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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:04,879 This programme contains discriminatory language and very strong language 2 00:00:04,880 --> 00:00:06,679 Mega's gonna kill you. No matter what happens, 3 00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:08,719 you gotta stay in this cell. I have to stay in this cell! 4 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,559 You gotta stay in this cell. I have to stay in...! 5 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:13,319 The only way to stay safe is stay in this cell. Are you gonna look after me? 6 00:00:13,320 --> 00:00:15,440 Yeah. Aww! You're leaving the cell. 7 00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:21,079 Oh... my God. 8 00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:22,559 Ahhh! 9 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:23,920 Pathetic. 10 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:33,520 And that's when I knew every choice has consequences... 11 00:00:36,400 --> 00:00:38,639 Oh, Mega, are you good, my brother? 12 00:00:38,640 --> 00:00:42,359 I will be, when I get my hands on Mobeen. 13 00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:44,279 But he never leaves his cell. 14 00:00:44,280 --> 00:00:46,479 You've gotta get him to leave his cell, Chippy. 15 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:48,119 I'm running outta favours, Mega. 16 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:51,000 You run outta favours when I SAY you run outta favours. 17 00:00:52,560 --> 00:00:53,919 HE SIGHS 18 00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:55,520 This fucking toenail... 19 00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,880 HE GRUNTS 20 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:03,040 Excuse me for a minute, Chippy. 21 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,840 TEARING 22 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,719 That's how you deal with irritating little bastards. 23 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:15,279 You get them out. 24 00:01:15,280 --> 00:01:16,599 You know what I mean? 25 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,160 Yeah. 26 00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,720 Get Mobeen out of his cell and bring him to me. 27 00:01:28,011 --> 00:01:33,199 You see this game you're playing, yeah? It's putting me 28 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,319 in mortal danger. You love the madness, Moonpig. 29 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:36,759 I do not. 30 00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,959 There's a one-in-six chance of you actually dying, 31 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:41,239 and they're pretty good odds. Listen to me, eh? 32 00:01:41,240 --> 00:01:43,359 I'm not some plump yet fat, sexy stallion 33 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,759 whose life you're betting on, OK? 34 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,319 If something happens to me, then you, 35 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:48,359 you've got the blood of a brown man on your hands. 36 00:01:48,360 --> 00:01:50,079 Yeah, it won't be the first time. 37 00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:52,959 Relax. You're with an officer. You'll be fine. 38 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,999 Every time I come out here, you facilitate me 39 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,679 getting spanked within an inch of my life every day. 40 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:01,199 "Yeah, Mobeen, you love it, tssh!" 41 00:02:01,200 --> 00:02:03,679 WHIMPERS You're giving me tingles. 42 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:04,999 Uh-uh. 43 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,999 Look, just make sure you have a nice little chat with Memory Stick, 44 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,439 so we can get to calm, all right? 45 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,439 What the fuck am I supposed to talk to him about - 46 00:02:11,440 --> 00:02:12,999 Avril Lavigne? You what? 47 00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,519 Yeah, that's what Shady says he's into, man. 48 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,999 Shady's a mad lad. 49 00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:19,239 Ey, he's a mad lad, but he's MY mad lad. 50 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:21,040 I love Asian uncles and aunties. 51 00:02:22,280 --> 00:02:23,399 All of 'em? 52 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:24,879 Even the Tory ones? 53 00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:28,479 Are they even Asian? Yes! Good. That's what I was thinking as well. 54 00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:30,799 I think they're like the bad guys at the end of Scooby-Doo. 55 00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:33,159 They just grab them brown masks and... 56 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,359 "Send them all to Rwanda." 57 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:37,159 And reveal the many faces of Satan. 58 00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:38,719 Harsh... 59 00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:40,479 ..on Satan... 60 00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:43,080 I really like you. Did I ever tell you that? 61 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,439 Memory Stick's last check-up's our last chance. 62 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:52,090 We get him to cooperate now, everything's pattered. 63 00:02:52,091 --> 00:02:56,959 Hello, Doc. I need a few minutes with Colin Bigginson. 64 00:02:56,960 --> 00:02:58,599 He's had his last check-up, 65 00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:01,279 and Officer Sajid personally escorted him back to his cell. 66 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:03,719 Bloody Sajid. I'll throttle the little pillock. 67 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,480 I can still do Mobeen, if you just give us some space. 68 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,199 Take a seat, Mobeen. Thank you. 69 00:03:12,200 --> 00:03:14,919 How is the eye getting on? Look up for me. 70 00:03:14,920 --> 00:03:16,799 OK. Watch out for his breath. 71 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:18,479 It once made a cat faint. 72 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:20,559 That's a unique bedside manner, 73 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:22,519 but I like it. 74 00:03:22,520 --> 00:03:25,399 Why are you here? I told you I don't want you here. 75 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:26,999 I won't be here long. Why? 76 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,399 Nida's got me a PROPER placement. 77 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,999 Tell him where it is. 78 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,679 Sharjah in the UAE. 79 00:03:32,680 --> 00:03:34,840 Are you joking? You got her... 80 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,320 Sharjah! 81 00:03:38,400 --> 00:03:39,959 Come on! 82 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,119 I can't believe it. When do you go? 83 00:03:42,120 --> 00:03:43,359 Tonight. Huh? 84 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:46,599 Someone got Covid and dropped out last minute, so I'm in. 85 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,759 Nah, please don't go. 86 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:51,239 HE SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY Hello, haramzada. 87 00:03:51,240 --> 00:03:52,839 Uncle! What are you doing here? 88 00:03:52,840 --> 00:03:55,920 Prison chaplain gives the last rite to a dying man. 89 00:03:56,960 --> 00:03:59,840 Oh. He can bet he's not getting any more sicker. 90 00:04:03,960 --> 00:04:05,839 Did you kill him? 91 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:07,359 What are you doing here - 92 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:09,079 breast reduction surgery? 93 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,439 Breast reduction...?! Excuse me. 94 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,519 I'm just getting checked out by Doctor... 95 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,999 ..checked UP by Doctor Nida medically. 96 00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,239 It's all professional, yeah. 97 00:04:18,240 --> 00:04:19,560 Kinky boy. 98 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:24,999 Aqsa, if you're going to UAE, I have one piece of advice. 99 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,079 Yeah? 100 00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,639 Go and visit Hajar Mountain caves. 101 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:30,919 Huh? They are very beautiful, 102 00:04:30,920 --> 00:04:33,039 very dark and bad. 103 00:04:33,040 --> 00:04:34,679 You must sleep in them. 104 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:35,919 Don't sleep in THEM. 105 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,880 Sleeping in caves never did me any harm, bastard. 106 00:04:43,360 --> 00:04:46,080 CHATTER 107 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,160 Mobeen... 108 00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:02,399 Moonbeam! 109 00:05:02,400 --> 00:05:03,879 Oi, he's asleep! 110 00:05:03,880 --> 00:05:05,800 Just like I was until you barged in. 111 00:05:09,840 --> 00:05:11,759 Bastard. Where is he? 112 00:05:11,760 --> 00:05:13,720 Mega's gonna batter him any second. 113 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:16,919 Yeah, man, come on. 114 00:05:16,920 --> 00:05:18,399 ARGGH! Agh! 115 00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,839 Hold it! What the fuck are you doing here? 116 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,759 HE TALKS INDISTINCTLY 117 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:23,999 Are you all right? 118 00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,080 Look, dahl. 119 00:05:26,080 --> 00:05:28,119 Oh, dahl! 120 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:30,319 You scared the shit outta me, man. 121 00:05:30,320 --> 00:05:32,839 I just wanted to say thank you for sorting Aqsa's placement. 122 00:05:32,840 --> 00:05:34,119 Please may I sit down? 123 00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:35,640 Yeah, yeah. 124 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:43,599 How did you make this? 125 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:45,799 Oh, it was the lads in the canteen. I got them to make it. 126 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,039 And how did you get in here? 127 00:05:47,040 --> 00:05:48,519 The door was open. 128 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:50,159 Mm, I'm pretty sure the door was locked. 129 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:51,999 I definitely didn't break in. 130 00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:54,320 Look, this is really nice, but... 131 00:05:57,840 --> 00:05:59,639 Is this Pot Noodle in here? 132 00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:00,800 Yeah, a bit. 133 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,159 Listen, I don't know how to break this down to you, 134 00:06:05,160 --> 00:06:09,439 but it would be unprofessional for me to eat this pot... 135 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,600 ..dahl. 136 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:13,280 I'm sorry. I'll just go. 137 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,720 Nah, nah, thank you. 138 00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,559 Ooh. 139 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:35,999 How does it tastes? 140 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,200 That tastes like... TALKS WITH MOUTH FULL 141 00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,400 Whew. 142 00:06:42,560 --> 00:06:45,279 Obviously, this hasn't quite worked out, has it? 143 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:48,079 But... in the real world, 144 00:06:48,080 --> 00:06:49,719 out there, 145 00:06:49,720 --> 00:06:52,879 I would take you to get the best dahl on planet Earth, yeah? 146 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,479 There's this place called Raja's Nicy Spicy. 147 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,319 I've heard. What?! 148 00:06:57,320 --> 00:06:58,519 I actually wanna go there. 149 00:06:58,520 --> 00:07:01,639 Yeah, well, I've just technically offered to take you there. 150 00:07:01,640 --> 00:07:04,519 I'm out soon, so, I mean, maybe? 151 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:05,839 When I'm out? 152 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:06,959 As friends? 153 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,519 Do you know what? Mm? 154 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:09,959 As a friend, 155 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:11,679 I'd be down with that. 156 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,919 OK. 157 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,160 Cool. 158 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:17,479 Well, well, well. 159 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:20,439 Turns out someone CAN leave their cell. 160 00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:21,839 Swear down. 161 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,640 Man like Mobeen. 162 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,240 Curry - you want some of this? 163 00:07:38,151 --> 00:07:42,999 We need to get that info out of Memory Stick's head 164 00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:44,759 and into my hands. SHE CLEARS THROAT 165 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:46,759 Listen, if I see one more scatter cushion in here, 166 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,239 there'll be trouble. Boss. 167 00:07:48,240 --> 00:07:49,919 Mobeen... 168 00:07:49,920 --> 00:07:51,439 ..Nathaniel... 169 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:52,879 ..I need you your help. 170 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,319 Nay, nay, nay, Governor. 171 00:07:54,320 --> 00:07:56,599 You are not looking at our lulis in the shower again. 172 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:57,880 It's not that. 173 00:07:58,960 --> 00:08:00,759 It's Jamal. 174 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:02,479 He's in a bad way. 175 00:08:02,480 --> 00:08:05,039 Jamal's a good brother. What's happened? 176 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:08,119 He's refusing to leave his cell, and he's threatening to hurt himself. 177 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:11,159 His wife says she's gonna stop him seeing the kids. 178 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:14,919 So, what we need is a really brilliant trained listener 179 00:08:14,920 --> 00:08:16,519 to go into his cell. 180 00:08:16,520 --> 00:08:19,440 Somebody at the top of their game. The best we've got. 181 00:08:22,760 --> 00:08:24,400 And I'm looking at you, Mobeen. 182 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,760 Will you get on with it? Cos he needs you. 183 00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,840 DOOR BANGS 184 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,439 What's up? 185 00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,519 The thing is, if you spend time sorting out Jamal, 186 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,159 you can't get to Memory Stick, can ya? 187 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:43,519 We are so close to getting Khan, 188 00:08:43,520 --> 00:08:45,559 and if you run into Mega, he's gonna fuck you up. 189 00:08:45,560 --> 00:08:47,959 Forget about Mega for a minute. Jamal needs help. 190 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:49,199 He needs OUR help. 191 00:08:49,200 --> 00:08:52,359 You're willing to put your neck on the line for any old inmate, 192 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:55,000 when you know Mega's out there waiting for ya? 193 00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,480 It's not any old inmate. 194 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:02,720 He's a good brother, and he needs my help. 195 00:09:10,680 --> 00:09:12,240 Don't look at me like that. 196 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,199 Mobeen, good luck, yeah? 197 00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,519 All the best, yeah? Good luck, bro. 198 00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:20,079 You've got this, Mobeen. 199 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:21,640 Jamal needs you. 200 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,199 Yo. 201 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,599 No, no, no! 202 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,599 Mega, stop, bro. 203 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,039 I beg your pardon, Chips? 204 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:50,000 It's not about you and him. 205 00:09:51,520 --> 00:09:52,879 It's about Jamal. 206 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,439 Very honourable. 207 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:55,839 But I don't give a shit. 208 00:09:55,840 --> 00:09:57,880 Well, I give a shit. 209 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:02,719 Oh, listen, little man. 210 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:04,039 No, you listen to me, 211 00:10:04,040 --> 00:10:05,679 you big, useless dosser. 212 00:10:05,680 --> 00:10:07,399 Ooh. 213 00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:10,319 You will get back to your cell immediately. 214 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:12,079 Sorry, you must be out of your f... 215 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:13,839 Shut your mouth. 216 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,319 I run this wing. 217 00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:18,239 You know what they say, don't ya, huh? 218 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,400 The bigger the lad, the smaller the brain. 219 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:24,439 MOBEEN TALKS OFF-SCREEN 220 00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:27,439 He's gonna fist your bunda into another universe. 221 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:29,279 Go back to cell now. 222 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:30,560 Yeah, you go... 223 00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:35,919 Fee-fi-fo-fum, 224 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:37,359 look at me, 225 00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,000 I'm a big, hairy lun. 226 00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:43,799 You're gonna be sorry for this little show you just put on. 227 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:45,919 Yeah? Back to your cell. 228 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,800 You're boring, mate. 229 00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,120 Thank you, Sajid, thank you. 230 00:10:56,600 --> 00:10:57,959 Look at me. 231 00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,839 Thank you. Thank you. 232 00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,839 LOUD WHISTLE 233 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,719 Hey, Mobeen, come on. He's gone. He's gone. 234 00:11:03,720 --> 00:11:05,520 CHATTER 235 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:10,719 Oh, my God, will you leave me alone?! 236 00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:12,919 I don't wanna talk to you, OK? 237 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:15,399 You are an insufferable, incorrigible piece of shit. 238 00:11:15,400 --> 00:11:16,960 You're obsessed with me. Colin! 239 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:19,480 Not now. 240 00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:25,319 Oh, yes, JJ. 241 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:26,880 Give us a minute, my bro, yeah? 242 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:29,719 Yo, salaam, Jamal. 243 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,959 Go away, Mobes. I don't want a lecture from you. Come on, man. 244 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,160 At least give your boy salaam. Come on. 245 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,639 My bad. Salaam. 246 00:11:39,640 --> 00:11:41,320 Salaam. There you are. 247 00:11:46,040 --> 00:11:49,280 Jamal, I got something serious to tell you. 248 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:54,399 Harry Maguire is shit. 249 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,759 Did you see man at the weekend?! 250 00:11:56,760 --> 00:11:58,639 He's a dead baller, bro. 251 00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:02,160 When his mum gave birth to him, she gave birth to one human own goal. 252 00:12:02,161 --> 00:12:05,239 How do you think that makes man feel 253 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,400 when he sees that stuff on social media? 254 00:12:09,440 --> 00:12:12,120 You're behaving like one insensitive dickhead. 255 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,440 How you really feeling, bro? 256 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:28,799 My missus says I can't see my kids anymore. 257 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,440 How would YOU feel? 258 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:32,999 I ain't ever met your kids. 259 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,199 Are you dumb? 260 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,250 How would you feel if it was your sister? 261 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,759 That could never happen. Come on, bro. 262 00:12:43,760 --> 00:12:45,200 Well, it's happened to me. 263 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:48,200 Without my kids... 264 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,840 ..I don't wanna be here anymore. 265 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,759 J, look, you know where we're from. 266 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:06,240 OK, with these things, we just have to man up. 267 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:09,640 This is why man don't say anything. 268 00:13:09,641 --> 00:13:13,279 I'm over here talking about wanting to kill myself, 269 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:14,880 and you're telling me to man up. 270 00:13:16,760 --> 00:13:18,760 It didn't work. 271 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,800 Now what? 272 00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:25,240 Huh? 273 00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,359 Where is Mobeen? 274 00:13:36,360 --> 00:13:38,599 Oh, he's helping Jamal at the moment, Uncle. 275 00:13:38,600 --> 00:13:40,759 This is MY job to help people. 276 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:42,719 I get paid overtime for this. 277 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:45,479 Just leave him to it, yeah? He's a good lad. 278 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:46,719 He knows what he's doing. 279 00:13:46,720 --> 00:13:48,999 No, I will remove him and send him back. 280 00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,679 I want my overtime money. 281 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:53,599 No, you stay in the cell. 282 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:56,319 Nate, can you keep an eye on him, please? 283 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:57,960 Back in a bit. 284 00:14:01,120 --> 00:14:02,560 Ginseng? 285 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,120 Jamal... 286 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:08,959 I can imagine how you feel. 287 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:10,679 Can you? 288 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,320 Can you imagine wanting to do yourself in? 289 00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,559 No. 290 00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:21,960 No, I can't. 291 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,599 I can. 292 00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,070 There are lots of people who wanna kill Moonbeam. 293 00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,400 One of them's even in this nick. 294 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,960 But doing himself in - never. 295 00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,479 Can you two say Mashallah? 296 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:46,999 Because you're putting a lot on me at the moment. 297 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,519 Mashallah. Mashallah. 298 00:14:48,520 --> 00:14:49,800 Thank you. 299 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,970 You know, the first time I thought about it... 300 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,680 ..I made a right fucking mess of it. 301 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,560 You can close your mouth, Moonbeam. 302 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,640 It's a long journey, brother. 303 00:15:12,880 --> 00:15:15,400 There are a lot more people on it than you think. 304 00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:19,760 You're not alone. 305 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:25,880 You should be the listener. 306 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,559 Nah, mate. 307 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:32,919 I'm just as bad as dickhead over here. 308 00:15:32,920 --> 00:15:34,800 I just know how to talk about it. 309 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:38,640 And a lotta people don't. 310 00:15:41,160 --> 00:15:43,840 But you know where I am if you need me. 311 00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:47,120 Safe, bro. 312 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:56,119 Now feel like a good time to hug? 313 00:15:56,120 --> 00:15:57,880 Piss off. Do one. 314 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,280 Safe, gents. 315 00:16:12,480 --> 00:16:13,999 Bravo. 316 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,399 Oh, leave off, will ya? 317 00:16:15,400 --> 00:16:16,919 No. 318 00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,559 I heard everything. 319 00:16:18,560 --> 00:16:20,720 You're not a complete cretin, are you? 320 00:16:22,080 --> 00:16:24,000 I know what you're after. 321 00:16:24,001 --> 00:16:27,479 I'll give you the information you want about Khan. 322 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:29,719 What?! What? 323 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,839 The financial records, the business details, 324 00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:34,479 the list of bent coppers. 325 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,639 Why? Not why - yes! 326 00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:38,879 Thank you. What are you asking why for? 327 00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:40,879 Look, I can't keep living like this. 328 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,319 I'm gonna end up like Jamal. 329 00:16:42,320 --> 00:16:43,759 You're a good dude. 330 00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:45,039 Really? 331 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,719 He's not an incel. What? 332 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,679 He thought maybe you were an incel, and I said you weren't. 333 00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,879 Incel?! That's a weird thing for you to say. 334 00:16:51,880 --> 00:16:54,399 But seriously, this means you can finally get 335 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:56,720 justice for your friend, Eight. 336 00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,639 How do you know Eight? 337 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:01,600 I went to uni with his older brother. 338 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,959 Me and Nine were pretty close. 339 00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:07,439 You must've gone to Cambridge with him. I did, yeah. 340 00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,320 We met punting down the Cam. 341 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:13,519 I don't know what he means. What does he mean? I don't know. 342 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:14,920 OK, listen... 343 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,960 Just bring it in for a second, lads, yeah? So... 344 00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:26,160 ..how do we get the information out of this incredible brain of yours... 345 00:17:26,161 --> 00:17:30,399 ..and into your hands? Like, have you got a recording device? 346 00:17:30,400 --> 00:17:33,119 I've got some gear. So, I've got, like, full body suit, balaclava. 347 00:17:33,120 --> 00:17:34,359 I can meet you in the showers. 348 00:17:34,360 --> 00:17:37,039 No, I was just thinking I'd drop off the memory stick at your cell later. 349 00:17:37,040 --> 00:17:39,319 How do you mean, drop the mem...? You're gonna drop yourself 350 00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,639 to the cell, and then when you get to the cell... You're gonna drop yourself to the cell. 351 00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,799 I haven't memorised all that. You think I've memorised all that infor...? 352 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:47,359 No, it's all on a memory stick. 353 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,959 Not in your head? It's not in my head. It's not in his head! 354 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,639 Of course. Oh, yeah. That's like something from a shit film. 355 00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,079 Shit film! 356 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:56,479 The shittest film! What kinda idiot woulda thought it? 357 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,399 I don't know what kind of idiot would've thought that! I don't know. 358 00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,079 He thought it. Did you think that? No, he did. Stupid. Stupid! 359 00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,839 Just, he's called Memory Stick. 360 00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:05,599 Don't do that again. 361 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:07,120 But, no, listen. Hey... 362 00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,279 You don't know what this means to ALL of us. Look at me. 363 00:18:11,280 --> 00:18:13,719 What you're doing is fucking legendary, mate. 364 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,280 Really? Oh! 365 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,440 Aw, special, special. 366 00:18:18,441 --> 00:18:21,399 OK, you know where the cell is. I do, yeah. 367 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:23,559 And if we could just bring it in as well. Oh, oh, that's, 368 00:18:23,560 --> 00:18:26,119 you've done that. I thought it was just you, me, and him, we could 369 00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,359 just kinda hug it out now. OK. Bless you. 370 00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:31,199 Thanks, Colin. Assalaamu Alaikum, my brother. Nice to meet you. 371 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,239 See you. Peace be upon you. Yeah. Hey, Mobeen? 372 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:34,440 Mm-hm? 373 00:18:37,680 --> 00:18:39,119 COLIN CHUCKLES 374 00:18:39,120 --> 00:18:40,359 Woo! 375 00:18:40,360 --> 00:18:41,799 Oh, in the...! 376 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:43,719 Tss! Deet! Yep. 377 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,159 That was silly. 378 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,679 I actually really like magic. I was just in a bad mood. 379 00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:49,399 Oh, yeah, really? Yeah, yeah. 380 00:18:49,400 --> 00:18:51,719 In fact, I know you don't have much time, 381 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:54,679 but I do have a bit of a magic trick to show you. 382 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,719 I'll be so quick. I probably haven't got time. The police officer said 383 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,639 I haven't got time. Please, Mobeen. I'm a prison officer. Please. 384 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,359 Just pick a card, any card. 385 00:19:02,360 --> 00:19:04,199 Don't show me. Pick a card. 386 00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:06,239 And that's... King of clubs. Don't show it to me! 387 00:19:06,240 --> 00:19:08,479 We have to do it again. Wey! Abracadabra. 388 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:11,480 Let's go. Help me pick it up at least. Cheers, mate. 389 00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,439 Well done, mate. We're gonna get Khan. 390 00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:16,839 You've done it. You did it. You did it. WE did it. 391 00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,879 Listen to me, brother. I never said it before, but I love you, bro. 392 00:19:19,880 --> 00:19:23,079 I love ya, and I feel like kissing ya. Can I kiss ya? 393 00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:24,559 No. Let me kiss ya, please. 394 00:19:24,560 --> 00:19:26,919 Go on, then, just one. 395 00:19:26,920 --> 00:19:28,439 Come on, Moonbeam. 396 00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:29,760 Next time, just you and him. 397 00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,960 Nate! 398 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:37,720 I tried to stop him, but he just wouldn't listen. 399 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:40,799 I'm the Alpha in here. 400 00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:42,679 This is how I resolve disputes. 401 00:19:42,680 --> 00:19:44,479 Such a strong stream. 402 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:46,879 Next time, I piss in your beard. 403 00:19:46,880 --> 00:19:48,880 ZIP! Ugh! 404 00:19:50,240 --> 00:19:53,199 Hey, he's nearly killed him. 405 00:19:53,200 --> 00:19:54,999 What? Mega. 406 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,719 He beat the shit out of Chippy. 407 00:19:57,720 --> 00:19:59,559 He's unresponsive. 408 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,560 Oh, God. It's my fault. 409 00:20:02,760 --> 00:20:05,359 Mobeen, I know what you're thinking. 410 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,559 It's all my fault. Don't get involved. 411 00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:10,879 You're letting the madness drag you back in. 412 00:20:10,880 --> 00:20:13,039 Don't do it, man. 413 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:17,039 Nate, I should've fixed this motherfucker long time... 414 00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:18,440 Mobeen. Mobeen! 415 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,799 You want an apple? Sorry? 416 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:44,240 I've got satsumas as well. 417 00:20:44,241 --> 00:20:47,239 I've had my five-a-day, thank you. 418 00:20:47,240 --> 00:20:50,359 Well, you were right - diabetes will be the death of me. 419 00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:52,560 Natural sugars all the way now. 420 00:20:53,840 --> 00:20:55,320 Come in. 421 00:20:57,120 --> 00:20:58,799 In-in your cell? 422 00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:00,520 Yeah, come into the shark tank. 423 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:09,480 Ah, Mobeen, Mobeen, Mobeen. 424 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,799 Meg, listen to me. 425 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,210 No, YOU listen! Allah! YELLS: You listen to me! 426 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,079 I'm sorry, man. 427 00:21:24,080 --> 00:21:26,239 I was speaking and then you interrupted me. 428 00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:27,479 It's rude to interrupt. 429 00:21:27,480 --> 00:21:29,959 It is rude. I apologise for being rude. 430 00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:33,039 Look, I know you hate me. I know everyone hates me. 431 00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,319 They do. 432 00:21:34,320 --> 00:21:35,680 Ahh, fuck... 433 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,840 I think I actually hate myself. 434 00:21:38,841 --> 00:21:41,839 Probably shouldn't hate yourself. 435 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,479 It's bad for your... 436 00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:45,239 ..chakras and... Stop. 437 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,639 You know, right before I was gonna kill you... 438 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,879 You were gonna kill me? 439 00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:50,239 ..I had this thought. 440 00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,320 You and me, yeah, we're actually really alike. 441 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,279 Single mum, dad in and out of trouble, 442 00:21:57,280 --> 00:21:59,679 then he fucks off, leaves us to fend for ourselves. 443 00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,359 My mum told him to fuck off. 444 00:22:01,360 --> 00:22:03,799 She left him, so... Well, she WOULD say that. 445 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,279 Mine did. '90s immigrant mums never left their men. 446 00:22:07,280 --> 00:22:09,520 No, HE walked out on US. 447 00:22:10,520 --> 00:22:11,800 You and I. 448 00:22:13,160 --> 00:22:15,840 You know what the difference is between you and me? 449 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:19,680 I'm a prick who knows he's a prick. 450 00:22:21,040 --> 00:22:23,960 You're a prick who doesn't know he's a prick. 451 00:22:27,160 --> 00:22:28,279 I know YOU'RE a prick. 452 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:30,559 You're the prick. No, you're a prick as well. 453 00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:32,919 You just said it, didn't you? I'm a prick. That's facts. 454 00:22:32,920 --> 00:22:34,759 You are a prick. 455 00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,119 And also, you're a prick. I don't think so. 456 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:39,599 Yes! Yes, you see? That, there! 457 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:42,200 Yeah! That's what I'm talking about! 458 00:22:43,440 --> 00:22:45,079 See, you love it, you love it - 459 00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,919 the chaos, the drama, the need to be a saviour. 460 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:51,119 You even put your own people in harm's way just to be a hero. 461 00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:52,519 I respect that. 462 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,239 I understand that. 463 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:56,639 You chat shit, man. 464 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,479 Chat shit? Really? You chat shit. 465 00:22:58,480 --> 00:23:01,319 All you had to do was say no to that undercover fed. 466 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:04,119 And instead, what did you say? 467 00:23:04,120 --> 00:23:05,759 "Yes, sahib." 468 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,039 You were nearly done. You were outta here. 469 00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,919 New start, new life. 470 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:12,600 But you love it too much. 471 00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,839 Let's be honest, without 472 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:19,519 this Paki Robin Hood persona, 473 00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:21,080 who are you, brother? 474 00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,720 Just another guy stacking shelves in B&Q. 475 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,319 Yeah. 476 00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:33,600 You would rather be dead than be that guy. 477 00:23:36,760 --> 00:23:37,999 We are never 478 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:40,200 going to beat the system. 479 00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:43,960 So, what do you say we light a fire... 480 00:23:45,760 --> 00:23:47,759 ..me and you, 481 00:23:47,760 --> 00:23:50,320 and burn this bastard to the ground? 482 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:55,560 Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh-h-h! 483 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,719 There will be no fires on MY watch, 484 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,399 Goliath. 485 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:02,759 Ah, shit. 486 00:24:02,760 --> 00:24:05,439 So, according to THAT parable, 487 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:07,600 that would make you... 488 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:10,880 ..what - little David? 489 00:24:12,480 --> 00:24:14,879 Sajid, not... not... David. 490 00:24:14,880 --> 00:24:17,080 What's he talking about, David? Ah, shit. 491 00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:20,839 Very, very, biblical. 492 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:22,520 You big f... 493 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:25,760 Ah, Sajid! 494 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,159 You ready, bro? 495 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:35,119 Nah, I can't go, man. 496 00:24:35,120 --> 00:24:37,479 Do this crazy shit you're about to do. 497 00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,079 You made a pie? 498 00:24:39,080 --> 00:24:41,279 Nah, but I can get you fruit. 499 00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:43,720 HE LISTS FRUITS 500 00:24:54,120 --> 00:24:57,399 Lads! 501 00:24:57,400 --> 00:24:59,360 We've waited a long time for this. 502 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,159 Who fancies a fucking riot?! 503 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:06,080 CHEERING 504 00:25:09,400 --> 00:25:11,040 Yeah! 505 00:25:11,090 --> 00:25:15,640 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35881

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