Original subtitles

Previously on Doom Patrol...

I must've seen this ad 100 times as a girl.

It's like he just walked out of the comic book.

The Hero of the Beach is Flex Mentallo.

The machine's taking over. And I can't stop it.

I just found out Flex Mentallo has a wife named Dolores.

She's old as fuck, but she's still alive.

You're the genius who got a talking street

to tell us that Flex is the key to finding the Chief.

- You must be Dolores. - Look at my elbow.

The Bureau of Normalcy.

I was one of their assets.

- For years, they tortured me. - Where?

Welcome to the Ant Farm.

Let me out!

Hey, buddy? You're looking for a way out? Trying to escape?

- Who're you? - 722.

It is an absolute pleasure to be

- in your presence again, Trainor. - Forsythe.

Your friends are getting free,

but you're the last piece.

Under certain conditions, these nanites...

they can go rogue.

- There would be nothing left of your son. - Your point?

You made me this. A monster.

Oh, wow. Look, it's Flex Mentallo.

Hi, Flex.

Hi, Dolores.

Morning, Flex. How's it going?

- Gentlemen. - Hi, Dolores.

Here you go, my dear.

How you doin'?

"Our hometown hero, Flex Mentallo,

has done it again, folks."

Oh, boy.

Here we go.

"Dr. Saucer's attempted robbery of the local aquarium

was thwarted by our very own

Man of Muscle Mystery."

"He made short work of the dastardly dish-head

by manipulating the vibrational wavelengths

of his magnificent muscles."

"From the bottom of our hearts,

this town thanks you, Mr. Mentallo."

My dear man,

perfect as your body is,

your best flex will always be your smile.

That laugh lights me up, Dolly.

It was all dark before you.

You're the light of my life.

Help. Help! Someone help!

Someone help!

Help me, please!

Oh, no.

What seems to be the trouble, young man?

That's right,

it's me, Flex Mentallo, Man of Muscle Mystery.

How can I be of service?

Ah. I see.

That is troubling.

I think we could do something about that.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty...

That's a good kitty.

Oh, look at you. So fuzzy, cozy kitty.

Target acquired.

--

The miscreations have taken control.

I need every man still standing to gear up!

This is about containment now!

Dad?

Dad, wake up.

I killed him.

I...

He's still alive.

But we have to get him out of here.

Jane, tell Flit to do the thing.

- "Tell" her? - Oh, boy.

Jesus Christ. You know what I mean!

Sorry if I missed the subtext of your incredibly blunt directive.

Why don't you mansplain it to me?

If there ever was a time for you to let something go,

this is that time!

Not how it works, dude.

Come on! We need to get the fuck out of here, Jane!

Please don't kill me!

Say...

Do I know you?

But we're not supposed to leave our rooms without permission.

Hey!

- Hey! My clicker! - Guys, he's loosing blood.

Or did you forget about that?

Who the fuck are you?

Well, you sure do swear a lot.

722?

You almost look...

But it couldn't be you, could it?

- Jane, would you please talk to Flit? - What is it, Rita?

Take away the ratty beard and the baggy jumpsuit,

and I swear he looks just like Flex Mentallo.

From Mentall-O's cereal?

From the funny book Danny gave us.

If we don't leave right now, we ain't fucking leaving!

Stop those abominations! Go!

- Jane! - Everybody grab on.

Stop those abominations!

Balls!

Thank you. Is that so fuckin' hard?

Got it.

Where am I?

Also, does anyone else feel,

a little pukey?

- Where did you take them? - The hospital.

You just left them there?

As opposed to?

Vic can't be alone right now.

He's fragile. And possibly psychotic.

Who... Who is Vic?

- Now it's Flitapalooza. - Now he's not alone.

What a mess.

No. No.

Guys, we actually did something right.

We went to rescue Vic, and we motherhumping did it.

Up top!

He nearly beat his father to death.

And that's terrible.

Really, really fucking terrible.

I don't think it should tar our accomplishment.

We saved a superhero.

Us. The fuck-ups.

I think we deserve a small pat on the back for that.

And we found Flex Mentallo.

He's some kinda clue to finding Niles, right?

So it's not one, but two things we nailed. Whoo!

Let's hear it. Yeah! Whoo!

Who's Flex Mentallo?

You are.

Am I?

God damn it.

You know, I'm feeling a bit pukey myself.

Think I'll go lay down.

Look, we're not attached at the hip anymore, okay?

You don't have to be everywhere I am.

Look, it's nothing personal. I'm just tired.

And it's a little hard to sleep with a six-foot nightlight...

--

How do you like your suit, Captain Trainor? Comfortable?

It weighs a ton and smells like a chemical fire.

But on the bright side there's plenty of room

to flail around when you electrocute me.

See, we took that very issue into consideration

while we were designing it.

We're going to take a break with that treatment

in favor of something new.

What?

The being inside you

has refused to evidence itself

since that first encounter.

What are you gonna do to me?

What the hell is that thing?

Is something supposed to happen?

Oh, it's happening.

You see, this device produces a frequency

imperceptible to human ears.

But to your luminescent friend? Well,

in theory, it should be giving him one doozy of a headache.

Tell me, Captain Trainor,

can you hear it screaming inside of you?

I can't say that I do.

But if you wanna try your hand at torturing it

instead of me for a while, then be my guest.

What do you think would happen to you

if your host dies, hmm?

I didn't want to commence this particular experiment just yet,

but I might be persuaded otherwise.

Good.

I expect the next time that I ask to see you...

I won't be left to wait.

Hey, pal, you okay in there?

What? Who the hell are you?

Sounded like you were screaming bloody murder.

No. No, that wasn't me.

I don't mean nothing by it. It's just...

Well, it sounded bad is all.

I'm not embarrassed. I'm stating a fact.

I was unconscious. The...

The screaming was probably from...

Wait.

- You could hear it? - And then some.

Is there something in there with you?

So to speak.

Look, I don't feel like talking anymore, okay?

Well, say, pal, what's your name?

721.

Your real name.

Doesn't matter.

Sounds like you've been in here a while.

I tried to keep track of the days at first, but...

it just made things worse.

Well, I'm not planning on sticking around here long enough to find out.

Here, have a look.

What the...

- How did you... - Muscle Mystery powers, bub.

They got these things all over me to tamp it down.

If you could just reach in here

and yank out some of these cords,

I can open up a hole big enough for us to walk through.

No. Are you... No. There's no escaping this place.

- Don't you wanna at least try? - Stop talking to me.

Come on, pal.

Jesus, what...

I'm Flex Mentallo.

Man of Muscle Mystery. What...

Nice to meet you, too.

Where are you from there, Sparky?

What is that, some kind of other...

dimension or...

I'm sure I can get you back there.

I can open up a door to anywhere.

You will?

That's fantastic.

Alls you got to do is reach in here and yank out some of these...

Shh! Hold on. Hold on.

Modesty is what separates us from the animals, 722.

Let's get you dressed.

My name is Flex Mentallo.

Again.

Who is this handsome devil?

It's you.

I don't think so, Scrap.

I still have that thing on my head, don't I?

Hey, Jane, can you help me out with this?

--

You just ripped the "S" off, didn't you?

Hey, hey.

You were the cartoon mascot for a kid cereal,

created by an adman named Wally Sage.

Do you remember Wally?

I don't know.

Why were you at the Ant Farm?

What's your super power?

I don't know.

How did you get out of the ad?

And if you say "I don't know" again,

I'll make you eat your beard.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

We can ask this ding-dong questions till the end of time,

it's not gonna get us any closer to finding the Chief.

Did you say "the Chief"?

You know him?

Well, I certainly do.

And let me tell you something, friends. That Chief,

well, he's a real no good son-of-a-you-know-what.

- What'd he do? - Well, nothing,

considering that he died 20 years ago.

- Wait. What? - Look, shitbag,

I've known the Chief for 50 years.

And if he had died, I would've noticed.

Well, not if his identical twin brother replaced him.

- Whoa. Say what now? - His name was Nic.

And their mother had to give him up at birth to a gypsy woman.

The Chief never knew of his existence.

- The fuck? - Yeah.

Nic grew up so full of hate and rage,

that by the time that he met Chief,

he murdered him and stole his life.

And then, fathered a love child with the Chief's wife,

Joanna Heart, who, as it turns out,

was their sister.

And she was in a coma when she gave birth, right?

Yeah.

He's talking about Chief Kinkaid from Secret Hearts,

some fucking crappy soap opera.

- It's not crappy. - You know,

I was actually on that show once.

Special guest star.

Really? Who were you?

I played myself,

famous race car driver Cliff Steele.

Barf.

I don't remember that one.

What else is fucking new?

I don't know what to do.

Say, who is this handsome devil?

Still you, dum-dum.

He looks like the type of person I'd like to be.

Take off your clothes.

Jane, I don't think we can ask him...

Okay.

Yeah.

The doctor said he's going to be fine.

No.

She said he was stable.

- Vic, don't. - Don't what?

Mr. Nobody didn't plant that seed of doubt in my head,

I did that all on my own.

He just twisted it until...

My dad just wanted me to re-install Grid.

He was trying to save me.

I just couldn't see it.

Your head is clear now.

We need you to turn Grid back on.

Do you remember the tracker I put on the Beard Hunter?

Without Grid, it's useless.

The longer we wait to go after him, the further away he'll get.

If we can find the Beard Hunter,

- we can find the Chief. - I can't.

Yes, you can.

Mr. Nobody was playing with your head, you know that.

- There's nothing to be afraid of... - How can I be sure?

Because you just said...

I know what I said.

Knowing doesn't change how I feel.

Mr. Nobody told us

not to go after him.

We should have listened.

Do you have any idea what you're doing?

Nope.

Sorry. Just...

Robot fingers.

Too bad no one in the Underground went to beauty school.

Did they?

Speaking of, how's everyone doing down there?

Never mind.

Cool.

Sorry. Sorry.

It's just we haven't had a chance to talk about what happened in there

and I wanted to make sure that you and the others were...

I don't wanna talk about the Underground.

Bring it up again and I'll do to your brain

what I'm doing to this chump's hair.

Are you mad at me for going in there?

- Because technically it wasn't... - Finished!

- Ta-da. - God...

I look incredible.

Kinda like that hunk on that cereal box.

If he'd been stabbed in the face repeatedly.

You are that hunk, dummy.

I don't think so.

Hey, I just remembered.

What?

Secret Hearts is on in five minutes.

Oh, fuck me.

after the news broke that Steve Larson,

better known as Animal Vegetable Mineral Man,

had reached an immunity deal with federal prosecutors

in exchange for information about a mysterious medical facility

hidden deep in a Paraguayan jungle.

As Larson approached the courthouse

where he was set to give his testimony,

he was viciously gunned down

by a man authorities are calling

a devotee to mad Nazi scientist

Heinrich Von Fuchs.

We have no comment! Stop talking!

Shut up!

Von Fuchs is uber!

Von Fuchs is uber!

Von Fuchs is uber!

No fighting! No fighting!

No, no, no... No fighting!

Thankfully, Larson was only shot in the minerals,

and is expected to make a full recovery.

The assassin, identified by authorities as Gary Gunnam,

was apprehended on site.

His arraignment is set for early next...

Here I am.

Eye witnesses

said it was practically impossible to hear...

Oh, excuse... Excuse me, miss?

Are you a doctor?

Oh, no, no.

It's impossible

to find your room

in this cockamie place.

Well, I'd really like to go lay down.

Of course.

- Thank you, miss... - Rita.

Rita.

And away we go.

Away we go is right, yeah.

Do you remember your room number?

No. No.

But I'm sure if we wander around a little,

we'll find it.

Yeah.

I'm telling you, Chief Kinkaid, the Port Charlotte Ripper is back.

I did the autopsies on all his victims.

This is his M.O.

That's impossible, Dr. Winslow.

The Port Charlotte Ripper was executed last summer.

- Unless... - You arrested the wrong man.

- Damn it. - Oh, my God.

This is bad!

Was it always this bad?

'Cause I do not remember it being this bad.

- It's true. - Jeez.

And I don't care that you ran off and married that Japanese sex robot.

I've never stopped loving you.

Kinkaid, please.

The Takumi-3000 will never love you

the way that I love you.

We tried the carrot to jiggle this chump's memory.

Maybe it's time to jab him with a stick.

Uh, okay.

What if we try to trigger his super power?

Maybe using it will jog something loose.

And if it doesn't, well, at least we'll know what he can do.

Oh, no. Dead.

Then we can figure out how to use it to find the Chief.

My name is Natalia.

And I'm not a doctor.

Trigger his power how exactly?

- Through duress. - Duress?

- Duress. - Duress.

- Let's do this. - "Let's"? Meaning me.

He got his panties in a wad when you talked over his stories.

Go over there and try it again.

Only this time, don't let up.

- That's it? That's the plan? - You got a problem, shitstain?

Go!

Hey, buddy. How's the episode?

Which one is the...

Jeez.

Perhaps I should find a family member to come help you.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, if you do find a family member to help me,

then I'm going to nominate you for a Nobel Peace Prize.

They just left you here all alone?

Well, technically, but I...

I left before them.

I skipped out...

middle of the night.

Never looked back.

The worst thing I ever done.

Well, if that's the worst thing you ever did...

- Yeah. - consider yourself lucky.

Oh, yeah?

You're a saint compared to me.

Stop it.

A nice girl like you, you'd never have done a thing like that.

- I'm not a "nice girl." - Well...

I've made mistakes.

My friend is in trouble, I want to help him.

But someone is threatening to use those mistakes against me.

I'm powerless.

Yeah. If you ask me,

we have to own our mistakes.

No matter how terrible.

I'm an actress.

I was an actress.

The warmth of the spotlight, it's...

intoxicating.

When that light goes out, you're willing to do

just about anything to get it back.

When you reach a certain age in this business,

the phones don't ring quite as frequently as they used to.

That's when I met Gene Stanton...

World-renowned, six-time Oscar winning film producer.

I know what you're thinking, and no.

Despite his best efforts,

nothing ever happened between Gene and I.

He reeked of Acqua di Parma and cheap cigars.

And I had my self-respect.

And one day Gene asked for a favor.

It seemed so simple at the time.

Gene had his eye on a young Hollywood starlet,

and all I had to do was arrange for them to meet.

Beverly Hills Hotel, 9:00 p.m.

One year later,

that actress was bawling her way through an Oscar speech.

I was getting offers again. And Gene...

got what Gene wanted.

It was a win-win-win.

So, I arranged another meeting for him.

And another. And another.

Each girl rose to stardom.

And my phone kept ringing.

And then came Marybeth Wooten.

She had her meeting with Gene.

And nine months later, there was a baby.

Gene wasn't about to step up and become a father.

That poor girl didn't have anyone,

so she came to me.

I gave her...

$100.

And I sent her on her way.

I told myself that she would find the grit

to pull herself up.

But deep down,

I knew better.

A week later,

there it was, in the paper.

Marybeth had taken her own life.

No mention of the baby.

It was like it never even existed.

For a brief, guilt-soaked moment,

I considered

taking responsibility for the child,

but then my phone rang.

I got the lead role

in a sweeping big-budget epic called Forbidden Congo.

I was in the spotlight again.

And it was just as warm as I remembered.

Looking the other way should be so much harder

than it actually is.

Everything that happened to me on that picture,

and everything that happened after...

I deserved all of it.

I, too, have spent a lifetime

searching for absolution.

But it will never come.

I think...

you got your power back, kiddo.

Sir, it's been five hours.

I'm not sure it can take much more of this.

Maybe it's time we let it re-enter Trainor's body.

Just a little bit longer.

Sir, we don't have an SI base unit

to quantify whatever this thing is,

but there's been a significant drop off

in what we can measure.

Coulombs, volts, amperes, joules...

They're all plummeting.

Meaning?

I think it's dying, sir.

Where ya been, Sparky? You okay?

What?

I'm not talking to you, bub.

Jeez, Sparky.

I'm gonna get you out of here right now.

Hey, pal.

Me and Sparky are gonna blow this joint.

He says you got to come with us.

Look, I told you to leave me alone.

No can-do-ski.

Apparently he can't go nowhere without you.

So, why don't you take your chicken wing there,

reach through this here hole,

and pull out some of these dang cords, would ya?

I can't. If this suit gets damaged

I'd be putting thousands of people at risk.

What? Come on.

There's no place for me out there.

They're torturing your friend in here, man.

I can't, okay? I can't.

I can't.

- I can't. - Come on, man! They're coming!

We got no time, you gotta make a move here!

Come on! Just reach your hand...

Damn it!

Perhaps our good friend, 722,

will agree to come quietly this afternoon.

My name is Flex Mentallo.

I see.

Perhaps this will change your mind.

A boob tube?

Really?

This is your grand plan to subdue me?

Well,

you can fight this all you want, 722.

But the simple fact is

you're no longer who you once were.

You're the property of the US government.

So I suggest

you fall into rank.

Or what?

Let me go.

Please.

- You have no right to do this. - Get away from my wife.

Get away!

Get away from my wife!

Wonder how she'll smell when she's burning.

Dolly. No, no, no, no!

Stop that.

Stop!

Stop!

Careful. One wrong move and, well...

Let her go! She...

She's got nothing to do with this, man!

We're reasonable people.

Now, if you play by the rules,

maybe we'll allow you to

tune in next week and see her again.

Same time.

Same place.

All we want

is for you to be the hero

that you are, 722.

Sorry, Sparky.

I beg your pardon?

Follow me.

All those years...

Because of me.

Then what?

I... I can't understand you like Flex can.

What do you want me to see?

Dolores.

There is love that we have in the open...

then there's what's hidden in the depths of our secret hearts.

More chocolate sauce?

Yeah? Yeah! Yeah.

Waco, waco. waco, waco.

I'm a pole position man myself, Billy.

Holy smokes, it's my hero,

race car driver Cliff Steele.

That's right, Billy. I'm here to make you feel better.

I'm race car driver Cliff Steele.

Vernon Reid for Augusta.

Oh, my God. Is that you?

Ya know, there actually was some buzz about

a Daytime Emmy for me after this aired.

For what? Best Supporting Ass Clown?

Hey, you know, acting's hard, all right?

And I...

What the hell is that for?

We've tried everything we can to try to fix this chucklefuck.

It's time to kick it up a notch.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down.

- What? - Slow down. Slow down.

Don't you think we might be taking this a bit too far?

Oh, relax. We're not actually going to torch him.

We're gonna make him think we are.

Still, we're messing with the poor guy's head.

I'd have thought you of all people might be against that.

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Nothing. It's just I,

you know, I'd have thought you might have a little more empathy

given everything I saw in the Underground.

Oh, my God.

All right, listen.

This is not about me

or the fucking Underground,

or whatever touchy-feely Oprah bullshit

you're trying to pull right now.

This is about getting the Chief back.

So get off my jock.

- I can tell your upset. - Fuck off, Cliff.

And you have every right to be.

- Kill yourself, Cliff. - And I just want to say...

- Eat shit, Cliff. - That I'm sorry.

I saw things you probably didn't want me to see.

Even though I didn't mean to, still...

That wasn't cool.

And I'm sorry.

I only wanted to help.

And I just wanna say,

if you ever need to talk about it, I'm here.

I don't need to talk about it.

I know how to get his memory back.

- How? - Dolores.

His wife.

If we find her, maybe he finds his powers.

Maybe that gets us to the Chief.

Wait. Dolores?

As in the lady who set you up? Fuck that.

I can handle her.

This should make you better.

Strong and fast.

Why?

Wow, Cliff. You're really good.

There was some buzz about a Daytime Emmy for me.

Ta-da!

Hello, young man.

Look at my elbow.

That laugh, I...

I've heard it before.

- Dolores? - Hello, young man.

Dolores, it's you.

It's me. It's Flex.

Okay. Memory's back.

- Can we ask him about the Chief now? - Shut up.

Give them a minute.

I've missed you so much, Dolly.

It's been a long time since anyone called me Dolly.

Flex?

Flex? Flex!

- It's me, baby. - Oh, God.

- Oh, God. I thought I lost you. - It's me, baby.

I'm right here, darling.

I'm right here.

Oh, those people, they did things to me.

- They made me... - Baby, me too.

Me too.

It's been so dark without you.

But no matter what they did,

deep down...

I always knew you were there.

That smile...

Oh, how could I forget that smile?

It's still your best flex.

And you're still the light of my life.

- No. No, no. What's wrong? - Flex...

- What's wrong? What's wrong? - I don't feel right.

No, no, no. It's okay, here, sit down.

No, no, no, no, no.

What's happening? Dolly, what's happening?

They told me if I ever tried to find you, I...

No, no, no, no, no!

Dolly, stay with me. Dolly, stay with me!

Flex, help me.

- Flex... - Stay with me.

Dolly, stay with me.

Stay with me, Dolly!

Dolly, stay with me. No, no, no, no.

You're the light of my life.

You're the light of my life.

So much fuss over such a small thing.

I can't do it.

You can and you will.

- Rita... - Victor,

we can't keep running from Mr. Nobody.

A bully only has power over you if you give it to him.

- You actually believe that? - I do.

Every time we try to help the Chief,

we let our fear get the best of us.

We owe it to him to try a bit harder.

We need you, Vic.

It will be all right.

- What if you're wrong? - I'm not.

You may not trust

your father or yourself, but you can trust me.

I can't leave him.

I need to be here.

If I do this, you guys are gonna have to save Niles without me.

Do it.

It's okay.

Well done, Rita.

This episode proved to be

quite the cathartic journey for you, Ms. Farr.

Looks like you're finally ready to...

Oh, God. There's more? Ugh!

Hey, Flex?

I'm really sorry about your wife. I am.

But our friend the Chief...

is in some serious trouble right now

and if there's...

Cliff. Something's wrong with Larry.

Larry? Larry.

Jesus. What's happening?

I think nature's finally taking its course.

I should have died 60 years ago in that plane crash, but...

The Spirit kept me alive.

Well? What are you waiting for?

Get the hell back in there.

No. No, don't.

I've been holding you back long enough, pal.

At least one of us should get to fly high again, right? Now, go.

- You'll die. - You can't!

Maybe.

We'll see, I guess.

I'm willing to take a chance so you can have yours. Please.

Let me do this for you.

Now, go.

Go!

Wait, what? No!

- Are you okay? - Yeah.

Yeah, I think we are.

- We will be. - Well, good.

Because it's all hands on deck.

Larry, I adore you

and I'm glad you're all right,

but if you get blood on that carpet, I'll kill you.

Thanks, Rita.

Where's Vic?

With his father, where he belongs.

I know how to find Niles.

And I don't know about you all,

but I, for one, am ready.

For what?

To fight back.

Care to join me?

Screw it. For Niles.

For Niles.

Yeah.

For Niles.

Finally.

A superhero team I can actually get behind.

A superhero team I can actually use.

Took you emo navel-gazers long enough

to work through your bullshit.

After 13...

Oops.

That's better.

After 13 pointless,

meandering episodes

of character-driven shlock,

we can finally

get to the show that everyone wanted to see in the first place.

A superhero show!

Right versus Wrong.

Good versus Evil.

Hero versus Villain.

That's me.

You bozos want the Chief?

Come and get him.