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1
00:00:03,133 --> 00:00:05,483
[♪♪♪]
2
00:00:08,834 --> 00:00:10,488
Mama, can we get these?
3
00:00:10,662 --> 00:00:12,751
No, we've already got
peanut butter and jelly.
4
00:00:12,925 --> 00:00:15,145
Ma, I hate that stuff.
It tastes like concrete.
5
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:17,191
Ring it up, please.
6
00:00:17,365 --> 00:00:19,106
CHRIS ROCK:
When I was a kid,
my dad would try
7
00:00:19,280 --> 00:00:21,108
to save money
any way he could,
8
00:00:21,282 --> 00:00:23,501
so when my mother went
shopping, he had one rule:
9
00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:24,981
No name brands.
10
00:00:27,592 --> 00:00:30,465
So instead of Fruit Loops,
Cheerios or Frosted Flakes,
11
00:00:30,639 --> 00:00:31,727
we got...
12
00:00:33,424 --> 00:00:35,557
"Cereal"?
What is this stuff?
13
00:00:35,731 --> 00:00:38,168
Is it oats? Is it flakes?
14
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:39,909
Is there a prize inside?
15
00:00:40,083 --> 00:00:42,564
The prize is
you don't starve to death.
16
00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:44,174
Ring it up.
17
00:00:44,348 --> 00:00:46,133
And instead of Oreos,
Ginger Snaps
18
00:00:46,307 --> 00:00:49,571
or Chips Ahoy, we got...
19
00:00:49,745 --> 00:00:50,659
"Cookie"?
20
00:00:50,833 --> 00:00:52,008
That's right, Cookie.
21
00:00:52,182 --> 00:00:54,271
Not Cookies, Cookie.
22
00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:58,014
A big bag
with one cookie in it.
23
00:00:58,188 --> 00:01:00,277
Ooh, Mama,
can I have some cookie?
24
00:01:00,451 --> 00:01:02,062
Yeah, but only two bites.
25
00:01:02,236 --> 00:01:05,674
Don't suck out all the chips
like you did last time.
26
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,502
When it came to soap,
27
00:01:07,676 --> 00:01:10,896
instead of Zest, Dial or Coast, we got...
28
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,204
Camay?Do you have a problem with that?
29
00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:15,945
Ring it up.
30
00:01:16,119 --> 00:01:18,078
My mother could save money
a lot of places,
31
00:01:18,252 --> 00:01:19,818
but not on her ass.
32
00:01:19,992 --> 00:01:22,256
[♪♪♪]
33
00:01:28,218 --> 00:01:30,655
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
34
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:55,027
Partner science projects
are due Friday,
35
00:01:55,202 --> 00:01:56,899
so decide who you want
to work with,
36
00:01:57,073 --> 00:01:58,944
sign the sheet
as it comes around.
37
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:02,644
Back off! One at a time.
38
00:02:02,818 --> 00:02:04,820
Quietly.
39
00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:07,388
Hey, Greg. You want to do
a project together?
40
00:02:07,562 --> 00:02:10,478
I don't know. I had a couple
ideas I was already working on.
41
00:02:10,652 --> 00:02:12,306
CHRIS ROCK:
I wanted to work with Greg
42
00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:14,656
because my last science project didn't go so well.
43
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:16,048
[BOTH GRUNTING]
44
00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,485
Chris!
45
00:02:17,659 --> 00:02:19,226
[SCREAMING]
46
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:22,316
Would you get these
damn ants out of here!
47
00:02:22,490 --> 00:02:24,883
James Brown stole that whole
"ants in my pants" idea
48
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:26,537
from my father.
49
00:02:26,711 --> 00:02:27,886
[GRUNTING]
50
00:02:29,584 --> 00:02:32,195
Come on, man. Who else
will partner with me?
51
00:02:32,369 --> 00:02:34,545
It's not that I don't
want to be your partner.
52
00:02:34,719 --> 00:02:36,808
It's just... I take my science
very seriously.
53
00:02:36,982 --> 00:02:39,985
Yeah, but, you know,
we could still have fun.
54
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,467
We're talking about science,
Chris, so you gotta decide.
55
00:02:43,641 --> 00:02:45,643
Do you want to have fun,
or you want to win?
56
00:02:45,817 --> 00:02:47,428
Hell, I just wanted to pass.
57
00:02:54,870 --> 00:02:56,959
JULIUS:
Rochelle!
Rochelle!
58
00:02:57,133 --> 00:03:00,223
I'm in here, baby!
59
00:03:00,397 --> 00:03:03,270
You are never gonna believe
what happened.
60
00:03:03,444 --> 00:03:04,532
What?
61
00:03:04,706 --> 00:03:07,230
Hah!
62
00:03:07,404 --> 00:03:12,322
Bah-yah! Ha-ha! That's
$200 worth of food stamps.
63
00:03:12,496 --> 00:03:14,106
Where did you get
food stamps from?
64
00:03:14,281 --> 00:03:15,543
I found them.
65
00:03:15,717 --> 00:03:17,022
From the time he was a kid
66
00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:18,415
to the time he was an adult,
67
00:03:18,589 --> 00:03:20,548
my father loved to find money.
68
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:24,769
Mom! Mom! Mom!
I found a quarter.
69
00:03:24,943 --> 00:03:26,293
I love you, quarter.
70
00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,904
I'm gonna keep you
and name you Bernard.
71
00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:30,601
[WOMAN GRUNTS]
72
00:03:30,775 --> 00:03:32,255
It's a boy!
73
00:03:32,429 --> 00:03:33,735
I found a dollar!
74
00:03:33,909 --> 00:03:35,258
That's not even my mother.
75
00:03:35,432 --> 00:03:38,043
[BABY CRYING]
76
00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,306
[CHUCKLES]
77
00:03:39,480 --> 00:03:41,656
Look at this. Wha...?
78
00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:43,223
What's wrong?
79
00:03:43,397 --> 00:03:46,138
Julius, you know I hate
using food stamps.
80
00:03:46,313 --> 00:03:47,749
My mother hated
using food stamps
81
00:03:47,923 --> 00:03:49,707
because she was a ghetto snob.
82
00:03:49,881 --> 00:03:53,233
And sometimes using food stamps could be a little embarrassing.
83
00:03:55,278 --> 00:03:56,584
That'll be 79 cent.
84
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:01,937
Ten, 20, 30, 40, 50...
85
00:04:02,111 --> 00:04:05,070
My mother would have felt better just robbing the place.
86
00:04:05,245 --> 00:04:09,292
Does anybody have change
for a 50-cent bill?
87
00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:11,120
Rochelle, money is money.
88
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,470
Cash, food stamps--
What's the difference?
89
00:04:13,644 --> 00:04:15,864
Because I don't want to
have to curse nobody out.
90
00:04:16,038 --> 00:04:17,735
What?!Julius...
91
00:04:17,909 --> 00:04:19,389
when I pull out food stamps,
92
00:04:19,563 --> 00:04:22,174
people look at me
like I ain't got no husband.
93
00:04:22,349 --> 00:04:24,612
They talk to me
like I ain't got no sense.
94
00:04:24,786 --> 00:04:26,788
They treat me
like I ain't got no class.
95
00:04:26,962 --> 00:04:30,357
And if somebody treats me like
that, I'm gonna curse them out!
96
00:04:30,531 --> 00:04:32,881
Two hundred dollars
is $200.
97
00:04:33,055 --> 00:04:34,970
Either you're gonna shop
with it, or I am.
98
00:04:35,144 --> 00:04:37,364
And you don't want me
to go shopping.
99
00:04:37,538 --> 00:04:39,409
My father figured out
that the only food
100
00:04:39,583 --> 00:04:42,847
cheaper than generic food
was damaged food.
101
00:04:46,808 --> 00:04:49,027
Fine.
102
00:04:49,201 --> 00:04:51,726
Since we got the extra cash,
can you give me $20,
103
00:04:51,900 --> 00:04:55,033
so I could get my hair done?Can you do it yourself?
104
00:04:55,207 --> 00:04:58,515
Sure, baby, you go ahead.
You look good.
105
00:04:58,689 --> 00:05:03,433
It's all good. $200, man!
106
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:06,001
Oh! Thank you, Lord.
107
00:05:06,175 --> 00:05:08,960
At school, I felt like I was trying to do a science project
108
00:05:09,134 --> 00:05:11,354
and Greg was trying to win
the Nobel Prize.
109
00:05:11,528 --> 00:05:14,270
I was thinking about doing
something on the periodic table.
110
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,273
We can chart each element and
show how it affected society.
111
00:05:17,447 --> 00:05:19,101
I was thinking
we could make a volcano
112
00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:22,060
with vinegar and baking soda.No, I did that in third grade.
113
00:05:22,234 --> 00:05:25,368
My third-grade science project was watching a banana rot.
114
00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,328
Hey, why don't we do a whole
thing on plate tectonics?
115
00:05:28,502 --> 00:05:29,981
I thought "Plate Tectonics" was
116
00:05:30,155 --> 00:05:31,853
the original name
of the Wu Tang Clan.
117
00:05:32,027 --> 00:05:33,898
We can diagram
the continental shift
118
00:05:34,072 --> 00:05:35,552
and show
how mountain ranges form
119
00:05:35,726 --> 00:05:38,033
and show how the shape
of the Earth has changed.
120
00:05:38,207 --> 00:05:40,165
So I guess making
a robot out of soup cans
121
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:42,124
ain't gonna get it.No.
122
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:47,303
As much as it hurt my mother
to shop with food stamps,
123
00:05:47,477 --> 00:05:50,480
there were two words that made it all worthwhile...
124
00:05:50,654 --> 00:05:52,917
Name brands.
125
00:05:53,091 --> 00:05:55,006
[♪♪♪]
126
00:06:28,170 --> 00:06:30,564
That's my mom, ghetto snob.
127
00:06:30,738 --> 00:06:32,827
[♪♪♪]
128
00:06:40,748 --> 00:06:43,141
[CROWD CHEERING]
129
00:07:01,769 --> 00:07:03,945
That'll be $95.33.
130
00:07:04,119 --> 00:07:05,555
This store is highway robbery.
131
00:07:05,729 --> 00:07:07,905
Rochelle! Girl!
132
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,254
ROCHELLE & SHEILA:
Hey!
133
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,908
I didn't know
you shopped here.
134
00:07:11,082 --> 00:07:13,084
I-- I come here all the time.
135
00:07:13,258 --> 00:07:15,826
Uh, Mama, you dropped your-- Ow!
136
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,611
So, um...
137
00:07:17,785 --> 00:07:20,440
what are you doing here?Two for one. Ha-ha!
138
00:07:20,614 --> 00:07:22,311
Okay.You know I like to save money.
139
00:07:22,485 --> 00:07:24,444
Yeah, you know, you gotta...
140
00:07:24,618 --> 00:07:26,184
know what to do with your money.Uh-huh.
141
00:07:26,358 --> 00:07:27,447
Yeah.
Yeah.
142
00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:31,015
$95.33.Hm?
143
00:07:31,189 --> 00:07:33,148
$95.33.
144
00:07:33,322 --> 00:07:36,586
Oh, okay...
Girl, I wasn't listening.
145
00:07:36,760 --> 00:07:38,849
You'd think she'd pay
with food stamps.
146
00:07:39,023 --> 00:07:41,852
That cash was supposed
to last my mom a month.
147
00:07:42,026 --> 00:07:44,812
Girl, you know what, you got
to buy the best for your family.
148
00:07:44,986 --> 00:07:46,857
The best.That's what I always say.
149
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:49,207
There's nothing too expensive
for my family.
150
00:07:49,381 --> 00:07:50,557
SHEILA: Mm-mm.Ooh.
151
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:51,906
Daddy gonna be mad.
152
00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,168
[MUTTERS]
153
00:07:53,342 --> 00:07:54,256
That look meant,
154
00:07:54,430 --> 00:07:56,693
"Get with the program."
155
00:07:56,867 --> 00:07:58,608
You look good, you look good.Oh!
156
00:07:58,782 --> 00:08:01,045
You look good too, girl.Y'all get in the car.
157
00:08:02,264 --> 00:08:04,396
Get in the car.
158
00:08:04,571 --> 00:08:07,095
Meanwhile, I turned down
Greg's project
159
00:08:07,269 --> 00:08:09,663
on the Theory of Relativity.
160
00:08:09,837 --> 00:08:11,229
Go!
161
00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:12,622
[GLASS BREAKING]
162
00:08:12,796 --> 00:08:14,319
Ooh!MAN: I'm coming up there, boys!
163
00:08:14,494 --> 00:08:16,278
Go. He turned down my project
164
00:08:16,452 --> 00:08:18,236
on how to make ice.
165
00:08:18,410 --> 00:08:20,674
Finally, we decided
on something we both liked:
166
00:08:20,848 --> 00:08:22,545
BOTH:
The solar system!
167
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,329
CHRIS:
This looks great.
168
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,114
Mercury is closest
to the sun,
169
00:08:26,288 --> 00:08:28,246
Venus is second, Earth is third.
170
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:31,119
And we have four moons
around Jupiter.
171
00:08:31,293 --> 00:08:32,860
It's perfectly to scale.
172
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:36,080
Quit lying to yourself.What's that supposed to mean?
173
00:08:36,254 --> 00:08:38,256
If Earth was actually
this close to the sun,
174
00:08:38,430 --> 00:08:41,956
we'd all be dead.Greg, it's a science project.
175
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:43,958
It looks great.We gotta do it over.
176
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:46,700
Do it over?
Do the whole universe over?
177
00:08:46,874 --> 00:08:49,529
Are you crazy?
It looks great the way it is.
178
00:08:49,703 --> 00:08:52,575
This isn't great, this sucks.Look at this kid.
179
00:08:52,749 --> 00:08:55,447
His project is a bug in Jell-O.
We're fine.
180
00:08:55,622 --> 00:08:57,406
I knew you didn't take science
as seriously as I do.
181
00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,974
Einstein didn't take science
as seriously as you do.
182
00:09:00,148 --> 00:09:02,063
I should've gotten
somebody else for a partner.
183
00:09:02,237 --> 00:09:03,804
I can't turn this in.
People will think I'm an idiot.
184
00:09:03,978 --> 00:09:05,893
What are you trying to say?I said it once,
185
00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:08,373
and I'm gonna say it again.
This sucks.
186
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,332
If you want
to do something else...
187
00:09:10,506 --> 00:09:12,464
well, then do something else.
188
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:15,076
I'm not gonna let you
screw the whole thing up.
189
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,686
[BOTH GRUNTING]
190
00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:21,561
There's a reason you didn't
have a friend till I came along.
191
00:09:21,735 --> 00:09:24,259
And there's a reason
you don't have a friend now.
192
00:09:24,433 --> 00:09:27,349
It was like Andrew Ridgeley
leaving Wham!
193
00:09:27,523 --> 00:09:32,093
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
194
00:09:38,186 --> 00:09:41,102
Rochelle, I thought I asked you
not to buy these name brands.
195
00:09:41,276 --> 00:09:43,060
Oh, well, honey,
I figured the kids...
196
00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:46,368
You know what? Forget it.
I forgot you used food stamps.
197
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,979
Uh-huh. We used food stamps.
198
00:09:49,153 --> 00:09:51,025
Mama, you know we--Tonya, why don't you
199
00:09:51,199 --> 00:09:52,635
go get your daddy some syrup.
200
00:09:52,809 --> 00:09:54,245
For his cereal?
201
00:09:54,419 --> 00:09:55,856
For his pancakes.
202
00:10:02,166 --> 00:10:03,515
Baby, you want some pancakes?
203
00:10:03,690 --> 00:10:06,388
I didn't even know we had these.Yeah.
204
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,172
Wow, Ma, this toast is good.
205
00:10:08,346 --> 00:10:10,566
What'd you do different?I bought fresh bread.
206
00:10:10,740 --> 00:10:13,047
We usually got our bread
from the day-old bakery,
207
00:10:13,221 --> 00:10:14,962
which was even cheaper
when we got it
208
00:10:15,136 --> 00:10:16,833
from the three-day-old shelf.
209
00:10:18,748 --> 00:10:21,925
That look says, "If you
couldn't whup me, I'd tell."
210
00:10:25,929 --> 00:10:27,844
You know, I been thinking.
211
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:30,673
Since I found this money,
we got over $100 left
212
00:10:30,847 --> 00:10:33,241
after we pay the light bill
and get your hair done.
213
00:10:33,415 --> 00:10:35,591
Maybe we could splurge for once.Splurge?
214
00:10:35,765 --> 00:10:38,681
Yeah, I mean... $100.
215
00:10:38,855 --> 00:10:40,030
I could take the day off.
216
00:10:40,204 --> 00:10:42,119
I could sleep till 9:00.
217
00:10:42,293 --> 00:10:44,382
Hey, we could even go
to a movie for once.
218
00:10:44,556 --> 00:10:46,167
That was 1982.
219
00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:49,213
These days, $100
won't even buy you $20.
220
00:10:49,387 --> 00:10:51,651
Um, maybe that's not
such a good idea.
221
00:10:51,825 --> 00:10:53,130
Oh, yes it is.
222
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,176
Not every day you find
money like that.
223
00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:57,221
I know, but, you know,
maybe we should...
224
00:10:57,395 --> 00:10:59,746
Come on.
You're getting your hair done.
225
00:10:59,920 --> 00:11:01,835
Why can't I treat myself
to something?
226
00:11:02,009 --> 00:11:03,227
I'm just saying, look,
227
00:11:03,401 --> 00:11:05,621
we shouldn't
rush into anything, you know?
228
00:11:05,795 --> 00:11:08,102
You know what, baby?
You're right.
229
00:11:08,276 --> 00:11:11,192
See? I'm right.You right. I hear you.
230
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,542
I'm gonna take a nap
231
00:11:13,716 --> 00:11:15,587
and figure out
how to spend this money.
232
00:11:15,762 --> 00:11:19,374
Some people counted sheep,
my father counted cheap.
233
00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:21,463
Don't you have to go to work?
234
00:11:21,637 --> 00:11:22,769
Not right now.
235
00:11:22,943 --> 00:11:26,468
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
236
00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:28,557
I'm gonna be over by
the electric company.
237
00:11:28,731 --> 00:11:30,602
If you give me the money,
I can pay the light bill.
238
00:11:30,777 --> 00:11:33,736
No, no, no. I'll do it.
239
00:11:33,910 --> 00:11:35,825
You just lay down
and take a nap and rest.
240
00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:37,522
I'll take care of it.It's across the--
241
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:41,352
Shh!Ha! Get...
242
00:11:41,526 --> 00:11:42,702
Could you get me a pillow?
243
00:11:42,876 --> 00:11:45,792
Sure, sure. Pillow for Julius.
244
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:48,577
Thank you, baby. Thank you.Go ahead. Get some rest.
245
00:11:48,751 --> 00:11:50,187
I hate to admit it,
246
00:11:50,361 --> 00:11:52,015
but the first real breakup
I ever had
247
00:11:52,189 --> 00:11:54,626
wasn't with a girl,
it was with Greg.
248
00:11:54,801 --> 00:11:56,193
Give me back Mercury.
249
00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:57,542
Go ahead, you can have it.
250
00:11:57,717 --> 00:11:59,196
But I brought Earth into this,
251
00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:00,589
so it's rightfully mine.
252
00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:05,115
Hey, where's my Earth?It got burned up by the sun.
253
00:12:05,289 --> 00:12:07,465
You know what? I'm gonna
get another partner,
254
00:12:07,639 --> 00:12:09,685
then we're gonna finish this
and slaughter you.
255
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:11,252
Well, I'm gonna get one too.
256
00:12:11,426 --> 00:12:14,124
Go ahead.
I will!
257
00:12:14,298 --> 00:12:15,430
Bye.
258
00:12:15,604 --> 00:12:16,561
Shoot.
259
00:12:18,476 --> 00:12:22,263
There's two more girls
I can scratch off my list.
260
00:12:22,437 --> 00:12:23,786
You know what?
261
00:12:23,960 --> 00:12:25,962
Instead of spending
that money on ourselves,
262
00:12:26,136 --> 00:12:29,009
why don't you, me and the kids
go to the movies on Friday?
263
00:12:29,183 --> 00:12:30,532
Well, isn't that expensive?
264
00:12:30,706 --> 00:12:32,490
We got it. It could be fun.
265
00:12:32,664 --> 00:12:34,841
We could go see Rocky III
at the dollar show.
266
00:12:35,015 --> 00:12:36,233
The kids love Rocky.
267
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,669
Usually, my mother would jump
268
00:12:37,844 --> 00:12:39,454
at going to the movies,
269
00:12:39,628 --> 00:12:41,804
because with three kids,
she never had time.
270
00:12:41,978 --> 00:12:44,502
As a matter of fact, here's the last movie she saw.
271
00:12:44,676 --> 00:12:46,330
[♪♪♪]
272
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:55,992
Movies are on TV
every Friday, you know?
273
00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:57,689
There's no gum
on the floor,
274
00:12:57,864 --> 00:12:59,691
no rats running
through the aisles.
275
00:12:59,866 --> 00:13:02,390
You can go to the bathroom
as much as you like.
276
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,392
Ooh, as a matter of fact,
Friday night,
277
00:13:04,566 --> 00:13:06,089
The Ghost and Mr. Chickenis on.
278
00:13:06,263 --> 00:13:07,917
Why would I need
to go to the movies?
279
00:13:08,091 --> 00:13:09,614
Because you're always
complaining
280
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,834
about how I never
take you to the movies.
281
00:13:12,008 --> 00:13:13,488
Well, I'm tired, you know?
282
00:13:13,662 --> 00:13:15,185
I just want to stay home.
283
00:13:16,839 --> 00:13:18,580
Okay.
284
00:13:18,754 --> 00:13:21,061
You never really
appreciate a friend
285
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,845
until you try
to find another one.
286
00:13:23,019 --> 00:13:24,804
Did you see Knight Rider
last night?
287
00:13:24,978 --> 00:13:27,850
No. Did you see
the Celtics game?
288
00:13:28,024 --> 00:13:29,852
No.I didn't think so.
289
00:13:30,026 --> 00:13:32,202
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
290
00:13:32,376 --> 00:13:34,291
Si. If I had known
291
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,467
there was a Puerto Rican kid
in the school,
292
00:13:36,641 --> 00:13:39,906
I would've hung out
with him in the first place.
293
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:41,864
My mother
couldn't admit what she did,
294
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,910
so the only thing
left for her to do
295
00:13:44,084 --> 00:13:45,694
was sell her food stamps.
296
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:47,478
Food stamps. I got food stamps.
297
00:13:47,652 --> 00:13:50,046
What? I can't hear
what you're saying.
298
00:13:50,220 --> 00:13:52,744
I said I got food stamps.
I got those food stamps.
299
00:13:52,919 --> 00:13:55,704
Oh, whoop-de-damn-do.
I got food stamps too.
300
00:13:57,532 --> 00:13:58,620
Excuse me.
301
00:13:58,794 --> 00:14:00,100
Food stamps.
302
00:14:00,274 --> 00:14:02,580
Come on, girl,
you know you need them.
303
00:14:02,754 --> 00:14:05,583
I'm short on my light bill,
need to sell these food stamps.
304
00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:08,195
Fifty cent on the dollar.Oh, no, no. No, thank you.
305
00:14:08,369 --> 00:14:10,153
Beat it, beat it.Food stamps!
306
00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,721
What?Fifty cent on the dollar.
307
00:14:12,895 --> 00:14:14,331
[ALL CLAMORING]
308
00:14:14,505 --> 00:14:16,638
What the hell?
What the hell is going...?
309
00:14:16,812 --> 00:14:17,726
All right, all right.
310
00:14:17,900 --> 00:14:19,946
One at a time.
One at a time.
311
00:14:20,120 --> 00:14:21,425
Damn it!
312
00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:23,210
My mother finally
had to turn
313
00:14:23,384 --> 00:14:26,300
to the one guy she thought
could help her, Risky.
314
00:14:26,474 --> 00:14:29,216
Now, Risky specialized
in buying and selling things
315
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,000
he wasn't supposed to have.
316
00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,349
Come on, Risky.
317
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,482
Man, this is $200 worth
of food stamps.
318
00:14:34,656 --> 00:14:36,527
Two hundred dollars worth
of food stamps?
319
00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:40,183
I'm trying to sell
$2000 worth of food stamps.
320
00:14:40,357 --> 00:14:44,100
Want to buy an iron?You take food stamps?
321
00:14:44,274 --> 00:14:46,929
♪ Yeah, come on, come on
Come on ♪
322
00:14:47,103 --> 00:14:49,845
♪ Yeah, that's right
That's right... ♪
323
00:14:50,019 --> 00:14:52,369
Get out of my way.No, you get out of my way.
324
00:14:52,543 --> 00:14:54,632
Fight!
325
00:14:54,806 --> 00:14:56,678
Like wars,
most fights are started
326
00:14:56,852 --> 00:14:58,419
by people who won't get hit.
327
00:14:58,593 --> 00:15:00,856
All right, then. Hold my books.
328
00:15:01,030 --> 00:15:03,903
Hold mybooks.Hold my sweater.
329
00:15:04,077 --> 00:15:05,513
Hold my vest.
330
00:15:05,687 --> 00:15:07,515
Hold my watch.
331
00:15:07,689 --> 00:15:09,560
Hold my Star Trekbracelet.
332
00:15:09,734 --> 00:15:11,432
Hold my shoes.
333
00:15:11,606 --> 00:15:13,782
♪ The game is over
Come on... ♪
334
00:15:15,392 --> 00:15:17,046
[MUSIC STOPS]
335
00:15:17,220 --> 00:15:19,570
[BOTH LAUGHING][CROWD GROANS DISAPPOINTEDLY]
336
00:15:19,744 --> 00:15:22,051
"Hold my shoes"?
Where'd you get that?
337
00:15:22,225 --> 00:15:24,184
It was either that
or punch you in the face.
338
00:15:24,358 --> 00:15:26,229
Seriously?
CHRIS: No.
339
00:15:26,403 --> 00:15:28,492
What are we gonna do about
the science project?
340
00:15:28,666 --> 00:15:29,754
I got an idea.
341
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,629
[SPEAKS IN SPANISH]
342
00:15:34,803 --> 00:15:37,240
BOTH: What?He said, "What about us?"
343
00:15:37,414 --> 00:15:39,199
[BOTH SPEAK IN SPANISH]
344
00:15:39,373 --> 00:15:40,200
Come on.
345
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,332
[♪♪♪]
346
00:15:46,815 --> 00:15:48,860
My mother decided
to hit the one place
347
00:15:49,035 --> 00:15:51,515
where selling food stamps
would be easy.
348
00:15:51,689 --> 00:15:53,648
Food stamps,
50 cent on the dollar.
349
00:15:55,432 --> 00:15:57,173
Food stamps, 50 cent
on the dollar.
350
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:59,306
Come on, Paco.I'll take a nickel bag.
351
00:16:01,961 --> 00:16:03,527
Risky?
352
00:16:03,701 --> 00:16:06,269
Rochelle? What you doing?
You selling weed?
353
00:16:06,443 --> 00:16:08,793
No, I'm not selling weed.
I'm selling food stamps.
354
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:10,534
Oh, well, who's selling weed?
355
00:16:10,708 --> 00:16:13,842
Get your jelly bean head
out of here.
356
00:16:14,016 --> 00:16:16,453
Did I just hear you say
you were selling food stamps?
357
00:16:16,627 --> 00:16:18,978
I most certainly am not
selling food stamps.
358
00:16:19,152 --> 00:16:20,066
Who said I was selling
food stamps?
359
00:16:20,240 --> 00:16:22,720
Rochelle! Ha-ha!Hey, hey!
360
00:16:22,894 --> 00:16:25,288
Hey, I didn't know you knew Pam.Hi, Pam.
361
00:16:25,462 --> 00:16:27,203
Hey.We just met.
362
00:16:27,377 --> 00:16:28,988
Yeah.Girl, your hair looks good.
363
00:16:29,162 --> 00:16:30,728
Thank you.
Pam is my hairdresser.
364
00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:32,774
I just came from her shop.Coincidence.
365
00:16:32,948 --> 00:16:35,168
So, what about
those food stamps?
366
00:16:35,342 --> 00:16:37,387
I'm not selling food stamps.You selling food stamps?
367
00:16:37,561 --> 00:16:39,085
No, no, no, no.
368
00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,695
It looked like she was
selling food stamps.
369
00:16:40,869 --> 00:16:42,697
Where's your shop?Right up the block.
370
00:16:42,871 --> 00:16:44,916
Okay, okay.You could use a touch-up.
371
00:16:45,091 --> 00:16:46,831
I sure can.
372
00:16:47,006 --> 00:16:49,356
Uh, um,
when's your next appointment?
373
00:16:49,530 --> 00:16:51,836
Oh, she can take you now.Really?
374
00:16:52,011 --> 00:16:53,360
I just came to get lunch.
375
00:16:53,534 --> 00:16:55,318
My next appointment
isn't for another hour.
376
00:16:55,492 --> 00:16:56,754
See? There you go.
377
00:16:56,928 --> 00:16:58,756
I'll see y'all later.All right, girl.
378
00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:01,237
You see that lady selling
food stamps, let me know.
379
00:17:01,411 --> 00:17:02,543
Ha, will do.
380
00:17:02,717 --> 00:17:05,415
Take care.
Looking good, girl.
381
00:17:05,589 --> 00:17:07,374
Where's your shop?Right up the street.
382
00:17:07,548 --> 00:17:10,377
I'll hook you up right now.All right.
383
00:17:10,551 --> 00:17:12,553
I still wish Earth was
further from the sun.
384
00:17:12,727 --> 00:17:14,555
You think we can win it?Are you kidding?
385
00:17:14,729 --> 00:17:16,209
If we can't beat
a bug in Jell-O,
386
00:17:16,383 --> 00:17:17,427
I'll go to school
in your neighborhood.
387
00:17:17,601 --> 00:17:19,168
You're right.
This looks great.
388
00:17:19,342 --> 00:17:21,823
Hey, Frank. I finished
our science project.
389
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:25,348
Hey, you can't do that!What are you gonna do about it?
390
00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,611
All the science in the world
is no match for a guy
391
00:17:27,785 --> 00:17:31,659
who could smack the taste
out of your mouth.
392
00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:34,270
Caruso couldn't spell
"solar system,"
393
00:17:34,444 --> 00:17:36,185
but since he could
kick both our asses,
394
00:17:36,359 --> 00:17:38,709
that meant
the universe was his.
395
00:17:38,883 --> 00:17:40,146
Yeah!
396
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,496
At least we beat the Jell-O bug.
397
00:17:44,585 --> 00:17:46,282
Wow, Mom, your hair looks great.
398
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:47,631
Thank you, baby.
399
00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,372
Hey, Dad, can we get
Frosted Flakes
400
00:17:49,546 --> 00:17:52,071
next time we go to the store?I don't know.
401
00:17:52,245 --> 00:17:53,768
Did you spend
all the food stamps?
402
00:17:53,942 --> 00:17:55,900
Hey, Mom, now that we
have fresh bread,
403
00:17:56,075 --> 00:17:57,467
can we have French toast?
404
00:17:57,641 --> 00:18:00,209
I've never had it when
the bread wasn't smashed.
405
00:18:00,383 --> 00:18:02,864
Rochelle, I know you
don't wanna go to the movies,
406
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:04,387
but can you think about it?
407
00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,955
We're going to the movies? Rocky III.
408
00:18:07,129 --> 00:18:09,392
Oh!If your mother wants to go.
409
00:18:09,566 --> 00:18:12,265
Even though my mother cared
about what people thought,
410
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:16,356
she cared a little more
about what we thought.
411
00:18:16,530 --> 00:18:18,401
I have a confession to make.
412
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:19,924
JULIUS:
What's wrong?
413
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,188
We don't have the money
to go to the movies.
414
00:18:22,362 --> 00:18:23,798
What are you talking about?
415
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:25,365
After your hair
and the light bill,
416
00:18:25,539 --> 00:18:27,845
we should have
at least $30 left over.
417
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,021
I used it to buy groceries.What?
418
00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:33,199
I told you, I don't like
shopping with food stamps.
419
00:18:33,373 --> 00:18:35,244
Sheila was in the store
when I was there
420
00:18:35,418 --> 00:18:37,203
and I just got
a little embarrassed.
421
00:18:37,377 --> 00:18:40,206
I didn't want her to think
we couldn't afford food.
422
00:18:43,252 --> 00:18:45,646
You know what? Forget about it.
423
00:18:45,820 --> 00:18:48,518
It's no big deal.
Money is money.
424
00:18:48,692 --> 00:18:51,608
We can still buy groceries
with food stamps.
425
00:18:51,782 --> 00:18:53,523
You bought those name brands,
426
00:18:53,697 --> 00:18:57,179
so we gonna have to make it
stretch, so get generic.
427
00:18:57,353 --> 00:18:59,050
We ain't got the food stamps.
428
00:18:59,225 --> 00:19:00,443
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
429
00:19:00,617 --> 00:19:02,489
What?I gave it to my hairdresser
430
00:19:02,663 --> 00:19:04,055
to fix my perm.
431
00:19:04,230 --> 00:19:06,493
That was $200 worth
of food stamps.
432
00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,843
Baby, she only gave me
25 cents on the dollar.
433
00:19:09,017 --> 00:19:10,192
What do you want me to do?
434
00:19:10,366 --> 00:19:12,063
You couldn't
talk her up to 27 cent?
435
00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,503
You know what? Hey...
436
00:19:16,677 --> 00:19:19,419
At least
you paid the light bill.
437
00:19:19,593 --> 00:19:22,291
[UTENSILS CLATTERING]
438
00:19:22,465 --> 00:19:23,684
ROCHELLE:
Chris!
439
00:19:23,858 --> 00:19:28,384
♪ Everybody hates Chris ♪
440
00:19:28,558 --> 00:19:29,777
CHRIS:
I didn't do anything.
441
00:19:29,951 --> 00:19:33,041
ROCHELLE:
I know. I know.
442
00:19:33,215 --> 00:19:37,741
Stay tuned for scenes
from our next episode.
443
00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,526
[♪♪♪]
444
00:19:41,615 --> 00:19:44,008
♪ Aw, make it funky now ♪
31354
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