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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 WWW.MY-SUBS.CO 1 00:00:14,823 --> 00:00:16,085 What'd you do? 2 00:00:16,158 --> 00:00:17,250 What? 3 00:00:17,325 --> 00:00:18,917 Don't give me that. What'd you do? 4 00:00:18,994 --> 00:00:19,961 Nothing. 5 00:00:20,028 --> 00:00:21,620 Mom, I'm trying to study. 6 00:00:21,696 --> 00:00:23,095 Oh. 7 00:00:23,165 --> 00:00:26,601 I'm sure you don't mind if I, uh... 8 00:00:26,668 --> 00:00:27,726 took a look in here! 9 00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:30,704 Mom, I'm telling you. 10 00:00:30,772 --> 00:00:32,137 We didn't do anything. 11 00:00:32,207 --> 00:00:33,674 Oh, you boys are up to something. 12 00:00:33,742 --> 00:00:35,141 I can smell it. 13 00:00:37,012 --> 00:00:39,071 If you've broken another window, 14 00:00:39,147 --> 00:00:41,411 it is going to come out of your... 15 00:00:42,817 --> 00:00:43,784 Are you done? 16 00:00:43,852 --> 00:00:45,114 You want to frisk me? 17 00:00:45,187 --> 00:00:48,714 You just consider yourselves lucky... 18 00:00:48,790 --> 00:00:50,621 this time. 19 00:01:06,908 --> 00:01:08,569 That was close. 20 00:01:08,643 --> 00:01:12,170 Either she's losing her touch, or we're getting better. 21 00:01:12,247 --> 00:01:15,808 Yes, no, maybe 22 00:01:15,884 --> 00:01:18,682 I don't know 23 00:01:17,753 --> 00:01:20,881 Can you repeat the question? 24 00:01:20,957 --> 00:01:22,652 You're not the boss of me now 25 00:01:22,725 --> 00:01:25,956 And you're not so big 26 00:01:26,028 --> 00:01:28,087 You're not the boss of me now 27 00:01:28,164 --> 00:01:30,598 You're not the boss of me now 28 00:01:30,666 --> 00:01:32,566 You're not the boss of me now 29 00:01:32,635 --> 00:01:36,435 And you're not so big 30 00:01:36,505 --> 00:01:39,804 Life is unfair 31 00:01:41,644 --> 00:01:43,407 The good thing about being smart... 32 00:01:43,479 --> 00:01:46,004 is I never have to look up any phone numbers. 33 00:01:46,082 --> 00:01:48,448 The bad thing is no one else in the family... 34 00:01:48,517 --> 00:01:50,417 ever bothers to remember anything. 35 00:01:50,486 --> 00:01:52,511 Hey, Francis, you told me to remind you... 36 00:01:52,588 --> 00:01:54,453 about Mom and Dad's anniversary. 37 00:01:54,523 --> 00:01:56,423 Ah, great. When is it? 38 00:01:56,492 --> 00:01:57,254 Today. 39 00:01:57,326 --> 00:01:59,521 Dude, you're supposed to remind me before... 40 00:01:59,595 --> 00:02:01,290 so that I can get them something. 41 00:02:01,364 --> 00:02:03,832 That's okay. We'll put your name on their gift. 42 00:02:03,899 --> 00:02:05,867 Cool. Thanks. I owe you one. 43 00:02:05,935 --> 00:02:07,368 No. You owe me 20. 44 00:02:07,436 --> 00:02:09,301 That's what your share comes to. 45 00:02:09,372 --> 00:02:10,805 You got them an $80 gift? 46 00:02:10,873 --> 00:02:11,805 Uh... 47 00:02:11,874 --> 00:02:13,774 yeah. 48 00:02:22,218 --> 00:02:23,276 Oh, Craig. 49 00:02:23,352 --> 00:02:24,478 Happy anniversary. 50 00:02:24,553 --> 00:02:27,420 16 wonderful years to the same man. 51 00:02:27,490 --> 00:02:29,788 That Hal is one lucky hombre. 52 00:02:29,859 --> 00:02:31,019 You shouldn't have. 53 00:02:31,093 --> 00:02:32,025 Oh, please. 54 00:02:32,094 --> 00:02:34,790 A special gift for a special lady... 55 00:02:34,864 --> 00:02:36,331 on a special day. 56 00:02:36,399 --> 00:02:38,299 No. I mean, really, you shouldn't have. 57 00:02:38,367 --> 00:02:40,460 Aren't only husbands supposed to give gifts? 58 00:02:40,536 --> 00:02:42,834 Fine. Throw it in the trash, then. 59 00:02:42,905 --> 00:02:43,929 Ho-ho-hold on. 60 00:02:44,006 --> 00:02:46,031 Let's see what it is first. 61 00:02:46,108 --> 00:02:47,302 Oh, look at... 62 00:02:47,376 --> 00:02:50,038 - I've been meaning to try this color. - I know. 63 00:02:50,112 --> 00:02:51,909 I saw you eyeing it a couple weeks ago. 64 00:02:51,981 --> 00:02:53,573 I didn't know we carried this brand. 65 00:02:53,649 --> 00:02:54,581 We don't. 66 00:02:54,650 --> 00:02:56,242 So where did you see me...? 67 00:02:56,319 --> 00:02:57,411 So, big plans for tonight? 68 00:02:57,486 --> 00:03:00,046 What are you going to be wearing? 69 00:03:00,122 --> 00:03:02,716 Oh, it's going to be great. I have the most perfect red dress. 70 00:03:02,792 --> 00:03:04,350 Took me two months to save up for it, 71 00:03:04,427 --> 00:03:05,758 but it was worth it. 72 00:03:05,828 --> 00:03:09,992 Oh, I've been fantasizing about this night forever. 73 00:03:46,402 --> 00:03:47,630 Craig? 74 00:03:47,703 --> 00:03:49,864 Huh? Yeah, uh, say, Lois, 75 00:03:49,939 --> 00:03:50,997 you, uh, 76 00:03:51,073 --> 00:03:53,303 you want to catch a movie or something over lunch? 77 00:03:53,376 --> 00:03:56,311 They're playing My Best Friend's Wedding over in Electronics. 78 00:03:56,379 --> 00:03:58,506 - No, thanks. L... - Fine. Forget it. 79 00:03:58,581 --> 00:04:00,742 Oof. 80 00:04:02,118 --> 00:04:03,176 I'm okay. 81 00:04:05,054 --> 00:04:07,614 Are you boys almost finished wrapping our present? 82 00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:09,123 I have to meet your father... 83 00:04:09,191 --> 00:04:11,091 at the restaurant in ten minutes. 84 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:12,991 More paper. 85 00:04:13,062 --> 00:04:14,620 I get to do the bow. 86 00:04:14,697 --> 00:04:16,995 Why'd she give you the money to buy the gift? 87 00:04:17,066 --> 00:04:19,296 Because she didn't want another karate video. 88 00:04:19,368 --> 00:04:20,300 It's ka-ra-te. 89 00:04:20,369 --> 00:04:21,802 I get to do the bow. 90 00:04:21,871 --> 00:04:23,099 What did we get them anyway? 91 00:04:23,172 --> 00:04:24,104 Picture frame. 92 00:04:24,173 --> 00:04:25,105 Brownnoser. 93 00:04:25,174 --> 00:04:26,801 I get to do the bow. 94 00:04:26,876 --> 00:04:28,138 We're not finished yet. 95 00:04:28,210 --> 00:04:30,405 Yeah, but I get to do the bow. 96 00:04:53,836 --> 00:04:55,098 Finished. 97 00:04:55,171 --> 00:04:57,105 Finally. 98 00:04:57,173 --> 00:05:00,006 No! I was supposed to do the bow. 99 00:05:00,075 --> 00:05:01,303 You should have said something. 100 00:05:01,377 --> 00:05:02,309 I'm telling. 101 00:05:02,378 --> 00:05:04,869 Mom! 102 00:05:04,947 --> 00:05:06,881 No! 103 00:05:06,949 --> 00:05:09,042 Fire? 104 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:11,284 Fire? 105 00:05:11,353 --> 00:05:13,378 Fire?! 106 00:05:13,456 --> 00:05:14,388 Mom! What...? 107 00:05:14,457 --> 00:05:18,416 This is the most stupid, irresponsible, dangerous thing you have ever done. 108 00:05:18,494 --> 00:05:20,689 Is this what you want? 109 00:05:20,763 --> 00:05:22,890 Will we have to identify your charred little bodies... 110 00:05:22,965 --> 00:05:25,297 through their dental records? 111 00:05:25,367 --> 00:05:27,198 I want a straight answer. 112 00:05:27,269 --> 00:05:28,258 Who did this? 113 00:05:28,337 --> 00:05:29,269 Malcolm did it. 114 00:05:29,338 --> 00:05:30,270 Reese did it. 115 00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:32,273 - I didn't do it! - I didn't do it! 116 00:05:32,341 --> 00:05:35,174 We're going to the dentist? 117 00:05:36,412 --> 00:05:37,970 Who? 118 00:05:41,050 --> 00:05:42,483 I don't like that one anyway. 119 00:05:45,921 --> 00:05:47,650 No. No. Not that one. 120 00:05:49,225 --> 00:05:51,318 They turn me down They turn me down 121 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:53,293 They turn, they turn they turn, they turn 122 00:05:53,362 --> 00:05:54,989 They, they they, they, they... 123 00:05:55,064 --> 00:05:56,497 Who? 124 00:05:56,565 --> 00:05:57,896 It wasn't me. It was him. 125 00:05:57,967 --> 00:05:59,059 No, it was... 126 00:05:59,134 --> 00:06:00,726 Okay. Into the hallway. 127 00:06:00,803 --> 00:06:02,293 Think I'm going to puke. 128 00:06:02,371 --> 00:06:04,862 Yeah? Well, it's going to be the highlight of your evening, 129 00:06:04,940 --> 00:06:08,137 because nobody is going anywhere until one of you tells me who. 130 00:06:08,210 --> 00:06:09,142 Everything's all set up? 131 00:06:09,211 --> 00:06:10,508 I believe so, sir. 132 00:06:12,715 --> 00:06:14,205 Table seven? Chateau Brut '87? 133 00:06:14,283 --> 00:06:15,511 Hors d'oeuvres medley? 134 00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,211 Yes, sir. 135 00:06:18,354 --> 00:06:21,118 Oh, geez, one more thing. 136 00:06:21,190 --> 00:06:22,214 I almost forgot. 137 00:06:22,291 --> 00:06:23,690 Uh, my wife always orders lobster, 138 00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,590 so could you have the chef slip this... 139 00:06:25,661 --> 00:06:28,152 on the lobster's claw just before you serve it? 140 00:06:28,230 --> 00:06:31,290 She gets such a kick out of stuff like that. 141 00:06:31,367 --> 00:06:33,301 And so do I, for that matter. 142 00:06:33,369 --> 00:06:34,996 Not a problem, sir. 143 00:06:36,438 --> 00:06:38,633 The violinist has our song? 144 00:06:38,707 --> 00:06:40,766 He received the sheet music this morning. 145 00:06:40,843 --> 00:06:43,607 Good. Good, good, good, good. 146 00:06:43,679 --> 00:06:45,613 You would be surprised how many times I've heard... 147 00:06:45,681 --> 00:06:48,548 "Tears of a Clown" just butchered. 148 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:49,549 Tell her. 149 00:06:49,618 --> 00:06:51,108 You tell her. 150 00:06:51,186 --> 00:06:52,118 Who? 151 00:06:52,187 --> 00:06:53,677 - Malcolm! - Reese! 152 00:06:53,756 --> 00:06:55,280 Closer to the wall. 153 00:06:55,357 --> 00:06:57,348 Wait, Mom. Seriously. 154 00:06:57,426 --> 00:06:59,257 It reeks over here. 155 00:06:59,328 --> 00:07:00,556 I can't help it. 156 00:07:00,629 --> 00:07:03,598 Into the TV room. Let's go. 157 00:07:03,666 --> 00:07:07,898 Come on, come on 158 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:12,168 Come on, come on 159 00:07:12,241 --> 00:07:15,267 Come on, come on 160 00:07:15,344 --> 00:07:16,606 Come on... 161 00:07:16,679 --> 00:07:19,443 I'll give you five dollars if you tell Mom you did it. 162 00:07:19,515 --> 00:07:20,482 You tell her. 163 00:07:20,549 --> 00:07:22,176 You did it, 'cause I didn't do it. 164 00:07:22,251 --> 00:07:23,183 I really didn't. 165 00:07:23,252 --> 00:07:25,243 - What are you eating? - Nothing. 166 00:07:25,321 --> 00:07:27,653 Why don't you guys shut up so I can think of something? 167 00:07:27,723 --> 00:07:28,985 What's there to think of? 168 00:07:29,058 --> 00:07:30,548 There's nothing we can do. 169 00:07:30,626 --> 00:07:32,116 I've never seen Mom so mad. 170 00:07:32,194 --> 00:07:33,286 Me either. 171 00:07:33,362 --> 00:07:34,420 Reese is right. 172 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:35,861 We're out of our league. 173 00:07:35,931 --> 00:07:37,193 There's only one person... 174 00:07:37,266 --> 00:07:39,826 who ever had Mom this mad at them and survived. 175 00:07:41,403 --> 00:07:43,371 Hello. 176 00:07:45,439 --> 00:07:48,431 - She has your heads where? - Under the couch. 177 00:07:48,508 --> 00:07:50,476 All because Reese won't admit he did it. 178 00:07:50,544 --> 00:07:51,602 You admit it. 179 00:07:51,678 --> 00:07:52,474 I didn't do it. 180 00:07:52,546 --> 00:07:54,013 - Neither did I. - Liar. 181 00:07:54,081 --> 00:07:56,811 Chill. You are not going to get anywhere fighting with each other. 182 00:07:56,883 --> 00:07:58,942 First of all, you all burned the dress. 183 00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:00,008 I didn't. 184 00:08:00,087 --> 00:08:01,019 Hey, you all did it. 185 00:08:01,088 --> 00:08:02,282 You have to stay together. 186 00:08:02,356 --> 00:08:03,482 You have to stay united. 187 00:08:03,557 --> 00:08:04,922 United against who? 188 00:08:04,992 --> 00:08:05,686 My mom. 189 00:08:05,759 --> 00:08:07,351 Nice. 190 00:08:07,427 --> 00:08:10,328 No one broke so far, so you should be proud of yourselves. 191 00:08:10,397 --> 00:08:12,024 - Did she do the toy thing yet? - Yep. 192 00:08:12,099 --> 00:08:13,464 - Spinning? - Uh-uh. 193 00:08:13,533 --> 00:08:16,468 Okay. Good. I think I know where she's going. 194 00:08:16,536 --> 00:08:17,867 Separate interviews. 195 00:08:17,938 --> 00:08:19,997 Listen, when she gets you alone, 196 00:08:20,073 --> 00:08:22,837 she's going to pretend she's on your side. 197 00:08:22,909 --> 00:08:24,171 She's not. 198 00:08:24,244 --> 00:08:26,712 Go ahead. 199 00:08:26,780 --> 00:08:28,907 It's a name brand. 200 00:08:36,556 --> 00:08:37,921 I'm not mad at you. 201 00:08:37,991 --> 00:08:39,720 I know you didn't do this. 202 00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:40,919 You're a good boy. 203 00:08:40,994 --> 00:08:43,554 But I want you to help me find out who did. 204 00:08:43,630 --> 00:08:45,063 This is serious. 205 00:08:45,132 --> 00:08:47,896 One of your brothers could have burned the house down. 206 00:08:47,968 --> 00:08:50,664 And for that, he will be severely punished. 207 00:08:50,737 --> 00:08:54,264 But the one who helps me will be a very happy boy. 208 00:08:54,341 --> 00:08:56,935 And I want that to be you. 209 00:08:57,010 --> 00:09:00,377 'Cause you've always been the best one. 210 00:09:00,447 --> 00:09:02,210 You've always been the best one. 211 00:09:02,282 --> 00:09:05,479 You have always been the best one. 212 00:09:05,552 --> 00:09:07,986 Mom, honestly, I don't know who did it. 213 00:09:08,055 --> 00:09:08,987 I don't know. 214 00:09:09,056 --> 00:09:09,886 Don't know. 215 00:09:12,159 --> 00:09:14,286 Well, I guess you boys think... 216 00:09:14,361 --> 00:09:16,761 you've got your old mom over a barrel, huh? 217 00:09:16,830 --> 00:09:18,661 Well, we'll just see about that. 218 00:09:18,732 --> 00:09:22,862 If you boys want to play, 219 00:09:22,936 --> 00:09:26,838 we can play all night long. 220 00:09:55,034 --> 00:09:56,160 Sir? 221 00:09:56,236 --> 00:09:57,168 Hmm? Oh. 222 00:09:57,237 --> 00:09:59,000 Thank you. Thank you. 223 00:09:59,072 --> 00:10:01,506 Oh, can I have another vodka martini, please? 224 00:10:01,574 --> 00:10:02,768 Very good. 225 00:10:02,842 --> 00:10:05,640 This time, let's go olive, onion, olive. 226 00:10:05,712 --> 00:10:06,679 Whatever. 227 00:10:15,622 --> 00:10:17,556 W-What's that? I can't hear you. 228 00:10:17,624 --> 00:10:19,615 She's killing us! 229 00:10:21,427 --> 00:10:24,396 ♪ Nice is good, mean is bad ♪ 230 00:10:24,464 --> 00:10:27,365 Don't be mean 'cause mean is bad 231 00:10:27,433 --> 00:10:29,560 Nice is better than mean 232 00:10:29,636 --> 00:10:32,469 Hugs are good, thugs are bad 233 00:10:32,538 --> 00:10:36,099 Why does she have to ruin everything I love? 234 00:10:36,175 --> 00:10:38,666 Francis, I'm just going to tell her I did it. 235 00:10:38,745 --> 00:10:41,737 I know it wasn't me, but anything is better than this. 236 00:10:41,814 --> 00:10:43,543 - Oh, go... - ** 237 00:10:43,616 --> 00:10:44,810 That's bad. 238 00:10:44,884 --> 00:10:47,148 They tried that psych-ops stuff on Noriega. 239 00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:50,553 They said that by the end he wanted to cut his own ears off. 240 00:10:50,623 --> 00:10:52,352 Malcolm, you cannot crack now. 241 00:10:52,425 --> 00:10:54,893 She will own you for the rest of your life. 242 00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:56,519 Now, listen to me, Malcolm. 243 00:10:56,596 --> 00:10:58,621 You have to do exactly what I say. 244 00:10:58,698 --> 00:11:01,030 Nice is good, mean is bad 245 00:11:01,100 --> 00:11:03,762 Don't be mean 'cause mean is bad 246 00:11:03,836 --> 00:11:05,895 Nice is better than mean 247 00:11:05,972 --> 00:11:06,904 Hugs are good 248 00:11:06,973 --> 00:11:08,907 Thugs are bad 249 00:11:08,975 --> 00:11:11,671 ♪ Don't be a thug 'cause thugs are bad ♪ 250 00:11:11,744 --> 00:11:14,508 Hugs are better than thugs 251 00:11:14,580 --> 00:11:16,172 - Smart is good... - Did you see that? 252 00:11:16,249 --> 00:11:18,183 - Hooray! - Francis is a genius! 253 00:11:18,251 --> 00:11:20,344 Come on! Sing louder! 254 00:11:20,420 --> 00:11:22,980 ♪ Nice is good, mean is bad ♪ 255 00:11:23,056 --> 00:11:25,490 ♪ Don't be mean 'cause mean is bad ♪ 256 00:11:25,558 --> 00:11:27,116 ♪ Nice is better than... ♪ 257 00:11:27,193 --> 00:11:28,785 Oh, your grandmother and all your friends... 258 00:11:28,861 --> 00:11:31,659 are just going to love this at your next birthday party. 259 00:11:33,132 --> 00:11:34,099 You're kidding me. 260 00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:35,531 Okay, just hang in there. 261 00:11:35,601 --> 00:11:37,034 Give me a minute to think. 262 00:11:37,103 --> 00:11:38,536 Damn, she's good. 263 00:11:38,604 --> 00:11:39,901 Did they crack? 264 00:11:39,972 --> 00:11:41,564 Nah, Dewey faked a stomach cramp. 265 00:11:41,641 --> 00:11:42,665 Bought them some time. 266 00:11:42,742 --> 00:11:43,902 Good man. 267 00:11:43,976 --> 00:11:46,308 Man, if we would have had your mom in 'Nam, 268 00:11:46,379 --> 00:11:49,041 there'd be a McDonald's in Hanoi Square right now. 269 00:11:49,115 --> 00:11:51,549 Dude, there is a McDonald's in Hanoi Square. 270 00:11:51,617 --> 00:11:53,710 All right. 271 00:12:00,226 --> 00:12:02,057 Franklin, I'm ready to order. 272 00:12:02,128 --> 00:12:03,322 Are you sure, sir? 273 00:12:03,396 --> 00:12:06,229 Mm-hmm. You see, in our family we have a saying. 274 00:12:06,298 --> 00:12:08,163 "After an hour, eat without her. 275 00:12:08,234 --> 00:12:10,668 If it's any longer, something's wronger." 276 00:12:10,736 --> 00:12:12,135 Very catchy, sir. 277 00:12:12,204 --> 00:12:16,140 Well, when life gives you lemons make lemonade, Franklin. 278 00:12:16,208 --> 00:12:17,937 Do you have any lemonade? 279 00:12:18,010 --> 00:12:18,942 No, sir. 280 00:12:19,011 --> 00:12:20,308 Oh. Do you have lemons? 281 00:12:20,379 --> 00:12:21,676 Yes, sir. 282 00:12:21,747 --> 00:12:25,308 Well, throw one in another martini and let's hear those specials. 283 00:12:29,655 --> 00:12:31,555 What's she doing? 284 00:12:31,624 --> 00:12:32,852 Can't tell. 285 00:12:32,925 --> 00:12:33,857 Maybe she left. 286 00:12:33,926 --> 00:12:36,861 Yeah, I'm sure she's gone out to buy us all presents. 287 00:12:36,929 --> 00:12:38,021 Hooray. 288 00:12:38,097 --> 00:12:40,292 It's just too quiet out there. 289 00:12:40,366 --> 00:12:41,993 It's driving me crazy. 290 00:12:42,068 --> 00:12:44,366 Maybe we should sing some more. 291 00:12:44,437 --> 00:12:45,734 Shut up, Dewey. 292 00:12:55,114 --> 00:12:57,844 I wonder how many holes are up in those tiles. 293 00:12:57,917 --> 00:13:00,044 186,480. 294 00:13:00,119 --> 00:13:02,553 You counted all those? 295 00:13:02,621 --> 00:13:06,057 No, you just count one tile's holes across and down. 296 00:13:06,125 --> 00:13:09,288 Multiply it, then multiply it again by the number of tiles. 297 00:13:11,831 --> 00:13:14,129 You're doing that more and more. 298 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,132 Doing what? 299 00:13:15,201 --> 00:13:16,634 That brain thing. 300 00:13:16,702 --> 00:13:20,433 Are you just going to keep getting smarter and weirder? 301 00:13:20,506 --> 00:13:21,803 I don't know. 302 00:13:21,874 --> 00:13:24,399 Well, can you tone it down a little bit? 303 00:13:24,477 --> 00:13:26,536 'Cause I can't keep up with all these butt-kickings. 304 00:13:26,612 --> 00:13:28,443 What are you talking about? 305 00:13:28,514 --> 00:13:31,278 Well, at least twice a day I have to whoop-ass... 306 00:13:31,350 --> 00:13:33,284 on some kid calling you a weirdo. 307 00:13:33,352 --> 00:13:34,944 Honestly, it's exhausting. 308 00:13:35,020 --> 00:13:37,989 You beat up people 'cause they call me a weirdo? 309 00:13:38,057 --> 00:13:40,048 The last kid, he was a freak anyways. 310 00:13:40,126 --> 00:13:42,492 He was in no position to throw out names. 311 00:13:43,796 --> 00:13:44,592 Thanks. 312 00:13:44,663 --> 00:13:46,062 For what? 313 00:13:46,132 --> 00:13:49,101 Nothing. 314 00:13:51,704 --> 00:13:52,898 Hey. 315 00:13:52,972 --> 00:13:54,769 What am I thinking right now? 316 00:13:54,840 --> 00:13:56,831 I'm smart. I'm not psychic. 317 00:13:56,909 --> 00:13:59,969 Can you understand what dogs are saying? 318 00:14:00,045 --> 00:14:01,103 No. 319 00:14:01,180 --> 00:14:02,238 I can. 320 00:14:02,314 --> 00:14:03,372 Oh, boys 321 00:14:10,790 --> 00:14:14,453 I don't know who put you up to this sticking-together garbage, 322 00:14:14,527 --> 00:14:15,994 but I don't like it. 323 00:14:16,061 --> 00:14:19,121 Therefore, you have forced me to do something terrible. 324 00:14:20,099 --> 00:14:22,533 Say good-bye to a cherished family member. 325 00:14:23,702 --> 00:14:25,693 Who? 326 00:14:25,771 --> 00:14:27,136 No! 327 00:14:30,208 --> 00:14:32,073 - Mom, no! - Uh-uh-uh. 328 00:14:32,143 --> 00:14:33,269 Don't you dare. 329 00:14:35,747 --> 00:14:37,977 And don't move a muscle. 330 00:14:42,854 --> 00:14:43,912 Hi, Lois. 331 00:14:43,988 --> 00:14:45,250 Look, Ed, uh, it's 9:00. 332 00:14:45,323 --> 00:14:46,847 I'm a little busy right now. 333 00:14:46,925 --> 00:14:48,256 You see, there is the problem. 334 00:14:48,326 --> 00:14:50,590 It's 9:00 at night and I keep hearing screaming. 335 00:14:50,662 --> 00:14:53,096 Now this didn't sound like your normal screaming. 336 00:14:53,164 --> 00:14:54,961 It was more like killing screaming. 337 00:14:55,033 --> 00:14:56,398 I'm not one to complain... 338 00:14:56,467 --> 00:14:57,593 That's why we like you. 339 00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:10,411 In your room now. 340 00:15:16,152 --> 00:15:17,744 Nice place you got here. 341 00:15:17,821 --> 00:15:18,947 Thank you, sir. 342 00:15:19,022 --> 00:15:21,718 I like to, uh, create an atmosphere. 343 00:15:21,791 --> 00:15:23,986 Did you enjoy your meal, sir? 344 00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:26,585 Well... if you can call four olives, two onions... 345 00:15:26,663 --> 00:15:28,460 and a whole lot of alcohol a meal, 346 00:15:28,531 --> 00:15:29,793 then, yes. 347 00:15:29,866 --> 00:15:31,458 Very good, sir. 348 00:15:32,569 --> 00:15:33,695 Uh... 349 00:15:33,770 --> 00:15:35,897 what have you got in the cologne department? 350 00:15:35,972 --> 00:15:38,566 Um, were you looking for anything in particular? 351 00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:41,337 Well, I've been thinking about a signature scent. 352 00:15:41,411 --> 00:15:44,346 You see, I'd like to leave a room and have people say, 353 00:15:44,414 --> 00:15:46,211 "Boy, it smells like Hal in here" 354 00:15:46,282 --> 00:15:47,510 but... 355 00:15:47,584 --> 00:15:48,243 in a nice way. 356 00:15:48,318 --> 00:15:49,376 Right. Yeah. 357 00:15:49,452 --> 00:15:52,012 Uh, let's see... you... 358 00:15:52,088 --> 00:15:54,454 you strike me as a... 359 00:15:54,524 --> 00:15:55,752 sandalwood. 360 00:15:55,825 --> 00:15:56,917 Sandalwood, huh? 361 00:15:56,993 --> 00:15:58,085 Sandalwood. 362 00:15:58,161 --> 00:16:00,186 Let's give it a smell-see, shall we? 363 00:16:00,263 --> 00:16:03,255 Huh? 364 00:16:03,333 --> 00:16:04,459 Yes. 365 00:16:04,534 --> 00:16:05,796 That's quite nice. 366 00:16:05,869 --> 00:16:06,801 Hit me. 367 00:16:06,870 --> 00:16:08,735 Here we go. 368 00:16:08,805 --> 00:16:11,899 Oh, that's... that is quite nice. 369 00:16:11,975 --> 00:16:12,964 Ooh! 370 00:16:13,042 --> 00:16:14,634 You do a service to your craft, sir. 371 00:16:14,711 --> 00:16:16,838 This man is a genius. 372 00:16:20,450 --> 00:16:21,781 Snooty bastard. 373 00:16:21,851 --> 00:16:24,786 You'd think this place would be the great equalizer, huh? 374 00:16:24,854 --> 00:16:27,584 You know, even a king looks like a fool... 375 00:16:27,657 --> 00:16:29,318 when he's answering nature's call. 376 00:16:29,392 --> 00:16:30,791 Am I right? Of course I'm right. 377 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,054 Well. 378 00:16:32,128 --> 00:16:33,322 It's been a pleasure. 379 00:16:34,964 --> 00:16:36,397 Oh. 380 00:16:36,466 --> 00:16:38,400 Sorry. 381 00:16:38,468 --> 00:16:39,492 Have a good evening. 382 00:16:40,570 --> 00:16:41,696 Uh, sir. 383 00:16:41,771 --> 00:16:43,568 Yes. 384 00:16:46,409 --> 00:16:48,707 Thank you for making eye contact with me. 385 00:16:51,848 --> 00:16:55,011 Boys, I just, I don't know what to do anymore. 386 00:16:55,084 --> 00:16:57,211 I don't want to punish anyone. 387 00:16:57,287 --> 00:16:58,948 All I want is the truth. 388 00:16:59,022 --> 00:17:03,459 I don't know how things got this far, but I just want it to stop. 389 00:17:05,562 --> 00:17:07,291 Naw, they'll never buy it. 390 00:17:21,878 --> 00:17:23,140 Oh, my God. Hal. 391 00:17:26,382 --> 00:17:27,542 They saved the TV. 392 00:17:27,617 --> 00:17:28,914 All right! Yeah! Yeah! 393 00:17:28,985 --> 00:17:31,078 Beautiful work. Beautiful. 394 00:17:31,154 --> 00:17:32,951 You have her exactly where you want her... 395 00:17:33,022 --> 00:17:34,011 totally crazy. 396 00:17:34,090 --> 00:17:35,614 Now it's time to take the offensive. 397 00:17:35,692 --> 00:17:36,920 The offensive? 398 00:17:36,993 --> 00:17:38,358 Exactly. She won't... 399 00:17:38,428 --> 00:17:39,622 Wait a minute. 400 00:17:39,696 --> 00:17:41,129 Did you hear breathing? 401 00:17:41,197 --> 00:17:41,959 What? 402 00:17:43,833 --> 00:17:44,891 Mom? 403 00:17:53,042 --> 00:17:53,974 Malcolm. 404 00:17:54,043 --> 00:17:57,274 Would you hang up the phone, please? 405 00:17:57,347 --> 00:17:58,405 Hi, Mom. 406 00:17:58,481 --> 00:17:59,607 Happy anniversary. 407 00:17:59,682 --> 00:18:00,910 Not good! Not good! 408 00:18:00,984 --> 00:18:02,178 What is it? What? 409 00:18:02,252 --> 00:18:03,310 Mom! Phone! 410 00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,910 Oh! Oh, man. Oh, man. 411 00:18:04,988 --> 00:18:06,182 We're gonna die! 412 00:18:06,256 --> 00:18:07,280 That's it. 413 00:18:07,357 --> 00:18:08,289 I got to run away. 414 00:18:08,358 --> 00:18:09,290 Wait! 415 00:18:09,359 --> 00:18:10,383 We can get out of this. 416 00:18:10,460 --> 00:18:12,087 You have to use that brain of yours. 417 00:18:12,161 --> 00:18:13,093 Think. 418 00:18:13,162 --> 00:18:14,094 Think! 419 00:18:14,163 --> 00:18:17,496 All I can think about is how hard he's twisting my nipple. 420 00:18:17,567 --> 00:18:18,864 Ow! 421 00:18:18,935 --> 00:18:20,197 Okay. 422 00:18:20,270 --> 00:18:21,669 Think. Think. 423 00:18:22,939 --> 00:18:23,997 I got it. 424 00:18:34,584 --> 00:18:36,142 Oh. Mmm. Here it is. 425 00:18:36,219 --> 00:18:37,481 That's our song. 426 00:18:37,554 --> 00:18:40,022 Not our song. 427 00:18:40,089 --> 00:18:41,488 Can I have...? 428 00:18:41,558 --> 00:18:43,185 Another one... 429 00:18:43,727 --> 00:18:45,752 I cannot believe you, Francis. 430 00:18:45,829 --> 00:18:48,923 You think you are so clever turning them against me, don't you? 431 00:18:48,999 --> 00:18:50,626 No, Mom. 432 00:18:50,701 --> 00:18:52,862 We did not send you to Marlin Academy so that you can undermine... 433 00:18:52,937 --> 00:18:54,131 my authority long-distance. 434 00:18:54,204 --> 00:18:56,365 Why did you send me? 435 00:18:56,440 --> 00:18:58,670 Well, it was not so that you could undermine my authority. 436 00:18:58,742 --> 00:19:02,041 And if I am not mistaken, you are undermining my authority. 437 00:19:02,112 --> 00:19:03,238 What are you doing? 438 00:19:03,314 --> 00:19:06,181 Spending your anniversary at home fixating on a stupid dress. 439 00:19:06,250 --> 00:19:07,615 Is that what you wanted to do tonight? 440 00:19:07,685 --> 00:19:09,676 What am I supposed to do, Francis? Let it go? 441 00:19:09,753 --> 00:19:12,278 Yes. That is exactly what you should do... let it go. 442 00:19:12,356 --> 00:19:15,052 But you can't, 'cause you can never let anything go. 443 00:19:15,125 --> 00:19:18,822 I can, too, let things go. 444 00:19:18,896 --> 00:19:20,022 - Fine. - I can. 445 00:19:20,097 --> 00:19:21,564 - Fine. - I can! 446 00:19:21,632 --> 00:19:22,997 Okay. Forget I said anything. 447 00:19:26,270 --> 00:19:27,760 I cannot talk to you anymore. 448 00:19:27,838 --> 00:19:29,066 Ooh, you make me so mad. 449 00:19:29,139 --> 00:19:31,198 Sometimes I just want to break your neck. 450 00:19:31,275 --> 00:19:33,004 Did you get the cookies I sent you? 451 00:19:33,077 --> 00:19:34,305 Yeah, they were great. 452 00:19:34,378 --> 00:19:36,039 Good. 453 00:19:49,727 --> 00:19:54,027 I swear to God, on paper, this was a great idea. 454 00:19:57,968 --> 00:19:59,162 All right, that's it. 455 00:19:59,236 --> 00:20:01,329 Get dressed... we're going to dinner. 456 00:20:01,405 --> 00:20:03,930 Oh, my God, it did work. 457 00:20:04,008 --> 00:20:05,339 What? 458 00:20:05,409 --> 00:20:07,536 Dinner. I won't have you boys starving to death. 459 00:20:07,611 --> 00:20:10,603 The last thing I need is a bunch of social workers and reporters... 460 00:20:10,681 --> 00:20:11,875 tearing up the front lawn. 461 00:20:11,949 --> 00:20:13,974 Now, hurry up before I change my mind. 462 00:20:14,051 --> 00:20:15,245 What about the dress? 463 00:20:16,320 --> 00:20:18,481 I really liked that dress. 464 00:20:29,133 --> 00:20:31,693 Hey, thanks for the ride, Tony. 465 00:20:31,769 --> 00:20:34,602 Any time, Hal! 466 00:20:34,672 --> 00:20:36,503 Hello! 467 00:20:38,342 --> 00:20:39,604 Honey? 468 00:20:41,011 --> 00:20:42,273 Boys? 469 00:20:42,346 --> 00:20:44,075 Anybody home? 470 00:20:45,249 --> 00:20:46,511 Hotcha! 471 00:20:47,985 --> 00:20:50,852 This evening just keeps getting better and better. 472 00:21:05,402 --> 00:21:06,460 Hmm. 473 00:21:21,752 --> 00:21:22,980 Oh! No. 474 00:21:23,053 --> 00:21:26,352 Okay. Oh. Jeezle. 475 00:21:26,423 --> 00:21:28,357 Not again. 31497

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