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1
00:00:00,250 --> 00:00:03,003
(Dynamic music)
2
00:00:03,128 --> 00:00:05,588
♪
3
00:00:05,714 --> 00:00:15,098
(Text on screen)
4
00:00:21,730 --> 00:00:25,442
- Why don't we have
any bread? Or fruit? Or ice?
5
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,193
- Yeah, I'll uh, make a list
and go grocery shopping later.
6
00:00:27,318 --> 00:00:30,112
Is that Felix's hoodie?
- Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:30,237 --> 00:00:33,115
Got mixed in with my laundry,
and I dunno, kinda fits, right?
8
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,701
- Magical time in a boy's life.
9
00:00:34,868 --> 00:00:36,536
Not quite a man,
sort of a small woman.
10
00:00:36,661 --> 00:00:38,079
- At least we have coffee.
- No, no, no, no.
11
00:00:38,246 --> 00:00:40,122
I brushed with the kids' bubble
gum toothpaste this morning.
12
00:00:40,247 --> 00:00:41,207
Makes coffee taste yucky.
13
00:00:41,374 --> 00:00:43,542
- Add adult toothpaste
to the list.
14
00:00:43,710 --> 00:00:45,378
- Will do.
(Morris): Viv.
15
00:00:45,503 --> 00:00:47,213
(James): Viv, honey,
the couch is not a trampoline.
16
00:00:49,173 --> 00:00:51,718
(James): Becoming a parent
changes the way you age.
17
00:00:51,843 --> 00:00:54,720
(Astrid): First off,
your body gets old a lot faster,
18
00:00:54,845 --> 00:00:56,722
but your sense of style
stays the same.
19
00:00:56,890 --> 00:00:59,475
(James): Hmm, you listen
to kids' music, watch kids' TV,
20
00:00:59,600 --> 00:01:00,976
and eat chicken tenders
three times a week.
21
00:01:01,101 --> 00:01:03,979
(Astrid): It's like
you experience all ages
at the same time.
22
00:01:04,105 --> 00:01:05,774
Sometimes you behave
like an old grump,
23
00:01:05,939 --> 00:01:08,317
and other times you just
kind of act like your kids.
24
00:01:08,442 --> 00:01:11,111
- Okay, would you like five
Yum-Yum Dino Nuggets
25
00:01:11,278 --> 00:01:12,237
with your lunch, or six?
- Ooh, so sorry,
26
00:01:12,405 --> 00:01:14,281
I'm taking the last
of the pasta salad.
27
00:01:14,448 --> 00:01:15,742
- I'll give you half
of my pizza pocket
28
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:17,743
for half your pasta salad.
- Okay, throw in
29
00:01:17,868 --> 00:01:18,661
a fruit roll
and a rainbow chip cookie,
30
00:01:18,787 --> 00:01:20,454
you got yourself a deal.
(James): Ooh.
31
00:01:20,621 --> 00:01:21,164
(thuds, grunts)
(Morris): Whoa.
32
00:01:21,289 --> 00:01:23,917
- I'm okay!
33
00:01:24,042 --> 00:01:25,584
(theme music plays)
34
00:01:30,048 --> 00:01:31,257
(Astrid): Hey, don't forget
to hand in your field trip forms
35
00:01:31,424 --> 00:01:33,343
so we can go
to the museum together.
36
00:01:33,468 --> 00:01:35,260
- I can't believe
we're gonna see real mummies.
37
00:01:35,385 --> 00:01:36,262
- I know.
When I was a kid,
38
00:01:36,387 --> 00:01:38,430
my dad took me to see them,
39
00:01:38,555 --> 00:01:39,974
and one of them
had their foot unwrapped,
40
00:01:40,141 --> 00:01:41,935
and you could see
their actual dead foot.
41
00:01:42,102 --> 00:01:46,105
- Mummies are dead people?
- Uh... yeah.
42
00:01:46,272 --> 00:01:47,524
- I'm gonna see a dead body?
43
00:01:47,649 --> 00:01:48,441
- Listen, first dead bodies
44
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:51,528
are a real milestone
in a girl's life.
45
00:01:52,486 --> 00:01:54,489
We're gonna have a great time.
(Morris): Yay.
46
00:01:54,656 --> 00:01:56,198
(grunting)
(Astrid): Get it, get it,
get it.
47
00:01:56,323 --> 00:01:58,951
Go, go, go, go.
48
00:01:59,326 --> 00:02:01,370
(indistinct chatter)
49
00:02:01,495 --> 00:02:03,456
(James): Good morning.
50
00:02:03,623 --> 00:02:06,543
I brought muffins. Enjoy.
51
00:02:06,668 --> 00:02:08,794
- Mmm, I love muffins,
52
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,131
but not blueberry.
Those are garbage.
53
00:02:11,296 --> 00:02:14,800
- They're assorted, Marla.
- "The Mouse's Crumb."
54
00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:16,343
(both): Ooh!
- What's the occasion?
55
00:02:16,510 --> 00:02:19,222
- I finally paid off
my student loan.
56
00:02:19,347 --> 00:02:21,974
I am officially an adult!
57
00:02:22,140 --> 00:02:23,643
- Oh, walnut?!
58
00:02:23,768 --> 00:02:25,645
These are the blueberries
of the nut world, James.
59
00:02:25,770 --> 00:02:27,229
- You don't have to eat
the muffins, Marla.
60
00:02:27,354 --> 00:02:28,522
- Ooh, cranberry. Thank God.
61
00:02:28,689 --> 00:02:32,068
- So, what are you gonna do
with the extra cash every month?
62
00:02:32,193 --> 00:02:33,318
- Uh, I was thinking
of putting it towards
63
00:02:33,443 --> 00:02:35,487
servicing my other debts.
64
00:02:35,612 --> 00:02:38,491
- Or maybe something for you?
65
00:02:38,616 --> 00:02:40,534
- He's right, James.
You deserve it,
66
00:02:40,701 --> 00:02:42,579
and so do I,
which is why I got myself
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00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,163
a top-of-the-line standing desk
for my home office.
68
00:02:45,330 --> 00:02:45,831
- When are you working
from home?
69
00:02:45,956 --> 00:02:47,834
- Evenings and weekends.
70
00:02:47,959 --> 00:02:50,544
- Yeah, I would like a really
nice piece of furniture.
71
00:02:50,711 --> 00:02:53,673
Maybe for when I retire,
like a, like a well-made chair.
72
00:02:53,798 --> 00:02:55,258
Something to sip whisky in.
73
00:02:55,383 --> 00:02:57,342
Maybe watch all those
Transformers movies.
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00:02:57,467 --> 00:02:59,387
- Van De Üssan.
- That's a Transformer?
75
00:02:59,554 --> 00:03:01,848
- It's a chair.
- Oh.
76
00:03:02,014 --> 00:03:05,058
- Handcrafted,
dignified, handsome.
77
00:03:05,225 --> 00:03:06,519
Perfect for you.
78
00:03:06,644 --> 00:03:08,687
- Okay, well,
I'll look it up online.
79
00:03:08,812 --> 00:03:10,522
It's uh, spelled
like how it sounds?
80
00:03:10,647 --> 00:03:11,649
(laughs)
- James, no.
81
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:15,193
A chair like this deserves
to be seen in person.
82
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:16,862
And I know just the place.
83
00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:18,531
- And as a gift
for paying off your loans,
84
00:03:18,656 --> 00:03:20,699
I permit you to go
during work hours.
85
00:03:20,824 --> 00:03:22,367
- Oh.
- For one hour. Over lunch.
86
00:03:22,534 --> 00:03:22,868
- There it is.
87
00:03:22,993 --> 00:03:25,455
(soft music)
88
00:03:27,581 --> 00:03:28,457
- I'm here to pick up
my police report.
89
00:03:28,582 --> 00:03:31,377
- Certainly. Name?
- Astrid Berney.
90
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:32,586
- Okay.
91
00:03:32,753 --> 00:03:34,046
- I'm here to get
a police check
92
00:03:34,212 --> 00:03:35,381
so I can hang out
with a bunch of kids.
93
00:03:36,674 --> 00:03:37,717
Sorry, I don't know why
94
00:03:37,842 --> 00:03:39,217
I just said it like that,
or did that.
95
00:03:39,343 --> 00:03:42,222
To clarify, my daughter's class
is going on a field trip
96
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,765
and I need a clean police check
so I can volunteer.
97
00:03:44,932 --> 00:03:46,433
- Okay, looks like
that's not happening.
98
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,061
You got a peace bond
against you.
99
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:50,395
- What? Why?
100
00:03:51,063 --> 00:03:53,274
Is that because I kicked
that Mountie from the G20 rally?
101
00:03:53,441 --> 00:03:54,734
Because he pushed me first.
102
00:03:54,859 --> 00:03:57,444
- You kicked a Mountie?
- No.
103
00:03:57,611 --> 00:03:59,739
What is a peace bond?
104
00:03:59,906 --> 00:04:00,531
- It's a type
of restraining order
105
00:04:00,657 --> 00:04:03,408
taken out by Mr. Luke Mittal.
106
00:04:03,575 --> 00:04:06,496
- Mittal?
That's my mom's maiden name.
107
00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:10,165
I don't know Luke. Luke Mittal?
108
00:04:10,290 --> 00:04:11,417
But why?
109
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,461
Why would anyone take out
a peace bond against me?
110
00:04:14,628 --> 00:04:16,755
I'm lovely.
111
00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,593
- This isn't a... thing
we solve together.
112
00:04:21,593 --> 00:04:23,428
(curious music plays)
113
00:04:26,432 --> 00:04:28,309
(James): Ooh, it's like
an art gallery in here.
114
00:04:28,475 --> 00:04:30,769
- This furniture is art, James.
115
00:04:30,937 --> 00:04:33,273
Art you could put
your "derrière" on.
116
00:04:33,439 --> 00:04:36,108
- Oh, well, not sure any of this
goes with my "derrière."
117
00:04:36,233 --> 00:04:39,444
(chuckles)
- Not even the Van De Üssan?
118
00:04:39,569 --> 00:04:42,949
(♪ Catch a Falling Star ♪ plays)
119
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,744
(gasps)
120
00:04:47,620 --> 00:04:51,833
♪ Catch a falling star
and put it in your pocket ♪
121
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,459
♪ Never let it fade away... ♪
122
00:04:54,584 --> 00:04:56,254
(Harper): The Van De Üssan.
123
00:04:58,338 --> 00:05:00,216
You have wonderful taste.
124
00:05:00,591 --> 00:05:03,552
Please, try it. I insist.
125
00:05:03,677 --> 00:05:07,723
♪ ...For love may come
and tap you on the shoulder ♪
126
00:05:07,848 --> 00:05:09,391
♪ Some starless night... ♪
127
00:05:09,516 --> 00:05:11,476
- Oh!
- Mm-hmm.
128
00:05:11,644 --> 00:05:12,519
(James laughs happily)
129
00:05:12,687 --> 00:05:15,398
- Now, that's a good
sitting chair.
130
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:18,026
- Ah, nice to see you again.
131
00:05:18,192 --> 00:05:20,319
How's the Nella Vetrina
bedside table?
132
00:05:20,444 --> 00:05:23,238
- It is the most exquisite place
to store my mouthguard.
133
00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:25,490
- Oh, sorry, this is actually
a little bit more
134
00:05:25,658 --> 00:05:27,076
than I was expecting to spend.
135
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:30,204
- Don't decide
with your bank account, James.
136
00:05:30,370 --> 00:05:31,831
Decide with your heart.
137
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,875
The student loan chapter
of your life has ended.
138
00:05:35,043 --> 00:05:37,836
Who are you in this new chapter?
139
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,505
(dramatic music plays)
140
00:05:42,966 --> 00:05:45,970
- I'm a man who can have
one nice thing.
141
00:05:46,721 --> 00:05:50,350
Wow, bang, right there. Okay.
142
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:53,603
- Oh, hi, Mom.
I'm glad you're here.
143
00:05:53,728 --> 00:05:55,855
I have a question.
144
00:05:55,980 --> 00:05:57,607
(Dawn): Hey.
- I have two questions.
145
00:05:57,732 --> 00:05:58,940
Since when do you wear outfits
146
00:05:59,067 --> 00:05:59,608
that cost less than a month
of groceries?
147
00:05:59,733 --> 00:06:01,860
- Ha, ha.
148
00:06:01,985 --> 00:06:04,029
Wasn't planning
this ensemble, Astrid,
149
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,740
but not everything
in life is planned.
150
00:06:05,906 --> 00:06:07,908
- Okay. Where's the Dawn
151
00:06:08,076 --> 00:06:09,535
from our universe, intruder?
152
00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:11,579
- Leave your sister alone.
153
00:06:11,745 --> 00:06:13,206
The last few weeks
before I had you,
154
00:06:13,372 --> 00:06:14,624
I tried using the TV remote
on the microwave.
155
00:06:14,749 --> 00:06:18,543
- Okay. Someone took out
a peace bond against me.
156
00:06:18,711 --> 00:06:20,588
- Is this because you punched
the police horse?
157
00:06:20,754 --> 00:06:23,048
- Mom, I was aiming
for the Mountie, okay?
158
00:06:23,173 --> 00:06:26,427
And no. It's by someone
named Luke Mittal.
159
00:06:26,593 --> 00:06:30,555
- Ugh, that's your cousin Amit.
I heard he changed his name.
160
00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:34,394
- Vomit Comet Amit?
(gurgles)
161
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,478
- He is the worst.
162
00:06:35,603 --> 00:06:37,062
Always tattling
on everyone and...
163
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:38,398
(blowing raspberries)
...throwing up everywhere.
164
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:39,482
- I heard he lived in Calgary
165
00:06:39,607 --> 00:06:41,317
with my rat bastard brother.
166
00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:44,403
- Well, it looks like
he lives in Toronto now
167
00:06:44,569 --> 00:06:45,904
and is a court clerk.
168
00:06:46,029 --> 00:06:47,656
- Well, I don't know
why Amit is messing with me,
169
00:06:47,781 --> 00:06:50,410
but I'm telling you this,
it ends right now.
170
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:50,660
- Yeah.
171
00:06:51,952 --> 00:06:53,913
- Or first thing tomorrow.
172
00:06:54,413 --> 00:06:55,288
- Okay.
173
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:57,415
(rhythmic music)
174
00:07:00,627 --> 00:07:02,379
- So, you're welcome.
175
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:04,214
- It's done?
176
00:07:04,339 --> 00:07:05,675
- Your peace bond is no more.
Poof!
177
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,134
- That's amazing,
thank you.
178
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:09,011
I thought you were
just gonna get me legal advice.
179
00:07:09,137 --> 00:07:11,639
- Astrid, I'm a man of action!
I get things done.
180
00:07:11,805 --> 00:07:14,475
Now you can feel free to blast
your music all night long
181
00:07:14,641 --> 00:07:16,935
and Lucy won't be able
to say a thing about it.
182
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,980
- Lucy? Do you mean Luke?
183
00:07:20,148 --> 00:07:23,024
- Did you say Luke?
- Luke.
184
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,694
- Huh. Huh.
185
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,487
I may have made the wrong
peace bond disappear.
186
00:07:27,654 --> 00:07:29,531
- Who's Lucy?
- I don't know,
187
00:07:29,656 --> 00:07:31,783
but she sounds
like a real shrew.
188
00:07:31,908 --> 00:07:33,952
- Leonard, can you help me
with my actual peace bond?
189
00:07:34,077 --> 00:07:36,788
- Astrid!
You want another favour?
190
00:07:36,913 --> 00:07:38,790
I should take out
a peace bond on you.
191
00:07:38,958 --> 00:07:43,463
I guess Lucy's gonna be upset
when her property taxes go up.
192
00:07:43,629 --> 00:07:45,298
Yeah, I screwed up.
193
00:07:45,839 --> 00:07:47,757
(curious music plays)
194
00:07:49,009 --> 00:07:50,470
- I'm just gonna...
195
00:07:50,595 --> 00:07:52,471
(angelic choir vocalizes)
196
00:07:53,680 --> 00:07:55,557
(sighs heavily)
(James stutters)
197
00:07:55,682 --> 00:07:58,560
- My stupid cousin
is pranking me.
198
00:07:58,685 --> 00:08:02,482
For no reason. I'm just gonna
have a nice, calm,
199
00:08:02,607 --> 00:08:04,817
mature conversation
with that puke face little turd,
200
00:08:04,983 --> 00:08:08,362
and then you and Mommy
are gonna see that mummy.
201
00:08:08,528 --> 00:08:09,988
- Yes!
(James): Oh, wait...
202
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,240
(mumbling)
203
00:08:11,365 --> 00:08:14,201
Hey, I'm just gonna pop in here
and grab that guy.
204
00:08:14,367 --> 00:08:15,536
Oh, God!
205
00:08:15,702 --> 00:08:17,413
All right guys, family meeting.
206
00:08:17,538 --> 00:08:19,915
We are here to talk...
Felix, headphones.
207
00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:22,043
We are here to talk
about the new chair.
208
00:08:22,209 --> 00:08:24,252
- Which is just
for Mommy and Daddy.
209
00:08:24,377 --> 00:08:25,295
- Why can't I use it?
210
00:08:25,420 --> 00:08:27,048
- You guys are not careful
with furniture.
211
00:08:27,214 --> 00:08:28,507
- Yes, we are.
212
00:08:28,632 --> 00:08:29,675
- You're drawing on the table.
213
00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,761
- I don't know what counts
as furniture.
214
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,764
- What's so good about
this chair? How much was it?
215
00:08:34,889 --> 00:08:37,350
- The Van De Üssan
is not about the money,
216
00:08:37,517 --> 00:08:40,186
it's about the principle.
- 2,500 bucks?
217
00:08:40,352 --> 00:08:41,604
- What? Lemme see.
That's less than what
I paid for it.
218
00:08:41,729 --> 00:08:43,773
- Maybe I shouldn't
touch the chair.
219
00:08:43,898 --> 00:08:45,524
- We're already
not allowed to touch stuff
220
00:08:45,649 --> 00:08:47,902
in your room and the birthday
present cupboard.
221
00:08:48,068 --> 00:08:50,403
- And now Morris is allowed
to climb all over the chair?
222
00:08:50,571 --> 00:08:51,279
- What?
- Hmm? What?
223
00:08:51,404 --> 00:08:53,032
No, no, no.
- He was just here.
224
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:54,700
(Viv): Maybe Morris should
live outside.
225
00:08:54,866 --> 00:08:57,870
- There it is.
(Morris): I wanna go outside.
226
00:08:59,496 --> 00:09:01,706
- Why is there already
a stain on this chair?
227
00:09:01,874 --> 00:09:03,960
- Uh, Viv tried
pulling me off the chair
228
00:09:04,085 --> 00:09:05,794
while I was carefully
drinking my juice.
229
00:09:05,919 --> 00:09:08,673
- That was before the rules.
I won't do that from now on.
230
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:11,634
(curious music plays)
231
00:09:14,010 --> 00:09:16,972
- Luke, it's wonderful
to see you again.
232
00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:18,807
- Hi.
- Okay. She's gotta stay
233
00:09:18,932 --> 00:09:22,144
at least 30 feet away from me.
It's the law!
234
00:09:24,437 --> 00:09:26,481
(Astrid): So, I guess the first
question for me is,
235
00:09:26,606 --> 00:09:27,732
why the peace bond?
236
00:09:27,857 --> 00:09:29,818
What, what did I ever
do to you, Amit?
237
00:09:29,943 --> 00:09:31,611
- It's Luke now, actually.
238
00:09:31,778 --> 00:09:34,322
Yeah, I had to change my name
239
00:09:34,447 --> 00:09:37,409
after years of you guys
calling me Vom... (gags).
240
00:09:37,576 --> 00:09:38,660
- And you went with Luke?
241
00:09:38,785 --> 00:09:40,413
- You guys ruined
my entire childhood
242
00:09:40,538 --> 00:09:43,081
with your bullying.
(Astrid): We were all kids!
243
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,000
Where's Dawn's peace bond, huh?
244
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:45,835
You snotty, little sneak.
245
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:47,919
You're always running to Mommy.
246
00:09:48,044 --> 00:09:48,754
(mocks): Ew, Mommy!
247
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:52,091
- Uh, what, what Astrid means
248
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,634
is that we've all grown a lot,
249
00:09:53,801 --> 00:09:56,761
and we're family.
250
00:09:56,886 --> 00:09:59,056
What will it take
for you to drop the bond?
251
00:09:59,181 --> 00:10:01,975
- Well, when Mataji died,
252
00:10:02,143 --> 00:10:07,188
she gave Nisha Auntie
two golden elephant statues.
253
00:10:07,898 --> 00:10:09,107
I want them.
254
00:10:09,232 --> 00:10:10,985
- But those aren't ours to give.
255
00:10:11,152 --> 00:10:13,361
I mean, what if Mom
doesn't wanna part with them?
256
00:10:13,486 --> 00:10:15,615
- No statues,
257
00:10:15,780 --> 00:10:16,865
no revoking the peace bond.
258
00:10:16,990 --> 00:10:19,326
- (bleep) Damn you, Luke!
259
00:10:19,493 --> 00:10:20,870
(bleep) Damn you!
Luke, I'm gonna kill you.
260
00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:23,706
I'm gonna literally
kill you, Luke!
261
00:10:24,581 --> 00:10:27,460
d ers a,
262
00:10:27,585 --> 00:10:30,462
but when they spill
on linens. Ooof!
263
00:10:30,587 --> 00:10:34,133
Oh, no! Stains everywhere!
264
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:37,470
Laundry Buddy here
to turn that "L" into a dub.
265
00:10:37,635 --> 00:10:39,388
- These captions
are not helping me.
266
00:10:39,513 --> 00:10:41,765
- So, let the vinegar
chill with the stain,
267
00:10:41,890 --> 00:10:43,475
and then dab with
my fabric cleaning mix
268
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:46,979
and warm water.
You got it.
269
00:10:47,104 --> 00:10:48,648
- Maybe Dad can dab
the couch after.
270
00:10:48,813 --> 00:10:50,899
- We don't care about the couch.
We care about the Van De Üssan.
271
00:10:51,024 --> 00:10:52,485
- And remember, don't do this
on a bougie chair,
272
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:55,653
like a Polk or a Van De Üssan
or else you're gonna erode
273
00:10:55,779 --> 00:10:58,323
the stain guard
and set the stain permanently.
274
00:10:58,448 --> 00:11:00,658
And you don't want that!
(explosion)
275
00:11:00,784 --> 00:11:03,788
- Now he's saying that?
- Couch ruined!
276
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:04,996
- Can we watch another one?
277
00:11:05,121 --> 00:11:07,332
(Laundry Buddy): Smash those
likes and subscribe
278
00:11:07,500 --> 00:11:09,501
for some more dope laundry tips.
(James grumbles)
279
00:11:09,668 --> 00:11:11,003
(Dawn): Did you bring
the statues?
280
00:11:11,128 --> 00:11:12,504
(Nisha): Yes!
And that reminds me
281
00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:14,173
of something else
you need to see.
282
00:11:14,298 --> 00:11:17,301
This is all the info
you'll need when I die,
283
00:11:17,426 --> 00:11:18,510
all in one place.
- You can't die, Mom, please.
284
00:11:18,677 --> 00:11:20,428
- No, don't say that.
- Grow up.
285
00:11:20,553 --> 00:11:23,099
It's my will
and where my money is
286
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:24,307
and how to get at it.
287
00:11:24,432 --> 00:11:25,518
I keep it in the garage
near the broken bird feeder
288
00:11:25,683 --> 00:11:27,852
that impaled the raccoon.
289
00:11:27,977 --> 00:11:29,480
- Um, I see that Astrid is
inheriting more money than me?
290
00:11:29,605 --> 00:11:33,234
(gasps)
What, is that because
she's less well off?
291
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:34,692
- She has more kids.
292
00:11:34,818 --> 00:11:37,321
Look, any money I leave
is to help the kiddos.
293
00:11:37,446 --> 00:11:39,447
- Oh, in your face, Dawn!
294
00:11:39,572 --> 00:11:40,865
Ha, ha. You said having three
295
00:11:41,033 --> 00:11:42,618
would turn my life
upside down.
296
00:11:43,744 --> 00:11:46,663
(Dawn): Aw.
- Oh, remember these guys?
297
00:11:46,788 --> 00:11:50,292
Hey yo, Dawn!
Whatcha slurpin' on over there?
298
00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:50,875
(laughs)
- Oh, my God, wait,
299
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,544
what was my voice?
300
00:11:52,711 --> 00:11:56,048
(deep voice): The tea,
it's burnin' my trunk.
301
00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:57,133
It burned it.
302
00:11:57,258 --> 00:11:59,301
- Yeah, your elephant
was very tragic.
303
00:11:59,427 --> 00:12:00,177
- Mmm.
304
00:12:00,302 --> 00:12:01,636
- My nasty brother
got everything
305
00:12:01,761 --> 00:12:03,514
when your Nanima died.
Except these.
306
00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,557
I left them for you.
307
00:12:04,682 --> 00:12:06,225
(tender music plays)
308
00:12:06,392 --> 00:12:07,559
It's all in the binder.
309
00:12:07,725 --> 00:12:11,105
Harvest my organs, burn my body.
All that crap.
310
00:12:12,188 --> 00:12:13,481
- Yikes.
311
00:12:15,359 --> 00:12:16,402
(tapping on door)
312
00:12:16,568 --> 00:12:18,320
(James): I know I said
I need a minute,
313
00:12:18,446 --> 00:12:19,321
but I need 10 minutes.
314
00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:22,073
- Hey, it's me, Bo.
315
00:12:22,198 --> 00:12:22,991
The kids called.
316
00:12:23,116 --> 00:12:24,826
They thought you might
need my help.
317
00:12:24,951 --> 00:12:25,952
- Well, chair's ruined,
318
00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,581
so got all the help
I need for today. Thank you.
319
00:12:28,706 --> 00:12:31,583
- James, it's not your fault.
320
00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:34,586
- I know it's not!
I told you I wasn't ready
321
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:37,005
for a chair this impressive, Bo.
322
00:12:37,130 --> 00:12:39,258
- One day,
the kids will grow up,
323
00:12:39,383 --> 00:12:42,427
leave for college, and will only
return for the holidays.
324
00:12:42,552 --> 00:12:43,636
- Yeah, you're right.
325
00:12:43,803 --> 00:12:46,932
I should be spending my energy
on people and not things.
326
00:12:47,057 --> 00:12:49,601
- No. I meant, you should wait
to enjoy the Van De Üssan
327
00:12:49,726 --> 00:12:52,104
until after the kids are gone.
328
00:12:52,270 --> 00:12:56,567
Also, I think the store sells
specialty cleaning products so.
329
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,527
(Felix): Go, slide it in.
(Viv): Okay.
330
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,243
- Well, now,
they're being adorable.
331
00:13:06,368 --> 00:13:07,577
Come in.
332
00:13:08,412 --> 00:13:10,623
- We put some money in there.
- I see that.
333
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,541
But I don't need
your birthday money, okay?
334
00:13:12,666 --> 00:13:15,043
What I do need is an apology.
335
00:13:15,168 --> 00:13:17,212
- Sorry.
- I'm sorry about the juice.
336
00:13:17,337 --> 00:13:18,464
Sorry.
- Me too. Sorry.
337
00:13:18,589 --> 00:13:20,423
- Part of getting older
is taking care of your stuff.
338
00:13:20,548 --> 00:13:23,635
But a bigger part is admitting
when you did something wrong.
339
00:13:24,260 --> 00:13:26,971
- I know
where you hide chocolate,
and sometimes I eat it.
340
00:13:27,096 --> 00:13:28,557
- Oh, well, thank you--
- I cut my hair by accident,
341
00:13:28,682 --> 00:13:31,268
but on purpose,
and then I hid the hair.
342
00:13:31,393 --> 00:13:32,477
- When?
- Years ago.
343
00:13:32,644 --> 00:13:34,312
- Okay, guys, first thing
tomorrow morning,
344
00:13:34,480 --> 00:13:36,231
we're going back to
that weirdo furniture shop
345
00:13:36,356 --> 00:13:37,982
and we're gonna see
what kinda specialty cleaning
products they got.
346
00:13:38,107 --> 00:13:39,485
- What are we gonna do now?
347
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:40,945
- We are gonna go
to the grocery store
348
00:13:41,070 --> 00:13:42,488
and get ourselves some dinner.
We got no food!
349
00:13:42,654 --> 00:13:44,822
(all cheering)
350
00:13:44,948 --> 00:13:46,325
(Viv): Pizza! Pizza!
351
00:13:46,450 --> 00:13:49,035
- I might not be here
when you get back.
352
00:13:51,371 --> 00:13:52,748
- We should not be here.
353
00:13:52,873 --> 00:13:55,417
- I wanna climb
this stuff so bad.
354
00:13:55,543 --> 00:13:56,210
- Yeah, well, don't.
355
00:13:56,376 --> 00:13:57,586
- Can I help you with anything?
356
00:13:57,711 --> 00:13:59,087
- Hi, I was in here
the other day.
357
00:13:59,212 --> 00:14:01,215
I bought a Van De Üssan
with my brother-in-law, Bo.
358
00:14:02,466 --> 00:14:03,509
- Okay.
359
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:05,677
- Okay, I was just here
360
00:14:05,802 --> 00:14:07,011
to see if there were
any cleaning supplies?
361
00:14:07,178 --> 00:14:08,806
I got a small stain
on the seat cushion.
362
00:14:08,931 --> 00:14:11,307
- Yeah, we'll need a lot.
Hi, I'm Felix Berney.
363
00:14:11,432 --> 00:14:13,269
- Felix, why don't you go
take your siblings
364
00:14:13,394 --> 00:14:14,602
and stand in a corner?
365
00:14:15,354 --> 00:14:17,523
- Okay. Uh, so we don't
actually have cleaning products,
366
00:14:17,648 --> 00:14:19,774
but there is a cleaning service
367
00:14:19,899 --> 00:14:21,485
that takes about
two to three weeks.
368
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:24,697
But we can rent you
some sit-ware in the meantime.
369
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,030
(machine beeps)
- Oh, there it is.
370
00:14:26,155 --> 00:14:28,283
Ah, you know what?
I don't need sit-ware.
371
00:14:28,408 --> 00:14:30,535
I would love to know
about that cleaning service.
372
00:14:30,660 --> 00:14:34,163
But before I buy something
without checking the price,
how much is the price?
373
00:14:34,289 --> 00:14:37,375
- Oh, let me get you a quote.
- Okay, yeah.
374
00:14:43,756 --> 00:14:45,551
- Look it, Morris.
375
00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:49,388
- Hey! Hey!
This is not a toy.
376
00:14:49,554 --> 00:14:52,057
You're gonna get your sticky,
greasy fingers all over it.
377
00:14:52,224 --> 00:14:53,642
- My hands are sticky,
but not greasy.
378
00:14:53,767 --> 00:14:57,062
- Hey, excuse me. Excuse me,
don't talk to my kids like that
379
00:14:57,187 --> 00:15:00,607
over something stupid
like a bird that's... $800?
380
00:15:01,191 --> 00:15:03,235
Okay, well her hands
are not sticky or greasy.
381
00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:04,820
- But they are sticky.
382
00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,322
- Okay, you know what?
Let's get outta here.
383
00:15:06,447 --> 00:15:07,572
We don't need
this ding-dong store.
384
00:15:07,740 --> 00:15:09,908
Nobody deserves
to be talked to that rudely.
385
00:15:10,033 --> 00:15:11,659
- But I need to pee.
386
00:15:13,202 --> 00:15:15,288
- Do you have a washroom
we could use?
387
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:19,918
(Dawn): Thanks for agreeing
to be within 30 feet of Astrid.
388
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,836
- Here's your coffee.
389
00:15:21,961 --> 00:15:24,923
And uh, were you serious
about the straw?
390
00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:26,174
- Yes.
391
00:15:27,967 --> 00:15:29,677
I'm impressed
with your Van De Üssan.
392
00:15:30,928 --> 00:15:34,557
Now this, this is art.
393
00:15:34,682 --> 00:15:37,226
- Luke, we wanted to acknowledge
394
00:15:37,352 --> 00:15:38,604
that we really hurt you
all those years ago.
395
00:15:38,729 --> 00:15:42,106
We made you feel bad
about your name.
396
00:15:42,231 --> 00:15:48,197
- And other behaviours that
were totally normal for...
397
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,572
- A kid.
398
00:15:49,697 --> 00:15:53,284
- Well, I agree,
you guys sucked.
399
00:15:53,451 --> 00:15:56,538
But thank you.
I really appreciate that.
400
00:15:56,996 --> 00:16:00,292
So, where are those statues?
401
00:16:00,458 --> 00:16:01,626
- Uh...
- Mmm, yeah.
402
00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:02,711
Luke, um, we're actually
gonna keep those.
403
00:16:02,836 --> 00:16:05,965
- What? What the frig?
404
00:16:06,130 --> 00:16:06,631
You said you'd give those to me!
405
00:16:06,798 --> 00:16:09,301
You know...
(chuckles)
406
00:16:09,426 --> 00:16:11,220
This is just like when you said
there was a fizz candy
407
00:16:11,345 --> 00:16:13,138
behind the furnace, and then
you flipped the lights out.
408
00:16:13,263 --> 00:16:14,431
- I personally think
that's different.
409
00:16:14,556 --> 00:16:17,393
- You made fun of my name
until I hated it!
410
00:16:17,518 --> 00:16:21,105
- When we were kids!
Amit is a fine name.
411
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:22,940
- Oh, Dawn's about
to have a baby.
412
00:16:23,065 --> 00:16:25,109
Maybe she can call them Amit.
413
00:16:25,234 --> 00:16:26,317
- No.
414
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:28,111
- Yeah, it's not a knock
on the name,
415
00:16:28,236 --> 00:16:30,154
we just have some really
negative associations with it.
416
00:16:30,279 --> 00:16:31,823
- Oh, but you guys
are just perfect?
417
00:16:31,948 --> 00:16:34,326
Turning out all beautiful
with your cool careers
418
00:16:34,451 --> 00:16:38,496
and your stable marriages?
Huh, Mrs. Van De Üssan?
419
00:16:38,621 --> 00:16:40,749
And Mrs... Perfect Üssan?
420
00:16:40,874 --> 00:16:42,668
With your perfectly
symmetrical face
421
00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,753
and your life
planned out perfectly.
422
00:16:44,878 --> 00:16:47,965
- Are these supposed
to be insults?
423
00:16:48,090 --> 00:16:51,592
(sobs)
- Excuse me.
424
00:16:51,969 --> 00:16:54,346
- You stay here.
425
00:16:54,471 --> 00:16:57,140
Not on the Van De Üssan,
on the couch or the floor.
426
00:16:59,100 --> 00:16:59,851
(blows nose loudly)
427
00:16:59,976 --> 00:17:01,854
Dawn?
428
00:17:02,019 --> 00:17:05,148
- This doesn't smell
like beach waves.
429
00:17:05,273 --> 00:17:07,526
- Yeah, that might sting
in a second.
430
00:17:08,152 --> 00:17:11,488
- I'm sorry, but my life
isn't perfectly planned out.
431
00:17:11,613 --> 00:17:12,948
It's chaos.
432
00:17:13,073 --> 00:17:14,700
- You have a champagne fridge.
How is your life chaos?
433
00:17:14,825 --> 00:17:16,868
- I'm having another baby.
434
00:17:16,993 --> 00:17:18,871
- Yeah, Dawn, I know.
435
00:17:19,038 --> 00:17:23,166
- No, I'm having another,
another baby.
436
00:17:24,751 --> 00:17:26,170
I'm pregnant.
437
00:17:31,799 --> 00:17:34,260
- How, how do we feel
about that?
438
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:36,680
- I'm happy and surprised.
439
00:17:37,388 --> 00:17:40,057
But two babies?
That is not what we planned.
440
00:17:40,224 --> 00:17:42,769
- Yeah, well, you know,
maybe this means
441
00:17:42,935 --> 00:17:45,564
that for once in your life
you have to rethink the plan.
442
00:17:45,730 --> 00:17:47,441
And that's... that's exciting.
443
00:17:47,607 --> 00:17:48,776
- I haven't told Bo.
444
00:17:48,942 --> 00:17:50,067
I mean, every time
I have another baby,
445
00:17:50,234 --> 00:17:52,112
he loses his marbles
and runs away.
446
00:17:52,278 --> 00:17:54,239
I haven't told work
because it's their policy
447
00:17:54,405 --> 00:17:56,741
to fire women
who take extended mat leave.
448
00:17:56,909 --> 00:17:59,118
- Bastards!
- I created that policy.
449
00:17:59,286 --> 00:18:00,621
- Dawn, you are not gonna
get fired,
450
00:18:00,788 --> 00:18:02,873
and you are not gonna lose Bo.
451
00:18:02,998 --> 00:18:06,250
You held it together
when Bo fell apart.
452
00:18:06,417 --> 00:18:08,127
You can do anything.
453
00:18:08,295 --> 00:18:11,423
- Except hold it together
in front of our stupid cousin.
454
00:18:11,798 --> 00:18:15,426
- His insults are right.
We're adults with adult lives.
455
00:18:15,594 --> 00:18:17,011
He can keep the statues.
456
00:18:17,136 --> 00:18:18,596
We're passing down something
so much better
457
00:18:18,763 --> 00:18:21,557
to our kids, kick-ass DNA.
458
00:18:21,682 --> 00:18:25,561
(sniffles)
- Oh, you're right.
459
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:29,357
We will also be passing down
a lot of land
460
00:18:29,482 --> 00:18:32,111
in Northern Ontario,
and a small fortune.
461
00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:34,779
(curious music plays)
462
00:18:40,160 --> 00:18:44,498
- I got some real insults now,
"Ass-turd."
463
00:18:44,664 --> 00:18:45,749
(Dawn scoffs)
- Terrible.
464
00:18:45,874 --> 00:18:47,917
Luke, we're giving you
the statues.
465
00:18:48,042 --> 00:18:49,586
- We hope they ease your pain.
466
00:18:49,711 --> 00:18:50,796
- Oh, I think they will.
467
00:18:50,962 --> 00:18:52,798
I'm pretty sure these guys
are valuable.
468
00:18:52,964 --> 00:18:56,300
- You're gonna sell them?
- You make me sick, Puke.
469
00:18:56,468 --> 00:18:57,928
(gags)
- Don't...
470
00:18:58,053 --> 00:19:00,137
You can't say "puke."
(gags)
471
00:19:00,305 --> 00:19:01,807
- But you just said "puke."
(gags)
472
00:19:01,973 --> 00:19:03,517
I'm not supposed to say "puke?"
You want me to?
473
00:19:03,683 --> 00:19:05,644
(James): Hey, sorry we're late.
Got hung up at the park.
474
00:19:05,810 --> 00:19:07,395
(Felix): Hi, Mom.
(Dawn): Hi.
475
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:09,940
- Is this your family?
(Astrid): Yeah, my family.
476
00:19:10,065 --> 00:19:11,942
- I'm 100 percent
ready for the museum.
477
00:19:12,067 --> 00:19:13,152
I'm not scared
of mummies anymore.
478
00:19:13,277 --> 00:19:15,612
- What changed your mind?
- I found a mummy squirrel.
479
00:19:15,737 --> 00:19:18,240
- Oh, my God!
It's a dead squirrel! Viv!
480
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:19,866
- Was it in there
the whole time?
481
00:19:20,032 --> 00:19:21,492
- It's an exhibit, see?
(Luke vomits)
482
00:19:21,660 --> 00:19:23,703
- No, not the Van De Üssan!
(Morris): Yucky!
483
00:19:23,871 --> 00:19:25,955
(James grunts)
484
00:19:29,585 --> 00:19:31,961
- Please don't tell my father
I threw up in your home.
485
00:19:32,086 --> 00:19:33,963
- On our stupid expensive chair.
486
00:19:34,088 --> 00:19:35,965
- Yes, I'll pay for it
to be cleaned.
487
00:19:36,090 --> 00:19:37,425
I just don't have
the money right now.
488
00:19:37,550 --> 00:19:40,761
- Really? You said
those statues were valuable.
489
00:19:40,887 --> 00:19:42,972
(Astrid sucks air)
490
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:49,896
- Hey, yeah, this feels right.
491
00:19:50,063 --> 00:19:54,317
(Dawn, deep): Wherever I go,
I feel isolation and despair.
492
00:19:54,442 --> 00:19:56,028
(laughs)
493
00:19:56,193 --> 00:19:59,323
- Hey, Twinkle Toes,
what about that peace bond?
494
00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,407
- Consider it withdrawn.
495
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:03,993
(calm music plays)
496
00:20:04,118 --> 00:20:05,746
Can I get some more water
and a clean straw?
497
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:07,830
And one ice.
498
00:20:09,540 --> 00:20:11,667
(Astrid): Adulthood was supposed
to come with nicer clothes,
499
00:20:11,792 --> 00:20:14,462
nicer furniture, nicer food.
500
00:20:14,587 --> 00:20:18,258
(James): But then you had kids,
and uh, no.
501
00:20:18,424 --> 00:20:21,053
Maybe one day you'll have a home
full of stuff you like.
502
00:20:21,220 --> 00:20:24,056
(groaning)
- Oh, that's better.
503
00:20:24,221 --> 00:20:26,642
(Astrid): But for now,
it's full of people you love,
504
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:30,561
so enjoy the messy life
you share with your kids
while you can.
505
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:31,646
(Morris): Yay.
506
00:20:31,771 --> 00:20:33,773
(kids laughing)
507
00:20:37,361 --> 00:20:39,738
- Oh, they hope you return
to buy something else.
508
00:20:39,904 --> 00:20:41,781
(Bo and Harper laugh)
509
00:20:41,949 --> 00:20:42,865
- Ha.
510
00:20:42,990 --> 00:20:44,867
- I would like
to interest you though,
511
00:20:44,992 --> 00:20:47,246
in a monthly ottoman
subscription?
512
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,497
(gasps)
513
00:20:48,622 --> 00:20:50,414
Where we deliver an ottoman
to your house every month.
514
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:51,959
- It feels like
I'm just gonna end up
515
00:20:52,125 --> 00:20:53,085
with a house full of ottomans.
516
00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,544
- It's gonna be
an Ottoman Empire.
517
00:20:54,670 --> 00:20:57,088
(laughing)
- So fast.
518
00:20:57,256 --> 00:20:57,713
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
519
00:20:57,838 --> 00:21:00,049
- Yeah.
(sighing)
520
00:21:00,174 --> 00:21:02,051
- So, can I get that
ready for you?
521
00:21:02,176 --> 00:21:05,137
- No, I'm not interested
in that actually at all.
522
00:21:05,305 --> 00:21:07,557
(theme music)
523
00:21:32,499 --> 00:21:35,335
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39487
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