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See you later, Mum.
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Have fun.
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MUM: Lady In Red. My Way.
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Lady In Red. Yes, Lady In Red.
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WHISTLING
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You going to the jumble sale?
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No, I've got a rehearsal. Course
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We call it the Scottish play.
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Sorry.
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Yeah, we always enjoy your shows.
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It's a tragedy.
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Don't say that.
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Slower than the cyclist.
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You're welcome(!)
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Just popping out.
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A-A-A-A-Argh!
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Look, sir, I've done my homework.
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she's the right age, she's got the
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Has she done any undercover work?
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She's English, Brown. They're
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sir. Christ, you're
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We don't need
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I'll give you three weeks.
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If I hadn't married John
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who knows?
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Still...
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it's not gonna happen.
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Not now.
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Yes!
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SIREN WAILS
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Neil Brown, CID.
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Oh!
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Oh, I don't believe it. He's a cop!
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Nothing ever happens to me.
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Oh, yes it does. Hop in, Barbara.
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Tony La Paglia,
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Louie Finkel,
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Michael Perugiano,
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AKA Mikey - nickname department
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They've moved to London.
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You're going in to get them.
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What? For speeding?
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They're muscling in
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So we're sending you in.
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Undercover -
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Bonny le Belle, Hollywood
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You set 'em up, I catch 'em.
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But I'm English.
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There are 22,000 female officers
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How many are aged
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How many are unknown
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How many played Miss Adelaide
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in the Evendale Players'
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It's your chance for the big time.
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Not Bonny le Belle. We'll change it.
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Demi de Niro. No? Jodie Bogart.
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No.
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Whoopi Stone.
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Oh, yes!
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Oh, coochie, coochie.
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You understand, don't you?
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when she's a big star.
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SQUEAK
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SQUEAK
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You can do a big shop
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A training course? Yes, in traffic
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Ah, here we are.
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Hi.
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How do you like your new apartment?
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Ah!
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They never do deals themselves.
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They think,
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Then you take 'em to your dealer.
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I catch 'em red-handed. Shebang!
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Jets. New York Jets - football.
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Blues. Blues - hockey.
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Hawks. Basketball.
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It's a chocolate bar.
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Gangsters cheat all the time.
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AMERICAN ACCENT:
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She shoulda been a movie star.
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in some two-bit deli
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Seventh AND 10th.
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Hello. Whoopi Stone...
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AMERICAN: Why should we trust you?
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Well, f... SQUEAK you!
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You tryin' to SQUEAK with me?!
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I can make you richer
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Obviously, I won't be using this
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This isn't a game, Greaves. I'm
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I don't like swearing.
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Give me the fucking frog!
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You go undercover, then!
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You go make friends
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PHOOOR!
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I'll tell you what we'll do, right?
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Swearing.
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What's next on the schedule? Um...
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I think it's ball busting
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AMERICAN: Shut up
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This is my place, capeesh?
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Nice of Mum to send us a food
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Yeah.
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I think these are for the dog.
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Hi. Whoopi Stone... No, it needs
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Get more physical with 'em.
107
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Tony. That's cupping, not kidding.
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OK. More physical. Come on. Hey!
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Hey!
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AMERICAN: Bagel... pretzel...
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"potata" chip...
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cookie...
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gefilte fish...
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pants... brazeer...
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meer.
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So, the Whoop's in town. Hey!
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Hey! Hey!
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Yes!
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I hope this hasn't been
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AMERICAN: Hi, I'm Whoopi.
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DCI Reed - Whoopi Stone.
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Pleased to meet you, DCI. Hey!
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That's a firm handshake you got
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That's an American word for...
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You think he's stoopid? He's
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Repetition, sir. They add menace.
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I must say... you've done a fine job.
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He's done a fine job?!
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She won't be using the frog on the
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Hey, one, two.
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One, two. All right?
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Now, what don't we do?
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We breathe. I can't br... Breathe!
134
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Too much oak, Tony?
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Oak? What you talkin' about? Oak.
136
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It's a characteristic
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There's wood in my wine? You crazy?
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What's this now?
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Champagne, sir. Courtesy of the
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Let's see what she wants.
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Whoopi to van.
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Hi, I'm Tony.
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This is Louie and this is Mikey.
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Hi, Whoopi.
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Ain't every day I get champagne
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Oh, no!
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Sit down, gentlemen.
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So... you want bagels, pretzels,
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potata chips,
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gefilte fish?
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This is England, Whoopi!
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Yeah, like your pants.
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Keep calm.
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Just gotta check my brazeer
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in the meer.
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Oh!
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Get back to the...
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What brought you to England,
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You kill me.
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Not literally. Hey! I do the jokes.
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OK?
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So you guys, eh...
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Let's go.
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We're going now. We're going now!
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You, eh...
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I, eh...
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So, Tony,
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how about the Miami Dolphins, huh?
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The way I see it, the weakest area
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I mean, McDuffy - he's an OK
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Me too.
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If a man wears padding,
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It's a great book, Tony.
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I saw a similar van outside the bar.
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Oh...
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Don't worry about that, Louie,
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At night?
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Sure. At night they install the
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Right.
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So, eh... you were telling us what
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I could do business here.
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What kind of business do you mean?
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Well, I, eh...
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I buy, eh... a certain product,
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from a certain pwerson,
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for a certain amount.
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Then I, eh...
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to another certain pwerson
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Know what I like about it? What?
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The certainty.
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The certainty!
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She's a piece of work!
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I want sex. Don't embarrass me! He's
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Pussy, beaver, jelly roll,
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It's late, gentlemen.
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Oh, I haven't told you about my mom
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Next time I cook for you, huh?
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That's nice. If we was at home now,
199
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You know?
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It's a whore house.
201
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To you, it's a whore house.
202
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I love this woman!
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All right.
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Hey!
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OK, next time, no van. Eh?
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It's too suspicious.
207
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This is nothing like Guys And
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You were brilliant! Was I? Yes.
209
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Elements of my performance could
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And your fridge banging. I need to
211
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This is dynamite,
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Eh... yeah.
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Oh, my mom - she was bootiful.
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She should have been a movie star.
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Et cetera.
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Et cetera. Italian place.
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Yeah, that's right. Yeah.
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Gefilte fish, chopped liver -
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that's too heavy. Pasta and
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Absolutely!
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So, whadda ya think? You in or out?
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It's just my man -
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Please, coffee first.
224
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Tell me, why did you
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It's too seasonal.
226
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Is Christmas the peak?
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Everybody rushing around buying
228
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You had movie star clients? Sure.
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They love the weird stuff.
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I was speaking
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Mr Charlie Sheen, Mr Jack Nicholson,
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How can that be? I heard of them.
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You think we're stupid!
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You must be scared.
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I don't understand. You don't, cop?
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Sit down, cop.
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I swear on my mother's meatballs,
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Don't say that again, ever!
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Ever! Ever!
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British cop, drop the accent,
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Explode?! You want explode?!
242
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Do British cops shoot people?
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Do they?!
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No. Home secretaries reject the
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I can make you richer than Donald
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You froggin' frogs!
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Hello, sir. Yes, it's Brown.
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SHE HUMS NERVOUSLY
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OK, sorted. You just carry on
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That is what I'm doing.
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So could you please get rid of
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I'll take care of all of this.
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I mean, he was a ganster,
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It's not like I've killed
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You're going to miss being Whoopi.
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It's not every day
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You were just doing your duty.
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AMERICAN: Our business is complete.
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Good luck.
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LOUIE: Whoopi.
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Gentlemen.
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Merchandise... OK?
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Most satisfactory.
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My contribution.
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Do you know who this lady is?
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Then I don't think
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Well, gentlemen,
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I think our business is complete.
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Police, stay where you are!
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Jesus Christ!
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It's a set-up. Oh, what bad luck(!)
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The right result, guvnor.
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I'm an American citizen. (Just
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What are you doing?
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SIRENS WAIL
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Well done, mate.
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SLAM!
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Who else, huh?
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He must have made a deal
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Yeah, goddamn
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Look, we'll make it up to you,
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I wish he was alive,
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I don't know what you're playing at,
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I've got two men at home
285
00:22:55,800 --> 00:22:57,959
and a poodle that needs a clip.
286
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:02,959
You've exceeded my wildest dreams.
287
00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:06,959
There is no Whoopi Stone!
288
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:10,959
Oh, yes, there is. She killed
289
00:23:10,960 --> 00:23:15,319
I got the murder weapon, prints -
290
00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:19,639
Don't worry.
291
00:23:19,640 --> 00:23:22,959
Don't you get funny with me,
292
00:23:22,960 --> 00:23:27,959
I'm gonna stand up and tell
293
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:33,959
That you're a copper?
294
00:23:33,960 --> 00:23:35,959
You're Whoopi now. Forever.
295
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,959
There's no turning back.
296
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,959
What?
297
00:23:42,960 --> 00:23:46,959
You don't need them.
298
00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:53,959
The woman who killed public enemy
299
00:23:53,960 --> 00:23:59,799
You've turned yourself
300
00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:06,959
Well, it's something
301
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:10,799
I want my dog!
302
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:12,959
Lost at sea.
303
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:25,479
Medal of honour.
304
00:24:25,480 --> 00:24:28,999
What was she doing
305
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,959
A training course,
306
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,959
What? In traffic control?
307
00:24:34,960 --> 00:24:37,959
Gets quite busy, the sea.
308
00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:44,959
JUDGE: Whoopi Stone,
309
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:34,959
Then she says,
310
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:40,959
And she picks up my piece
311
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:43,799
Yeah. I grew up with her.
312
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,959
Gentlemen.
313
00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:50,959
Welcome home, Miss Stone.
314
00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:53,959
Hey!
315
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,799
Remember Gene? Where is she?
316
00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:03,959
We saw
317
00:26:03,960 --> 00:26:08,159
It's my pleasure
318
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:12,159
You, eh...
319
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,959
I will. See ya, guys.
320
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:18,959
Oh, Gene,
321
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:23,959
have a big, full British breakfast
322
00:26:23,960 --> 00:26:26,959
hold the black pudding.
323
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:33,959
Guess you kinda miss Ingerland, huh?
324
00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:35,479
Mmm.
325
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:39,959
Sometimes I think
326
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,959
You know this bungalow?
327
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,959
Like a little, short house,
328
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,959
in the countryside, you know?
329
00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,959
Some place like Le-ces-ter-shire.
330
00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:53,959
or Hurtfordshire, or Burkshire.
331
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,959
Some place like that, you know?
332
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,799
Coulda got a husband
333
00:27:01,800 --> 00:27:05,959
Doesn't sound like Madame Whoopi,
334
00:27:07,960 --> 00:27:10,959
Yeah, that's right. That's right.
335
00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,959
Hey, Mikey! Yeah?
336
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:18,959
You got the address. Sure!
337
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:23,159
Hey, guys, let's go and, eh...
338
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,959
Nice shot, sir.
339
00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,999
'Scuse me, gentlemen.
340
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:59,959
Can I interest you
341
00:28:09,160 --> 00:28:12,479
♪ Murder most horrid!
342
00:28:14,960 --> 00:28:18,959
♪ As soft as the smoke from a barrel
343
00:28:18,960 --> 00:28:22,959
♪ Aa cold as the blade of the knife
344
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:27,959
♪ She's a stranger you love
345
00:28:27,960 --> 00:28:31,959
♪ A caress could cost you your life
346
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:35,159
♪ And you wake in the night
347
00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:38,959
♪ La, la, la, la... Lorry?
21503
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