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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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And then there's a big explosion
and lots of bubbles.
2
00:00:05,848 --> 00:00:07,873
That's where babies come from.
3
00:00:07,950 --> 00:00:10,145
(Laughing)
4
00:00:10,219 --> 00:00:13,120
Oh, well, close enough.
5
00:00:13,189 --> 00:00:15,453
I did the math once.
6
00:00:15,525 --> 00:00:18,289
It turns out every 17.4 dinners
7
00:00:18,361 --> 00:00:20,761
my family actually has
a pleasant meal together.
8
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Hey, look at this.
9
00:00:21,831 --> 00:00:23,799
I made a pea angel.
10
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Oh, you're a pea angel.
11
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Stop playing with your food.
12
00:00:29,105 --> 00:00:30,129
(Laughs)
13
00:00:31,874 --> 00:00:34,172
Oh, Mom...
14
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,608
Don't you dare.
15
00:00:35,678 --> 00:00:37,111
Relax, I wasn't really going to.
16
00:00:37,180 --> 00:00:38,340
Then don't.
17
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:39,438
I wasn't going to.
18
00:00:39,515 --> 00:00:41,312
Then don't.
19
00:00:41,384 --> 00:00:43,978
Well, don't accuse me of something
that I wasn't going to do.
20
00:00:46,489 --> 00:00:48,320
Interesting mood shift.
21
00:00:48,391 --> 00:00:51,189
It would take hours to explain
the psychology behind this.
22
00:00:51,260 --> 00:00:53,319
So let me just put it this way:
23
00:00:53,396 --> 00:00:54,658
Dynamite...
24
00:00:54,730 --> 00:00:56,288
kid with matches.
25
00:00:56,365 --> 00:00:58,026
You're going to throw that at Mom?
26
00:00:58,100 --> 00:00:59,795
I wasn't going to.
27
00:00:59,869 --> 00:01:01,200
Jeez Louise. Reese...
28
00:01:01,270 --> 00:01:02,498
Hal, I can handle this.
29
00:01:02,572 --> 00:01:05,132
Reese, I'm warning you.
30
00:01:05,208 --> 00:01:06,368
I wasn't going to.
31
00:01:06,442 --> 00:01:08,672
But if you think I would,
then maybe I should.
32
00:01:08,744 --> 00:01:10,735
Oh, good.
Now he's panicking.
33
00:01:10,813 --> 00:01:14,112
Just put the spoon down and apologize.
34
00:01:14,183 --> 00:01:16,310
Okay, she gave him an out.
35
00:01:16,385 --> 00:01:18,751
Apologize for what?
I wasn't going to do anything.
36
00:01:18,821 --> 00:01:21,654
Just stop talking!
Just stop talking and let me think!
37
00:01:21,724 --> 00:01:23,021
Dad, do something.
38
00:01:23,092 --> 00:01:25,151
I got it.
39
00:01:39,775 --> 00:01:42,710
What do you think you're doing?
40
00:01:44,447 --> 00:01:46,438
I'm being cute and spontaneous?
41
00:01:49,919 --> 00:01:52,114
(Laughs)
42
00:01:54,123 --> 00:01:55,647
(Laughing)
43
00:02:02,632 --> 00:02:04,532
Don't do it.
44
00:02:04,600 --> 00:02:06,932
I wasn't going to.
45
00:02:07,003 --> 00:02:09,870
Yep, this is a good dinner.
46
00:02:09,939 --> 00:02:13,397
♪ Yes, no, maybe ♪
47
00:02:13,476 --> 00:02:15,944
♪ I don't know ♪
48
00:02:16,012 --> 00:02:19,277
♪ Can you repeat the question? ♪
49
00:02:19,348 --> 00:02:21,475
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
50
00:02:21,551 --> 00:02:23,416
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
51
00:02:23,486 --> 00:02:25,351
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
52
00:02:25,421 --> 00:02:28,447
♪ And you're not so big ♪
53
00:02:28,524 --> 00:02:30,958
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
54
00:02:31,027 --> 00:02:32,961
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
55
00:02:33,029 --> 00:02:34,496
♪ You're not the boss of me now ♪
56
00:02:34,564 --> 00:02:38,193
♪ And you're not so big ♪
57
00:02:38,267 --> 00:02:41,998
♪ Life is unfair. ♪
58
00:02:51,864 --> 00:02:52,853
(Bell Rings)
59
00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:54,024
Malcolm.
60
00:02:56,635 --> 00:02:57,897
Yeah?
61
00:02:57,970 --> 00:03:00,438
Can I see you for a minute, please?
62
00:03:01,841 --> 00:03:02,967
Ooh.
63
00:03:03,042 --> 00:03:04,532
Teacher's favorite.
64
00:03:04,610 --> 00:03:05,872
Teacher's pet.
65
00:03:07,279 --> 00:03:09,713
"Dear... Penthouse..."
66
00:03:09,782 --> 00:03:13,047
"Yesterday I pushed my friend Stevie
down some stairs."
67
00:03:13,119 --> 00:03:16,213
Point... taken...
68
00:03:19,625 --> 00:03:20,819
What?
69
00:03:20,893 --> 00:03:23,088
Malcolm, I'm a little concerned.
70
00:03:23,162 --> 00:03:28,099
You're doing very well in your studies,
but... I still sense
71
00:03:28,167 --> 00:03:30,260
an emotional distance between us.
72
00:03:30,336 --> 00:03:32,497
And I hate it.
73
00:03:32,571 --> 00:03:37,304
I'd really like us to try to connect
on a deeper level.
74
00:03:37,376 --> 00:03:40,038
Whoa. She is coming on to me.
75
00:03:40,112 --> 00:03:42,103
I thought you were dating the janitor.
76
00:03:42,181 --> 00:03:43,876
Who told you that?
77
00:03:43,949 --> 00:03:45,644
God. One drink and...
78
00:03:45,718 --> 00:03:46,650
Never mind.
79
00:03:48,254 --> 00:03:51,951
What I am trying to say is,
I know your parents.
80
00:03:52,024 --> 00:03:54,959
I know you have a colorful home life.
81
00:03:55,027 --> 00:03:58,121
So, just remember if you ever
need anything at all...
82
00:03:58,197 --> 00:04:00,597
a sympathetic ear,
a shoulder to cry on...
83
00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:03,692
I want you to come to me.
84
00:04:03,769 --> 00:04:07,603
Yeah. That's what I need...
another mom.
85
00:04:07,673 --> 00:04:08,970
Okay. Great.
86
00:04:09,041 --> 00:04:10,030
Thanks a lot.
87
00:04:10,109 --> 00:04:13,636
Well, I got to go do the... thing.
88
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,939
And then I drew a robot, Francis.
89
00:04:17,016 --> 00:04:18,244
But my crayon broke.
90
00:04:18,317 --> 00:04:19,784
And then I had a Popsicle.
91
00:04:19,852 --> 00:04:21,820
I mean, I had 12 Popsicles.
92
00:04:21,887 --> 00:04:23,946
You like Popsicles, Francis?
93
00:04:24,023 --> 00:04:26,150
Shut up, Dewey.
Stop bugging Francis.
94
00:04:26,225 --> 00:04:27,692
I'm so glad you're home.
95
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:31,457
You don't know what it's like
dealing with these little kids all day.
96
00:04:31,530 --> 00:04:33,327
It's the coolest thing.
97
00:04:33,399 --> 00:04:36,334
It's the first time Francis
is home from military school.
98
00:04:36,402 --> 00:04:38,529
Mom and Dad are going off
to some wedding
99
00:04:38,604 --> 00:04:41,573
and Francis is in charge of us
for the whole weekend.
100
00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:43,198
I can't believe how much I missed him.
101
00:04:43,275 --> 00:04:44,367
Hey.
102
00:04:44,443 --> 00:04:45,501
Hmph.
103
00:04:45,578 --> 00:04:47,546
He's so great.
104
00:04:47,613 --> 00:04:51,879
Boys! The number for the hotel
is on the counter.
105
00:04:51,951 --> 00:04:55,512
I left money for pizza,
but I want a receipt and exact change.
106
00:04:57,323 --> 00:04:59,985
Yep, that underwear
is going to wrinkle.
107
00:05:01,227 --> 00:05:04,560
It's kind of nice having Francis
back in the house, don't you think?
108
00:05:05,664 --> 00:05:07,598
- What?
- Nothing.
109
00:05:07,666 --> 00:05:10,567
You're just cute
when you think you're being subtle.
110
00:05:10,636 --> 00:05:13,434
Really?
111
00:05:13,505 --> 00:05:15,871
Of course it's nice
having Francis home.
112
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:17,636
Well, it's been
a few months now.
113
00:05:17,710 --> 00:05:20,110
Maybe it's time to,
you know, think about it.
114
00:05:20,179 --> 00:05:21,612
I don't know. Maybe.
115
00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,672
We'll see how he does this weekend.
116
00:05:24,750 --> 00:05:27,583
God, I hate this hairdo.
117
00:05:27,653 --> 00:05:30,781
I don't even know why I bother
trying to impress your family anymore.
118
00:05:30,856 --> 00:05:32,289
They've always hated me.
119
00:05:32,358 --> 00:05:35,987
Well, you are the one who stole
their little Hally away from them.
120
00:05:37,796 --> 00:05:40,060
Better get moving.
121
00:05:40,132 --> 00:05:41,565
And then it got away.
122
00:05:41,634 --> 00:05:43,659
But I found another one,
but it died.
123
00:05:43,736 --> 00:05:44,760
And then...
124
00:05:44,837 --> 00:05:46,429
I said leave him alone,
you butt-munch.
125
00:05:46,505 --> 00:05:47,437
Let me go.
126
00:05:47,506 --> 00:05:48,438
Make me.
127
00:05:52,478 --> 00:05:54,742
Guys, quit it.
128
00:05:54,813 --> 00:05:56,804
Listen for a second.
129
00:05:56,882 --> 00:05:58,110
I just heard Mom and Dad.
130
00:05:58,183 --> 00:06:00,344
They're thinking about
letting Francis come home.
131
00:06:01,887 --> 00:06:04,014
You serious?
132
00:06:04,089 --> 00:06:06,819
Yeah. They want to see
how he does with us this weekend.
133
00:06:06,892 --> 00:06:09,190
- Okay? So we can't screw up.
- Cool.
134
00:06:09,261 --> 00:06:10,728
- Let's go tell him.
- No.
135
00:06:10,796 --> 00:06:13,264
You know how Francis gets
when people tell him what to do.
136
00:06:13,332 --> 00:06:15,095
I am warning you.
137
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:19,228
If you get your nose pierced,
you are going to military school.
138
00:06:19,305 --> 00:06:23,105
And I mean it. Really.
Do you hear me?
139
00:06:24,076 --> 00:06:25,805
Hey, Mom.
140
00:06:25,878 --> 00:06:28,438
What's for dinner?
141
00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:30,141
Right.
142
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:31,273
What are we going to do?
143
00:06:31,350 --> 00:06:32,977
We're going to be good, that's what.
144
00:06:33,052 --> 00:06:34,280
How do we be good?
145
00:06:34,353 --> 00:06:35,411
I don't know.
146
00:06:35,487 --> 00:06:37,887
Honestly,
it's never come up before.
147
00:06:37,956 --> 00:06:39,981
Look, we're just not
going to do anything.
148
00:06:40,059 --> 00:06:42,027
That way, we can't
get in any trouble.
149
00:06:42,094 --> 00:06:46,155
Honey. We're late.
We better hit the road.
150
00:06:46,231 --> 00:06:48,859
Fine. I'll shave my legs
in the car.
151
00:06:48,934 --> 00:06:50,162
Okay.
152
00:06:50,235 --> 00:06:53,227
I've marked the liquor bottles, and
we can taste when they're watered down.
153
00:06:53,305 --> 00:06:55,796
I've locked out the smut channel,
counted your father's cigars.
154
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:58,775
I've checked the odometer on the car
and the balance on the credit cards.
155
00:06:58,844 --> 00:07:00,402
We love you, have a good time.
156
00:07:00,479 --> 00:07:03,937
And just remember, Dewey will tell us
everything you did while we're gone.
157
00:07:04,016 --> 00:07:06,177
Uh, what your mother said, boys.
158
00:07:06,251 --> 00:07:08,219
Minus one.
159
00:07:12,124 --> 00:07:15,890
Don't even think about it.
160
00:07:17,229 --> 00:07:18,253
Think about what?
161
00:07:18,330 --> 00:07:20,230
She's bluffing.
162
00:07:20,299 --> 00:07:23,860
Okay, I am going to show you guys
the coolest thing you have ever seen.
163
00:07:23,936 --> 00:07:28,066
Get me some lighter fluid, a waffle iron
and one of Dewey's stuffed animals.
164
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:29,835
The furrier, the better.
165
00:07:29,908 --> 00:07:32,103
Actually, we're kind of tired.
166
00:07:32,177 --> 00:07:33,576
Tired?
167
00:07:33,645 --> 00:07:35,738
Yeah. Tired.
168
00:07:35,814 --> 00:07:37,441
I'm not tired.
169
00:07:37,516 --> 00:07:40,314
Okay, yeah, I'm tired.
170
00:07:40,386 --> 00:07:42,047
Let's just go watch TV.
171
00:07:42,121 --> 00:07:45,022
Whatever.
172
00:07:49,762 --> 00:07:52,094
This plan better work.
173
00:07:52,164 --> 00:07:56,658
The only thing worse than no TV
is golf on TV.
174
00:07:56,735 --> 00:07:59,101
Oh, come on, guys.
Let's go outside.
175
00:07:59,171 --> 00:08:00,229
Let's go do something.
176
00:08:00,305 --> 00:08:02,136
No. They're only
on the sixth hole.
177
00:08:02,207 --> 00:08:05,540
They're only on the sixth hole.
178
00:08:05,611 --> 00:08:07,408
(Telephone Rings)
179
00:08:07,479 --> 00:08:08,673
Hello.
180
00:08:08,747 --> 00:08:11,307
Francis, bud,
I heard you were in town.
181
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:12,543
You da man, Francis!
182
00:08:12,618 --> 00:08:15,348
Hey, guys, what's going on?
183
00:08:15,421 --> 00:08:17,651
Same old, same old, man.
184
00:08:19,091 --> 00:08:21,286
Oh, Circus says hi.
185
00:08:21,360 --> 00:08:25,228
Dude, you're not going to believe it.
I finally moved out.
186
00:08:25,297 --> 00:08:28,357
I'm living in the basement now.
Total freedom, dude.
187
00:08:28,434 --> 00:08:29,901
You da man, Francis!
188
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:33,768
Mom, you're supposed to knock.
189
00:08:33,839 --> 00:08:35,101
Dude, we're coming over.
190
00:08:35,174 --> 00:08:37,233
Okay. Hey, Richie and the guys
are coming over.
191
00:08:37,309 --> 00:08:38,833
Maybe they shouldn't.
192
00:08:38,911 --> 00:08:41,243
You know, Mom and Dad are gone.
193
00:08:41,313 --> 00:08:43,304
Okay, got it.
Richie, listen to me.
194
00:08:43,382 --> 00:08:45,748
I'm watching my brothers,
so we got to hang here.
195
00:08:45,818 --> 00:08:47,683
And no parties okay?
196
00:08:47,753 --> 00:08:48,879
I'm serious.
197
00:08:48,954 --> 00:08:50,444
It's got to be just the three of you.
198
00:08:53,325 --> 00:08:56,726
Huh. You wouldn't think only three guys
could do so much damage.
199
00:08:56,795 --> 00:08:58,990
Call us next time you're in town.
200
00:08:59,064 --> 00:09:00,292
You da man, Francis!
201
00:09:06,205 --> 00:09:09,663
♪ Skyrockets in flight ♪
202
00:09:09,741 --> 00:09:11,174
♪ Afternoon delight... ♪
203
00:09:11,243 --> 00:09:13,973
Are you trying to seduce me?
204
00:09:14,046 --> 00:09:15,980
I can't believe
we're going to this wedding.
205
00:09:16,048 --> 00:09:17,447
What a waste of time.
206
00:09:17,516 --> 00:09:19,347
Oh, come on,
I promise it'll be fun.
207
00:09:19,418 --> 00:09:20,942
Hal, I'm not Dewey.
208
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:24,716
Sorry. But still, we're alone,
we're away from the kids.
209
00:09:24,790 --> 00:09:28,692
Right now, we're just
two unencumbered consenting adults.
210
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:31,558
I say we enjoy it.
211
00:09:31,630 --> 00:09:32,961
Yeah, you're right.
212
00:09:33,031 --> 00:09:36,228
It will be nice to have some
time for just the two of us.
213
00:09:36,301 --> 00:09:41,034
And I'm going to love not having
to yell at somebody every 20 seconds.
214
00:09:41,106 --> 00:09:45,406
Either speed up or get
off the road, jackass!
215
00:09:45,477 --> 00:09:47,877
Absolutely deserved it.
216
00:09:50,916 --> 00:09:52,474
(Spitting):
I hate those guys.
217
00:09:52,551 --> 00:09:55,452
Did you see Circus
break that cinder block with his head?
218
00:09:55,521 --> 00:09:57,182
That's a good lesson for you guys.
219
00:09:57,256 --> 00:10:01,352
It didn't break the first six times.
But did he quit trying? No, sir.
220
00:10:02,427 --> 00:10:04,054
Francis, we have to clean this up.
221
00:10:04,129 --> 00:10:05,187
Yeah.
222
00:10:05,264 --> 00:10:06,288
No. I mean now.
223
00:10:06,365 --> 00:10:08,492
If Mom and Dad see this
they'll freak.
224
00:10:08,567 --> 00:10:12,059
So what else is new?
They always freak. I'm used to it.
225
00:10:12,137 --> 00:10:13,866
This is different.
We have to clean up.
226
00:10:13,939 --> 00:10:15,839
What's with you guys?
I'm in charge here.
227
00:10:15,908 --> 00:10:18,001
I'm the only one who'll
get in trouble. Relax.
228
00:10:18,076 --> 00:10:21,534
- But we want you to come home.
- What?
229
00:10:21,613 --> 00:10:23,103
I heard Mom and Dad talking.
230
00:10:23,181 --> 00:10:25,706
This weekend is like a test for you,
or a trap.
231
00:10:25,784 --> 00:10:27,547
If you do good,
they may let you come home.
232
00:10:27,619 --> 00:10:30,713
And if you don't, they're gonna toss
your butt back into military school.
233
00:10:30,789 --> 00:10:32,086
Okay, look...
234
00:10:32,157 --> 00:10:34,125
Francis, it sucks
around here without you.
235
00:10:34,192 --> 00:10:36,183
Can't you just try for our sake?
236
00:10:36,261 --> 00:10:38,286
Look, guys,
I appreciate your sentiment.
237
00:10:38,363 --> 00:10:40,831
But they're not going
to decide my whole future
238
00:10:40,899 --> 00:10:44,665
based on how I behave over one weekend
without even telling me about it.
239
00:10:44,736 --> 00:10:47,068
It's too arbitrary.
It's unreasonable.
240
00:10:47,139 --> 00:10:48,333
It's Mom.
241
00:10:48,407 --> 00:10:50,170
Okay, let's clean up.
242
00:11:00,285 --> 00:11:03,686
♪ I'm not done ♪
243
00:11:03,755 --> 00:11:06,553
♪ And I won't be ♪
244
00:11:06,625 --> 00:11:10,288
♪ Till my head falls off ♪
245
00:11:13,966 --> 00:11:15,456
It's perfect.
246
00:11:15,534 --> 00:11:17,297
The house has never
been this clean.
247
00:11:17,369 --> 00:11:18,495
Uh-oh.
248
00:11:18,570 --> 00:11:19,537
What?
249
00:11:19,605 --> 00:11:21,505
It's too clean.
250
00:11:21,573 --> 00:11:23,234
You're right.
251
00:11:23,308 --> 00:11:24,798
They'll never buy it.
252
00:11:24,876 --> 00:11:29,040
♪ I'm not done ♪
253
00:11:29,114 --> 00:11:31,742
♪ And I won't be ♪
254
00:11:31,817 --> 00:11:35,150
♪ Till my head falls off ♪
255
00:11:35,220 --> 00:11:39,452
♪ Though that may not be
a long way off ♪
256
00:11:39,524 --> 00:11:44,393
♪ I won't be done
until my head ♪
257
00:11:44,463 --> 00:11:52,495
♪ Falls off ♪
258
00:11:54,306 --> 00:11:59,005
Ah. Looks like we're the only ones
who gave them pot holders.
259
00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:02,846
- Hi.
- Hi.
260
00:12:02,914 --> 00:12:04,404
It's great to see you.
261
00:12:04,483 --> 00:12:06,246
You, too. You look terrific.
262
00:12:06,318 --> 00:12:08,752
How long do you think it's been?
263
00:12:08,820 --> 00:12:10,151
I don't know.
264
00:12:10,222 --> 00:12:12,213
Will you excuse me?
265
00:12:20,499 --> 00:12:22,990
Well, that was worth
driving 600 miles for.
266
00:12:23,068 --> 00:12:24,535
Who was that guy?
267
00:12:24,603 --> 00:12:28,061
It's the groom, Hal.
268
00:12:28,140 --> 00:12:31,200
I wish people would wear
name tags at these things.
269
00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,273
Oh, perfect.
270
00:12:34,346 --> 00:12:36,541
Nice touch with
the bread crumbs, Dewey.
271
00:12:36,615 --> 00:12:37,912
Huh?
272
00:12:37,983 --> 00:12:40,349
I clipped my toenails
on the coffee table.
273
00:12:40,419 --> 00:12:42,614
Attaboy.
She will never know a thing.
274
00:12:42,688 --> 00:12:44,019
Wait.
275
00:12:48,794 --> 00:12:50,125
Ta-da!
276
00:12:56,435 --> 00:12:58,369
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
277
00:12:58,437 --> 00:13:01,167
Malcolm!
Malcolm, are you okay?
278
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:02,797
I think so.
279
00:13:02,874 --> 00:13:03,841
Ow.!!
280
00:13:03,909 --> 00:13:04,841
Hold still.
281
00:13:04,910 --> 00:13:06,104
Come here and let me see it.
282
00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:07,042
Let me see it.
283
00:13:07,112 --> 00:13:08,238
How does it look?
284
00:13:08,313 --> 00:13:09,337
Not... too bad.
285
00:13:09,414 --> 00:13:10,881
Put his face back on!
286
00:13:10,949 --> 00:13:13,213
Oh, man, what's that white stuff?
287
00:13:13,285 --> 00:13:15,310
- Is that bone?
- What?!
288
00:13:15,387 --> 00:13:16,718
Get ice and some paper towels.
289
00:13:16,788 --> 00:13:18,187
We have to put pressure on it.
290
00:13:18,256 --> 00:13:19,280
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
- I'm sorry.
291
00:13:19,357 --> 00:13:21,086
I have to put pressure on it.
292
00:13:21,159 --> 00:13:22,126
Reese, give me the ice!
293
00:13:22,194 --> 00:13:23,525
We don't have any.
We've got this.
294
00:13:23,595 --> 00:13:26,063
Fine. Give me some antiseptic.
295
00:13:26,131 --> 00:13:27,189
(Phone Ringing)
296
00:13:27,265 --> 00:13:28,289
Don't answer that.
297
00:13:28,366 --> 00:13:29,390
Dewey:
Hello.
298
00:13:29,468 --> 00:13:30,400
Lois:
Hi, Dewey.
299
00:13:30,469 --> 00:13:31,561
Hi, Mom.
300
00:13:31,636 --> 00:13:34,127
We're just calling to check in.
Let me speak with Francis.
301
00:13:34,206 --> 00:13:35,264
He's...
302
00:13:36,541 --> 00:13:37,974
in the bathroom.
303
00:13:38,043 --> 00:13:39,340
Well, let me talk to Malcolm.
304
00:13:39,411 --> 00:13:41,470
He's in the bathroom.
305
00:13:41,546 --> 00:13:44,310
They're both in the bathroom?
What are they doing in there?
306
00:13:44,382 --> 00:13:46,145
I have to go to the bathroom.
307
00:13:49,287 --> 00:13:50,481
We have to get you stitches.
308
00:13:50,555 --> 00:13:51,647
Let's go to the hospital.
309
00:13:51,723 --> 00:13:52,747
No! You can't.
310
00:13:52,824 --> 00:13:54,121
Mom and Dad will find out.
311
00:13:54,192 --> 00:13:57,389
Malcolm, this is a head injury.
You could have a concussion.
312
00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,056
Concussion?
I think he's making too much of this.
313
00:14:00,132 --> 00:14:01,861
I'm not as figgled as he hoogers.
314
00:14:01,933 --> 00:14:03,059
No!
315
00:14:03,135 --> 00:14:04,102
I don't care.
316
00:14:04,169 --> 00:14:05,431
I'm not going to the hospital.
317
00:14:05,504 --> 00:14:06,528
Do you hear me?
318
00:14:06,605 --> 00:14:08,402
There is no way that I...
319
00:14:08,473 --> 00:14:10,373
Get the car!
320
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,505
I can't see anything.
321
00:14:14,579 --> 00:14:16,843
You want to get blood
all over the car?
322
00:14:16,915 --> 00:14:18,576
Wait! We can't take the car.
323
00:14:18,650 --> 00:14:19,776
They'll know.
324
00:14:19,851 --> 00:14:21,443
Mom checked the odometer, remember?
325
00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:22,578
I'm on top of it.
326
00:14:25,524 --> 00:14:26,513
Whee! Hi, school!
327
00:14:26,591 --> 00:14:28,525
Oh, Malcolm, you should see this!
328
00:14:28,593 --> 00:14:29,924
Francis is kicking ass!
329
00:14:29,995 --> 00:14:31,053
(Radio Blasting)
330
00:14:31,129 --> 00:14:32,460
I hate this '80s crap.
331
00:14:32,531 --> 00:14:34,624
One good thing about a head injury:
332
00:14:34,699 --> 00:14:37,759
There's a good chance
I won't remember any of this.
333
00:14:37,836 --> 00:14:39,497
Oh, great. A one-way street.
334
00:14:39,571 --> 00:14:42,039
How does that work
if I'm going backwards?
335
00:14:42,107 --> 00:14:43,904
And on this joyous day,
336
00:14:43,975 --> 00:14:50,073
as we celebrate the occasion
of two souls joining into one...
337
00:14:50,148 --> 00:14:53,743
Do you think this is going to be
one of those long services?
338
00:14:55,720 --> 00:14:57,654
What's wrong?
339
00:14:59,591 --> 00:15:02,992
Did you know that your family
has given me a nickname?
340
00:15:03,061 --> 00:15:06,497
Really? That's nice.
What is it?
341
00:15:08,466 --> 00:15:12,527
Lois... Common... Denominator.
342
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,539
Hey, come on.
343
00:15:17,609 --> 00:15:19,770
It's just that they've
never seen anyone like you.
344
00:15:19,845 --> 00:15:23,281
I mean, you're,
you're honest, and, uh...
345
00:15:23,348 --> 00:15:25,077
unpretentious.
346
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,742
Direct.
347
00:15:26,818 --> 00:15:30,185
They're baffled by that.
348
00:15:30,255 --> 00:15:34,453
I'm the only one that gets you, Lois,
and, frankly, I...
349
00:15:34,526 --> 00:15:37,222
I like that.
350
00:15:37,295 --> 00:15:40,423
Kind of makes you my secret treasure.
351
00:15:45,303 --> 00:15:47,863
Oh, Hal.
352
00:15:49,741 --> 00:15:51,038
...Between the Lord and us,
353
00:15:51,109 --> 00:15:56,672
his servants, two people
brought together in love...
354
00:15:56,748 --> 00:15:59,546
(Moaning Softly)
355
00:16:10,896 --> 00:16:12,727
Oh, for God's sake.
356
00:16:12,797 --> 00:16:14,264
You kids again?
357
00:16:14,332 --> 00:16:15,731
And a head injury.
358
00:16:15,800 --> 00:16:18,997
You boys like to
keep it interesting, don't you?
359
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,698
We kind of have a history here.
360
00:16:21,773 --> 00:16:23,365
♪ I was in the right place ♪
361
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,136
♪ But it must have been
the wrong time ♪
362
00:16:25,210 --> 00:16:28,043
♪ Thought I said the right thing ♪
363
00:16:28,113 --> 00:16:30,343
♪ But it must have been
the wrong line ♪
364
00:16:30,415 --> 00:16:32,508
♪ I was in the right world ♪
365
00:16:32,584 --> 00:16:35,985
♪ But it seemed like it was
wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong ♪
366
00:16:41,626 --> 00:16:44,151
Look, Doc, uh, about the bill...
367
00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:46,094
Oh, don't worry.
We'll send it to your parents.
368
00:16:46,164 --> 00:16:47,392
Yeah, well...
369
00:16:47,465 --> 00:16:49,695
we were kind of thinking
we'd pay for it now.
370
00:16:49,768 --> 00:16:52,703
Okeydokey, but it's probably
going to be about $400.
371
00:16:52,771 --> 00:16:54,204
- What?!
- $400?
372
00:16:54,272 --> 00:16:58,106
Don't you have a frequent customer
discount like at the car wash?
373
00:16:58,176 --> 00:16:59,803
Or maybe we could work it off.
374
00:16:59,878 --> 00:17:02,073
We could empty bedpans,
or wash cadavers.
375
00:17:02,147 --> 00:17:04,741
It's probably not nearly as cool
as it sounds.
376
00:17:04,816 --> 00:17:06,750
Sorry.
377
00:17:09,321 --> 00:17:12,449
Well, we're screwed.
378
00:17:12,524 --> 00:17:16,085
Come on, there's got to be something
we can do, someone we can call.
379
00:17:16,161 --> 00:17:18,391
There's no one, Malcolm.
380
00:17:18,463 --> 00:17:22,559
Actually, there might be,
but I'm not sure if it's worth it.
381
00:17:22,634 --> 00:17:24,465
(Gasping):
Oh, Malcolm!
382
00:17:24,536 --> 00:17:25,764
Are you all right?
383
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:27,566
Sorry it took me so long.
384
00:17:27,639 --> 00:17:31,575
I was having a chardonnay when
you called, and I had to take a cab.
385
00:17:31,643 --> 00:17:34,669
Oh, God, I knew we made
a deeper connection. I just knew it.
386
00:17:34,746 --> 00:17:37,214
Now it's going to be hard
to turn against your parents,
387
00:17:37,282 --> 00:17:38,613
but in time you'll see...
388
00:17:38,683 --> 00:17:39,877
No! You don't understand.
389
00:17:39,951 --> 00:17:41,248
My parents didn't do this.
390
00:17:41,319 --> 00:17:44,117
It was just an accident,
and they can't find out about it.
391
00:17:44,189 --> 00:17:45,053
What?
392
00:17:45,123 --> 00:17:47,148
It's kind of complicated.
393
00:17:47,225 --> 00:17:49,318
See, my parents
are away at a wedding,
394
00:17:49,394 --> 00:17:52,420
and my brother is home
from military school to take care of us.
395
00:17:52,497 --> 00:17:56,331
I don't think people should be punished
just 'cause their dad uses cheap nails.
396
00:17:56,401 --> 00:17:58,426
We need $400, lady.
397
00:17:58,503 --> 00:17:59,800
Will you let me talk?!
398
00:17:59,871 --> 00:18:02,101
We need the money
for the doctor bill,
399
00:18:02,173 --> 00:18:04,971
because if my parents
find out that I got hurt
400
00:18:05,043 --> 00:18:08,012
then they'll send Francis away,
and we'll never see him again,
401
00:18:08,079 --> 00:18:11,173
and, you know, we love him.
402
00:18:12,384 --> 00:18:15,012
Malcolm, I can't do that.
403
00:18:15,086 --> 00:18:17,646
But you said
if I ever needed anything...
404
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:20,350
Yes, I was talking
about emotional stuff.
405
00:18:20,425 --> 00:18:24,691
I... Do you have any idea
what a teacher earns?
406
00:18:24,763 --> 00:18:27,630
I have $62 in my checking account.
407
00:18:27,699 --> 00:18:29,030
They take credit cards.
408
00:18:29,100 --> 00:18:31,261
I'm sorry.
409
00:18:31,336 --> 00:18:35,102
I'm... I'm, I'm just sorry.
410
00:18:38,343 --> 00:18:39,742
We can break her.
411
00:18:39,811 --> 00:18:41,472
Guilt. Go for guilt.
412
00:18:41,546 --> 00:18:42,570
I got it.
413
00:18:42,647 --> 00:18:44,114
That's okay.
414
00:18:44,182 --> 00:18:46,673
Thanks, anyway.
415
00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:48,981
Well, squirt,
416
00:18:49,054 --> 00:18:51,716
looks like I'm going to be
going back to military school
417
00:18:51,790 --> 00:18:55,351
and I'm not going to see you
for a really, really long time.
418
00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:59,363
But I need you to be brave.
Can you do that for me, squirt?
419
00:18:59,431 --> 00:19:01,490
Stop, Francis!
420
00:19:01,566 --> 00:19:04,535
I wish I could, kiddo,
but I can't.
421
00:19:04,602 --> 00:19:07,969
(Dewey Crying)
422
00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:11,133
- Why are you doing this?
- I'm not doing this, Dewey.
423
00:19:11,209 --> 00:19:13,370
It's just the way life is sometimes.
424
00:19:13,445 --> 00:19:14,969
(Dewey Crying)
425
00:19:15,046 --> 00:19:16,911
Please stop crying.
426
00:19:16,981 --> 00:19:20,178
- It hurts!
- I know it does. It hurts me too.
427
00:19:20,251 --> 00:19:22,811
Wait! I'll, I'll do it.
428
00:19:22,887 --> 00:19:25,515
I guess Jamaica
isn't going anywhere.
429
00:19:26,658 --> 00:19:28,182
Where is my credit card?
430
00:19:28,259 --> 00:19:31,251
- It fell out of your wallet.
- How did that happen?
431
00:19:31,329 --> 00:19:33,854
Let's go.
Processing is right over here.
432
00:19:33,932 --> 00:19:36,526
Right near the vending machines.
Do you have any change?
433
00:19:36,601 --> 00:19:37,932
Thank you.
434
00:19:38,002 --> 00:19:40,027
Way to take one for the team, buddy.
435
00:19:40,105 --> 00:19:43,199
When we get home
you can eat ice cream until you puke.
436
00:19:43,274 --> 00:19:46,505
(Still Sobbing):
Yay.
437
00:19:46,578 --> 00:19:50,571
(Whooping And Laughing)
438
00:19:56,421 --> 00:19:58,855
- (Groaning And Exclaiming)
- Hey! Ocupado.
439
00:20:05,130 --> 00:20:07,621
Huh. Well...
440
00:20:07,699 --> 00:20:11,465
I don't see any holes
or crappy attempts to plaster them up.
441
00:20:11,536 --> 00:20:13,731
But I'm sure there's something.
442
00:20:13,805 --> 00:20:15,739
There's always something.
443
00:20:17,609 --> 00:20:19,873
What are you hiding
underneath that hat?
444
00:20:19,944 --> 00:20:22,105
Nothing.
I was just wearing...
445
00:20:27,418 --> 00:20:29,818
You boys.
446
00:20:29,888 --> 00:20:32,220
That's it?
447
00:20:32,290 --> 00:20:35,225
So, you guys think Francis
did a good job taking care of us, then?
448
00:20:35,293 --> 00:20:37,488
- Oh, a great job.
- Absolutely.
449
00:20:37,562 --> 00:20:39,894
You know, Francis, we were having
our doubts about that school,
450
00:20:39,964 --> 00:20:41,898
but it's really matured you.
451
00:20:41,966 --> 00:20:44,935
In fact, I think
it's the best decision we ever made.
452
00:20:45,003 --> 00:20:46,095
(Chuckling)
453
00:20:47,939 --> 00:20:50,999
Mom: 62,437...
454
00:20:51,075 --> 00:20:53,100
Kids: Zero.
455
00:20:55,847 --> 00:20:58,645
So, we get to see Francis again
in a month or two.
456
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,946
I know. It sucks,
but we gave it a shot.
457
00:21:01,019 --> 00:21:02,486
And school's easier now
458
00:21:02,554 --> 00:21:05,751
because Caroline won't even
make eye contact with me anymore.
459
00:21:05,823 --> 00:21:08,621
So it wasn't a complete waste,
and Mom always says
460
00:21:08,693 --> 00:21:12,026
it's not a wasted experience
if you learn something from it.
461
00:21:12,096 --> 00:21:13,825
And I definitely think I did.
462
00:21:13,898 --> 00:21:16,628
Okay! Ready!
32777
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