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♪ Murder most horrid
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♪ Murder most horrid... ♪
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Excuse me, are you er...?
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No, are you famous? No.
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Oh, too bad.
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How was last night's harvest?
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Oh, cheer up.
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We're only one fish bone away from
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Everyone seems stuck
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It's not a land, just a queue.
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Mmm, apparently.
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I hate it when I cough in here.
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Heard of David Flint? Yeah. Prick.
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No, new senior exec responsible for
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I was summarising.
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Why? Is he after my department?
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Even if you think
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How stupid?
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So - obituaries.
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What are your plans for next year?
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Er... I don't know.
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Maybe... a Pope?
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Good!
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What else?
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I'm wondering whether it's possible
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into his news department as a whole
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Er... well... there are times when
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And when can you anticipate
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Give me something to green light
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Oh dear. You see, I seem to be
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quite a lot from you people.
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TELEPHONE RINGS
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Hello? Flint.
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Mum!
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Hello!... Well, put him on, then!
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Dad. Hi.
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Well, I'm proud of you guys, too!
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FLINT LAUGHS
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My future plans?! I know. I mean,
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I know. Why don't you say you need
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He's after me, too. You?
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FLINT LAUGHS
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Mutant! Don't share that thought
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I am not that stupid!
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Sorry, but my mum and dad are...
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Brother and sister?
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♪ I was the one
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♪ Making all of the passes... ♪
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Excuse me, is he dead?
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No. Well, then - do you mind?
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Something wrong?
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'Dear God...
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'Just wanted to say, things are
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'Wondering if you had anything
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'I could do with some clients
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I mean, no pressure. But next time
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and see someone you want to meet -
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GROANING
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'Reports are coming in that Zack
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'has been hit by a car.'
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'Well-wishers have been massing
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'According to
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'Mr Mitchell
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'A spokesman for Norford hospital
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'refused to confirm
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OK, people - change of plan, Barry.
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Sheila, we're confirming
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Are we going on
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No. Piss off, then.
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Jill Tanner. The Middle East
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Quick, Jill, we're on air.
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Harry, Mitchell was dead on arrival
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Yeah. I've got a source
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They're denying he's there to get
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Sheila, we've changed
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Finally, Zack Mitchell has been
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Good night, Corinne.
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That desk, there -
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Must cost a bit to clean. You should
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It's not real.
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It's a special effect.
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It's a virtual set.
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Look.
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It's free.
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Ahh! We should use some of them
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Mmmm.
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Night, Harry. Norford. What?
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It's where Jill lives, isn't it?
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Nothing.
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'Zack Mitchell will be remembered as
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'such as his outspoken attacks
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'on Sainsbury's parking and
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'Zack Mitchell, who died today.
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DOORBELL
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Hi. Just noticing your car.
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Thought we should chat
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Oh. Noel Edmonds will do
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Took him four tries
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Speaking of which, is young
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Well, you've had a stroke of luck.
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Harry... er... Harry...
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I've done something.
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You might consider it...
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Jill...? Jill?
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Jill? Hello?
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DOOR SLAMS
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I bumped into Zack Mitchell
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What? Well, he collapsed drunk out
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Just as I was praying
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What have you done? Well, erm...
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I did what anyone in my position
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I er... gave him a lift.
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So, you're awake, then?
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You're insane!
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Including a pulse! Only in reality
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I'm dead, then? Of course you're
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It's the latest crazed idea
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which I've just broadcast
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I started a rumour on the Internet
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Why? Because I want people to...
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I have less future than him -
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I'll just make a call. Know anyone
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Actually, can I make a proposition?
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Yes - would you mind dying?
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It would be awfully good for us.
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I'm outta here. If you do die, Zack,
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you save my department. And his job.
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And your career!
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Which, let's face it,
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Last two singles - poo! Hey,
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Right. So death is a remedy
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Who are you, the reviewer from
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It's the difference between
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Zack, I want to make you
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How many major stars get to
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You've got two -
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And you! But he's not dead! Am I
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Where will you be in two years?
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Or a has-been pin-up available for
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and presenting on Channel 5?
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So you want me to die? You don't
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Do you? Let me explain. Did you
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Or the war?
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We can't just say he's dead!
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We do! People think
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It was Petra - two Petras.
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Whatever. But how many of those
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There's a reason
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Even if you could do this -
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no-one thinks he's a rock legend!
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They don't know what they think -
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But public opinion counts! Which is
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Rock legend sounds good...
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Yeah. To me it does.
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What about friends and family?
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If he trusts them, he can tell them.
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My mum's senile, my wife left me -
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We don't need an actual funeral -
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What?!
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Masses of celebrities
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The drunks won't know any different.
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Daytime game-show hosts
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Peter Mandelson... Just promise me
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I don't want to talk about it.
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My feelings for my ex-husband
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I want to come to terms with
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Sorry. I'm going to hang up now.
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Listen, all we need is...
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We just need...
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Some...
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Some help. I still have
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I don't... Can you find the Blue
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I don't know! Get the usual clip!
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Oh! You see, the public feel they
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They've lost someone, too.
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Oh. Heartless bitch!
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Know anyone on the Sun or Mirror?
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Hello. Found a girlfriend?
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Very busy, Derek. Big day. I'm
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You phoned it in, yeah?
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The local police are a bit confused.
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Erm...
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Listen, there are 4,000,000,000
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No wonder you can't get a
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Don't worry, I've dealt with Derek.
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Middle East. You need a new dump
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It gets worse. Upstairs don't think
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Tell them to watch the One O'Clock
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People ask why
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And I think, there's no way they'll
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When I first came here
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something connected -
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Suddenly I knew that when I die -
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and I hope
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but when I die,
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Maybe... maybe the best part.
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Yep - that's good. We'll have to
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Harry, can you point the mike
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This is more difficult
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Hurry up, I want this on the news -
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Right, come on. When I die -
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and I hope
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but when I die,
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Maybe... maybe the best part.
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The late Zack Mitchell.
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TELEPHONE RINGS
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Hello, this is Jill.
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Come on, Zack, pick up -
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Zack. Zack!
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Yeah, I know, I'm dead.
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they're going to go ahead
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Record sales are through the roof!
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I wish I'd lived to see it. Best of
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Apparently, people have rung in
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Shame it doesn't exist. We'll give
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Great.
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Oh, this is really working.
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The Sun and Mirror both lead
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and her lack of reaction
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"Heartless bitch," says The Sun.
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And "Don't cry for Zack,
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Zack was a very special person.
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Er... Someone who touched
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I was one of those people.
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One of the lucky ones who...
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How much will we keep?
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Look,
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It's so much easier when you find
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Remember Frank Sinatra? Lovely.
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TELEPHONE RINGS
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Hello?
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Er... problem.
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They know. How? They can't do
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Derek's girlfriend is a police...
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Yeah. Well, here's what we'll do.
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Nothing! They know! The news is in
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The police want to talk to us! Yep.
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We need to show a freephone number.
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I'll get all the calls put through
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In the newsroom.
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What...? Don't question me
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Uri Geller, Uri Geller, Uri Geller.
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The Prime Minister declined
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Get this up to the gallery now!
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Over there. Chief Inspector Hibbert.
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What progress have you made
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Put the camera away. Answer
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There was no accident, no death.
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...was completed. Excuse me.
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News just in. Controversy mounts
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Some sources claim there is
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A police spokesman today denied
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Was there a police car in the area
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You can't do this!
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...Or the police car,
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Can you confirm that you have no
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Is this incompetence or cover-up?
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There has been no cover-up,
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We check these things out -
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So exactly how stupid are you,
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...If you have any information,
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TELEPHONES RING
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Hello, newsroom? Hello, newsroom?
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Hello, newsroom? About Zack
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So, witnesses.
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Can I help you? I'm Zack Mitchell.
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You sick creep!
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What a creep!
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The main points of the news again.
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They're still taking notes up there.
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I think we're in the clear.
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Uri Geller.
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Jill, I'm really looking forward
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Think it's going to make great TV.
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Good work. Thank you, Mr Flunt.
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So, what are you planning next?
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Oh, my God.
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'...The police deny any knowledge
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'And that's all from the one o'clock
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Poor bastard!
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He thinks he's still alive.
282
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:06,999
How did you do it?
283
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:10,959
I do hope security
284
00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:16,959
How did you get all those people
285
00:25:16,960 --> 00:25:19,999
It's for the best.
286
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,799
The truth?!
287
00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,959
It's just television. Oh.
288
00:25:28,960 --> 00:25:31,479
Uri Geller.
289
00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:35,959
Uri Geller? Mmmm.
290
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:38,959
When he went on TV and bent spoons,
291
00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:42,959
people called in
292
00:25:42,960 --> 00:25:45,959
I didn't fix any calls, Zack.
293
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,959
I didn't need to, Lord love 'em!
294
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:51,959
They call in anyway.
295
00:25:58,960 --> 00:26:03,959
I don't understand. Look.
296
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:08,959
More people campaign for them
297
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:14,999
Your ex-wife, a woman who has
298
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:20,159
someone who she probably loves
299
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:25,959
in order to comfort - what? People
300
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,159
Not truth?
301
00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,959
Just television?
302
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,959
TRAIN APPROACHES
303
00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,959
Zack.
304
00:26:34,960 --> 00:26:37,959
We are the truth.
305
00:26:51,960 --> 00:26:54,959
What's the matter?
306
00:26:54,960 --> 00:26:59,319
I thought you were going to...
307
00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:02,799
You're dead. I'm alive!
308
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:05,959
Says who?
309
00:27:41,960 --> 00:27:44,999
TELEPHONE RINGS
310
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:47,959
Hello? Hello!
311
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:52,959
Zack gave me your number. He said
312
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:57,959
♪ Murder most horrid
313
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,959
♪ As soft as the smoke from a barrel
314
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,959
♪ As cold as the blade of the knife
315
00:28:05,960 --> 00:28:10,959
♪ She's a stranger you love
316
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:14,959
♪ A caress could cost you your life
317
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:17,999
♪ And you wake in the night
318
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:21,959
♪ Wipe the sweat from your forehead
20598
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