298
- Dina, cancel the tests.
494
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:05,771
The golf club is here.
495
00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,206
- What are you talking about?
496
00:20:07,207 --> 00:20:09,737
- I'll tell you
what I'm talking about.
497
00:20:09,742 --> 00:20:11,577
We...
- Whoa, whoa!
498
00:20:11,578 --> 00:20:12,738
- Don't...
499
00:20:12,745 --> 00:20:14,445
need...
500
00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:15,577
these...
501
00:20:15,582 --> 00:20:17,322
anymore.
502
00:20:19,585 --> 00:20:21,445
- My coffee cup's in there.
503
00:20:23,589 --> 00:20:25,219
- Yes, it is.
504
00:20:30,263 --> 00:20:31,733
Okay, Amy.
505
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,295
Hey.
506
00:20:34,300 --> 00:20:35,300
How's it going?
507
00:20:35,301 --> 00:20:36,568
Good to see you.
Good afternoon.
508
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:38,369
It is cold in here, isn't it?
509
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:39,601
They crank that A/C up.
510
00:20:39,606 --> 00:20:40,766
I need a drink myself.
511
00:20:40,773 --> 00:20:41,773
Hi.
512
00:20:41,774 --> 00:20:42,774
Good afternoon.
513
00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:43,765
Hey.
514
00:20:43,776 --> 00:20:45,336
Be careful what you wish for
515
00:20:45,345 --> 00:20:47,675
'cause you just might a-get it.
516
00:20:48,681 --> 00:20:50,649
- Oh, hey, man.
517
00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:51,980
- Oh, hey, Adam.
518
00:20:51,985 --> 00:20:54,815
What... how's it... what's...
What's going on, man?
519
00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,451
- Adam just came to pick me up.
520
00:20:56,456 --> 00:20:57,456
- Yeah, me too.
521
00:20:57,457 --> 00:20:59,357
I mean, I'm going as well.
522
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:00,989
It's the end of the day.
523
00:21:00,994 --> 00:21:02,461
I'm tired myself.
524
00:21:02,462 --> 00:21:03,562
Yeah, I get it.
525
00:21:03,563 --> 00:21:05,333
I was just... just coming
to say good-bye.
526
00:21:07,499 --> 00:21:08,929
I'll catch you on the flip side,
all right, bro?
527
00:21:08,935 --> 00:21:09,925
It's good to see you.
528
00:21:09,936 --> 00:21:10,966
- Okay.
529
00:21:14,506 --> 00:21:15,736
- So...
530
00:21:15,742 --> 00:21:17,342
what was that about?
531
00:21:17,343 --> 00:21:18,443
- Um...
532
00:21:18,444 --> 00:21:19,444
nothing.
533
00:21:19,445 --> 00:21:20,945
He's just weird.
36352
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