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Matt, it's important that we talk about
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this. High school sucks for everybody.
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I'm only a freshman. I have
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four more years of this. You
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wouldn't understand. Sweetie, I'm gay.
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What are you?Some sort of gay guardian
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Angel?Well, I am the high school drama
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teacher, so. Yes, I didn't do
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anything to that kid. I don't know why he
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did this to me. Cause he is a miserable
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fat ass with a horrible family life. I
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it's not your fault, Matt. Hurt
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people hurt people. So should
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I fight back?God, no. That fat ass
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Stearns would kill you. Stearns.
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Stearns. So I should do
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nothing. Matt, I have it on very
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good authority that after the semester
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you will never see that kid again. He's
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being transferred to another school. What
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do I do in the meantime?I don't talk
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about him behind his back, sabotage his
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character. Really?Oh, wait, no, I can't
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say that. So do nothing. Well, you
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know what Gloria Gaynor said. No, she
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said. I will survive.
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She sang it.
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Never mind. Just stay away from him.
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Channel all your feelings into your
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writing and just.
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Wait it out.
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Wait it out is going to be a best
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seller. I can feel it.
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And as is customary, the first
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one off the press goes to me.
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I did publish the damn thing after all,
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but the second one off the press goes
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to you. The writer. My
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God, this is beautiful. This is going to
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help so many kids. But if it even only
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helps one, it's all worth it. What?
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Just confirming your 4:00 PM Pilates
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appointment and your 5:30 facial. You
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know what?I don't have time for this.
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Just get out. Out. Out. OK,
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Matt. Why does
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everyone?Everyone on this
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planet have an easy life except me.
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You mentioned you wanted me to do some
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press for the book. I was thinking we
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could partner with the kids from the
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Harvey Milk High School. Oh, those are
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the kids. Tomorrow. Let's deal with
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press tomorrow. I need some executive
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time.
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Oh, Matt, I wasn't expecting you home
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until later. I decided to skip the gym. I
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am so sorry to intrude. Hello,
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Clayton. Oh, Matt, this is Richard.
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Richard, this is my roommate, Matt. Hey,
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dude. Hi.
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I am so sorry. I I thought you were
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someone else. Oh, fine. I
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cut it. Richard, I was with
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another guy last week. It's OK,
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babe. We just met. Where'd you two meet?
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The gym. The gym. I'm a
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whoreIs that what you want to hear?A slut
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A bad girl?A harlot?Oh, no, noSam, what
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did you have to eat today?
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No, no, no, no, no,
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noOur ancestors did not eat protein
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shakes. That is why we carry almonds. You
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guys on the paleo diet?I am. She's
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supposed to be doing it with me. Have you
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heard of intermittent fasting?It's
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simple. I don't know how it works. You
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just don't eat any food and the fat melts
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away. It's absolutely insane. Who would
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have thunk it, right?Night, Matt. Night,
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Matt. Night. It's 530.
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Night. Matt.
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Night. Night, dude.
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Oh, night, dude. Pre-buzz
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on your book is great. The
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online forums are overflowing with
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really tender testimonials from some
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teenage high schoolers. Listen to this.
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Thank you, Matt Port, for such a great
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message. High school has been a
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nightmare, but with your book to look
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forward to, I have found the strength to
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wait it out. We're done. Well, one
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more thing. Great feedback in the
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forum is great, but
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they don't translate into actual dollars
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quite yet. I've already set some things
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up to introduce you to the press to see
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who you've become since you were a
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bullied youth. You know what?
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Are the benefits of waiting it
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out.
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Oh, are you asking me?Yes. Are
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you happy?I guess so.
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Good. You have friends?I have
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over 4000 Facebook friends. I've
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got 2000 Twitter followers and
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almost 8000 on Insta.
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Is this a joke?You need real
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friends. What do you do when you're not
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working?Well, I I go to the gym.
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I update my social media. I love
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following nutrition facts. You need less
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self-centered hobbies. Are you in a
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relationship?No. Dating?
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No. You have
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no family, no hobbies. You're not in
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a relationship, and you have no friends.
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Forgive me for asking. But what the
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fuck did you wait it out for?
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Maybe it was a message that you needed to
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hear. She basically said I should have
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killed myself in high school. She said
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you weren't living your best life yet.
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Big difference. What are
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you doing?Dating up.
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Left. Left. Left.
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He's cute. No, he's too short. Left.
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What's wrong with this one?He's cute.
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Annie has hair. He has gay face. What the
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hell's gay face?I can tell he's gay by
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just looking at his picture.
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You're gay too. It's men looking for men.
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It's the definition of a gay. I just. I
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don't want someone too femme. OK,
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so no fatties, no baldies, and no femme.
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Anything else, Hitler?Oh, stop it. Look,
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I'm finally at a point in my life where I
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actually have standards, and I don't want
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to be made to feel bad for liking what I
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like. OK, Hitler,
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last.
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Sam, hi. I guess we're on a time-based
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basis now. Cardio week,
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right?I hate cardio. Sam, we discussed
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this in your first session. It's part of
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your weight minutes. And it's also part
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of mine. I told you I used to be quite a
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hand-planted myself. Are you single?Sam.
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No, noIt's
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about my roommate. He's cute. He's funny.
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I've known him since college. Like a
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blind date. Yeah. What a good idea. I
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will text you the details. Night. It's
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all set. You need to be at the Cantina
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tonight at 7:15 to meet Brad. Say what?
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The Cantina. The Mexican place. No, I
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know the Cantina. Who the hell is Brad?
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Oh, he's my trainer from the gym. I
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thought about it last night after you
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passed out. It's perfect. Oh, I don't
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know if I'm ready for this, Matt. You
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need to get a life. I mean, even your
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boss says so. 7:15, the Cantina.
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And Matt, don't swipe left.
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He's got 5 minutes.
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Matt, hi. Brad, I'm so sorry I'm
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late. Oh, well, better late than not to
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appear what you said. Right. What?I'm
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mad. Yeah, I know. Should we get
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drinks?Yes. Thirsty. Yes.
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Thank you. Oh,
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thanks. Are you sure your food
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was OK?Oh, yeah. No, it was good.
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So tell me more about the
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musculoskeletal system. I talk about
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work when I get nervous. You're
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nervous?Yeah, obviously. I mean,
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look at you.
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Hey, do you want to?Just go
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down the street and get some coffee and
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maybe just start this whole thing over.
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Yes, please. OK. So great. Great.
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Oh, no, no, please. Really. I insist. No,
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no, noI was late. I want to get this. Let
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me get this. No hazies. Hazies.
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Mr. Please. Bradley
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K Stearns. That's not fair. I
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don't know your last name from
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Overlook High. Yeah. Do I know you?
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I'm an adult now. I do not have to accept
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this. Well, OK, I'm just trying to pay
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for dinner. What?Is this some kind of
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sick joke?You get off on fucking with
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people?Jesus. OK, Habsies. You know what?
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Fuck you.
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Come on. 40 more seconds. You've gotthis.
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What the hell, Brad?
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Are you?What?Are you kidding?What the
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hell?To you?Back to you. Because I just
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insisted on paying for dinner and he
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freaked out. He made a huge scene and he
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left. Ow. What?You you don't know him?You
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didn't recognize him?No. What?Is he
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famous or something?I have to stop.
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Apparently we went to high school
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together. Matt Port.
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OK, well, if that doesn't ring a bell,
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how about Fadport?Fadport.
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I I didn't recognize him. Well, clearly I
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misdud you. Nice act you got going on
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here. You two need to talk this through.
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Take as much time as you need.
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Cover everything.
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So you want to explain yourself?
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Obviously, I didn't recognize Matt Port.
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I'm a different person than I was in high
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school. I was a jerk. I was insecure.
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That's not an excuse. Weren't you a
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different person when you were in high
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school?No, I was always sweet. I mean, I
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never really got off on making people
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feel bad about themselves. OK, I would
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like to apologize. Why don't you text me
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his phone number and I'll text him. Text
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him?You tortured him and you think you
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can get away with this with a text?OK.
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All right. I will. Fine. I will
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apologize in person. OK. Well, he eats
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lunch at his office every day by himself.
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Either at noon. I'll text you the
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address. It's right by Stonewall. Of
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course. Where's Stonewall?
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Learn your history, queen.
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Jesus. Sam.
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Sam. Ma'am. What?You're at a 12. I need
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you down to a two. I think I know why
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Brad Stearns met me last night. Because
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of my book. I think it's because I set
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you up with him. I mean, I call him Chad
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Burns in the book, but maybe he got wind
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of it somehow and and came to get revenge
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or something. Oh, well, you call
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Brad Stearns Chad Burns.
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Yes.
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Can he see you or something?Thank you.
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That's what I've been trying to tell you.
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Well, I wish you told me that earlier,
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because I told him where you eat lunch
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every day alone. And he's going to be
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there tomorrow at noon. What?Ma'am. Oh,
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sorry. Yeah. No,
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that's good. I'll meet him tomorrow.
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She crazy.
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Hey,
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thank you for agreeing to let me talk.
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What do you want?
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OK, so the other night
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on our date,
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I did not recognize you. And if I had, I
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would have apologized right away because.
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I was horrible. Wait, you didn't
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recognize me. So you don't know about the
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book?The what?You didn't. You didn't look
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me up at all. No, noSam didn't want me to
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know your last name. She didn't want me
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looking you up. So you're here to
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apologize to me?Yeah. I
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mean, this is long overdue. Yeah.
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YeahYou were terrible. You made
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my life hell. Yeah, I know.
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I'm really sorry. And what were you doing
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on a date with a guy anyway, huhAre you
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going to tell me you're gay now?
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Are you gay?So what if he is you
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bully?No, no, no, no
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I'm. I'm that part. The anti bully.
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You know what?Mind your own business.
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Yes, I am gay.
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Typical. Look, I.
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I didn't realize I was attracted to guys
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until I was in college. I really don't
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care. What?
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Yeah, you you realized you were gay in
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college, in a safe environment, on your
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own time, on your own terms. Am I
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supposed to feel sorry for
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you, what you went through?Am I supposed
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to just embrace you into the gay
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community?I don't know.
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I hope so. Yeah. Well, you obviously
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don't know the gay community.
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I mean, we're loving an open community
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that embraces everyone, but not you.
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Matt, you're home early.
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Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. Matt,
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this is Adam.
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Alan Reynolds. Really.
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OK, Reynolds. He has
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no idea about the book. It was
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great. He apologized for
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torturing me in high school. He told me
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all about how he realized he was gay and
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his whole coming out. You were
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bullied in high school by a gay kid. No,
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he wasn't gay in high school. No, he came
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out later in college. But he apologized.
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Totally. OK, how brave.
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No, don't give him credit for that. You
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know, he originally wanted to do it over
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the phone. Oh, could you imagine still to
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own up to it and try to make amends?That
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takes balls. No. What took
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balls was for me to say, am I
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supposed to say that all is forgiven?
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Perfect. Am I supposed to feel sorry for
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you and what you went through?Am I
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supposed to just embrace you into the gay
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community?Sorry. You know what takes
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balls?Not giving in. OK, that doesn't
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take balls. That takes anger, which it
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sounds like it gave you in the first
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place. What do you know about it,
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Reynolds?Yeah. Who are you?And and and
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what kind of name is Reynolds?Yeah. What
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is that?Your last name?Get a real name.
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So you had this guy apologize to you for
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something that was done years and years
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ago, and you had the nerve to not accept
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this apology.
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Look who's the bully now. I'm going
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to go take a shower.
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All right. All rightCan you
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take it off?You can rip the shirt. I
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think that'd be best. All right. Tuesday.
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Hey, Brad, do you do you have a
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second?Just just a
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second. Yeah. No. Yeah.
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I've said all that, honestly. No, I could
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have. I could have handled this entire
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situation a lot better. I I thought I was
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over high school. I thought
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that since I've basically dedicated
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my entire life to how to deal with
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bullying, that I would know how to handle
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a bully. Not that you're a bully
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now.
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Not that you're a bully now. You have
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been. Nothing but kind to me and
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and I've been a child. I
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of course you're welcome into the gay
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community and I would be absolutely
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honored to hear your coming out story.
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And at this
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point I probably owe you an apology.
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OK, I'll accept your apology for
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poorly accepting my apology. I'm
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one condition. What?
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You go out with me.
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Second date.
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It's only water
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rushing down on you.
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It's only water
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in a deep, deep pool.
24717
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