All language subtitles for Superstore.S00E01.Olympics.720p.WEB.x264-[MULVAcoded]

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic Download
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal) Download
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,038 --> 00:00:06,406 - Housewares! 2 00:00:06,407 --> 00:00:09,307 Baby and toddler! 3 00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:11,077 Pet food! 4 00:00:11,078 --> 00:00:12,378 - Okay, I get... I get that Cloud 9 5 00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,310 is an Olympic sponsor, but do all the stores do 6 00:00:14,315 --> 00:00:15,775 an actual Olympic opening ceremony? 7 00:00:15,783 --> 00:00:17,117 - Nope, just us. 8 00:00:17,118 --> 00:00:19,278 Glenn has more company pride than most. 9 00:00:19,286 --> 00:00:22,046 - I feel like I've been transported to Rio. 10 00:00:22,056 --> 00:00:24,186 - Pharmacy! 11 00:00:24,191 --> 00:00:27,091 Toys and sporting goods! 12 00:00:27,094 --> 00:00:29,094 - Is the life jacket really necessary? 13 00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,156 - Don't talk to me. 14 00:00:30,164 --> 00:00:32,198 Don't talk to me. Don't talk to me. 15 00:00:32,199 --> 00:00:35,168 - Our assistant manager, Dina! - I'm not a part of this. 16 00:00:35,169 --> 00:00:37,437 I just happen to be walking in the same direction. 17 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:41,268 - And now, to light the Cloud 9 Olympic cauldron 18 00:00:41,275 --> 00:00:47,075 is store 1217's oldest living employee. 19 00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:54,152 - There she is! An American hero! 20 00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,655 - Glenn, you did not tell me you'd be using actual fire. 21 00:00:56,657 --> 00:00:58,257 - Yes, I did. 22 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,259 I put it in my column in the newsletter. 23 00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,491 - Nobody reads "Glenn's Corner," okay? 24 00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:03,125 - Did you read my thing on gluten? 25 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:04,360 - Absolutely not. - Yeah, well, it was good. 26 00:01:04,365 --> 00:01:06,095 - This is a hazard. - I got a lot of... 27 00:01:06,100 --> 00:01:07,730 How is that a hazard? - No, the fire, not the... 28 00:01:07,735 --> 00:01:09,165 - How is that a hazard? 29 00:01:09,170 --> 00:01:10,770 - Uh, Glenn. - No, Myrtle! 30 00:01:10,771 --> 00:01:13,071 That's not the cauldron! 31 00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:15,542 - Oh. 32 00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:19,283 - It's okay, it's just a little baby fire! 33 00:01:22,516 --> 00:01:24,146 All right, okay, I've got this! 34 00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:25,481 I've got this! 35 00:01:25,486 --> 00:01:29,756 Everybody evacuate the store! - No! Nobody run! 36 00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:31,357 We have an elected store fire marshal 37 00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,726 who will lead us from the building safely. 38 00:01:33,727 --> 00:01:36,357 Elias! Where is Elias? 39 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:39,363 - You are strong. Women love you. People... 40 00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:45,469 - Um, I just came here to return these. 41 00:01:45,473 --> 00:01:46,473 - Do you have your receipt? - I do. 42 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:48,474 - Okay. 43 00:01:55,483 --> 00:01:57,883 - I'm feeling really patriotic right now? 44 00:01:57,885 --> 00:02:00,385 - Well, we are breathing in a lot of smoke. 45 00:02:07,695 --> 00:02:10,895 - All right, it's been an exciting 17 days 46 00:02:10,898 --> 00:02:12,798 of our Olympic promotion. 47 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,130 A couple of hiccups there at the beginning, 48 00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,736 what with the inferno. 49 00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:20,237 Anyway, uh, we're not gonna have any accidents today 50 00:02:20,241 --> 00:02:22,408 during my closing ceremony. 51 00:02:22,409 --> 00:02:24,777 - Oh, no. Absolutely not. Not happening. 52 00:02:24,778 --> 00:02:26,678 No, your ceremony was not only reckless, 53 00:02:26,680 --> 00:02:28,210 it was lame, and that's worse. 54 00:02:28,215 --> 00:02:30,815 - Like you could do better. - If I gave a crap. 55 00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,618 - Well, crap away, lady. 56 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,287 - Ugh. - Game on. 57 00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:36,288 I am gonna close that ceremony so hard. 58 00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,220 - I wish someone would close you so hard. 59 00:02:38,225 --> 00:02:40,385 - Oh, really? I'd just open myself right back up again. 60 00:02:40,394 --> 00:02:42,428 - Excuse me, do the rest of us need to be here? 61 00:02:42,429 --> 00:02:43,759 - Yeah, uh, sorry, other stuff. 62 00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:47,567 Okay. Organic apples are on sale today. 63 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:48,798 Make sure the customers know, 64 00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,471 and also, uh, Olympian Missy Jones 65 00:02:51,472 --> 00:02:53,706 is appearing in-store. 66 00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,767 - Wait, Missy Jones? 67 00:02:55,776 --> 00:02:58,836 The gold medal-winning gymnast Missy Jones? 68 00:02:58,846 --> 00:03:00,346 Seriously? 69 00:03:00,347 --> 00:03:02,647 - I used to do gymnastics when I was little. 70 00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:04,780 It wasn't at the Olympics, though. 71 00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:06,885 It was at Bev's Tumble Palace. 72 00:03:06,887 --> 00:03:08,617 - Mateo, what's that on your vest? 73 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:11,391 - Oh! Uh, it's the Filipino flag. 74 00:03:11,392 --> 00:03:13,726 I just thought I'd support my home country for the Olympics. 75 00:03:13,727 --> 00:03:15,357 Pinoy Pride! 76 00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,762 - Okay, that's your choice, I guess. 77 00:03:17,765 --> 00:03:19,495 I just thought that, during the Olympics, 78 00:03:19,500 --> 00:03:22,769 it'd be fun to pretend that we're all American. 79 00:03:22,770 --> 00:03:25,438 Even you, Sandra. - I'm from Hawaii. 80 00:03:25,439 --> 00:03:26,869 - Not today, you're not! 81 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,676 - I do love America, but the Philippines is also great. 82 00:03:29,677 --> 00:03:31,807 - Yeah, of course, absolutely. 83 00:03:31,812 --> 00:03:34,412 Just that, technically, America's number one. 84 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,875 - Well, Glenn, what do you mean, "technically"? 85 00:03:36,884 --> 00:03:38,318 - Just as a fact. 86 00:03:38,319 --> 00:03:40,549 That's the saying... "America's number one." 87 00:03:40,554 --> 00:03:43,523 - Well, but other countries believe that they're number one. 88 00:03:43,524 --> 00:03:46,993 - But America is number one. 89 00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,728 'Cause it's first in the world. 90 00:03:48,729 --> 00:03:50,629 - That's an airtight argument, though. 91 00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:52,298 - Well, uh, first in the world in what? 92 00:03:52,299 --> 00:03:53,466 - Being the best. 93 00:03:53,467 --> 00:03:54,997 - At? 94 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,736 - Being number one. 95 00:03:56,737 --> 00:03:59,637 Of... countries... 96 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:01,940 And planets. 97 00:04:10,683 --> 00:04:12,819 Just talk to her. 98 00:04:12,820 --> 00:04:13,950 - Yeah, I'm going to. 99 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,021 She's just busy, and I don't want to... 100 00:04:15,022 --> 00:04:16,589 - Hey, Missy. - Dina, no. 101 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,420 - Hi. Dina Fawkes, assistant manager. 102 00:04:19,426 --> 00:04:20,886 - Hi, I'm Amy. 103 00:04:20,894 --> 00:04:23,496 I am a big fan. - I'm not. 104 00:04:23,497 --> 00:04:25,527 No offense, I'm just not impressed by celebrities, 105 00:04:25,532 --> 00:04:27,267 but I do have an Olympics related question. 106 00:04:27,268 --> 00:04:28,928 - Great. Maybe I can answer. 107 00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,836 - Is it true that the Olympic Village is basically 108 00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,698 just a three-week-long Slammerama? 109 00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:36,876 - Uh, I don't think I know how to answer that. 110 00:04:36,877 --> 00:04:37,907 - All the best bodies in the world. 111 00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,911 All those synthetic fabrics. 112 00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:43,449 Nobody speaks the same language, so everything means yes. 113 00:04:43,450 --> 00:04:45,918 I'm gonna name some Olympians, and you tell me if you've... 114 00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:48,749 Mm-mm. 115 00:04:48,756 --> 00:04:52,416 Honestly, I think we were all just there to compete. 116 00:04:52,426 --> 00:04:54,526 - I get it. I got to buy the book. 117 00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:56,458 Okay. 118 00:04:56,463 --> 00:04:59,363 - I'm sorry, I'm just... I'm not comfortable talking about 119 00:04:59,366 --> 00:05:01,066 that part of my life. 120 00:05:01,068 --> 00:05:02,568 - Oh, no, no, no. 121 00:05:02,569 --> 00:05:04,737 I'm not... I had your poster on my wall 122 00:05:04,738 --> 00:05:07,668 when I was a kid, and, um, I dressed my Barbie like you, 123 00:05:07,675 --> 00:05:09,805 and my brother cut it in half, but it wasn't personal. 124 00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:11,640 It was... he was just... But he's fine now. 125 00:05:11,645 --> 00:05:13,645 - Amy, right? 126 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:16,447 - Yeah. - Take a breath. 127 00:05:18,886 --> 00:05:23,516 You are the best in the world 128 00:05:23,524 --> 00:05:26,392 at being you. 129 00:05:26,393 --> 00:05:27,927 - Thank you. - Yeah. 130 00:05:27,928 --> 00:05:29,896 - That's amazing. - Yeah. 131 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:31,357 - Your eyes are like lasers. 132 00:05:31,365 --> 00:05:32,795 - I know. 133 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,367 - I'm gonna start by naming the weight lifters. 134 00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,398 - No. - Milen Dobrev. 135 00:05:35,402 --> 00:05:36,602 - This is not... - Pyrros Dimas. 136 00:05:36,603 --> 00:05:37,803 - Appropriate. - Gleb Pisarevskiy. 137 00:05:37,805 --> 00:05:39,735 - Okay. - Gleb? 138 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:41,870 No way. 139 00:05:41,875 --> 00:05:43,835 Lucky. 140 00:05:45,878 --> 00:05:50,616 - Oh, I just love this coffeemaker. 141 00:05:50,617 --> 00:05:52,747 It's the best one we sell. 142 00:05:52,753 --> 00:05:54,453 Look at that. 143 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:57,415 Made in the USA. 144 00:05:57,424 --> 00:05:59,392 - Yep. Uh-huh. 145 00:05:59,393 --> 00:06:00,860 I see that. 146 00:06:00,861 --> 00:06:03,461 - You know what I was just thinking about just now? 147 00:06:03,464 --> 00:06:06,699 How the United States has three of the world's 148 00:06:06,700 --> 00:06:09,736 longest rivers and the Grand Canyon 149 00:06:09,737 --> 00:06:12,667 in northwestern Arizona. 150 00:06:12,673 --> 00:06:15,843 It's a beautiful country. 151 00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,786 - She says stuff that should sound cheesy, 152 00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:37,655 but, coming out of her mouth, it's, like, magical. 153 00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:38,864 They say people shouldn't meet their heroes, 154 00:06:38,866 --> 00:06:40,526 but I'm really glad I did. 155 00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,802 - I once paid $200 to have lunch with Terry Gross... 156 00:06:42,803 --> 00:06:46,606 From NPR, and she was on her phone the entire time. 157 00:06:46,607 --> 00:06:50,407 - When I was 16, I was trying to get a ride to the mall. 158 00:06:50,411 --> 00:06:54,947 When she was 16, she was competing in the Olympics. 159 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,978 That's, like, Cheyenne's age. 160 00:06:56,984 --> 00:06:59,519 - Oh, I'm 17, actually. 161 00:06:59,520 --> 00:07:00,820 - So, younger than Cheyenne, 162 00:07:00,821 --> 00:07:02,451 and she was already a gold medal winner. 163 00:07:02,456 --> 00:07:04,986 - $200, and I picked up the check. 164 00:07:04,992 --> 00:07:07,560 I'm just saying, the woman makes conversation for a living. 165 00:07:07,561 --> 00:07:12,198 - I can't imagine being 16 and having accomplished so much. 166 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:13,966 - Is this gonna take much longer? 167 00:07:13,967 --> 00:07:15,797 - I don't know, okay? 168 00:07:15,803 --> 00:07:18,643 I'm sorry that I'm not a stupid gold medalist! 169 00:07:21,574 --> 00:07:24,811 - My daughter's getting married today. 170 00:07:24,812 --> 00:07:26,679 To a lesbian. 171 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:27,780 - Ah. 172 00:07:34,521 --> 00:07:35,888 - I've spent the last few weeks 173 00:07:35,889 --> 00:07:38,619 watching people my age be the best in the world, 174 00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,685 and I'm barely getting through summer school. 175 00:07:40,694 --> 00:07:43,763 - Cheyenne, you're just overwhelmed, okay? 176 00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:44,997 With school and... 177 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:46,598 and I remember what it was like 178 00:07:46,600 --> 00:07:48,730 having to take all those child-birthing classes 179 00:07:48,735 --> 00:07:50,895 and the CPR classes and breastfeeding class... 180 00:07:50,904 --> 00:07:53,774 - I haven't been taking any of those! 181 00:07:57,844 --> 00:08:00,146 - Um, okay, Cheyenne? 182 00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,777 Hey! Hey, hey! Look at me. 183 00:08:02,783 --> 00:08:04,518 Take a deep breath. 184 00:08:11,224 --> 00:08:15,061 - You are the best in the world 185 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:18,698 at being you. 186 00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:21,829 - Is that from the poster in Glenn's office? 187 00:08:21,835 --> 00:08:23,865 - It was better when Missy did it. 188 00:08:23,871 --> 00:08:26,807 Okay, let me try it again. 189 00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:31,109 - I can't compete with this. 190 00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,879 It's like Chinese people's only purpose in life 191 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:34,210 is to humiliate me. 192 00:08:34,214 --> 00:08:36,682 - So you're trying to make your closing ceremonies 193 00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,952 compete with the actual ceremony from the actual Olympics? 194 00:08:39,953 --> 00:08:42,688 - I need a helper. 195 00:08:42,689 --> 00:08:43,956 How about this? 196 00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,187 We start with a fleet of helicopters 197 00:08:45,192 --> 00:08:46,792 descending on the store. 198 00:08:46,793 --> 00:08:48,561 - Okay, we? I'm... me? I'm the helper? 199 00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:49,829 - Yeah. - Okay. 200 00:08:49,830 --> 00:08:51,230 Well, how about, instead of helicopters, 201 00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:54,166 we go for something a tad less ambitious 202 00:08:54,167 --> 00:08:55,927 and use, like, streamers? 203 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,196 - Interesting. 204 00:08:57,204 --> 00:08:58,838 We could shoot them out of a cannon. 205 00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:01,707 Or we could put a cannon on a helicopter. 206 00:09:01,708 --> 00:09:04,277 - Ooh, okay, well, and then, building on that, 207 00:09:04,278 --> 00:09:06,208 how about none of that stuff, 208 00:09:06,213 --> 00:09:09,113 and everybody carries a tiny little flag? 209 00:09:09,116 --> 00:09:13,586 Maybe we should focus on stuff we can actually pull off. 210 00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,747 - Okay. I hear you. - Right? 211 00:09:15,756 --> 00:09:17,786 I'm being unreasonable. 212 00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:20,560 Do you have access to a team of white stallions? 213 00:09:20,561 --> 00:09:21,961 - A team? No. 214 00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,962 - Then I'm back to helicopters. 215 00:09:31,772 --> 00:09:33,239 - Hey! 216 00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,940 Look what I found over in menswear. 217 00:09:35,943 --> 00:09:39,579 A good old pair of American blue jeans pants. 218 00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:41,880 - Hey, lookin' good. - So casual. 219 00:09:41,882 --> 00:09:45,722 Good luck getting a pair of these babies in "Ma-nai-la." 220 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:49,320 - You know, I... I think he means well. 221 00:09:49,323 --> 00:09:50,756 He's... he's just... He doesn't unders... 222 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,857 - It's not like I don't love America. 223 00:09:52,859 --> 00:09:54,226 I do. 224 00:09:54,227 --> 00:09:55,787 But it's not perfect. 225 00:09:55,796 --> 00:09:58,256 You guys are way too into brunch. 226 00:09:58,265 --> 00:09:59,855 I wish Asians were allowed to vote. 227 00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,266 And I... I don't really get the whole basement thing... 228 00:10:01,268 --> 00:10:02,768 - Hold on... Hold on a second. 229 00:10:02,769 --> 00:10:03,899 What are you... What are you talking about? 230 00:10:03,904 --> 00:10:04,904 - Yeah, I know... It's a democracy. 231 00:10:04,905 --> 00:10:05,995 One person, one vote... 232 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:07,206 Oh, unless you're Asian-American. 233 00:10:07,207 --> 00:10:08,367 Tell me why that is. 234 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:10,275 - I don't know that I can. 235 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,646 Are you... Mateo, you're an American citizen, right? 236 00:10:13,647 --> 00:10:16,716 - Oh, just 'cause I'm Asian, I can't be a citizen? 237 00:10:16,717 --> 00:10:18,017 - No, no, I'm... I'm sorry. 238 00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,878 It's just that I've read about so many situations 239 00:10:19,886 --> 00:10:21,846 where parents bring their kids into the country illegally, 240 00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:23,685 and then, you know, they don't even tell them 241 00:10:23,690 --> 00:10:25,157 that they're undocumented. 242 00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:27,088 - Believe me, I have plenty of documents. 243 00:10:27,094 --> 00:10:29,862 I went to the green card store personally with my grandmother. 244 00:10:29,863 --> 00:10:32,198 - The... green card store? 245 00:10:32,199 --> 00:10:34,999 - Yeah, they sell green cards and knockoff handbags 246 00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:37,772 and bootleg "Spider-Man" DVDs. 247 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:45,378 Green card 248 00:10:45,379 --> 00:10:46,979 counterfeit? 249 00:10:46,980 --> 00:10:49,410 American citizen? 250 00:10:49,416 --> 00:10:51,176 "Spider-Man"... 251 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:52,718 Netflix. 252 00:10:52,719 --> 00:10:55,019 - I want to show you something, okay? 253 00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:58,858 See this? 254 00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:01,759 This looks like a stupid person wrote it, right? 255 00:11:01,762 --> 00:11:03,696 Well, it was me when I was five. 256 00:11:03,697 --> 00:11:05,857 I wrote that, and I put it on my wall, 257 00:11:05,866 --> 00:11:07,766 and I worked towards it every day, 258 00:11:07,768 --> 00:11:09,668 because there's nothing you can't do 259 00:11:09,670 --> 00:11:14,306 if you work hard, focus, and believe in yourself. 260 00:11:14,307 --> 00:11:17,977 - Wow, that is so cool. - It's very cool. 261 00:11:17,978 --> 00:11:19,738 - Can I touch it? 262 00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:20,876 - Yeah, absolutely, it's just a card. 263 00:11:20,881 --> 00:11:22,711 It's not magic. 264 00:11:22,716 --> 00:11:24,416 'Cause guess where the real magic is? 265 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:28,821 - Is it in me? - Yeah, bingo. 266 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:30,289 It's in you. And it's not real. 267 00:11:30,290 --> 00:11:32,090 Magic isn't real. It's tricks. 268 00:11:32,092 --> 00:11:34,860 Done by a liar. Remember that. 269 00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:39,899 - The Philippines has over 19 different regional languages. 270 00:11:39,900 --> 00:11:42,930 Hello? Indecisive much? 271 00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,296 Where is Mateo? 272 00:11:44,304 --> 00:11:45,404 - Oh, uh, you know what? 273 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,395 Maybe... Maybe take it easy 274 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:48,366 on Mateo today. - Why? 275 00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:51,435 - Uh, well... Not just Mateo, you know? 276 00:11:51,445 --> 00:11:53,745 There's a lot of employees here from different countries 277 00:11:53,747 --> 00:11:55,477 and, you know, making them say America is the best... 278 00:11:55,482 --> 00:11:57,416 That's just... not cool. 279 00:11:57,417 --> 00:11:59,777 - It's the Olympics! 280 00:11:59,786 --> 00:12:02,246 It's all about rooting for your country 281 00:12:02,255 --> 00:12:04,815 and saying all the other countries eat beans. 282 00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,285 - Well, but it's, it's also about the countries 283 00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:07,493 coming together, you know? 284 00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:09,994 That's why the rings are interlocked. 285 00:12:09,996 --> 00:12:13,396 - Oh, I thought it was just a symbol. 286 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:17,036 I didn't know it symbolized something. 287 00:12:17,037 --> 00:12:22,937 I am appearing at the opening of a motorcycle dealership. 288 00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:25,778 - Oh! You're leaving already? 289 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:27,509 Maybe we could, like, trade numbers and... 290 00:12:27,514 --> 00:12:31,450 - Oh, hey. We're not gonna do that. 291 00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:33,381 - Okay. - Yeah. 292 00:12:33,386 --> 00:12:34,846 - I get it. 293 00:12:34,855 --> 00:12:37,455 Bye. 294 00:12:37,457 --> 00:12:39,817 Oh, my God, isn't she so amazing? 295 00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:43,896 - Yeah. Thank you so much for this. 296 00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,997 I just haven't been believing in myself. 297 00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:50,069 I'm gonna find a card, write my dream down, 298 00:12:50,070 --> 00:12:51,400 and make it come true. 299 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:53,873 - Good for you. 300 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:56,474 - I'm gonna quit school and become an Olympic gymnast. 301 00:13:03,015 --> 00:13:04,875 - So, dropping out of school, 302 00:13:04,885 --> 00:13:06,415 that's a big risk for... 303 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,549 For a field that's so competitive 304 00:13:08,555 --> 00:13:11,055 and which so few people succeed. 305 00:13:11,057 --> 00:13:14,827 - I know it's a risk, but I believe in myself. 306 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,488 And back when I took gymnastics, 307 00:13:16,496 --> 00:13:18,896 Coach Bev said I was her best trier 308 00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:20,466 in her Tuesday-Thursday class. 309 00:13:20,467 --> 00:13:23,027 - Coach Bev said that, huh? - Mm-hmm. 310 00:13:23,036 --> 00:13:25,896 - I think what Amy is trying to say is that, uh, 311 00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:29,036 a lot of Olympic gymnasts train their whole lives, 312 00:13:29,042 --> 00:13:34,412 so writing it down a card might not be enough. 313 00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,248 - Really? 314 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:39,418 - No, that is not what I was trying to say, Jonah. 315 00:13:39,419 --> 00:13:42,949 I was trying to say Tokyo 2020! 316 00:13:49,496 --> 00:13:53,866 - Bonjour and sayonara, everyone. 317 00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:56,567 I just picked up a multicultural buffet. 318 00:13:56,570 --> 00:13:59,400 I got some, uh, egg rolls from the Orient 319 00:13:59,406 --> 00:14:01,566 and pizza... That's from Italy. 320 00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:06,275 Anyway, there's, uh, no reason for anyone to feel excluded. 321 00:14:06,279 --> 00:14:09,079 Now, I think all countries are equal. 322 00:14:09,082 --> 00:14:12,551 You know, whether you're of Mexican descent like Amy. 323 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,886 - Honduran. 324 00:14:13,887 --> 00:14:16,147 - I don't speak Spanish, sorry. 325 00:14:16,156 --> 00:14:19,186 Or like Garrett... You're, um... 326 00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,192 - Norwegian. 327 00:14:21,194 --> 00:14:23,128 - Wha... Really? 328 00:14:23,129 --> 00:14:26,198 Huh... But you're also part, um... 329 00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,599 - Swedish. 330 00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,631 - O... Okay, um. 331 00:14:29,636 --> 00:14:31,466 Or... Or like Mateo. 332 00:14:31,471 --> 00:14:33,371 You're from the Philippines. 333 00:14:33,373 --> 00:14:34,573 - I may have been born in the Philippines, 334 00:14:34,574 --> 00:14:37,509 but I am true-blue American. 335 00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:38,878 Dane Cook! 336 00:14:38,879 --> 00:14:40,009 - These burritos all have meat in them, 337 00:14:40,013 --> 00:14:42,553 so I can't eat any of these. 338 00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,556 - All right, listen up. 339 00:14:57,564 --> 00:14:59,632 We're putting together tonight's closing ceremony, 340 00:14:59,633 --> 00:15:00,966 so we need to know if any of you 341 00:15:00,967 --> 00:15:02,497 have any special skills. 342 00:15:02,502 --> 00:15:04,202 - I'm a pretty good singer. 343 00:15:04,204 --> 00:15:07,114 - Okay. Sing "Car Wash" with me immediately. 344 00:15:08,574 --> 00:15:09,674 Fail! 345 00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:10,906 The vocals don't come in 346 00:15:10,911 --> 00:15:12,278 for another ten measures. 347 00:15:12,279 --> 00:15:14,146 Also, you have the worst voice I've ever heard. 348 00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,507 What about you? 349 00:15:15,515 --> 00:15:17,045 I assume you have no special skills. 350 00:15:17,050 --> 00:15:22,187 - Um, I have highly superior autobiographical memory. 351 00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:24,088 It means I remember everything that happened 352 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:25,457 every day of my life. 353 00:15:25,458 --> 00:15:27,526 - Wow. That must be excruciating. 354 00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:28,687 Your life is pathetic. 355 00:15:28,695 --> 00:15:29,655 - That's exactly what you said 356 00:15:29,663 --> 00:15:31,633 the last time I told you. 357 00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:35,167 April 8, 2012. 358 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:36,198 Sorry. 359 00:15:36,202 --> 00:15:38,137 - This is a disaster! 360 00:15:38,138 --> 00:15:39,438 - We got a lot of great stuff here. 361 00:15:39,439 --> 00:15:40,439 - Are you kidding? 362 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,440 I mean, this is the Olympics. 363 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,542 They're about excellence. 364 00:15:43,543 --> 00:15:45,077 - Except it's not the Olympics. 365 00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:47,378 It's a store that sells discount soda pop 366 00:15:47,380 --> 00:15:49,210 and provides a bathroom for homeless dudes. 367 00:15:49,215 --> 00:15:50,975 - And there he is. 368 00:15:50,984 --> 00:15:52,718 Mr. Cool Guy Garrett, 369 00:15:52,719 --> 00:15:54,349 who doesn't care about anything. 370 00:15:54,354 --> 00:15:55,554 Well, you know what? 371 00:15:55,555 --> 00:15:57,055 I'm not cool. 372 00:15:57,057 --> 00:15:58,457 I don't know how to play the trumpet. 373 00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,118 I don't wear tie-dye shirts. 374 00:16:00,126 --> 00:16:02,086 - You think those things are cool? 375 00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:03,485 - You're off the team. 376 00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,526 - Okay, fine, whatever. 377 00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,598 Sorry, guys. 378 00:16:06,599 --> 00:16:08,567 Forget the whole thing. 379 00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,536 - I can't. 380 00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:13,037 - All you have to do is write it on the card, 381 00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:16,208 believe in it, and your dreams will come true! 382 00:16:16,209 --> 00:16:17,509 - Oh, hey! 383 00:16:17,510 --> 00:16:20,446 Are you guys doing that Missy-dream-card thing 384 00:16:20,447 --> 00:16:22,577 where you write down your realistic dreams? 385 00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,049 - Uh, realistic? 386 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:25,180 - Yeah, that's the point. 387 00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:27,445 You make your dreams realistic 388 00:16:27,454 --> 00:16:30,422 so that you're not setting yourself up for disappointment. 389 00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,723 - I wrote "go to Mars." 390 00:16:31,725 --> 00:16:33,585 - That's a great example. 391 00:16:33,593 --> 00:16:36,093 Um, I think Missy would say... 392 00:16:36,096 --> 00:16:38,296 if you want to go somewhere interesting, 393 00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:40,566 then maybe write something like, um... 394 00:16:40,567 --> 00:16:42,327 - "Go to Disneyland." 395 00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:44,465 - Exactly. - Are you insane? 396 00:16:44,471 --> 00:16:47,106 It's super expensive. 397 00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:49,637 - Okay, but you think that... Never mind. 398 00:16:49,642 --> 00:16:51,777 Let's try someone else. Uh... 399 00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:53,478 "Nail Scarlett Johansson." 400 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:55,310 - Ah. - Okay. 401 00:16:55,315 --> 00:16:56,675 Maybe more realistically... 402 00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:58,183 Why don't you try to "nail" 403 00:16:58,184 --> 00:17:00,619 someone you actually know? 404 00:17:00,620 --> 00:17:01,650 Like your wife? 405 00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:03,454 - Oh, cool, that'd be awesome. 406 00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,716 - No, it wouldn't. 407 00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,059 - What I'm trying to say is you may not 408 00:17:07,060 --> 00:17:09,460 be able to "start the next Google" 409 00:17:09,462 --> 00:17:11,462 or, uh, "be Beyoncé," 410 00:17:11,464 --> 00:17:13,264 or "try lobster..." 411 00:17:13,266 --> 00:17:15,466 No, Carol, that is a good one. 412 00:17:15,468 --> 00:17:17,298 You could actually do that right now. 413 00:17:17,303 --> 00:17:19,338 - I'm allergic. It would kill me. 414 00:17:19,339 --> 00:17:21,539 - Okay, well, then, maybe don't try the lobster, 415 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:25,077 but what I'm saying is you can't just do anything. 416 00:17:25,078 --> 00:17:27,678 If you could, then Garrett could just make himself walk. 417 00:17:28,815 --> 00:17:31,675 That's just the first thing that came to mind. 418 00:17:31,684 --> 00:17:33,052 - Well, you know what? 419 00:17:33,053 --> 00:17:35,153 I never tried writing it on a card before. 420 00:17:41,193 --> 00:17:42,693 Nope. 421 00:17:44,329 --> 00:17:45,629 - Cheyenne, what did you write? 422 00:17:45,632 --> 00:17:47,832 Um, let's see, uh, 423 00:17:47,834 --> 00:17:50,536 "Olympic gymnast"? - Hmm... 424 00:17:50,537 --> 00:17:52,537 - Thoughts? Realistic? 425 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,107 - You know, I don't know anymore. 426 00:17:55,108 --> 00:17:57,838 - Yeah, 'cause we could replace this with, um, 427 00:17:57,844 --> 00:18:00,079 like, uh, college graduate. - Oh! 428 00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:02,680 - Or, um, businesswoman. - There you go. 429 00:18:02,682 --> 00:18:04,149 - Yeah, okay, I get it. 430 00:18:04,150 --> 00:18:05,480 - You do? - Yeah. 431 00:18:05,485 --> 00:18:06,815 You don't believe I can do it. 432 00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:08,250 - No. - No, no. 433 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:10,589 - No, that is not what I'm saying. 434 00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,290 - Thanks, Amy. 435 00:18:14,093 --> 00:18:15,527 - Hey. 436 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:18,528 If Elias isn't nailing Scarlett Johansson, can I? 437 00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:21,471 - Sure. - Yes! 438 00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:24,798 Ooh, thank you. 439 00:18:26,872 --> 00:18:29,141 - Cheyenne. - What? 440 00:18:29,142 --> 00:18:31,477 Now you don't even believe I can sell jewelry? 441 00:18:31,478 --> 00:18:34,308 - Oh, come on. - I'm not stupid, okay? 442 00:18:34,314 --> 00:18:37,382 I never really thought I could become an Olympic athlete. 443 00:18:37,383 --> 00:18:39,151 - So then why were you... 444 00:18:39,152 --> 00:18:41,120 - It was just nice living the fantasy for a while. 445 00:18:41,121 --> 00:18:43,351 You know, like, when you buy a lottery ticket 446 00:18:43,356 --> 00:18:45,356 and you plan on how you're gonna spend the money, 447 00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:47,788 even though you know you're not really gonna win? 448 00:18:47,794 --> 00:18:49,328 - Look, Cheyenne, 449 00:18:49,329 --> 00:18:52,229 I know... that you... 450 00:18:52,232 --> 00:18:55,501 are destined for greatness. 451 00:18:55,502 --> 00:18:57,369 - Sorry, it just sounds cheesy. 452 00:18:57,370 --> 00:18:59,670 - I don't know how she does it! 453 00:19:00,572 --> 00:19:02,441 Glenn? 454 00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,309 Uh... 455 00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:07,146 This isn't easy for me to say, but, um, 456 00:19:07,147 --> 00:19:11,416 I found out today that I am not an American. 457 00:19:11,417 --> 00:19:13,847 But I love this job and, um... 458 00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:18,290 - Mateo. You're an American. 459 00:19:18,291 --> 00:19:21,860 And I'm Filipino. And everybody's everything. 460 00:19:21,861 --> 00:19:25,161 So it's like nobody's anything. 461 00:19:25,165 --> 00:19:28,465 And that's beautiful. 462 00:19:28,468 --> 00:19:30,168 - Well, okay. 463 00:19:30,170 --> 00:19:32,200 - Okay. 464 00:19:32,205 --> 00:19:34,365 Let me see that pin. 465 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:36,574 Okay. 466 00:19:43,882 --> 00:19:45,551 - Heh. 467 00:19:45,552 --> 00:19:47,286 - You stick yourself? 468 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,717 - So bad. Right into the bone. 469 00:19:49,722 --> 00:19:52,457 - Do you want me to go get someone or... 470 00:19:52,458 --> 00:19:54,788 - Just be with me. 471 00:19:54,794 --> 00:19:56,962 - I just don't know that I did the right thing. 472 00:19:56,963 --> 00:19:59,863 I mean, it feels weird convincing a teenager 473 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,596 to not follow their dream. 474 00:20:01,601 --> 00:20:03,531 - Maybe think of it as convincing a teen mom 475 00:20:03,536 --> 00:20:05,296 not to drop out of school. 476 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:06,795 Especially for something impossible. 477 00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:09,436 - I mean, I do wish impossible things could happen sometimes, 478 00:20:09,442 --> 00:20:11,442 but this is the real world. 479 00:20:15,514 --> 00:20:18,251 - What is going on? 480 00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,421 - I think this might be the closing ceremony. 481 00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:25,992 That I helped plan. 482 00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,377 - Only in America. 483 00:20:45,378 --> 00:20:49,248 But also only in anywhere else in the world, really. 484 00:20:52,318 --> 00:20:54,787 - Damn. She got everything except the... 485 00:21:04,764 --> 00:21:06,031 - Whoo! 486 00:21:06,032 --> 00:21:08,500 Helicopter! 487 00:21:12,972 --> 00:21:15,607 - Hey, Glenn! In your face! 488 00:21:15,608 --> 00:21:17,638 What? 489 00:21:17,644 --> 00:21:20,313 - Suck it, Glenn! 35152

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.