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1
00:00:06,920 --> 00:00:09,680
Hey, sarge, got you a
chimichanga if you want it.
2
00:00:09,690 --> 00:00:11,850
Thanks! Sombrero's?
3
00:00:11,860 --> 00:00:13,620
Thought you were a Pepeberto's man.
4
00:00:13,730 --> 00:00:15,990
I was. I went by there earlier,
5
00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:17,130
and they were closed.
6
00:00:17,140 --> 00:00:20,060
Sign said, "Return at 5:00."
You know what time it was?
7
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,590
- 5:08.
- Ooh!
8
00:00:24,310 --> 00:00:26,530
So, they're dead to me.
9
00:00:26,540 --> 00:00:28,120
From now on, I will be bringing
10
00:00:28,130 --> 00:00:31,329
my chimichanga business the
fine folks at Sombrero's.
11
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:34,160
This isn't a chimichanga.
This is a burrito.
12
00:00:34,170 --> 00:00:37,580
Is the whole world incompetent?
13
00:00:37,590 --> 00:00:39,380
You ready for another?
14
00:00:39,390 --> 00:00:40,720
No.
15
00:00:43,390 --> 00:00:45,000
Yeah.
16
00:00:50,930 --> 00:00:52,560
Well, that thing is lacking
17
00:00:52,570 --> 00:00:54,410
in systems engineering competency.
18
00:00:58,650 --> 00:01:00,660
Why don't we just get that thing fixed?
19
00:01:00,730 --> 00:01:03,800
I tried everything...
new washer, new pump.
20
00:01:03,810 --> 00:01:05,180
It's as fixed as it's gonna get.
21
00:01:05,190 --> 00:01:06,390
The thing is cursed.
22
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,580
Well, that makes sense.
23
00:01:07,590 --> 00:01:10,440
I mean, Bill's aunt is
buried underneath the bar.
24
00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:14,570
No? Tch! Beth, you lied to me?
25
00:01:16,270 --> 00:01:18,370
So, uh, you sort of a
handyman, hey, Fred?
26
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,600
I do what I can to help out around here.
27
00:01:20,610 --> 00:01:21,920
I'm very handsy.
28
00:01:21,950 --> 00:01:24,529
Ooh. No. Try again.
29
00:01:24,530 --> 00:01:27,730
I just mean I'm... I'm
good at the hand stuff.
30
00:01:27,740 --> 00:01:30,530
Oh, much better.
31
00:01:30,540 --> 00:01:31,610
Anyway, who cares if it's slow?
32
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:33,170
We use this time reflectively.
33
00:01:33,180 --> 00:01:35,700
Rosie, word of the day, please.
34
00:01:35,710 --> 00:01:37,990
Word of the day is "fungible."
35
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,089
Guesses?
36
00:01:39,090 --> 00:01:42,379
Fungible: open to fun or merriment.
37
00:01:42,380 --> 00:01:44,380
"Hey, James, you wanna
hang out tonight?"
38
00:01:44,390 --> 00:01:47,640
"Yeah, I'm fungible.
I'm fungible as hell!"
39
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:52,500
Fungible: the fur-covered jaw of a dog.
40
00:01:52,510 --> 00:01:54,250
Used in a sentence: Rexy likes it
41
00:01:54,260 --> 00:01:56,899
when I scratch him on his fungible.
42
00:01:56,900 --> 00:01:58,910
All good guesses, but no.
43
00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:00,290
It's a legal term that means
44
00:02:00,300 --> 00:02:03,109
able to replace or be
replaced by another item.
45
00:02:03,110 --> 00:02:06,210
Oh, I get it. Like Bill
is totally fungible.
46
00:02:06,220 --> 00:02:07,230
We could just switch him out
47
00:02:07,240 --> 00:02:08,410
with a large carton of whole milk,
48
00:02:08,420 --> 00:02:10,240
and no one would even notice.
49
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:13,459
Yeah. That makes sense to me now.
50
00:02:13,460 --> 00:02:15,910
I'm glad that your
vocabularies are expanding,
51
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,100
but that was mean.
52
00:02:18,740 --> 00:02:23,740
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
53
00:02:27,340 --> 00:02:30,300
"Abby's" is filmed in front
of a live, outdoor audience.
54
00:02:31,380 --> 00:02:33,220
Whoa, wait a minute. Who's this?
55
00:02:33,230 --> 00:02:35,189
This is Cory. He's here
to fix the soda gun.
56
00:02:35,190 --> 00:02:36,660
Bill, I know this is your property,
57
00:02:36,670 --> 00:02:38,250
but you can't just waltz
in here with Cory
58
00:02:38,260 --> 00:02:39,640
and expect me to be cool with it.
59
00:02:39,650 --> 00:02:41,100
- I'm paying.
- Then I'm cool with it.
60
00:02:41,110 --> 00:02:42,360
Go nuts, Cory.
61
00:02:43,100 --> 00:02:45,609
I wish you the best of luck, sir.
62
00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:48,570
You'll find that soda
gun a tricky mistress.
63
00:02:48,580 --> 00:02:50,530
It'll lure you in,
64
00:02:50,540 --> 00:02:52,210
and just when you think
you got a handle...
65
00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:53,909
Done.
66
00:02:53,910 --> 00:02:55,079
What?
67
00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:56,709
Ah, it's fixed. I'm... I'm done.
68
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:59,709
But I was mid-metaphor.
69
00:02:59,710 --> 00:03:02,180
Seriously? Let me see.
70
00:03:02,190 --> 00:03:05,510
Oh, my God. My life just got 60% better.
71
00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,430
I am feeling very amorous
towards you, sir.
72
00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:13,010
Look at you, crazy soda gun wizard.
73
00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:14,630
Yeah. Impressive.
74
00:03:14,640 --> 00:03:16,310
That is amazing, Cory.
What do we owe ya?
75
00:03:16,320 --> 00:03:18,630
Don't even worry about it.
Just, uh, gimme a call
76
00:03:18,640 --> 00:03:21,270
if you ever need anything... else.
77
00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:23,510
Look at that. It's a, uh, fridge magnet
78
00:03:23,520 --> 00:03:26,380
in the shape of a truck. How clever.
79
00:03:26,390 --> 00:03:28,380
Actually, would you mind taking a look
80
00:03:28,390 --> 00:03:29,950
at my storage cooler? It's been making
81
00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,820
a hissing noise, and it's
either totally fine,
82
00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:33,350
or it's gonna kill us all.
83
00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,000
- Sure thing.
- Okay, great!
84
00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,710
You know, in some cultures,
when a man gives you a magnet,
85
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:43,090
you get to have sex with him.
86
00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:51,630
So I been working on an
emergency plan for the bar.
87
00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,680
Oh, good.
88
00:03:52,700 --> 00:03:54,210
Whoa-ho!
89
00:03:54,220 --> 00:03:55,880
- That is a lot.
- Yeah. You told Abby
90
00:03:55,890 --> 00:03:57,570
to come up with one, and
she delegated to me
91
00:03:57,580 --> 00:04:01,270
because I'm very smart and
very scared of everything.
92
00:04:01,280 --> 00:04:04,380
In here, there's a section for
every conceivable emergency.
93
00:04:04,390 --> 00:04:07,410
You got earthquakes, fires, tsunami.
94
00:04:07,420 --> 00:04:08,800
When you say good-bye to somebody,
95
00:04:08,810 --> 00:04:11,560
and then y'all both walk
off in the same direction.
96
00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:14,810
This is insane. In an emergency,
97
00:04:14,820 --> 00:04:16,119
what's the one thing you don't have?
98
00:04:16,120 --> 00:04:18,760
A woman to love me?
99
00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:22,100
Why would you bring that up, Rosie?
100
00:04:22,110 --> 00:04:23,410
Time. You gotta make a plan
101
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:24,710
that's quick and easy to look at,
102
00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,370
like one sheet of paper we can hang up.
103
00:04:26,380 --> 00:04:28,870
One sheet of paper? Did
the Founding Fathers
104
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,150
put the "Declaration of Independence"
105
00:04:30,160 --> 00:04:31,410
on one sheet of paper?
106
00:04:31,420 --> 00:04:33,220
Famously, yes.
107
00:04:35,890 --> 00:04:37,679
Fred, you want another?
108
00:04:37,680 --> 00:04:39,300
Uh, no, thanks.
109
00:04:39,310 --> 00:04:42,140
Think I need to go watch some bocce.
110
00:04:42,150 --> 00:04:43,620
Teresa's playing her ex-husband
111
00:04:43,630 --> 00:04:45,109
for their Golden Retriever.
112
00:04:45,110 --> 00:04:46,620
Should be exciting.
113
00:04:46,630 --> 00:04:48,860
And deeply sad.
114
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,460
Fred seem a little off to you?
115
00:04:52,470 --> 00:04:53,779
I mean, he just turned down a drink.
116
00:04:53,780 --> 00:04:55,630
Yeah, even I noticed it,
117
00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,700
and I don't notice anyone's feelings.
118
00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:02,209
Thank God they go right over my head.
119
00:05:02,210 --> 00:05:03,940
Okay, guys, I wanna huddle,
but I don't want it
120
00:05:03,950 --> 00:05:06,460
to look like we're huddling,
so... soft huddle.
121
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,799
I think Fred may be
upset about something.
122
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:13,550
- Why do you think that?
- Let me put it in a way
123
00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:16,150
that you could understand...
Fred turning down a drink
124
00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:18,980
is like you turning
down a free protractor.
125
00:05:19,930 --> 00:05:23,059
Okay, but like a cheap one
or like a good metal one?
126
00:05:23,060 --> 00:05:24,800
James, can you see if he's
actually paying attention
127
00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:26,140
to the bocce game or if he's just
128
00:05:26,150 --> 00:05:28,180
looking at the leaves
rustle in the trees?
129
00:05:31,910 --> 00:05:35,060
He's just watching the leaves rustle.
130
00:05:35,070 --> 00:05:36,210
Okay, nobody panic.
131
00:05:36,220 --> 00:05:37,740
Let's just figure out
what's bumming him out.
132
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:39,260
The checklist, Rosie.
133
00:05:40,760 --> 00:05:42,630
So we've got things that upset Fred
134
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:44,230
broken down into three categories...
135
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,070
Fred Versus Man, Fred Versus Nature,
136
00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:48,140
Fred Versus Himself.
137
00:05:48,950 --> 00:05:50,629
Fred Versus Nature? What's that?
138
00:05:50,630 --> 00:05:52,830
Oh, that's just stuff
like, "It's too humid,"
139
00:05:52,840 --> 00:05:55,190
or, "It's not humid enough!"
140
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:57,600
It's mostly just problems with humidity.
141
00:05:57,610 --> 00:05:59,970
He's super-sensitive to moisture.
142
00:06:01,310 --> 00:06:02,630
Oh, it could be Fred Versus Man.
143
00:06:02,640 --> 00:06:03,769
Did the Padres lose?
144
00:06:03,770 --> 00:06:06,359
- Oh, they won.
- Okay, but won how?
145
00:06:06,360 --> 00:06:08,210
Convincingly? Did they over-use
their middle relievers?
146
00:06:08,220 --> 00:06:09,440
He hates that!
147
00:06:10,500 --> 00:06:13,070
I don't... Look, I was proud of myself
148
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,030
for just knowing they won, okay?
149
00:06:16,690 --> 00:06:18,239
He's... he's coming! Okay!
150
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,780
Everyone be cool!
151
00:06:19,790 --> 00:06:21,369
- Can I get a beer?
- Oh, sure.
152
00:06:21,370 --> 00:06:23,200
Yeah! Enjoy a cold one.
153
00:06:23,210 --> 00:06:24,740
That's what this place is for!
154
00:06:24,750 --> 00:06:26,690
That's what we do here,
we drink beers, buddy.
155
00:06:30,280 --> 00:06:31,540
There you go!
156
00:06:32,240 --> 00:06:34,470
Okay.
157
00:06:35,780 --> 00:06:37,979
When was the last time you
saw Fred drink a beer
158
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:40,000
after 9:00? Didn't he already
switch to Jack and coke?
159
00:06:40,010 --> 00:06:41,389
Yeah. And you would think
with the new soda gun...
160
00:06:41,390 --> 00:06:44,099
Oh! The soda gun.
161
00:06:44,100 --> 00:06:46,640
He's mad because we hired the
guy to fix the soda gun.
162
00:06:46,650 --> 00:06:49,210
Good old-fashioned case
of Fred Versus Man.
163
00:06:49,220 --> 00:06:53,050
Or... or is this Fred Versus Himself?
164
00:06:53,060 --> 00:06:55,820
Some deep stuff goin' on here.
165
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,430
All right, so Fred's in a funk.
166
00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:08,410
He's feeling bad about
Cory fixing the soda gun
167
00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:09,470
that he could never fix.
168
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:12,030
Oh, poor Fred. You think
he was also upset
169
00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,020
that Cory and I had so
much sexual chemistry?
170
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:18,630
Yeah, probably.
171
00:07:19,900 --> 00:07:22,500
We gotta do something.
Sad Fred makes me sad.
172
00:07:22,510 --> 00:07:25,000
It's contagious. It brings
down the whole bar!
173
00:07:25,010 --> 00:07:26,530
Look at Skip. He's a wreck!
174
00:07:29,310 --> 00:07:31,040
All right, okay, well,
let's cheer him up.
175
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,520
- Ideas?
- I know.
176
00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:33,850
We could get him a rabbit.
177
00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:38,230
Weird first thought.
Where did that come from?
178
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,350
Do you want a rabbit,
179
00:07:39,360 --> 00:07:42,530
or do you have a rabbit
you wanna get rid of?
180
00:07:42,540 --> 00:07:44,620
Here's a crazy suggestion.
What if one of us
181
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,950
went over there... and talked to him?
182
00:07:46,960 --> 00:07:48,330
With their mouth?
183
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:52,799
Are you insane? Fred doesn't
talk about his feelings.
184
00:07:52,800 --> 00:07:54,080
Once, in a moment of weakness,
185
00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,380
he said he felt "chilly,"
and then immediately
186
00:07:56,390 --> 00:07:58,389
made us promise to never
speak of it again.
187
00:07:58,390 --> 00:08:01,460
All right, let's just run the
"Cheer Fred Up" playbook.
188
00:08:01,470 --> 00:08:03,230
Bill, go put on "Rich
Girl" on the jukebox.
189
00:08:03,240 --> 00:08:05,319
It's his third favorite song.
It'll put him in a good mood.
190
00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:09,040
He loves songs about women
doing well financially.
191
00:08:09,050 --> 00:08:11,150
And James, you go suggest
a game of dominoes.
192
00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:13,409
Right. And then I'll let him win.
193
00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,080
You won't have to, because
you've never, ever won.
194
00:08:15,090 --> 00:08:16,910
And I won't start now.
195
00:08:17,870 --> 00:08:19,830
We're on the same page, Abby.
196
00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:22,580
Okay, and finally, Fred's
always complaining
197
00:08:22,590 --> 00:08:25,169
about dimness, so we'll turn
the lights up a little bit.
198
00:08:25,170 --> 00:08:27,460
And if none of that works,
then I'll call the pet store.
199
00:08:27,470 --> 00:08:28,700
James, no!
200
00:08:28,710 --> 00:08:30,100
I'm sorry! I couldn't
remember where we landed
201
00:08:30,110 --> 00:08:32,130
on the rabbit idea. Are we pro, con?
202
00:08:32,140 --> 00:08:33,460
We're con?
203
00:08:33,470 --> 00:08:34,800
We're con?
204
00:08:34,810 --> 00:08:36,710
Are we sure?
205
00:08:40,710 --> 00:08:42,540
Fred hates dimness.
206
00:08:42,550 --> 00:08:44,300
Someone's gotta bite the bullet.
207
00:08:51,450 --> 00:08:53,150
Does this help? It says here,
208
00:08:53,160 --> 00:08:55,760
"After a fatal electrocution,
the body typically presents
209
00:08:55,770 --> 00:08:57,840
"as black or gray, and the eyeballs
210
00:08:57,850 --> 00:08:59,650
may be jellied or missing all together."
211
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,829
Thanks, James. Cool tip.
212
00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:04,430
Okay, get back in there.
213
00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,100
Come on. You got this.
214
00:09:06,110 --> 00:09:07,550
Yeah.
215
00:09:11,090 --> 00:09:13,260
Oh, my God, Beth, that was so scary!
216
00:09:13,270 --> 00:09:15,760
Hey! Shh, it's okay.
217
00:09:15,770 --> 00:09:17,540
It's okay, now. You did it!
218
00:09:17,550 --> 00:09:19,410
You plugged in that thing!
219
00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:23,940
Ah, excuse me, I'm so sorry.
220
00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:25,240
Do you think that I could go first?
221
00:09:25,250 --> 00:09:27,309
We sort of have a plan unfolding here.
222
00:09:27,310 --> 00:09:29,820
Yeah. The plan is I'm gonna put on Sade
223
00:09:29,830 --> 00:09:31,230
and go make out with Ted.
224
00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:33,310
Oh.
225
00:09:34,910 --> 00:09:37,800
Ah... here's the thing. Um,
226
00:09:37,810 --> 00:09:41,080
I never really get to be
part of the plan, you know,
227
00:09:41,090 --> 00:09:42,650
so this is a very big deal for me.
228
00:09:43,790 --> 00:09:45,620
When I was a child, we
moved around a lot...
229
00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:47,200
Angie, let him play his song.
230
00:09:47,210 --> 00:09:49,879
We both know you're gonna
make out with Ted either way.
231
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:51,770
Thank you.
232
00:09:55,020 --> 00:09:57,719
♪ You're a rich girl and
you've gone too far ♪
233
00:09:57,720 --> 00:10:01,020
♪ 'Cause you know it
don't matter anyway ♪
234
00:10:01,030 --> 00:10:04,050
♪ You can rely on the old man's money ♪
235
00:10:04,060 --> 00:10:06,500
♪ You can rely on the old man's money ♪
236
00:10:06,510 --> 00:10:09,700
♪ It's a bitch, girl,
but it's gone too far ♪
237
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:12,430
♪ 'Cause you know it
don't matter anyway ♪
238
00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:14,970
Oh! Ha. Hey, Fred, what's goin' on?
239
00:10:14,980 --> 00:10:17,400
Not much. Bocce got a little ugly.
240
00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:18,600
Teresa lost the dog,
241
00:10:18,610 --> 00:10:22,360
and she went double or
nothing for their kids.
242
00:10:22,370 --> 00:10:24,939
Uh... you know it's been a long time
243
00:10:24,940 --> 00:10:26,530
since we played a game of dominoes.
244
00:10:27,220 --> 00:10:28,750
Really? No reaction at all
245
00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:30,290
to people betting their human children?
246
00:10:30,300 --> 00:10:32,130
I can't take that on right now.
247
00:10:33,670 --> 00:10:35,550
- Anything?
- I can't tell.
248
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:36,670
Oh, here comes James.
249
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,009
Without Fred. What happened?
250
00:10:39,010 --> 00:10:41,760
He didn't feel like playing.
And it gets worse.
251
00:10:41,770 --> 00:10:43,929
He said he was gonna go smoke
a cigarette in his car.
252
00:10:43,930 --> 00:10:47,670
Oh, dear God, he's trying
to fast-track emphysema.
253
00:10:48,770 --> 00:10:52,479
Yeah. Rabbit idea ain't
looking so stupid now, is it?
254
00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:55,430
- So what happens now?
- All right, let's take stock.
255
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:57,180
Fred's mad 'cause he
couldn't fix the soda gun,
256
00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,880
and someone else could. Once again,
257
00:10:58,890 --> 00:11:02,270
we have underestimated the
fragility of the male ego.
258
00:11:03,670 --> 00:11:05,880
Since we've exhausted
all the other options,
259
00:11:05,890 --> 00:11:07,709
I think it's time to
pull out the big gun.
260
00:11:07,710 --> 00:11:09,419
I say we give him The Token.
261
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:10,440
- Ooh!
- Whoa.
262
00:11:10,450 --> 00:11:12,430
- The Token?
- What's The Token?
263
00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:14,330
The Token is the stuff of legend, Bill.
264
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:16,710
It dates back to 2015.
265
00:11:18,130 --> 00:11:20,360
It was the second round of
the Farmers Insurance Open.
266
00:11:20,370 --> 00:11:21,940
Phil Mickelson had just
come off the green
267
00:11:21,950 --> 00:11:23,639
of Torrey Pines number 8.
268
00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:25,900
His ball marker slipped
right out his pocket.
269
00:11:25,910 --> 00:11:27,970
I grabbed it.
270
00:11:27,980 --> 00:11:29,280
Okay.
271
00:11:29,290 --> 00:11:32,280
So The Token, this magical talisman
272
00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:33,700
that's gonna solve all of our problems,
273
00:11:33,710 --> 00:11:37,280
is actually a piece of plastic
that James stole from a golfer.
274
00:11:37,290 --> 00:11:39,320
Yes. But more importantly,
275
00:11:39,330 --> 00:11:40,720
The Token bestows upon the holder
276
00:11:40,730 --> 00:11:43,050
a special privilege here
at Abby's... one week
277
00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:45,500
- of unlimited free drinks.
- Unlimited drinks?
278
00:11:45,510 --> 00:11:46,940
That sounds like a lawsuit
waiting to happen.
279
00:11:46,950 --> 00:11:49,209
Somebody should take this Token
and throw it in the trash.
280
00:11:49,210 --> 00:11:51,570
Shut your dirty mouth, Bill.
281
00:11:53,540 --> 00:11:55,900
Listen, no matter how upset
Fred is about the soda gun,
282
00:11:55,910 --> 00:11:57,600
his two favorite words,
"free" and "drinks"
283
00:11:57,610 --> 00:11:59,600
- will smooth things over.
- Receiving The Token
284
00:11:59,610 --> 00:12:01,970
is a rare honor... only
been used a couple times.
285
00:12:01,980 --> 00:12:04,670
Skip got it when he was
acquitted of manslaughter.
286
00:12:08,430 --> 00:12:10,450
My man did it, though.
287
00:12:11,830 --> 00:12:13,450
He did it.
288
00:12:14,360 --> 00:12:17,300
♪ A rich girl, oh ♪
289
00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:18,779
♪ You're the rich, rich girl, yeah ♪
290
00:12:18,780 --> 00:12:20,530
What is so important,
291
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:23,140
and what is all this talk of a rabbit?
292
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:26,000
Hey! Uh... Come sit over here, Fred.
293
00:12:26,010 --> 00:12:27,300
- Why?
- No reason.
294
00:12:27,310 --> 00:12:29,170
No reason at all.
295
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:34,910
Let the ceremony begin.
296
00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:37,440
"Inside this box is an
object of such power
297
00:12:37,450 --> 00:12:38,850
"that to touch it with bare hands
298
00:12:38,860 --> 00:12:41,219
would bring disrespect
to all we hold dear."
299
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:43,030
Is this still that piece
of plastic garbage
300
00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,720
- you mentioned earlier?
- Shh!
301
00:12:44,730 --> 00:12:47,099
- The ceremony.
- "It goes by many names...
302
00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:48,840
"The Coin of Consumption,
303
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:51,380
"The Boozer's Doubloon,
304
00:12:51,390 --> 00:12:53,570
"The Fun-Time Dime of Torrey Pines.
305
00:12:54,730 --> 00:12:57,160
"Whosoever holds this Token,
if she or he be worthy,
306
00:12:57,170 --> 00:12:59,300
"shall possess the power
of seven full days
307
00:12:59,310 --> 00:13:01,360
of free imbibu-malation."
308
00:13:01,370 --> 00:13:03,529
God, how drunk were we
when we wrote this?
309
00:13:03,530 --> 00:13:06,230
Like a seven?
310
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,180
"We present to you now, Fred,
311
00:13:08,190 --> 00:13:10,690
"the sacred treasure of
infinite joy and beverages,
312
00:13:10,700 --> 00:13:12,749
"and, as we pass unto you this Token,
313
00:13:12,750 --> 00:13:16,709
"we begin, as we must, the most
holy blessing of The Token.
314
00:13:16,710 --> 00:13:19,980
"Our Token, who art in Abby's,
315
00:13:19,990 --> 00:13:22,350
"drinking be thy game.
316
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:24,009
"Your will be done,
317
00:13:24,010 --> 00:13:26,420
"because drinking is fun.
318
00:13:26,430 --> 00:13:29,760
"Also, if Phil Mickelson ever shows up,
319
00:13:29,770 --> 00:13:32,850
everyone pretend this never happened."
320
00:13:33,890 --> 00:13:36,479
What are you doing? Why are
you giving me The Token?
321
00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:38,100
Well, we noticed you
were having a bad night,
322
00:13:38,110 --> 00:13:39,370
and we wanted to cheer you up.
323
00:13:39,380 --> 00:13:40,720
I'm not having a bad...
324
00:13:40,730 --> 00:13:43,060
There's no reason to give me The Token.
325
00:13:43,070 --> 00:13:44,610
Whoa! Hey, Fred, what are you doing?
326
00:13:44,620 --> 00:13:46,519
You don't walk away from The Token.
327
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,860
Yeah, I can. I don't want it.
328
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:49,550
Now, put the white gloves back on
329
00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:51,220
and put it back properly.
330
00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,810
- Fred, take The Tok...
- I don't want...
331
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:54,440
Oh, my God!
332
00:13:54,450 --> 00:13:56,050
It fell.
333
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:59,169
Abby, I'm not wearing the
gloves, so I can't touch it.
334
00:13:59,170 --> 00:14:01,390
Is it okay?
335
00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:02,580
James, it's a piece of plastic
336
00:14:02,590 --> 00:14:04,719
that dropped 3 feet onto
the grass... it's fine.
337
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:07,130
It touched the ground?!
338
00:14:07,140 --> 00:14:08,970
Now the gnomes are gonna get us.
339
00:14:10,260 --> 00:14:12,370
Well, that's the legend. That's...
340
00:14:12,380 --> 00:14:15,070
That's what we wrote!
341
00:14:15,080 --> 00:14:17,210
Maybe we were closer to a ten.
342
00:14:26,420 --> 00:14:28,450
Fred, what the hell?
Why would you do that?
343
00:14:28,460 --> 00:14:30,790
That was an accident. But I
don't like being patronized.
344
00:14:30,800 --> 00:14:34,340
I'm not a child who needs to be
coddled with some cheap bribe.
345
00:14:34,350 --> 00:14:35,650
- Cheap?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
346
00:14:35,660 --> 00:14:38,270
The Token is scared!
347
00:14:39,870 --> 00:14:41,400
What? I'm gonna have to start
348
00:14:41,410 --> 00:14:42,750
saying stuff like that eventually.
349
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,609
This is basically like
a cult I've joined.
350
00:14:45,610 --> 00:14:47,380
- I'm going back to my car.
- Fred, come on.
351
00:14:47,390 --> 00:14:48,540
No, you're not leaving like this.
352
00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:50,280
- Yes, I am.
- No, you're not.
353
00:14:50,290 --> 00:14:53,160
Abby, what are you do...
I got 100 pounds on you.
354
00:14:53,170 --> 00:14:55,380
Oh, my God! You're freakishly strong!
355
00:14:55,390 --> 00:14:56,659
- Let go!
- No!
356
00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:58,480
You let go of whatever you're mad about!
357
00:14:58,490 --> 00:15:00,039
You let go of my actual body.
358
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:01,420
Metaphorical letting go first.
359
00:15:01,430 --> 00:15:03,120
That's a rule I just decided on.
360
00:15:03,130 --> 00:15:04,570
We got an emergency.
361
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:06,390
I'm gonna find my
binder and look up fi...
362
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,709
I'm having a panic attack.
363
00:15:08,710 --> 00:15:12,460
Somebody else get the binder
and look up panic attack.
364
00:15:12,470 --> 00:15:14,639
Abby, will you just let me be?
365
00:15:16,140 --> 00:15:17,720
No!
366
00:15:18,780 --> 00:15:21,910
I'm so sorry. It's The Token.
367
00:15:23,410 --> 00:15:24,810
This is all my fault.
368
00:15:26,750 --> 00:15:28,420
Leave us.
369
00:15:28,430 --> 00:15:30,990
I said leave us!
370
00:15:35,660 --> 00:15:38,150
I feel bad for Fred
feeling all fungible.
371
00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,450
Able to be easily replaced?
372
00:15:42,460 --> 00:15:44,290
We learned it two hours ago!
373
00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:46,210
This is untenable!
374
00:15:47,230 --> 00:15:49,600
Oh, untenable? Last Wednesday's word?
375
00:15:49,610 --> 00:15:52,669
Damn you people!
376
00:15:52,670 --> 00:15:55,300
I don't get it. Why is
he freaking out so much
377
00:15:55,310 --> 00:15:58,009
about now being the bar's plumber?
378
00:15:58,010 --> 00:16:01,750
Oh, wait. I think I might know.
379
00:16:04,990 --> 00:16:06,100
Are you gonna tell me
380
00:16:06,110 --> 00:16:08,480
or just gonna brag about
how smart you are?
381
00:16:08,490 --> 00:16:11,480
It's not that Fred just wants
to be useful here at the bar.
382
00:16:11,490 --> 00:16:13,940
It's that he wants to be useful to you.
383
00:16:13,950 --> 00:16:15,480
What do you mean?
384
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:17,860
Okay. For six straight years,
385
00:16:17,870 --> 00:16:21,030
every day, I put toothpaste
on my kid's toothbrush.
386
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,260
Then one day, he comes downstairs
387
00:16:23,270 --> 00:16:25,080
with his teeth already brushed.
388
00:16:25,090 --> 00:16:26,830
Did it all by himself.
389
00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:28,810
He didn't need me anymore.
390
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:32,170
It was like a knife in my heart.
391
00:16:33,460 --> 00:16:36,100
I cried the whole day.
392
00:16:36,110 --> 00:16:37,750
Really?
393
00:16:37,760 --> 00:16:39,680
No. Pfft.
394
00:16:39,690 --> 00:16:42,240
I mean, I didn't. I'm dead inside.
395
00:16:42,250 --> 00:16:44,420
It's my friend Lisa's story. She's weak.
396
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:48,520
But you see the point, right?
397
00:16:48,530 --> 00:16:51,189
You know, you let someone
do what he normally does...
398
00:16:51,190 --> 00:16:52,859
you made him feel like
you don't need him.
399
00:16:52,860 --> 00:16:55,140
Fred knows what a crappy dad you got,
400
00:16:55,150 --> 00:16:58,199
and, you know, he shows his
love by looking out for you.
401
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,670
You're the closest thing to a daughter
402
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,029
he's ever gonna have.
403
00:17:01,030 --> 00:17:02,740
Hey, Abby.
404
00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,680
I've assessed the damage
done to The Token,
405
00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:07,749
and now I'll start the delicate
process of restoration.
406
00:17:07,750 --> 00:17:09,520
You know, I hate to be a hard-ass,
407
00:17:09,530 --> 00:17:11,370
but you should really have the gloves on
408
00:17:11,390 --> 00:17:13,130
when you touch that.
409
00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:28,300
Oh, jeez, Fred,
410
00:17:28,310 --> 00:17:31,070
you didn't wanna crack a
window, let the smoke out?
411
00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:33,730
No. I paid good money for this smoke.
412
00:17:35,410 --> 00:17:36,940
I really want you to have this.
413
00:17:36,950 --> 00:17:39,640
I told you, I don't want that.
414
00:17:39,650 --> 00:17:42,110
I'm just... I'm doing a thing.
Play along... open the box.
415
00:17:43,370 --> 00:17:46,250
Mmm! What am I supposed to do with this?
416
00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:49,120
Whatever you want. Throw it away.
417
00:17:49,130 --> 00:17:52,120
I don't care. I don't need Cory.
418
00:17:52,130 --> 00:17:54,660
- I've got you.
- Hmm.
419
00:17:54,670 --> 00:17:56,720
Thought he was a soda gun wizard.
420
00:17:56,730 --> 00:17:58,960
Well, he's fine, but he's no Fred.
421
00:17:58,970 --> 00:18:00,600
Hmm.
422
00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:03,820
I remember the first
thing I fixed for you.
423
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:05,680
It was your bike wheel.
424
00:18:05,690 --> 00:18:07,550
You were eight years old.
Do you remember that?
425
00:18:08,610 --> 00:18:09,800
I didn't know what I was doing,
426
00:18:09,810 --> 00:18:13,399
but I winged it, and it worked.
427
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:15,580
Yeah, I remember.
428
00:18:15,590 --> 00:18:17,319
I mean, it absolutely did not work.
429
00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,320
You know that, right?
The chain fell off,
430
00:18:19,330 --> 00:18:21,720
and I went head first
over the handlebars.
431
00:18:21,730 --> 00:18:23,569
I still have a scar.
432
00:18:23,570 --> 00:18:25,239
Hmm.
433
00:18:25,240 --> 00:18:27,150
But it was nice to have somebody around
434
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:29,690
who actually cared.
435
00:18:29,700 --> 00:18:32,539
- Well, I still do.
- I know.
436
00:18:32,540 --> 00:18:34,380
And believe me, I need you around.
437
00:18:34,390 --> 00:18:36,250
I just wolfed down that
burrito you brought me.
438
00:18:36,260 --> 00:18:39,130
It was the first food I'd
had all day. So thank you.
439
00:18:39,140 --> 00:18:42,200
Yeah. Supposed to be a
chimichanga, but... whatever.
440
00:18:42,210 --> 00:18:44,300
Happy to help.
441
00:18:46,390 --> 00:18:48,040
Now, something I wanna
bring up with you...
442
00:18:48,050 --> 00:18:49,500
how well do you know your neighbors?
443
00:18:49,510 --> 00:18:52,090
'Cause I am pretty sure I just watched
444
00:18:52,100 --> 00:18:55,760
somebody dig what looked
like a shallow grave.
445
00:18:55,770 --> 00:18:57,650
Yeah. They breed guinea pigs,
446
00:18:57,660 --> 00:19:00,690
and a lot of them don't work out.
447
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,160
Oh.
448
00:19:02,170 --> 00:19:04,700
We should go inside.
449
00:19:12,090 --> 00:19:13,150
Abs?
450
00:19:13,160 --> 00:19:14,480
How 'bout a Jack and Coke?
451
00:19:14,490 --> 00:19:15,960
Jack and Coke comin' right up.
452
00:19:15,970 --> 00:19:18,380
Hey, there's my guy.
453
00:19:19,810 --> 00:19:22,099
Mmm... that takes me back.
454
00:19:22,100 --> 00:19:24,519
- Beth, you smoked?
- Yeah. Quit right after
455
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:26,690
the twins were born.
456
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,600
Hey, uh, point of order.
457
00:19:30,610 --> 00:19:34,180
I know I didn't actually
physically accept The Token,
458
00:19:34,190 --> 00:19:36,380
but it just seems like
under the circumstances...
459
00:19:36,390 --> 00:19:38,920
Ooh, Fred, that was
a limited-time offer.
460
00:19:38,930 --> 00:19:41,450
You know that... you were
secretary of the Token Council.
461
00:19:43,080 --> 00:19:45,560
A council? That is ridiculous.
462
00:19:45,570 --> 00:19:48,050
But also, is that an elected
position? 'Cause I...
463
00:19:49,750 --> 00:19:51,720
Ab, we both know The Token Covenant
464
00:19:51,730 --> 00:19:53,880
- is a living document.
- No can do, Fred.
465
00:19:53,890 --> 00:19:55,560
But I will give you this one for free.
466
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:56,850
Yay.
467
00:19:58,380 --> 00:20:01,140
This stool is kinda wobbly.
468
00:20:01,150 --> 00:20:04,380
Maybe I should call hot Cory.
469
00:20:05,330 --> 00:20:07,280
Hang on. There may be no need.
470
00:20:07,290 --> 00:20:10,650
I have something that
might just do the trick.
471
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:13,890
There you go.
472
00:20:13,900 --> 00:20:15,570
Thanks.
473
00:20:16,970 --> 00:20:20,620
No need to call hot Cory now.
474
00:20:20,630 --> 00:20:24,330
Monogamy, you live to fight another day.
475
00:20:30,310 --> 00:20:31,950
James, what's wrong?
476
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:34,420
We had a real emergency, and I froze.
477
00:20:34,430 --> 00:20:36,049
I let everybody down.
478
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:37,540
No, you didn't.
479
00:20:37,550 --> 00:20:40,140
The emergency plan isn't all on you.
480
00:20:40,150 --> 00:20:42,550
We look out for each other.
Look at Abby and Fred.
481
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:46,470
And, uh, you and Bill
have your weird thing.
482
00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:50,980
Yeah. We fell asleep on the
phone together the other night.
483
00:20:51,860 --> 00:20:53,690
That's the emergency plan.
484
00:20:53,700 --> 00:20:56,530
We all help each other
out however we can.
485
00:20:57,310 --> 00:20:58,830
What happened to you there?
486
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,400
I got a little electrocuted.
487
00:21:01,410 --> 00:21:03,510
Rosie, remain calm. It's gonna be fine.
488
00:21:03,520 --> 00:21:05,110
Head of Bar Security's on it.
489
00:21:08,910 --> 00:21:10,710
Thanks.
490
00:21:12,030 --> 00:21:15,870
Hey, James, I'm taking
off, but, uh... later?
491
00:21:17,970 --> 00:21:20,679
I can't explain it. It
all happened so fast.
492
00:21:20,680 --> 00:21:25,020
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
36402
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