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1
00:00:01,002 --> 00:00:05,937
(theme song plays)
2
00:00:40,758 --> 00:00:42,324
Yep, never fails.
3
00:00:42,393 --> 00:00:44,493
Every morning,
my brilliant brother
4
00:00:44,561 --> 00:00:46,895
grabs my books
and leaves me his.
5
00:00:46,964 --> 00:00:49,798
See Robbie anywhere
in that mass of juveniles?
6
00:00:49,867 --> 00:00:52,150
Hey, Mike, who's
looking for your brother?
7
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:55,454
Concentrate your gaze
on yon luscious creature.
8
00:00:55,522 --> 00:00:56,688
Hey, how about that, man?
9
00:00:56,757 --> 00:01:00,676
She's looking at you
and sending messages.
10
00:01:00,744 --> 00:01:02,860
Uh, a little young,
but very cute.
11
00:01:04,314 --> 00:01:05,246
Oh, hi, Robbie.
12
00:01:05,315 --> 00:01:06,815
Oh, hi.
13
00:01:06,884 --> 00:01:09,384
There is a gorgeous man.
14
00:01:09,452 --> 00:01:13,622
That is a dream, a real dream.
15
00:01:13,691 --> 00:01:16,141
I'd give anything
to know who he is.
16
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,779
That's Robbie Douglas.
17
00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:22,614
You know him?
18
00:01:22,682 --> 00:01:24,082
Sure, we're buddies.
19
00:01:24,151 --> 00:01:26,429
I've known old
Robbie a long time.
20
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:28,398
What's so great about him?
21
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:29,855
He's beautiful.
22
00:01:29,924 --> 00:01:31,289
Robbie Douglas.
23
00:01:31,358 --> 00:01:33,258
Even his name is beautiful.
24
00:01:36,213 --> 00:01:39,581
You've sure got a
weird idea of beauty.
25
00:01:39,649 --> 00:01:41,895
Okay, why don't you keep
your books away from my stuff?
26
00:01:41,919 --> 00:01:44,202
You left the house
before I did, bean brain!
27
00:01:44,271 --> 00:01:46,071
Why don't you look
what books you're taking?
28
00:01:46,139 --> 00:01:47,517
Hey, come on,
Mike, let's go, huh?
29
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:49,085
We're gonna be late
getting back to school.
30
00:01:49,109 --> 00:01:51,087
What'd you do with
my homework papers?
31
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:53,678
Well, I put them between
two pieces of bread,
32
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,363
and I ate them for lunch.
33
00:01:55,432 --> 00:01:56,698
Well, who folded them?
34
00:01:56,767 --> 00:01:58,717
Hey, we'll see
you, okay, Robbie?
35
00:01:58,786 --> 00:02:00,146
Come on. Yeah, Russ.
36
00:02:00,170 --> 00:02:01,869
(school bell ringing)
37
00:02:01,938 --> 00:02:03,638
Why don't you be real sweet
38
00:02:03,707 --> 00:02:05,407
and introduce me to Robbie?
39
00:02:05,475 --> 00:02:07,542
Okay.
40
00:02:07,611 --> 00:02:10,171
We'll see you at
the library tonight.
41
00:02:11,765 --> 00:02:13,131
Hey, that little blonde
42
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,877
is still flashing you the
green light. (engine sputtering)
43
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,884
Awful young,
though... Junior high.
44
00:02:16,953 --> 00:02:18,136
You kidding?
45
00:02:18,205 --> 00:02:21,139
She's gonna be going in
the tenth grade next year.
46
00:02:21,208 --> 00:02:23,102
Hey, I know how
you can meet her.
47
00:02:23,126 --> 00:02:25,577
Look, she's at the
library every night.
48
00:02:25,646 --> 00:02:27,590
Oh, don't let me forget
49
00:02:27,614 --> 00:02:29,025
to return those books tonight.
50
00:02:29,049 --> 00:02:30,282
(engine sputtering)
51
00:02:30,350 --> 00:02:32,484
Hey, uh, you might try the key.
52
00:02:35,422 --> 00:02:37,055
(engine starts)
53
00:02:43,814 --> 00:02:45,897
Me? Me?
54
00:02:45,966 --> 00:02:47,627
She's the prettiest
girl in the whole school.
55
00:02:47,651 --> 00:02:49,901
Yeah, she still
wants to meet you.
56
00:02:49,969 --> 00:02:51,769
Maybe she's stupid or something.
57
00:02:51,838 --> 00:02:53,338
Well, I got to go.
58
00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:54,617
See you at the library tonight.
59
00:02:54,641 --> 00:02:56,941
Yeah, Gordy, I'll be there.
60
00:02:58,879 --> 00:03:01,746
Oh, boy, will I be there!
61
00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:13,358
Maybe you better start over.
62
00:03:13,427 --> 00:03:15,627
Three of those hairs
are going the wrong way.
63
00:03:15,696 --> 00:03:17,445
Ha ha, I'm laughing.
64
00:03:17,514 --> 00:03:18,830
Ha ha.
65
00:03:18,899 --> 00:03:20,944
How about laughing your
way right down to the kitchen
66
00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,679
and start wiping
the dinner dishes?
67
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,536
Okay, okay.
68
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:26,382
Those trash cans don't
haul themselves out
69
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,084
to the curb, either, you know?
70
00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:30,007
How come I always
got to do everything?
71
00:03:30,076 --> 00:03:31,976
I got to get to the library.
72
00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:34,112
Where's old Mike,
and how about Chip?
73
00:03:34,180 --> 00:03:36,226
I'll take care of "old Mike
and how about Chip,"
74
00:03:36,250 --> 00:03:38,810
you just get down there.
75
00:03:40,019 --> 00:03:41,553
(sniffs)
76
00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:43,733
What have you got on?
77
00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,023
It's lotion, after shaving.
78
00:03:46,092 --> 00:03:48,526
After shaving what?
79
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,596
You smell like an
explosion in a barbershop.
80
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:54,009
Now, come on, let's
get to the dishes.
81
00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,177
Come on!
82
00:03:55,201 --> 00:03:58,419
I'm coming!
83
00:04:00,274 --> 00:04:02,052
Tramp, would you
mind transferring yourself
84
00:04:02,076 --> 00:04:04,509
to some other part
of the house, hmm?
85
00:04:06,563 --> 00:04:08,796
Why don't you ever mind me?
86
00:04:08,865 --> 00:04:11,649
Chip, could you get this
pile of hay out of the kitchen?
87
00:04:11,718 --> 00:04:13,678
CHIP: Here, Tramp! (barks)
88
00:04:13,737 --> 00:04:15,030
Here, Tramp! (barks)
89
00:04:15,054 --> 00:04:17,072
Here, Tramp! (barks)
90
00:04:17,140 --> 00:04:18,885
Well, now, don't start a
conversation with him.
91
00:04:18,909 --> 00:04:20,869
Just, uh, come and
get him, will you?
92
00:04:22,412 --> 00:04:24,946
Sorry, boy.
93
00:04:35,576 --> 00:04:37,842
Either there's a window
in that comic book,
94
00:04:37,911 --> 00:04:39,677
or that boy has radar.
95
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:42,447
I'll swear, rounding
those kids up to work
96
00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:43,993
is like cornering
a couple of eels.
97
00:04:44,017 --> 00:04:45,250
Yeah, come on, Mike, Robbie!
98
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:47,063
Come on, Robbie, give
us a hand in the kitchen.
99
00:04:47,087 --> 00:04:49,499
Grab a towel, Mike,
and start drying.
100
00:04:49,523 --> 00:04:51,067
Well, Dad's using the towel.
101
00:04:51,091 --> 00:04:52,702
Oh, we're rich... We
have two dish towels.
102
00:04:52,726 --> 00:04:54,225
I'll use the other one.
103
00:04:54,295 --> 00:04:56,773
Why can't Robbie dry the dishes?
104
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,330
I'll take the trash cans out.
105
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,798
I'm taking the cans out.
106
00:04:59,866 --> 00:05:00,899
Who said so?
107
00:05:00,967 --> 00:05:02,033
I said so.
108
00:05:02,102 --> 00:05:03,902
I can't stand around
all night drying dishes.
109
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:05,236
I got to get to the library.
110
00:05:05,306 --> 00:05:06,237
Oh, that's a fat reason.
111
00:05:06,307 --> 00:05:07,587
I got to go to the library, too!
112
00:05:07,641 --> 00:05:08,774
Now, here, start drying.
113
00:05:08,842 --> 00:05:10,020
I'm not gonna!
You got the towel.
114
00:05:10,044 --> 00:05:11,660
Robbie, I'm gonna belt you one.
115
00:05:11,728 --> 00:05:12,939
Go on, just try
it. Now, listen...
116
00:05:12,963 --> 00:05:13,973
I dare you... go on.
117
00:05:13,997 --> 00:05:15,274
Will you fellas knock it off?
118
00:05:15,298 --> 00:05:16,509
You're just about old enough now
119
00:05:16,533 --> 00:05:17,610
to start settling your arguments
120
00:05:17,634 --> 00:05:18,861
without whacking each other.
121
00:05:18,885 --> 00:05:21,653
All right, we'll settle
it like gentlemen.
122
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:24,217
Well, now you're making sense.
123
00:05:24,241 --> 00:05:25,351
I'll take the cans out!
124
00:05:25,375 --> 00:05:27,375
MIKE: No, you don't!
Now, wait a minute!
125
00:05:27,443 --> 00:05:29,255
(boys arguing) What's
the matter with those kids?
126
00:05:29,279 --> 00:05:30,322
Oh, let them alone,
127
00:05:30,346 --> 00:05:31,557
they're not gonna
hurt each other.
128
00:05:31,581 --> 00:05:33,548
Well, you keep saying
that but they're loud.
129
00:05:33,617 --> 00:05:35,300
It's all noise and no damage.
130
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,235
It's natural for
kids to fight a little.
131
00:05:37,304 --> 00:05:39,081
(arguing continues)
Helps them let off steam.
132
00:05:39,105 --> 00:05:40,038
But can't they let off steam
133
00:05:40,106 --> 00:05:41,684
without braining each other?
134
00:05:41,708 --> 00:05:43,085
What are we trying
to raise around here,
135
00:05:43,109 --> 00:05:44,920
a couple of intelligent
human beings
136
00:05:44,944 --> 00:05:47,624
or a pair of wildcats?
(arguing stops)
137
00:05:47,648 --> 00:05:49,492
There, you see? It's
all over. (dog barking)
138
00:05:49,516 --> 00:05:50,448
Yeah.
139
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:51,783
(loud clanging)
140
00:05:51,851 --> 00:05:53,263
Oh, sure, it's all over.
141
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,330
Somebody just clobbered somebody
142
00:05:54,354 --> 00:05:55,554
with a trash can lid.
143
00:05:55,622 --> 00:05:58,523
Oh, I hate that
Mike! Boy, I hate him!
144
00:05:58,592 --> 00:06:00,603
Now, Robbie, how many
times have I told you
145
00:06:00,627 --> 00:06:01,704
you can't win by fighting?
146
00:06:01,728 --> 00:06:02,772
Who's fighting?
147
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:05,356
We flipped the
lid and I still lost!
148
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,615
You sure Robbie's coming?
149
00:06:12,639 --> 00:06:13,639
I talked to him.
150
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:14,806
He said he'd be here.
151
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:16,735
Maybe he went to
the wrong library.
152
00:06:16,759 --> 00:06:19,027
There's no such thing
as "the wrong library."
153
00:06:19,096 --> 00:06:21,579
The library's the library.
154
00:06:21,648 --> 00:06:23,814
There he is.
155
00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:25,182
Where?
156
00:06:25,251 --> 00:06:26,796
Right there, in the windbreaker.
157
00:06:26,820 --> 00:06:28,569
That's not Robbie.
158
00:06:28,638 --> 00:06:29,937
It most certainly is.
159
00:06:30,006 --> 00:06:32,018
That's the boy I
saw in front of school.
160
00:06:32,042 --> 00:06:34,203
Well, you were looking
at the wrong guy. He's...
161
00:06:34,227 --> 00:06:35,471
That's-that's
Robbie's big brother.
162
00:06:35,495 --> 00:06:37,339
He's the one I want to meet.
163
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:38,463
Oh, boy.
164
00:06:38,531 --> 00:06:39,709
You promised.
165
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,499
But I... but I can't.
166
00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:43,212
Oh, yes, you can, come on.
167
00:06:43,236 --> 00:06:44,168
What are you doing?
168
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:46,004
Come on.
169
00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:56,080
Uh, hi, Mike.
170
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,699
Oh, hi, Gordy.
171
00:07:02,489 --> 00:07:04,539
Ow!
172
00:07:04,608 --> 00:07:08,142
Mike... Judy, uh, this is Mike.
173
00:07:08,211 --> 00:07:10,328
I'm very happy
to know you, Mike.
174
00:07:10,397 --> 00:07:12,780
Well, it was nice
meeting you, too.
175
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,649
Well, I got to go.
176
00:07:15,718 --> 00:07:18,278
I'll see you all later.
177
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,103
I saw you in front
of school today.
178
00:07:24,127 --> 00:07:25,844
I love your car.
179
00:07:25,912 --> 00:07:26,845
Well, thank you.
180
00:07:26,914 --> 00:07:28,613
I remember, you were with Gordy.
181
00:07:28,682 --> 00:07:30,799
He's just a friend of my family.
182
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,334
Awfully nice, but
terribly young.
183
00:07:37,491 --> 00:07:40,391
Here, let me carry
some of these for you.
184
00:07:43,563 --> 00:07:45,363
Thank you.
185
00:07:53,189 --> 00:07:55,300
I don't mind
walking home, really.
186
00:07:55,324 --> 00:07:57,620
It's only about eight blocks.
187
00:07:57,644 --> 00:07:58,943
Eight blocks?
188
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:00,578
Come on, I'll give you a lift.
189
00:08:00,647 --> 00:08:01,579
You'll never make it.
190
00:08:01,648 --> 00:08:03,214
You're very kind.
191
00:08:06,453 --> 00:08:08,553
(bike horn honking)
192
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,254
(tires screeching)
193
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:11,389
Hey!
194
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,891
Oh, hi, Robbie.
195
00:08:14,043 --> 00:08:15,872
Well, what do you
think you're doing?
196
00:08:15,896 --> 00:08:18,191
Well, what does it
look like I'm doing?
197
00:08:18,215 --> 00:08:20,026
You know my brother,
don't you, Judy?
198
00:08:20,050 --> 00:08:22,716
Hi, I have a
little brother, too.
199
00:08:22,785 --> 00:08:24,018
His name's Robbie.
200
00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:25,264
I've seen you around school.
201
00:08:25,288 --> 00:08:26,621
See you at the house, sport.
202
00:08:36,116 --> 00:08:40,335
(bottle squeaking)
203
00:08:40,403 --> 00:08:43,070
(growling)
204
00:08:43,139 --> 00:08:44,367
All right, Tramp,
205
00:08:44,391 --> 00:08:45,834
you've given your
imitation of a watchdog.
206
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:46,953
Go on back to sleep.
207
00:08:46,977 --> 00:08:50,562
(barking)
208
00:08:50,631 --> 00:08:52,296
Pipe down, pipe down, stupid!
209
00:08:52,365 --> 00:08:53,665
There's nobody out there.
210
00:08:53,734 --> 00:08:55,417
(barking)
211
00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:59,771
What's the matter, boy,
you hear something?
212
00:09:04,628 --> 00:09:07,829
Nobody out there, see?
213
00:09:10,918 --> 00:09:12,350
Where's Robbie, Dad?
214
00:09:12,419 --> 00:09:13,662
He went to the library.
215
00:09:13,686 --> 00:09:14,686
On his bike?
216
00:09:14,721 --> 00:09:16,032
Yeah, I guess, so... why?
217
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,722
His bike's on the front lawn.
218
00:09:17,791 --> 00:09:19,002
Well, maybe he's
roughing it tonight
219
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,303
and walked down to the library.
220
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:21,259
(chuckling)
221
00:09:21,328 --> 00:09:22,860
Dad, how come you're always
222
00:09:22,930 --> 00:09:25,931
making Mike and Robbie
stop slugging each other?
223
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:28,699
Well, I try to keep them
from slugging each other,
224
00:09:28,768 --> 00:09:30,880
because no argument
is ever settled,
225
00:09:30,904 --> 00:09:32,949
no problem is ever
solved by fighting.
226
00:09:32,973 --> 00:09:34,439
(dog growling)
227
00:09:34,507 --> 00:09:37,642
(panting, growling)
228
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,915
"Little brother."
229
00:09:45,969 --> 00:09:47,952
(growling)
230
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:50,449
Animals fight because
they haven't the intelligence
231
00:09:50,473 --> 00:09:52,385
to settle their
differences any other way,
232
00:09:52,409 --> 00:09:54,808
but human beings can sit
down and talk things over
233
00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:56,255
and weigh the facts on each side
234
00:09:56,279 --> 00:09:58,746
and come to a fair and
reasonable agreement.
235
00:09:58,814 --> 00:10:01,115
They don't have to
tear each other apart
236
00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:04,085
like, uh, predatory
beasts of the jungle.
237
00:10:04,154 --> 00:10:06,714
Who's a predatory beast?
238
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:11,292
I never started
a fight in my life,
239
00:10:11,361 --> 00:10:13,895
but I finished many a
one, I can tell you that,
240
00:10:13,963 --> 00:10:17,165
but I don't call that
being a... predatory beast.
241
00:10:17,234 --> 00:10:18,483
Okay, skip the beast.
242
00:10:18,551 --> 00:10:19,791
Come on, Chipper, time for bed.
243
00:10:19,819 --> 00:10:21,731
Say, Steve, uh,
speaking about fighting,
244
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,053
did I ever tell you
245
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,533
about that bus driver
over at Plainview?
246
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,597
Yes, yes, you did, Bub.
But you didn't tell me.
247
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:28,971
Well, it was on Saturday
night way after midnight... Bub...
248
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,406
and the bunch were coming
out of Moriarty's... Bub...
249
00:10:30,430 --> 00:10:32,363
Bub, it's not a bedtime story.
250
00:10:32,432 --> 00:10:34,182
Go on. Huh?
251
00:10:36,036 --> 00:10:37,952
(car approaching)
252
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:48,013
Oh, boy, you're
gonna get it, Mike.
253
00:10:48,081 --> 00:10:51,665
(car radio playing instrumental)
254
00:10:54,537 --> 00:10:58,673
(whistling)
255
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,154
You dirty, no good,
two-faced timer!
256
00:11:01,178 --> 00:11:04,212
What? You crock...
I'm gonna get you!
257
00:11:04,281 --> 00:11:05,813
You're gonna get it.
258
00:11:05,882 --> 00:11:07,048
(both grunting)
259
00:11:07,117 --> 00:11:08,294
What is the matter with you?
260
00:11:08,318 --> 00:11:10,196
Why, taking my
girl away tonight!
261
00:11:10,220 --> 00:11:11,630
(dog barking) (boys arguing)
262
00:11:11,654 --> 00:11:12,865
Well, there they are,
263
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:14,433
your intelligent
little human beings,
264
00:11:14,457 --> 00:11:17,208
weighing the facts on each side.
265
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:18,409
Wait, wait, now stop it!
266
00:11:18,478 --> 00:11:20,528
Robbie, now, come
on, just a second!
267
00:11:20,597 --> 00:11:22,997
(barking) STEVE:
Tramp... (arguing)
268
00:11:23,066 --> 00:11:24,265
What's going on?
269
00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:26,044
Nothing's going on,
Chip, just go to bed.
270
00:11:26,068 --> 00:11:27,480
I'll be up in a few minutes.
271
00:11:27,504 --> 00:11:29,087
Jeepers, I miss all the fun.
272
00:11:29,155 --> 00:11:30,188
Now stop it!
273
00:11:30,256 --> 00:11:31,951
Robbie, stop it, I mean it.
274
00:11:31,975 --> 00:11:33,836
Wait till you hear what
he did, the dirty crook!
275
00:11:33,860 --> 00:11:34,987
I didn't do anything.
276
00:11:35,011 --> 00:11:36,761
Not much, you big
fat double-crosser!
277
00:11:36,829 --> 00:11:38,106
Now, Robbie, that's enough.
278
00:11:38,130 --> 00:11:39,942
I'll get the boxing
gloves. Never mind, Bub.
279
00:11:39,966 --> 00:11:42,250
Well, spare the boxing
gloves, spoil the child.
280
00:11:42,319 --> 00:11:44,635
Now, you two stop acting
like a couple of animals.
281
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:45,970
Now, what brought this on?
282
00:11:46,039 --> 00:11:47,105
Human nature.
283
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,284
He jumped me.
284
00:11:48,308 --> 00:11:49,919
I was just walking
up to the door,
285
00:11:49,943 --> 00:11:51,554
and he jumped on
me for no reason.
286
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:52,627
No reason?!
287
00:11:52,696 --> 00:11:54,573
Oh, that sounds like
dirty fighting, Robbie.
288
00:11:54,597 --> 00:11:56,509
(barking) STEVE: Tramp, stop it!
289
00:11:56,533 --> 00:11:58,227
Just stop it, stop it, Tramp.
290
00:11:58,251 --> 00:12:01,152
Now, tell me, why
did you jump on Mike?
291
00:12:01,221 --> 00:12:03,032
Because he's a big fat
double-crosser. Shh, shh.
292
00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,166
Now, wait just a minute.
293
00:12:04,190 --> 00:12:06,290
The neighbors.
294
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:07,937
Now, why did you jump on Mike?
295
00:12:07,961 --> 00:12:09,172
Stick to the facts, will you?
296
00:12:09,196 --> 00:12:10,962
I'll tell you the facts.
297
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:12,630
Judy was gonna be at the library
298
00:12:12,699 --> 00:12:14,794
and Gordy was gonna
introduce her to me. Mm-hmm.
299
00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,295
She was waiting
there to meet me and...
300
00:12:16,319 --> 00:12:18,130
She wasn't waiting to meet you.
301
00:12:18,154 --> 00:12:19,454
And this big fat double-crosser
302
00:12:19,522 --> 00:12:21,150
snuck down there
and cut me out! Shh.
303
00:12:21,174 --> 00:12:22,468
Well, for crying out loud, Mike.
304
00:12:22,492 --> 00:12:24,102
Are you kidding? I
don't blame you, Robbie.
305
00:12:24,126 --> 00:12:25,271
Gordy was... Just...
306
00:12:25,295 --> 00:12:26,860
Gordy and me had
it all planned out,
307
00:12:26,929 --> 00:12:28,946
and you had to stick
your big fat face in it!
308
00:12:29,015 --> 00:12:30,431
Just fighting fire with fire.
309
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,799
Now, just a minute.
310
00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:33,846
Now will you answer
one question for me?
311
00:12:33,870 --> 00:12:35,180
Who is this Judy? And what...
312
00:12:35,204 --> 00:12:37,939
Driving her all over
town in your big fancy car.
313
00:12:38,008 --> 00:12:39,008
An eye for an eye.
314
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:41,292
Will you tell me who is Judy?
315
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:43,160
He's got no right
taking out my girl!
316
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:44,695
Your girl?!
317
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:46,909
I introduced him to her.
318
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,000
Why, Robbie, you
little so-and-so.
319
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:52,353
Look, how can you both be
interested in the same girl?
320
00:12:52,422 --> 00:12:53,371
Yeah.
321
00:12:53,439 --> 00:12:55,017
Well I'm not interested in her,
322
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,537
but if he's gonna get nasty
about it, maybe I will be!
323
00:12:57,561 --> 00:12:58,459
I don't blame you.
324
00:12:58,528 --> 00:12:59,528
She's in junior high,
325
00:12:59,596 --> 00:13:00,856
and that's my
territory. Right, Dad?
326
00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:01,679
Right!
327
00:13:01,731 --> 00:13:03,264
Well, if you're gonna start
328
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,573
cutting up the school
district into hunting areas,
329
00:13:05,602 --> 00:13:07,079
I suppose you got a point, yeah.
330
00:13:07,103 --> 00:13:09,871
Well, for Pete's sake, Steve,
whose side are you on?
331
00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,289
I'm not on any side.
332
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:12,556
I'm the arbitrator.
333
00:13:12,625 --> 00:13:13,791
We're discussing.
334
00:13:13,860 --> 00:13:15,671
You think it's okay
for... Shh, shh, shh.
335
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:18,196
(whispering): You think it's
okay for him to cut me out
336
00:13:18,264 --> 00:13:20,259
when I had a date with
her? I didn't say that.
337
00:13:20,283 --> 00:13:22,144
You think it's all
right for him to... Shh.
338
00:13:22,168 --> 00:13:24,479
You think it's all right for
him to say I'm cutting him out
339
00:13:24,503 --> 00:13:25,915
just because I accidentally
340
00:13:25,939 --> 00:13:27,316
meet a girl in a library?
341
00:13:27,340 --> 00:13:28,489
I didn't say that either!
342
00:13:28,558 --> 00:13:30,135
Well, for a guy that
isn't saying anything,
343
00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:31,603
you're doing an
awful lot of talking.
344
00:13:31,627 --> 00:13:33,010
Well, I'm getting sick
345
00:13:33,079 --> 00:13:34,345
of everybody kicking me around!
346
00:13:34,414 --> 00:13:36,347
I can't even get help
from my own father.
347
00:13:36,416 --> 00:13:38,227
Now, Robbie... Well,
I don't need any help.
348
00:13:38,251 --> 00:13:40,218
I can take care of myself!
349
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:42,198
BUB: Attaboy, Robbie,
stick to your guns!
350
00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:44,133
And I'll fix you,
wiseguy. You wait!
351
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,807
(sobbing)
352
00:13:45,875 --> 00:13:46,875
(door slams) Robbie.
353
00:13:46,910 --> 00:13:48,387
Talk about justice.
354
00:13:48,411 --> 00:13:50,439
You let Robbie get
away with murder.
355
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:51,979
How come I'm always wrong?
356
00:13:52,047 --> 00:13:53,725
Oh, now, look, Mike...
I'd like to see you
357
00:13:53,749 --> 00:13:57,851
on my side once, just once.
358
00:13:59,105 --> 00:14:02,923
Oh, now, Mike...
Old Chinese proverb:
359
00:14:02,992 --> 00:14:04,842
Man who walk in middle of road
360
00:14:04,911 --> 00:14:06,911
get hit by trucks
going both ways.
361
00:14:06,980 --> 00:14:09,113
(gong sounds)
362
00:14:22,195 --> 00:14:25,129
Mike...
363
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:28,132
I'm sorry about what I
said downstairs, Dad.
364
00:14:28,201 --> 00:14:30,179
You're not always wrong, Mike.
365
00:14:30,203 --> 00:14:32,181
You know, I don't think that.
366
00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:34,350
And as far as choosing
sides is concerned,
367
00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:37,308
the only side I'm on is
the side of our family.
368
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:40,645
That darn Robbie...
I know, Mike.
369
00:14:40,714 --> 00:14:41,646
Look, Robbie's going
370
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:43,275
through a rough
period, right now, he...
371
00:14:43,315 --> 00:14:45,635
Well, we just have to be
patient with him for a while.
372
00:14:47,721 --> 00:14:51,973
Well, I... I guess
I'm just tired.
373
00:14:52,042 --> 00:14:54,992
Yeah, I guess maybe we all are.
374
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,634
So, uh, why don't
we sleep on it?
375
00:15:04,971 --> 00:15:07,738
We'll, uh, talk it over
in the morning, hmm?
376
00:15:07,807 --> 00:15:09,740
Good night.
377
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:14,579
Good night, Mike.
378
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:26,824
Robbie.
379
00:15:36,169 --> 00:15:37,601
Robbie?
380
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:39,119
You asleep?
381
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,101
♪ ♪
382
00:16:26,286 --> 00:16:29,520
Well, a good night's sleep will
straighten the whole thing out.
383
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:31,539
I hope.
384
00:16:31,608 --> 00:16:33,557
I'll show him.
385
00:16:33,626 --> 00:16:35,559
I'll show him good.
386
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,931
Darn Mike.
387
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,584
Big fat double-crosser.
388
00:16:43,653 --> 00:16:47,605
Poor little mixed up Robbie.
389
00:16:47,674 --> 00:16:49,607
Patient.
390
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,518
(mimicking engine revving)
391
00:17:00,587 --> 00:17:02,130
Good morning,
Chipper. Morning, Dad.
392
00:17:02,154 --> 00:17:03,599
How'd you sleep? Fine.
393
00:17:03,623 --> 00:17:05,067
Good. Who won
the fight last night?
394
00:17:05,091 --> 00:17:07,069
Mike or Robbie? Oh,
uh, nobody won, Chip.
395
00:17:07,093 --> 00:17:09,238
They were just a
little excited that's all.
396
00:17:09,262 --> 00:17:11,407
As they say in the
diplomatic corps,
397
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:13,364
war was averted. Huh?
398
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,244
I said war was averted.
399
00:17:15,268 --> 00:17:16,800
Oh. Averted?
400
00:17:16,869 --> 00:17:18,180
Yeah, I got in between 'em.
401
00:17:18,204 --> 00:17:20,070
Maybe they'll start
another fight this morning.
402
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:21,616
No, I don't think so, Chipper.
403
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:23,769
As a matter of fact I imagine,
after a good night's sleep,
404
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:25,303
they've forgotten the whole
thing. Are you kidding?
405
00:17:25,327 --> 00:17:26,872
The two of 'em are
down there in the kitchen,
406
00:17:26,896 --> 00:17:28,306
there's a cold war
going on down there,
407
00:17:28,330 --> 00:17:30,308
that'd freeze the warts
off a polar bear! Oh, boy!
408
00:17:30,332 --> 00:17:32,332
I still say they should
put on the boxing gloves.
409
00:17:32,401 --> 00:17:33,500
What we need around here
410
00:17:33,569 --> 00:17:36,129
is less talk and more action.
411
00:17:38,975 --> 00:17:41,709
Oh, boy.
412
00:17:41,778 --> 00:17:44,712
Get up happy; should
have stayed in bed.
413
00:18:02,932 --> 00:18:05,366
Well, good morning, Robbie.
414
00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:08,052
Mike.
415
00:18:09,138 --> 00:18:11,150
Well, sit down, Chip.
416
00:18:11,174 --> 00:18:14,274
Better drink that
quick before it freezes.
417
00:18:16,846 --> 00:18:18,145
What is a cold war?
418
00:18:18,214 --> 00:18:19,247
BUB: This is.
419
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:21,248
And the worst kind.
420
00:18:21,317 --> 00:18:22,995
Oh, I wouldn't say that, Bub.
421
00:18:23,019 --> 00:18:25,285
At least we're sitting
at the same table.
422
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:27,366
Bub, will you ask Dad to
pass the cream, please?
423
00:18:27,390 --> 00:18:29,656
Pass the cream
to Robbie, please.
424
00:18:32,211 --> 00:18:33,939
One good thing
about a cold war is
425
00:18:33,963 --> 00:18:36,208
that you can bring the foreign
ministers of the two countries
426
00:18:36,232 --> 00:18:38,599
to a conference table like
this and discuss the issues.
427
00:18:38,667 --> 00:18:42,102
Chip, tell Robbie to quit
hogging the sweet rolls.
428
00:18:42,171 --> 00:18:44,731
Quit hogging the
sweet rolls, Robbie.
429
00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:49,137
Actually, this is very much
430
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,189
like an international situation.
431
00:18:51,213 --> 00:18:52,880
You fellas are two countries
432
00:18:52,949 --> 00:18:54,760
who are having a
border dispute over,
433
00:18:54,784 --> 00:18:57,218
well, some land that you
both feel belongs to you.
434
00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:59,319
Of course, uh, the disputed land
435
00:18:59,388 --> 00:19:01,789
in this case happens
to be a girl named Judy.
436
00:19:01,857 --> 00:19:03,836
You're fighting over a girl?
437
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,460
Jeepers, I thought it
was something important!
438
00:19:06,529 --> 00:19:09,496
Bub, will you tell Dad
to tell Chip to pipe down.
439
00:19:09,565 --> 00:19:10,998
Tell Chip to pipe down.
440
00:19:11,067 --> 00:19:13,200
Uh, pipe down, Chip. Now,
441
00:19:13,269 --> 00:19:14,885
in a case like this, a larger,
442
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:16,720
more powerful country, me,
443
00:19:16,789 --> 00:19:19,807
steps in to call a peace
conference, and here we are.
444
00:19:19,875 --> 00:19:22,810
Now, who wants to speak first?
445
00:19:22,879 --> 00:19:24,311
(clears throat)
446
00:19:24,380 --> 00:19:26,480
Bub, will you ask
Dad to pass the butter.
447
00:19:26,549 --> 00:19:28,482
Will you pass the butter?
448
00:19:28,551 --> 00:19:29,831
Please?
449
00:19:29,886 --> 00:19:31,151
Please.
450
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:32,820
Please.
451
00:19:32,889 --> 00:19:34,889
Please.
452
00:19:34,957 --> 00:19:37,941
All right, then I'll start.
453
00:19:38,010 --> 00:19:39,944
Now, each of you two
countries state your claim
454
00:19:40,013 --> 00:19:44,782
to the disputed territory,
namely Judyland.
455
00:19:44,851 --> 00:19:47,785
Now, Foreign Minister, Robbie.
456
00:19:51,991 --> 00:19:54,469
Tell him I got a raw deal
and the first chance I get,
457
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,288
I'm gonna clout Mike
right in the chops!
458
00:19:56,312 --> 00:19:59,263
(gun firing sound effects)
Attaboy, stick up for your rights.
459
00:19:59,332 --> 00:20:01,310
You keep asking
for it, small fry,
460
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:02,393
and you're gonna get it.
461
00:20:02,417 --> 00:20:04,017
BUB: That's telling him.
462
00:20:04,086 --> 00:20:06,404
Bub, this is a peace conference.
463
00:20:06,472 --> 00:20:08,389
There won't be any
peace around here
464
00:20:08,458 --> 00:20:09,956
till these two
guys fight it out.
465
00:20:10,025 --> 00:20:11,803
(explosion sound effect) Oh,
now, Bub, you're not making sense.
466
00:20:11,827 --> 00:20:15,696
Well, that's not a bad
for a predatory beast.
467
00:20:15,764 --> 00:20:17,475
Well, don't get yourself
all wrought up about it.
468
00:20:17,499 --> 00:20:18,882
Who's all wrought up?
469
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,368
I just want to see some action.
470
00:20:20,436 --> 00:20:21,452
Me, too!
471
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,454
Now, look, Bub,
472
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:25,000
a peace conference is no good
473
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:26,634
if everybody
doesn't pull together.
474
00:20:26,658 --> 00:20:28,008
One rotten apple in the barrel
475
00:20:28,077 --> 00:20:29,288
and the whole barrel's spoiled.
476
00:20:29,312 --> 00:20:32,345
(missile screams,
explosion) Rotten apple, huh?
477
00:20:48,164 --> 00:20:50,764
Uh, sweet roll, Robbie?
478
00:20:50,833 --> 00:20:51,833
Thanks.
479
00:20:51,868 --> 00:20:53,400
I've already got one.
480
00:20:53,468 --> 00:20:54,735
Oh.
481
00:20:54,803 --> 00:20:55,969
Mike?
482
00:20:56,038 --> 00:20:58,038
Oh, no, thanks.
483
00:20:58,107 --> 00:20:59,584
I guess they're all yours, Chip.
484
00:20:59,608 --> 00:21:00,635
Jeepers!
485
00:21:00,659 --> 00:21:02,275
I get all the sweet rolls,
486
00:21:02,344 --> 00:21:04,295
and I'm not even a country!
487
00:21:06,398 --> 00:21:08,031
Somebody pass the butter!
488
00:21:11,070 --> 00:21:13,103
Please.
489
00:21:14,206 --> 00:21:16,140
I'll take it to him, Mike.
490
00:21:22,014 --> 00:21:23,931
Summit Conference.
491
00:21:30,256 --> 00:21:32,155
No thanks.
492
00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:36,360
Bub, I'm sorry.
493
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:37,894
I, uh,
494
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,557
I wish you wouldn't
take things so personally.
495
00:21:39,581 --> 00:21:42,466
All I meant was that,
well, our family is strong
496
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:44,613
because we work
together as a unit.
497
00:21:44,637 --> 00:21:46,615
And if we start squabbling
among ourselves
498
00:21:46,639 --> 00:21:48,906
we can ruin that.
499
00:21:48,975 --> 00:21:50,686
We all know, as well as I do
500
00:21:50,710 --> 00:21:53,221
that a chain is only as
strong as its weakest link.
501
00:21:53,245 --> 00:21:55,796
Now I'm a weak link, huh?
502
00:21:55,864 --> 00:21:58,799
No, I-I didn't mean that, Bub.
503
00:21:58,867 --> 00:22:01,313
Oh for Pete's sake, will
you start acting your age!
504
00:22:01,337 --> 00:22:02,803
Yeah?
505
00:22:02,871 --> 00:22:05,472
I'm old enough to know that
a good, clean fight is better
506
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,207
than a lot of dirty names!
507
00:22:07,276 --> 00:22:09,705
(gunfire sound effects) Nobody's
calling anybody any names.
508
00:22:09,729 --> 00:22:12,646
BUB: Our kids are gonna grow
up to be a bunch of sissified,
509
00:22:12,714 --> 00:22:14,848
mealymouthed,
pink-tea pantywaists!
510
00:22:14,917 --> 00:22:16,132
Bub, will you listen to me.
511
00:22:16,201 --> 00:22:17,785
A lot of whimpering, sniveling,
512
00:22:17,854 --> 00:22:19,202
pampered pussyfooters.
513
00:22:19,271 --> 00:22:20,721
Will you please listen to me.
514
00:22:20,790 --> 00:22:22,239
Oh, I know, I know.
515
00:22:22,307 --> 00:22:26,126
I'm just a beastly, rotten,
weak link, predatory, old...
516
00:22:26,195 --> 00:22:27,511
Bub, shut up!
517
00:22:30,032 --> 00:22:31,632
Uh-oh.
518
00:22:31,701 --> 00:22:32,981
The H-bomb!
519
00:22:34,953 --> 00:22:36,553
Just listen to me
520
00:22:36,622 --> 00:22:38,556
for ten consecutive
seconds, will you?
521
00:22:38,624 --> 00:22:42,393
There's nothing wrong with
fighting in the ring for sport,
522
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:43,827
but these kids have to learn
523
00:22:43,896 --> 00:22:46,375
that they cannot settle their
petty personal misunderstandings
524
00:22:46,399 --> 00:22:47,548
with their fists.
525
00:22:49,918 --> 00:22:51,852
Now, it's late, I've got to go.
526
00:23:02,981 --> 00:23:04,915
Oh, yeah?
527
00:23:04,983 --> 00:23:06,917
Well, let me tell you something.
528
00:23:06,985 --> 00:23:08,752
This "peace
conference" idea of yours
529
00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:10,799
hasn't settled anything
either, and it's not gonna.
530
00:23:10,823 --> 00:23:12,467
Well, at least nobody's
hitting anybody.
531
00:23:12,491 --> 00:23:14,425
You can't keep these
kids from fighting.
532
00:23:14,493 --> 00:23:16,471
You can't change human
nature. Well, I can try.
533
00:23:16,495 --> 00:23:18,429
They're probably out in
the backyard right now
534
00:23:18,497 --> 00:23:20,897
tearing each other to
pieces. Yeah, you hope.
535
00:23:23,402 --> 00:23:26,854
MIKE: Dad... sorry to butt in
536
00:23:26,922 --> 00:23:28,316
on your Summit Conference but...
537
00:23:28,340 --> 00:23:29,689
What happened to the fight?
538
00:23:29,758 --> 00:23:33,027
Well, uh, the small
powers decided
539
00:23:33,095 --> 00:23:34,739
to submit their differences
540
00:23:34,763 --> 00:23:36,908
to a fact-finding committee.
541
00:23:36,932 --> 00:23:38,465
You mean you're making up?
542
00:23:38,534 --> 00:23:40,484
Well, gosh, who's got
time for our little war
543
00:23:40,552 --> 00:23:41,952
when you big guys
are getting ready
544
00:23:42,021 --> 00:23:43,119
to blow everything up?
545
00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:47,624
Blow everything up?
546
00:23:47,693 --> 00:23:49,626
What are you talking about?
547
00:23:49,695 --> 00:23:52,462
We're just standing
here having a little talk.
548
00:23:52,531 --> 00:23:55,800
You-you can't settle anything
without talking things over.
549
00:23:55,868 --> 00:23:58,468
Right, Steve?
550
00:23:58,537 --> 00:24:01,138
Right, Bub.
551
00:24:01,207 --> 00:24:03,969
This is the way all peace
conferences should work out.
552
00:24:03,993 --> 00:24:05,113
Yeah.
553
00:24:05,161 --> 00:24:06,276
Yeah.
554
00:24:06,345 --> 00:24:09,263
Well... How about
a cup of coffee?
555
00:24:09,331 --> 00:24:11,265
Oh, Bub, I, uh...
556
00:24:12,935 --> 00:24:14,901
Yeah.
557
00:24:14,970 --> 00:24:17,070
You see, Bub,
558
00:24:17,139 --> 00:24:19,000
that's what I meant
about a peace conference.
559
00:24:19,024 --> 00:24:21,875
What'd you do with my
rock collection, Mike?
560
00:24:21,944 --> 00:24:23,955
What was it doing on my bed?
561
00:24:23,979 --> 00:24:25,390
CHIP: Come on, Mike...
I guess you're right.
562
00:24:25,414 --> 00:24:27,025
Sometimes there just
has to be a little action.
563
00:24:27,049 --> 00:24:28,493
MIKE: How many times do I have
to tell you to stay out of my room?
564
00:24:28,517 --> 00:24:29,466
I'll put a stop to that.
565
00:24:29,535 --> 00:24:30,862
MIKE: Where is my puppet?
566
00:24:30,886 --> 00:24:32,619
How should I know?
567
00:24:36,175 --> 00:24:38,469
Now for a nice, quiet
cup of coffee, huh?
568
00:24:38,493 --> 00:24:39,593
(chuckles)
39845
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