Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,785 --> 00:00:04,700
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:06,963 --> 00:00:08,965
Chris, how many times
do I have to tell you
3
00:00:09,139 --> 00:00:11,185
to quit leaving this damn
yo-yo on the floor?
4
00:00:11,359 --> 00:00:12,882
What are you trying to do,
kill me?
5
00:00:13,056 --> 00:00:14,449
I forgot where I left it.
6
00:00:14,623 --> 00:00:16,277
Well, will you remember
when I fall
7
00:00:16,451 --> 00:00:18,279
down the steps
and break my neck?
8
00:00:18,453 --> 00:00:20,672
NARRATOR:
Sometimes it felt like
all my mother did
9
00:00:20,846 --> 00:00:22,370
was yell at everybody.[DOOR SLAMS]
10
00:00:22,544 --> 00:00:23,762
Tonya, close the door!
11
00:00:23,936 --> 00:00:25,938
You trying to freeze
the whole house?
12
00:00:26,113 --> 00:00:27,679
Drew, turn that mess down!
13
00:00:27,853 --> 00:00:30,117
You trying to make everybody
in the house go deaf?
14
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:32,771
And get your feet
off my table.
15
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:33,946
Julius!
16
00:00:34,121 --> 00:00:35,557
Pick up your drawers!
17
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:37,907
Do I have to do everything
around here?
18
00:00:38,081 --> 00:00:41,563
NARRATOR: And when I say my mother yelled at everybody, I mean everybody.
19
00:00:41,737 --> 00:00:43,565
Rochelle, what did I tell me?
20
00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,393
Are you trying
to drive me crazy?
21
00:00:45,567 --> 00:00:47,090
NARRATOR:
But there was one person
22
00:00:47,264 --> 00:00:49,049
who always put my mother
in a good mood.
23
00:00:49,223 --> 00:00:51,181
Daddy!
24
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,662
NARRATOR:
My mother loved her daddy,
and we did too.
25
00:00:53,836 --> 00:00:55,142
Oh, where's Mama?
26
00:00:55,316 --> 00:00:56,752
Oh, I left her at
the hair dresser.
27
00:00:56,926 --> 00:00:58,362
Where are them
grandkids of mine?
28
00:00:58,536 --> 00:01:00,408
Where they at? Hey!
29
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,975
NARRATOR:
My grandfather was
a great storyteller.
30
00:01:03,150 --> 00:01:04,673
And he didn't think
I was playing
31
00:01:04,847 --> 00:01:07,415
when I smacked him
in the head with that brick.
32
00:01:07,589 --> 00:01:08,851
Until this day,
33
00:01:09,025 --> 00:01:11,245
when I go in there,
my food is free.
34
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:12,768
[ALL LAUGH]
35
00:01:12,942 --> 00:01:14,378
Oh, man, do you have
any more good jokes?
36
00:01:14,552 --> 00:01:15,858
Do I got any more
good jokes?
37
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:18,034
Come on, now! Knock, knock.
38
00:01:18,208 --> 00:01:20,123
Who's there?Pass me them pork chops.
39
00:01:20,297 --> 00:01:21,646
Pass me them pork chops who?
40
00:01:21,820 --> 00:01:23,561
No, pass me them pork chops
right there.
41
00:01:23,735 --> 00:01:25,694
[ALL LAUGH]He got you!
42
00:01:27,348 --> 00:01:28,827
I ain't playing with you.
43
00:01:29,001 --> 00:01:30,655
What's the rest
of the joke, Grandpa?
44
00:01:30,829 --> 00:01:32,396
Ooh! Okay, knock, knock.
45
00:01:32,570 --> 00:01:33,528
Who's there?
46
00:01:33,702 --> 00:01:35,356
Oh, Lordy.
47
00:01:35,530 --> 00:01:38,750
Oh, Lordy who?[ALL LAUGHING]
48
00:01:38,924 --> 00:01:40,926
I'm dying.
49
00:01:41,101 --> 00:01:42,232
I'm dying who?
50
00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:47,063
I'm...having a heart...
51
00:01:47,237 --> 00:01:48,412
You're having a heart who?
52
00:01:48,586 --> 00:01:51,328
Daddy?[ALL LAUGHING]
53
00:01:51,502 --> 00:01:52,590
ROCHELLE
Daddy.
54
00:01:53,852 --> 00:01:55,593
Daddy?
55
00:01:55,767 --> 00:01:58,030
NARRATOR:
I never did find out
who was there.
56
00:01:58,205 --> 00:02:00,120
[♪♪♪]
57
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:09,085
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
58
00:02:31,455 --> 00:02:33,979
NARRATOR:
My grandfather passing away
was the first time
59
00:02:34,154 --> 00:02:36,156
I had to deal with
a death in the family.
60
00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:37,809
I didn't know how to react,
61
00:02:37,983 --> 00:02:39,550
and I guess
my mother didn't, either,
62
00:02:39,724 --> 00:02:41,117
because instead
of doing this...
63
00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:43,902
Damn. Damn. Damn!
64
00:02:44,076 --> 00:02:45,817
[CRYING]
65
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,210
NARRATOR:
...she did this...
66
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,081
Good morning, everybody.
67
00:02:49,256 --> 00:02:51,171
NARRATOR:
I hadn't seen my mother
that happy
68
00:02:51,345 --> 00:02:52,781
since Lionel Richie went solo.
69
00:02:52,955 --> 00:02:54,783
I can't believe Gene is gone.
70
00:02:54,957 --> 00:02:56,959
I can't believe
he never finished that joke.
71
00:02:57,133 --> 00:02:58,874
I'm never eating
pork chops again.
72
00:02:59,048 --> 00:03:01,050
I can't believe he died
sitting right here.
73
00:03:01,224 --> 00:03:03,748
Everybody has to die someplace.
74
00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,272
Now eat your eggs.
75
00:03:05,446 --> 00:03:06,882
TONYA:
I hate eggs.
76
00:03:07,056 --> 00:03:08,579
Can I have some toast?
77
00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,973
Sure, Tonya. No problem.
78
00:03:11,147 --> 00:03:13,671
Hey, Mom, uh, do I have
to go to school today?
79
00:03:13,845 --> 00:03:15,456
NARRATOR:
Usually, the only death
80
00:03:15,630 --> 00:03:17,545
that could keep us
out of school was our own.
81
00:03:17,719 --> 00:03:19,634
Not if you don't want to.Cool.
82
00:03:19,808 --> 00:03:22,158
Chris, do you want to stay home
from school today?
83
00:03:22,332 --> 00:03:23,594
No, I have a quiz.
84
00:03:23,768 --> 00:03:25,640
Oh.
85
00:03:25,814 --> 00:03:27,772
Can I stay home too?Sure.
86
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,644
NARRATOR:
I didn't know what was wrong
87
00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,428
with my mother,
but at that moment,
88
00:03:31,602 --> 00:03:33,343
all I could think of
doing was this...
89
00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:36,912
Snap out of it, woman!
90
00:03:38,783 --> 00:03:42,918
Well, everybody
have a nice day.
91
00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:44,876
[HUMMING]
92
00:03:47,966 --> 00:03:50,099
That was weird.
93
00:03:50,273 --> 00:03:52,362
Man, your grandfather died?
94
00:03:52,536 --> 00:03:53,537
That's rough.
95
00:03:53,711 --> 00:03:55,496
I had a parakeet
that died once.
96
00:03:55,670 --> 00:03:56,714
I cried for three weeks.
97
00:03:56,888 --> 00:03:59,064
My mom is acting
really strange.
98
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:00,501
You mean strange like...
99
00:04:00,675 --> 00:04:02,764
There's a TV in my head!
100
00:04:02,938 --> 00:04:04,287
Oh! Ow!
101
00:04:04,461 --> 00:04:07,116
Please, just make it stop!
102
00:04:07,290 --> 00:04:10,293
NARRATOR:
Even the crackheads
would be scared of that.
103
00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:12,513
No.
104
00:04:12,687 --> 00:04:14,863
She's just really nice.
105
00:04:15,037 --> 00:04:18,258
[BELL RINGS]
106
00:04:18,432 --> 00:04:20,912
So were you guys close?Yeah.
107
00:04:21,086 --> 00:04:24,002
Chris, why don't you stand up
and tell the rest of the class
108
00:04:24,176 --> 00:04:26,570
what you're discussing
with Gregory.
109
00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:30,574
My grandfather died.Chris, that's not funny.
110
00:04:30,748 --> 00:04:32,837
What are you gonna do when
your grandfather dies for real?
111
00:04:33,011 --> 00:04:34,796
Just because
you didn't study for a test
112
00:04:34,970 --> 00:04:37,189
doesn't mean you can go
killing off your family.
113
00:04:37,364 --> 00:04:39,191
Who's next?
Your father, your mother?
114
00:04:39,366 --> 00:04:41,498
Why don't you kill your sister
or your brother?
115
00:04:41,672 --> 00:04:43,108
He's telling the truth.
116
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:44,501
[♪♪♪]
117
00:04:44,675 --> 00:04:46,111
Oh.
118
00:04:47,069 --> 00:04:48,288
Oh, Chris...
119
00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:51,116
Wait...you believe him?
120
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,901
Of course.And not me?
121
00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,164
Well, Chris,
your grandfather died.
122
00:04:55,338 --> 00:04:56,861
You might
say anything.
123
00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:59,255
What are you even doing here?
Bring me your paper.
124
00:04:59,429 --> 00:05:01,126
Don't worry
about the test.
125
00:05:02,867 --> 00:05:04,042
You're excused.
126
00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,307
NARRATOR:
In honor of my grandfather,
127
00:05:07,481 --> 00:05:09,265
I should have hit her
with a brick.
128
00:05:11,180 --> 00:05:13,965
Hi, Mama.
You look good.
129
00:05:14,139 --> 00:05:16,359
NARRATOR:
And that's my grandmother,
Maxine.
130
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:19,754
She was the only woman
who could out-snob my mother.
131
00:05:19,928 --> 00:05:21,930
Your hair smells funny.
132
00:05:22,104 --> 00:05:23,975
Are you still using
that cheap perm?
133
00:05:24,149 --> 00:05:26,500
Dark and Lovely, hmm?
134
00:05:26,674 --> 00:05:28,589
Look at mine.
It's beautiful.
135
00:05:28,763 --> 00:05:30,547
It's beautiful, isn't it?
136
00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:33,681
Good to see you too, Mama.
137
00:05:33,855 --> 00:05:36,640
NARRATOR:
That's my Aunt Charlotte,
but we called her Grievey,
138
00:05:36,814 --> 00:05:38,642
because we only saw her
at funerals.
139
00:05:38,816 --> 00:05:41,341
No birthdays, no weddings.
Just funerals.
140
00:05:41,515 --> 00:05:43,908
Girl, I haven't seen you
since Cheryl's funeral.
141
00:05:44,082 --> 00:05:46,171
[SOBBING]
142
00:05:46,346 --> 00:05:48,043
I know, I know, I know...
143
00:05:48,217 --> 00:05:49,871
Grievey, stop crying.
Come on.
144
00:05:50,045 --> 00:05:51,481
Okay, okay, let me go.
145
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:52,482
Grievey!
146
00:05:52,656 --> 00:05:53,701
Come on, come on.
147
00:05:55,572 --> 00:05:56,791
Come on.
148
00:05:56,965 --> 00:05:58,619
NARRATOR:
That's Aunt Mousey.
149
00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:00,882
We called her that because she talked like a mouse
150
00:06:01,056 --> 00:06:02,971
and she only spoke
when spoken directly to.
151
00:06:03,145 --> 00:06:05,234
Hi, Aunt Mousey.
152
00:06:05,408 --> 00:06:06,366
How you doing?
153
00:06:06,540 --> 00:06:08,585
Fine.Huh?
154
00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:11,762
NARRATOR: My Uncle Michael was almost 40 and never had a job.
155
00:06:11,936 --> 00:06:13,547
He put the "um" in "bum."
156
00:06:13,721 --> 00:06:15,636
Hey, sis, how you doing?
157
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:17,725
Good.Y'all got something to eat?
158
00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:19,640
Yeah, we just--
159
00:06:19,814 --> 00:06:21,642
NARRATOR:
I think he saw a job
chasing him.
160
00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:22,904
Hey, Shaft.
161
00:06:24,253 --> 00:06:25,776
That's too bad
about your grandpa.
162
00:06:25,950 --> 00:06:26,995
Sorry.
163
00:06:27,169 --> 00:06:28,388
Really?
164
00:06:28,562 --> 00:06:30,041
Yeah. I mean...
165
00:06:30,215 --> 00:06:32,522
who's going to teach you
how to tap dance now?
166
00:06:32,696 --> 00:06:36,918
NARRATOR:
Later that day, he beat up
a Chinese kid in my honor.
167
00:06:37,092 --> 00:06:38,267
Oh, here you are.
168
00:06:38,441 --> 00:06:40,051
Hey, everybody.
Hey, everybody.
169
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:41,662
Good to see you.
170
00:06:41,836 --> 00:06:43,272
I'm going
to, uh, take
171
00:06:43,446 --> 00:06:45,492
Michael and Charlotte
upstairs to get situated.
172
00:06:45,666 --> 00:06:47,276
Are you okay, Mousey?Fine.
173
00:06:47,450 --> 00:06:49,060
Okay.
174
00:06:49,234 --> 00:06:51,846
Um, come on,
upstairs, follow me.
175
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:54,239
Julius, shouldn't you
be at work already?
176
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:55,632
Hey, you know,
I'm on my way.
177
00:06:55,806 --> 00:06:56,981
Oh.
178
00:06:57,155 --> 00:06:58,635
I just came by to say hi
real quick.
179
00:06:58,809 --> 00:06:59,854
How are you?
180
00:07:00,028 --> 00:07:01,464
Well as can be expected.
181
00:07:01,638 --> 00:07:03,988
You know, Gene and I
were married for 40 years.
182
00:07:04,162 --> 00:07:06,469
I hope Rochelle and me
make it that far.
183
00:07:06,643 --> 00:07:07,862
The way she
keeps this house,
184
00:07:08,036 --> 00:07:09,951
I'm surprised you
haven't left already.
185
00:07:10,125 --> 00:07:12,519
NARRATOR:
My grandmother
always criticized everything
186
00:07:12,693 --> 00:07:14,738
my mother did.Mama, you like my coat?
187
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:15,957
It's all leather.
188
00:07:16,131 --> 00:07:18,873
Oh...feels rubbery.
189
00:07:19,047 --> 00:07:21,179
Feel mine.
190
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:24,052
Italian leather.
191
00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,271
NARRATOR:
At home, even though
my mother seemed
192
00:07:26,446 --> 00:07:29,318
to be keeping it together,
the house was falling apart.
193
00:07:29,492 --> 00:07:31,102
Rochelle, can you
change the channel?
194
00:07:31,276 --> 00:07:34,192
Sure, no problem.
195
00:07:34,366 --> 00:07:37,761
NARRATOR:
They were treating her
like she was me!
196
00:07:37,935 --> 00:07:40,329
Rochelle, you going to help me
pick out this casket,
197
00:07:40,503 --> 00:07:41,896
or do I have to do it
by myself?
198
00:07:42,070 --> 00:07:43,767
Sure, Mama,
I'll help you in a minute.
199
00:07:43,941 --> 00:07:45,769
Oh, Chellie,
get me a glass of iced tea.
200
00:07:45,943 --> 00:07:46,814
Sure, Mama.
201
00:07:48,598 --> 00:07:50,470
[SNIFFLING]
202
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:55,518
Tea for Mom...turtles.
203
00:07:57,781 --> 00:07:58,826
[OBJECT THUDS]
204
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,306
Damn it!What?
205
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,266
NARRATOR:
You ever had the feeling
you're about to get smacked
206
00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:05,920
upside the head with a yo-yo?
207
00:08:06,094 --> 00:08:07,791
Here, baby.
Be more careful.
208
00:08:07,965 --> 00:08:09,663
You're not mad?
209
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,882
No. Why would I be mad?
210
00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,494
Here, Mama.
211
00:08:18,019 --> 00:08:19,716
Ooh!
212
00:08:19,890 --> 00:08:21,326
This tea tastes funny.
213
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,937
What kind is it?
214
00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:24,112
I think it's Lipton.
215
00:08:24,286 --> 00:08:26,680
Mm-mm, tastes like Nestea.
216
00:08:26,854 --> 00:08:28,377
It's Lipton.
217
00:08:28,551 --> 00:08:29,813
[♪♪♪]
218
00:08:29,987 --> 00:08:30,858
Ick.
219
00:08:34,426 --> 00:08:35,993
Hey.
220
00:08:36,167 --> 00:08:37,560
Want a turtle?
221
00:08:37,734 --> 00:08:39,562
NARRATOR: My mother offering me a turtle?
222
00:08:39,736 --> 00:08:41,956
In her world,
that's a cry for help.
223
00:08:42,870 --> 00:08:44,088
Mm, no thanks.
224
00:08:44,262 --> 00:08:45,916
Mm.
225
00:08:46,090 --> 00:08:48,223
You okay, Ma?
226
00:08:48,397 --> 00:08:49,964
I'm fine.
227
00:08:50,138 --> 00:08:52,140
You sure you don't want
a turtle?
228
00:08:54,490 --> 00:08:55,665
[♪♪♪]
229
00:08:55,839 --> 00:08:57,319
Mmm...
230
00:08:57,493 --> 00:08:58,973
What was that for?
231
00:08:59,147 --> 00:09:01,236
I just wanted to let you know
that I love you.
232
00:09:01,410 --> 00:09:03,586
NARRATOR:
Since my father
was working extra hours
233
00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,501
and my mother
wasn't being herself,
234
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:09,026
I decided to pick up the slack the best way I knew how.
235
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:11,855
Tonya, you go
make up your bed.
236
00:09:12,029 --> 00:09:13,378
Drew, you clean up in here.
237
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:16,164
Sitting in here
playing cards...
238
00:09:16,338 --> 00:09:18,949
NARRATOR:
This was gonna be harder
than I thought.
239
00:09:19,123 --> 00:09:20,298
[♪♪♪]
240
00:09:20,472 --> 00:09:21,996
Turn that mess down!
241
00:09:22,170 --> 00:09:24,128
You trying to make everyone
in the house deaf?
242
00:09:24,302 --> 00:09:26,696
Take your feet
off the table.
243
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,308
Rochelle, tomorrow,
we're going
244
00:09:30,482 --> 00:09:32,484
to the funeral home
to pick out a casket.
245
00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:34,138
Please dress presentably.
246
00:09:34,312 --> 00:09:36,358
I don't want him to think
that we can't afford
247
00:09:36,532 --> 00:09:37,751
a decent casket.Sure, Mama.
248
00:09:37,925 --> 00:09:39,579
You okay, baby?
You need to sit down?
249
00:09:39,753 --> 00:09:41,537
Oh, no, I'm fine.
250
00:09:41,711 --> 00:09:42,669
NARRATOR:
As bad as she felt,
I didn't know
251
00:09:42,843 --> 00:09:44,061
it was about to get worse.
252
00:09:44,235 --> 00:09:45,846
Mm!
253
00:09:46,020 --> 00:09:47,369
Rochelle, can't you make
254
00:09:47,543 --> 00:09:49,284
a decent glass
of iced tea?
255
00:09:49,458 --> 00:09:50,851
Well, can't you
leave her alone?
256
00:09:51,025 --> 00:09:52,330
It's iced tea!
257
00:09:52,504 --> 00:09:54,332
If you're thirsty,
well, then you drink it!
258
00:09:54,506 --> 00:09:56,204
If you're not, don't!
259
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:58,249
NARRATOR:
I might be joining
my grandfather
260
00:09:58,423 --> 00:10:00,556
sooner than I thought.Are you gonna sit there
261
00:10:00,730 --> 00:10:02,427
and let that boy
talk to me like that?
262
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,125
Boy, don't you know
I'll knock you
263
00:10:04,299 --> 00:10:05,517
into another family?
264
00:10:05,692 --> 00:10:07,955
Who are you?
265
00:10:08,129 --> 00:10:09,783
You don't want to know.
266
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:14,352
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
267
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:20,837
Hey, man.
268
00:10:21,011 --> 00:10:22,099
Hey.
269
00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:24,058
Chris...
270
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:27,061
you know you're going to have to
apologize to your grandmother.
271
00:10:27,235 --> 00:10:29,498
How come? She's the one
who's been mean to Mom.
272
00:10:29,672 --> 00:10:32,544
She's hurting, Chris,
and your mother is too.
273
00:10:32,719 --> 00:10:34,721
I know you're trying
to protect your mother,
274
00:10:34,895 --> 00:10:37,898
but trust me, you do not want
to get between the two of them.
275
00:10:38,072 --> 00:10:39,943
You ain't gonna win that one.
276
00:10:40,117 --> 00:10:41,597
I'm already going
to one funeral.
277
00:10:41,771 --> 00:10:43,164
I ain't trying to go
to another.
278
00:10:43,338 --> 00:10:45,296
Well, then what do I do?
279
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:48,256
Do what I do: nothing.
280
00:10:48,430 --> 00:10:49,431
Things will work out.
281
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:51,085
All right?
282
00:10:51,259 --> 00:10:53,174
Apologize.
283
00:10:57,047 --> 00:10:58,570
NARRATOR:
You can't really believe
284
00:10:58,745 --> 00:11:00,790
you're getting married
until you buy that tux.
285
00:11:00,964 --> 00:11:03,010
And you can't really believe
somebody is dead
286
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:04,838
until you've got to buy them
a casket.
287
00:11:05,012 --> 00:11:08,058
Now, we have several models.
288
00:11:08,232 --> 00:11:10,321
This one right over here,
289
00:11:10,495 --> 00:11:12,106
top of the line.
290
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:14,021
Made of mahogany, huh?
291
00:11:14,195 --> 00:11:16,588
Has silk lining
292
00:11:16,763 --> 00:11:19,287
over goose-down bedding...
293
00:11:19,461 --> 00:11:21,376
and a night light.
294
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:24,074
NARRATOR:
I guess that's in case
the dead want to read.
295
00:11:24,248 --> 00:11:25,946
Well, Mama, what
about the blue one?
296
00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:27,382
Oh, the blue one is nice.
297
00:11:27,556 --> 00:11:29,297
I don't like it.She don't like that one.
298
00:11:29,471 --> 00:11:30,907
It's a coffin,
not an Oldsmobile.
299
00:11:31,081 --> 00:11:32,692
I like that one.
300
00:11:32,866 --> 00:11:33,823
Good taste.
301
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,433
Uh, Maxine,
302
00:11:35,607 --> 00:11:37,435
that costs
a lot of money.
303
00:11:37,609 --> 00:11:39,133
Now, we got payment plans.
304
00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:41,309
Well, can we put it
in my father-in-law's name?
305
00:11:41,483 --> 00:11:43,572
Well...no.
306
00:11:43,746 --> 00:11:44,878
I didn't think so.
307
00:11:45,052 --> 00:11:46,140
Okay, Mama,
308
00:11:46,314 --> 00:11:48,011
whatever you want.Oh, okay.
309
00:11:48,185 --> 00:11:49,621
Um, Rochelle,
310
00:11:49,796 --> 00:11:51,188
even if we split
this five ways,
311
00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,581
that's still
a lot of money.
312
00:11:52,755 --> 00:11:54,191
Who's talking
about splitting it?
313
00:11:54,365 --> 00:11:56,541
Well, I just assumed
we'd all chip in.
314
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:58,152
I mean, it is your husband.
315
00:11:58,326 --> 00:12:00,154
Julius, I want to help out.
316
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:02,417
What's this?It's a baseball card.
317
00:12:02,591 --> 00:12:04,506
Al Oliver.
He played in Pittsburgh.
318
00:12:04,680 --> 00:12:06,682
Lifetime 330 hitter.
319
00:12:06,856 --> 00:12:09,641
That card is going to be worth
thousands of dollars someday.
320
00:12:09,816 --> 00:12:10,991
How much is
it worth now?
321
00:12:11,165 --> 00:12:12,079
About a dollar.
322
00:12:13,776 --> 00:12:15,343
I got $40 saved up.
323
00:12:15,517 --> 00:12:16,779
What about you,
Aunt Mousey?
324
00:12:16,953 --> 00:12:18,825
I have some quarters.
325
00:12:18,999 --> 00:12:21,175
NARRATOR:
Too bad he won't be playing
Asteroids.
326
00:12:21,349 --> 00:12:22,916
Mama, I just don't think
327
00:12:23,090 --> 00:12:25,005
that we can afford
this right now.
328
00:12:25,179 --> 00:12:26,571
Why not?
329
00:12:26,746 --> 00:12:28,530
Baby, you always bragging
330
00:12:28,704 --> 00:12:30,793
about how your husband
has two jobs.
331
00:12:30,967 --> 00:12:32,969
I do not.
332
00:12:33,143 --> 00:12:35,276
I do not need this.
My man has two jobs.
333
00:12:35,450 --> 00:12:36,668
My husband has two jobs.
334
00:12:36,843 --> 00:12:38,235
I don't need
to be here right now.
335
00:12:38,409 --> 00:12:41,108
I do not need this!
My man has two jobs, okay?
336
00:12:41,282 --> 00:12:44,981
My husband deserves
to be buried with dignity.
337
00:12:45,155 --> 00:12:47,288
Now, who are you
to deny me that?
338
00:12:47,462 --> 00:12:49,551
Mama, we're not
trying to deny you--
339
00:12:49,725 --> 00:12:51,074
--dignity, I mean--
340
00:12:51,248 --> 00:12:52,249
You only die once.
341
00:12:52,423 --> 00:12:54,338
[SOBBING]
342
00:12:54,512 --> 00:12:58,038
You owe it to your father
to let him go in style.
343
00:12:58,212 --> 00:13:00,344
Fine! Fine!
344
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:04,000
You do whatever
the hell you want.
345
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,393
Mama...Come on!
346
00:13:05,567 --> 00:13:06,698
Mama, I wasn't trying--
347
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:07,917
MICHAEL:
I'm coming, Mama.
348
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:10,572
Rochelle, you wrong.
349
00:13:11,747 --> 00:13:13,357
Poor baby.
350
00:13:13,531 --> 00:13:15,098
[CLEARS THROAT]
351
00:13:16,143 --> 00:13:18,058
We'll take the blue one.
352
00:13:18,232 --> 00:13:19,842
My daddy liked blue.
353
00:13:20,712 --> 00:13:22,671
[♪♪♪]
354
00:13:29,112 --> 00:13:30,984
I always hated that picture.
355
00:13:31,158 --> 00:13:32,637
It made me look
like I got smacked
356
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,683
in the head with a brick.
357
00:13:34,857 --> 00:13:36,859
Oh, hi, Daddy.
358
00:13:37,033 --> 00:13:38,469
You want a turtle?
359
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:41,603
No, but how you doing?
360
00:13:41,777 --> 00:13:42,909
I'm okay.
361
00:13:43,083 --> 00:13:45,781
Mama's getting
on my last nerve.
362
00:13:45,955 --> 00:13:47,652
Oh, she can do that.
363
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,829
She used to get
on my nerves too.
364
00:13:50,003 --> 00:13:51,569
You know,
just because I'm dead
365
00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:54,094
doesn't mean you have
to let her push you around.
366
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:55,922
And if she tries
to do that,
367
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:57,967
you smack her in the head
with that brick.
368
00:13:58,141 --> 00:14:00,143
[CHUCKLING]
369
00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:03,538
[SIGHS]
370
00:14:08,021 --> 00:14:09,631
NARRATOR:
By the day of the funeral,
371
00:14:09,805 --> 00:14:11,938
there was still one thing
left to fight over:
372
00:14:12,112 --> 00:14:13,983
who gets to ride in the limo.
373
00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:16,507
[SCREAMING]
374
00:14:21,425 --> 00:14:23,471
Who are you, and what
are you doing in here?
375
00:14:23,645 --> 00:14:26,909
Hey, I'm Monay, this is Aisha,
and this is Tiki.
376
00:14:27,083 --> 00:14:28,824
We saw the limo
so we had to hop in it.
377
00:14:28,998 --> 00:14:30,347
Where y'all
about to go?
378
00:14:30,521 --> 00:14:31,827
A funeral.
379
00:14:32,001 --> 00:14:34,090
Oh, I'm sorry.
380
00:14:34,264 --> 00:14:35,265
Who died?
381
00:14:35,439 --> 00:14:36,745
My husband.
382
00:14:36,919 --> 00:14:38,225
Oh.
383
00:14:38,399 --> 00:14:41,881
Okay, well,
when y'all get back,
384
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:44,492
and if y'all not taking
the limo...
385
00:14:44,666 --> 00:14:46,015
can we take it to the club?
386
00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:48,017
Okay.
387
00:14:48,191 --> 00:14:49,149
[GIGGLES]
388
00:14:51,673 --> 00:14:54,806
NARRATOR:
The only thing more crowded than a limo before the funeral
389
00:14:54,981 --> 00:14:56,939
is your house
after the funeral.
390
00:14:57,113 --> 00:14:58,462
Hey, what are you doing here?
391
00:14:58,636 --> 00:15:00,551
My dad dropped me off
to pay my respects.
392
00:15:00,725 --> 00:15:02,423
Thanks, man.He had to go to work.
393
00:15:02,597 --> 00:15:05,034
Mama! Come look!
394
00:15:05,208 --> 00:15:07,080
Chris has got
a white friend.
395
00:15:07,254 --> 00:15:08,908
Michael, close
your mouth.
396
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:11,519
Stop acting like you never
seen a white person before.
397
00:15:11,693 --> 00:15:13,260
Hi, honey.
You hungry?
398
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:14,478
You want something
to eat?
399
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:15,479
Sure.
400
00:15:15,653 --> 00:15:17,351
Well, come on.
401
00:15:17,525 --> 00:15:18,874
No, thank you.
402
00:15:19,048 --> 00:15:20,920
How about a slinky?
Would you like a slinky?
403
00:15:21,094 --> 00:15:22,834
[ALL CHATTERING]
404
00:15:23,009 --> 00:15:24,619
I left a whole load
of sloppies
405
00:15:24,793 --> 00:15:25,968
in the kitchen
for you guys.
406
00:15:26,142 --> 00:15:27,709
Thank you. Thank you.Thank you.
407
00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:30,755
Chris, I got
a new video game at the store.
408
00:15:30,930 --> 00:15:32,540
Okay.
409
00:15:32,714 --> 00:15:34,585
Next time someone dies,
let me know.
410
00:15:34,759 --> 00:15:36,457
I'll get you a good deal
on a casket.
411
00:15:36,631 --> 00:15:38,938
Man, what is
your problem?
412
00:15:39,112 --> 00:15:41,114
Sorry about your grandfather,
Chris.
413
00:15:41,288 --> 00:15:43,203
NARRATOR:
The one good thing
about losing a family member
414
00:15:43,377 --> 00:15:44,944
is that you get
lots of sympathy.
415
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:46,510
What are you doing?
416
00:15:46,684 --> 00:15:48,164
My grandfather died.
417
00:15:48,338 --> 00:15:49,861
Just because
your grandfather died
418
00:15:50,036 --> 00:15:52,125
doesn't mean you can go around
hugging people.
419
00:15:53,865 --> 00:15:56,738
Sorry about
your grandfather.
420
00:15:56,912 --> 00:15:59,349
NARRATOR:
At least somebody was getting
some sympathy.
421
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,310
Who is that?I don't know.
422
00:16:03,484 --> 00:16:05,529
Hey, little dude
from across the street,
423
00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:06,530
here you go, man.
424
00:16:06,704 --> 00:16:08,054
What's this?
425
00:16:08,228 --> 00:16:09,794
I robbed your grandfather
a few times.
426
00:16:09,969 --> 00:16:11,187
I didn't know you knew him.
427
00:16:14,669 --> 00:16:16,410
[SIGHS]
428
00:16:16,584 --> 00:16:18,194
My turtles.
429
00:16:19,413 --> 00:16:21,284
[♪♪♪]
430
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:33,470
Who ate my turtles?
431
00:16:33,644 --> 00:16:35,559
Oh, is that
what you call them things?
432
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:37,779
I ate them,
but they was nasty.
433
00:16:37,953 --> 00:16:39,694
What's in those things,
anyway?
434
00:16:39,868 --> 00:16:42,958
If you didn't like them,
why did you eat them?
435
00:16:43,132 --> 00:16:44,829
Mama, I am sick of you.
436
00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:47,702
Ever since you got here, you
have not stopped complaining.
437
00:16:47,876 --> 00:16:49,356
Just because Daddy is dead
438
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,532
does not mean
that you can come into my house
439
00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:53,099
and tell everybody
what to do.
440
00:16:53,273 --> 00:16:55,318
Michael, get your feet
off of my damn couch
441
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:57,581
before I slap the jam
out of your toes.
442
00:16:57,755 --> 00:16:59,279
Aunt Grievey,
stop all that crying.
443
00:16:59,453 --> 00:17:00,715
You cried on Easter.
444
00:17:00,889 --> 00:17:02,282
You cried on Halloween.
445
00:17:02,456 --> 00:17:04,501
You cried on Flag Day.
446
00:17:04,675 --> 00:17:06,373
Get some Kleenex,
wipe your nose,
447
00:17:06,547 --> 00:17:08,288
'cause it ain't that damn sad.
448
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,854
[SOBBING]
449
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:11,769
And hang up my phone!
450
00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,293
And Aunt Mousey,
451
00:17:13,467 --> 00:17:14,816
take off your coat
452
00:17:14,990 --> 00:17:16,557
and speak up.
453
00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,733
You're over there peeping
and squeaking.
454
00:17:18,907 --> 00:17:21,040
[IMITATES SQUEAKING]
You sound like a damn rat.
455
00:17:21,214 --> 00:17:22,345
Use your words!
456
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,521
You're damn near 60 years old!
457
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,393
And, Mama,
the next time you want
458
00:17:26,567 --> 00:17:30,223
to eat my turtles, the least
you could do is like them.
459
00:17:30,397 --> 00:17:31,441
[DOOR SLAMS]
460
00:17:31,615 --> 00:17:33,748
NARRATOR:
She's back!
461
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,360
[♪♪♪]
462
00:17:38,274 --> 00:17:39,145
Hey.
463
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:40,320
Hey, baby.
464
00:17:40,494 --> 00:17:41,408
How you doing?
465
00:17:41,582 --> 00:17:43,018
I'm fine.
466
00:17:43,192 --> 00:17:44,846
I brought you
your turtles.
467
00:17:45,020 --> 00:17:47,240
Yay, turtles.
Thank you.
468
00:17:47,414 --> 00:17:49,590
I'm proud of you
for standing up to your mother.
469
00:17:49,764 --> 00:17:51,461
You had me worried there
for a minute.
470
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,159
Why?
471
00:17:53,333 --> 00:17:55,900
I thought you were
about to smack her with a brick.
472
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:58,033
[BOTH LAUGH]
473
00:17:58,207 --> 00:17:59,904
It's so good
seeing you, girl.
474
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,471
You take care.
475
00:18:01,645 --> 00:18:03,212
You owe me
some Kleenex.
476
00:18:03,386 --> 00:18:04,822
See you later, thanks for
all the chicken and things.
477
00:18:04,996 --> 00:18:07,695
All right, and stay out
of them pretzels. Bye.
478
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,262
So...
479
00:18:09,436 --> 00:18:10,611
[SIGHS]
480
00:18:10,785 --> 00:18:12,613
Did he say anything
before he died?
481
00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,180
Who, Daddy?
482
00:18:14,354 --> 00:18:15,833
No, Martin Luther King.
483
00:18:16,007 --> 00:18:18,706
Yes, your father.
Did he mention me?
484
00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,883
No, he just asked
for more pork chops.
485
00:18:22,057 --> 00:18:24,842
NARRATOR:
I know what you're thinking:
"She should have lied."
486
00:18:25,016 --> 00:18:27,106
But actually,
the truth was better.
487
00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,542
Figures.
488
00:18:28,716 --> 00:18:31,458
I liked the flowers.
489
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,157
You liked them?I guess so.
490
00:18:35,331 --> 00:18:37,942
NARRATOR:
I know that doesn't seem
like much of an apology
491
00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:39,640
after everything
that's happened,
492
00:18:39,814 --> 00:18:41,903
but here's what
she really meant to say...
493
00:18:42,077 --> 00:18:44,949
Baby, I am
so proud of you.
494
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:46,386
I know.
495
00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,170
You are doing
a wonderful job.
496
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,606
I know!
497
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:51,739
I wish my no-good son
would stand up for me
498
00:18:51,913 --> 00:18:54,045
the way your son
stood up for you.
I know!
499
00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:57,527
And your father--
Oh, he would be so proud of you.
500
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,050
I know!
501
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,922
Well, Mama,
why are you so damn mean?
502
00:19:01,096 --> 00:19:02,532
I don't know.
503
00:19:02,706 --> 00:19:05,361
And baby, your hair,
it don't stink.
504
00:19:05,535 --> 00:19:07,189
I know.
505
00:19:07,363 --> 00:19:09,409
See you around.
506
00:19:10,453 --> 00:19:12,238
Take care, Mama.
507
00:19:12,412 --> 00:19:14,283
[♪♪♪]
508
00:19:16,329 --> 00:19:17,591
That's all of it.
509
00:19:17,765 --> 00:19:19,201
Oh, thank you, baby.
510
00:19:20,550 --> 00:19:22,117
I'm really going
to miss him, Mom.
511
00:19:22,291 --> 00:19:25,338
Me too, Chris.
Me too.
512
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:30,517
Chris, get in here
and pick up this yo-yo!
513
00:19:30,691 --> 00:19:32,432
My father died,
for goodness sake,
514
00:19:32,606 --> 00:19:34,738
and now you're trying
to kill me too!
515
00:19:36,044 --> 00:19:41,180
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
516
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,792
[♪♪♪]
517
00:19:46,533 --> 00:19:49,579
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
33763
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof