All language subtitles for Catch Me a Spy (1971)

Come along.

No, no, no, no.

Give it.

Ready?

Over here. Come on, pass.

Give it to me.

Come on.

Let's go!
- Give it to me.

Off!

Off!
- Miss, it's not fair. He hit me first.

Goal!

Yay!
Score, score.

- No, no, no, no, no, kick off.

Kick off.

Here.

She's really very pretty. Lucky fellow.
- Thank you.

What does she teach?
- French.

French and football.

- Ah, of course, she is French.
- Yeah.

And the uncle's English?

Yeah, she's lived with
him since her parents died.

Get on with him?
- Yes.

Don't know how he got to be a minister,
but I like him.

Ah, the happy couple.

You look very good together.
Can't have been unpleasant.

Ah, it's been fine.
Where's it all leading?

Where does three month's
courtship usually lead, hmm?

Congratulations.

He wants to marry me.

Blast, Fabienne,
how could you?

Over 8,000 and a
free bowl to come.

Who wants to marry you?

- John does.

John Fenton.

- Fenton?

Marriage?

I'm not sure I like the fellow.

- Of course you do.

- He's too,

what's the word?

Smooth, I suppose.

Like a television commercial.

I see him riding out of the sea,

not a hair out of place,

smoking a menthol cigarette.

That's because he
always beats you at this.

- Yeah.

Who's affairs?

England versus France.

The crowd intense
with excitement.

Do you love him?

- I don't know.

It's so sudden.

He attracts me, makes
me laugh with joke,

and he's very good in bed.

- Yeah, yes, yes.

England one, France nil.

In bed?

Whose bed?

When?
- My bed tonight.

- But I was having dinner.

I had guest for dinner,
the Argentine ambassador.

And you were making
love just a floor away?

- Pay attention, Uncle.

- Oh.
- France equalized.

Oh, right against
the run of play.

Here we go now.

Down the wing, shoot!

Goal!

England two, France one.

Fabienne, you have no defense.

- Oh, I know.

It has always been my trouble.

- Good luck, Miss.

- Miss me.

Where are they going
for their honeymoon,

or is it a secret?

- No secret, Romania.

He's got business
there or something.

- Oh, how original.

- Gaining a nephew?

- Yes.

d La la la la la

d La la la la la la la

d La la la la la
la la la la la d

- Keep the change.

- It looks funny,

like Paris a long time ago.

Well, the food taste
of it came from Paris

a long time ago.

Fenton, Mr. And Mrs.

- For how long, sir?

- Forever, I hope.

- No, Madame, I mean,

for how long-
- Just two or three days.

Ah, Mr. Fenton,
welcome back again.

- Hello.

- Nice to see you.

Madame,.

- What does that mean?

That means

nothing but the best.

Mmm, that's nice.

Very sexy.

I was coming to
turn down the beds.

Perfect timing.

Waiter?

- Coming, sir.

- Waiter?

- Coming, sir!

Yes, sir?

- We'd like something to drink.

What can I offer
you, champagne?

- French?

- Bulgarian.

- There's nothing sacred.

I think we'll just
have two of your

genuine Rumanian Irish coffees.

- But perhaps not for one hour,

or two?

- 118 want two coffees,

but there's no hurry.

I'm sorry.

It's an odd place
for a honeymoon.

As soon as I've cleared
up this business,

we'll go to Crete or somewhere,

get some sun.

- It's a perfect place.

- John Fenton?

- What the hell do you want?

- You are under arrest.

- I want to see the ambassador!

- Good god almighty,

you'll wake the whole
damned household.

- I demand to see him!

It's my right!

- Two o'clock in the morning?

- Where is he?

- You're not even English.

You've got a foreign accent.

- I'm French and also English.

I demand my rights as a
French-British subject!

You people really have
the most frightful cheek.

I suppose you've lost your
money, or your passport,

or you've been raped by
some Gypsy violinist?

- My husband has been arrested

by the Secret Police from hotel.

We're on our honeymoon,

and they just barged in
- Oh, look.

- In the middle-
- I do apologize.

I didn't mean to shout
at you like that.

I was a bit upset myself,

all that noise at the door.

I thought we were
being stormed again.

Please, let me
see the ambassador?

We're leaving
no stone unturned.

I'm going to the Ministry
of Foreign Affairs at once.

And in London, the Foreign
Secretary is sending a note.

- Sending a note?

Should be sending the Army.

- Your husband has been arrested

on charges of espionage
against the Soviet Union.

- My husband?

That's ridiculous.

They claim to
have found evidence.

- When can I see him?

He's already been
taken to Moscow.

I'm sorry.

We must get her back to London.

There's a plane at noon.

Well, I think I've got

You check in to
London over there.

But actually, we've got

half an hour before we-
- You've been very kind.

Please, don't wait.

I can manage perfectly well.

- Oh, all right.

If you're sure?
- Yes.

- Well, look-
- Goodbye.

- You know, good luck.
- Thank you.

- And-
- Thank you.

- Yes, Miss.

When's the next
plane to Moscow?

Oh, there is not one
now until this evening.

- This evening?

How far is it?

Can I rent a car?

- You cannot drive to Moscow.

- The train then!

When's the next train?

- There is one at three o'clock,

but it's still quicker
to wait for the plane.

- I'll wait.

- Good morning, Mrs. Fenton.

We met in the hotel.

- Oh, yes.

You're the waiter.

Hello.

It's a long wait
for the Moscow plane.

Sorry to hear about what
happened to your husband.

- You speak English very well.

- Thank you.

- Could I buy you a drink?

- Oh, no, thank you.
- Please?

Got a lot of time.

Come on.

What does your husband do?

- Business.

Imports and exports.

- With the Eastern block?

- Mostly.

- Drink.

Here.

Romanian style, it
brings you luck.

Like this.

That's good.

Is he innocent?

- Well, of course he is.

Sometimes it
makes no difference,

if it suits their purpose.

Let me tell you a story.

A few years ago, they
found a mummy in Egypt.

None of the world's scientists
could agree how old is he,

so the Russians said,

"We'll take it back to Moscow",

and submit it to a secret test."

They came back in two
days with a full report.

The mummy was a man.

He died of pneumonia
at the age of 38,

and he was a prune
and raisin merchant.

Everyone was astonished.

"How'd you find
out?", they asked.

"Easy", said the Russians.

"The mommy made a
full confession."

- Psst.

Psst.

This man, he's kidnapping me.

I have been drugged
and kidnapped.

- Take no notice.

- Where are you taking me?

- Miss?

To the Secret
Police, I suppose.

- Please, no speak English.

- Where are we going?

Are we going to Moscow?

Moscow?

I hope not.

We're due back in
Manchester at four o'clock.

- Are you feeling better, Miss?

We're just starting
our approach to London.

Now, would you fasten
your seatbelts, please?

- No sign at the moment.

Mrs. John Fenton, wife of
the British businessman

detained by the Russian's
on charges of espionage,

arrived back at Heathrow
late this afternoon.

Mrs. Fenton was met

by her uncle, Sir Trevor Dawson,

the Shadow Foreign Secretary.

There is feeling amongst
diplomatic sources,

the charges against Mr.
Fenton will be serious.

- Is Haldane here?

- In the library, sir.

- Help Bowlan with the luggage,

and get rid of those
bloody press people.

- Very good, sir.

And bring the
whiskey with you.

- Very good, sir.

I'm sorry, but I'm afraid
you'll all have to-

- Haldane, good of you to come.

My dear, this is
Commander Haldane,

who's going to be
- Thank you.

- A great help to us.

He is in a position to...

Haven't you got a drink?

- Scotch.

Oh, Beech did leave
you a drop, did he?

The Commander knows
things, my dear.

- I should hope so.

He's head of British
intelligence.

- Who told you that?

You're not supposed
to know that.

Did you tell her that?

- I didn't know she knew.

- Uncle, everybody knows.

It's supposed to be a
closely guarded secret.

How's Commander
Haldane going to

get my husband back?
- You'll see.

You'll see.

- Only a handful of people know,

the Prime Minister, my wife.

Mandy?

No, she wouldn't.

Hmm?

How are you going to
get my husband back?

Ah, well, nothing
to worry about there.

John's arrest is a
typical Soviet tactic.

Some months ago,

we arrested an extremely
important agent of theirs.

His name is Webb,
amongst others.

Obviously, the Russian's
want him back very badly.

They've offered to
exchange him for John.

You mean all the charges
against John were made up?

Quite monstrous,
but effective.

If we don't accept,

John's likely to end
up with 15 years.

You see, the Russian's
are relying on the fact

that because John
is married to you,

I'd use my position to
accelerate an exchange,

which I must say,

I regard as an insult to
my professional integrity.

- Certainly.

- But you will pull ropes.

You must do.

- Strings, strings.

Oh, Uncle, pull
whatever you like,

but I want John back.

- Don't worry.

It's all arranged
for next Thursday.

- Well, he's here, sir.

- Can I see?

Why, yes.

- Where's the wretched Russian?

- Oh, what a bloody dark.

I could've been in
Berlin now with Hilda.

- Brr!

Careful with that.

My wok whisk is in there.

Where's my number six?

My number six?

Ah.

And watch my LPs, huh?

I don't want them scratched.

Oh.

Now, where's "The
Sound of Music?"

That was for my mother.

I am not leaving the West
without "The Sound of Music."

- Please hurry.

I've been waiting for hours.

- You're the wife?

- Yes.
- Ah.

Delighted.

- You're Webb, one presumes?

- Certainly not!

Who told you that?

Oh, yes, yes, of course I am.

Excuse me, force of habit.

I'm glad that it is me

that brings you and
your husband together.

- If it wasn't for you,

we wouldn't have been apart.

- Not me, my dear lady.

Politics.

- May we get on?

My feet are freezing.

- Yes, yes, yes, yes.

Now, have I got everything?

Ah, thank you, thank you.

Just a few souvenirs
of Western decadence.

Here, split this
between the two of you.

Let's get this
unbearable man outta here,

back where he belongs.

Yes, but it's just that
I seem to have mislaid

the movement orders.

Ha!

Are you sure you won't
miss the decadent West?

- Good Lord, no.

At home, I shall be a big star.

They'll give me a pension.

Thank you.

A flat near Red Square,
girls, beef vodka,

and a season ticket
to the Bolshoi.

Farewell, filthy
imperialist swine.

- It will soon be all over.

- Oh.

Unfortunate, of course,
from your point of view,

but a fitting end,
wouldn't you think?

Red's the ball,
in off the side.

- How's she taking it?

- Oh, quite calmly.

quite calmly.

- Did I disturb your game?

No, just relaxing,
my dear.

Pressures of the day.

- Would any of those pressures

have anything to
do with my husband?

We're leaving
no stone unturned.

- No stone unturned!

We're sending notes
and writing memos!

Ta-ta-dah-dah-dah-dah.

You've lost a spy,

so use another!

I'd like nothing better,
but we haven't got one,

at least no one that important.

- You haven't got one?

Such a disgrace.

What do you do all day?

- It's been very quiet recently.

All right, if you two
aren't prepared to help,

I'll find someone myself.

Fabienne, there's
no possible way

for you to-
- Why not?

I live in the house of
the Governor Minister.

You go to parties.

You give receptions.

I have to do something.

While you stand here
playing billiards,

poor John is

famishing to death.
- Starving.

- To death!

He's in federal prison!

Got a lot of
spirit, that girl.

Certainly buggered
up our game.

Now, there was a certain
irony about his death

caused by his own greed.

He'd been corrupted
by your society.

I could be in London
now at a nice restaurant,

and my loving bride eager
to make up for lost time.

- Don't think I'm not upset.

Of course, I am.

I'm as upset as you are.

He was bringing me six bottles
of malt whiskey, plain Grand.

Well, haven't they
got anybody else

they could swap for me?

Pustyaki, small
fry, dispensables.

- What do they do all day?

- They are very incompetent.

They only caught Webb
because he got careless.

He was supposed to be a
welder at the missile factory.

- Well, what went wrong?

He was living in a
suite at the Hilton.

- So Stefan, when do I get home?

I mean, how long are
you going to keep here?

- Don't complain.

For a man with a 15 year sentence,
you're very comfortable.

We don't even torture you.

Have you seen
Russian television?

John, John, you came into
this with your eyes wide open,

focused firmly on the 50,000
pounds we're paying you.

We've had a setback.

It's an occupational hazard.

Yes, but this
isn't my occupation.

I'm not a, well, spy.

I'm a-
- A corrupt businessman.

- Yes.

- What's your hurry?

We look after you.

Cigars, vodka, girls.

- Girls?

Two civil engineers
and a discus thrower.

- Bronze medalist.

- I'm not happy, Fabienne.

The third-rate champagne
I shall have to drink,

the people I'm
gonna have to meet.

Oh, how good of you to come.

Very nice of you to come.

I can't see how a reception

for the Hungarian State
Myman Dance Company

is going to attract
sinister figures

from the world of espionage.

- Uncle, cultural attaches,

ministers of tourism.
- Nice of you to come.

- It's a well know fact,
- Nice of you to come.

- They're all spies.

- Fabienne, really.

- And watch out for homosexuals.

- I beg your pardon?

- It's also a well know fact

that most people involved in
espionage are homosexuals.

- Yes, well, I'm not surprised.

There're everywhere.

In my grandfather's day,

they used to horse
feed homosexuals,

then, they accepted them.

Now, they're fashionable.

And before long,
they'll be compulsory.

- Champagne, sherry, or spirits?

- No.

Fabienne, I think
if we just circulate.

- Victoria?

I need you.

- Excuse us, Mummy.

- I'll take care of her.

- Trevor.

- Celia, how wonderful.

- What a wonderful party.

- Isn't it very ghastly?

But you may have
saved my evening.

Where's your George?

- Getting sloshed somewhere.

- Ah.

Beech, we're going to slip away.

I'm gonna show you
the greenhouse.

- At this time of night?

- What better time?

Tomatoes by moonlight.
- Champagne, sir?

No, I don't care much
for this caterer's stuff.

Have you got anything in
your stolen reserve, Beech?

- Veuve Clicquot, '64?

- Splendid.

I need a Russian, or
a Czech, or Romanian,

Bulgarian, East
German, or Hungarian.

- No Chinese?

No, I wouldn't take a Chinese.

If you see someone
who looks suspicious.

The only person
that looks suspicious

is your uncle with my mother.

- Ah, keep your eyes open.

- I am, for Daddy.
- Mmm, please, Victoria.

- Oh, really, Fabienne.

The sort of person
you're looking for

is hardly likely to turn up

at your uncle's party.

- You're not helping.

Beech?

Who's that man?

- An Albanian, Miss.

- How can you tell?

One can always
tell an Albanian.

It must be their
bandit upbringing.

It's the way they enter a room,

taking advantage of
the natural cover.

- It's a lie!

I never touched her!

Even if I did, I plead
diplomatic immunity.

- Please, I must know,

where is the bathroom?

- Oh, straight ahead.

- She's a liar!

I never touched her!

- Who's in here?

Open the door.

What are you doing locked
in my friend's bedroom?

Sshh, I was waiting
for your friend.

My friend's downstairs
looking for Eastern Europeans.

Are you one?

- Hungarian, if it helps?

- Yes, that'll do.

Do you work at the
Embassy or something?

- I'm the Naval attache.

- You've got one too.

Oh.

- Victoria?

Victoria, you're not helping.

- If you'll excuse me.

- Where are you going?

- Duty calls.

Thank you, Mrs. Fenton,
for a lovely party.

- You?

Stop!

Wait a minute!

I want to talk to you.

Wait!

You're a fool, Victoria!

I wanted that man.

- I rather did myself.

- Oh, sorry!

Uncle, Uncle!

Did you see him?

- What?

Some idiot threw this
through the greenhouse roof,

and Celia's hurt her knee.

All right, but I really
don't see what you can do.

I know you will say,
I'm imaging things,

but we are being followed.

Men like that are
always following girls.

- He's been with us all morning.

- Fabienne.

- I'll prove it.

You go this way, and
I'll go that way,

and we'll see who he follows.

All right, but I'm having
a lunch at San Lorenzo.

Shall I see you there?

If I'm not there
in half an hour,

you'll know what to do.

- Yes, order your cantelloni.

- Anybody's seat?

- Help yourself.

Haven't we met somewhere before?

You were following
me in the park.

- Oh, god.

I probably look
different without glasses.

- I told them.

I warned them.

I said, "Don't put
me on outside jobs."

"Don't put me on following
and things like that."

"I'll only make a mess of it."

See, I'm a
behind-the-scenes man.

I deal in broad concepts.

But I'm not cut out
for this outdoor,

man in a trench coat stuff.

I catch colds, and
bicycles knock me over.

- And people spot you.

- Apparently.

- Mmm-hmm.

Do you always wear that hat?

- It was part of my disguise.

- It looks ridiculous.

Who asked you to follow me?

- I can't tell you that.

It's more than my life's worth.

These lips are sealed.

It was that
Hungarian, wasn't it?

- Not necessarily.

Are you going to
follow me all day?

- I'm supposed to.

I was just writing my report.

- But you lost me?

- Well, I'm making it up.

- Ah.

Did I have a nice time?

- Not bad.

I'd never buy shoes
there,

and you missed out lunch.

May I?

I'm going to San Lorenzo, okay?

See you later.

- Thank you.

- Hey, wait.

- From Senora Fenton.

I had a word with the
Home Secretary today?

- Oh, yeah?

- About another matter.

- Oh, did you?

Hmm, any joy?

- Seemed quite optimistic.

Two seats, center
court, women's doubles.

- Quite optimistic.
- Good.

- You couldn't get a big spy.

What about few little ones?

- Oh, really, Fabienne?

You might just as well

put an advertisement
in the "Times".

"Wanted: suspicious-looking
Eastern European homosexuals."

No, come on.

We'll get John back
through normal channels.

- I can't wait that long.

I hope she's not gonna
do anything foolish.

Don't worry, I
put someone on her.

- Really?

You mean some sorta shadow?

- Yes.

Been with her two days
now, just in case.

- Invite him in, ma'am?

Into the house?

Across the threshold,
as it were?

Yes, but give me
a moment to change.

Oh, where was the brandy?

In your room, I suppose?

Only because I've been
dusting the decanter, ma'am.

- Oh, of course.

Mrs. Fenton will
receive you upstairs, sir.

Third floor.

Should I take your pummel, sir?

I brought it with me because
I didn't want it stolen.

It will be quite
safe with us, sir.

I assure you.

- Come in.

Close the door.

You must be freezing out there.

Have some brandy.

- Oh, thank you.

Very nice of you.

I'm not due off 'til eight.

I was going straight
home to have a hot bath.

- If you like, tomorrow night,

you can follow me
to the pictures.

- Oh, can we go to the Classic?

It's "The Mummy's Curse" and
"Attack of the Crab People."

If you tell me
who you work for.

- Can't, out of the question.

- What is your name?

- Baxter.

Baxter Clarke.

- You're obviously English.

- Don't jump to conclusions,

not in this game.

It could just be
part of the cover,

a cunning device.

I'm nothing like I appear to be.

Baxter, come and
sit down beside me.

You must be tired.
- Weary.

Weary and cynical.

Sometimes I can hardly
live with myself.

Can I come and live with you?

- If you tell me things.

- Hey, you're not trying to

wheedle things out
of me, are you?

- I don't know.

I don't know what I want.

But when you sit near me,

I feel so alive inside.

Yes.

I have this effect on women.

There was this friend
of my mother's.

Every time-
- Why don't you kiss me?

- I think I will.

This isn't just work, you know?

I mean, I do want you.

- So do I,

from the first time I saw you,

even wearing your hat.

- I feel quite excited.

- Why don't you take a shower?

You're so tense.

It'll help you relax.

As long as it doesn't
damper my ardor.

Right, I shall
return wet and sexy,

and then wheedle away.

Mrs. Fenton!

Where are you?

Mrs. Fenton?

- Allow me, please.

Goodnight.

- I've got one.

- Huh?

- No thanks to you.

Come and see.

- I had a double six.

- Clarke!

- Sir, I can explain.

No, I can't.

So really this all
came out for the best,

because I'm back in
filing where I belong.

I enclosed a photo of
myself as a memento.

It was taken on a cycling
holiday when I cut my knee,

hence the bandage.

I wish you the best of luck.

Please ring me if ever
you need anything decoded.

Sincere wishes, Yours
faithfully, Baxter Clarke.

P.S., I love you.

- Tackle him!

- Kick it now!

- Goal kick.

- Goal kick.

No, no, no, no.

Kick off.

- Get on with it.

- It was a goal kick, Mister.

- Don't argue with the referee.

Goal kick!

- Who are you?

It's time we
had a little talk.

- I'm listening.

- Come on.

- Here we go again.

Why did you drug
me at the airport?

And you had something to do
with my husband's arrest.

- That was just my bad luck.

- You're bad luck?

- How did I know he was

gonna get arrested?
- Oh, I'm sorry

he made things so
difficult for you.

- I don't want apologies.

I just want what I
put in your suitcase.

- My suitcase?
- And it's not there now!

- Gone?

- Gone where?

Do I make an offer?

I'm not sure I know
what you're talking about.

I guess it better be
a pretty large offer?

I must think about
this very carefully.

Where do I get in
touch with you?

- You don't.

I get in touch with you.

Tomorrow.

- You two,

do you think you
could follow that man

without being seen?

- Who is he?

- I don't know,

but he may be just the
man I'm looking for.

- Here!

- Sorry, thanks.

- 1644, please.

Thank you.

- We want to see Mrs. Fenton.

- About what?

We have information of
a confidential nature.

- I'll give you confidential!

Get off those steps!

Get out, out, out!

- Beech?
- Get!

Madam?

- It's all right.

Let them in.

- Into the house, Madame?

- Yes, let them in.

- Hey, wipe your bleedin' feet!

- 1644, please.

Thank you.

- I'm always forgettin my key,

and it's such a long way down.

Thank you.
- That's all right, Madame.

- I thought I heard you go out.

Oh, there's
something in my room I want.

- Time for a drink?

- Oh, no, not tonight, Madame.

- Madame?

That's rather formal
after last night.

- On the other hand,

perhaps we will have that drink.

Where's your husband?

Out of sight, out
of mind.

- It's good news week.

He's not out for a
week, just an hour.

- Oh.

You know, I was expecting
another French girl tonight.

She also has a
husband out of sight.

Oh, I hope she
doesn't disturb us.

- She better not.

- What's she like?

- Freckles everywhere.

She hasn't got legs
as good as yours.

Simone?

- Oh, la la!
- Simone?

Quick, in there.

No there, darling.

Here.

- My wife's in here,

isn't she?
- Certainly not.

- There's no good denying it.

What Kind of a man
do you think I am?

- That's her perfume, isn't it?

- Now, that's ridiculous.

- I'm not new to this, you know?

I've sniffed her out of
many a hotel bedroom.

Simone?

Ah, I'm terribly sorry.

- You should be.

- I thought you were my wife.

And I thought you
were my husband,

that's why I'm in the wardrobe.

I think I have to go, darling.

- I'll go with you, darling.

- No, no, no.
- I don't know

how to apologize.

You know how
jealous my husband is.

- It's my wife, you see.
- He's got a young blood

on his mother's side.

- It happens all the time.

I hope I haven't
ruined your evening.

- Don't follow me!

This is goodbye forever!

- Forever?

Never.

- She even had an affair

with our marriage
guidance counselor.

- Go away!

Leave me alone!

- Ah, you can't mean that?

- Tell him not to come.

My husband may be in the lobby.

Her husband may
be in the lobby.

A man has to do
what a man has to do.

- I hope I haven't...

Mother was right,

I should never have
married a convent girl.

What were you
doing in my wardrobe?

What were you doing
in my wardrobe?

- Hiding.

There was a woman.

- I mean, she had an invitation.

- You knew I was there.

- Of course.

- You knew I was there,

but you were still going to
make love with that woman.

- Look, I didn't complain

when you were seducing
that boy on a bicycle

while I was hiding
in the shower.

Kon Tiki Lounge.

Your floor, sir,

Kon Tiki Lounge.
- What?

No, no, no, no, no.

Drive on.

- Do I sense a lack of trust?

- Why should I trust a spy?

First, you're a waiter,

then, you're a diplomat,

you drug me in Bucharest,

broke into my uncle's house,

and have affairs with
other men's wives.

And no one's complained
about my legs before.

Ground floor.

- She said he was a spy.

A lot of them about
this time a year.

Just a minute.

Our affair's making progress.

We're in complete harmony.

Neither of us trust
the other an inch.

We don't like each
other very much.

Sure, I knew you
were in the wardrobe,

but let me tell you the
point of that exercise.

Whenever you think, he
wouldn't do that, he would.

You know what I want.

- Yes.

- Do we have a deal?

- Yes, yes, definitely.

I've got what you want.

- The price?

- 1,000 pounds.

- When do I collect?

- I'll call you tomorrow.

I need time to arrange things.

Call me at seven
at this number,

and remember, I would.

d La la la la la la la la la

d La la la la la la la la

I see you're up
to three a day.

- Huh?

Right.

Well, what news from
the outside world?

- News from England.

It seems the conscience
of the nation,

so stirred by your arrest,

has turned its attention
to the garbage strike.

- Yeah.

But your little wife
has been very active.

- Well, how do you know?

- We have someone watching her.

- What for?

Because she intends
to catch a spy herself

to exchange for her loved one.

- Do they care?

- Perhaps not.

Do you know this man?

- Hmm?

No, can't say I do.

Hey, that's taken in the park.

That's where I met her.

What's he up to with my wife?

- I don't know.

We can't follow her everywhere.

- Who is he?

A man we would be most
willing to exchange for you,

an enemy of Russia.

But the British
aren't gonna change me

for an enemy of Russia.

I'm not missed that much.

They might, if they think
he's an enemy of Britain.

Just the question of making
things seem what they're not.

- You're the experts.

So your wife may
solve all our problems

with a little help
from her friends.

- I found a spy, Baxter.

- Would you like some banana?

- I found a spy, a real one.

No, thanks.

Well, I'm very
pleased for you.

Have you wheedled
anything out of him yet?

- I don't need to.

I am going to frame him.

- That's a bit dirty, isn't it?

- It's a dirty game, Baxter,

as you should know.
- True.

None of us are clean
in this business.

How are you going
to frame him then?

He thinks I have
something he wants.

I'll use it as bait to
get him out of London,

and while he's away,

evidence can be
planted in his room.

- What sort of evidence?

Oh, government papers, secret
files, anything you can get.

You're the perfect person.

You have access to
all sorts of things.

All you have to do, is
steal something secret,

and plant it in this man's room.

- Is that all?
- Yes!

Oh, I thought you wanted
something difficult.

- No.

- All you want

is for me to steal
something top secret

from government files,

for which I could get 25 years,

but with remission
for good conduct,

I should be out by my early 40s.

He's the one who
will go to prison.

You can be the one
to give the tip-off.

You'll get all the
credit for catching him.

You will be a hero.

Baxter, do you want to be a
foreign clerk all your life?

Just a number, and a grade
at the ministry of whatever?

- Yes.

- You said you loved me.

- Well, I do, in principle.

- Who else can I turn to?

You sent me a letter offering
help if ever I should need it.

- Yes.

- And now, when I need it,

who's turning me down?

Rejecting me?

- Ah, bloody hell.

- Hello?

- It's me.

- Are we in business?

- Yes.

Listen to me very carefully.

I have what you want.

I'm in Paris.

- Paris?

Yes, there is a plane
to Orly at eight o'clock.

I will be waiting for you.

- Why Paris?

We're in no position
to ask questions.

Hello?

- How's the weather in Paris?

This is a recorded
announcement.

Mrs. Fenton is not
in at the moment.

Please leave your
name and your number,

and she'll ring you
when I get back.

I mean, when she gets back.

Who's there?

- I came as soon as I could.

- Beech!

- How's your 88?
- Beech?

Beech?

Wake up, wake up!

I am being attacked.

Beech!

- Mr. Trevor's is

not at home.
- Over here for the beer.

Anything you see is
in the drawing room.

Ha!

Young lady, it seems
to take a long time

for anything to sink in
your pretty French head.

There are a few things you're
going to tell me first.

Have you got my package?

Have you?

- No, no, not here.

- Well, who has?

What was all this Paris crap?

What was that a setup for?

- I was scared of you,

of dealing with you alone,

and had to get someone
to help me in Paris.

It's going to be
a long, hard night.

So much I wanna know.

So much you're gonna tell me.

- What about the girl?

- Can't leave her here to talk,

take her with you.

- Hey!

Don't draw the
curtains, Beech.

Hey, it's time for
Madame to get up.

- What?

Oh, my head.

I feel terrible.

I feel sick.

- Chloroform.

- Where are we going?

- I don't know,

but I don't intend
to arrive there.

Come on!

- I can't!

We'll kill ourselves!

Are they dangerous?

Well, at least
they don't have guns.

Just hit me, cow.

Hey!

- All together.

Thanks for giving me a hand.

Get rid of these.

- I'm worn out.

I won't!

I can't go any further!

- Oh, shut up, and keep walking.

- Where are we?

Where are we?

- Scotland, at the Loch Awe.

- How do you know?

- I highly recommended it.

- I'm cold.

- We'll start a fire.

Do you know who
those men were?

You have been trying to
set me up for something,

and I'm gonna find out what.

I've never seen
them before, honestly.

- Let's get this straight,

all I want is what I
put in that suitcase.

I don't know anything
about the suitcase,

or what was in it.

I was making it up.

I was making it all up.

- Why?

No hurry, we'll hole
up for the winter.

You'll tell me.

- I'm no use to you.

- And we've got till May 4th.

Let's get some heat in here.

You can't keep
me here like this.

They'll find me.

My uncle is a very
important man.

There'll be an outcry.

It'll be on the newspapers
with my picture,

"Politician's niece abduced."

- Abducted.

All the police will
be looking for me,

and the Air Force,

and the Army with helicopters.

Oh, well.

- Trout.

Now, I like mine
grilled on the bone,

with a little parsley and lemon.

That one was yours.

They keep a real
fine cellar here.

This is from Levallois.

That's a good French wine.

Oughta remind you of home, hmm?

Do you want some?

- No, thank you.

- You know, I like France.

I've traveled all around it.

Normandy, Brittany,
crossed the Camard.

- Following someone, I suppose?

I had a girl with me.

- How wonderful for her.

- Yes, I think it was.

- I'm sure you're a great lover,

especially with

- I'm very particular.

They have to be awake.

With you, I would find
it hard to be awake.

You've had a lot
of experience, huh?

- Enough.

- Say, tell me,

you know when your husband was
arrested on your honeymoon,

was it before?

After?

During?

- Our marriage was consumed.

Ah, thank God it
wasn't consummated.

- You have a dirty mind.

Well, that's better than
having a clean record.

- I have not got a clean record!

I have had many lovers.

- How many?

- 87.

- Name the last two.

I can't remember
names.

Anyway, it was hours ago.

- You better clean up now,

and get your mind off sex.

- You're such a child.

- I am not a child!

I'm a woman with a will
of my own, a strong will.

I am very determined.

I am getting up now,

and I'm leaving,

and nothing is going to
stop me, especially you!

- What's the matter?

- It's raining.

I'm not sleeping
in here with you!

Sleep in there
and freeze to death.

- I'd rather do that than, than-

- Than, than what?

A girl with your experience,

hey, I can be number 88.

We could be nice and warm.

You'd only have one bed
to make up in the morning.

Hmm?

Good night, Mrs. Fenton.

Hey!

You forgot something.

- I've forgotten you!

Good try, but
don't try it again.

Sorry about keeping you
here, but it's up to you.

- Truce?

Suffering from
shock and exposure?

- I'm suffering from something.

- Oh, yes.

Of course it's been hours
since you took a lover.

Days.

- This much of a truce?

Why?

- Don't ask questions.

Not now.

Geez, I can see
the headlines now,

"Politician's niece abduced."

What's the matter?
- Nothing.

- Why are you shaking?

- I'm shaking nothing.

I'm just cold.
- Yeah?

Nervous?

I'm not nervous,
I'm just cold.

Well, why'd you move your
bed from the fireplace?

Stay right where you are.

Better?
- Mm-hmm, much.

- You know, we could be friends.

I'd like that.

We've told each other a lot
of lies, but that isn't.

That was an even
better try, hmm?

- You never give up.

I have now.

- Why?

- Things have changed.

Is that why you
came back, hmm?

Truce?

- What about truth?

- Yeah, I guess it's about time

I started telling you the truth.

No, you don't.

- 55 pence, please.

- Here you are.

Keep the change,
- Oh.

- And could we leave now please?

We'd better just
wait for those two men

running down the hill.

- We're in an awful hurry.

- They're in a hurry as well.

- Please, it's very urgent.

- Oh, why didn't you say so?

- Why did those men want you?

Well, first of all, let
me tell you, I'm not a spy.

No, you see what I do,

is I smuggle manuscripts
out of Russia,

you know, political
memoirs, novels.

Works that are banned
by the Soviets,

I help to get them
published in the West.

Is that what you
put in my case?

- Yes.

- The whole manuscript?

- Well, on microfilm, of course.

- Why?

Well, I'd thought they'd
caught me in Bucharest

with a hotel full
of Secret Police.

Well, how did I know they were
there to arrest your husband?

Why didn't you
tell me that before?

What you do is-

- Make money.

I'm not a boy scout
doing good deeds.

I get paid very, very well,

or I used to.

Now, what's your angle?

I thought you
were a spy, you see?

That's why I pretended
to have what you wanted.

I was going to get you
arrested and swapped for John.

- Don't worry about it.

How can you get me arrested?

I'm not a spy.

- You may be now.

- Oh, it's you.

- Baxter, I must know,

did you do it?

- Well, you see, the thing is,

my mother came
down last Tuesday,

and she's not been at all well.

She's had this thing right
down her side, me aunt.

She's not really me aunt,

but that's what we call her,

and it was the night porter.

- Did you or didn't you?

- No.

- You didn't.

- My nerves saved me.

If you never speak to me again,

I don't blame you.

I've let you down.

I'm pathetic.

- Of course you're not.

You're wonderful.

- Am I?

- Baxter?

- Oh.

Did I interrupt something?

Who is she?

- One of the net ball players.

We were just about to kick off.

- I'll go.

Goodnight.

Who was that?

- Pardon?
- Who was that?

- Yesterday's woman.

- Hey, now, look.

You do not have to stay.

You are a woman with
a will of your own,

and very determined.

Ah, you're getting
up now and leaving?

Nothing's gonna stop
you, especially me.

- But it may be raining.

- Andrej Sterrans?

What do you mean
barging in here?

- You're under arrest.

How can they arrest
an innocent man?

It's as bad as over there.

The Secret Police barge in
in the middle of the night.

- We don't have Secret Police.

We have the Special Branch.

- Demand to do the same thing.

Fabienne, evidence
was found in his room,

conclusive evidence that
the man's a Soviet agent.

- Planted evidence.

Uncle, isn't it obvious?

That's why the Russians
got him out of the way.

I was with him.

We were forced to
go to Scotland.

- Good grief, girl.

The Russian Embassy's already
admitted that he's a spy.

But that's because
they want him.

I've told you what he does.

- Proof positive,

and don't go on about that
story of lost luggage.

I'm going to read
the sporting page.

- Morning, Trevor.

Morning, Fabienne.

Splendid news.

- What?

- Chap we arrested last night.

The Russians have agreed
to swap him for John.

- No.

- Why ever not?

This man means nothing to us.

- Just a man.

That means the
bloody ice has melted.

That's something.

- There he is.

- Still don't like the fella.

Still looks too smooth.

- Look!

John's suitcase,

- Huh?

I forgot there
was another one.

He must've taken it to Moscow.

You put all my clothing
in that suitcase.

Don't you see?

Soon they'll,

they'll know who you are.

When the case is
here, I'll be there.

You must be the first Soviet
prisoner to put on weight.

When they take the photographs,
suck your cheeks in.

- Come along, sir.

- Andrej, you must do something.

- Nothing I can do.

Wheels in motion.

Don't you want John back?

- Yes, of course I do.

But for the reason
and for the right man.

- Welcome home, comrade.

- Yeah.

Great to be back.

- Welcome home, sir.

- Oh, good to be back.

What have I missed?

- Oh nothing much really, sir.

Weather's been pretty
off in England.

Oh, Princess Anne's taking
her pilot's license.

- Good to catch you, comrade.

But you didn't
get the manuscript.

- But we stopped the flow.

- I must tell you,

only in self-preservation,

that at this very moment the
manuscript is making its way

toward the West with my file.

Here he comes.

- What are you talking about?

- Fenton was my partner

and he has the
manuscript in that case.

- Ridiculous.

- He's made quite a fool of you.

- Absurd.

- Worth a look?

- Stop!

- Pardon?

- Stop!

Open the case.

- I can't open the case.

You know why,

- Open it.

I'm sorry, this isn't on
my operational schedule.

- Why don't you open the case?

- John's case is full of money.

What does it mean?

- What the hell's going on?

Close it up, please.

- What does this mean?

- Means the exchange is off.

- Take him back.

I'm afraid it means he's
being paid for his hardship,

unless he's done an awful lot
of overtime in the salt mines.

- Mmmm.

- Sorry about this, sir.

Appears to be some
sort of hitch.

- I really must protest.

I'm in-

- Get after them.

He's just around.

- Get after who?

We'll sort it out
when we get there.

- Oh thank God, thank God.

Oh my God.

- Nice of you to drop in.

Got a lot of
spirit, that girl.

- Must be English.

- Look out!

Getting away and
it's all your fault.

How could you ever marry a guy
like that in the first place?

What the hell are you doing?

No time for fireworks.

Oh, you can't hit 'em with that.

That's used for
distress signals.

Don't you understand?

It's a flare gun.

- What?
- Don't point it at me.

Point it at him.

Now look what the hell
you're doing, you dummy.

- I got him, I got him!

- Here, take this.

- But how does it work?

- Just take that.

- Help.

- Come on, we better get back.

I think you've lost a husband.

- You've lost a manuscript.

- Eh, it wasn't much of a book.

- He wasn't much of a husband.

I wonder what
they'll do with him.

- Depends on who they are.

Wait a minute.

Which bank are we are on?

- The West of course.

- Sure?

- Oh, naturally.

It's obvious.

- I hope you're right

because if you're not the whole
thing starts all over again.

Double.

- Halt!

- You are sure this is the West?

- Of course.

- Mmm, okay.

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