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1
00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:03,003
(Dynamic music)
2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,588
♪
3
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:15,098
(Text on screen)
4
00:00:23,397 --> 00:00:25,148
(tender music plays)
5
00:00:25,149 --> 00:00:26,693
- Am I six feet, yet?
6
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:29,111
- Hate to break it to you, babe,
you may never be six feet.
7
00:00:29,236 --> 00:00:31,614
- Then I'll be seven feet tall
and live in a giant house,
8
00:00:31,739 --> 00:00:34,868
and if you get too close,
I'll throw a horse at you.
9
00:00:35,743 --> 00:00:36,993
- Okay.
- Yeah.
10
00:00:36,994 --> 00:00:38,537
- Come on, buddy,
you're up next.
11
00:00:38,662 --> 00:00:40,663
All right, head back.
Take these guys off.
12
00:00:40,664 --> 00:00:42,833
- Hey, leave it.
You'll wreck my hair.
13
00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:45,085
- Get your head back.
(Felix): Hey.
14
00:00:45,210 --> 00:00:47,546
(laughing)
15
00:00:47,671 --> 00:00:50,173
(Astrid): Parents love to keep
track of their kids' growth.
16
00:00:50,174 --> 00:00:51,340
We measure them.
17
00:00:51,341 --> 00:00:52,885
(James): We learn
about percentiles,
18
00:00:52,886 --> 00:00:55,137
like they might be
the 30th percentile for height,
19
00:00:55,262 --> 00:00:57,432
but the 90th percentile
for head size.
20
00:00:57,557 --> 00:00:59,016
(Astrid): You're describing
a bobblehead.
21
00:00:59,017 --> 00:01:00,349
(James): But there's
no growth chart
22
00:01:00,350 --> 00:01:01,728
for being a well-rounded human.
23
00:01:01,853 --> 00:01:03,853
(Astrid): So, it's your job
to help them develop
24
00:01:03,854 --> 00:01:07,316
skills and hobbies
so they're not totally boring.
25
00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:08,777
- You guys should measure
yourselves, too.
26
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:10,860
- Oh, we stopped growing
a long time ago, pal.
27
00:01:10,861 --> 00:01:12,280
Soon we're gonna
start shrinking.
28
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,197
Our spines will compress,
we'll probably get osteoporosis
29
00:01:14,198 --> 00:01:15,617
from not doing enough
weight-bearing exercises.
30
00:01:15,742 --> 00:01:17,576
- Oh, now I remember why
we stopped measuring our kids.
31
00:01:17,701 --> 00:01:18,745
It's depressing.
32
00:01:18,870 --> 00:01:21,164
- Did you guys stop
when Morris was born?
33
00:01:24,209 --> 00:01:25,876
- We never measured Morris.
34
00:01:26,835 --> 00:01:30,340
- Okay, well, he was
all these heights at some point.
35
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,674
- This is...
- Yeah.
36
00:01:32,801 --> 00:01:33,884
- ...smart.
37
00:01:33,885 --> 00:01:35,929
(theme music)
38
00:01:43,269 --> 00:01:44,646
(school bell ringing)
39
00:01:44,771 --> 00:01:47,105
(Miss Wu): Thank you for taking
time off work to come and chat.
40
00:01:47,231 --> 00:01:49,025
I've been putting notes
in our communications folder
41
00:01:49,150 --> 00:01:51,653
for weeks. Are you um,
are you getting those?
42
00:01:51,778 --> 00:01:53,822
- Oh, Viv must have
lost the folder.
43
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:54,989
She can be forgetful.
44
00:01:55,114 --> 00:01:56,156
- Which is why you signed up
45
00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:57,783
for the school's
electronic folder system.
46
00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,119
- We can be forgetful, too.
- Yeah, found it.
47
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:02,287
We were supposed to bring
rice crispy squares
48
00:02:02,412 --> 00:02:04,373
to the fall fair.
- Ooh.
49
00:02:04,498 --> 00:02:05,792
(James): Lot of notes
to catch up on.
50
00:02:05,917 --> 00:02:07,293
- I wanna talk about
Viv's reading,
51
00:02:07,418 --> 00:02:11,506
uh, specifically about how
she's... not really doing it.
52
00:02:11,631 --> 00:02:14,257
- Well, um, okay.
53
00:02:14,258 --> 00:02:18,721
Well, kids with ADHD
can struggle with reading, so.
54
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,764
I'm sorry, should we be worried?
- No, no.
55
00:02:21,765 --> 00:02:24,060
I just wanted to raise a flag
and work with you
56
00:02:24,185 --> 00:02:28,021
to get Viv excited about books.
It's no big D.
57
00:02:28,146 --> 00:02:29,983
- Right, hear that, James?
No big D.
58
00:02:30,108 --> 00:02:33,276
- I think we'll decide
how big a D it is, thank you.
59
00:02:33,277 --> 00:02:35,486
- Well, lots of kids struggle
at this age.
60
00:02:35,487 --> 00:02:37,823
Mostly boys,
but it's totally normal.
61
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,741
We just don't want Viv
to fall behind.
62
00:02:39,867 --> 00:02:41,785
- Okay, well,
girls have the right
63
00:02:41,786 --> 00:02:43,079
to be behind in reading, too.
64
00:02:43,204 --> 00:02:45,454
- Of course, that was just
a little observation.
65
00:02:45,455 --> 00:02:47,167
Again, no big D.
66
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:48,333
- Okay, well, I'll tell you
67
00:02:48,334 --> 00:02:50,001
what's starting
to become a big D for me.
68
00:02:50,002 --> 00:02:51,670
- Yeah, what can we do
to help Viv?
69
00:02:51,795 --> 00:02:53,005
- Well, we track
the student's progress
70
00:02:53,006 --> 00:02:54,840
through the Mr. Brown series
of primary books.
71
00:02:54,841 --> 00:02:56,966
But Viv's only read
the first one.
72
00:02:56,967 --> 00:02:58,677
- Okay, well...
(school bell ringing)
73
00:02:58,802 --> 00:03:00,430
- Oh, that's for
all the students.
74
00:03:00,555 --> 00:03:01,972
- Thank you for bringing it
to our attention.
75
00:03:01,973 --> 00:03:04,725
(Miss Wu): Of course.
- Which you did four months ago.
76
00:03:04,850 --> 00:03:06,227
- It's our only copy.
77
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:07,687
- We need to get Viv a tutor.
78
00:03:07,812 --> 00:03:08,937
- We don't.
- Yes, we do.
79
00:03:09,062 --> 00:03:10,397
- The teacher was just
raising a flag.
80
00:03:10,522 --> 00:03:11,982
- You know who else
raises flags? Pirates.
81
00:03:11,983 --> 00:03:15,110
They raise flags of death.
- Oh, free association Astrid
82
00:03:15,235 --> 00:03:16,694
is the most difficult Astrid
to talk to.
83
00:03:16,695 --> 00:03:19,198
- You know who else talks?
Teachers in private schools.
84
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:21,490
Private schools
with better ADHD support.
85
00:03:21,491 --> 00:03:23,036
And a personal horse
86
00:03:23,161 --> 00:03:25,537
that acts as both gym equipment
and a reading buddy.
87
00:03:25,538 --> 00:03:26,872
- She does not need
a reading horse.
88
00:03:26,997 --> 00:03:28,625
We are her reading horse.
89
00:03:28,750 --> 00:03:31,085
- Viv isn't reading.
Felix quit baseball.
90
00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,294
Morris barely talks.
91
00:03:32,419 --> 00:03:34,545
James, our kids
have stopped developing.
92
00:03:34,546 --> 00:03:37,049
Do you know who else
has stopped developing, James?
93
00:03:37,050 --> 00:03:38,467
- Oh, boy.
- Dinosaurs.
94
00:03:38,592 --> 00:03:40,052
- Okay, look,
Morris gets a pass.
95
00:03:40,177 --> 00:03:41,887
Felix, yeah,
you're right about that,
96
00:03:41,888 --> 00:03:43,888
he needs to do something.
He needs a hobby real bad.
97
00:03:43,889 --> 00:03:45,223
- Oh, okay, maybe Felix's hobby
98
00:03:45,349 --> 00:03:46,725
could be helping Viv
with her reading.
99
00:03:46,850 --> 00:03:48,561
- That hobby
is called parenting.
100
00:03:48,686 --> 00:03:50,728
- You know what else
is called parenting?
101
00:03:50,729 --> 00:03:53,065
What we're about
to do right now.
102
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,360
(rhythmic music)
103
00:03:58,487 --> 00:04:01,198
- Mr. Brown...
104
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:06,996
has a li... it... tle...
105
00:04:08,038 --> 00:04:10,414
- A little...
- Purple?
106
00:04:10,415 --> 00:04:12,460
I found a purple flower
at school.
107
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:13,918
Wanna know what it's called?
108
00:04:13,919 --> 00:04:15,419
- No, Viv, let's,
let's focus on the book.
109
00:04:15,420 --> 00:04:18,632
We're almost done.
We're on page... 2.
110
00:04:18,757 --> 00:04:21,009
- Can we get a dog
like Mr. Brown?
111
00:04:21,134 --> 00:04:23,261
- No, but we can read
about Mr. Brown's
112
00:04:23,262 --> 00:04:27,100
little pup, pup... Ah.
113
00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:29,017
- Guess what song this is?
114
00:04:29,142 --> 00:04:31,687
(clapping rhythmically)
115
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:36,733
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
116
00:04:37,694 --> 00:04:41,029
- Um, are you embarrassed
about your reading?
117
00:04:41,154 --> 00:04:45,492
- No. This book is so boring-uh.
118
00:04:45,617 --> 00:04:47,620
- Okay. Well,
why don't we find you
119
00:04:47,745 --> 00:04:49,163
something more exciting to read?
120
00:04:49,288 --> 00:04:52,000
- Well, I wanna read
books about...
121
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,709
(clapping)
122
00:04:54,293 --> 00:04:56,460
- Gonna have to use
your words, babe.
123
00:04:56,461 --> 00:04:58,005
- Ad-ven-ture.
124
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,341
- Okay, well, in that case,
we will find you
125
00:05:00,466 --> 00:05:02,677
the best adventure books
in the whole world.
126
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:05,178
'Til then,
I think you need to...
127
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:06,638
(clapping)
128
00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,431
- Eat my farts.
129
00:05:08,432 --> 00:05:12,311
- Wrong! Go to bed.
130
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:15,147
- Pretty sure it was
eat my farts.
131
00:05:15,148 --> 00:05:18,151
- No, I think
it's off to bed, kiddo.
132
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:22,362
(blows fart noise)
133
00:05:22,487 --> 00:05:23,822
(fake chomp)
134
00:05:24,990 --> 00:05:26,492
(indistinct chatter)
135
00:05:26,617 --> 00:05:29,161
- Gentlemen,
Gero's new president
136
00:05:29,286 --> 00:05:30,953
wants GoBo to change its logo.
137
00:05:30,954 --> 00:05:33,708
- Uh-oh, sounds
like we got a logo no-go.
138
00:05:33,833 --> 00:05:35,709
Let's have fun today.
- No.
139
00:05:35,834 --> 00:05:37,670
Now, I've narrowed down
the top 100
140
00:05:37,795 --> 00:05:39,503
design submissions to 15.
141
00:05:39,504 --> 00:05:41,882
I need you to choose
the top three.
142
00:05:42,007 --> 00:05:43,384
(James): Why do we have
to change the logo?
143
00:05:43,509 --> 00:05:45,177
- Oh, in my experience,
new leaders
144
00:05:45,302 --> 00:05:47,179
like to make arbitrary
changes to flex.
145
00:05:47,180 --> 00:05:48,347
Makes for a lot
of pointless work.
146
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,474
- Yeah, presidents
don't know anything.
147
00:05:50,475 --> 00:05:52,309
Hey.
- This one started work
148
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:54,687
at age ten.
That's how you get ahead.
149
00:05:54,812 --> 00:05:56,230
- It's also child labour.
150
00:05:56,355 --> 00:05:58,274
- Here, let me look
at these. No.
151
00:05:58,399 --> 00:05:59,776
- Yeah, I agree.
- Yeah, maybe pile.
152
00:05:59,901 --> 00:06:01,944
- That's like a Robocop.
- Hi!
153
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:03,695
- Hi.
154
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,031
- GoBo is going to start
giving back.
155
00:06:06,156 --> 00:06:08,533
We will help develop
future leaders
156
00:06:08,658 --> 00:06:10,702
by hiring an intern today.
157
00:06:10,827 --> 00:06:14,665
I've carefully selected
Corey for the job.
158
00:06:15,583 --> 00:06:16,959
- Yeah, sure, cool, whatever.
159
00:06:17,084 --> 00:06:18,876
- Oh, so you're okay
with child labour
160
00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:20,420
as long as it benefits you.
161
00:06:20,545 --> 00:06:23,672
- This will not benefit me.
- I look forward to learning.
162
00:06:23,673 --> 00:06:25,383
- Uh, okay,
I got a lesson for you.
163
00:06:25,384 --> 00:06:28,553
Get me a coffee.
- Pour over or French press?
164
00:06:29,596 --> 00:06:31,139
- Uh, surprise me.
165
00:06:32,266 --> 00:06:35,560
Hmm, wow. Kid's got potential.
166
00:06:36,312 --> 00:06:37,895
(Viv): Is there bubble tea
where we're going?
167
00:06:37,896 --> 00:06:40,149
- We're going to the park
to see Morris and your mom.
168
00:06:40,274 --> 00:06:42,025
- Pretend I have
a sprained ankle, okay?
169
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:43,402
- Okay.
(Viv grunts)
170
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:45,028
Ooh, good limpin'!
171
00:06:47,197 --> 00:06:50,117
Hey, you know,
I saw a poster at your school
172
00:06:50,242 --> 00:06:52,535
that said they were having
pickleball club at recess.
173
00:06:52,536 --> 00:06:55,163
You know, that's the fastest
growing sport in the world.
174
00:06:55,288 --> 00:06:59,127
- I'm busy at recess.
- Okay. What, doing what?
175
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:00,919
- Me and my friends
hang out in the field
176
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:04,132
and listen to podcasts.
- Oof, my God.
177
00:07:04,257 --> 00:07:05,507
- What?
- Well...
178
00:07:05,632 --> 00:07:07,258
- They're educational.
- But...
179
00:07:07,259 --> 00:07:09,470
- How many kids my age
know what a VCR is?
180
00:07:09,595 --> 00:07:10,971
- But you're not doing anything.
181
00:07:11,096 --> 00:07:13,807
You need like a physical
or creative outlet.
182
00:07:13,932 --> 00:07:15,600
(Viv): Can I have these, please?
183
00:07:15,725 --> 00:07:18,812
- Uh... I don't know.
What does that say?
184
00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:21,815
(Viv): Take these?
- No, it says, "free stuff."
185
00:07:21,940 --> 00:07:23,776
So, yes, you can have that.
- Yes!
186
00:07:23,901 --> 00:07:26,570
- Ooh. Ooh, you gotta get
in here, Felix.
187
00:07:26,571 --> 00:07:29,281
Some pretty sweet goods.
Look at this. Rubik's Cube.
188
00:07:29,406 --> 00:07:30,614
You ever seen one of these?
189
00:07:30,615 --> 00:07:32,784
You know, I used to play
with these when I was a kid.
190
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:35,619
Taught me problem solving skills
I still use to this day.
191
00:07:35,620 --> 00:07:37,874
- No, I don't have any problems, so.
192
00:07:38,665 --> 00:07:40,624
- Okay. Um...
193
00:07:40,625 --> 00:07:43,795
Hey, look at this.
You love drawing.
194
00:07:44,254 --> 00:07:46,132
Oh, my, look at that, man.
195
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:49,050
It's not even used.
What do you say?
196
00:07:49,968 --> 00:07:52,012
You can draw while
you listen to podcasts.
197
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:53,723
- Okay, sure.
- There you go, that's a win.
198
00:07:53,848 --> 00:07:55,599
(Viv): Daddy, can I have
this cup, please?
199
00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:57,474
(James): Oh, uh, yeah,
200
00:07:57,475 --> 00:07:59,896
only one treasure per person,
Wonder Girl.
201
00:08:00,021 --> 00:08:01,230
- Okay.
202
00:08:01,355 --> 00:08:02,398
(Astrid): And blue.
203
00:08:03,315 --> 00:08:04,316
Yeah.
204
00:08:04,317 --> 00:08:06,360
- Roar!
- Ah! Oh, Felix!
205
00:08:06,485 --> 00:08:08,277
(laughing)
What took you guys so long?
206
00:08:08,278 --> 00:08:10,489
- We found some treasures.
Viv got some books.
207
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,867
Felix got some pencil crayons.
(Astrid): Oh.
208
00:08:12,992 --> 00:08:14,951
- And a mug for you, my sweet.
209
00:08:15,452 --> 00:08:18,372
- You know me so well.
Beer truly is my coffee.
210
00:08:18,497 --> 00:08:20,415
(Viv): Can you read
one to me, Mommy?
211
00:08:20,540 --> 00:08:22,334
- Yeah, let's read together.
- All right, dudes,
212
00:08:22,459 --> 00:08:24,711
race to the park. Let's go!
(Felix): Oh!
213
00:08:24,836 --> 00:08:26,422
- Oh, you're gonna finish
in last place, buddy.
214
00:08:26,547 --> 00:08:27,548
I'm gonna take you.
(Morris mumbling)
215
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,132
- Okay, what do we have here?
216
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:32,802
"Itsy Bitsy Mommy
and the Big Stain."
217
00:08:33,971 --> 00:08:35,306
Okay.
218
00:08:35,889 --> 00:08:38,349
"Itsy Bitsy Mommy Stays Quiet."
219
00:08:38,350 --> 00:08:41,687
"Itsy Bitsy Mommy
Makes Room for Others."
220
00:08:41,812 --> 00:08:43,355
- Can we read one?
221
00:08:46,650 --> 00:08:47,816
- Yeah.
222
00:08:47,817 --> 00:08:50,487
"One hot, summer day,
Itsy Bitsy Mommy Doreen
223
00:08:50,488 --> 00:08:52,030
wanted to have some fun.
224
00:08:52,155 --> 00:08:55,743
So, she made a big pitcher
of lemonade for Big Daddy Dog.
225
00:08:55,868 --> 00:08:59,621
But she tripped and spilled
lemonade all over his shirt.
226
00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:02,165
He got so mad, he growled."
227
00:09:02,166 --> 00:09:05,710
- Oh, no. What will he wear now?
228
00:09:05,711 --> 00:09:08,003
- "To make Big Daddy Dog happy,
229
00:09:08,004 --> 00:09:09,672
Itsy Bitsy Mommy Doreen
decided to--"
230
00:09:09,673 --> 00:09:14,386
- "to bake him a...
231
00:09:14,511 --> 00:09:17,764
c-a-ke."
232
00:09:17,889 --> 00:09:22,311
I love the way Itsy Bitsy
Mommy Doreen looks.
233
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,231
(Astrid): We gotta get rid
of those books.
234
00:09:26,356 --> 00:09:28,524
Itsy Bitsy Mommy is a teeny,
weeny trad-wife.
235
00:09:28,525 --> 00:09:30,694
- Well, just get her the books
that Felix learned to read on,
236
00:09:30,695 --> 00:09:33,322
the submarine shark.
- What? That's not any better.
237
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:35,740
A shark that drives
a submarine, James?
238
00:09:35,865 --> 00:09:37,994
There's no logic to that.
- Viv is reading.
239
00:09:38,119 --> 00:09:39,576
Isn't that the whole point
of the whole thing?
240
00:09:39,577 --> 00:09:43,331
- Oh, James. Reading
is about expanding your mind,
241
00:09:43,456 --> 00:09:44,541
not lobotomizing it.
242
00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:46,168
- Hey guys, check out
my new drawing.
243
00:09:46,293 --> 00:09:48,004
(James gasps)
- You did not do that?
244
00:09:48,129 --> 00:09:50,754
- Get... outta the town.
- Come on, Felix!
245
00:09:50,755 --> 00:09:52,258
(both): What is that?
246
00:09:52,383 --> 00:09:55,135
- It's planets
exploding in space.
247
00:09:55,260 --> 00:09:59,347
- Yes, amazing!
- Yeah. Yeah, wow!
248
00:09:59,472 --> 00:10:02,309
Is that for school tomorrow?
- No, tomorrow's a PA day.
249
00:10:02,434 --> 00:10:05,269
- Uh, yeah. I know that, Felix.
250
00:10:05,270 --> 00:10:06,438
Did you know that, James?
251
00:10:06,563 --> 00:10:07,897
- Yeah, I knew
the heck outta that.
252
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:10,566
Hey um, tomorrow,
253
00:10:10,567 --> 00:10:12,569
GoBo is doing a new logo design.
254
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:14,154
You wanna come in
to work with me?
255
00:10:14,279 --> 00:10:16,448
- Sweet.
- Yeah, okay, that's one down.
256
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:19,701
Um, uh sweetie, honey,
257
00:10:19,826 --> 00:10:21,244
why are you wearing an apron?
258
00:10:21,245 --> 00:10:22,745
- Didn't wanna dirty my frock
259
00:10:22,746 --> 00:10:24,748
while I sharpened
Felix's pencil crayons.
260
00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:26,081
- Hmm.
261
00:10:26,082 --> 00:10:27,668
- Drawing is hungry work, Felix.
262
00:10:27,793 --> 00:10:29,044
Can I make you up a plate?
263
00:10:29,169 --> 00:10:31,464
(tense music)
(whispering): Itsy Bitsy Mommy.
264
00:10:32,465 --> 00:10:35,842
- Uh, oh, uh, thank you, Viv.
265
00:10:35,967 --> 00:10:37,469
- We gotta get rid
of those books.
266
00:10:37,470 --> 00:10:38,596
- Mm-hmm.
267
00:10:40,431 --> 00:10:42,557
(Astrid): Mom, the only thing
in here is Teen Beat magazines
268
00:10:42,682 --> 00:10:45,519
and Archie comics. Why'd you
let me read this garbage?
269
00:10:45,644 --> 00:10:47,103
- Same reason I let Dawn
do the taxes.
270
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:49,065
You were exploring
your interests.
271
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,150
- We have to find something
stimulating for Viv.
272
00:10:52,275 --> 00:10:55,152
She's obsessed with these
Itsy Bitsy Mommy books.
273
00:10:55,153 --> 00:10:56,489
They're trash.
274
00:10:56,614 --> 00:10:58,322
- If we chose
what you kids liked,
275
00:10:58,323 --> 00:10:59,533
we'd never have let you listen
276
00:10:59,658 --> 00:11:02,244
to that screaming
scary vampire music.
277
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,081
♪ Oh, here's a chicken,
let's bite off its head ♪
278
00:11:05,206 --> 00:11:07,500
♪ Oh, look, its blood is red ♪
279
00:11:07,625 --> 00:11:09,334
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
280
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,503
- What song was that?
- Well, you know.
281
00:11:11,504 --> 00:11:13,839
♪ Drink my blood,
we're together in bed ♪
282
00:11:13,964 --> 00:11:15,632
♪ With the red blood, blood ♪
283
00:11:15,633 --> 00:11:17,133
(moaning)
284
00:11:17,134 --> 00:11:18,968
Oh. I almost forgot.
285
00:11:18,969 --> 00:11:21,638
The new Bridgemaker's Cousin
book is out.
286
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:23,514
(Astrid gasps)
- Gimme! Oh, my God,
287
00:11:23,515 --> 00:11:25,349
I heard the cousin reveal
in this one is insane.
288
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:27,185
- Oh, it's less about
who is a cousin
289
00:11:27,186 --> 00:11:29,521
and more about who isn't.
290
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:31,147
(Astrid laughs)
291
00:11:31,148 --> 00:11:33,859
- Viv, what's on your face?
292
00:11:33,984 --> 00:11:35,903
- Itsy Bitsy Mommy Doreen
293
00:11:36,028 --> 00:11:39,029
always powders her nose
before going out.
294
00:11:39,030 --> 00:11:40,824
- Okay, change of plans.
295
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:42,701
Viv's coming to work
with me today.
296
00:11:42,826 --> 00:11:44,452
- On election day?
- Oh yeah,
297
00:11:44,577 --> 00:11:46,162
this is a perfect chance
for her to see
298
00:11:46,163 --> 00:11:47,539
what a big mommy does.
299
00:11:47,664 --> 00:11:49,499
Or woman. A big woman.
300
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,711
Who's also a mommy.
No matter the size.
301
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:53,044
Oh, my God, I'm James-ing.
302
00:11:53,169 --> 00:11:55,338
(rhythmic music)
303
00:11:55,339 --> 00:11:57,383
- What about one
that's like a ball of yarn
304
00:11:57,508 --> 00:11:59,969
with a needle through it,
but it's shaped like a heart.
305
00:12:00,094 --> 00:12:03,096
It's like Cupid.
- That's this one.
306
00:12:03,221 --> 00:12:04,682
- Yeah.
307
00:12:05,474 --> 00:12:08,725
- As requested,
chips and dip four ways,
308
00:12:08,726 --> 00:12:11,562
but the tenderloin
needs a few more minutes
in the sous vide.
309
00:12:11,563 --> 00:12:13,730
- Hmm, okay.
- Now can I learn about GoBo?
310
00:12:13,731 --> 00:12:15,524
- The learning
has already begun.
311
00:12:15,525 --> 00:12:16,692
(James sighs)
312
00:12:16,693 --> 00:12:18,570
Hey, you know what I would like
is a ginger ale.
313
00:12:18,571 --> 00:12:20,947
- I don't think we have those.
314
00:12:21,072 --> 00:12:22,699
Be right on it.
315
00:12:22,700 --> 00:12:24,242
(Felix): Hey, Dad.
- Yeah?
316
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,660
- Check this out.
317
00:12:25,785 --> 00:12:29,289
- What? You made that?
That's amazing!
318
00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:31,917
- Maybe you can use it
for the logo.
319
00:12:33,293 --> 00:12:35,545
(Astrid): A child's ego
is a delicate thing.
320
00:12:35,546 --> 00:12:37,088
(James): You wanna
puff it up enough
321
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,966
to keep them happily afloat
in the kiddie pool of life.
322
00:12:39,091 --> 00:12:40,759
(Astrid): But over-inflate it
and they'll think
323
00:12:40,884 --> 00:12:42,344
they're ready
for more dangerous waters.
324
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:44,138
(James): But they won't be.
Especially if you've been lax
325
00:12:44,263 --> 00:12:45,847
with the swimming lessons
and their heavy head
326
00:12:45,972 --> 00:12:47,431
is in the 90th percentile.
327
00:12:47,432 --> 00:12:49,184
Uh, this is turning
into a drowning analogy.
328
00:12:49,309 --> 00:12:51,187
Too dark, I want out.
(Astrid): Abandon ship, James.
329
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,355
- Yeah, for our logo,
I, I uh, you know what?
330
00:12:53,480 --> 00:12:56,609
I'll say this, this is one
of the best drawings
331
00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:58,734
you've ever done.
I can say that.
332
00:12:58,735 --> 00:13:00,821
- Gentlemen, I just got word
333
00:13:00,946 --> 00:13:02,614
that the president of Gero's
is coming today.
334
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,619
So, I need you to narrow down
the top three logos, stat.
335
00:13:06,744 --> 00:13:09,454
- Marla, is there any intern
services I can provide for you?
336
00:13:09,455 --> 00:13:13,500
- Hmm. My scorpions
need to feed. Come.
337
00:13:13,625 --> 00:13:15,418
(Corey): Okay.
338
00:13:17,504 --> 00:13:19,755
- She's not actually gonna feed
Corey to the scorpions?
339
00:13:19,756 --> 00:13:21,049
- I hope not.
340
00:13:21,174 --> 00:13:23,552
- All right, Viv,
take a look around.
341
00:13:23,677 --> 00:13:27,095
Look at all these
hard-working women here
on election day.
342
00:13:27,096 --> 00:13:30,100
No little mommies in sight.
343
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,143
- Mommy, she looks
like a Doreen.
344
00:13:33,144 --> 00:13:35,022
- Well, she's not, Viv.
345
00:13:35,147 --> 00:13:37,024
She's an involved
community member
346
00:13:37,149 --> 00:13:39,108
and a very
hard-working volunteer.
347
00:13:39,109 --> 00:13:40,735
Her name is...
348
00:13:40,860 --> 00:13:42,654
I forget her name,
but it's not Doreen.
349
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:44,740
- Yo, how do you turn on
the dishwasher again?
350
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:47,115
I always forget and you're like,
a dishwashing wizard.
351
00:13:47,116 --> 00:13:49,035
(Viv squeals)
(annoyed chuckle)
352
00:13:49,160 --> 00:13:50,829
- Jean-Luc, go do some work.
353
00:13:50,830 --> 00:13:52,497
(laughs)
- Yeah, I probably should.
354
00:13:52,498 --> 00:13:53,790
I haven't done anything. Woo!
355
00:13:53,791 --> 00:13:57,336
- Astrid, somehow,
I got minestrone soup
356
00:13:57,461 --> 00:14:00,171
all over my lucky tie.
It's like an Italian curse.
357
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:03,049
- Leonard, breathe.
Give it to me. I got it.
358
00:14:03,174 --> 00:14:06,095
You know what? No tie is great.
You're a man of the people now.
359
00:14:06,220 --> 00:14:09,557
- Yeah, I guess I do feel
a lot freer to cut the crap.
360
00:14:09,682 --> 00:14:13,686
Well done.
- Yeah, see? Ha. Ha, ha.
361
00:14:13,811 --> 00:14:16,311
- Tsk, tsk.
Whatever shall we do
362
00:14:16,312 --> 00:14:19,357
about this nasty, nasty spot?
363
00:14:21,235 --> 00:14:22,443
(indistinct chatter)
364
00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:24,279
- Can't we just go
with the top two?
365
00:14:24,404 --> 00:14:26,532
- Yeah?
- Gentlemen, the new President
366
00:14:26,657 --> 00:14:28,701
of Gero's has arrived.
367
00:14:29,534 --> 00:14:30,826
Prepare yourselves.
368
00:14:30,827 --> 00:14:32,161
(James): Oh, for what?
369
00:14:32,162 --> 00:14:34,998
Oh, Marla, are you
the new President?
370
00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:36,542
(suspenseful music)
371
00:14:37,668 --> 00:14:40,837
- I am the new President
of Gero's. Surprise!
372
00:14:41,379 --> 00:14:45,049
(both): Yay! Congratulations,
Marla! That's amazing.
373
00:14:45,842 --> 00:14:47,427
- Well, how?
How did this happen?
374
00:14:47,552 --> 00:14:50,764
- The old President was let go
after an email surfaced
375
00:14:50,889 --> 00:14:53,308
about a clandestine
puppy mill ring.
376
00:14:53,433 --> 00:14:55,311
(chuckles slyly)
In the chaotic scramble
377
00:14:55,436 --> 00:14:58,354
to find a replacement,
I was the only stable choice.
378
00:14:58,355 --> 00:15:04,445
For my first act as President,
I will choose a new logo.
379
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:05,821
- Oh, hold on, real quick.
380
00:15:05,946 --> 00:15:07,072
That's actually
a different pile.
381
00:15:07,197 --> 00:15:09,450
That's a different thing.
- What is this?
382
00:15:09,575 --> 00:15:11,744
- Oh, that one's mine.
It's good, right, Dad?
383
00:15:11,869 --> 00:15:14,413
- Yeah. I love it.
I think it's really good.
384
00:15:14,538 --> 00:15:15,873
Right, Ennis?
385
00:15:17,957 --> 00:15:19,960
- I think you could do better.
(James): Ennis!
386
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:22,837
- What, it's uneven here.
There's eraser marks.
387
00:15:22,962 --> 00:15:24,923
What, is there a beehive
for some reason?
388
00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:26,466
- The colour scheme's
all "pbbt".
389
00:15:26,591 --> 00:15:28,259
(James): Oh, no, I don't--
390
00:15:28,384 --> 00:15:30,052
- You said it was
my best drawing.
391
00:15:30,053 --> 00:15:31,763
- It is. I love it.
392
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:36,601
It's just, for GoBo,
it might not be right.
393
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:40,522
(Felix sighs)
394
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,524
Oh.
(Leonard): Come on, people!
395
00:15:42,649 --> 00:15:44,566
How long does it take
to count a few votes?
396
00:15:44,567 --> 00:15:46,069
(Jean-Luc): Uh, yeah, yeah.
397
00:15:46,070 --> 00:15:48,947
Um, sure. Yeah, I'll let him
know. Yeah, thanks.
398
00:15:49,657 --> 00:15:50,990
We won.
399
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:53,534
(all cheering)
400
00:15:54,327 --> 00:15:58,706
(all): Cut the crap!
Cut the crap! Cut the crap!
401
00:15:58,831 --> 00:16:02,126
Cut the crap!
- Okay, okay, everybody.
402
00:16:02,251 --> 00:16:04,921
Quiet down.
We have a lot of work to do.
403
00:16:04,922 --> 00:16:06,130
I need you to run point,
404
00:16:06,255 --> 00:16:07,841
field interview requests
and photos.
405
00:16:07,966 --> 00:16:09,176
Jean-Luc, get the press ready.
- On it.
406
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:10,801
- Let's do it now.
Come on, guys.
407
00:16:10,802 --> 00:16:13,138
- Where's my uh...
- Oh, Leonard, your speech.
408
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,350
14 point Helvetica bold,
double-spaced,
409
00:16:16,475 --> 00:16:20,187
no italics because slants...
- Make me dizzy. Good job.
410
00:16:21,355 --> 00:16:24,524
And Astrid, you know,
411
00:16:24,649 --> 00:16:27,485
I know I... can be a lot.
412
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:28,821
(Astrid exhales)
413
00:16:28,946 --> 00:16:31,446
But I couldn't have done
any of this without you.
414
00:16:31,447 --> 00:16:33,658
I'm proud to work with you.
415
00:16:33,783 --> 00:16:36,370
- Ahem, congratulations, again.
416
00:16:36,495 --> 00:16:39,081
From me and my entire family.
417
00:16:39,206 --> 00:16:43,000
Ahem, including Viv.
Ahem, Viv! Psst!
418
00:16:43,126 --> 00:16:44,419
Yoo-hoo, Viv.
419
00:16:44,544 --> 00:16:46,212
(Jean-Luc): Press is here.
420
00:16:46,337 --> 00:16:47,423
- It's showtime!
421
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,841
- Oh wait, Leonard,
your collar. Okay.
422
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:53,511
- Yay, Mommy!
423
00:16:53,636 --> 00:16:55,346
You're a really good helper.
424
00:16:59,058 --> 00:17:01,437
- I only need seven more
yellows on this side.
425
00:17:01,562 --> 00:17:03,646
- Viv asked to do
the dishes tonight.
426
00:17:03,647 --> 00:17:05,480
But I know she only asked
427
00:17:05,481 --> 00:17:07,151
because of the Itsy
Bitsy Mommies.
428
00:17:07,901 --> 00:17:09,903
Those books
are such garbage, James.
429
00:17:10,028 --> 00:17:12,071
- Yeah. How are those
smutty cousins books going?
430
00:17:12,196 --> 00:17:14,364
- The Bridgemaker's Cousin
series, James?
431
00:17:14,365 --> 00:17:15,784
- Oh yes, that one.
432
00:17:15,909 --> 00:17:17,702
- The historical fiction
that I'm reading?
433
00:17:17,827 --> 00:17:19,121
- Uh-huh.
- It's hardly smut.
434
00:17:19,246 --> 00:17:20,372
- Mm-hmm.
- Okay?
435
00:17:20,497 --> 00:17:23,125
Though, this one is a little
spicier than the rest.
436
00:17:23,250 --> 00:17:24,209
- Ah.
437
00:17:24,334 --> 00:17:26,252
- There's a third cousin
in this one.
438
00:17:26,753 --> 00:17:28,255
It's...
439
00:17:29,506 --> 00:17:30,839
(sighing)
440
00:17:30,840 --> 00:17:32,550
- Meanwhile...
441
00:17:33,634 --> 00:17:34,885
Felix may never draw again
442
00:17:34,886 --> 00:17:36,386
after Ennis destroyed him
at work today.
443
00:17:36,387 --> 00:17:38,222
He's back on the podcasts.
Are our kids doomed?
444
00:17:38,347 --> 00:17:40,267
- No, not if we course correct.
445
00:17:40,392 --> 00:17:42,058
That's why I bought Viv
a new book
446
00:17:42,059 --> 00:17:43,479
on the way home from work.
447
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,854
"Historical Strong Women
Bedtime Stories."
448
00:17:45,855 --> 00:17:48,067
- Oh.
- Course corrected.
449
00:17:48,192 --> 00:17:49,357
- Ooh.
450
00:17:49,358 --> 00:17:53,739
(Viv): Mommy, can kids
get burned at the stake?
451
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,657
- No, babe, not anymore.
452
00:17:56,784 --> 00:17:58,285
Go to sleep.
453
00:17:59,202 --> 00:18:00,913
Course corrected.
454
00:18:02,372 --> 00:18:04,083
(J): B?
455
00:18:08,670 --> 00:18:10,212
(podcast plays
through headphones)
456
00:18:10,213 --> 00:18:12,714
- Oh, don't look at that.
This one's better.
457
00:18:12,715 --> 00:18:14,759
- No, no, no. This is amazing.
458
00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:16,760
I'm just happy to see you
sticking with it.
459
00:18:16,761 --> 00:18:18,554
You know, I was afraid that,
460
00:18:18,555 --> 00:18:19,972
that Marla and Ennis
ruined it for you.
461
00:18:20,097 --> 00:18:21,974
- Them? Why would you say
462
00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:24,935
my drawing was your favourite
when it wasn't even that good?
463
00:18:24,936 --> 00:18:27,940
- No, listen, I truly love
the stuff that you make.
464
00:18:28,065 --> 00:18:29,817
But I also truly love you.
465
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:33,402
So, it can be hard for me
to be objective sometimes.
466
00:18:33,403 --> 00:18:35,864
- Do you think this could be
the new GoBo logo?
467
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,200
- Are you kidding?
They'd be crazy not to have it.
468
00:18:38,325 --> 00:18:39,492
- Tell the truth.
469
00:18:39,617 --> 00:18:41,662
- Okay, it's not
good enough yet.
470
00:18:41,787 --> 00:18:45,039
But if you stick with it,
who knows what could happen?
471
00:18:45,164 --> 00:18:46,208
- I do.
472
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,295
(James): Felix Industries?
473
00:18:50,420 --> 00:18:53,548
The top of the "i" in Felix
has a shading issue.
474
00:18:53,673 --> 00:18:55,258
- No, it's really good, Dad.
475
00:18:55,259 --> 00:18:57,803
- Yeah, but no, yep, yep, yep.
- Really good.
476
00:18:59,011 --> 00:19:00,721
- The Mirabal sisters
refused to live
477
00:19:00,847 --> 00:19:04,767
under a dictatorship
and helped bring democracy
to the Dominican Republic.
478
00:19:04,768 --> 00:19:07,895
Despite their best efforts,
the three sisters were...
479
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:12,567
- What's wrong, Mommy?
480
00:19:14,068 --> 00:19:15,737
- Um, the...
481
00:19:16,445 --> 00:19:19,700
Well, you know, not every story
has a happy ending.
482
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,825
The important thing
is that these three women
483
00:19:21,826 --> 00:19:23,537
were inspirational.
484
00:19:23,662 --> 00:19:27,664
And I, I will tell you why
when you're older.
485
00:19:27,665 --> 00:19:30,501
- Maybe we should read
one of my books.
486
00:19:31,502 --> 00:19:33,172
- Maybe we should.
487
00:19:35,923 --> 00:19:38,594
- "Itsy Bitsy Mommy
Stays Quiet."
488
00:19:39,720 --> 00:19:42,681
"One cool, spring day,
Big Daddy Dog was in a rush
489
00:19:42,806 --> 00:19:44,849
to get to work and almost went
without a lunch."
490
00:19:44,974 --> 00:19:48,269
- Viv, that's amazing reading.
491
00:19:48,394 --> 00:19:49,687
(Viv giggles)
492
00:19:49,688 --> 00:19:52,522
(Astrid): It's normal to compare
your kids to their peers.
493
00:19:52,523 --> 00:19:53,816
Or a list of benchmarks.
494
00:19:53,817 --> 00:19:55,736
Or one time,
an impressive celebrity dog.
495
00:19:55,861 --> 00:19:57,945
(James): But kids develop
at different rates,
496
00:19:58,070 --> 00:20:01,699
so calm down or you'll be
in the 100th percentile
for stress headaches.
497
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,700
(Astrid): And go easy
on yourself.
498
00:20:03,701 --> 00:20:05,119
You're still growing, too.
499
00:20:05,244 --> 00:20:08,373
- Then, Itsy Bitsy Mommy
pulled off their whole face.
500
00:20:08,498 --> 00:20:11,709
Surprise! She was a gross alien
the whole time.
501
00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:13,835
- Mm, I don't know, I think
you're making that up.
502
00:20:13,836 --> 00:20:15,212
- I think it's an improvement.
503
00:20:15,338 --> 00:20:17,758
- She had nine eyes
and she was covered in scuzz,
504
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,842
but you think she cared?
She didn't.
505
00:20:19,843 --> 00:20:23,055
She was there to free the people
of Earth from oppression.
506
00:20:23,180 --> 00:20:26,391
(laughing)
- Yes, she was!
507
00:20:28,602 --> 00:20:31,354
Betty and Veronica spent
their whole time chasing Archie,
508
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:33,440
when it was Reggie
who was the real snack.
509
00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:34,731
(clicks tongue)
- Ew, Mom.
510
00:20:34,732 --> 00:20:36,484
- And yet, you managed
to run a successful
511
00:20:36,609 --> 00:20:37,903
re-election campaign.
512
00:20:38,028 --> 00:20:39,988
It all evens out
in the wash, kiddo.
513
00:20:40,113 --> 00:20:41,905
- Yeah, I guess.
514
00:20:41,906 --> 00:20:44,785
- Parenting is so much
harder now.
515
00:20:44,910 --> 00:20:47,702
I didn't have to hear
every study, every opinion,
516
00:20:47,703 --> 00:20:49,579
and every carcinogen warning.
517
00:20:49,580 --> 00:20:52,584
Take a breath.
You're doing great.
518
00:20:53,417 --> 00:20:55,170
- Thanks, Mom.
- Aw.
519
00:20:56,546 --> 00:20:58,673
And you're a real snack.
520
00:20:59,423 --> 00:21:01,217
- Mom, why do you keep
saying "snack?"
521
00:21:01,218 --> 00:21:03,719
- It's my latest thing.
(Astrid chuckles)
522
00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:07,348
(theme music)
523
00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,959
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