All language subtitles for The.Last.Drive-in.with.Joe.Bob.Briggs.S33E06.Ringu.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BFM_track3_[eng]

-Welcome back to the second half

of our Walpurgisnacht
celebration,

Witches' Night.
-Whoo!

-Witch-a-palooza.
-Whoo.

-And we are about to watch
a film about a Japanese witch,

a Japanese ghost witch

who expresses her rage and power
and evil by haunting...

a VHS tape.

Yes, that's what I said.

Darcy, correct me if I'm wrong

about any
of the following facts.

-Oh, you know I will.

-Numero uno, the VHS tape

has the worst image
of any media photography format

in the history of mankind.

-Oh, no, I disagree,
but I know that's how you feel.

-I mean, cinematograph,
Eidoloscope, bioscope, nitrate,

formats that are more
than 100 years old

are better
than VHS tape resolution.

APS, 16 millimeter,
8 millimeter, Todd-AO,

Cinerama, Fox Movietone,
Magna Film, Academy.

-Okay, I get the point.

No!

Let's give this Japanese ghost
a chance, okay?

Matted, 185,
Cinemascope, VistaVision,

Technirama, Superscope,
Panavision, anamorphic...

70 millimeter.
-What are you doing?

-This Japanese ghost witch
in tonight's movie

could've used QuadraVision,
Techniscope,

Super 8, Dimension 180,
IMAX, Showscan,

Motion Master, but no!

The format of choice
is VHS tape!

Not even Betamax!

Which was invented
by the Japanese,

which had a higher quality
image than VHS tape.

And this brings up
another subject, Darcy.

-We are already
on another subject?

-Yes!
-Okay.

-Why do people
collect VHS tapes?

Do they enjoy suffering?

-I think it's a nostalgia thing
for a lot of people,

but I honestly just
think it looks pretty.

-It looks pretty.
-It's pretty!

-I understand vinyl records.

There are subtle differences
in the sound quality,

but VHS tape?

There are not subtle differences

in the image quality
or the sound quality,

it all just sucks!

-There are a lot of people
who would disagree with you.

-Do you ever see somebody or --
maybe this has happened to you.

You know, the tape is
falling out of the plastic box.

It is strung all over the sofa.

There's maybe 30 feet of tape

that's come out
of the holder here,

and you're using your fingernail
to move the little sprockets,

to put it back in,
and somebody says,

"And it was right
when Christopher Reeve

was about
to die of a broken heart.

Now, he's going
to be cross-eyed,

and it's going to sound
like he's snoring

every time he joins Elise
in the afterlife."

And sure enough, you have
a new version of the movie

that belongs only to you.

That's the VHS experience.

-A "Somewhere in Time"
reference, holy moly.

You are very passionate
about this, sir.

When people
come up to our table,

when we're at conventions,
and they purchase VHS tapes,

which are manufactured and sold

by our entrepreneurial producer
Justin Martell,

I always ask the purchaser,

"Do you have a VCR
in working order?"

And they almost always
say "Yes, I do."

And then I say, "Do you realize

that the last
VCR playback device

was manufactured 10 years ago,

and there will never
be another new one?"

And if they still
want to talk after that, I say,

"Do you realize that
the image quality on a VHS tape

is like watching movies
through a goldfish bowl?"

-And sometimes,
they disagree with you.

-Yes, they do, but...

So, here's my question
about a witch

who imprints her vengeance
on a VHS tape.

What if you crack
the plastic case

when you're taking it
in and out of the player?

What if the tape
bunches up or goes slack,

or one of the reels gets stuck

and you have to pull it
out of the machine

and use your fingernail
to sync it up again?

What if it starts slowing down
every three seconds,

or wobbling like a bakery truck
that blew a tire?

Besides being a crappy format,

VHS tape
is an undependable format

when it comes to hexing.

To hexing?

-Yeah, putting hexes on people.

Nevertheless, I can see
why "Ringu" is a popular movie.

And by the way, do you know
why it's called "Ringu"?

-The Japanese word
for ring, right?

-Well, somebody explained that
to me, I mean...

-Okay.
-But you're a Japanese expert.

You have partied in Tokyo.

Then, I am an expert.

I think "Ringu" is the Japanese
version of "The Ring."

Oh, wait, "Ringu"
is the Japanese version,

and "The Ring"
is the English version.

Right?
-Well, yeah...

But is "Ringu" the Japanese
word for ring?

And if it is the Japanese
word for ring,

is it "ring ring"
like the phone rings,

or "ring" like a ring
on your finger,

or "ring" like
"Ring Around the Rosie," or...

What ring is it that corresponds
to the "ringu" word in Japanese?

-It's a complicated way

to use the English
word "ring" in Japanese.

-A complicated way
to use the English...

-I don't know! You're making me
make things up right now.

-It's sort of insane.
Anyway, I'm not surprised

that the movie is popular
with hardcore horror fans

because almost
all VHS collectors

are also hardcore horror fans.

-Yeah 'cause the video covers
look amazing.

-That's true,
they love the video box covers,

that's a big part of collecting.

The actual video box
needs to be intact

and have cool art on it,
or else they don't collect it.

But this witch tape
has no cool art on it.

It's just a random tape.

Anyway, the Japanese filmmakers
hate technology.

Japan in general thinks --

even though so much technology
comes from Japan --

but Japan thinks technology
is evil,

especially their own technology.

So, it's not that strange
that the most popular movie

in the history
of Japanese horror, "Ringu,"

I think it broke all
the box office records worldwide

for a Japanese film.

It's not that strange
that it would be a ghost story

because they love ghost stories,

but it's also not that strange
that it would use technology

as a delivery vehicle for evil,

because that's what all those
J-horror movies were about

in the late '90s, early 2000s.

Remember "Pulse"?

-Yes.
-Remember that one?

A version of the internet
that allows the dead

to return to the world
of the living, right?

-Mm-hmm.
-Or "The Manual"?

A DVD that demonstrates
the best way to commit suicide.

Or "Ghost System,"

about a machine that allows
the dead to materialize

and attack the world.

-I guess there really were
a lot of evil technology movies.

-"One Missed Call,"
remember that?

-Yeah! Your phone predicts
the time and date of your death.

-Yeah, that's horror
made especially for you

because you never
leave your phone.

-It's my job!
-"Suicide Circle."

Some pop song that leads people
to commit suicide.

Bottom line, technology is
always evil in Japanese horror.

-You know,
I never thought about it before,

but that's true.
-So, anyway!

We will get to that in a minute,
right now, I want everybody

to get out your "Last Drive-In"
Walpurgisnacht to drink menus.

-Oh, boy.

-I sent those out
because it's time to medicate.

If you're going full bore
Walpurgis with us tonight,

meaning you're going to end up

naked in the woods...
-Whoo!

-...you will need six beverages
from here on out.

And they are...

Maibowle.

This is a, um, wine punch.

A little bit like sangria.

It's made from white wine
and herbs.

It's kind of a spritzer.

Here. Try one.

-Oh, we're doing it. Alright.
-Yeah, we're doing it.

Here we go, Maibowle.

Alright.

Yeah.

Maibock!

This is the...

-Do I have to drink this?

I mean, yay!

-Are you into Walpurgisnacht
or not, Darcy?

Maibock.
-Let's do it.

-This is the special
German lager

brewed only in April and May.

Ahh.

If you have the menu, then you
know where to get this stuff.

You should already have it.

Third...

Any sparkling wine.

I don't really
recommend champagne.

That's too fancy
for Walpurgisnacht.

But Prosecco, that's great.
Get some $15 Italian Prosecco.

Alright.

Um...

Fourth, brandy.

Go crazy on brandy.

If you want
to be really authentic,

the brand you should get
is Asbach Uralt,

German brandy
from Rüdesheim, Germany.

But if you didn't plan ahead,

I know many of you turkeys
do not plan ahead.

You're gonna grab some Bardinet.
You know why?

Because when you go
in the liquor store and say,

"what's your cheapest brandy,"
they always say Bardinet.

But at least get
the Bardinet XO.

Don't get
the $9 puke juice, okay?

Brandy.

Alright, fifth...

Linnunrata.

Finnish mead.

This is like Sweet Tarts
with a kick.

-Oh, okay. I'll get that one.

Actually, that was not
the Finnish...

This is the Finnish mead here.

-I feel like you're
gonna be spry as fuck soon.

I tell you what that was.

Finally...

because we're Americans...

I'm happy to go back to that.

Because we're Americans
and we need it,

grab some Russell Reserve,

which is the small batch
Wild Turkey

because you gotta do something

to cut the bite
of all this sweet stuff

that you're drinking, so...

Now, if you're Scottish
and you refuse

to drink American bourbon
on principle,

get some Macallan 12.

But alright, I'm going
with the Russell Reserve.

Mm.

Alright.
-Whoo!

Jesus.

-And...

-Whoo!

-One more thing
before we get started.

We are still honoring
the great American witches

of witch history tonight.

And I want to zero in on some
Connecticut witches.

-Alright.

-Because Salem
gets all the glory,

but actually, they were
killing witches in Connecticut

long before that stuff
happened in Salem.

Alse Young, 31 years old,

hanged in Meetinghouse Square,
Windsor, Connecticut,

May 26th, 1647.

Alse had a daughter, Alice,

who would, herself
be charged with witchcraft

30 years later
in Springfield, Massachusetts,

but she escaped the death
penalty and just did jail time.

We don't know exactly
what Alse Young did

or who she bewitched,

all we know is that she
paid for it with her life.

And Windsor, actually,
Windsor, Connecticut,

that's where they still grow
Connecticut shade tobacco,

which is used
for the best cigar wrappers.

They used to have
tobacco farms up there

over hundreds of square miles

up there in that part
of Connecticut.

And then at some point,
somebody said they didn't --

they didn't want to compete with
Central American cigar wrappers,

which are shit.

And the whole process
for Connecticut shade

went to virtually zero,
which is why some of the --

why a lot of cigars
started to suck.

So...
-Okay.

-Anyway.
-Is this related to witches?

-Yeah, it is. We're gonna
have a moment here...

um...

for Alse, you know...

honor her as a witch.

Actually,
the first witch executed

in the United States,
or in, uh, England,

or in Colonial America.

I've had too much.
-Yes, I believe you have.

-Anyway, if they hadn't
killed the witch...

-Mm-hmm.
-Um...

You know, God wouldn't have sent
whatever natural calamity

killed the tobacco business
in Connecticut.

- That's what I was talking about.
- Ah!

Alright, well...

Sometimes,
you're just bizarre, sir.

I know.

Okay.

Maybe we should watch a movie.

Ya think?

-What we have here is a VHS tape
that, if you watch it,

you get a phone call
from a witch

telling you that you'll die
in exactly one week.

Except, some people
don't get the phone call.

They just get
the death sentence.

And when the niece
of a TV journalist

gets zapped by the ghost witch,

the single mom journalist
decides to investigate

along with her semi-psychic
ex-husband,

but the whole family
gets VHS infected

and it's a race against time
to see whether VHS Hexing

can prevail against attempts
to unearth the root cause

of the harridan ghost rage.

Sure, we've seen it before,

but have we seen it
with Polaroid Corpus Rictus,

in which the faces
of the victims

are twisted into paralytic
cartoon screaming images?

I think not.

So, let's take a look at those
drive-in totals and get started.

We have...

Even though...

in the TV version of this story,

there were so many breasts
it qualified as soft porn...

It was the...

Maibock.

What?

Drive-In Academy Award
nominations for...

Nanako Matsushima,
the queen of Japanese TV movies,

as the journalist
Hiroyuki Sanada.

-Yeah?
-I'm sorry.

-No.

-She's not the journalist
Hiroyuki Sanada.

Hiroyuki Sanada is the next guy

for a Drive-In Academy Award.
-It's okay.

Hiroyuki Sanada...

who is normally a Japanese
martial arts action star,

but he plays
the ex-husband professor

who says
"Maybe we should all die."

And Hideo Nakata, the director,

for starting
the Japanese horror boom.

Three stars.
Joe Bob says check it out.

-You did good.
-Darcy...look.

I had to put that in
about the Connecticut tobacco

because that, that shade tobacco

that they grew up there
has never been equaled.

They used that on Cohibas!

-I get it!
-Alright!

Fidel Castro's own personal,
you know, favorite cigar.

They started putting Connecticut
shade wrappers on those things.

I mean, sure,
the main part of the cigar

was from the Vuelta Abajo.

They won't even tell you
the exact location

of those Vuelta Abajo
Cohiba fields.

-Right...
-State secret.

But they still agreed

that Connecticut wrappers
were superior.

And then,
I don't know what happened.

What is wrong with people
in Connecticut?

They just tax the farmers
or something,

and the tobacco fields
in Connecticut

got smaller and smaller,

and there's maybe
a couple hundred acres left,

but it's around Windsor,
which we're talking about.

But that's pathetic!
But really, I mean...

You want a wrapper
from Nicaragua?

-You know, I personally
don't want any cigar, really.

-Well, there you go.
There you go!

That's how far
civilization has declined.

You don't want any wrapper.

-I feel like -- I feel like
you've had a lot of mead there.

-Little bit, yeah.
-Little bit.

-Mm.

-You know...

one thing the Japanese will do

that American filmmakers
try to avoid

is kill children.

So, here, you apparently
have a video

that's out there wasting
the child population,

and it's hard to get
information on it?

That's not the number one
news item?!

How could all
these young people die

with the same twisted expression
on their faces,

and it not be all over
The National Enquirer

or whatever the Japanese version
of The National Enquireris?

Especially since Reiko Asakawa,

the single mom
who's discovering it,

is a television reporter!

You know, find out
"what high school they went to."

You need to investigate that?!

Anyway, "Ringu" is the movie

that launched the international
J-horror craze.

J-horror being the media's
abbreviation

for Japanese horror,

and it had the connotation
of being strange

and exotic
compared to American horror.

American horror in 1998,

when this came out,
was all about...

It was all about two movies.

It was about "Scream"...
-Whoo!

-That was the first
self-referential...

meta-slasher.

Is that accurate?

And then
"The Blair Witch Project,"

which was the first
found-footage film

that went
for documentary realism.

Then, this movie comes along
and it's a slow burn,

sort of old-fashioned
mystery slasher,

and it got a whole lot
of attention, not right away,

but after it played

the Rotterdam International
Film Festival in the year 2000,

everybody started talking about
extreme Asian cinema

because they lumped in
Korean movies and Thai movies

with the Japanese movies,
even though...

the Korean movies
and the Thai movies

didn't have much in common
with the Japanese movies.

The director of "Ringu",
Hideo Nakata,

had been around for a while.

He wasn't particularly
interested in horror.

In fact,
after training as a scientist

at the University of Tokyo,

he had first gone to work as an
assistant director at Nikkatsu.

That was the oldest
film studio in Japan,

goes back to the silent era,

but it had fallen on bad times

and they turned to porn
to survive.

So, it was known

for its so-called pink movies,

soft-core porn.

And after
training in that world,

he was especially in the part
of it called Roman porn.

S&M, bondage movies.

Anyway, he made
his first film in 1992.

Didn't make much of a splash.

It was called
"Curse, Death, and Spirit."

Anthology film,
three short films,

two of which were written
by Hiroshi Takahashi,

the screenwriter for the movie
that we're watching right now.

And then, he left the country
for a while.

He went to England on some kind
of cultural exchange program,

where he became obsessed

with the American director
Joseph Losey.

And he made a documentary
on Joseph Losey.

And when he got back to Japan,

he was still doing
some pink movies for money.

He made one called "Diary of a
Female Teacher: Forbidden Sex,"

but he was a fan
of the novels of Koji Suzuki,

who wrote "The Ring" in 1991,

and that sold
millions of copies, in fact...

Let me back up.

Let's start with Koji Suzuki.

I'm getting
ahead of myself here.

The novel "The Ring"
was written in 1991,

when Koji Suzuki
was a stay-at-home dad

writing articles
about parenting.

And so, he writes "The Ring,"
and virtually overnight,

he becomes referred to
as the Stephen King of Japan,

which is kind of condescending
to call somebody that, you know.

You know, what, are you going
to have that in every country?

The Stephen King of Armenia,

The Stephen King of France,
you know?

But anyway, I doubt
that he liked that description.

But that's how
his publisher sold his books.

Fuji TV bought the rights
to "The Ring"

and did a TV movie version of it

with a lot of horny teens
and nudity.

What they call in Japan

dry ice and tits.

-Nice.
-That's what they call it.

And it did okay,

but it didn't really capture
the spirit of the book.

And so, Suzuki and his agents

were open to remaking it
as a theatrical feature,

and Hideo Nakata
was all over that.

He went after that job,
and he enlisted

his old friend Hiroshi Takahashi
to do the screenplay.

And that's the movie
that we're watching

that turns out
to be the foundation film

of the Asian horror boom
of the late '90s, early 2000s.

About 10 years, what was called
extreme Asian cinema.

I'll get into it more
as the movie goes on, so...

But Darcy, drink up.
We gotta tackle this mead.

-Oh, you know,
I have my own libations.

-You did?
-I...Yeah.

-Look at this spread, though.
I mean, it's just beckoning us.

-Oh, I have already
been beckoned.

-So, I was talking
at the last break

about the witches of Connecticut
as opposed to Massachusetts.

They killed 11 witches
in Connecticut...

out of 36 cases,

and the ones
that didn't get executed

were banished from Connecticut.

That's not being banished
very great distance,

but they were banished
from Connecticut,

or they fled to somewhere else,
like Rhode Island or something.

So -- and what...

what you notice
about these cases

is that the men go free.

Men could be charged
with witchcraft, too,

but they would usually
weasel out of it.

Not Giles Corey,
the one we honored last year.

You know, the one that was
pressed to death with stones.

-Yeah, that one was so much fun.

-Yeah, right, my performance
as Giles Corey was...

-Was excellent.
-...became a meme or something.

Let's not go there.
But for example...

this guy named Hugh Crotia
in Fairfield, Connecticut,

he came forward
and admitted that, yes,

he made a pact with the devil,

he practiced black magic
against the public,

but the court
listened to all the evidence

and declared him an "ignoramus."

That was the official
designation.

And as an ignoramus,
he was allowed to go free.

So, now, that was not true
for Mary Johnson,

a house servant
in Hartford, Connecticut,

who was accused of theft,
so she had to leave town

and she got another
house servant job

in Wethersfield, Connecticut,

and she was again
accused of theft.

And then, she was brought
before the local ministers

so she could be whipped.

And so, in the course
of being whipped,

she basically says,
the devil made me do it.

And she was tortured
and eventually confessed

to "uncleanness"

with men and devils,

and the murder of a child,
she didn't name the child,

but she said
she murdered a child.

Anyway.

But...her capital crime
was just

familiarity with the devil.

They didn't care about
the uncleanness or the murder,

just familiarity with the devil.

And when they put her in jail,

they discovered
she was pregnant.

So, they waited
'til she had the baby,

then they immediately
put her to death,

as soon as she had the baby,

and the baby boy was given
to the prison keeper

so he could be raised
as an indentured servant.

How sick is that?
-That is so sick.

-So, anyway, Mary Johnson
is our witch of the moment.

Let's have a moment
for Mary Johnson.

Mary, this mead is for you.

That's not mead,
that's the Maibock.

This is the mead.

-I don't think that's the mead.
-No, this is the mead.

This is the mead. Yeah.

-It's all mead.
-This is mead for you.

And now, we can go
back to the movie.

-I feel like you're
not really helping the witches

with these stories.

-No, Darcy, because
I'm Team Burn the Witches.

-I thought you were all about
"live and let live."

-Well, yeah,
unless you're a ghost witch

killing children with VHS tapes.

It's a little silly, maybe.

-It's VHS tape, Darcy.

I can't get over it,
as a supernatural murder weapon,

it's VHS tape!

Wow!

Let it go, man.

Oh, okay.

So, we can gather from all this

that our single mom
reporter lady...

is fucked. She's...

she's now on the list.

But since that videotape
is so weird and hard to follow,

let's go over exactly
what's on that videotape.

You know, first,
you see a circle of sky

with water moving inside it.

Right?
-Yes.

-Partially obscured by a man
looking down from above.

Next, you see a young woman
in a mirror

on the far left of the screen,
brushing her hair.

And next, that mirror disappears

and you see a child's figure
standing behind the woman,

hair down to her waist,

white shirt, bare feet.

The first woman looks back
to the child woman

and then slowly turns back
to the mirror.

Then, a bunch of letters...

floating across the screen,
spelling out the word "eruption"

over and over again.

Next, a blue tinted scene with
a bunch of men moving slowly,

and some of them are crawling
toward the edge of the screen.

And now, another
blue tinted scene

showing a man with a white towel
draped over his head,

pointing off to the left

while waves
crash in the background.

And then,
there's a close up of an eye

with a word
in the middle of the pupil.

And the word is "sada."

And the eye blinks twice.

And then, it blinks once more.

And finally,
there's an image of a well

in the middle of a forest.

And then, there's just static.

Yep.

-So, she's fucked.
-Yes.

-So, it's basically six images

that we take away
from this tape.

It's a woman combing her long
black hair but hiding her face.

Men watching her,
pointing at her,

crawling toward her.

The word "eruption."

Water everywhere.

An eye with "sada"
written on it, which means...

that means "chaste child"...

in kanji.

You know what kanji is?
Those characters.

-My tattoo.

-Oh, yeah.
You have a kanji tattoo.

And then, a final shot
of the well.

And we know
that it worked on Reiko

because the woman with long hair
ends up...

standing behind her,

reflected in the TV.

Now, if you're Japanese,
these images

wouldn't be as hard to decipher
as they are for us

because one
of the oldest characters

in Japanese ghost stories
is the Euryale Ghost,

or the Vengeance Spirit,

and the Euryale ghost
wears a white kimono,

and has long, messy black hair,

and she has a bluish white face
as though she's cold,

and clammy blue skin as though
she just came out of the water,

and most importantly,

a solitary, leering,
bloodshot eye.

And this ghost
lives in eternal pain

and has contempt
for anything that's alive.

And she has slow,
spastic movements,

and there have been
literally hundreds

of books and plays and movies

with different versions
of the Euryale Ghost.

It was originally
a kabuki play written in 1825,

but they started making
film versions of her

as early as 1911,

and in the original story,
she was the wife

of this cold-hearted samurai

who murders her
so he can be with another woman,

so she returns from the dead
to drive him to insanity.

And the reason
she has droopy eyes

is that he poisoned her
to kill her,

and for some reason,
they always used

shadows, and smoke, and fire

to obscure the actor's feet
when you play Euryale on stage.

Something about her feet,
I don't quite understand it.

And also,
she could float on the stage.

Anyway, she returns
to this world

to take vengeance
on her husband,

but she hates everybody.

Because everybody is getting in
her way of taking her vengeance.

That's a great ghost and
a great witch, don't you think?

Sure...

It's amazing.

-What is it you love
about Japan so much?

You love Japan.

-Oh, Lord, how do I
explain that? Um...

It's just beautiful, and quirky,
and full of color and life.

And the people there are just...

They're just so sweet
and the vibe there is just so...

different from here.

It's just, like,
more happy and carefree feeling,

generally speaking.
-Mm. Well...

Obviously, you never
ran into the Euryale ghost.

-I guess not,
but I think I would like her.

-Alright.

Well, our next honored witch
for this evening

is Lydia Gilbert
of Windsor, Connecticut.

So, you have these two guys

who are in military training,
Thomas Allen and Henry Stiles.

And they're mustering up
for their military training.

And Thomas Allen's gun goes off

and he shoots Stiles
through the head

and Stiles dies on the spot.

So, three years later,
Lydia Gilbert

is arrested and charged
with using witchcraft

to make Thomas Allen's gun
discharge and kill Henry Stiles.

'Cause it was well known
that Lydia didn't like Stiles.

She was a boarder
in the Stiles house, and he...

he sometimes lent money
to her husband.

And she quarreled with him
all the time,

and the court
decided that the reason

she was such an angry,
quarrelsome woman

is that she was
practicing witchcraft.

And so, she killed Stiles by
bewitching this other guy's gun.

And they executed
Lydia Gilbert for that.

She wasn't even present
when the guy died.

She was levitating that gun
from a great distance.

Powerful witch.

This was in Connecticut in...

1654.

-That is definitely
a powerful witch.

-Yeah, let's have a moment of...

something for Lydia Gilbert.

-Silence?

-Well...

Pregnant silence, yeah.

Alright, back to "Ringu."

Roll it.

It's interesting that you find
Japan so happy and carefree.

They have these stories
about ghosts that just say,

"You know what? You're gonna die

just because
you noticed my existence.

You are gonna suffer
because I suffered,

but you didn't even know
who I was.

Well, now you do!"

I mean, that's a mean ghost.

That's somebody who says,
"You are never safe.

Doesn't matter who wronged me.

I'm gonna wrong everybody!"

-The Japanese do not
go halfway with anything.

-Apparently not.

Neither do you.

-Oh, yeah. So...

Several times now
Mom has said,

"Oh, Yoichi is fine by himself.

He's used to it.
He knows what to do."

So, the result is that
now, he's cursed, as well.

This is one of the key points

of the original 1991 novel
by Koji Suzuki.

As I said before, Suzuki was
originally a stay-at-home dad

who wrote articles
about parenting.

So...

I'm gonna go ahead
and give some details

of the book version,

which everybody in Japan
would probably be familiar with

when they first saw this movie.

In the book version,

the death tape is the result of
a demonic hermaphrodite

named Sadako.

And she represents
everything corrupt, cruel,

and frightening
about modern society.

Her mother was raped

and gave birth to her,

only to discover that she
was some kind of mutant

with, you know, hermaphrodites,
that have sex organs

for both sexes.
-Yes.

-It's not trans,
it's both sexes.

Intersex, they call it in Japan.

But she had psychic gifts,

and the mother, um...

threw herself into a volcano.

But then, the doctor

that was treating
the hermaphrodite daughter

rapes her,

and infects her with smallpox.

And to cover up his crime,
he throws her down a well.

So, she's at the bottom
of the well,

and she's psychologically
projecting her fear

up out of that well, to record
her loneliness and her pain...

on a VHS tape.

Creating a curse so that
the memory of her suffering

will spread exponentially
throughout the world

and make her the most
famous woman in the world,

instead of the most
cursed woman in the world.

So, the technology of the VCR
is a curse

that works like a virus,
it has no purpose

other than to spread
to the whole world population.

And the original cause of it,

remember, Suzuki is
an expert on parenting.

The original cause of it
is abused and mistreated

latchkey children, you know,

ignored by the parents who
should be taking care of them.

And um, if you'll notice,

the movie does seem to be making

some kind of a statement
about child care

because every time Reiko

comes in contact with her son,

she's telling him, uh,

"you can take care of yourself,"
or you know, leaving him alone.

And there's the idea
baked into the narrative

that somehow,
all these kids are dying

because they're left alone
to their own devices.

-You know, they do leave
small children alone in Japan.

-They do?
-Yeah.

You'll see them traveling
the streets

and subways on their own,

like, to and from school
by themselves.

-Like they don't care, or...

-It's not that they don't care.

It's that the Japanese idea
is that every adult

has joint responsibility
for every child.

-They really believe that?
-Mm-hmm!

I think they do, anyway.
-"We're one village"?

-That's what I believe.
-You know...

I forget that you're
a Japahinophile

or whatever you call
a Japan lover.

Okay, I am that.

-Okay, so this movie
was directed by Hideo Nakata

and it was not
his first rodeo, um...

or it was not his first Basho.

-Very good.
-Basho is a sumo tournament.

-Yes.
-Right?

So, I also wanted to mention

the film that Hideo Nakata
made two years before this film.

He made a horror film
called "Don't Look Up"

when he was still trying
to raise money

for that Joseph Losey
documentary.

And "Don't Look Up" is like
a training film for "Ringu."

It's a ghost movie,
it's a little more

straightforward than "Ringu,"

written by Takahashi,

and it bombed at the box office.

But fortunately, the film
was seen by Koji Suzuki.

Is this too much background
that I'm doing on this?

-I mean, it's a little deep.

-Alright. Are you totally wasted
from the Brocken,

or can you still share
some of this Walpurgis liquor?

-You're gonna make me
drink more of that?

-Yeah!
-Let's do it. I'm ready to go!

-Alright! Alright, let's go.

-You're a mail girl.
You have to.

-I...do have to.

Lay it on me.

-Um, alright. Let's go, uh...

Let's go straight for the mead.

-You love the mead!
You think it's all mead.

Which is the mead?

-Just pick one.

-This is the mead, right?
-Mead.

-Alright,
we're gonna go for the mead,

and we're gonna get back
to the movie. Roll "Ringu."

Alcohol, social media
and subtitles.

-I have one.
-Alright, you do it all.

You're the ultimate
multi-tasker.

-Dude, we get so many
complaints about subtitles,

especially late at night
like this.

-Well, Japanese dialogue
through a beer haze, I get that.

Yeah, that's rough.

I would say...

I would say
that subtitles in general

are not that popular with people
who watch the live feed.

-Just saying.

-Well, that's because
they're trying to tweet,

and take pictures
of their dog, and...

-It's important.

-...Google weird names
from horror history,

and watch the show,
and get drunk, and have sex

all at the same time.
-Yeah!

-And so, the subtitles
is just like...

It's like you have this
giant fishbowl full of worms,

and you throw, and it's worms
right up to the top level,

and then you throw
one last worm on the top,

and all the worms
spill out of the fishbowl.

-I don't think
it's that at all, actually.

-It's not?
-It's not.

-Well, that's approximately it.
-It's not.

-You're drunk.

-This whole part
in the middle on the island

is confusing to me,

but I understand
that it's the backstory

necessary to understand
where Sadako came from

and what happened to her mother,
and then what happened to her.

What I don't understand
is why we're just now learning

that the ex-husband, Ryuji,
is psychic,

so he can see
into the past and future.

It seems like that
should have been made clear

at an earlier point
in the story.

Anyway, some of these
Walpurgisnacht libations...

have sort of
started to k-kick in...

- Ya think?
- And um, I was...

Yeah, I-I was, um...

Have you tried this one yet?

-Which one's that?

-This -- this one.

-Is it -- is it mead?

No, it's not mead, it's, um...

Prosecco.
-Oh.

I'll have two, please.

-Alright, that's my mail girl.
I'm a...

Anyway, I'm gonna
mention two things,

then we're going to go back
to the movie.

One is that the main character,
Reiko Asakawa,

is played by Nanako Matsushima,

who was just being
discovered as a star.

She had just broken out
in a television serial

called "Sunflower,"

and she was just 24 years old
when "Ringu" was made.

But um, that series
and this movie

would launch her
into Japanese super-stardom.

And then, the other thing
I wanted to mention

is that the witches of Salem

were not all house servants
and old crones.

Sometimes, they were wealthy.

And an example is Ann Pudeator,

who was a wealthy widow executed
when she was in her 70s

and charged with a whole
laundry list of crimes,

including presenting
the Devil's Book to a young girl

and getting her to sign it,

bewitching a neighbor's wife
and causing her death,

appearing in spectral form
to young girls,

having witchcraft materials
in her house,

she claimed it was just
grease for making soap,

but they called it
witchcraft materials.

Torturing with pins.

Causing a man
to fall out of a tree,

killing her husband
and his previous wife,

and turning herself into a bird
and flying into her house.

So, obviously,
a multi-talented woman.

Accused by five different people

and executed
on October 7th, 1692.

And uh...

unfortunately,
she was eventually

exonerated of all crimes

by the Massachusetts
General Court in 1957,

265 years after her death.

Why do they even
bother with that?

Exonerating her 265 years later.

-I think that relatives

ask the courts
to make those rulings.

-So they can get money?

-Well, to clear her name.
-They said she was wealthy.

So, you know, maybe
the state took all her money.

-Wow, you know, honestly --
-There'd be a lot of interest.

265 years of interest
on the money.

-I hadn't thought of that.
-That the state took illegally.

-That could be it.

-Anyway, we're getting into
the action part of the movie,

so let's get back to "Ringu."

Roll the film.

They said these
witch accusations

stopped once they
passed new rules,

and the rules were
you had to have two witnesses...

that wouldn't have helped her
because, you know,

five against her.

But I'm still thinking
about that guy

that was branded an ignoramus.

You know?

Could his family go
to the General Court today

and say, "Hey, we want you
to retract your ignoramus ruling

and agree
that he was an actual witch"?

'Cause, I mean,
if it works in one direction.

It can work in
the opposite direction, right?

-Are you having fun tonight?

-Mm-hmm.
-Mm-hmm.

-Try this one.

-What's that one?
-I don't know.

It's mead.

Okay.

Ooh, man.

-I love this part of the movie

'cause you got
the ticking clock...

and you got what looks like
an impossible task,

get the water out of the well,
find the body of Sadako,

and even while you're doing it,

you don't know
what you're accomplishing!

I mean, y-- no...

it might mean nothing,
even if you find her.

But um...

I wanted to mention
another Japanese legend

that was known
to all Japanese schoolchildren

because it relates to this.

It's the Okiku legend.

There was this maid.

She was working in
the mansion of a samurai lord.

And she was responsible for the
samurai's most precious plates.

He had these special plates...

like you buy on late-night TV.

And one night,
she breaks one of the plates.

And the samurai is so incensed
that he kills her.

And he tosses her into a well.

And after that, each night,
her ghost rises from the well

and counts to nine,

counting his precious plates,

and then lets out
this spooky wail

for the missing 10th plate.

And this is happening
over and over again every night,

and eventually drives
the samurai lord insane.

So, this movie has tropes

from quite a few different
Japanese stories

that have been passed down
for 400 years.

The volcano story,

the Yotsuya legend
of the black-haired ghost woman,

and the Dish Mansion
at Bancho Legend,

which is the one
I just described.

So, "Ringu" is not
so much an original story

as a mashup
of Japanese ghost legends

made relevant solely by the fact

that this ghost expresses
her rage through a VHS tape.

So, on this Walpurgisnacht

special edition
of "The Last Drive-In,"

when we're honoring
witches near and far,

let's get to the conclusion
of "Ringu,"

where it's finally revealed

how the most powerful witch
in Japan works her evil.

Roll it.

Do you like Sadako?

-I do!

-Pure rage.

-And that hair.

-Right. Rage and long dark hair.

You never see her face.
-Just her eye.

And that's enough,
man, it's spooky.

-True, just that eye.

♪ Ooh, feels like Heaven ♪

♪ Feels like Heaven ♪

♪ Ooh, feels like Heaven ♪

♪ Feels like Heaven ♪

-So, what is this thing?

Somebody sent this in?

Alright, well, anyway.

You know, the first time
I watched "Ringu,"

I didn't pick up
on that last scene.

But they're going to kill
Grandpa, right?!

I mean, she's gonna have
her son copy the tape

and give it to his grandpa.

And that's so cold and brutal.
I think that's what's happening.

Right, Darcy?
Is that what's happening?

-I'm pretty sure it is.

She doesn't have much time,

and they're driving
to her father's house.

-"Children are closer to
the Otherworld than adults are."

That's a quote
from Hideo Nakata.

And yes, they are,

when they have parents
who aren't paying attention.

It's a very dark movie

because the witch rage is not
directed at anybody specific.

It's directed at everybody!

And at the same time
that "Ringu" came out,

the sequelto "Ringu" came out.

And at some theaters, the two
movies were a double feature.

But "Spiral,"

which is the name
of the so-called sequel,

has virtually nothing
to do with the original.

It's a sci-fi
technological thriller,

and nobody liked it.

That's why
when "Ringu 2" came out,

everything in "Spiral"
was ignored.

Some say the most faithful
version of "The Ring" novel

is the South Korean version,

which came out in 1999
and is called "The Ring Virus."

So...

"Ringu" was a fairly
low-budget film,

just $1.2 million,

but it quickly became
the highest-grossing film

in the history of Japan,
making about $16 million.

The 2002, remake with
Naomi Watts did even better.

It earned $130 million
at the box office.

There have been four
"Ring" feature films.

Then there's one
made-for-TV special.

There's two TV series.

And here's my favorite, there's
one "Ringu" haunted maze.

-Oh, wow.
-If you go to Mount Fuji,

there's a maze at the base
of Mount Fuji

where Sadakos come out of wells
and attack the tourists!

And they give you
little beanbag balls

you can hurl at the Sadakos,

and you're encouraged
to scream curses at them.

And if you visit
the Himeji Castle,

which dates from the 1300s,

your tour guide will tell you
the Legend of Okiku

and take you to a well there
that's been preserved

where it is said that
the ghost of this tortured woman

rises every night
to cause havoc on Earth.

And you can also --

you can rent that cabin

where the first four victims
watched the videotape.

It's at a place called
America Camp Village,

which caters to families,

families that want to go
on camping vacations.

They do not put the movie
in any of their advertising.

And if that's not enough
"Ringu" tourism for you,

you can also visit
Mount Mihara on Oshima Island.

And this is the volcano
that erupted in 1950

and was predicted
by Sadako's mother

before her suicide.

So, Darcy,
the movies are done...

but the alcohol is not.

So, we can
either finish the drinks

or find a flight to Tokyo.
What do you think?

-Ooh! Do not tempt me.

-Tempt you with what?
Alcohol or Tokyo?

-Why not both?

-Alright! I like the way
you think.

Alright, but we gotta do mail
bag first before we can leave.

-Okay, but let's leave
right after, okay?

-Alright.

-Tonight's letter is gonna
make it so much worse

because it comes from...

Japan.

-What?
-Yep.

-We got an actual letter?

-From Japan!
-Oh, yeah.

The first of it is...

I can't read the part that's in,
that's in the...

You know, funny letters. Kanji.

- The kanji letters.
- Yes.

-Alright.
-"The funny letters."

-"Dear Joe Bob, Darcy,
and the crew.

Hello.

Now that I've confused you
with another language,

let me apologize
and introduce myself properly.

My name is Caleb Cressen

and I've been
living in Japan land

watching 'The Last Drive-In...'"

How do you even do that?

"...for the last
five and a half years.

However, by the time
you read this,

I will have moved
back to the US.

I started watching
'The Last Drive-In'

at the very start
with the 2018 marathon,

and was introduced to your work
through James Rolfe."

That's our buddy
in Pennsylvania.

"I remember playing
Monster Hunter in college

while having old episodes
of 'Monster Vision'

run in the background.

I would do it if I was...

grain...granding monsters
for rare items.

I always enjoyed your wit

and sardonic sense of..."
-I think "grading."

-Grading monsters? I don't know.

"I always enjoyed your wit
and sardonic sense of humor,

delivered in a very real way,
without the smugness

of a lot of other
pundits or comedians.

Especially
the 'Stepfather' episode

and the 'Beastmaster' episode,

two of my all-time favorites.

I still have your
Friday the 13th marathon

on my personal playlist
of Halloween specials,

which I watch each year.

All this is to say,
your show is very dear to me.

The rant you went
on during the 2018 marathon

about people who carelessly
absorbed media and art

through their phones
really struck a chord with me

as someone who cares
a great deal about art

and the feelings of the artist
or artists who created it.

I write this
on my last day in Japan

to share my experiences with
'The Last Drive-In' while here.

Because of the time difference,

I watch 'The Last Drive-In'
on Saturday mornings,

and so it's a ritual
for me to wake up, shower,

go to the Lawson,

a Japanese convenience store
chain, to buy breakfast,

then watch you and Darcy
until noon.

When you ran
'One Cut of the Dead,'

I was so happy
because I live in Sapporo,

not far from where
some of the movie was shot.

Also, fun fact,
I've seen the woman

who played the TV producer
in commercials here.

I also live very close
to the old Sapporo factory

where the famous Sapporo whiskey

was originally
brewed and distributed.

The factory is
a cultural landmark,

but you can still walk around
the surround promenade

and view its untouched interior.

I came to Japan in 2018
and it's been like a dream.

Even now, as I write this in my
empty, cleaned-out apartment,

I cannot describe the beauty
of this place

as light pours in
from the sunrise

on the first edge of the world.

I hope one day you, Darcy,
and the mutant fam

all have the chance
to explore this

and every other corner
of this vast world.

Being able to experience
this dream

with you and the rest
of the incredibly talented

crew of 'The Last Drive-In'

has been
an unparalleled pleasure."

This is a long letter.

"While I'm still quite..."
-It's from Japan!

-Well, this is not
even the Japan part.

"While I'm still
quite inexperienced,

I hope it's not too much to ask
that you pass on this.

I want to pass on this one thing
I've learned on my journey."

-He just read that part.

-Here's the one thing
he wants to pass on.

-Okay.
-"Dreams save us. All of us.

No matter what your dream is,
hang on to it

because the world is so much
bigger than one could imagine

and anything is possible.

Little by little,
inch by inch, day by day,

work to make your dreams
a reality

because you can do it.

With that, I close
this monstrously sized letter."

"I look forward to continuing
to see you back in the States.

Take care.
The drive-in will never die.

Caleb Cressen,
Sapporo, Minamiho, Japan.

P.S. Tell Shudder
to come to Japan..."

-Yes!

-"...so we can watch
without a VPN."

What's a VPN?

-I'll tell you later.
-Alright.

-"P.S.S.

I would like to recommend
Kentaro Miura,

creator of the Japanese
comic series 'Berserk,'

a candidate
for the Silver Bolo."

Well, we never give
the Silver Bolo anymore.

"His work was profound
and touched pop culture

in so many ways."

So, Darcy, I think
you're right about Japan.

This guy goes over there
for six years,

he's sad to leave,

and what does he
do on his last day?

He wants to tell us

to trust our dreams.

-See?
-Good things happen in Japan.

Except in the movies.

In the movies...

In the Japanese movies,

sadistic, vengeful witch demons
living at the bottom of wells

imprint their rage on VHS tapes

so they can kill
as many people as possible.

So...

You know what they call that?
-What?

-Yin and yang.

They have both.

And um...

That's it for Walpurgisnacht.

I will see you this weekend
at Crypticon in Seattle.

I will see you next weekend
at FrankenCon in Knoxville.

I will see you
on May 31st at the, uh,

indoor drive-in geek out

at the Blob Theater
in Phoenixville.

What's the name of that theater?
The Colonial Theater?

-Yes.

-Where they filmed "The Blob"
in Phoenixville, Pennsylvania,

suburban Philadelphia.

And that's it for us,

Joe Bob Briggs
and Darcy the Mail Girl,

reminding you
that if you give a man a match,

he'll be warm for a few hours,

but set him on fire and he'll be
warm for the rest of his life.

And the drive-in will never die!

-That's good advice.

-You know, Darcy, I've been
reading about carbon footprints.

I don't have a carbon footprint.

I just drive everywhere.

A man walks
into an enchanted forest

and tries to cut down
a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down,"
says the tree,

"I'm a talking tree."

And the man says,
"You may be a talking tree,

but you will die a log."

No, I like it.

"Dialogue"!

-What's red
and bad for your teeth?

-Twizzlers.

-A brick.

That's true.

-Where did Jim go after
getting lost in a minefield?

Everywhere.

-Ohh...

-Okay.

It's late and I'm drunk.
I'm sorry.

-♪ We are drive-in mutants

-♪ Drive-in mutants ♪

-♪ We are not like
other people ♪

♪ We are sick ♪

♪ We are disgusting ♪

-♪ We believe in,
yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ If life had a vomit meter ♪

♪ We'd be off the scale ♪

♪ As long as one drive-in
remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party
like jungle animals ♪

♪ We will boogie 'til we puke ♪

♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We will boogie 'til we puke ♪

♪ The drive-in will never die ♪

♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ We believe in ♪

-♪ Blood ♪

♪ And breasts ♪

♪ And beasts ♪

-♪ Yeah, we believe in ♪

-Made in Georgia.