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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:04,436
Previously on Mom:
I'm getting a lot
of complaints.
2
00:00:04,438 --> 00:00:06,071
(crying):
Really? About what?
3
00:00:07,474 --> 00:00:10,109
Well, apparently,
one of my waitresses
4
00:00:10,111 --> 00:00:12,311
is having a
nervous breakdown.
5
00:00:12,313 --> 00:00:14,880
Is it Jennifer?
6
00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,515
You're making this about me?
7
00:00:16,517 --> 00:00:18,150
No, it's okay.
I have come to understand
8
00:00:18,152 --> 00:00:19,685
that you were the best daughter
you could be.
9
00:00:19,687 --> 00:00:23,155
My job is to forgive you,
which I do.
10
00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,523
Oh, my God!
11
00:00:25,558 --> 00:00:27,626
I've watched you
lick cocaine crumbs
12
00:00:27,628 --> 00:00:29,795
out of a shag carpet.
13
00:00:31,731 --> 00:00:35,534
It's not a sin
to be thrifty, dear.
14
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,569
I got pregnant with you
when I was a teenager,
15
00:00:37,571 --> 00:00:39,138
and please
don't take this
16
00:00:39,140 --> 00:00:42,808
the wrong way--
it ruined my life.
17
00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:45,711
Sleeping with your
boss-- who does that?
18
00:00:45,713 --> 00:00:47,179
(chuckles)
19
00:00:47,181 --> 00:00:48,514
ROSCOE:
Mom?
20
00:00:52,152 --> 00:00:56,088
Christy, you know
my, uh, wife?
21
00:00:56,090 --> 00:00:58,190
Yeah. Hi, Claudia.
22
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,358
Nice to see you again.
23
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,226
It's "Clowdia."
24
00:01:02,529 --> 00:01:04,329
FYI, the ladies' room
needs some attention.
25
00:01:04,331 --> 00:01:07,032
I don't know if
that's you, Christy.
26
00:01:07,034 --> 00:01:08,167
It's not,
27
00:01:08,169 --> 00:01:10,002
and it's "Christ-y."
28
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:11,870
Oh, I almost forgot,
29
00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,072
your daughter thinks
she might be pregnant.
30
00:01:13,074 --> 00:01:14,339
Call me if you need me.
31
00:01:14,341 --> 00:01:17,009
(door closes)
32
00:01:17,011 --> 00:01:20,379
"Remove the test stick
from the foil wrapper
33
00:01:20,381 --> 00:01:22,548
"and take off the over-cap.
34
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,850
"Holding the test
by the thumb grip,
35
00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:27,086
place the absorbent tip
in urine stream."
36
00:01:29,055 --> 00:01:30,656
You got to tinkle on it.
37
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:35,427
It's not the first time
I've done a pregnancy test, Mom.
38
00:01:35,429 --> 00:01:37,262
Really?
39
00:01:37,264 --> 00:01:40,165
Then why'd you make me read
all those instructions?
40
00:01:41,134 --> 00:01:42,568
Not important.
41
00:01:42,570 --> 00:01:44,636
Let it rip.
42
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:48,073
Can I have some privacy, please?
43
00:01:48,075 --> 00:01:49,641
Sure.
44
00:01:49,643 --> 00:01:51,710
(clears throat)
45
00:01:55,815 --> 00:01:58,584
Violet, I just
want you to know
46
00:01:58,586 --> 00:02:00,552
that if it turns out
you are pregnant,
47
00:02:00,554 --> 00:02:03,622
I will support you
no matter what you decide to do.
48
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:04,890
Thank you.
49
00:02:08,161 --> 00:02:10,229
What do you think
you're gonna do?
50
00:02:10,231 --> 00:02:11,230
What?
51
00:02:11,232 --> 00:02:12,431
You know,
52
00:02:12,433 --> 00:02:13,565
which way you leaning?
53
00:02:13,567 --> 00:02:15,134
I don't know. Get out.
54
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,502
Okay, sorry.
55
00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:22,074
You know, when I found out
I was pregnant with you,
56
00:02:22,076 --> 00:02:24,576
a home pregnancy test
took about 20 minutes.
57
00:02:24,578 --> 00:02:26,145
Uh-huh.
58
00:02:26,147 --> 00:02:27,679
Now it's two minutes.
59
00:02:27,681 --> 00:02:30,015
That's progress.
60
00:02:30,017 --> 00:02:31,617
Yay, science.
61
00:02:31,619 --> 00:02:33,819
I guess.
62
00:02:33,821 --> 00:02:35,120
I mean, it's good news for you,
63
00:02:35,122 --> 00:02:36,655
because the nervous waiting time
is less.
64
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,991
Mom, I can't do this
if you're talking to me.
65
00:02:38,993 --> 00:02:40,425
All right, sure.
66
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:41,994
Pee-shy runs in the family.
67
00:02:41,996 --> 00:02:43,095
Mom!
68
00:02:43,097 --> 00:02:44,163
Sorry.
69
00:02:44,165 --> 00:02:45,497
(trickling)
70
00:02:45,499 --> 00:02:46,665
Oh, good girl!
71
00:02:46,667 --> 00:02:48,167
Be quiet!
72
00:02:48,169 --> 00:02:50,102
(knocking)
73
00:02:50,104 --> 00:02:51,837
Hello?
74
00:02:51,839 --> 00:02:53,005
Hi.
75
00:02:53,007 --> 00:02:54,139
What's the word?
76
00:02:54,141 --> 00:02:56,341
She's doing the test now.
77
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,110
We'll know in a couple minutes.
78
00:02:58,112 --> 00:03:00,312
Wow. Gulp.
79
00:03:00,314 --> 00:03:02,347
Yeah.
80
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:03,715
When I was pregnant with you,
81
00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,350
those home kits took,
like, two hours.
82
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:09,821
Really?
It was a long wait
in a gas station bathroom.
83
00:03:09,823 --> 00:03:11,223
Bonnie, is that you?
Yeah, honey.
84
00:03:11,225 --> 00:03:12,391
Can you come in?
85
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:14,459
Of course.
86
00:03:16,329 --> 00:03:18,497
Why does your grandmother
get to go in and I don't?
87
00:03:18,499 --> 00:03:21,333
Because she won't
lecture me.
88
00:03:21,335 --> 00:03:23,202
I-I don't lecture.
89
00:03:23,204 --> 00:03:25,170
I share my experiences
90
00:03:25,172 --> 00:03:27,906
in the hope that you'll have
a better life than I had,
91
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:30,142
and frankly, I think you
could be a little more grateful.
92
00:03:30,144 --> 00:03:31,143
Oh, screw it, I'm coming in.
93
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:33,145
What's it say?
What's it say?
94
00:03:33,147 --> 00:03:34,713
Nothing yet.
95
00:03:34,715 --> 00:03:36,048
Oh, God, oh, God.
96
00:03:36,050 --> 00:03:37,349
I know, it's so exciting.
97
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:39,084
I'm glad you're excited.
98
00:03:39,086 --> 00:03:40,352
I'm scared to death.
99
00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,887
Hey, don't you worry.
100
00:03:41,889 --> 00:03:44,856
I'm gonna be here for you
whenever you need me, 24-7.
101
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:46,925
Thanks, Bonnie.
102
00:03:48,361 --> 00:03:50,529
I'm gonna be here
for you, too.
103
00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,598
That's your job, Mom.
104
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,233
Ooh.
105
00:03:54,235 --> 00:03:56,301
Here we go,
showtime.
106
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:02,341
Okay.
107
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,509
Wow.
108
00:04:04,511 --> 00:04:06,111
You doing all right?
109
00:04:06,113 --> 00:04:08,914
I... don't know.
110
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,516
Excuse me.
111
00:04:16,256 --> 00:04:17,623
I can't believe this.
112
00:04:17,625 --> 00:04:19,591
Hey, you have to take
some of the responsibility
113
00:04:19,593 --> 00:04:21,226
for this pregnancy.
114
00:04:21,228 --> 00:04:22,594
Are you kidding?
115
00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,962
We had the talk.
116
00:04:23,964 --> 00:04:26,698
I told her about abstinence,
condoms, everything.
117
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,934
Did you mention oral sex
as a work-around?
118
00:04:30,870 --> 00:04:33,438
Oh, my God, it is my fault.
119
00:04:54,460 --> 00:04:55,627
(sighs)
120
00:04:58,264 --> 00:05:00,666
When are you gonna stop
with the bangs?
121
00:05:01,601 --> 00:05:03,302
What?
122
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:05,270
I just... I understood it
123
00:05:05,272 --> 00:05:07,072
when you had a forehead
full of pimples,
124
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,074
but now you're just hiding
a pretty face.
125
00:05:10,343 --> 00:05:12,244
This is the look now.
126
00:05:12,246 --> 00:05:14,246
The First Lady
wears her hair like this.
127
00:05:14,248 --> 00:05:17,249
Well, I don't think
it works on her, either.
128
00:05:17,251 --> 00:05:19,084
Noted.
129
00:05:19,086 --> 00:05:22,120
(sighs)
130
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:23,422
What are we gonna do
about Violet?
131
00:05:23,424 --> 00:05:24,589
I love her hair.
132
00:05:26,125 --> 00:05:27,793
No, the pregnancy.
133
00:05:27,795 --> 00:05:29,928
I don't want her
to wind up like us.
134
00:05:29,930 --> 00:05:31,229
What's the matter with us?
135
00:05:32,932 --> 00:05:35,667
The fact that you don't know
speaks volumes.
136
00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:39,805
She has options.
137
00:05:39,807 --> 00:05:41,506
I know.
138
00:05:41,508 --> 00:05:44,276
(sighs)
Did I ever tell you
139
00:05:44,278 --> 00:05:46,511
how close I came
to giving you up for adoption?
140
00:05:47,947 --> 00:05:49,314
What?
141
00:05:49,316 --> 00:05:52,351
Lovely Jewish couple
from San Francisco,
142
00:05:52,353 --> 00:05:53,852
the Lowensteins.
143
00:05:55,321 --> 00:05:57,155
She played cello
for the philharmonic.
144
00:05:57,157 --> 00:05:58,690
He was a cardiologist.
145
00:05:58,692 --> 00:05:59,891
You never told me this.
146
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:01,026
Oh, yeah.
147
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:03,328
They offered me $25,000 for you.
148
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,497
Why didn't you take it?
149
00:06:05,499 --> 00:06:08,467
They sound fantastic.
150
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,168
Well, they were,
but you were my baby girl.
151
00:06:10,170 --> 00:06:11,370
I loved you.
152
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,139
If you really loved me,
153
00:06:14,141 --> 00:06:17,376
you would've sold me
to the Lowensteins.
154
00:06:17,378 --> 00:06:20,278
Maybe if they'd gone to 30.
155
00:06:22,415 --> 00:06:24,216
I've made a decision.
156
00:06:26,819 --> 00:06:28,620
I'm gonna be a mom.
157
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,457
Eek.
158
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:36,528
Okay.
159
00:06:36,530 --> 00:06:39,064
Well, then,
160
00:06:39,066 --> 00:06:41,600
congratulations.
161
00:06:42,602 --> 00:06:44,236
We're having a baby.
162
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:47,072
I'm so happy
for you, Violet.
163
00:06:47,074 --> 00:06:48,940
Thanks.
And the great thing
164
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,276
about having a baby so
young is after a few years,
165
00:06:51,278 --> 00:06:53,612
you can tell people
the kid's your sibling.
166
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,680
Right, sis?
167
00:06:58,284 --> 00:07:00,519
That's not as cute
as you think it is.
168
00:07:04,891 --> 00:07:07,426
Uh, couple of questions.
169
00:07:07,428 --> 00:07:09,761
What about high school?
170
00:07:09,763 --> 00:07:11,229
What about it?
171
00:07:11,231 --> 00:07:12,798
The baby won't be born
till after I graduate,
172
00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,466
so it shouldn't
be a problem.
173
00:07:15,768 --> 00:07:17,836
Eek.
174
00:07:19,238 --> 00:07:21,406
I guess the next thing
to do is call Luke.
175
00:07:21,408 --> 00:07:22,474
You think he's
the father?
176
00:07:22,476 --> 00:07:24,476
I know he's the father.
177
00:07:24,478 --> 00:07:26,545
How about that?
Old-school.
178
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,281
Grandma!
179
00:07:29,283 --> 00:07:30,282
Ah, ah, ah.
180
00:07:30,284 --> 00:07:31,450
Aunt Bonnie.
181
00:07:31,452 --> 00:07:33,151
There's my boy.
182
00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:35,787
Why do you have
glitter on your shirt?
183
00:07:35,789 --> 00:07:37,456
Dad took me
to his girlfriend's apartment.
184
00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,357
I learned how to swing
on a pole.
185
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:42,627
He's a natural.
186
00:07:44,797 --> 00:07:47,599
I thought your girlfriend worked
at Bed, Bath and Beyond?
187
00:07:47,601 --> 00:07:49,734
Doesn't mean she can't dream.
188
00:07:49,736 --> 00:07:51,503
Okay.
189
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:54,573
Go wash the sad lady
off your hands.
190
00:07:55,908 --> 00:07:57,142
(sighs)
191
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,511
Thanks for taking him
this afternoon.
192
00:07:59,513 --> 00:08:00,912
Hey, I'm his dad.
193
00:08:00,914 --> 00:08:03,148
If I can't spend two hours
a week with him, who can?
194
00:08:04,417 --> 00:08:05,584
It's not always great
195
00:08:05,586 --> 00:08:07,486
knowing who the father is.
196
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,860
Why is my son pregnant?
197
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:23,635
(sighs)
198
00:08:23,637 --> 00:08:26,438
Well, that's a window
into a dark room.
199
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,508
Sorry.
200
00:08:29,510 --> 00:08:31,309
You okay?
201
00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,344
I'm fine.
202
00:08:32,346 --> 00:08:33,678
Come on.
203
00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:35,480
Okay.
204
00:08:35,482 --> 00:08:37,649
Well, I just found out
205
00:08:37,651 --> 00:08:39,484
my teenage daughter is pregnant.
206
00:08:39,486 --> 00:08:42,120
Really? Wow.
207
00:08:42,122 --> 00:08:45,724
She's not a cheerleader
with an overbite, is she?
208
00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:48,894
No. Why?
209
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,962
No reason.
210
00:08:52,665 --> 00:08:54,466
Okay.
211
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:56,501
Nice talking to you, Chef Rudy.
212
00:08:56,503 --> 00:08:58,703
Stay strong, waitress whose name
I do not know.
213
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,642
Thank God.
214
00:09:06,546 --> 00:09:07,646
Here we are.
215
00:09:07,648 --> 00:09:08,980
Oh.
(clears throat)
216
00:09:08,982 --> 00:09:10,582
How is the Chardonnay?
217
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,650
It is delicious.
218
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:12,517
Good choice.
219
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:15,020
Oh, yeah, back in the day,
220
00:09:15,022 --> 00:09:18,423
I could get lost
in a bottle of this stuff.
221
00:09:18,425 --> 00:09:20,525
One time, I woke up
in a Best Western hotel
222
00:09:20,527 --> 00:09:23,395
with two of the roadies
from Counting Crows.
223
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:27,265
But I'm sure
that won't happen to you.
224
00:09:27,267 --> 00:09:29,734
Uh, bon appétit.
225
00:09:33,539 --> 00:09:34,940
Hey.
226
00:09:34,942 --> 00:09:36,241
Hey.
227
00:09:38,177 --> 00:09:39,678
I miss you.
228
00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:41,746
Oh, thanks.
229
00:09:43,883 --> 00:09:45,617
You miss me?
230
00:09:45,619 --> 00:09:47,619
Yeah, sure, I guess.
231
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:49,921
Well, that's not
very encouraging.
232
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:53,024
I'm sorry. I got
a lot on my mind.
233
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:55,427
Well, I'm a good listener.
234
00:09:55,429 --> 00:09:58,697
A penny for your thoughts?
235
00:09:59,765 --> 00:10:02,200
Okay, fine. How's this?
236
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:05,437
I'm working my ass off so I
can take care of my children,
237
00:10:05,439 --> 00:10:07,539
I just found out I'm gonna
be a freaking grandma,
238
00:10:07,541 --> 00:10:09,107
and the man that
I'm sleeping with
239
00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:11,643
only has time for me when
his wife is out of town,
240
00:10:11,645 --> 00:10:13,211
and I desperately want
to run away from it all
241
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:14,646
with a bottle of this,
but I can't
242
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,081
because my name is Christy
and I'm an alcoholic.
243
00:10:16,083 --> 00:10:17,716
Hola, Christy.
244
00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:24,556
MAN (over stereo):
In this moment,
my life is perfect.
245
00:10:24,558 --> 00:10:25,557
(sighs)
246
00:10:25,559 --> 00:10:27,258
In this moment,
247
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,661
my life is perfect.
248
00:10:29,663 --> 00:10:31,730
I breathe in love.
249
00:10:31,732 --> 00:10:33,565
I breathe out fear.
250
00:10:33,567 --> 00:10:35,133
I breathe in love.
251
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:36,668
I breathe out fear.
252
00:10:36,670 --> 00:10:37,836
(knocking)
253
00:10:37,838 --> 00:10:39,371
(screams, horn honks)
254
00:10:41,807 --> 00:10:43,775
Ah, I...
255
00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:45,610
didn't see you there, Luke.
256
00:10:45,612 --> 00:10:46,745
I could tell.
257
00:10:46,747 --> 00:10:48,647
How's it going?
258
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:52,117
that we needed to talk,
so I came right over after work,
259
00:10:52,119 --> 00:10:53,251
and I brought sliders.
260
00:10:53,253 --> 00:10:55,453
Yum.
261
00:10:55,455 --> 00:10:57,155
They give us the ones
that smell iffy.
262
00:10:58,090 --> 00:11:00,258
Double yum.
263
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:02,060
Yeah, it's a pretty sweet perk.
264
00:11:03,329 --> 00:11:04,796
So how was your day?
265
00:11:04,798 --> 00:11:05,830
Not great.
266
00:11:05,832 --> 00:11:07,332
Oh, I'm sorry
to hear that.
267
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:08,333
Mine's been awesome.
268
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:09,801
I got promoted
to shift manager
269
00:11:09,803 --> 00:11:12,437
and found five dollars
in the men's room.
270
00:11:12,439 --> 00:11:13,872
It wasn't even that wet.
271
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:16,708
You're on fire.
272
00:11:16,710 --> 00:11:18,209
Right?
273
00:11:19,845 --> 00:11:21,446
Come on in.
274
00:11:21,448 --> 00:11:24,849
Let's see what the rest
of your life looks like.
275
00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:27,619
Hey, Vi.
Hi, Luke.
276
00:11:27,621 --> 00:11:29,788
Um, I'd kiss you,
but I don't want your mom
277
00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:31,690
to get the wrong idea
about me.
278
00:11:33,292 --> 00:11:35,860
(quietly):
Has that ship sailed.
279
00:11:35,862 --> 00:11:36,961
So, what's going on?
280
00:11:36,963 --> 00:11:39,798
Well, I got some
kind of big news.
281
00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:40,999
Cool. What?
282
00:11:41,001 --> 00:11:42,801
Okay, um...
283
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:43,868
Violet, wait.
284
00:11:43,870 --> 00:11:46,838
Luke, can you
give us a minute?
285
00:11:46,840 --> 00:11:48,373
Sure. I'll nuke
these bad boys
286
00:11:48,375 --> 00:11:49,941
so we don't get
the squirts.
287
00:11:52,678 --> 00:11:54,412
Isn't he amazing?
288
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:56,414
Yeah.
289
00:11:57,850 --> 00:12:01,252
I just think it's important
that you understand
290
00:12:01,254 --> 00:12:04,489
he might not have the maturity
to deal with this situation.
291
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:05,857
I'm just gonna hit
the popcorn button
292
00:12:05,859 --> 00:12:07,125
and see what happens.
293
00:12:10,396 --> 00:12:12,897
Luke loves me. I love him.
294
00:12:12,899 --> 00:12:14,733
We're gonna make this work.
295
00:12:14,735 --> 00:12:17,669
Honey, I just don't want you
to get hurt.
296
00:12:17,671 --> 00:12:19,838
Young guys spook real easy,
297
00:12:19,840 --> 00:12:21,873
and you can't count on them
sticking around.
298
00:12:21,875 --> 00:12:23,174
Whoa.
299
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:26,845
I think I know what
you wanted to tell me.
300
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,113
You do?
301
00:12:28,115 --> 00:12:29,848
Yeah.
302
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:32,751
You're having a baby.
303
00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:37,355
So close.
304
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,259
Violet?
305
00:12:43,729 --> 00:12:45,463
Luke, I'm having a baby.
306
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,299
Wait.
307
00:12:48,301 --> 00:12:51,102
So you're both pregnant?
308
00:12:53,739 --> 00:12:55,907
No, just me.
309
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:58,710
Oh.
310
00:12:58,712 --> 00:13:02,580
Well, that's...
311
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:03,882
so cool!
312
00:13:05,651 --> 00:13:07,218
There's still time for you.
313
00:13:08,053 --> 00:13:10,054
Not much, but keep at it.
314
00:13:11,490 --> 00:13:12,991
Thank you.
315
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:17,495
So you're not gonna get
scared and run off?
316
00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,264
Why would I run off?
317
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:22,934
I love you,
and I'm gonna love your baby.
318
00:13:22,936 --> 00:13:25,904
Um, it's our baby.
319
00:13:25,906 --> 00:13:28,740
What?
320
00:13:33,913 --> 00:13:35,380
Even better!
321
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:48,927
That's why I get so frustrated
with the people at work.
322
00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:52,163
(quietly):
I slept with that guy.
323
00:13:52,165 --> 00:13:53,865
Really?
324
00:13:53,867 --> 00:13:57,035
He cries when he finishes.
325
00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,337
What do you mean?
326
00:13:59,339 --> 00:14:01,172
Like a happy cry?
No.
327
00:14:01,174 --> 00:14:03,842
More like a...
328
00:14:03,844 --> 00:14:05,910
(sobs in low voice)
329
00:14:08,380 --> 00:14:11,149
And that tiny dude over there
in the red shirt?
330
00:14:11,151 --> 00:14:13,218
Did you sleep
with him, too?
331
00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,987
Well, I wasn't going to at first
because of our height disparity,
332
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:18,690
and then I decided to do it
anyway as, like, a good deed.
333
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:22,894
That's how you
get into Heaven:
334
00:14:22,896 --> 00:14:25,096
letting a little
guy go up on you.
335
00:14:26,398 --> 00:14:29,901
I wish. All he wanted to do
was spank me.
336
00:14:31,003 --> 00:14:34,639
Well, no good deed
goes unpunished.
337
00:14:34,641 --> 00:14:38,676
I had to sit
on my hip for a week.
338
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,812
So how many men at this
meeting have you slept with?
339
00:14:40,814 --> 00:14:42,747
Oh, please,
this is a sacred space
340
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,883
dedicated to recovery
and healing.
341
00:14:44,885 --> 00:14:46,117
Six.
342
00:14:49,521 --> 00:14:52,023
WOMAN:
Anyone else like to share?
343
00:14:52,025 --> 00:14:53,658
Oh, me.
344
00:14:54,493 --> 00:14:57,195
Haven't you shared enough?
345
00:14:57,197 --> 00:14:58,429
Hi. I'm Bonnie,
346
00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,530
and I'm an alcoholic.
347
00:14:59,532 --> 00:15:01,532
ALL:
Hi, Bonnie.
I just want
348
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:04,035
to start by saying how grateful
I am to this program.
349
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:07,438
Not only am I happily sober,
but so is my daughter.
350
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,275
And let me tell you,
she was a hot mess.
351
00:15:10,277 --> 00:15:11,743
Come on.
Stand up, honey.
352
00:15:11,745 --> 00:15:12,977
Let everybody see
how pretty you are now.
353
00:15:15,881 --> 00:15:17,782
Imagine her without the bangs.
354
00:15:20,586 --> 00:15:22,420
P.S. She's single, fellas.
355
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:24,856
Not for you, Spanky.
356
00:15:26,792 --> 00:15:29,294
Anyhow, it's just a real gift
to have her back in my life.
357
00:15:29,296 --> 00:15:31,195
And, uh, I know
I wasn't the world's
358
00:15:31,197 --> 00:15:32,964
greatest mom
when she was growing up,
359
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:35,066
what with all my drinking
and drugging and dealing
360
00:15:35,068 --> 00:15:36,534
and managing
an international escort service
361
00:15:36,536 --> 00:15:38,202
with ties
to the Russian mob, but...
362
00:15:40,072 --> 00:15:42,407
You know, it's hard
to have a career and be a mom.
363
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:43,641
Am I right, ladies?
364
00:15:46,045 --> 00:15:49,080
I remember this one time,
she was five years old.
365
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:51,983
Maybe she was 11.
The point is she was little.
366
00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:55,053
And I pulled her out of school,
moved us up to Manitoba
367
00:15:55,055 --> 00:15:56,921
where I opened up
a daycare center
368
00:15:56,923 --> 00:15:59,490
that was a front
for an Ecstasy distribution hub.
369
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,225
It worked out really well
370
00:16:01,227 --> 00:16:04,896
until one Mountie
had to be a freaking hero.
371
00:16:06,065 --> 00:16:08,633
You are so lucky
to have her for a mother.
372
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,568
You don't have to tell me.
373
00:16:10,570 --> 00:16:11,636
She's a...
I mean it!
374
00:16:11,638 --> 00:16:12,971
You don't have to tell me.
375
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,575
Don't get me wrong.
I love Canada.
376
00:16:17,577 --> 00:16:19,110
Hey, remember Canadian beer?
377
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:21,179
Wasn't that great?
378
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:28,653
Hello?
379
00:16:28,655 --> 00:16:30,021
Violet?
380
00:16:33,492 --> 00:16:35,360
Did you finish
your homework?
Yep.
381
00:16:35,362 --> 00:16:37,128
Did you brush
your teeth?
382
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:38,463
I think so.
383
00:16:38,465 --> 00:16:40,164
Mmm, what do you mean,
you "think so"?
384
00:16:40,166 --> 00:16:41,499
My brain is full.
385
00:16:41,501 --> 00:16:43,101
I'm worried
about the Middle East.
386
00:16:44,303 --> 00:16:45,970
VIOLET:
All right,
you'll brush
387
00:16:45,972 --> 00:16:47,205
twice as long
in the morning.
388
00:16:47,207 --> 00:16:48,373
Get in there.
389
00:16:49,608 --> 00:16:51,109
Middle East.
390
00:16:55,447 --> 00:16:57,615
Want to know a secret?
391
00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,117
Sure.
392
00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:00,818
You're gonna be an uncle.
393
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,053
Cool.
394
00:17:02,055 --> 00:17:04,055
Do you know
what that means?
395
00:17:04,057 --> 00:17:07,125
Yeah. I'm your boyfriend
and I get to sleep over.
396
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:10,461
No, that's a different kind
of uncle.
397
00:17:10,463 --> 00:17:13,164
It means
that I'm gonna have a baby.
398
00:17:13,166 --> 00:17:15,233
Really?
399
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:17,635
A human baby?
400
00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:21,939
I hope so.
401
00:17:23,575 --> 00:17:25,243
But I'm gonna need your help.
402
00:17:25,245 --> 00:17:26,644
With what?
403
00:17:26,646 --> 00:17:28,012
Taking care of the baby.
404
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,515
Oh, sure.
I'll take good care of it
405
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:32,650
like you take good care of me.
406
00:17:32,652 --> 00:17:34,986
You're gonna be
a great uncle.
407
00:17:34,988 --> 00:17:36,888
ROSCOE:
I have a secret, too.
408
00:17:36,890 --> 00:17:38,156
VIOLET:
What's that?
409
00:17:38,158 --> 00:17:40,825
I haven't brushed my teeth
in three days.
410
00:17:40,827 --> 00:17:42,293
You little stinker!
411
00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:48,599
Mom?
412
00:17:48,601 --> 00:17:49,700
(sobbing softly)
413
00:17:49,702 --> 00:17:52,070
What's wrong?
414
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,741
You're a better mother
than I am.
415
00:17:59,545 --> 00:18:01,145
I know.
416
00:18:07,019 --> 00:18:09,187
You're gonna love
my gynecologist.
417
00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:11,422
He's got very small hands.
418
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:14,926
Like an Asian raccoon.
419
00:18:14,928 --> 00:18:16,094
Mom, please!
420
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:22,200
I'm gonna be an uncle.
421
00:18:22,202 --> 00:18:24,469
Unless it's a girl.
Then I'll be an aunt.
422
00:18:26,138 --> 00:18:30,041
I respect
your open-mindedness.
423
00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:33,311
Gotta give this kid Luke
points for showing up.
424
00:18:33,313 --> 00:18:35,646
He claims he loves her.
425
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:36,981
Well, we'll see.
426
00:18:36,983 --> 00:18:38,616
I had three significant
relationships end
427
00:18:38,618 --> 00:18:41,119
while I was pregnant
with you, so...
428
00:18:44,389 --> 00:18:46,057
Christy?
429
00:18:46,059 --> 00:18:47,425
Carla?
430
00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:48,893
Hi.
431
00:18:48,895 --> 00:18:50,995
I haven't seen you
since high school.
432
00:18:50,997 --> 00:18:52,763
Yeah, hi!
433
00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,932
Wow! Look at you.
434
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,135
Yeah, finally getting around
to starting a family.
435
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:58,136
And you?
436
00:18:58,138 --> 00:19:00,238
I, uh...
437
00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:03,674
I'm fighting
a nasty yeast infection.
438
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,644
And with the support
439
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:10,348
of her entire family,
she will win this battle.
440
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,422
Am I right?
441
00:19:18,424 --> 00:19:20,057
Oh, come on.
442
00:19:22,628 --> 00:19:24,662
And there is your baby.
443
00:19:27,266 --> 00:19:28,366
Wow.
444
00:19:29,835 --> 00:19:31,536
Luke, look what we made.
445
00:19:31,538 --> 00:19:34,138
Unreal.
446
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,207
I can't wait for it
to grow feet
447
00:19:36,209 --> 00:19:38,276
so I can make
moccasins for it.
448
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:39,677
Mom, come here.
449
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:44,115
I'm gonna need your help.
450
00:19:44,117 --> 00:19:46,350
I'll be here.
451
00:19:50,789 --> 00:19:52,723
Mom?
452
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:57,161
I'm gonna need your help.
453
00:19:57,163 --> 00:19:59,397
I'm not going
anywhere.
454
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,734
"Clitoris."
455
00:20:17,316 --> 00:20:19,917
(humming)
456
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:21,819
Well, someone's in a good mood.
457
00:20:21,821 --> 00:20:24,188
You know, I am.
458
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:27,158
I am just loving my life
right now.
459
00:20:27,160 --> 00:20:29,293
Mmm. Cocaine?
460
00:20:30,762 --> 00:20:32,296
Family.
461
00:20:33,232 --> 00:20:35,266
Family.
462
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:36,367
That stuff will kill you.
463
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,368
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
464
00:20:37,370 --> 00:20:38,369
WARNER BROS. TELEVISION
465
00:20:38,371 --> 00:20:40,104
and TOYOTA.
466
00:20:40,106 --> 00:20:42,240
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
35484
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