Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,334 --> 00:00:03,876
[ STATIC ]
2
00:00:03,959 --> 00:00:05,250
[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
3
00:00:05,334 --> 00:00:08,459
>> ♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD AND
4
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,709
BURIED ♪
5
00:00:10,792 --> 00:00:13,083
♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN WOULD
6
00:00:13,167 --> 00:00:16,042
JUST EXPLODE ♪
7
00:00:16,125 --> 00:00:18,542
♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME TO
8
00:00:18,626 --> 00:00:20,792
HIS KINGDOM ♪
9
00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:23,125
♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF
10
00:00:23,209 --> 00:00:25,125
BITCHES WHEN I GO ♪
11
00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:27,667
[ YODELING ]
12
00:00:27,751 --> 00:00:28,417
>> Rusty: MY TURN.
>> Early: HELL NO.
13
00:00:29,250 --> 00:00:30,375
>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT
14
00:00:30,459 --> 00:00:30,751
THING!
15
00:00:30,834 --> 00:00:33,167
>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
16
00:00:36,834 --> 00:00:39,584
I'M EMBARRASSED, SHERIFF --
17
00:00:39,667 --> 00:00:40,751
ASHAMED.
18
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,959
HOW COULD I TOSS THIS BOTTLE OUT
19
00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:44,959
OF MY TRUCK WHEN THERE'S STILL
20
00:00:45,042 --> 00:00:46,709
GOOD PARTY LIQUOR INSIDE?
21
00:00:46,792 --> 00:00:48,000
[ GULPING ]
22
00:00:48,083 --> 00:00:49,042
AHHH.
23
00:00:49,125 --> 00:00:50,417
LIKE I AIN'T NEVER DRUNK AND
24
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:51,834
DRIVE AND THROWED OUT GARBAGE
25
00:00:51,918 --> 00:00:52,334
BEFORE.
26
00:00:52,417 --> 00:00:53,584
>> Sheriff: WELL, THIS AIN'T ALL
27
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:54,334
YOUR MESS, EARLY.
28
00:00:54,417 --> 00:00:56,083
I MEAN, IF EVERYONE WOULD JUST
29
00:00:56,167 --> 00:00:57,417
TAKE A LITTLE PRIDE IN
30
00:00:57,500 --> 00:00:59,209
MOTHER EARTH, YOU WOULDN'T HAVE
31
00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:00,876
TO BE OUT HERE -- THAT AND IF
32
00:01:00,959 --> 00:01:02,083
YOU HADN'T HAVE WAVED YOUR JUNK
33
00:01:02,167 --> 00:01:02,918
AT THAT SCHOOL BUS.
34
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,459
>> Early: LIKE THEM YOUNG'ERNS
35
00:01:04,542 --> 00:01:06,083
AIN'T NEVER SEEN A GROWN MAN'S
36
00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:06,584
PENIS.
WHAT'S THIS?
37
00:01:07,417 --> 00:01:09,000
I THOUGHT I SMASHED THAT WITH A
38
00:01:09,083 --> 00:01:09,792
CINDER BLOCK.
39
00:01:09,876 --> 00:01:11,417
>> Sheriff: WELL, THIS IS A NEW
40
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:12,918
ONE -- DOUGAL COUNTY'S FIRST
41
00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:14,542
SOLAR-POWERED SPEED-LIMIT SIGN!
42
00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,292
>> Early: USING MAGIC TO POWER
43
00:01:16,375 --> 00:01:17,125
THINGS NOW?!
44
00:01:17,209 --> 00:01:18,459
THIS IS NOT CHRISTIAN!
45
00:01:18,542 --> 00:01:19,125
HELL NO!
46
00:01:19,209 --> 00:01:20,209
>> Sheriff: WELL, THE
47
00:01:20,292 --> 00:01:21,542
GAS-POWERED SIGNS WERE JUST
48
00:01:21,626 --> 00:01:22,751
EXPENSIVE AS HELL, EARLY.
49
00:01:22,834 --> 00:01:24,209
PLUS YOU HAD TO COME OUT HERE
50
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:25,250
AND PUT GAS IN THEM.
51
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:26,709
>> Early: AND WHAT HAPPENS WHEN
52
00:01:26,792 --> 00:01:28,167
WE USE UP ALL THE SUNBEAMS, HUH?
53
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:29,375
THAT SUN AIN'T RENEWABLE,
54
00:01:29,459 --> 00:01:29,918
NEITHER.
55
00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,125
YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT POWERS THAT
56
00:01:31,209 --> 00:01:31,876
BIG BALL OF LIGHT!
57
00:01:31,959 --> 00:01:34,292
LEAST I KNOW WHERE MY GAS COMES
58
00:01:34,375 --> 00:01:37,042
FROM -- BOYD'S GAS STATION!
59
00:01:37,125 --> 00:01:37,792
THAT'S RIGHT.
60
00:01:37,876 --> 00:01:39,292
>> Sheriff: EARLY, THAT SIGN'S
61
00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:39,667
NEW.
DON'T YOU TOUCH IT.
62
00:01:40,751 --> 00:01:41,667
>> Early: COME ON NOW.
63
00:01:41,751 --> 00:01:42,792
THIS IS THE WAY I EFFECT
64
00:01:42,876 --> 00:01:43,584
POSITIVE CHANGE!
65
00:01:43,667 --> 00:01:44,959
>> Sheriff: LOOK, YOU'VE GOT THE
66
00:01:45,042 --> 00:01:46,042
RIGHT TO MAKE A PEACEFUL
67
00:01:46,125 --> 00:01:47,417
PROTEST, BUT, PLEASE, EARLY, WE
68
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,167
JUST PUT IT IN.
69
00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:50,375
PLEASE DON'T. PLEASE.
70
00:01:50,459 --> 00:01:51,751
>> Early: [ GRUNTS ]
71
00:01:51,834 --> 00:01:53,459
>> Sheriff: PLEASE, EARLY.
72
00:01:53,542 --> 00:01:54,375
[ GUN COCKS ]
PLEASE DON'T.
73
00:01:55,334 --> 00:01:56,959
>> Early: I'M TOO ANGRY TO BE
74
00:01:57,042 --> 00:01:58,834
PICKING UP GARBAGE AS ORDERED BY
75
00:01:58,918 --> 00:01:59,542
THE COURT!
76
00:01:59,626 --> 00:02:01,334
SOLAR POWER IS SUMBITCHIN'
77
00:02:01,417 --> 00:02:02,125
WITCHERY!
78
00:02:02,209 --> 00:02:03,792
GET A TAN WITH THAT, YOU
79
00:02:03,876 --> 00:02:05,918
SUN-HUGGER!
80
00:02:06,042 --> 00:02:08,125
THE SUN IS FINE IF YOU WANT TO
81
00:02:08,209 --> 00:02:10,375
THROW FOOD AND SEE THINGS DURING
82
00:02:10,459 --> 00:02:11,792
THE DAYTIME HOURS!
83
00:02:11,876 --> 00:02:13,584
BUT RUN A TRAFFIC SIGN WITH
84
00:02:13,667 --> 00:02:14,042
IT?
HELL NAW!
85
00:02:14,918 --> 00:02:16,667
I TELL YOU WHAT I USE --
86
00:02:16,751 --> 00:02:18,959
GOOD OLD-FASHIONED SAUDI ARABIAN
87
00:02:19,042 --> 00:02:21,292
OIL FROM OUR B.F.F.s IN THE DAMN
88
00:02:21,375 --> 00:02:22,042
DESERT!
HELL YEAH!
89
00:02:22,834 --> 00:02:24,292
IT AIN'T NEVER GONNA RUN OUT!
90
00:02:24,375 --> 00:02:26,417
IN MY LIFETIME, ANYHOW.
91
00:02:26,500 --> 00:02:28,375
NOW LET THEM WITNESS MY BLACK
92
00:02:28,459 --> 00:02:29,834
FUMES ALL THE WAY TO
93
00:02:29,918 --> 00:02:31,083
WASHINGTON, D.C.!
94
00:02:31,167 --> 00:02:33,000
LET'S ROLL SOME COAL, BABY!
95
00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,584
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]
96
00:02:34,667 --> 00:02:37,083
WHOO!
97
00:02:37,167 --> 00:02:39,709
[ ENGINE REVS, SPUTTERS ]
98
00:02:39,792 --> 00:02:42,542
ALL RIGHT. I'M OUT OF GAS.
99
00:02:42,626 --> 00:02:44,167
I'LL BE BACK IN ABOUT 20 MINUTES
100
00:02:44,250 --> 00:02:45,751
IF Y'ALL HANG TIGHT FOR MORE OF
101
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:47,083
MY COAL-ROLLING PROTEST!
102
00:02:47,167 --> 00:02:48,542
NOW CAN SOMEBODY GIVE ME A RIDE
103
00:02:48,626 --> 00:02:49,500
TO THE GAS STATION?
104
00:02:49,584 --> 00:02:50,792
>> Rusty: DADDY, IF, UM --
105
00:02:50,876 --> 00:02:52,167
IF YOU CARPOOLIN', DON'T THAT
106
00:02:52,250 --> 00:02:53,209
UNDERCUT THE MESSAGE?
107
00:02:53,292 --> 00:02:54,459
>> Early: I AIN'T EVEN BEGUN TO
108
00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:55,500
MAKE MY MESSAGE CLEAR YET!
109
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:58,083
BUT, YEAH, IT WOULD, SO...
110
00:02:58,167 --> 00:03:00,292
GOD DAMN IT! I'LL WALK!
111
00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:01,626
>> Rusty: SHERIFF, AIN'T THERE
112
00:03:01,709 --> 00:03:02,834
SOME WAY YOU CAN STOP THIS?
113
00:03:02,918 --> 00:03:04,250
>> Sheriff: WELL, I CAN'T ARREST
114
00:03:04,334 --> 00:03:05,375
HIM FOR REVVING UNDER THE
115
00:03:05,459 --> 00:03:05,959
INFLUENCE.
116
00:03:06,042 --> 00:03:07,209
YOU KNOW, IT'S IN PARK.
117
00:03:07,292 --> 00:03:08,792
>> Rusty: WHAT ABOUT THAT PLAN
118
00:03:08,876 --> 00:03:09,751
WE TALKED ABOUT?
119
00:03:09,834 --> 00:03:12,042
>> Sheriff: I GUESS WE'RE NEVER
120
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:14,042
GONNA HAVE A BETTER CHANCE,
121
00:03:14,125 --> 00:03:14,751
RUSTY.
122
00:03:14,834 --> 00:03:16,667
>> Early: WHAT THE...?
123
00:03:16,751 --> 00:03:19,000
NO! MY TRUCK!
124
00:03:19,083 --> 00:03:20,417
MY BOAT!
125
00:03:20,500 --> 00:03:22,709
MY SECOND COMPLETELY UNNECESSARY
126
00:03:22,792 --> 00:03:23,375
TRUCK!
[ CRYING ]
127
00:03:24,292 --> 00:03:25,834
WHO DO I SHOOT FOR THIS?!
128
00:03:25,918 --> 00:03:27,209
>> Sheriff: CALM DOWN, EARLY.
129
00:03:27,292 --> 00:03:27,834
IT'S OKAY.
130
00:03:27,918 --> 00:03:29,167
THE DEALERSHIP CAME OUT AND
131
00:03:29,250 --> 00:03:30,667
PICKED UP YOUR TRUCK-BOAT-TRUCK.
132
00:03:30,751 --> 00:03:32,083
THESE 2002s HAD THAT FAULTY
133
00:03:32,167 --> 00:03:33,042
IGNITION SWITCH.
>> Rusty: YEAH.
134
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:35,500
WE WENT AHEAD AND RENTED YOU A
135
00:03:35,584 --> 00:03:36,876
REPLACEMENT RIG WHILE THEY
136
00:03:36,959 --> 00:03:37,417
FIX IT.
137
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:39,125
>> Sheriff: THAT'S RIGHT.
138
00:03:39,209 --> 00:03:41,209
THIS HERE'S THE HAZUZAKI E-CORN!
139
00:03:41,292 --> 00:03:42,542
>> Rusty: DID WE REALLY NEED
140
00:03:42,626 --> 00:03:43,792
THAT SECOND CAR AND KAYAK?
141
00:03:43,876 --> 00:03:45,250
>> Sheriff: BABY STEPS, RUSTY.
142
00:03:45,334 --> 00:03:46,417
>> Early: HAZUZAKI, HUH?
143
00:03:46,500 --> 00:03:47,584
SOUNDS LIKE A DAMN RICE-BURNING
144
00:03:47,667 --> 00:03:48,375
SUSHI-RUNNER TO ME.
145
00:03:48,459 --> 00:03:49,542
>> Rusty: WELL, DADDY, I MEAN,
146
00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:50,250
THAT'S THE THING.
147
00:03:50,334 --> 00:03:51,417
IT REALLY DON'T BURN NOTHING --
148
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:52,792
>> Sheriff: SHHH! RUSTY!
149
00:03:52,876 --> 00:03:53,834
[ CLEARS THROAT ]
150
00:03:53,918 --> 00:03:55,459
THIS HAZUZAKI'S BUILT AMERICAN
151
00:03:55,542 --> 00:03:56,042
STRONG!
152
00:03:56,125 --> 00:03:57,459
>> Early: WHERE THE GAS HOLE AT?
153
00:03:57,542 --> 00:03:57,959
IN HERE?
154
00:03:58,042 --> 00:03:59,167
>> Sheriff: NO, NO, NO, NO!
155
00:03:59,250 --> 00:04:00,000
NO. HERE. LET ME.
[ CHUCKLES ]
156
00:04:00,751 --> 00:04:02,000
LET ME FILL IT FOR YOU, EARLY.
157
00:04:02,083 --> 00:04:03,584
YOU GO ON AND CHECK OUT THAT
158
00:04:03,667 --> 00:04:05,334
FAUX LEATHER INTERIOR, AND I'LL
159
00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:06,959
BE -- I'LL BE PUTTING THE GAS
160
00:04:07,042 --> 00:04:08,167
IN.
161
00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,167
GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG...
162
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:11,375
>> Rusty: SHERIFF, YOU KNOW YOU
163
00:04:11,459 --> 00:04:12,500
REALLY AIN'T GOT TO POUR IT OUT
164
00:04:12,584 --> 00:04:13,584
SINCE YOU ALREADY MAKING THAT
165
00:04:13,667 --> 00:04:13,959
NOISE.
166
00:04:14,042 --> 00:04:15,042
>> Sheriff: CAN YOU JUST MAKE
167
00:04:15,125 --> 00:04:15,876
SURE HE DON'T SEE THAT
ELECTRIC PLUG?
168
00:04:16,584 --> 00:04:17,584
>> Rusty: WHY'S IT GOT A
169
00:04:17,667 --> 00:04:18,876
LIGHTNING-BOLT PICTURE ON THE
170
00:04:18,959 --> 00:04:19,459
GAS METER?!
171
00:04:19,542 --> 00:04:20,751
>> Sheriff: OH, DON'T LOOK AT
172
00:04:20,834 --> 00:04:21,125
THAT!
173
00:04:21,209 --> 00:04:22,417
HEY, CHECK OUT THE CUPHOLDER.
174
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:23,792
RUSTY DONE FILLED IT UP WITH DIP
175
00:04:23,876 --> 00:04:25,125
SPIT, JUST LIKE THE OLD TRUCK!
176
00:04:25,209 --> 00:04:26,250
>> Rusty: YEAH, AND I PUT THEM
177
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,417
CHAINS AROUND YOUR LICENSE PLATE
178
00:04:27,500 --> 00:04:28,375
AND TRANSFERRED OVER YOUR
MUDFLAPS.
179
00:04:28,918 --> 00:04:29,792
>> Sheriff: HELL, WE EVEN
180
00:04:29,876 --> 00:04:30,959
REINFORCED THE BUMPER SO IT CAN
181
00:04:31,042 --> 00:04:33,834
HAUL YOUR TRUCK NUTS AROUND.
182
00:04:33,918 --> 00:04:35,083
>> Rusty: I LIKE THAT THEY DRAG.
183
00:04:35,167 --> 00:04:35,918
I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.
>> Sheriff: AND LOOK --
184
00:04:36,959 --> 00:04:38,042
YOUR FAVORITE BUMPER STICKER!
185
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:40,459
WHO IS JOHN GALT, ANYHOW?
186
00:04:40,542 --> 00:04:41,667
>> Rusty: I KNOW WHO HE IS.
187
00:04:41,751 --> 00:04:43,000
I JUST ASK OTHER PEOPLE IF THEY
188
00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,250
KNOW WHO HE IS -- SEE IF THEY
189
00:04:44,334 --> 00:04:45,542
SMART, TOO, JUST LIKE ME.
190
00:04:45,626 --> 00:04:46,542
>> Sheriff: GO ON.
191
00:04:46,626 --> 00:04:47,626
CRANK HER UP, EARLY.
192
00:04:47,709 --> 00:04:49,083
JUST PRESS THAT BIG ERGONOMIC
193
00:04:49,167 --> 00:04:50,417
BUTTON WITH THE LEAF ON IT
194
00:04:50,500 --> 00:04:50,876
THERE.
195
00:04:50,959 --> 00:04:52,375
[ CLICK! ]
196
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:53,334
>> Rusty: WHOA, NOW.
197
00:04:53,417 --> 00:04:54,709
HOW COME SHE AIN'T A-REVVIN' UP?
198
00:04:54,792 --> 00:04:55,959
>> Sheriff: RUSTY, PLUG THIS
199
00:04:56,042 --> 00:04:57,167
INTO AUX AND PLAY THE TRACK
200
00:04:57,250 --> 00:04:59,042
"LOUD ENGINE NOISE," BUT BE
201
00:04:59,125 --> 00:04:59,792
CAREFUL.
202
00:04:59,876 --> 00:05:01,751
I'VE GOT SOME HOT TRACKS ON
203
00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:02,417
THERE.
204
00:05:02,500 --> 00:05:03,626
>> Rusty: I GOT THE HAMMER DOWN
205
00:05:03,709 --> 00:05:04,000
HERE!
206
00:05:04,083 --> 00:05:05,167
THEM TIRES BACK THERE OUGHT TO
207
00:05:05,250 --> 00:05:06,167
BE A-SPINNIN' LIKE HELL!
208
00:05:06,250 --> 00:05:08,209
[ ENGINE TURNS OVER, REVS ]
209
00:05:08,292 --> 00:05:09,292
THERE SHE GOES!
210
00:05:09,375 --> 00:05:10,792
PURRING LIKE A HELLCAT!
211
00:05:10,876 --> 00:05:12,417
WELP, WE'LL SEE YOU IN THE
212
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:13,834
FUNNY PAGES, SHERIFF!
213
00:05:13,918 --> 00:05:15,751
WE GONNA LAY SOME RUBBER, BABY!
214
00:05:15,834 --> 00:05:16,751
>> Sheriff: [ CHUCKLES ]
SLOW DOWN NOW, EARLY!
215
00:05:17,751 --> 00:05:18,751
NOT TOO FAST! [ CHUCKLES ]
216
00:05:18,834 --> 00:05:19,792
>> Rusty: WHOO!
217
00:05:19,876 --> 00:05:20,876
[ ENGINE RUMBLING ]
218
00:05:20,959 --> 00:05:22,334
JUST LISTEN TO THAT 450 BIG
219
00:05:22,417 --> 00:05:22,834
BLOCK!
220
00:05:22,918 --> 00:05:24,375
HA! I'M GONNA JUMP THAT RAVINE
221
00:05:24,459 --> 00:05:24,959
UP THERE!
222
00:05:25,042 --> 00:05:26,083
>> Rusty: NO, DADDY!
223
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:27,250
DON'T JUMP THE RAVINE!
224
00:05:27,334 --> 00:05:28,500
LET'S JUST TAKE THE BRIDGE!
225
00:05:28,584 --> 00:05:29,876
>> Early: HELL, LET'S TAKE THE
226
00:05:29,959 --> 00:05:30,250
SKY!
WHOO!
227
00:05:30,709 --> 00:05:31,834
>> Rusty: DON'T DO IT, DADDY!
228
00:05:31,918 --> 00:05:32,918
>> Early: HELL YEAH! WHOO!
229
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,167
>> Rusty: NO, DADDY, NO!
230
00:05:34,250 --> 00:05:35,042
>> Early: HA HA!
231
00:05:35,125 --> 00:05:36,209
CANNOT BE STOPPED, BABY!
232
00:05:36,292 --> 00:05:37,125
>> Rusty: DADDY!!
233
00:05:37,209 --> 00:05:39,334
>> Early: WHOO!
234
00:05:39,417 --> 00:05:40,584
[ CREAK! CREAK! CREAK! ]
235
00:05:40,667 --> 00:05:41,959
>> Rusty: THANK GOD I WENT WITH
236
00:05:42,042 --> 00:05:42,876
THE TUNGSTEN NUTS.
I BUY THEM LIGHT-ASS
237
00:05:43,918 --> 00:05:45,125
CARBON-FIBER NUTS AND WE'D BE
238
00:05:45,209 --> 00:05:46,375
DEADER THAN HELL RIGHT NOW.
239
00:05:46,459 --> 00:05:47,250
[ RUMBLING STOPS ]
240
00:05:47,334 --> 00:05:49,751
>> ♪ COME ON, EVERYBODY! ♪
241
00:05:49,834 --> 00:05:50,667
[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYS ]
242
00:05:50,751 --> 00:05:52,125
>> Early: IS THERE SOMETHING YOU
243
00:05:52,209 --> 00:05:54,292
WANT TO TELL ME, BOY?
244
00:05:54,375 --> 00:05:55,167
ELECTRIC?!
NO, NO, NO!
245
00:05:56,209 --> 00:05:57,584
>> Rusty: YEAH, SEE?
246
00:05:57,667 --> 00:05:58,834
SEE, THE E-CORN JUST PLUGS IN A
247
00:05:58,918 --> 00:06:00,042
WALL, LIKE YOUR HAIR DRYER AND
248
00:06:00,125 --> 00:06:01,250
YOUR CURLING IRON AND YOUR LEG
249
00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:01,667
SHAVER.
250
00:06:01,751 --> 00:06:02,918
>> Early: SHH! DON'T TELL NOBODY
251
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,000
ABOUT MY GROOMING ROUTINE!
252
00:06:04,083 --> 00:06:05,000
>> Rusty: DADDY, WITH THAT
253
00:06:05,083 --> 00:06:06,167
E-CORN, YOU AIN'T NEVER GOT TO
254
00:06:06,250 --> 00:06:06,959
BUY GAS EVER AGAIN.
255
00:06:07,042 --> 00:06:08,083
>> Early: WELL, JUST WHERE IN
256
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,167
THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE
257
00:06:09,250 --> 00:06:10,876
GONNA PLUG IT IN, HUH?
258
00:06:10,959 --> 00:06:11,626
UNH-UNH.
259
00:06:11,709 --> 00:06:13,709
NOT THE HOT ROCKIN' SANTA CLAUS
260
00:06:13,792 --> 00:06:15,167
IN THE BUBBLE GLOBE!
261
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:16,417
>> Granny: HERE WE GO!
262
00:06:16,500 --> 00:06:18,000
THE WAR ON CHRISTMAS CONTINUES!
263
00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:19,459
>> Early: THAT'S A DEDICATED
264
00:06:19,542 --> 00:06:20,500
OUTLET RIGHT THERE.
265
00:06:20,584 --> 00:06:21,459
>> Rusty: COME ON, DADDY.
THERE'S A COPPERHEAD'S BEEN
266
00:06:22,542 --> 00:06:23,542
LIVING IN THAT THING FOR LIKE
267
00:06:23,626 --> 00:06:24,042
FIVE YEARS.
268
00:06:24,125 --> 00:06:25,167
>> Early: AND YOU'RE GONNA PUT
269
00:06:25,250 --> 00:06:26,125
HIM OUT ON THE STREET AT
CHRISTMASTIME?
270
00:06:26,834 --> 00:06:27,709
AWW, DON'T BE A SCROOGE.
271
00:06:27,792 --> 00:06:28,918
THEY CHRISTMAS SNAKES.
272
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,334
>> Granny: WHERE'S YOUR HOLIDAY
273
00:06:30,417 --> 00:06:30,834
SPIRIT?!
274
00:06:30,918 --> 00:06:32,083
>> Rusty: NOW, LOOK -- Y'ALL
275
00:06:32,167 --> 00:06:33,417
DON'T UNPLUG THIS, THE E-CORN
276
00:06:33,500 --> 00:06:34,751
NEEDS 12 HOURS FOR A COMPLETE
277
00:06:34,834 --> 00:06:35,209
CHARGE.
278
00:06:35,292 --> 00:06:36,626
>> Early: SO, WHAT IN THE HELL
279
00:06:36,709 --> 00:06:38,042
AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHILE THAT
280
00:06:38,125 --> 00:06:39,125
THING IS PLUGGING IN?
281
00:06:39,209 --> 00:06:40,626
YOU EXPECT ME TO JUST RUN AROUND
282
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:41,959
THE DAMN HOUSE MAKING ENGINE
283
00:06:42,042 --> 00:06:43,292
NOISES WITH MY MOUTH FOR THE
284
00:06:43,375 --> 00:06:44,125
NEXT 12 HOURS?!
IS THAT IT?!
285
00:06:44,918 --> 00:06:46,375
>> Rusty: WELL, SINCE YOU AIN'T
286
00:06:46,459 --> 00:06:47,792
GOT NOTHING TO REV, MAYBE YOU
287
00:06:47,876 --> 00:06:49,334
AND I COULD...BOND A LITTLE OR
288
00:06:49,417 --> 00:06:50,542
SOMETHING -- YOU KNOW,
289
00:06:50,626 --> 00:06:54,292
FATHER-SON STUFF.
290
00:06:54,375 --> 00:06:56,375
>> Early: [ IMITATING ENGINE
291
00:06:56,459 --> 00:06:57,209
REVVING ]
292
00:06:57,292 --> 00:06:58,250
BEEP, BEEP, BEEP!
293
00:06:58,334 --> 00:06:59,751
GET OUT OF MY WAY, SUMBITCH!
294
00:06:59,834 --> 00:07:04,375
[ IMITATES ENGINE REVVING ]
295
00:07:04,459 --> 00:07:05,417
>> Rusty: DADDY, YOU MIND
296
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:06,500
CUTTING OFF YOUR INVISIBLE
297
00:07:06,584 --> 00:07:06,876
TRUCK?
298
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,209
>> Early: [ IMITATES TIRES
299
00:07:08,292 --> 00:07:08,959
SCREECHING ]
300
00:07:09,042 --> 00:07:10,500
THIS IS A INVISIBLE A.T.V. NOW,
301
00:07:10,584 --> 00:07:11,083
DUMBASS.
302
00:07:11,167 --> 00:07:12,459
I GOT A HELL OF A TRADE-IN!
303
00:07:12,542 --> 00:07:13,667
>> Rusty: SIT DOWN AND COME TAKE
304
00:07:13,751 --> 00:07:14,292
A LOOK AT THIS.
305
00:07:14,375 --> 00:07:15,667
>> THE COUPLE HAS BUT A SINGLE
306
00:07:15,751 --> 00:07:16,042
GOAL.
307
00:07:16,125 --> 00:07:17,417
>> Early: IS THIS "ROAD HOUSE"?
308
00:07:17,500 --> 00:07:18,876
WHERE'S SWAYZE, AND WHY AIN'T HE
309
00:07:18,959 --> 00:07:20,334
A-PUNCHIN' NONE OF THEM PENGUINS
310
00:07:20,417 --> 00:07:20,667
OUT?
311
00:07:20,751 --> 00:07:21,918
>> Rusty: 'CAUSE THIS AIN'T
312
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:22,584
"ROAD HOUSE."
313
00:07:22,667 --> 00:07:24,209
>> Early: SOMEBODY DONE DRUNK
314
00:07:24,292 --> 00:07:26,000
MOST OF HIS SIX-PACK OF TURTLES.
315
00:07:26,083 --> 00:07:26,584
OOH, HELL!
316
00:07:26,667 --> 00:07:27,876
SWAYZE'S GONNA BE PISSED OFF.
317
00:07:27,959 --> 00:07:29,250
>> Rusty: DADDY, THEY'RE SAYING
318
00:07:29,334 --> 00:07:30,375
THAT WE'RE DESTROYING OUR
319
00:07:30,459 --> 00:07:31,751
PLANET, BURNING GAS LIKE WE DO.
320
00:07:31,834 --> 00:07:33,292
WE KEEP IT UP, ALL THESE
321
00:07:33,375 --> 00:07:35,167
CRITTERS AIN'T EVEN GONNA EXIST
322
00:07:35,250 --> 00:07:35,876
NO MORE.
323
00:07:35,959 --> 00:07:36,918
>> Early: WAIT.
324
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,459
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU A
325
00:07:38,542 --> 00:07:39,334
HOMOSEXUAL?
326
00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:40,375
>> Rusty: NO, DADDY.
327
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:41,667
I-I'M SAYING AIN'T NOBODY
328
00:07:41,751 --> 00:07:42,959
LOOKING TOWARD THE FUTURE.
329
00:07:43,042 --> 00:07:44,792
IT'S ALL ABOUT RIGHT NOW.
330
00:07:44,876 --> 00:07:47,000
>> Early: HALF-LISTENING TO YOU
331
00:07:47,083 --> 00:07:49,000
MAKES ME REALIZE HOW FRAGILE
332
00:07:49,083 --> 00:07:50,209
LIFE IS, RUSTY.
333
00:07:50,292 --> 00:07:51,542
[ Voice breaking ] I MISS MY
334
00:07:51,626 --> 00:07:52,000
TRUCKS.
335
00:07:52,083 --> 00:07:53,209
I'MA GO SEE IF THEY FIXED
336
00:07:53,292 --> 00:07:53,792
MY TRUCKS!
337
00:07:53,876 --> 00:07:54,876
>> Rusty: DADDY, WAIT!
338
00:07:54,959 --> 00:07:55,876
DON'T GO DOWN THERE!
339
00:07:55,959 --> 00:07:58,584
>> Early: MY TRU-U-U-U-U-CKS!
340
00:07:58,667 --> 00:07:59,792
>> Rusty: HE'S HEADED TO THE
341
00:07:59,876 --> 00:08:00,667
DEALERSHIP, SHERIFF!
I COULDN'T STOP HIM!
342
00:08:01,667 --> 00:08:03,876
>> Rusty: [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
343
00:08:03,959 --> 00:08:05,042
[ ELECTRICITY BUZZING ]
344
00:08:05,125 --> 00:08:06,876
SON OF A...GUN!
345
00:08:06,959 --> 00:08:08,542
THAT'S A PRETTY LITTLE RIG RIGHT
346
00:08:08,626 --> 00:08:09,042
THERE!
WHOO! DAMN!
347
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:10,792
>> HEY, FRIEND.
348
00:08:10,876 --> 00:08:12,709
WHAT WOULD IT TAKE TO PUT YOU IN
349
00:08:12,792 --> 00:08:14,500
THIS TRUCK AND BOAT AND OTHER
350
00:08:14,584 --> 00:08:15,292
TRUCK TODAY?
351
00:08:15,375 --> 00:08:16,792
I WOULD SELL YOU JUST ONE OF
352
00:08:16,876 --> 00:08:18,292
THEM, BUT THE PREVIOUS OWNER
353
00:08:18,375 --> 00:08:19,959
WELDED THE TOW HITCHES TOGETHER,
354
00:08:20,042 --> 00:08:20,417
SO...
355
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:21,542
>> Early: [ CHUCKLES ]
356
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:22,167
SMART MAN.
357
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:23,500
YOU ONLY GOT TO BUY ONE TAG.
358
00:08:23,584 --> 00:08:24,959
NOW TELL ME ABOUT THE INTERIOR.
359
00:08:25,042 --> 00:08:26,500
>> WELL, IT HAS A FAULTY
360
00:08:26,584 --> 00:08:28,083
IGNITION SWITCH, AND THE
361
00:08:28,167 --> 00:08:29,876
CASSETTE DECK COMES WITH THIS
362
00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,584
FREE COAT HANGER TO PRY OUT
363
00:08:31,667 --> 00:08:33,584
DAVID ALLEN COE'S GREATEST HITS.
364
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:34,292
>> Early: YEAH.
MINE HAD THAT, TOO.
365
00:08:35,167 --> 00:08:36,375
THAT MUST COME STANDARD WITH THE
366
00:08:36,459 --> 00:08:36,751
MODEL.
367
00:08:36,834 --> 00:08:38,250
DOES THE BACK TRUCK GOT A BEAD
368
00:08:38,334 --> 00:08:39,751
SEAT CAKED WITH BRUNSWICK-STEW
369
00:08:39,834 --> 00:08:40,209
BARF?
370
00:08:40,292 --> 00:08:41,751
>> WELL, WE PRESSURE-WASHED IT,
371
00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:44,083
BUT -- BUT WE COULD...REINSTALL
372
00:08:44,167 --> 00:08:44,751
THAT FOR YOU.
373
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:46,042
>> Early: NO, NO. THAT'S OKAY.
374
00:08:46,125 --> 00:08:47,375
I NEVER LIKED THAT TRIM PACKAGE.
375
00:08:47,459 --> 00:08:49,000
YOU WASTING BREATH HERE, CHIEF.
376
00:08:49,083 --> 00:08:50,542
I GOT ME A RIG JUST LIKE THIS
377
00:08:50,626 --> 00:08:51,709
GETTING FIXED IN YOUR
378
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:52,417
DEALERSHIP.
379
00:08:52,500 --> 00:08:53,959
>> WELL, WE DON'T -- WE DON'T
380
00:08:54,042 --> 00:08:55,626
HAVE A RIG LIKE THIS IN SERVICE.
381
00:08:55,709 --> 00:08:57,459
I MEAN, THIS IS THE ONLY ONE WE
382
00:08:57,542 --> 00:08:57,959
HAVE.
383
00:08:58,042 --> 00:09:00,000
>> Early: WAIT.
384
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:01,459
WHAT THE...?
385
00:09:01,542 --> 00:09:03,083
WHAT THE...?
386
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,667
WHAT THE...?
387
00:09:05,751 --> 00:09:07,167
I KNEW IT!
388
00:09:07,250 --> 00:09:08,709
THIS TRUCK-BOAT-TRUCK IS MINE!
389
00:09:08,792 --> 00:09:09,500
[ GUN COCKS ]
>> Sheriff: STOP!
390
00:09:10,584 --> 00:09:11,834
>> Early: YOU'D BEST HAVE
391
00:09:11,918 --> 00:09:12,918
YOURSELF A DAMN GOOD
392
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:13,709
EXPLANATION!
393
00:09:13,792 --> 00:09:15,292
AND SOMEBODY BETTER TELL ME WHO
394
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:16,918
THE HELL JOHN GLAT IS, TOO!
395
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,751
NOBODY KNOWS, AND, DAMN IT, I'M
396
00:09:18,834 --> 00:09:20,375
TIRED OF TRYING TO PRETEND!
397
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:22,000
>> Sheriff: DON'T DO NOTHING
398
00:09:22,083 --> 00:09:22,751
CRAZY, NOW!
399
00:09:22,834 --> 00:09:24,375
HOLD ON! WE'RE ALMOST THERE!
400
00:09:24,459 --> 00:09:26,751
HANG ON. I'M GETTING THERE.
401
00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:28,334
>> Rusty: AW, HELL WITH THIS.
402
00:09:28,417 --> 00:09:29,292
I'M GETTING OUT.
403
00:09:29,375 --> 00:09:30,334
LISTEN, DADDY, THAT
404
00:09:30,417 --> 00:09:31,876
TRUCK-BOAT-TRUCK WAS REALLY BAD
405
00:09:31,959 --> 00:09:33,209
FOR THE ENVIRONMENT, OKAY?
406
00:09:33,292 --> 00:09:34,042
>> Early: SO?
407
00:09:34,125 --> 00:09:35,667
>> Sheriff: AND IF YOU WEREN'T
408
00:09:35,751 --> 00:09:37,250
FILLING THIS BEHEMOTH UP THREE
409
00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:38,959
TIMES A DAY, Y'ALL MIGHT BE JUST
410
00:09:39,042 --> 00:09:40,250
ABOVE THE POVERTY LINE.
411
00:09:40,334 --> 00:09:40,959
>> Early: SO?
412
00:09:41,042 --> 00:09:42,209
>> Rusty: AND WITH THE TAX
413
00:09:42,292 --> 00:09:43,584
BREAKS THE WAY THEY ARE, HELL,
414
00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:45,000
WE BASICALLY GOT A THREE-YEAR
415
00:09:45,083 --> 00:09:46,459
LEASE ON THESE E-CORNS FOR FREE.
416
00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:47,334
>> Early: SO?
417
00:09:47,417 --> 00:09:48,918
>> Sheriff: PLUS, WE WEREN'T
418
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:49,459
LYING.
419
00:09:49,542 --> 00:09:51,167
IT STILL DOES HAVE THAT FAULTY
420
00:09:51,250 --> 00:09:52,167
IGNITION SWITCH.
421
00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:53,500
>> Rusty: YEAH, DADDY.
422
00:09:53,584 --> 00:09:55,083
THIS THING'S A ROLLING DEATH
423
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:55,584
TRAP.
424
00:09:55,667 --> 00:09:56,792
>> Early: SON, THIS ROLLING
425
00:09:56,876 --> 00:09:58,083
DEATH TRAP IS ALL THAT MATTERS
426
00:09:58,167 --> 00:09:59,626
TO ME.
427
00:09:59,709 --> 00:10:01,209
I MEAN, Y'ALL -- Y'ALL COOL,
428
00:10:01,292 --> 00:10:02,834
TOO, BUT HOW AM I GONNA REV A
429
00:10:02,918 --> 00:10:03,792
LOVED ONE, HUH?
430
00:10:03,876 --> 00:10:05,375
SHERIFF, YOU GONNA LET ME RIDE
431
00:10:05,459 --> 00:10:06,792
PIGGYBACK ON YOUR SHOULDERS
432
00:10:06,876 --> 00:10:08,292
BLASTING HANK JR.'s GREATEST
433
00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,667
HITS OUT OF YOUR BUTTHOLE?
434
00:10:09,751 --> 00:10:11,083
>> Sheriff: I DON'T THINK I
435
00:10:11,167 --> 00:10:11,876
COULD DO THAT.
436
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,375
>> Early: RUSTY, CAN YOU BARF
437
00:10:13,459 --> 00:10:15,000
BLACK SMOKE OUT YOUR MOUTH AND
438
00:10:15,083 --> 00:10:16,709
NOSE HOLES WHILE I PRESS ON YOUR
439
00:10:16,792 --> 00:10:17,834
BALLS WITH MY FOOT?
440
00:10:17,918 --> 00:10:19,375
>> Rusty: I GUESS NOT, DADDY.
441
00:10:19,459 --> 00:10:20,918
>> Early: THEN YOU STEP ASIDE
442
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,500
AND LET ME DO THE ONE AND ONLY
443
00:10:22,584 --> 00:10:24,167
THING THAT MAKES THIS LIFE WORTH
444
00:10:24,250 --> 00:10:24,626
LIVING!
>> Sheriff: UH, WAIT.
445
00:10:25,709 --> 00:10:26,792
YOU STILL GOT THAT FAULTY
446
00:10:26,876 --> 00:10:27,584
IGNITION SWITCH.
447
00:10:27,667 --> 00:10:29,292
>> Early: IT'S AN AMERICAN-MADE
448
00:10:29,375 --> 00:10:30,626
FAULTY IGNITION SWITCH.
449
00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,792
UNITED WE STAND!
450
00:11:05,209 --> 00:11:09,751
>> MADE IN GEORGIA.
28663
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.