All language subtitles for Grosse.Pointe.S01E11

Previously on "Grosse
Pointe Garden Society"...

- I guess I wasn't around much.
- But you are now.

- So what do you got?
- Some real dirt on Brett.

- What'd he do?
- Your wife.

Ought to give it to you, man.
Really underestimated you.

- How far along are you?
- Please don't tell him.

You do not want to be
alone with me right now.

When Patty was a weather girl,

she worked with Skip Harding.

Was he the one who
sexually harassed her?

- More mutual.
- As long as you have a dog,

I'll never have a grandchild.

She got rid of Gail.

Maybe she also got rid of Molly.

You still have the gun, right?

Then all we need is Tucker

to call his old FBI buddies,
and they'll run tests.

Knock it off!

He's in love with my wife, Dad.

Marilyn has got a lot of nerve.

It's not that bad.

Table 13?

We don't know where that is.

Look, this isn't the first time

she's pulled a stunt like this.

Remember our table at Smiles for Miles?

They had to send a search party

- to refill our bread basket.
- Exactly, exactly.

Oh, hey, what about these, huh?

They're neon.

Well yeah, but this is what's hip now.

Our rave days are over, woman.

Stop.

Look, all I'm saying
is, our daughter-in-law

is on the gala committee.

We deserve better than steerage.

We'll be on the dance floor anyway.

Oh, with that back of yours?

No, I don't think so.

Doesn't matter where you sit, my dear.

It's that you can afford to be there.

I wish that were enough.

This is Grosse Pointe.

Oh, hey, what about those?

Look.

Dougie has these.

- Old school.
- Yeah, but I love them.

You should try them on.

Maybe I will.

Let's see if they have them in women's.

- Do you...
- Absolutely. Be right there.

Stitching a quilt is
like planting a garden.

Just like you pull out dead flowers

to birth new life,

pieces of discarded fabric come together

to create something beautiful.

But why waste your time planting

something that'll die
when a quilt lasts forever?

Lose the succulents, Donna.

No, no, no, closer to the bar.

It's a fundraiser. Gotta keep people

good and drunk while they're gambling.

Salad forks on the outside, please.

Thank you.

Ooh, what the hell is Pet Jet?

Private jet for your pet, silly.

My ex-husband donated it.

He's an investor.

Um, people actually use this?

Well, not as much as Pet Jet Vet,

where you can medevac
your pet anywhere in the world

to a concierge vet.

Oh, that makes way more sense.

You know, you should try and win that

for that new puppy of yours, Alice.

Turns out our landlord isn't
as dog-friendly as we hoped.

You lost another fur baby?

Oh, you poor thing.

You've had way too much drama lately.

Yeah, that is why tonight
is going to be drama-free.

That's right, check your worries

with your coats, bitches.

And dance like nobody's watching.

Uh, dance like everybody's watching.

Here she is.

- Oh, wow!
- Oh, cool.

Amazing.

Donna, get the steamer.

So what are we looking at here, Doc?

Cervix is nice and closed.

Ah, perfect for the first trimester.

Will you get out of there?

Well, it's not like I
haven't seen it before.

- Eyes above the equator, sir.
- Don't worry, Dad.

There'll be plenty of
ways you can participate.

He's not the dad.

Sorry, emergency.

Hi, Pam.

What I was wondering was,

if the hotel doesn't
have a fitness center,

why am I flying out a trainer?

So who's going to
help you with the baby?

My housekeeper.

Oh, she works nights?

There's literally nothing
she won't do for money.

And where were you planning on delivery?

Well, I did it in the girls'
locker room first time.

So I'm open to any and all ideas.

So how did we get here, Birdie?

OK, so you know when
you're, like, rushing to lunch,

and you get in your car and you realize

you forgot your sunglasses.

And then you debate, do I
go back inside and be late,

or do I just squint my
way through the day

and risk a few extra wrinkles?

Uh-huh.

Now imagine the sunglasses
are my birth control pills.

Ah.

That sounds real.

It's about as real as it gets.

I know this can all be overwhelming,

but I'm here, anything you need.

Dr. Evans?

What am I supposed to do?

That one I can't help you with.

I should have never picked
so many shellfish appetizers.

Babe, it's going to go great. Come on.

I'm going to have Donna
pick up some EpiPens.

Oh, no, no, no!

Don't tell me they forgot
the props for the photo booth.

Julie has to leave by 10:00.

OK, deep breaths.

I'll relieve the babysitter.

I just...

I want tonight to be perfect.

What is it?

Something that could make your night

a little less perfect.

It's your friend's dog.

What if it's good news?

What if it's bad?

Maybe the bullet doesn't match.

Or it does.

- What do I do?
- Let's not open it.

But... I want to.

Personally, I'd rather
gamble at the roulette wheel.

Gotta give it to you, man.

Really underestimated you.

I got fired today.

Just bring back the
axe when you're done.

What's up?

I think we probably both know what's up.

Uh, excuse me.

You guys still open?

Uh, sorry, we're closed
tonight for the garden gala.

I'll come back tomorrow.

So what do you want, an apology?

You humiliated me in
front of the entire firm.

You tried to send me to jail.

Now you're taking my wife too?

So what, are you going to kill me?

I'll just take your kids.

Oh, we're the black
Cadillac, second from front.

Have a nice evening.

- Ooh, champagne.
- Yes, please.

- Thank you.
- Ooh, thank you.

- Howdy.
- Hi. Good to see you.

How is Melanie Dalton at table nine?

Her husband makes all
the car mats for the big three.

Did he use the same
material to make her dress?

Oh, stop, that's bad.

Well, here we are.

Not so bad.

But we're at table 13.

Not anymore.

No one puts Patty in the corner.

Well, now it's going to
be a night to remember.

Brett.

Oh, hey.

I called you earlier to see

what time you were going to get here.

Yeah, yeah, I've just been swamped

organizing this auction stuff.

Hmm, three sessions
with a certified life coach.

Yeah, I guess that's all it takes

to get your life in order, huh?

I might need a few more.

You look beautiful.

You're not so bad
yourself under all the dirt.

Well, I still can't figure
out the bow tie thing.

Oh.

License to kill.

Hmm.

Melissa...

Have you been thinking
what I've been thinking?

Well, it depends on
what you've been thinking.

Well, what have you been thinking?

I think... you should go first.

OK, um, mine's about a kiss.

I just...

I don't know, it kind of
felt like something more.

Maybe

it was just nostalgia.

OK, this is the part where
you tell me that I'm crazy.

I can't.

Well, then put me out of my misery.

How?

Just tell me how you feel.

Hey, hey, bud. Mind
if I steal my wife back?

Yeah, she's all yours.

Let's find our table.

Ooh.

Can barely tell it's a rental.

- Shall we?
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.

Place your bets.

Why aren't you betting?

I don't feel very lucky.

I take great offense to that.

How is this about you?

Find a more fabulous
nanny this side of the pond.

This just isn't how I pictured

doing it as a grown up, OK?

Doesn't that hot cop of yours
have some skin in this game?

I can't tell Joel.

Not very woke of you.

What if he doesn't want it?

What if he does?

Well, what if I don't?

Then as soon as you plump
up, we'll send you off to the farm.

It's like I'm 16 all over again.

At least you have more money.

Why does the universe
keep doing this to me?

Because it's your chance
to get it right this time.

As long as we're bringing
the universe into this...

Stop.

Red, we do this together.

Black, farm.

You're insane.

All betting's closed.

Hey, that one of your
wife's signature cocktails?

Yeah, the Riviera.

Ah, barkeep, set me up with a Riviera.

It's none of my business,
but I saw that dude

disrespecting you earlier.

Who, Connor?

Yeah, know him from the kids' school.

Not a fan.

Can't help himself, I guess.

You don't have to take it.

Well, we have a
complicated relationship.

Seems simple to me.

What do you mean?

Let's just say I've dealt with a lot

of threats in my line of work.

- OK.
- We're no different today

than when we lived in caves.

I mean, we are drinking Rivieras.

They're growing on me.

I'm just saying, if someone
had laid hands on me like that,

they wouldn't find it so funny.

Hey, Brett.

Hey, look who finally showed up.

Welcome to Club Riviera.

Have you guys seen Doug?

He didn't come with you?

No.

She has your nose.

Gary's eyes.

How has he been with everything?

Amazing, OK? He does the night feeds.

He cleans the bottles.

Wow, that man owes you.

Mm-hmm, which is why he has promised

to win me a quilt for our baby room.

Well, you know, he's going
to have some stiff competition.

With who?

You know Patty's not
going to just let that go.

Why does she want it so bad, anyway?

For her grandchild.

You mean her imaginary grandchild?

- Amanda.
- Come on.

She would make a horrible grandmother.

- Oh, stop.
- What?

No one's in here.

That's so mean.

I'm sorry, but she is so judgy

and, like, totally insecure.

She's always been nice to me.

And she's always acting like

she is the queen of Grosse Pointe

when she's not even from here.

What?

Grew up in Grosse Ile.

- Shut up.
- Mm-hmm.

Ew!

Yeah.

The only way you are getting that quilt

is over my dead body.

Oh, my God.

Donna!

The auction is about to
start, and I have dry mouth.

- Mm-hmm.
- Run to CVS.

Get me a Blow Pop.

You know the grape kind with the gum?

Mm-hmm.

What's in your mouth?

Nothing.

Tell me I'm not smelling

a mushroom tart right now, Donna.

It was just one.

Well, eat a
prosciutto-wrapped asparagus.

No one wants those.

Oh.

Stop!

That's enough! Stop!

Brett, stop! Someone do something!

My God, stop!

Brett!

Help, help!

Hey, knock it off!

Get off my son!

Your son's a psycho!

Get the hell out of here.

How could you?

Who knows you better, Alice,
your husband or this joke?

I'll just take your kids.

I pick neither of you.

If someone had laid
hands on me like that,

they wouldn't find it so funny.

Just tell me how you feel.

What are you doing?

Telling you how I feel.

I'd recognize those curls anywhere.

Skip Harding?

WBIV's own.

Wow, wow, wow!

How long has it been?

Gosh.

Forever.

Oh, my.

Oops, you have a...

What? Oh.

Oh, no. Oh, gosh.

Looks like some dill from the endive.

Mm, did I get it?

Mm. Boy, do I miss that smile.

Place was never the same after you left.

Yeah, well, it was a fun time.

Oh, we had a lot of fun.

Well, that was another life.

Would you ever think about coming back?

- Oh, at my age?
- Why not?

No, no, no, no, no.

Not really built for it anymore.

Well, the Taj Mahal is 300 years old.

Once you get inside her,

it still takes your breath away.

OK.

Well, I'm not exactly camera-ready.

What does that got to
do with getting coffee?

Mm. Why would I get coffee?

Because you were the
best assistant at the station.

I was... I was the weather girl, Skip.

- Are you sure?
- I was on-air talent.

OK, OK, OK.

I mean, don't you remember?

"And now back to you, Skip, for sports."

- Right.
- Yeah, that was me.

- Mm-hmm.
- Me!

Of course. Of course. Yeah, I remember.

I remember.

But why did you keep bringing me coffee?

Because I stupidly
thought you'd appreciate it.

OK, don't freak out.

I appreciated everything
you had to offer.

I told him no vermouth,
but he added it anyway.

This is my wife, Brianna.

You haven't changed a bit.

I put Dougie in an Uber.

Thank you.

He's going up to the lake house

to cool his head.

That's a great idea.

I might meet him there tomorrow.

Is that it?

All right, everyone, it's the moment

you've all been waiting for!

One more thing.

Let's raise some money
to make our garden

really bloom this spring.

What do you say?

Let's go win you that quilt.

Here.

What is it?

Medicine.

Marilyn's going to have a stroke.

How many cups did we lose?

Basically 82 through 93.

I just... I have never seen
either of them like this.

OK, this isn't my most feminist moment,

but two guys fighting
over you is kind of hot.

Oh, OK, that was about
way more than you.

Also, we are fully ignoring the fact

that our little lady
here just got herself

a ticket to New York.

Yeah. Oh, my God.

How many magazines have
rejected you over the years?

Oh, I've lost track.

Alice, you just got your dream job.

This night couldn't get any worse.

Babe, I've got it.

We should brand these.

Like the Real Housewives, yeah?

How many of these have you had?

Well, you know...

what the hell's going on?

Oh, you know, Alice's
husband just went full ham.

- Yeah.
- Oh.

Thought you weren't going to tell them.

Tell us what?

- Oops.
- Nothing.

Well, it doesn't sound like nothing.

What did you not tell us?

Not now, Alice.

You got the results?

Oh, no.

Honey, this isn't...

Did Patty do it?

It's too much for tonight.

Just say it.

Up next, we have a lovely
vacation rental in Charlevoix

with a ski package for
four at Boyne Mountain,

- plus dinner at Tap 30.
- Hey.

So let's start the bidding at $1,500.

- Brett!
- I really want to make this right.

- Not the best time.
- OK, Steven,

get that vacay for your wife.

I don't know what happened.

Brett!

I lost control.

She's good, bro.

Part of me was, like, defending you.

Sit down, Brett.

Going three times. Sold!

And now the pièce de résistance.

Do I hear 2,500?

Keep in mind, this isn't
any old blanket, folks.

Each of these squares depicts

a little piece of Grosse Pointe history.

Ah, 2,500 for Amanda Mills.

Thank you, Amanda Mills.

Do I hear 3,000?

Can I go higher?

Sure.

3,000. OK.

We are just getting started here, folks.

Who wants to take it up a notch?

Hank, Hank, I'm looking at you.

Your wife's face is
telling me that you do.

There you go, 3,000.

Do I hear 3,500?

OK, put a little sizzle on that steak,

which was donated
tonight by Village Market.

Thank you, Village. 4,000?

Ooh, OK, there you go. Hot, hot, hot.

Do I hear 4,500?

4,500, you know what's next. 5,000.

Do I hear 5,000?

That bitch killed my dog.

Sorry, ma'am, that's not your car.

Well, what is taking so long?

We're really backed up.

What the hell are you doing?

We gotta talk, lady.

I know. I need to get home.

Yours is coming.

Well, tell them to hurry up.

It's an emergency!

What are you doing?

Going for a ride.

Will you please chill?

Oh, 'cause you're with child now?

OK, let me out.

What happened to women
lifting up other women?

That's just something women
like to say to other women.

Jesus!

OK, OK, you're totally right.

I don't deserve Joel,
and I don't deserve Ford.

You take and take and take!

And I don't deserve another kid, OK?

So what are you going to do?

Not try to be a mom again.

Get out.

Thank God.

Sorry, ma'am, this isn't your car.

Did you enjoy yourself tonight?

It's cool we won those tickets

to the "Starlight Express" revival.

I meant, did you enjoy
making a jackass out of me?

It was just a dance, Connor.

Didn't dance with me.

Am I not supposed to have a relationship

with my ex-husband?

You're not supposed to kiss him!

Don't know what you're talking about.

- Come on, Mel.
- Why would I...

I saw you.

How?

Put a PI on him.

For what?

For custody, for us.

God.

Brett was right all along.

I did what I had to do.

Yeah, for you.

What do you want from me, Melissa?

For you to decide what's more important,

your family or winning
some pissing contest

with my ex-husband.

I'm going to a hotel.

For how long?

Until you decide who
you want to dance with.

She's a total monster.

She didn't just shoot her.

She dragged her to a
park and left her there.

Psycho I get, but this is next level.

- She can't get away with this.
- Well, she already did.

What can we do to her?

Something awful.

Mm! Let's egg her house.

I'm not sure that has the
same emotional punch.

Takes the paint right off.

Someone should sleep with her husband.

Wait, Keith?

We film it, make it go viral.

She can never show her face
in Grosse Pointe ever again.

Mm, trust me, this town loves a scandal.

It's worth a try.

It's not enough.

She took away the thing
I love most in the world.

We're going to do the same to her.

Ow.

What are you doing?

Making a quesadilla.

At this hour?

I'm starving.

Dr. Rubenstein said the
late-night eating is doing

a number on your cholesterol.

Hey, get off my cheese, woman.

How about a nightcap?

What's that going to
do to my cholesterol?

I meant make me one.

It was a crazy night.

I'm just glad you finally got to see

what she's been doing to our son.

No wonder Dougie's been so moody.

Yeah, I barely recognize him.

Broken heart can change a man.

You know, she's affecting all of us.

Definitely stress we don't need.

And I just... I don't like
the person I've become.

Is that why you were flirting
with Skip Harding tonight?

I'm the gala chair.

No one can know I had
anything to do with this.

Ooh, we should rip out all the stitches!

Oh!

OK, not that I'm endorsing
destroying an auction item,

but what if we fold it up
and cut it into a pattern?

Ooh, like paper dolls!

Oh, Addie loves those.

Guys, we're trying to
prank a bitch, not do crafts.

Yeah, why are you guys
thinking so small, huh?

Ah.

Expand your horizons.

Is that what I think it is?

Whatever it is, I already like it.

Yeah, 15 horses of
gas-powered destruction.

Ooh, let's chip this
quilt like an elm, baby!

Not that I have
anything to do with this.

Uh-huh.

Wait, hold up. Hold up.
Don't start it yet.

What's the point if she's not
even here to see it happen?

Mm. Quilts in the woods.

- Why don't you just text her?
- Oh, Lord.

Ooh, I like that idea.

Come on, what do you say? Text her.

Text her. Text her. Text her.

- I should go home.
- Text her. Text her! Text her!

Tucker's going to wonder where I am.

Text her! Text her!

Yeah.

It's on all of us now.

Yeah!

Gotta admit, he still looks good.

Ugh, I wasn't flirting.

Very glossy.

Well, that kind of
gloss takes a village.

Of surgeons.

Do you ever think about him?

Yeah, yeah, I think he needs
to leave his face alone now.

You know what I mean, Patty.

He already can't blink
his eyes all the way shut.

Do you regret choosing me?

How can you ask me that
after all we've been through?

It's just...

Sometimes I think

about the life you could
have had without me.

Oh, honey, you've had too much to drink.

That's not an answer, Patty.

Do you know why I loved
sitting at that table tonight?

All of Grosse Pointe
could see you win that quilt.

Because I was sitting next to you.

That's my favorite place to be.

Thanks for letting me spend
so much money on my quilt.

Well, after everything that's happened,

I'm not sure if it's going
to end up in the nursery.

And I had a feeling it wasn't.

Then why'd you work on it so hard if...

it wasn't for our grandchild?

All that love had to go somewhere.

- You know what?
- Hmm?

When I get back from
the cabin with Dougie,

let's go away somewhere.

Remember the Alaska cruise?

Remember?

Oh, what I would give to be
smoking a joint on a glacier

with you right now.

Wherever we go, I'm not flying coach.

I know, my dear.

It might work better if we
cut this thing into strips.

Won't have to do anything
if she doesn't text you back.

This fabric could jam it up.

Why isn't she responding?

Because it's late, and
we should all go home.

Hmm.

OK, OK, let's take the
wood chipper to her house.

And then we fire it up and we wake up

the whole goddamn neighborhood

and shoot the quilt all over her face!

Wait, guys, come on.
Let's get a grip here.

I mean, it does attach to the truck.

Hey, I'm game.

- OK, all right.
- Oh-ho-ho.

Alice, stop!

Keith?

- Oh, my God.
- Uh...

What the hell are you doing?

Why are you here?

Oh, believe me, I wish I
was back in my kitchen

housing a quesadilla.

Keith, this isn't your problem.

When you rage-text my
wife in the middle of the night,

- I'm going to get activated.
- Just go home.

Fine. Give me the quilt.

No.

It's Patty's.

She can't have it.

They did technically
Venmo payment already.

Why?

Karma.

What is wrong with you?

Your wife.

Tell him, Alice.

She's gone way above and beyond

to make you a part of our family.

Alice, tell him.

She's been kind and
welcoming and supportive.

She murdered Molly.

What?

You've all lost your goddamn minds.

Just get out of here, mister.

- Give it to me.
- No!

No, you don't want to do that, buddy.

Oh, perfect.

Boy, Patty had one thing right.

My son can do way better than you.

Me?

You go out of your way
to embarrass yourself.

Doug can do way better than you guys.

You don't belong in our family.

And believe me, when I tell him

what she did to a beautiful,
sweet, defenseless animal...

You don't even belong in Grosse Pointe.

You're right.

No, don't you dare.

- Watch me.
- Stop it, Alice!

OK, look, this train has
left the station already, OK?

Let it happen, dude.
It's going to happen.

No, no.

Hey, hey, out of my way!

- No!
- Move!

Keith, let go!

- Dude, don't be stupid!
- Stop it!

Oh, my God, Keith!

Keith, you're going to lose an arm!

- Come on!
- What are you doing?

Stop!

Oh, my God.

No!

Let go!

Let go!

What is...

Every garden begins with a single seed,

just like every quilt
begins with a single square.

Every flower has its own occasion.

And each square has
its own story to tell.

At first, you can't see how
one goes with the other.

But when the last flower blooms

and the last square is sewn...

The big picture finally becomes clear.

- Synced and corrected by actumaxime -
- www.addic7ed.com -