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Previously on "Station 19"...
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I'm humiliated. You've humiliated me.
3
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- I'm so sorry.
- It's not good enough.
4
00:00:08,223 --> 00:00:09,572
How long has that been going on?
5
00:00:09,596 --> 00:00:11,001
See, I don't open up to many people.
6
00:00:11,025 --> 00:00:12,431
With you...
7
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- ...it's easy.
- Somebody call 911!
8
00:00:14,829 --> 00:00:17,240
If you're looking for family
to update, I'm his sister.
9
00:00:17,264 --> 00:00:19,710
Updates are technically
just for family members.
10
00:00:19,734 --> 00:00:22,613
I was really ready to spend
the rest of my life with you.
11
00:00:22,637 --> 00:00:26,114
I get to spend the rest of mine with you.
12
00:00:30,411 --> 00:00:34,625
Have you ever experienced
pain or worry or loss?
13
00:00:34,649 --> 00:00:36,693
Are we sure Vic's
gonna want breakfast?
14
00:00:36,717 --> 00:00:38,662
Well, she's come out
of that room exactly once
15
00:00:38,686 --> 00:00:39,796
since she's been crashing here.
16
00:00:39,820 --> 00:00:40,872
She needs to eat.
17
00:00:40,896 --> 00:00:42,165
What do we say when we go in there?
18
00:00:42,189 --> 00:00:43,866
Let's just follow her lead.
19
00:00:43,890 --> 00:00:47,051
And, at the very least,
shove some toast in her mouth.
20
00:00:55,970 --> 00:00:57,180
Hey, Vic?
21
00:00:57,204 --> 00:00:58,714
We just wanted to check in.
22
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We... We have food.
23
00:00:59,739 --> 00:01:01,606
Vic, we're coming in, okay?
24
00:01:04,744 --> 00:01:05,919
Vic?
25
00:01:06,613 --> 00:01:08,091
Uh, she's gone.
26
00:01:08,115 --> 00:01:09,859
Should we be worried?
27
00:01:09,883 --> 00:01:11,494
I-I'm sure she wanted space.
28
00:01:11,518 --> 00:01:13,596
- Here. Um, maybe I should call her.
- You want me to call?
29
00:01:13,620 --> 00:01:14,997
- Uh...
- Or we can do it together.
30
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- Uh, no, y-yeah, whatever you want.
- Great.
31
00:01:16,490 --> 00:01:17,867
You're right. She probably
just needed some air.
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How about I just text her?
33
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She may not want to talk.
34
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At some point...
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not now, obviously, but sometime,
36
00:01:27,233 --> 00:01:30,678
do you think... you and I should talk?
37
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Let's just focus on Vic right now, okay?
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Have you ever experienced trauma?
39
00:01:40,212 --> 00:01:43,046
Have you ever experienced doubt?
40
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Of course you have.
41
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Everyone has.
42
00:01:49,588 --> 00:01:50,782
Couldn't sleep?
43
00:02:05,938 --> 00:02:09,784
He walked in that building
and came out a dead man.
44
00:02:09,808 --> 00:02:11,852
That could've been any one of us.
45
00:02:11,876 --> 00:02:14,810
On any day, any call.
46
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I know.
47
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I know.
48
00:02:20,952 --> 00:02:23,364
We all live through things that test us.
49
00:02:27,825 --> 00:02:30,804
It's how we each cope...
50
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...how we process, that says the most.
51
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Do we face our pain and own it?
52
00:02:45,309 --> 00:02:47,921
Or are we more comfortable...
53
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Good morning.
54
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Um, your usual.
55
00:02:50,681 --> 00:02:51,891
Yeah, I'll just have the one today.
56
00:02:51,915 --> 00:02:54,161
Oh. Okay, my mistake.
57
00:02:54,185 --> 00:02:55,584
What's your hubby up to?
58
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- He's at work.
- Hm.
59
00:02:58,789 --> 00:03:00,967
...living in denial?
60
00:03:07,164 --> 00:03:09,598
It's almost time for shift.
61
00:03:10,468 --> 00:03:13,012
I-I lost track of time.
62
00:03:13,036 --> 00:03:14,719
Haven't heard from you
since the hospital.
63
00:03:14,743 --> 00:03:17,016
I'm sorry. I've been helping
Jennifer with the arrangements.
64
00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:18,051
Mm.
65
00:03:18,075 --> 00:03:20,872
The department sent over
a checklist a mile long.
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And she, uh...
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She asked me to give the eulogy.
68
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Mm.
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Any advice?
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Mm. Wrong person to ask.
71
00:03:32,589 --> 00:03:35,034
Speeches are not my thing.
72
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Funerals aren't either.
73
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Everything okay?
74
00:03:40,864 --> 00:03:42,842
The wildfire that hit L.A.
earlier this week
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00:03:42,866 --> 00:03:44,043
has progressed.
76
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Crews are requesting backup supplies.
77
00:03:45,468 --> 00:03:47,212
Seattle stations
are organizing a caravan.
78
00:03:47,236 --> 00:03:49,715
Well, I'll handle it...
and whatever else.
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I mean, you... you have
a lot going on right now.
80
00:03:52,374 --> 00:03:54,219
And the work will be good
for me... for everyone.
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00:03:54,243 --> 00:03:56,421
Take our mind off things.
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I appreciate it.
83
00:03:57,647 --> 00:04:00,649
Hey, uh, you mind taking a crack
at this eulogy for me, too?
84
00:04:00,673 --> 00:04:03,623
Like I said, wrong person to ask.
85
00:04:12,227 --> 00:04:13,808
Are you crying?
86
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No.
87
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Then what's in your eyes?
88
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I said I wasn't crying, and I meant it.
89
00:04:19,468 --> 00:04:21,946
You don't need to feel
embarrassed about this.
90
00:04:21,970 --> 00:04:24,015
We're all a little messed up over Ripley.
91
00:04:24,039 --> 00:04:26,373
My head's kind of
all over the place, too.
92
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:29,554
- You want me to grab you a tissue?
- Nope.
93
00:04:29,578 --> 00:04:31,189
You gonna grab one yourself?
94
00:04:31,213 --> 00:04:33,358
- Negative, 'cause I don't need one.
- I think you do.
95
00:04:33,382 --> 00:04:34,992
No, I don't, because I'm not crying.
96
00:04:35,016 --> 00:04:36,961
- Do we need to talk about this?
- Absolutely not.
97
00:04:36,985 --> 00:04:38,563
But you always want to talk.
98
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Yeah. Alright, Mom.
99
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Love you. Bye.
100
00:04:40,904 --> 00:04:42,534
You talking with your mom?
With "I-love-yous"?
101
00:04:43,758 --> 00:04:45,102
Chief Ripley kind of reminded me
102
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to appreciate the people I've got
103
00:04:47,028 --> 00:04:48,105
while I've still got them.
104
00:04:48,129 --> 00:04:51,074
Also, now that things
with Nikki are progressing,
105
00:04:51,098 --> 00:04:52,309
my mom has been saying "I love you"
106
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at the end of every call.
107
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Kind of feels rude not to say it back.
108
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- Bishop, you okay?
- Don't forget this.
109
00:05:00,174 --> 00:05:02,653
Okay.
110
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Look at that. Not even 10% contained.
111
00:05:09,183 --> 00:05:11,027
I hope the winds don't shift.
112
00:05:11,051 --> 00:05:12,095
Just got word...
113
00:05:12,119 --> 00:05:14,030
California's requesting supplies.
114
00:05:14,054 --> 00:05:16,633
This one's gonna get worse
before it gets better.
115
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We'll organize shipments
for Seattle departments
116
00:05:18,392 --> 00:05:19,535
to take down to L.A.
117
00:05:19,559 --> 00:05:21,504
It's like bad on top of bad, you know?
118
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First, Ripley dies, and now this.
119
00:05:23,062 --> 00:05:25,174
Seems like we all could
have used a little pause.
120
00:05:25,198 --> 00:05:26,509
Hey, how's Vic?
121
00:05:26,533 --> 00:05:29,412
Uh, she split without
saying goodbye this morning.
122
00:05:29,436 --> 00:05:30,413
How are you doing?
123
00:05:30,437 --> 00:05:32,448
Just my allergies are acting up.
124
00:05:32,472 --> 00:05:34,149
Has anybody heard from Vic today?
125
00:05:34,173 --> 00:05:35,224
Morning!
126
00:05:35,248 --> 00:05:36,985
You guys seeing these wildfires?
127
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This thing just won't stop.
128
00:05:42,382 --> 00:05:44,293
Yeah. Okay.
129
00:05:44,317 --> 00:05:45,661
Okay, go on.
130
00:05:45,685 --> 00:05:47,129
Get all your staring out of your system,
131
00:05:47,153 --> 00:05:49,131
and then let's move on. Okay?
132
00:05:49,155 --> 00:05:51,234
Grieving Little Arm Candy's in the house.
133
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Drinking coffee. Ready to move forward.
134
00:05:52,924 --> 00:05:54,358
We all good now?
135
00:05:56,486 --> 00:05:57,606
Great. Okay.
136
00:05:57,630 --> 00:05:59,708
Back to your regularly scheduled
programs, please.
137
00:05:59,732 --> 00:06:02,176
Hey. You sure you want to be here?
138
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:05,113
I didn't come to work today 'cause
I didn't want to be here, so...
139
00:06:05,137 --> 00:06:06,080
How about I take you back home?
140
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,215
To Maya and Andy's,
141
00:06:07,239 --> 00:06:09,183
or if you want a change
of scenery, come stay with me.
142
00:06:09,207 --> 00:06:10,685
Why? 'Cause I shouldn't go home home?
143
00:06:10,709 --> 00:06:12,053
Back to the place
I spent so much time with him?
144
00:06:12,077 --> 00:06:12,920
Back to the bed we shared?
145
00:06:12,944 --> 00:06:14,844
You don't want me sleeping in that?
146
00:06:19,718 --> 00:06:21,396
Sorry.
147
00:06:21,420 --> 00:06:23,398
Sorry. That was... That was not fair.
148
00:06:23,422 --> 00:06:25,032
I'd love to come crash after shift,
149
00:06:25,056 --> 00:06:26,600
but right now, I'm working, so...
150
00:06:26,624 --> 00:06:28,302
Vic. We'll all cover for you.
151
00:06:28,326 --> 00:06:30,203
If you have other stuff
you need to be focused on...
152
00:06:30,227 --> 00:06:31,639
You know, it's not a big deal.
153
00:06:31,663 --> 00:06:34,308
Jennifer's handling all the funeral
arrangements and everything, so...
154
00:06:34,332 --> 00:06:37,278
You don't want to be
involved in that, or...
155
00:06:37,302 --> 00:06:38,320
Not really.
156
00:06:38,344 --> 00:06:39,580
I mean, what does it matter?
157
00:06:39,604 --> 00:06:40,581
It's not gonna bring him back.
158
00:06:40,605 --> 00:06:42,249
And I'm not going
to the funeral anyway, so...
159
00:06:42,273 --> 00:06:43,751
Miller, you mind passing me that syrup?
160
00:06:43,775 --> 00:06:45,040
- Yeah.
- Thank you.
161
00:06:48,346 --> 00:06:50,357
Vic, you have...
you have to go to the funeral.
162
00:06:50,381 --> 00:06:52,293
- No, I don't.
- Yes, you do.
163
00:06:52,317 --> 00:06:53,894
You can't just skip it.
164
00:06:53,918 --> 00:06:55,529
Yeah, I can. And I will.
165
00:06:55,553 --> 00:06:57,720
Uh, why hasn't Sullivan
called for lineup yet?
166
00:06:58,690 --> 00:07:01,067
- I'm, um, covering for him today.
- Sweet.
167
00:07:01,091 --> 00:07:03,069
Okay, so, we should just...
168
00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:04,604
start with chores, then, huh?
169
00:07:12,136 --> 00:07:19,901
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com
170
00:07:20,738 --> 00:07:23,483
Oh, my God.
Travis, I told you I was fine.
171
00:07:23,508 --> 00:07:24,752
I didn't pick that word just for fun.
172
00:07:24,776 --> 00:07:26,253
I meant it. I'm fine.
173
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Yeah, and I want you to know
174
00:07:27,378 --> 00:07:30,037
that it's okay if you're not... fine.
175
00:07:31,349 --> 00:07:33,961
You know, when Michael died,
I was a wreck.
176
00:07:33,985 --> 00:07:35,596
You know what helped me get through it?
177
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,264
His funeral,
178
00:07:37,288 --> 00:07:39,066
surrounded by other firefighters,
179
00:07:39,090 --> 00:07:40,367
by my friends.
180
00:07:40,391 --> 00:07:41,735
The tradition was actually
really comforting.
181
00:07:41,759 --> 00:07:43,237
And I'm so glad you had that.
182
00:07:43,261 --> 00:07:44,438
I know how meaningful that was for you.
183
00:07:44,462 --> 00:07:45,406
You were his husband.
184
00:07:45,430 --> 00:07:47,241
But me, I don't factor
into this equation.
185
00:07:47,265 --> 00:07:48,809
Funerals aren't designed
for people like me.
186
00:07:48,833 --> 00:07:51,048
There's no special seat for the secret...
187
00:07:51,072 --> 00:07:53,314
Vic, you know you were
so much more than that.
188
00:07:53,338 --> 00:07:55,203
It'll be an important day...
for Jennifer.
189
00:07:55,228 --> 00:07:56,783
She was his actual family, not me.
190
00:07:56,807 --> 00:07:59,409
She can walk front and center
at that procession, not me.
191
00:07:59,433 --> 00:08:01,165
I don't need that. I'm better off here.
192
00:08:02,402 --> 00:08:03,868
And I'm done talking now.
193
00:08:06,071 --> 00:08:08,149
Right in there, guys.
194
00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:10,051
Hey.
195
00:08:10,075 --> 00:08:11,687
P.D. heard about the supply caravan
196
00:08:11,711 --> 00:08:13,221
and wanted to pitch in.
197
00:08:13,245 --> 00:08:14,690
I saw the funeral's on Friday.
198
00:08:14,714 --> 00:08:16,558
A bunch of us will be there
to pay our respects.
199
00:08:16,582 --> 00:08:18,044
Appreciate it.
200
00:08:18,584 --> 00:08:21,410
I'm actually, um, heading
to San Diego the next day.
201
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:22,903
- Really?
- There's this tactical paramedic
202
00:08:22,928 --> 00:08:24,833
training program... really intensive.
203
00:08:24,857 --> 00:08:25,934
Couple spots opened up last minute,
204
00:08:25,958 --> 00:08:27,770
and, uh, they recruited me.
205
00:08:27,794 --> 00:08:29,605
Wow. That's... Congratulations.
206
00:08:29,629 --> 00:08:30,698
Thanks.
207
00:08:31,464 --> 00:08:33,975
Does that mean you're leaving Seattle?
208
00:08:33,999 --> 00:08:35,477
Well, for a couple of months, yeah.
209
00:08:35,501 --> 00:08:36,526
Could turn into more.
210
00:08:36,550 --> 00:08:37,812
Jenna and I got the call yesterday.
211
00:08:37,836 --> 00:08:39,747
It's really exclusive.
Kind of a big deal.
212
00:08:39,771 --> 00:08:41,616
You're going with Jenna?
213
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:43,151
That's... That's... That's great.
214
00:08:43,175 --> 00:08:44,386
I'm happy for you. Yeah.
215
00:08:44,410 --> 00:08:45,653
I'm happy for you, too.
216
00:08:45,677 --> 00:08:48,390
And you and Sullivan. That's also great.
217
00:08:48,414 --> 00:08:50,392
Me and... What?
218
00:08:50,416 --> 00:08:51,793
Weren't you two holding hands
at the hospital?
219
00:08:51,817 --> 00:08:52,961
No. That's not...
220
00:08:52,985 --> 00:08:54,429
I mean, yes, we were, but...
221
00:08:54,453 --> 00:08:56,064
No. That's... No.
222
00:08:56,088 --> 00:08:57,732
- No!
- Oh, okay.
223
00:08:57,756 --> 00:09:00,135
I guess maybe I misinterpreted.
My mistake.
224
00:09:00,159 --> 00:09:02,270
Station 19, respond.
225
00:09:02,294 --> 00:09:04,639
- Aid Car 19, civilian in distress.
- Uh...
226
00:09:04,663 --> 00:09:06,741
You ready, boss? 'Sup, Tanner?
227
00:09:06,765 --> 00:09:08,609
Who does that?
228
00:09:08,633 --> 00:09:10,411
Who just up and takes a job
in a new place
229
00:09:10,435 --> 00:09:12,712
without even telling
the people closest to them?
230
00:09:12,736 --> 00:09:14,648
I did, actually. Twice.
231
00:09:14,672 --> 00:09:16,439
Kind of going on three times,
now that I think about it.
232
00:09:17,521 --> 00:09:18,618
When does Tanner go?
233
00:09:18,642 --> 00:09:20,620
He said he leaves
right after the funeral.
234
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:25,792
Hey, what's it like?
235
00:09:25,816 --> 00:09:26,793
What's what like?
236
00:09:26,817 --> 00:09:28,795
I've never been to
a firefighter funeral.
237
00:09:28,819 --> 00:09:30,931
I realize I don't know where to sit,
238
00:09:30,955 --> 00:09:32,699
when to salute, what to expect.
239
00:09:32,723 --> 00:09:36,437
Expect... something beautiful.
240
00:09:36,461 --> 00:09:39,673
It's sad and hard,
but it's also really...
241
00:09:39,697 --> 00:09:41,375
- Well, the Honor Guard will be there.
- Right.
242
00:09:41,399 --> 00:09:43,177
They, uh... They're the ones
with the axes.
243
00:09:43,201 --> 00:09:45,078
And Miller keeps talking about bells.
244
00:09:45,102 --> 00:09:46,646
Near the end of the funeral,
245
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,148
someone will ring twenty
bells... five at a time...
246
00:09:49,172 --> 00:09:51,852
to signify a firefighter's end of watch.
247
00:09:51,876 --> 00:09:53,587
They ring them in every station,
248
00:09:53,611 --> 00:09:56,389
and it's to announce that...
249
00:09:56,413 --> 00:09:59,020
one of us has come home
for the last time.
250
00:09:59,717 --> 00:10:00,961
That is beautiful.
251
00:10:00,985 --> 00:10:02,818
And sad.
252
00:10:04,154 --> 00:10:06,193
My dad rang the bells.
253
00:10:06,557 --> 00:10:08,902
The night of my mom's funeral, too.
254
00:10:08,926 --> 00:10:10,670
We came home,
255
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:13,807
he went up to their room,
closed the door, and...
256
00:10:13,831 --> 00:10:16,620
I heard him ringing a bell.
257
00:10:16,967 --> 00:10:19,311
And I just sat out in the hall
258
00:10:19,335 --> 00:10:23,883
and listened as he rang it over and over.
259
00:10:32,849 --> 00:10:34,259
Uh, looks like we're here.
260
00:10:43,860 --> 00:10:45,860
Seattle Fire Department!
261
00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:48,741
Dispatch said he called it in himself.
262
00:10:48,765 --> 00:10:50,998
Maybe he lost consciousness.
263
00:10:55,137 --> 00:10:57,582
Hello? Is anyone in here?
264
00:10:57,606 --> 00:10:58,750
Seattle Fire Department!
265
00:10:58,774 --> 00:11:00,452
Yes, help! In here!
266
00:11:02,945 --> 00:11:05,857
Alright. Just give it to me
straight, please.
267
00:11:05,881 --> 00:11:07,426
Is it as bad as it looks?
268
00:11:09,952 --> 00:11:11,463
How bad is it, really?
269
00:11:11,487 --> 00:11:12,597
Nate, I can definitely say
270
00:11:12,621 --> 00:11:13,765
I've seen worse things than this.
271
00:11:13,789 --> 00:11:15,067
I should've been more careful.
272
00:11:15,091 --> 00:11:16,801
It's just that
I-I like to do things myself,
273
00:11:16,825 --> 00:11:18,136
and I should've called someone.
274
00:11:18,160 --> 00:11:19,171
Ow!
275
00:11:19,195 --> 00:11:21,373
Arm of the chandelier
is penetrating pretty deep.
276
00:11:21,397 --> 00:11:22,674
Looks like it's plugging the axillary.
277
00:11:22,698 --> 00:11:24,976
I slipped, and, just like that,
it was falling on top of me.
278
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,743
We are gonna get you out now, Nate.
279
00:11:26,767 --> 00:11:28,212
My life flashed before my eyes.
280
00:11:28,236 --> 00:11:30,247
You never see it coming, do you?
281
00:11:30,271 --> 00:11:32,049
I mean, one minute,
you're just doing what you do,
282
00:11:32,073 --> 00:11:35,141
and the next... it could just be over.
283
00:11:36,411 --> 00:11:38,021
Well, it's not over for you today, Nate.
284
00:11:38,045 --> 00:11:39,290
Okay? We got you.
285
00:11:39,314 --> 00:11:40,591
This is gonna be pretty loud, Nate,
286
00:11:40,615 --> 00:11:41,758
so... just hold still.
287
00:11:49,023 --> 00:11:50,067
Ugh.
288
00:11:50,091 --> 00:11:51,890
Hold on. Hold on.
289
00:11:53,828 --> 00:11:55,928
Yeah, got it.
290
00:11:58,866 --> 00:12:00,477
Wait, you're not gonna
take the whole thing out?
291
00:12:00,501 --> 00:12:01,645
Well, it's plugging a vessel,
292
00:12:01,669 --> 00:12:04,103
so right now, we want it to stay put.
293
00:12:05,106 --> 00:12:06,105
Go.
294
00:12:09,094 --> 00:12:10,186
Ready?
295
00:12:10,210 --> 00:12:11,989
So, what's gonna happen at the hospital?
296
00:12:12,013 --> 00:12:13,090
They're gonna take the whole
thing out there, right?
297
00:12:13,114 --> 00:12:14,691
One, two, three.
298
00:12:14,715 --> 00:12:16,292
Nate, can you hear me?
299
00:12:16,316 --> 00:12:18,862
- BP's dropping!
- He's tachycardic, too.
300
00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:20,097
Didn't even get him to the gurney.
301
00:12:20,121 --> 00:12:22,365
Start another IV.
Prepping norepinephrine.
302
00:12:22,389 --> 00:12:24,189
- Still dropping.
- Pushing now.
303
00:12:27,145 --> 00:12:29,354
Come on, Nate.
304
00:12:29,378 --> 00:12:31,059
Numbers are coming back up.
305
00:12:32,716 --> 00:12:33,894
Ready?
306
00:12:33,918 --> 00:12:35,562
One, two, three.
307
00:12:39,757 --> 00:12:41,568
Am I at the hospital?
308
00:12:41,592 --> 00:12:42,536
Not yet, buddy.
309
00:12:42,560 --> 00:12:44,971
But, uh, we need to get
you there right now.
310
00:12:44,995 --> 00:12:46,406
Why do I feel so weird?
311
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,340
You know, that's normal, Nate.
312
00:12:47,364 --> 00:12:48,909
Your brain was briefly
deprived of oxygen.
313
00:12:48,933 --> 00:12:50,243
But for real, it feels like
314
00:12:50,267 --> 00:12:52,178
there's a brick on my chest or something.
315
00:12:52,202 --> 00:12:53,847
- He's losing consciousness again.
- Damn it!
316
00:12:57,807 --> 00:12:59,284
Can I ask you a personal question?
317
00:12:59,308 --> 00:13:00,786
Uh, it depends on how personal.
318
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:01,854
I'm pretty much an open book,
319
00:13:01,878 --> 00:13:03,923
but there are some things
I like to keep private.
320
00:13:03,947 --> 00:13:06,224
- Like my birthmarks, for instance...
- Did you write a eulogy?
321
00:13:06,248 --> 00:13:07,949
For your husband?
322
00:13:08,952 --> 00:13:09,862
Look, I'm just asking
323
00:13:09,886 --> 00:13:11,564
because I'm trying
to write one for Ripley.
324
00:13:11,588 --> 00:13:12,865
Sorry. I can't help you.
325
00:13:12,889 --> 00:13:14,939
Of course. No problem.
326
00:13:14,963 --> 00:13:18,136
No, I mean I can't help you
'cause I couldn't help myself.
327
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,874
I couldn't bring myself to say
a word at Michael's service.
328
00:13:21,898 --> 00:13:24,256
You know who did end up speaking, though?
329
00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:25,644
Ripley.
330
00:13:25,668 --> 00:13:28,854
Yeah, he said some really
wonderful things, actually.
331
00:13:29,732 --> 00:13:31,876
- Like what?
- I don't even really remember.
332
00:13:32,141 --> 00:13:34,052
I just remember that it meant a lot,
333
00:13:34,076 --> 00:13:35,753
you know, for the Chief to take the time
334
00:13:35,777 --> 00:13:37,922
to get up there and say words
about my Michael like that.
335
00:13:37,946 --> 00:13:41,158
See, I need to figure out
words that'll do that.
336
00:13:42,490 --> 00:13:43,667
Especially for Hughes.
337
00:13:43,692 --> 00:13:45,871
Oh, I thought you'd heard.
338
00:13:45,896 --> 00:13:48,808
Vic isn't planning on going.
339
00:13:54,540 --> 00:13:56,985
Fact. I'm older than you.
340
00:13:57,010 --> 00:13:58,922
Are we playing a game?
341
00:13:58,947 --> 00:14:01,393
Fact. Because I am older than you,
342
00:14:01,418 --> 00:14:03,861
I, by default, have had
more life experience than you.
343
00:14:03,886 --> 00:14:06,097
- Okay.
- More experience to learn from.
344
00:14:06,122 --> 00:14:08,735
Experience that lets me know things
345
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,805
that you've yet to learn for yourself.
346
00:14:10,830 --> 00:14:12,037
I feel like you're going
somewhere with this,
347
00:14:12,062 --> 00:14:13,123
somewhere I'm probably not gonna like.
348
00:14:13,148 --> 00:14:14,559
- You need bagpipes.
- Pardon?
349
00:14:14,583 --> 00:14:16,027
To drown out your thoughts.
350
00:14:16,051 --> 00:14:17,996
They play at most firefighter funerals.
351
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:20,297
They're loud and a little
startling at first,
352
00:14:20,321 --> 00:14:21,666
but then you start to feel their hum.
353
00:14:21,690 --> 00:14:23,401
You feel it right inside your chest...
354
00:14:23,425 --> 00:14:24,569
Yeah, I-I, um... I don't need bagpipes.
355
00:14:24,593 --> 00:14:26,080
Oh, you will change your mind
once you experience...
356
00:14:26,104 --> 00:14:27,621
No, I d... I don't need bagpipes.
357
00:14:29,031 --> 00:14:30,408
No offense, sir,
358
00:14:30,432 --> 00:14:31,976
but I also don't need your advice.
359
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:34,461
Not on this. Excuse me.
360
00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:41,452
Our med kit's almost out of nor-epi now.
361
00:14:41,476 --> 00:14:43,220
Don't say that
like he'll need more of it.
362
00:14:43,244 --> 00:14:44,621
Are you trying to jinx us?
363
00:14:44,645 --> 00:14:45,956
Just want to make a note.
364
00:14:47,014 --> 00:14:50,483
Aah, no, no. This can't happen again.
365
00:14:51,619 --> 00:14:53,997
- BP is 90 over 50 and dropping.
- He's bottoming out.
366
00:14:54,021 --> 00:14:55,533
I'm worried about his airway.
367
00:14:55,557 --> 00:14:56,989
We need to intubate.
368
00:14:58,159 --> 00:15:01,338
At this rate, we'll get him to
the hospital in about a month.
369
00:15:01,362 --> 00:15:03,941
I would rather not try this
at sixty miles an hour.
370
00:15:03,965 --> 00:15:05,023
This has got to be the last thing
371
00:15:05,047 --> 00:15:06,277
that goes wrong with this guy, right?
372
00:15:06,301 --> 00:15:08,845
And the tube is... in.
373
00:15:08,869 --> 00:15:09,955
Bag him.
374
00:15:10,671 --> 00:15:12,049
Okay. Let's load him up.
375
00:15:14,508 --> 00:15:16,508
Quick, quick, quick.
376
00:15:17,945 --> 00:15:19,723
I promised you
it wasn't over today, Nate.
377
00:15:19,747 --> 00:15:21,458
But you got to meet us halfway.
378
00:15:21,482 --> 00:15:23,359
We should be good. Just keep bagging.
379
00:15:25,052 --> 00:15:26,663
Try not to hit any potholes.
380
00:15:31,025 --> 00:15:32,903
Pressure's dropping.
Are fluids on full flow?
381
00:15:32,927 --> 00:15:35,138
Watch the road.
How much longer to the hospital?
382
00:15:35,162 --> 00:15:36,740
Seattle Pres is about 6 minutes out.
383
00:15:36,764 --> 00:15:37,908
Just make sure to keep an eye
on his heart rate.
384
00:15:39,067 --> 00:15:41,111
I said avoid the potholes!
385
00:15:41,135 --> 00:15:43,113
- We may need to use QuikClot.
- I got it, Warren.
386
00:15:43,137 --> 00:15:44,380
It couldn't hurt to hang another bag.
387
00:15:44,404 --> 00:15:46,048
Yeah, it wouldn't hurt you
to drive better.
388
00:15:47,441 --> 00:15:49,328
Are you kidding me, Nate?
389
00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:51,087
V-fib!
390
00:15:51,111 --> 00:15:52,522
- Starting...
- Start the defibrillator!
391
00:15:55,528 --> 00:15:57,327
Shock delivered.
392
00:15:57,351 --> 00:15:58,863
Still in V-fib. Damn it.
393
00:16:01,455 --> 00:16:02,965
Shock delivered.
394
00:16:04,324 --> 00:16:05,635
Pull over, Warren!
395
00:16:05,659 --> 00:16:07,003
But we have to get him to the hospital!
396
00:16:07,027 --> 00:16:08,838
I've just started two-person CPR,
397
00:16:08,862 --> 00:16:09,905
and I only see one of us back here.
398
00:16:09,929 --> 00:16:12,208
So either you put the Aid Car
on cruise control,
399
00:16:12,232 --> 00:16:13,909
or you pull over now!
400
00:16:20,428 --> 00:16:22,307
Come on, Nate. Come on.
401
00:16:22,331 --> 00:16:24,238
He's asystolic.
402
00:16:24,265 --> 00:16:25,376
Run saline wide open.
403
00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:26,576
No, no, no, no, no. Andy, look.
404
00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,878
He's bleeding from the impalement.
405
00:16:27,902 --> 00:16:30,080
Every compression is pushing more
and more blood out of his body.
406
00:16:30,104 --> 00:16:32,349
- We can't just stop CPR.
- I know. I know.
407
00:16:33,841 --> 00:16:35,219
Well...
408
00:16:35,243 --> 00:16:36,553
CPR isn't gonna bring him back
409
00:16:36,577 --> 00:16:38,522
if there's no blood left to pump.
410
00:16:38,546 --> 00:16:39,924
We can't work with this thing in.
411
00:16:39,948 --> 00:16:42,426
So we should remove it? He can bleed out.
412
00:16:42,450 --> 00:16:45,261
I'll pack it right away.
And then hold pressure.
413
00:16:45,285 --> 00:16:46,896
Look, it's safer than what he's got now.
414
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:50,566
Whatever you do,
do not stop compressions.
415
00:17:00,567 --> 00:17:02,078
- Warren.
- Yeah, I know.
416
00:17:02,102 --> 00:17:03,346
- I know.
- This is a lot of blood.
417
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:05,636
Just a few more seconds.
418
00:17:07,107 --> 00:17:08,273
Ben!
419
00:17:09,742 --> 00:17:10,786
Got it! He's packed!
420
00:17:10,810 --> 00:17:12,978
Holding pressure.
421
00:17:16,984 --> 00:17:18,226
Normal sinus rhythm.
422
00:17:18,250 --> 00:17:20,795
- How far away are we from the hospital?
- About 3 minutes.
423
00:17:20,819 --> 00:17:22,431
- Can you hold pressure that long?
- Hell yeah I can.
424
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:24,421
Good, 'cause we're not
making any more stops.
425
00:17:25,491 --> 00:17:27,035
Just try not to hit any potholes.
426
00:17:32,698 --> 00:17:34,909
Hughes? Brought somebody to see you.
427
00:17:34,933 --> 00:17:38,746
I thought we could all maybe,
uh, talk for a minute.
428
00:17:38,770 --> 00:17:40,648
I've got to get these organized
for Station 42,
429
00:17:40,672 --> 00:17:41,829
but be my guest.
430
00:17:41,853 --> 00:17:44,052
Okay, I may not be someone
431
00:17:44,076 --> 00:17:45,720
that you're anxious to see right now,
432
00:17:45,744 --> 00:17:47,722
but when Robert called
and said that you weren't...
433
00:17:47,746 --> 00:17:49,724
Vic, you have to be there at the funeral.
434
00:17:49,748 --> 00:17:52,259
- You have to go.
- I have to get these MREs sorted
435
00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:54,362
before the guys from 42
show to pick them up, so...
436
00:17:54,386 --> 00:17:57,365
Wildfire strike teams
are usually 22 firefighters.
437
00:17:57,389 --> 00:18:00,868
Three MREs a day, that makes 66...
438
00:18:00,892 --> 00:18:02,370
Hey.
439
00:18:02,394 --> 00:18:05,026
Why don't you, um, stop for a second.
440
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,407
Okay?
441
00:18:06,431 --> 00:18:07,909
Look, you and Jen
442
00:18:07,933 --> 00:18:09,443
are the most important
people in Luke's life...
443
00:18:09,467 --> 00:18:10,514
You ever had one of these?
444
00:18:10,538 --> 00:18:12,480
It's basically freeze dried food.
445
00:18:12,504 --> 00:18:14,348
It seems pretty gross, but once
you heat it up, it's not that bad.
446
00:18:14,372 --> 00:18:16,936
Okay, Vic. He would've wanted you there.
447
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,653
I want you to be there.
448
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:20,287
I need you by my side.
449
00:18:20,311 --> 00:18:22,390
You're gonna have an entire
department of people there.
450
00:18:22,414 --> 00:18:24,726
You'll have Captain Sullivan.
You don't need me.
451
00:18:24,750 --> 00:18:26,527
He'd want you there... both of you.
452
00:18:26,551 --> 00:18:29,396
Well, I'm not going, so...
453
00:18:29,420 --> 00:18:31,498
- Please?
- No, I can't. I can't.
454
00:18:31,522 --> 00:18:33,000
Okay? I can't. I'm sorry.
455
00:18:33,024 --> 00:18:34,668
I can't go stand through
456
00:18:34,692 --> 00:18:36,537
a day of being tall
and polished and perfect
457
00:18:36,561 --> 00:18:39,428
a-and celebrating his life when...
458
00:18:40,665 --> 00:18:42,843
You know, I need
to get back to work, so...
459
00:18:42,867 --> 00:18:44,477
Okay.
460
00:18:58,382 --> 00:19:00,526
- Are you really still crying?
- I can't control it.
461
00:19:00,550 --> 00:19:03,495
- Wouldn't hurt to try.
- I am trying, but I can't shut it off.
462
00:19:03,519 --> 00:19:05,264
- Debatable.
- And I hate that I can't shut it off
463
00:19:05,288 --> 00:19:07,633
because I am not a person who cries.
464
00:19:07,657 --> 00:19:10,570
I suck my feelings up, I stuff 'em
down, I embrace the pain,
465
00:19:10,594 --> 00:19:12,538
but today, I just...
I can't make it stop.
466
00:19:12,562 --> 00:19:14,574
So can you just stop
making me feel bad about it?
467
00:19:14,598 --> 00:19:16,709
- I'm not trying to make you feel bad...
- Well, you are.
468
00:19:16,733 --> 00:19:18,410
- It's just a little distracting.
- Oh, my God!
469
00:19:18,434 --> 00:19:19,705
Anemones.
470
00:19:20,336 --> 00:19:22,014
- What did he just say?
- What?
471
00:19:22,038 --> 00:19:23,549
You two are sea anemones.
472
00:19:24,001 --> 00:19:25,417
We're not enemies.
473
00:19:25,441 --> 00:19:27,519
I-I know.
474
00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:29,421
I said sea anemones.
475
00:19:29,445 --> 00:19:30,990
Shady, little underwater invertebrates,
476
00:19:31,014 --> 00:19:33,614
and you got your tentacles
waving all over the place.
477
00:19:35,918 --> 00:19:37,629
- What is he talking about?
- I have no idea.
478
00:19:37,653 --> 00:19:39,497
Squishy, freaky sea predators.
479
00:19:39,521 --> 00:19:41,733
When you strike,
nobody ever sees it coming.
480
00:19:41,757 --> 00:19:42,901
But when you're threatened,
481
00:19:42,925 --> 00:19:45,070
you close yourselves off
into these tiny, little balls
482
00:19:45,094 --> 00:19:46,237
so that nobody can touch you.
483
00:19:46,261 --> 00:19:49,440
And the only time you come out
is to strike each other.
484
00:19:49,464 --> 00:19:52,110
You two got together in a fishbowl.
485
00:19:52,134 --> 00:19:53,544
And now you're wading
through the open sea.
486
00:19:53,568 --> 00:19:56,581
So no wonder you're
having trouble right now.
487
00:19:56,605 --> 00:19:57,742
No wonder you can't figure it out.
488
00:19:57,766 --> 00:20:00,551
No wonder you keep stinging each other.
489
00:20:00,575 --> 00:20:02,453
I hate to say this, but I think
he's starting to make sense.
490
00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:04,589
Maya, do you want to
know why you're crying?
491
00:20:04,613 --> 00:20:06,290
It's because you're sad.
492
00:20:06,314 --> 00:20:08,593
There doesn't have to be
any other reason.
493
00:20:08,617 --> 00:20:10,460
You're sad today. We all are.
494
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:13,030
And you just so happen to be
wearing it all over your face.
495
00:20:13,054 --> 00:20:15,599
And Jack, you're not really
annoyed with her for crying.
496
00:20:15,623 --> 00:20:18,035
You're in a garbage mood because...
497
00:20:18,059 --> 00:20:21,972
the chief went down, and it's hard.
498
00:20:21,996 --> 00:20:23,874
It's a tough one.
499
00:20:23,898 --> 00:20:26,910
We all thought he was
invincible, and he wasn't.
500
00:20:26,934 --> 00:20:28,746
And it's probably stirring up some stuff.
501
00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,614
So just take that in.
502
00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:34,718
Let's sway in this current
and not fight it
503
00:20:34,742 --> 00:20:36,842
and appreciate the fact that
you two are still here today.
504
00:20:38,646 --> 00:20:40,428
And you have each other.
505
00:20:44,518 --> 00:20:46,663
I don't know where all that
sea creature stuff came from,
506
00:20:46,687 --> 00:20:50,504
but, uh... surprisingly helpful, man.
507
00:20:51,192 --> 00:20:52,135
Thank you.
508
00:20:52,159 --> 00:20:53,670
You're welcome.
509
00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:56,473
It all came from Nikki.
510
00:20:56,497 --> 00:20:59,008
She's really observant and communicative,
511
00:20:59,032 --> 00:21:01,778
and somehow, it is rubbing off on me.
512
00:21:01,802 --> 00:21:03,280
She sounds really amazing.
513
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:04,681
She is.
514
00:21:04,705 --> 00:21:05,748
Blow your nose.
515
00:21:05,772 --> 00:21:07,950
You finally went on that first date, huh?
516
00:21:07,974 --> 00:21:09,952
Uh, we had plans, but I kinda canceled
517
00:21:09,976 --> 00:21:11,721
because grief isn't sexy.
518
00:21:12,913 --> 00:21:15,325
Wait, then why are we taking
relationship advice from him?
519
00:21:15,349 --> 00:21:17,294
Because I am right.
520
00:21:17,318 --> 00:21:18,494
Here.
521
00:21:18,518 --> 00:21:20,329
Blow your nose.
522
00:21:20,353 --> 00:21:21,397
Again.
523
00:21:25,458 --> 00:21:28,604
34-year-old male found impaled
in the chest by a chandelier.
524
00:21:28,628 --> 00:21:29,638
He arrested twice en route...
525
00:21:29,662 --> 00:21:31,708
V-fib the first time
and asystolic the second.
526
00:21:31,732 --> 00:21:33,176
We initiated CPR
527
00:21:33,200 --> 00:21:34,944
and intubated
with a total of four shocks,
528
00:21:34,968 --> 00:21:35,999
epi, and a norepi drip.
529
00:21:36,023 --> 00:21:37,914
Oh, and we removed his impalement.
530
00:21:37,938 --> 00:21:39,048
That it?
531
00:21:39,072 --> 00:21:40,183
We'll take it from here.
532
00:21:40,207 --> 00:21:42,018
Thank you.
533
00:21:42,042 --> 00:21:43,720
Whew.
534
00:21:43,744 --> 00:21:45,354
You know, I don't think
I have taken a breath
535
00:21:45,378 --> 00:21:47,223
since we kicked down Nate's door.
536
00:21:47,247 --> 00:21:48,791
What?
537
00:21:48,815 --> 00:21:50,893
Nothing. Just... you have no idea.
538
00:21:50,917 --> 00:21:53,128
I... Today was already
one thing after another,
539
00:21:53,152 --> 00:21:56,164
and I thought the call would
take my mind off all the things,
540
00:21:56,188 --> 00:21:58,234
but apparently,
I'm living in a world of whack-a-mole.
541
00:21:58,258 --> 00:21:59,368
Is everything alright?
542
00:21:59,392 --> 00:22:01,570
Ryan's leaving, and I shouldn't
care, but I kinda do.
543
00:22:01,594 --> 00:22:04,139
But I don't, because what's more
important is I'm helping Vic.
544
00:22:04,163 --> 00:22:06,542
Except I'm not because she's
sneaking out of my apartment,
545
00:22:06,566 --> 00:22:08,577
leaving me with Maya, who
I can't even talk to right now.
546
00:22:08,601 --> 00:22:10,546
And... And then I get stuck
with the guy who keeps dying.
547
00:22:10,570 --> 00:22:13,482
Yeah. And someone I really
looked up to did die, and...
548
00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:15,251
You know, through all of it,
549
00:22:15,275 --> 00:22:18,987
all I can hear is
the sound of those damn bells
550
00:22:19,011 --> 00:22:21,056
coming from my dad's room.
551
00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:24,559
I'm 9 years old all over again,
552
00:22:24,583 --> 00:22:28,130
and a-all this stuff is coming
up that I don't know how to...
553
00:22:28,154 --> 00:22:29,364
I don't know how to clamp it down,
554
00:22:29,388 --> 00:22:30,632
I don't know how to make it go away.
555
00:22:30,656 --> 00:22:33,534
One bleeder at a time.
556
00:22:33,558 --> 00:22:34,569
What?
557
00:22:34,593 --> 00:22:37,335
One bleeder at a time.
558
00:22:37,359 --> 00:22:38,774
I-It's something I learned
when I was a surgeon.
559
00:22:38,798 --> 00:22:39,941
When you open a patient up
560
00:22:39,965 --> 00:22:40,976
and everywhere you look,
561
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,978
there's something
bleeding or falling apar...
562
00:22:43,002 --> 00:22:44,785
when it's damage control,
563
00:22:45,637 --> 00:22:50,607
all you can do is tackle
one bleeder at a time.
564
00:23:05,256 --> 00:23:07,134
- Some call, huh?
- Ooh.
565
00:23:07,158 --> 00:23:09,770
I don't think you'd believe me
if I told you.
566
00:23:09,794 --> 00:23:11,471
How's the eulogy going?
567
00:23:11,495 --> 00:23:13,355
It's not.
568
00:23:13,798 --> 00:23:15,409
I think I'm just too close to it.
569
00:23:15,433 --> 00:23:16,743
Nothing sounds right.
570
00:23:18,837 --> 00:23:21,682
Did you speak at your wife's funeral?
571
00:23:21,706 --> 00:23:23,250
Yes, I did.
572
00:23:23,274 --> 00:23:25,242
Or I t... I tried.
573
00:23:25,844 --> 00:23:28,755
Started off okay,
but then I just lost it.
574
00:23:28,779 --> 00:23:30,424
- Mm.
- Barely even remember now.
575
00:23:30,448 --> 00:23:32,165
Um, I think I was...
576
00:23:32,782 --> 00:23:35,628
I was really raw, you know?
577
00:23:35,652 --> 00:23:38,431
Did you speak at your mom's?
578
00:23:38,455 --> 00:23:41,067
I was 9, so I didn't speak.
579
00:23:41,091 --> 00:23:43,303
- I don't think I spoke the whole day.
- Mm.
580
00:23:43,327 --> 00:23:44,845
Barely.
581
00:23:45,462 --> 00:23:48,181
I was raw, too.
582
00:23:48,866 --> 00:23:50,643
Still am.
583
00:23:50,667 --> 00:23:51,677
Yeah.
584
00:23:51,701 --> 00:23:53,935
So, use it.
585
00:23:55,712 --> 00:23:58,775
Be raw if you need to be raw.
586
00:24:00,193 --> 00:24:02,088
Y-You don't have to write a word
587
00:24:02,112 --> 00:24:04,207
or read a word you write.
588
00:24:04,231 --> 00:24:08,535
Just... get up there and talk.
589
00:24:09,418 --> 00:24:10,984
Talk to him.
590
00:24:12,821 --> 00:24:14,499
It doesn't matter,
591
00:24:14,524 --> 00:24:16,135
not when it comes from the heart.
592
00:24:22,231 --> 00:24:24,009
I just hope Vic will be there to hear it.
593
00:24:42,319 --> 00:24:43,428
Any update on Vic?
594
00:24:45,354 --> 00:24:46,398
Afraid not.
595
00:24:46,422 --> 00:24:48,033
She's really not coming?
596
00:25:04,706 --> 00:25:06,418
There's still time...
597
00:25:06,442 --> 00:25:07,852
if you want change your mind,
get dressed.
598
00:25:07,876 --> 00:25:09,977
Nope, I'm good.
599
00:25:13,049 --> 00:25:15,215
I don't think that's true.
600
00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:19,651
How many different ways
do I have to say it?
601
00:25:21,342 --> 00:25:22,552
How many different times?
602
00:25:22,690 --> 00:25:24,433
I'm fine. I'm good.
603
00:25:24,638 --> 00:25:26,152
I'm coping. I don't want to go.
604
00:25:26,177 --> 00:25:30,421
Nobody wants to go to a funeral.
605
00:25:30,665 --> 00:25:31,675
But it is good to go.
606
00:25:31,699 --> 00:25:34,045
It gives you clarity.
It gives you closure.
607
00:25:34,069 --> 00:25:35,980
Yeah, I don't need any of those things.
I already got 'em.
608
00:25:36,004 --> 00:25:37,048
No, you don't.
609
00:25:37,072 --> 00:25:40,043
I just, um... I need you
to back off of me, please.
610
00:25:40,258 --> 00:25:41,419
- You want me to back off?
- Yeah.
611
00:25:41,443 --> 00:25:43,654
You want me to give you some space?
612
00:25:43,678 --> 00:25:46,690
Okay, you've had days of space, Vic,
613
00:25:46,714 --> 00:25:48,426
and you're still...
614
00:25:48,450 --> 00:25:50,226
You are in denial.
615
00:25:50,250 --> 00:25:52,095
You are not coping.
616
00:25:52,119 --> 00:25:53,770
Believe me, I know how hard it is
617
00:25:53,794 --> 00:25:54,897
- to accept what's happened.
- Mm.
618
00:25:54,921 --> 00:25:55,999
You know I do.
619
00:25:56,023 --> 00:25:57,800
But trust me, when you
lose a spouse like that...
620
00:25:57,824 --> 00:25:59,724
No, but I didn't...
I didn't lose a spouse!
621
00:26:01,794 --> 00:26:04,150
We never got married, so I...
You know what? I...
622
00:26:04,751 --> 00:26:07,195
I didn't get to lose a spouse.
623
00:26:08,335 --> 00:26:09,879
I didn't get to experience a marriage.
624
00:26:09,903 --> 00:26:10,880
I was robbed of that.
625
00:26:10,904 --> 00:26:12,871
Instead, I lost someone who...
626
00:26:16,416 --> 00:26:18,373
I lost someone who...
627
00:26:18,611 --> 00:26:22,585
very well may have been
the love of my life.
628
00:26:23,616 --> 00:26:25,816
But he wasn't my husband.
629
00:26:28,708 --> 00:26:30,468
I'm nothing to him.
630
00:26:31,043 --> 00:26:32,820
Officially, on paper, I am nothing.
631
00:26:32,845 --> 00:26:36,792
So... yeah, maybe I don't...
632
00:26:36,817 --> 00:26:39,229
maybe I don't want to accept
that particular truth right now.
633
00:26:39,254 --> 00:26:42,133
But you don't get to pretend
like you know what that's like.
634
00:26:42,158 --> 00:26:43,481
You don't.
635
00:26:43,994 --> 00:26:45,038
You don't know what this is like,
636
00:26:45,063 --> 00:26:46,274
so stop parading around here
637
00:26:46,299 --> 00:26:48,443
talking about me behind my back to...
638
00:26:48,468 --> 00:26:49,845
to anyone else in the station
639
00:26:49,870 --> 00:26:52,749
because I'm not acting
like you want me to act.
640
00:26:52,774 --> 00:26:54,752
I am not you!
641
00:26:54,777 --> 00:26:56,722
Lucas is not Michael!
642
00:26:56,747 --> 00:26:59,059
Okay, your husband died two years ago!
643
00:26:59,084 --> 00:27:00,728
If anybody is in denial right now...
644
00:27:00,753 --> 00:27:01,773
Say it. Do it.
645
00:27:01,798 --> 00:27:02,832
- Just... Don't.
- It's okay.
646
00:27:02,857 --> 00:27:03,967
Say whatever you want to say.
647
00:27:03,992 --> 00:27:05,804
You want to scream at me,
wail on me? I don't care.
648
00:27:05,829 --> 00:27:08,340
Just get all that anger out right now.
649
00:27:08,365 --> 00:27:10,076
Because if you don't,
it will keep bubbling up
650
00:27:10,101 --> 00:27:11,846
and it will come out worse
651
00:27:11,871 --> 00:27:14,416
- in some other way, onto someone else.
- Oh, my God.
652
00:27:14,441 --> 00:27:15,985
- You can't see it right now, Vic...
- Okay.
653
00:27:16,010 --> 00:27:17,822
- ...but even getting mad...
- Just shut u... Shut up!
654
00:27:17,847 --> 00:27:20,977
- ...it's a healthy first step!
- Just shut... shut up!
655
00:27:22,567 --> 00:27:24,314
Just stop talking to me.
656
00:27:25,044 --> 00:27:26,941
And go to the funeral.
657
00:27:27,339 --> 00:27:29,652
Just... Just go.
658
00:27:37,519 --> 00:27:39,255
Excuse me. Are you Victoria Hughes?
659
00:27:39,280 --> 00:27:41,058
What?
660
00:27:41,082 --> 00:27:42,059
I'm sorry, can I... can I help you?
661
00:27:42,083 --> 00:27:45,996
It's... It's probably weird that I, uh...
662
00:27:46,020 --> 00:27:48,098
Dr. Bailey told me what you look like...
663
00:27:48,122 --> 00:27:50,934
And I'm so sorry for your loss.
664
00:27:50,958 --> 00:27:52,867
I'm s... Who... Who are you?
665
00:27:52,867 --> 00:27:55,279
I'm Levi. I'm a-a doctor at Grey-Sloan.
666
00:27:55,303 --> 00:27:58,520
I was, uh, with Chief Ripley
when he collapsed.
667
00:27:58,544 --> 00:28:00,308
We were both
at the flower shop that day...
668
00:28:00,332 --> 00:28:02,172
the day that he was going to see you.
669
00:28:02,196 --> 00:28:04,702
And I wanted to give these to you.
670
00:28:04,726 --> 00:28:06,856
They're the same ones that he picked out.
671
00:28:07,248 --> 00:28:11,050
N-Not the same same, but, uh... anyway.
672
00:28:13,387 --> 00:28:15,632
He wanted them to say...
673
00:28:15,890 --> 00:28:18,535
he was ready to spend
the rest of his life with you.
674
00:28:19,536 --> 00:28:22,080
So, I guess I...
675
00:28:23,163 --> 00:28:25,831
I thought that
you might like to see them.
676
00:28:33,541 --> 00:28:34,675
Thank you.
677
00:28:34,699 --> 00:28:37,020
Uh, I-I, um...
678
00:28:37,044 --> 00:28:38,589
I really need
to get back to the hospital,
679
00:28:38,613 --> 00:28:40,357
but it was really nice to meet you.
680
00:28:40,381 --> 00:28:42,559
And I-I'm really sorry.
681
00:29:12,211 --> 00:29:15,024
Hey, hey. Hey.
682
00:29:32,731 --> 00:29:34,510
My badge. Where's my badge?
683
00:29:34,534 --> 00:29:36,333
Hey, hey.
684
00:29:37,836 --> 00:29:39,515
One bleeder at a time.
685
00:30:50,975 --> 00:30:53,454
I have to go meet the procession.
686
00:30:53,478 --> 00:30:55,423
You gonna be okay?
687
00:30:55,447 --> 00:30:56,857
Go.
688
00:30:56,881 --> 00:30:58,326
He hated being late.
689
00:31:00,747 --> 00:31:02,330
I'm fine, Robert.
690
00:31:02,354 --> 00:31:03,797
Really.
691
00:31:03,821 --> 00:31:06,299
- Alright.
- Okay.
692
00:31:14,031 --> 00:31:15,609
May I join you?
693
00:31:15,633 --> 00:31:17,977
God, Vic.
694
00:31:18,001 --> 00:31:19,912
I am so glad you're here.
695
00:31:40,557 --> 00:31:42,067
Dean says I'm a sea anemone...
696
00:31:42,091 --> 00:31:43,068
What?
697
00:31:43,092 --> 00:31:44,370
...which I think just means
698
00:31:44,394 --> 00:31:46,372
I keep things in to protect myself,
699
00:31:46,396 --> 00:31:48,494
even when I don't need to.
700
00:31:50,233 --> 00:31:52,166
I'm so sorry I didn't
tell you about Jack.
701
00:31:53,593 --> 00:31:54,647
You tell me everything.
702
00:31:54,671 --> 00:31:57,216
I should've trusted you with my...
703
00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:59,017
poisonous anemone tentacles.
704
00:32:01,608 --> 00:32:03,468
I know funerals are hard for you.
705
00:32:04,113 --> 00:32:05,345
How you holding up?
706
00:32:06,482 --> 00:32:07,981
Better now.
707
00:32:30,038 --> 00:32:31,662
You made it.
708
00:32:32,274 --> 00:32:33,524
I did.
709
00:32:49,523 --> 00:32:51,167
Stay.
710
00:33:01,168 --> 00:33:05,382
And if, while on duty,
I must answer death's call,
711
00:33:05,406 --> 00:33:10,709
bless with your protecting hand
my family, one and all.
712
00:33:23,657 --> 00:33:27,224
I have been thinking a lot
about what to say today.
713
00:33:29,362 --> 00:33:33,542
Chief Ripley was a boss
to most of us in this room.
714
00:33:33,566 --> 00:33:36,145
We looked up to him. We respected him.
715
00:33:36,169 --> 00:33:40,249
As Chief, he gave
everything to this department.
716
00:33:40,273 --> 00:33:46,277
As Lucas, he gave even more
to those he loved outside it.
717
00:34:03,261 --> 00:34:05,256
To me, Lucas was a true friend.
718
00:34:06,119 --> 00:34:07,296
We really saw each other.
719
00:34:07,321 --> 00:34:10,200
We understood each other.
720
00:34:10,469 --> 00:34:12,314
Strengths and flaws.
721
00:34:12,338 --> 00:34:13,682
We fought.
722
00:34:13,706 --> 00:34:18,286
We made up... thankfully, not too late.
723
00:34:18,310 --> 00:34:20,555
Sometimes you connect with a person,
724
00:34:20,579 --> 00:34:22,815
and you can't always explain it.
725
00:34:23,649 --> 00:34:28,196
Over distance and time
and impossible obstacles,
726
00:34:28,220 --> 00:34:31,465
you still find a way to each other.
727
00:34:31,489 --> 00:34:38,072
It's so rare to meet someone
who connects with you that way.
728
00:34:38,096 --> 00:34:40,441
Someone who makes you want to
face your fears
729
00:34:40,465 --> 00:34:43,127
head-on, eyes open.
730
00:34:45,070 --> 00:34:49,008
And it's so hard to say goodbye
to them when they go.
731
00:34:49,841 --> 00:34:51,986
My last conversation with Luke,
732
00:34:52,010 --> 00:34:55,223
he told me not to say goodbye to him.
733
00:34:55,247 --> 00:35:00,186
Instead, I said, "We're good."
734
00:35:00,571 --> 00:35:02,448
I want to reiterate that now.
735
00:35:07,647 --> 00:35:09,403
We miss you, Luke.
736
00:35:11,021 --> 00:35:13,199
We wish you didn't leave us so soon.
737
00:35:14,465 --> 00:35:18,912
But since you did, since you had to...
738
00:35:22,139 --> 00:35:23,706
...it's all good.
739
00:35:25,476 --> 00:35:27,320
We're all good.
740
00:35:30,548 --> 00:35:32,325
You were so good.
741
00:36:00,710 --> 00:36:02,355
When a firefighter dies,
742
00:36:02,379 --> 00:36:06,026
the toll of the bell
represents their last alarm.
743
00:36:06,050 --> 00:36:07,670
The end of their duties.
744
00:36:09,226 --> 00:36:12,675
The bell rings to say
their shift is over.
745
00:36:13,596 --> 00:36:15,696
They are going home.
746
00:36:47,933 --> 00:36:51,247
I first met Ripley on his, uh,
second call as a rookie.
747
00:36:51,271 --> 00:36:54,688
Told him to grab that
"left-handed halligan."
748
00:36:55,747 --> 00:36:57,591
Fire must've been out
for at least 30 minutes
749
00:36:57,615 --> 00:36:59,393
before he realized that it didn't exist.
750
00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,928
Oh.
751
00:37:00,952 --> 00:37:02,797
To Chief Ripley.
752
00:37:02,821 --> 00:37:04,954
- To Chief Ripley.
- To Ripley.
753
00:37:05,657 --> 00:37:06,900
- Yes!
- No way.
754
00:37:06,924 --> 00:37:08,969
- Come on.
- That's right. That's right.
755
00:37:08,993 --> 00:37:10,504
College was not a waste.
756
00:37:10,528 --> 00:37:12,239
It's all in the elbow, Dean.
It's all in the elbow.
757
00:37:12,263 --> 00:37:13,607
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
758
00:37:13,631 --> 00:37:14,842
What am I seeing here?
759
00:37:14,866 --> 00:37:16,477
Am I seeing what I think I'm seeing?
760
00:37:16,501 --> 00:37:18,679
You never go out in public
without that thing on.
761
00:37:18,703 --> 00:37:21,982
And you definitely do not go out
drinking without that thing on!
762
00:37:22,006 --> 00:37:24,784
I do now. I do tonight.
763
00:37:24,808 --> 00:37:26,153
You know, we don't know
what's gonna happen.
764
00:37:26,177 --> 00:37:27,821
I'm alive. I'm here.
765
00:37:27,845 --> 00:37:29,622
World's full of possibilities.
766
00:37:29,646 --> 00:37:31,992
I think that calls for another round.
767
00:37:32,016 --> 00:37:33,626
Uh, guys, how weird would it be
768
00:37:33,650 --> 00:37:35,462
if I accidentally scheduled
my first date with Nikki
769
00:37:35,486 --> 00:37:36,830
for, let's say, right now?
770
00:37:36,854 --> 00:37:38,498
That seems like a terrible idea.
771
00:37:38,522 --> 00:37:40,367
How do you accidentally schedule a date?
772
00:37:40,391 --> 00:37:41,623
Hey!
773
00:37:42,526 --> 00:37:44,004
Hey.
774
00:37:44,028 --> 00:37:45,906
Oh. Hi.
775
00:37:45,930 --> 00:37:47,941
Hello.
776
00:37:47,965 --> 00:37:49,809
- Everyone, this is Nikki.
- Nice to meet you.
777
00:37:49,833 --> 00:37:51,879
Well, this isn't intimidating at all.
778
00:37:51,903 --> 00:37:54,081
Oh, there's nothing to be intimidated by.
779
00:37:54,105 --> 00:37:55,381
Except for my quarters game.
780
00:37:55,405 --> 00:37:56,983
Are you in?
781
00:37:57,007 --> 00:37:59,018
I spent three years at Harvard,
782
00:37:59,042 --> 00:38:01,487
- in which I graduated summa cum laude...
- Mm-hmm.
783
00:38:01,511 --> 00:38:03,811
...broke the women's
tennis record, and...
784
00:38:05,949 --> 00:38:07,493
...became unbeatable at quarters.
785
00:38:08,885 --> 00:38:10,662
Let's get a drink.
786
00:38:10,686 --> 00:38:12,331
Maybe not at a wake.
787
00:38:12,355 --> 00:38:13,966
Let's. Lovely to meet you all.
788
00:38:13,990 --> 00:38:16,002
Nice to meet you.
789
00:38:16,026 --> 00:38:17,758
Yeah, I like her.
790
00:38:19,296 --> 00:38:21,554
Your eulogy was really moving.
791
00:38:22,299 --> 00:38:25,732
Really? I felt, uh, zoned out there.
792
00:38:25,756 --> 00:38:26,913
You spoke from your heart.
793
00:38:26,937 --> 00:38:28,644
It showed.
794
00:38:30,105 --> 00:38:31,683
You're alright.
795
00:38:35,545 --> 00:38:36,755
Thanks.
796
00:38:37,780 --> 00:38:41,126
So, um, if Jack wants
to come over tonight...
797
00:38:41,150 --> 00:38:42,895
I'm okay with it,
798
00:38:42,919 --> 00:38:45,686
if he promises to pick up
breakfast in the morning.
799
00:38:47,189 --> 00:38:49,034
Thanks. I mean it.
800
00:38:49,058 --> 00:38:50,101
Mm.
801
00:38:50,125 --> 00:38:51,570
But I think Vic should
be the only one staying over
802
00:38:51,594 --> 00:38:53,038
for a while.
803
00:38:53,062 --> 00:38:55,240
Yeah.
804
00:38:55,264 --> 00:38:56,408
I think that's good.
805
00:38:56,432 --> 00:38:58,009
Do you know where she is?
806
00:38:58,033 --> 00:38:59,377
I haven't seen her.
807
00:38:59,401 --> 00:39:02,636
She... She said she wanted to be alone.
808
00:39:07,141 --> 00:39:08,653
Oh, those are beautiful flowers.
809
00:39:08,677 --> 00:39:09,687
Thank you.
810
00:39:09,711 --> 00:39:10,936
Uh, just you again?
811
00:39:11,947 --> 00:39:13,012
Yeah.
812
00:39:15,116 --> 00:39:17,127
When a firefighter dies,
813
00:39:17,151 --> 00:39:19,997
the toll of the bell
represents their last alarm.
814
00:39:20,021 --> 00:39:20,965
So, did I tell you
815
00:39:20,989 --> 00:39:22,600
the crazy thing Ryan said
816
00:39:22,624 --> 00:39:25,503
about me and Sullivan, of all people?
817
00:39:25,527 --> 00:39:28,806
He said he thought we were together
818
00:39:28,830 --> 00:39:31,442
because of something he saw at
the hospital or something.
819
00:39:31,466 --> 00:39:33,250
Yeah, I saw that, too.
820
00:39:33,935 --> 00:39:35,947
That wasn't anything.
821
00:39:35,971 --> 00:39:38,782
We're not... I mean,
I'm... I'm definitely not...
822
00:39:38,806 --> 00:39:40,249
No?
823
00:39:40,273 --> 00:39:42,486
- No.
- Mm.
824
00:39:44,277 --> 00:39:46,055
You sure about that?
825
00:39:48,983 --> 00:39:50,159
Once the bell rings...
826
00:39:52,319 --> 00:39:53,830
...it can't be un-rung.
827
00:39:53,854 --> 00:39:56,165
- Just my usual, please.
- Got it.
828
00:39:56,189 --> 00:39:58,768
Um, just so you know,
I'm about to take off.
829
00:39:58,792 --> 00:40:00,604
Phil will be taking over for me.
830
00:40:00,628 --> 00:40:02,506
So if you need anything else
831
00:40:02,530 --> 00:40:04,474
or your husband's coming later,
832
00:40:04,498 --> 00:40:06,342
I could go ahead and
put an order in now for you.
833
00:40:06,366 --> 00:40:08,077
- Just let me know.
- Okay, thanks, Cam.
834
00:40:08,101 --> 00:40:09,078
You're welcome.
835
00:40:09,102 --> 00:40:10,847
There's no more denying it.
836
00:40:10,871 --> 00:40:13,282
The end is here.
837
00:40:13,306 --> 00:40:15,418
Okay.
838
00:40:15,442 --> 00:40:17,553
I'm calling it. Let's get you home.
839
00:40:17,577 --> 00:40:19,222
- But it's so early.
- Hey. Two more of these.
840
00:40:19,246 --> 00:40:20,623
Hey, no, no, no, no, no, no. None for me.
841
00:40:20,647 --> 00:40:22,125
I-I got to get home to Miranda, you know?
842
00:40:22,149 --> 00:40:24,360
I can give you a ride or call you one.
843
00:40:24,384 --> 00:40:25,461
I don't know.
844
00:40:25,485 --> 00:40:28,197
I've got, uh, some mistakes
to make tonight, Warren.
845
00:40:28,221 --> 00:40:29,999
- Yeah.
- But, uh, I'll get a cab.
846
00:40:30,023 --> 00:40:31,034
Don't worry. Go home.
847
00:40:33,193 --> 00:40:34,270
- Alright.
- Yeah, yeah.
848
00:40:36,163 --> 00:40:37,523
See you later.
849
00:40:37,926 --> 00:40:39,075
I'll take a beer.
850
00:40:43,403 --> 00:40:45,080
How's it going?
851
00:40:45,104 --> 00:40:46,481
I'm Jeremy.
852
00:40:46,505 --> 00:40:48,016
I'm Travis.
853
00:40:48,040 --> 00:40:49,284
I know.
854
00:40:49,308 --> 00:40:50,485
You do?
855
00:40:50,509 --> 00:40:51,770
Yeah, you're the one who's friends
856
00:40:51,794 --> 00:40:54,022
with Ripley's little side hustle...
857
00:40:54,046 --> 00:40:55,323
Hughes, right?
858
00:40:55,347 --> 00:40:59,027
She looked wrecked at that ceremony.
859
00:40:59,051 --> 00:41:00,128
Come on, man.
860
00:41:00,152 --> 00:41:02,097
Give me the scoop.
861
00:41:02,121 --> 00:41:03,965
You need to stop talking right now.
862
00:41:03,989 --> 00:41:06,428
Oh, don't tell me you're
getting a piece of that, too.
863
00:41:06,453 --> 00:41:07,969
Whoa, whoa!
864
00:41:07,993 --> 00:41:10,972
The bell rings to say the shift is over.
865
00:41:12,864 --> 00:41:14,176
Hey, uh, Cam?
866
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,178
Oh. Need something else?
867
00:41:19,770 --> 00:41:23,306
You know the, uh... the guy
I'm always in here with?
868
00:41:25,443 --> 00:41:27,489
He's not my husband.
869
00:41:28,699 --> 00:41:31,024
And I, uh...
870
00:41:31,048 --> 00:41:35,629
I lied to you before
when you asked where he was.
871
00:41:35,653 --> 00:41:37,231
He wasn't at work.
872
00:41:40,391 --> 00:41:44,905
He wasn't a-at work...
873
00:41:46,631 --> 00:41:49,009
...because he died.
874
00:41:56,773 --> 00:41:58,784
That's, um...
875
00:42:00,477 --> 00:42:02,021
That... That sucks.
876
00:42:02,045 --> 00:42:04,257
The bell rings to say goodbye.
877
00:42:07,018 --> 00:42:08,461
Yeah, it super does.
878
00:42:08,485 --> 00:42:10,330
The bell rings to say...
879
00:42:11,921 --> 00:42:14,370
...it's time to go home.
62905
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