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1
00:00:06,025 --> 00:00:09,015
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
2
00:00:37,539 --> 00:00:38,658
Really?
3
00:00:39,579 --> 00:00:41,310
When there's nothing
wrong with your arm?
4
00:00:42,579 --> 00:00:43,985
Where did you get it from, anyway?
5
00:00:44,118 --> 00:00:45,198
You can buy them online.
6
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,280
- And who signed it?
- Kids.
7
00:00:47,524 --> 00:00:49,024
There are loads of signatures on there.
8
00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:50,184
Yeah, they were at it for ages.
9
00:00:50,209 --> 00:00:52,494
They were making up names,
trying out different autographs.
10
00:00:52,519 --> 00:00:54,295
It turned into quite
an educational exercise.
11
00:00:54,613 --> 00:00:55,914
Oh, you're a marvelous father.
12
00:00:55,939 --> 00:00:57,700
They'll be able to forge anything now.
13
00:00:58,533 --> 00:01:00,068
So, if you bought it online,
14
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,328
it clearly wasn't a
spur-of-the-moment decision.
15
00:01:02,938 --> 00:01:04,985
- Next-day delivery.
- So you thought about it yesterday?
16
00:01:05,279 --> 00:01:06,279
Yeah.
17
00:01:07,707 --> 00:01:08,897
The day before yesterday, anyway.
18
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:10,698
So two days ago you were worrying
19
00:01:10,723 --> 00:01:12,183
what to say to Kenyon about your arm?
20
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:14,582
We told her that I'd broken
it. I haven't broken it.
21
00:01:14,702 --> 00:01:15,970
She'll be relieved to hear it.
22
00:01:16,123 --> 00:01:17,456
But we cancelled the
session because of it.
23
00:01:17,481 --> 00:01:18,700
Just tell hell her it was badly bruised.
24
00:01:18,725 --> 00:01:20,255
- It is badly bruised.
- Show her the bruising.
25
00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:21,623
- It's internal.
- Oh, my God.
26
00:01:21,648 --> 00:01:23,458
Kenyon will feel like the
bloody prime minister.
27
00:01:23,483 --> 00:01:26,094
There's a plan and a goal but
she's firefighting all the time.
28
00:01:26,119 --> 00:01:27,662
You run away. You fall over.
29
00:01:27,687 --> 00:01:29,998
You pretend your arm
is broken when it isn't.
30
00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:33,083
We never get anywhere near
the actual marital problems.
31
00:01:33,591 --> 00:01:35,470
You do know that I'm gonna walk in there
32
00:01:35,495 --> 00:01:37,822
and tell her that the
cast is fake, don't you?
33
00:01:38,108 --> 00:01:39,833
- What?
- Well, why wouldn't I?
34
00:01:40,767 --> 00:01:42,911
- You'd grass me up?
- You haven't been arrested.
35
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,885
- It's a marital therapy session.
- Oh, my God.
36
00:01:46,005 --> 00:01:48,539
We go in and we tell the truth.
Otherwise, what's the point?
37
00:01:48,564 --> 00:01:50,732
Well, we don't have to tell her
the truth about everything.
38
00:01:50,977 --> 00:01:54,856
I mean, if I had an STD, would
you want to talk about that?
39
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:57,325
Very much so, yeah, seeing
as I haven't given it to you.
40
00:01:57,350 --> 00:01:58,588
- Yet.
- Charming.
41
00:01:58,742 --> 00:02:00,429
To be fair, I'm not the one
who slept with someone else.
42
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:02,724
If I had given you an STD,
43
00:02:03,038 --> 00:02:05,334
then yes, absolutely, we
should be talking about.
44
00:02:05,359 --> 00:02:08,158
- It would be a big deal.
- Okay, STD is a bad example.
45
00:02:08,261 --> 00:02:11,745
But what if I'd hurt my
penis in some way?
46
00:02:12,098 --> 00:02:13,399
Would we go in and talk about that?
47
00:02:13,799 --> 00:02:15,393
- If you wanted to talk about it.
- I wouldn't.
48
00:02:15,871 --> 00:02:17,706
Okay. What if you hadn't hurt your penis
49
00:02:18,238 --> 00:02:20,548
but went in to see Kenyon,
pretending that you had?
50
00:02:20,573 --> 00:02:21,608
Why would I do that?
51
00:02:21,633 --> 00:02:23,338
Why would you put a fake cast on
your arm? What's the difference?
52
00:02:23,363 --> 00:02:24,953
Because I didn't tell her
that I'd broken my penis.
53
00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:26,132
You can't break your penis.
54
00:02:26,246 --> 00:02:27,881
I'm perfectly well aware of that.
55
00:02:28,181 --> 00:02:30,148
I told her that I had broken my arm.
56
00:02:32,418 --> 00:02:35,052
- You know, this is a big moment for us.
- Explain.
57
00:02:35,775 --> 00:02:36,838
You need to choose.
58
00:02:37,257 --> 00:02:38,733
Are you with me, are you with her?
59
00:02:38,758 --> 00:02:40,608
- I'm not gonna play that game.
- It's not a game.
60
00:02:41,928 --> 00:02:44,772
Are we a couple, two against
the world, or aren't we?
61
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:45,940
Two against the world?
62
00:02:45,965 --> 00:02:47,734
That's what marriage is to me.
63
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,107
You've just made that
up because of the cast.
64
00:02:51,394 --> 00:02:52,574
Where do the kids fit in?
65
00:02:52,836 --> 00:02:55,391
- I'm against them, most of the time.
- Well, I'm not.
66
00:02:55,681 --> 00:02:58,982
Okay, fine. Then, the four
of us against the world.
67
00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:01,719
- That's family, not marriage.
- You know what I'm saying.
68
00:03:01,744 --> 00:03:04,513
I don't think I've ever thought it was
the two of us against the world.
69
00:03:05,809 --> 00:03:06,809
Ha.
70
00:03:07,887 --> 00:03:10,300
Okay, well, now we're getting somewhere.
71
00:03:10,890 --> 00:03:12,467
What has the world ever done to us?
72
00:03:12,492 --> 00:03:13,768
We're hardly Romeo and Juliet.
73
00:03:13,793 --> 00:03:16,304
Oh, go on. You're in
a hole. Keep digging.
74
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,475
How is it a hole to say we're
not Romeo and Juliet?
75
00:03:18,570 --> 00:03:20,775
- Well, it's not very romantic.
- So, in your fantasy,
76
00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:22,143
we're two love-struck teenagers
77
00:03:22,168 --> 00:03:23,842
whose families don't
want us to be together?
78
00:03:23,867 --> 00:03:26,271
Obviously we're not teenagers
but there's the age gap.
79
00:03:26,564 --> 00:03:29,485
- Four years.
- And the arts/sciences divide,
80
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:34,281
sort of a modern
Montague/Capulet kind of thing.
81
00:03:34,519 --> 00:03:36,424
I mean, it's subtle but it's there.
82
00:03:37,484 --> 00:03:40,401
A very faint whiff of,
"Oh, how does this work?
83
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:42,698
Her a doctor, him a music critic."
84
00:03:43,356 --> 00:03:44,680
First of all, no it isn't there
85
00:03:44,724 --> 00:03:47,468
and secondly, you need
more than faint whiffs.
86
00:03:47,493 --> 00:03:50,171
The Montagues and Capulets
stabbed each other.
87
00:03:50,196 --> 00:03:52,961
They weren't... whiffing faintly.
88
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:56,225
Granted there was no stabbing
but there was family pressure.
89
00:03:56,536 --> 00:03:57,845
My mother didn't want me to marry you.
90
00:03:58,013 --> 00:03:59,849
- She warned me off.
- She warned me off.
91
00:04:00,006 --> 00:04:01,816
She told me that I was
way too good for you,
92
00:04:01,841 --> 00:04:04,852
that you were bloody hopeless
and I would end up leaving you.
93
00:04:04,877 --> 00:04:06,588
- What did she say to you?
- Exactly the same.
94
00:04:06,613 --> 00:04:08,248
- That you were too good for me?
- Ha.
95
00:04:08,962 --> 00:04:10,676
Have you met my mother? Of course not.
96
00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:12,453
But that's not the point. The point is,
97
00:04:13,119 --> 00:04:15,302
I said, "To hell with her,"
and I married you anyway.
98
00:04:16,155 --> 00:04:18,699
- Us against the world.
- Us against your mother anyway.
99
00:04:20,204 --> 00:04:23,807
The rest of the world responded with
pleasure or complete indifference.
100
00:04:23,990 --> 00:04:25,021
Would you...
101
00:04:25,798 --> 00:04:28,801
Would... would you honestly say
that you're on my team?
102
00:04:29,251 --> 00:04:30,814
Of course I'm on your team.
103
00:04:31,938 --> 00:04:34,413
I support you for a start. That's
what you do with teams, isn't it?
104
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:38,501
That was a low blow.
105
00:04:39,088 --> 00:04:41,398
Saying you support
someone is a low blow?
106
00:04:41,981 --> 00:04:44,603
I want you to do well.
I worry about you. I...
107
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:47,687
Well, I... love you.
108
00:04:48,143 --> 00:04:52,127
"Well"? What's the "well" doing there?
What function does it serve?
109
00:04:52,567 --> 00:04:54,852
- It was just, I... I hesitated.
- Why?
110
00:04:55,738 --> 00:04:58,290
People hesitate. Hesitation is a thing.
111
00:04:58,331 --> 00:05:00,443
You hesitate when you don't know
what to order at a restaurant,
112
00:05:00,468 --> 00:05:01,648
not telling someone you love them.
113
00:05:01,854 --> 00:05:04,045
Love is a bigger deal than
ordering a pizza, surely?
114
00:05:04,070 --> 00:05:06,107
If you're 16 maybe, not
when you're married.
115
00:05:07,373 --> 00:05:09,157
You know why you
hesitate when you're 16?
116
00:05:09,208 --> 00:05:11,604
Because you're scared you're
gonna look a fool, not because you...
117
00:05:12,282 --> 00:05:13,620
- Well...
- More welling.
118
00:05:13,792 --> 00:05:15,026
Well this, well that.
119
00:05:15,297 --> 00:05:17,040
"Well" is fast becoming
a very dangerous word.
120
00:05:17,065 --> 00:05:18,555
It's not because you have doubts.
121
00:05:21,427 --> 00:05:23,753
- You have doubts?
- Don't you?
122
00:05:24,018 --> 00:05:25,466
- No.
- That is a lie.
123
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:28,127
How can you not have doubts?
You don't want to sleep with me.
124
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:29,551
We spend half the time arguing.
125
00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:31,542
You seem happier with
other people than with me.
126
00:05:31,733 --> 00:05:35,764
I suppose my... my "well" was
meant to indicate, you know,
127
00:05:36,736 --> 00:05:38,002
underneath it all...
128
00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:40,907
Underneath it all, I...
129
00:05:42,107 --> 00:05:43,178
I love you.
130
00:05:44,061 --> 00:05:45,268
Underneath it all?
131
00:05:45,825 --> 00:05:46,927
- Yeah.
- Great.
132
00:05:47,080 --> 00:05:49,423
Well, I think you should be
happy with that. I mean...
133
00:05:50,940 --> 00:05:54,194
You know, to be honest, you're
lucky there's anything still there.
134
00:05:58,257 --> 00:05:59,751
Well, let me ask you this.
135
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,679
How would you feel if I
left you for someone else?
136
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:05,702
- Well...
- Fucking hell.
137
00:06:06,107 --> 00:06:08,376
God, you really don't like
considered conversation, do you?
138
00:06:08,401 --> 00:06:10,138
I notice you didn't ask
if I had met someone.
139
00:06:12,972 --> 00:06:14,592
- Have you met someone?
- Well
140
00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:15,830
Oh, very funny.
141
00:06:16,209 --> 00:06:18,753
- Aren't I allowed to consider?
- Because either you have or you haven't
142
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:21,772
- and I don't think you have.
- There are lots of grey areas.
143
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:24,701
- Such as?
- Online dating.
144
00:06:25,485 --> 00:06:28,085
You know you actually have to go
out to do online dating, don't you?
145
00:06:28,125 --> 00:06:29,127
No, you don't.
146
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,350
Do you? I thought you did it online.
147
00:06:33,442 --> 00:06:35,903
Well, you talk to someone
online and then you meet them.
148
00:06:35,928 --> 00:06:36,981
Oh.
149
00:06:37,364 --> 00:06:39,099
And you haven't been
anywhere that I know of.
150
00:06:39,223 --> 00:06:41,085
You don't know what I do during the day.
151
00:06:42,239 --> 00:06:43,261
Well...
152
00:06:43,737 --> 00:06:46,752
no, but if you had gone out
to meet someone during the day
153
00:06:46,777 --> 00:06:48,316
that wouldn't be a grey area, would it?
154
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,715
You would have met someone.
155
00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,392
Would you like to meet someone?
156
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,447
Not really, no.
157
00:06:56,315 --> 00:06:58,263
Where would that leave us,
as a matter of interest?
158
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:00,890
- Are you asking about an open marriage?
- God, no!
159
00:07:01,979 --> 00:07:03,835
- Is that what you want?
- No, it's not what I want.
160
00:07:03,860 --> 00:07:06,868
No, if you met someone, you would
be moving out of this marriage
161
00:07:06,893 --> 00:07:08,701
and into a new relationship.
162
00:07:09,794 --> 00:07:10,794
Well...
163
00:07:13,129 --> 00:07:14,271
How about you?
164
00:07:14,998 --> 00:07:16,778
Well, I suppose that's
the fantasy, isn't it?
165
00:07:17,009 --> 00:07:19,077
- Is it?
- Yeah. I mean, you know it is.
166
00:07:19,102 --> 00:07:20,604
You know, the fantasy is...
167
00:07:20,940 --> 00:07:22,750
When you've been married for a few years
168
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:24,108
and everything's gone off a bit,
169
00:07:24,577 --> 00:07:28,156
the fantasy is you come home
and your partner says
170
00:07:28,181 --> 00:07:29,775
he's met someone else and is moving out.
171
00:07:30,092 --> 00:07:32,026
I don't suppose that's
everyone's fantasy.
172
00:07:32,051 --> 00:07:33,449
Oh, it is, believe me.
173
00:07:35,284 --> 00:07:36,284
Is it yours?
174
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:39,578
- Well...
- Oh, that'll do.
175
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,573
- Can I leave my cast on?
- Oh, what the hell.
176
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:46,621
Thank you.
177
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:49,720
- TOM: Oh, shit.
- Oh, we're late.
178
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,014
LOUISE: Oh, hello.
179
00:07:53,039 --> 00:07:55,374
- Hello, you two.
- Oh, my God. Hi.
180
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:57,571
- How are you?
- Oh, hello.
181
00:07:57,596 --> 00:08:00,112
- Hi. Good.
- What happened there?
182
00:08:00,379 --> 00:08:04,363
Oh, yeah, bloody... snowboards.
183
00:08:04,892 --> 00:08:06,260
Where have you been snowboarding?
184
00:08:06,285 --> 00:08:08,513
Well, just, you know, all over, really.
185
00:08:09,134 --> 00:08:11,562
- We haven't seen you in ages.
- Stay for a drink.
186
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:13,199
- We can't.
- Another time.
187
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,803
Wait, you're not going
to the cinema, are you?
188
00:08:15,127 --> 00:08:17,036
- Yes.
- Well, then, we're all right.
189
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:19,347
We've got 20 minutes. That's
for the trailers, not the film.
190
00:08:19,774 --> 00:08:22,194
It's useful to know. That's good, yeah.
191
00:08:22,821 --> 00:08:25,438
- We're not going to the cinema.
- No, we're not.
192
00:08:25,502 --> 00:08:26,502
- Oh.
- Oh.
193
00:08:26,862 --> 00:08:28,589
- We do have an appointment.
- Sure.
194
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,551
Yeah. Oh, we'd love to see you sometime.
195
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:32,531
Maybe you could come round for supper?
196
00:08:32,612 --> 00:08:35,237
Or we could meet you halfway for dinner?
197
00:08:35,414 --> 00:08:37,197
- Yeah.
- Yeah, lots to catch up on.
198
00:08:37,706 --> 00:08:40,027
- I can see you're in a rush.
- Lovely. We must seem very rude.
199
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:42,777
- There is a good reason for it.
- It's marital therapy.
200
00:08:43,456 --> 00:08:46,301
And you know how
therapists are if you're late.
201
00:08:46,628 --> 00:08:48,003
Oh, no.
202
00:08:48,654 --> 00:08:49,654
Afraid so.
203
00:08:51,998 --> 00:08:53,082
Spot of infidelity.
204
00:08:54,834 --> 00:08:55,848
Not me.
205
00:08:58,204 --> 00:09:00,551
Anyway, we best be off.
206
00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:03,476
- Yeah. Sure.
- Yeah.
207
00:09:04,410 --> 00:09:06,122
- Bye.
- Bye.
208
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:08,789
- What the fuck?
- I'm sorry. I panicked.
209
00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:10,488
I didn't know how to
break off the conversation.
210
00:09:10,650 --> 00:09:13,316
- I cannot believe you just did that.
- No, me neither.
211
00:09:13,853 --> 00:09:15,459
Throw that stupid thing away.
16662
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