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♪ Murder most horrid. ♪
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That's lovely, Pam, lovely!
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Proper job!
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Careful! Could someone mop that up?
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Plenty of custard powder in there.
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Remember everybody! When it's cold,
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Morning, sixth form!
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Miss Brazier! Briony Evans
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Don't get that hair in my gravy!
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Morning, Miss Brassiere!
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SHE HUMS "FOOD GLORIOUS FOOD"
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Are you being bullied?
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My mum died.!
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Did she bully you?
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Tiffany!
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Good morning, Miss Twigg.
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Here's the menu for you
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You know that Bullying Awareness
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A kid out there's got
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What's that...
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It's nice!
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It's lamb casserole,
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On separate plates, I hope!
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As separate as a couple who've had
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Little better than curling up with
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That or an electric blanket. My
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I'll see you on top table. Right!
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How's my... how's my...
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custard looking?
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As yellow as a sou'wester on daffs,
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I do! Believe me!
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THAT takes anything
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...through to lots of hours really.
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Patricia Hodge was in labour
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Felicity, don't do
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It's so demeaning! I'm a scientist,
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Sorry?
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I could tell them about
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Giving out diaphragms!
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Switch it off, Felicity!
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It's terrible! I wasn't interested
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It's the National Curriculum.
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I give them a balanced diet,
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Ask me about one of these!
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Er... second from the right.
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Strychnine. A poisonous alkaloid.
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C21,H22,N202,
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a narcotic poison which acts
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affecting the heart, respiratory...
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What do you think
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No! She ain't got the accent.
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Well, in comparison to who?
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Ask me another. What? Teacher?
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No! Put me off my dinner!
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There we are!
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Just like Momma used to make!
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Can't pay, won't stay!
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Can't pay, won't stay!
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Can't pay, won't stay!
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Can't pay...
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What ARE you doing? Protesting.
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The food's not that bad. We won't
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Miss Twigge!
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Can't pay, won't stay!
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Evangeline!
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Take your Bolshevik cohorts
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Yeah. You're upsetting the kiddies.
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I was just passing! Need a lift?
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Hop in!
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My canteen is a safe haven for
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Evangeline's argument is if staff
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they should be paid for it.
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Not any more! Cutbacks!
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I'd like to see her rustle up
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So would I!
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Tiffany, they plan
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Could you um...
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Could you drop me by this betting...
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No, no, no, no! No!
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To follow that, we have pot noodle,
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'and a king-size Mars Bar!'
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'What I'm going to cook is a simple
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'A spoon of honey and do-de-der-der.
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'I sing honey!'
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Where's That Was The Week That Was?
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I'm fingering through a bit of Gary
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David who? David Frost!
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He don't do that no more!
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He's your father!
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They're all in there
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It's all Miss Brassiere's doing.
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It's Brazier! And she's young!
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The young have principles.
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She also has the skin of a baby.
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Why not take the afternoon off?
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I'm going to!
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Missie Twiglet,
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Are we having any wine?
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Sheila! One each, please!
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I'm surprised you've got one! What?
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All the time you must spend making
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Excuse me.
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Excuse me. Miss Twigge is fainting!
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Yes, yes!
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Blimey O'Riley, it's hot in here!
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Open a window, Sheila and stop
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What is it? Sour cream and onions
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Have a Cheesy Wotsit and tell me
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Sherry? Is this "mess"
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Do you mind me calling you Gloria?
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I was in a dance troupe once with
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Go on then, I'll have a small one.
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Basically, Tiffany...
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things are just falling apart.
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Are you experiencing problems
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of an intensely personal
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Well...
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Evangeline!
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Miss Twigge is busy, Miss Brassiere.
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nor that amusing. Lah-di-dah!
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Miss Bra Straps!
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Go on, Glo, I'll have another one.
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Actually...
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would you mind... Mind?
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By the way, it's lasagne tomorrow
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Try squishing that in your souvenir
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We need to talk. Sherry?
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Big boy!
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Fancy a malibu and pineapple?
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Evening, ladies!
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It's a bloke! Is it?
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Why?
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Er... Tone, you hang on here. I want
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I'll be out in a minute, all right?
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We will, we'll strike!
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You said you were left-wing!
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More than I've ever
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And that time in the home economics
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Ladies! We don't expect this
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Are YOU a dyke?!
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Tittle-tattle lost the battle!
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I intend to do just that!
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This is ridiculous!
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I've got to sack three teachers
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and now she's trying to make
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She's gambled away school money!
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Calm down! Let it out, my darling.
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...like some people do!
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You're in my house, you nincompoop!
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That is Gloria, Mother. It's not.
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She stole your father off of me!
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Trollop! That's right, Mother!
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Come on, Glo! Have a seat!
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There you are!
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Breakfast at Tiffany's!
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She thinks you're Millicent Martin!
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Because she's mad, my darling!
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♪ Moon river
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♪ Wider than a...
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♪ All across the river. ♪
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Bit louder, darling!
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♪ Heartbreaker, you heartbreaker! ♪
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I spy a lady with
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I was so indiscreet last night.
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Don't worry! Mother really thinks
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About the sackings!
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Why did I tell you? If word gets
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my lovely!
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Unlike some...
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Look! Stop drinking. Stop gambling.
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Stop frittering away school money,
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and show the woman who loves you
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It's too late. No!
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whatever I say
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Evangeline! Tiffany.
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I love her so much!
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Now then.
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About last night. I waited a whole
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Sorry!
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Dunno.
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Come 'ere,
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you lovely, big science boy!
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That's it!
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Lovely!
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Yes! That's right!
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Stop it!
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That reminds me.
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There you go, my darling!
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Miss Bra Straps!
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(There!) Twang!
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'Will all girls auditioning
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'make their way to the staff room.
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These faces are good,
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You scared me stupid with that one!
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'This Tony Frost.
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'Hi Tony, it's Angela.
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'She's signing copies of her book,
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'About eight. OK. Bye!'
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GLORIA BY LAURA BRANIGAN PLAYS
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♪ Gloria!
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♪ You're always on the run now
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♪ Running after somebody
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♪ You've got to get him somehow. ♪
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When's Millicent coming back?
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Soon.
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Will you get me some more spoons,
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I was just thinking about poor Tony.
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And I wondered if anyone wanted
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It was just as I was signing up
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Back to formation dancing for me.
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Didn't you know? It wasn't a heart
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They're doing tests. Really!
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I know!
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See you later, darling!
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And er... missing YOU already!
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'Miss Brazier to my office.
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Night, Miss!
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Glo! I didn't expect to see you!
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What are you doing here?
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I... er... I'm here with my friend,
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Lesbian.
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She's very friendly!
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What are you trying to say?
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Next, you'll tell me Sheila was!
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We get those results tomorrow.
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We're coming up to GCSEs!
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We'd appreciate your co-operation.
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Sure I can't offer you a drink?
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See if that helps your Jane Fonda
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Miss Bra Straps!
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And up, and up! Reach, reach!
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Reach, reach! We're marching!
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We're marching!
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And grapevine!
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Other way!
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Reach!
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Reach, reach! And march!
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And stretch!
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♪ Evangeline
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♪ Evangeline
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♪ When we started talking
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♪ I asked her for her name
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♪ She said, "It's not important." ♪
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He's a handsome fella, your father!
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Who rattled your cage?
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What? Stop trying
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Who? Delia Smith! My God!
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When you going back to work?
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When they re-open the school.
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They haven't cancelled your series?
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That'll be them, that'll be the BBC.
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Gloria!
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And today's menu is
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and Glad It's All Over Cherry Pie!
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And as a treat,
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I've made you the most
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Sit down, Tiffany. I need a word.
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I've given up. What?
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Given up the fags? I'm staggered,
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When you're cooped up in a cell
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Was it horrible?
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Shut up! Look, darling.
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Everyone knows it wasn't you.
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They say there's bad water in
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There must have been some reason
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You're in the clear! Move on and
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no more booze - Bob's your uncle,
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Gardenias has got a lesbian
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I've had a letter...
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from the Education Authority.
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What saying, "Welcome home, Glo!"?!
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They're really cutting back now.
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You've got to lose some teachers?
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That's a relief.
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The school dinner staff
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streamlined.
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How do you mean, darling?
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I'm sorry, Tiffany. From September,
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I will, of course,
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(I see.)
281
00:26:42,320 --> 00:26:47,959
Do you mind if I have a sherry?
282
00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:53,319
This is no reflection upon you.
283
00:26:53,320 --> 00:26:57,959
You know I'm NUTS
284
00:26:57,960 --> 00:27:02,959
Nuttier than a Brazil nut fondant
285
00:27:02,960 --> 00:27:06,959
I know this puts the kibosh
286
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:11,959
I understand
287
00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,959
I... wouldn't say that!
288
00:27:17,960 --> 00:27:21,959
Tell me,
289
00:27:21,960 --> 00:27:22,999
Anything!
290
00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:27,959
Would you do me the honour
291
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,959
Of course!
292
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,479
♪ Murder most horrid
293
00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,959
♪ As soft as the smoke from a barrel
294
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:31,959
♪ As cool as the blade of the night
295
00:28:31,960 --> 00:28:34,959
♪ She's a stranger
296
00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:39,959
♪ One kiss could cost you your life
297
00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,999
♪ And you wake in the night
298
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,799
♪ La, la, la, la, la, Lauren!
299
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:51,639
♪ Murder most horrid
19199
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