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♪ Murder most horrid. ♪
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And then the votes are counted.
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But it's not the VOTES that matter.
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Whoever has the most seats wins.
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Now, any questions?
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Yes, Carly?
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Yes? My mum says it's not fair.
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He says she can't even fit into it
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CHILDREN GIGGLE
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Milo? Will you still be our teacher
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Yes, Julian?
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No... I... won't,
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I'm going to be
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Ooh! Sorry.
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'You can't just lock up criminals.
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INTERVIEWER: With the election
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'This government is now sitting
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It's all just words, isn't it?
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No, Jane, that's the point.
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'...but by giving people more hope,
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Afternoon, Mrs Bryce. Hello.
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That's what I'm paid for. Right. The
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Got people for dinner? No,
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Spare ribs. Yeah. You can't beat it.
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Hello, Polo.
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What is this? WHAT is this?
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I'm going to break my neck
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Mr Belling.
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Ah, Mrs Bryce.
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As you can see,
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You said you'd be onto the plumbing
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It's been two weeks. We'll lift the
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Ugh... Mr Belling, can you smell
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I couldn't smell it before.
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CAR BEEPS HORN
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Er... evening, sir.
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Evening, Eric.
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Brian Hall.
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Hello, Peter. Call him back.
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He's got Paxman
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Saturday.
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He hasn't missed one in 12 years.
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Thanks.
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Oh, I hoped you would change that.
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The worst... The most incompetent
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If they want him, they'll wait.
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Next week. Right.
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You made page one of the Guardian,
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Did you see me on TV?
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Oh, I bought you this. What's that?
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Are you staying, Brian?
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Er... no, thanks. Are you sure?
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What's that smell?
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All I'm saying is you ought to send
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Actually in the classroom. Yeah.
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What IS that smell?
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Are you listening? Brian was right.
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It might be damp. Can you believe
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sewage. Does it? Yes, a kind of...
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Urgh!
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Sort of... Where?
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SNIFFING
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What, over here?
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Pooh! I didn't know there were
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It's awful.
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Urgh! Have you got the torch?
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Yeah.
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Can you see anything?
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What?
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Oh, my God!
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What is it? D-Don't look down there.
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Oh, my God!
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I said don't look.
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What did you see? What did YOU see?
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I thought I saw a dead body. Yes!
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Right, I'll go back down
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I can't, either. Actually, I can!
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Oh, shit! What? What?
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Oh, God! God!
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God! There's... three of them!
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How do you know? Three heads! Three
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Um... OK, I'm calling the police.
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No, actually I'm going to be sick
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No. What?
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You can't. Linda...! You can't
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The election, Jerry.
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Your image. The tabloids
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This isn't about politics.
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To be the next Prime Minister. This
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No. No, no, no.
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Everything you've worked for,
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Don't let them do that to you.
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PHONE RINGS
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PHONE RINGS
Oh! Sshh!
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Hello... Mrs Joseph, hello.
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No, no, that's fine.
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Yes, Simon probably would be upset
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I didn't want him showing it to the
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No, I think it's just a phase.
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Let's talk about it at the next PTA.
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Absolutely. That's great.
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Yes. Bye.
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We've got to get rid
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So we dig them up and bury them
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Only WE know about this, Jerry.
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Nobody else...
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When we bought this house, it had
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We've lived here 12 years.
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what's 12 and 2? - for 14 years!
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Right, so we get rid of them and
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Could we live with it?
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Five more years of Opposition,
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That chance is in your hands now,
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No, no, Linda, I'm sorry.
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No...
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No, you can't...
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...but I can.
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There. That's it. What will you do?
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I'm going to think of something.
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I'm going to think of something.
DOORBELL RINGS
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THEY GASP
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Who's that? I don't know.
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Take that. I'll see to it.
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Yes? Mr Bryce. Yes. Hello!
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Hello.
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"Hello!" magazine. Deborah Case.
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Ah... Um...
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Your office did say half past nine.
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Er...
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Yes... come in, come in.
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Thank you!
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Hello.
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Polo! Polo! Stop it!
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DOG GROWLS
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Will you...! Please!
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YELPS
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GLASS SHATTERS
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What does this house say about you?
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Did you get rid of them? A-hem.
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THEY ALL LAUGH NERVOUSLY
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Deborah Case. Deborah Case.
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Hello! Yes! Hello!
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We're actually having a brand-new...
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Oh! How lovely!
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Do show!
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Oh!
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Oh! Yes!
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Oh, yes! Dinky! Charming!
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DEBORAH SNIFFS
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It's such a lovely parish,
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I'll miss St Crispin's, but the
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I don't know how we'll manage,
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Ethnic minorities and guitars.
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At least we're not getting a woman.
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It'll be out in two weeks -
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Special? Oh, you mean
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Lovely. Thank you.
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Oh, good luck with the new kitchen.
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Thank you so much!
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"Hello!"? I know...
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I must get to the surgery. Help me
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Brian, it's me. I'm leaving in
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What? They were there by the bins.
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WERE there? Well, they were there.
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Wh-Where are they?
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Oh, no. What?
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Quentin. What? Charles Quentin, the
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He's taken them! Stop shouting!
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CAR TYRES SQUEAL
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No, it was just a silly mistake,
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Two bags of rubbish
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Anyway, I've brought you this
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Ah!
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Yes, I think... I've located them.
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Can I help?
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Darling, could you take that? Right.
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Yep, this is the other one. Lovely.
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Sorry about that, vicar.
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So, if you take me to the surgery...
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Don't be stupid, Jerry. We must
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Er...
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Brian... Something came up... Ten
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And one...
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and... two...
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...and three.
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There. Those are burning nicely.
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Not bad for a boiler
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Still thinking of opting out? They
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What's the feeling in the staff?
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Parents must be able to compare
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If that means league tables...
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What?
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They've all gone. Thirty-five
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We've done it. Have we?
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We've done it.
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Yes.
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'Even with their hectic lifestyle
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'they have time
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'When I was at their charming London
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'Yet Linda Bryce was quick
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Here's the speech. I've typed
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Look. Head of Northern Water's
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I've got your case. Taps, Jerry.
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Oh, sorry, darling. Good luck.
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Morning, sir. Morning, Eric.
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'So the teachers are greedy.
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'The teachers are selfish.
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'Why don't we tell that
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'who only this morning
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'So let me tell you,
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'it's easy for the Government
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'It's something they know all about.
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'Let me tell you now...'
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TELEPHONE RINGS
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'...education and training WILL be,
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DOG BARKS
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Hello. 'Mrs Bryce?'
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Yes. Who's this?
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Did you find them, Mrs Bryce?
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Brian's mobile.
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Brian Hall... H... Brian...
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TELEPHONE RINGS
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Yes? 'So you DID find them.'
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Oh, yes, you do.
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Who is this?
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I know who you are! Where are you?
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I'm just round the corner. What?
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I think we should get together. I'll
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Eric! Eric!
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Are you all right, Mrs Bryce?
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Er... yes, you know, Eric,
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Yeah, I was just wondering
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Not for me, thank you very much.
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Right. You ARE here, tonight,
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But I'm off tomorrow on leave. Oh?
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Is it?
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DOG YAPS
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DOG YELPS
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TELEVISION: 'Consider basic human
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'and you come to the inescapable
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'the most dangerous man
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Come on, Brian, answer.
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'I am speaking to you, not
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'Our survival, yours and mine,
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'There is no alternative
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'He's going to hurt you.
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'Get rid of him.
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'Do it NOW!'
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Oh, Polo!
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Mrs Bryce. Get out of here!
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Are you afraid of me, Mrs Bryce?
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I'm warning you...!
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You've every reason to be afraid.
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Stay away! You won't use that.
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What have you done with them?
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Don't...!
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You better put that down
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I've got something you ought to see.
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BALL SQUEAKS
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His name was Barlow.
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Detective Inspector Barlow.
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Fifteen years ago, he suspected me,
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No, you see,
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I was above suspicion.
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It almost drove him mad.
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Yes, this was my house.
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and at St Crispin's, of course.
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Except for the young trendies,
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coming around with their new ideas
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why don't we give
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Oh, yes, quite all right
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Well... I dealt with them...
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with the ringleaders.
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You killed them?
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You should have left them there,
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It would have been
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What are you going to do?
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I'm... going... to have...
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to kill you!
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Argh! Eric! Eric!
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00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:32,959
Nine o'clock tomorrow? OK. Bye.
282
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:47,959
You're unusually quiet, Eric.
283
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:50,959
Eric?
284
00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,959
LINDA CHOKES
285
00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:07,959
Linda!
286
00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:09,959
Oh, my God!
287
00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:11,959
Linda, Linda!
288
00:26:11,960 --> 00:26:13,959
Are you all right?
289
00:26:13,960 --> 00:26:16,959
It's all right. It's all right.
290
00:26:16,960 --> 00:26:20,319
What happened?
291
00:26:20,320 --> 00:26:25,959
This one's a policeman, or used to
292
00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,639
Quentin? Yes. The vicar?
293
00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,799
Yes!
294
00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:36,479
So Quentin killed the policeman?
295
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:39,959
I killed the policeman. What?
296
00:26:39,960 --> 00:26:41,959
I sort of pushed him...
297
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:49,959
Well, he sort of fell...! What do
298
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:57,959
I told you, he fell... Not him!
299
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:01,959
Oh, God! I think that was me, too!
300
00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:03,999
What? Yes, it was. I did that!
301
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:08,959
You mean you killed
302
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:12,959
Yes, I did, yes! Oh, God!
303
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:14,959
It'll... be all right.
304
00:27:14,960 --> 00:27:17,959
What? It will NOT be all right!
305
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,959
It won't be all right at all!
306
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:28,959
It WILL be. We are the only ones
307
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:36,959
It's fantastic, Lin.
308
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,959
Thanks, Brian.
309
00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:42,959
Not that you'll be here
310
00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:47,959
Twenty-six points in the poll
311
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:52,959
We should stay here a bit longer.
312
00:27:52,960 --> 00:27:55,959
Yes, that's... very good.
313
00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,959
Are you all right?
314
00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:01,959
Me? Yes... I'm fine.
315
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:05,959
Yes! He's fine.
316
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,959
SHE LAUGHS FALSELY
317
00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:13,959
Yes, sorry.
318
00:28:13,960 --> 00:28:15,959
This looks lovely.
319
00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,319
THEY CHATTER POLITELY
320
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:28,959
♪ Murder most horrid
321
00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:34,799
♪ As soft as the smoke
322
00:28:34,800 --> 00:28:38,959
♪ As cold as the blade of the knife
323
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:43,159
♪ She's a stranger
324
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,959
♪ A caress could cost you your life
325
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,799
♪ And you wake in the night
326
00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,959
♪ Wipe the sweat from your forehead
20643
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