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[ STATIC ]
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[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> ♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD AND
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BURIED ♪
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♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN WOULD
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JUST EXPLODE ♪
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♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME TO
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HIS KINGDOM ♪
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♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF
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BITCHES WHEN I GO ♪
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♪ WHEN I BLOW ♪
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>> Rusty: MY TURN.
>> Early: HELL NO.
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>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT
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THING!
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>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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[ SIREN WAILS ]
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[ TIRES SCREECH ]
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>> Sheriff: BOYD, YOU ALL RIGHT?
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WHERE'S HE AT?
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SHOW YOURSELF, EARLY!
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>> EARLY AIN'T HERE, SHERIFF.
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HE AIN'T ROBBED ME IN WEEKS.
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STARTIN' TO THINK I MIGHT'VE DID
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SOMETHING TO HURT HIS FEELINGS.
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>> Sheriff: THEN WHY IN THE HELL
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DID YOU CALL 911, BOYD?
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>> JUST LONELY, I GUESS. UH...
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HOW'S IT GOING?
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>> Sheriff: ACTUALLY BEEN PRETTY
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CHILL THE LAST COUPLE WEEKS.
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YOU KNOW, MAYBE EARLY'S ON A
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SABBATICAL OR SOMETHING.
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HELL, YOU KNOW, ARMED ROBBERY
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CAN BE A GRIND, TOO, IF YOU DO
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IT EVERY DAY.
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>> I DON'T KNOW, SHERIFF.
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I'M STARTIN' TO GET WORRIED
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ABOUT THE GUY.
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>> Sheriff: WELL, ENJOY THE
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SILENCE.
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I'M SURE HE'LL HAVE THAT SHOTGUN
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STUCK IN YOUR MOUTH AGAIN BEFORE
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YOU CAN SAY THE WORD "HELP."
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>> WELL, YOU GOT ALL THIS FREE
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TIME.
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HOW 'BOUT YOU GO VISIT YOUR MAMA
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AT THAT FORMALDEHYDE-SOAKED
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HELLHOLE YOU DUMPED HER IN?
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>> Sheriff: OH, DENNY.
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I LOVE MAMA DEARLY.
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I RESPECT HER TOO MUCH, THOUGH,
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TO SPEND TIME WITH HER AND LET
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HER SEE ME BEING BORED BY ALL
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THAT, THOUGH.
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I DON'T LIKE THE FOOD OVER
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THERE, NEITHER.
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THEY'RE ALWAYS TRYING TO GET ME
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TO EAT WITH HER, AND THAT'S,
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WELL, JUST GROSS.
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BUT WHOO-WHEE, I'M TELLIN' YOU
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[CLEARS THROAT] I SURE HAVE GOT
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A HANKERIN' FOR ONE OF THEM BIG
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COOKIES OVER THERE, BOYD.
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HINT, HINT.
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[ DOOR OPENS ]
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>> Sheriff: KNOCK, KNOCK, Y'ALL.
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>> Granny: THERE AIN'T NOBODY
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HERE DRUNK OR WAILING ON US,
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SHERIFF, SO YOU CAN JUST TURN
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AROUND AND GET THE HELL OFF THE
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PROPERTY.
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>> Sheriff: HEY, NOW, THIS IS
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JUST A SOCIAL CALL.
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SO, UH, I AIN'T SEEN EARLY IN A
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WHILE.
Y'ALL DOING ALL RIGHT?
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>> Rusty: HELL, YEAH!
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MY RELATIONSHIP WITH DADDY HAS
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REALLY BLOSSOMED SINCE DADDY
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DON'T COME 'ROUND HERE NO MORE.
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>> Granny: YEAH, HE'S LIVIN'
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DOWN AT THAT PISS-SOAKED OLD
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FOLKS HOME WITH HIS NEW WIFE.
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>> Sheriff: EASY NOW, GRANNY.
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MY MAMA LIVES DOWN THERE, YOU
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KNOW.
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>> Granny: YEAH, WE KNOW.
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THAT'S HIS NEW WIFE.
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>> Sheriff: WHAT?
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>> Rusty: MY DADDY MARRIED YOUR
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MAMA.
>> Sheriff: WHAT?
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>> Granny: THE BOY IS DUMB, BUT
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HE DON'T STUTTER.
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>> Rusty: MY DADDY MARRIED YOUR
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MAMA.
CHECK IT OUT, BROTHER.
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[ DOOR OPENS ]
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[ SIREN WAILING ]
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[ TIRES SCREECH ]
>> Rusty: COOKIE!
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>> Granny: COOKIE IS MINE!
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>> Rusty: GIVE ME THAT COOKIE!
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[ DOG BARKING ]
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>> Early: SO, UH, WHAT DO YOU
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LIKE TO DO?
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UH, I LIKE TO WATCH ME A LITTLE
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BIT OF TELEVISION SET.
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>> Sheriff: EARLY!
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>> Early: OH, HEY, SON.
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YOU HEAR THE GOOD NEWS?
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>> Sheriff: I AM NOT YOUR SON,
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EARLY.
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>> Early: THAT'S RIGHT.
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JUST CALL ME "EARLY."
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I KNOW THIS'S GONNA BE WEIRD FOR
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YOU.
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>> Sheriff: MAMA, YOU DIDN'T
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CHANGE THE WILL OR -- OR GIVE
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HIM YOUR PIN NUMBERS OR ANY
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DEBIT-CARD INFORMATION OR
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ANYTHING, DID YOU?
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>> Early: OH, RELAX, SHERIFF.
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SHE CAN AFFORD A BOY TOY.
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YOUR DADDY LEFT US IN GREAT
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SHAPE.
>> Sheriff: "US"?
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NO, THIS AIN'T HAPPENING.
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>> Early: LISTEN, YOUR MAMA AND
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I TALKED, AND WE THINK IT'S BEST
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THAT YOU DON'T TRY TO TWIST HER
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HEAD AGAINST ME.
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IF SHE COULD SPEAK, SHE WOULD
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SAY SHE LOVES ME AND SHE'S
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COMMITTED TO THIS RELATIONSHIP
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AND THAT I SHOULD HAVE POWER OF
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ATTORNEY.
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>> Sheriff: MAMA, I-IS IT TRUE?
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DID YOU REALLY MARRY THIS GREEN
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SACK OF...DOO-DOO?
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>> Early: YOUR WORDS IS LIKE
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KNIVES, SHERIFF, TEARING THIS
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FAMILY APART, TRYING TO POISON
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HER AGAINST ME.
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CAN'T YOU JUST LET US BE HAPPY?
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>> Sheriff: EARLY, I'M GONNA
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HAVE TO ASK YOU TO LEAVE.
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>> Early: I AIN'T GOIN' NOWHERE.
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THIS IS OUR ROOM NOW.
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AND THIS IS AS MUCH MY MORPHINE
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DRIP AS IT IS HERS.
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MARITAL PROPERTY.
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[ GULPS ] AHH!
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WORK INJURY.
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>> Sheriff: IS THIS REALLY WHAT
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YOU WANT, MAMA?
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TAP THE WALL ONCE FOR "YES" AND
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TWICE FOR "NO."
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>> SHE ONLY TALKS BY BLINKING,
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SHERIFF.
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DO YOU REALLY NOT KNOW THAT?
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>> Sheriff: WELL, WHAT THE
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HELL'S SHE TRYING TO SAY, DENNY?
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>> SHE'S SAYING SHE'S NEVER FELT
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SO ALIVE.
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OR MAYBE SHE'S SAYING SHE'S
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NEVER FEARED MORE FOR HER LIFE.
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IT'S HARD TO TELL.
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THE MASCARA MAKES THE LIDS
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STICK.
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>> Early: YOU AIN'T GOT TO
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ANSWER HIM, CORDELIA, HONEY.
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DON'T YOU BLINK A DAMN WORD.
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>> Sheriff: WELL, MAYBE YOU
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WANNA EXPLAIN IT TO THE JUDGE,
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THEN, FARTKNOCKER!
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>> Early: DON'T YOU DARE TALK TO
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YOUR DADDY THAT WAY.
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[ DOOR SLAMS ]
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THE MOUTH ON YOU!
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[ GAVEL BANGING ]
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>> SO, REVEREND, YOU PERFORMED A
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MARRIAGE CEREMONY BETWEEN THIS
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THRICE-CONVICTED FELON AND THIS
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UNRESPONSIVE, ELDERLY WOMAN IN
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THE TANK OVER THERE?
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>> OH, YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT.
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THEY PAID CASH, TOO, UP FRONT --
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RARE WHEAT PENNIES.
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>> Sheriff: MY DADDY'S WHEAT
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PENNIES!
NO!
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>> WELL, THIS MARRIAGE LICENSE
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IS VALID, SO I'M GONNA DENY YOUR
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UNUSUAL REQUEST FOR A
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THIRD-PARTY ANNULMENT.
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>> Sheriff: BUT I DON'T WANT IT!
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>> Early: AND WE GONNA NEED
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COURT COSTS HERE, TOO, JUDGE.
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THIS CAN'T BE COMING OUT OF OUR
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NEST EGG.
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>> Sheriff: THAT'S MY
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INHERITANCE.
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LOOK AT HIS FACE, JUDGE.
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HELL, HE JUST GOT BOTOX.
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>> Early: OH, HERE WE GO NOW.
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TYPICAL OF THE YOUNG, ENVYING
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THE OLD FOR THE BEAUTIFUL
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PLASTIC SURGERY THEY CAN NOW
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HAVE AND AFFORD.
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>> Sheriff: I'M GONNA NAIL YOU
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TO THE WALL, CUYLER.
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>> Early: LISTEN TO THE ANGER.
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HE'S JUST MAD 'CAUSE HE AIN'T
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GOT NOBODY SPECIAL IN HIS LIFE
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LIKE YOU GOT.
COME HERE AND GIVE YOUR SWEET
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DADDY SOME SUGAR, DARLIN'.
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>> Sheriff: I'M GONNA KILL HIM!
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>> DON'T DO IT!
>> Sheriff: LET ME GO, DENNY!
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>> NOT THIS WAY!
>> Sheriff: LET ME HAVE HIM!
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>> WE'LL DO IT ANOTHER WAY!
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>> Sheriff: I'M GONNA KILL HIM!
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>> Early: COME ON, DARLIN'.
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>> Sheriff: LET ME GO, DAMN IT!
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>> Early: LET'S ME AND YOU HEAD
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BACK TO YOUR PLACE AND RESUME
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OUR OVERLY ACTIVE SEX LIFE.
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THE LOVIN' IS GOOD!
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>> Sheriff: LET ME AT HIM!
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FART-BUTT STUPID!
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PEE-PEE HEAD! DOODY BUTT!
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PARDON MY FRENCH, DENNY, BUT THE
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WORDS MATCH THE MOOD TONIGHT.
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>> WELL, YOU KEEP ATTACKING HIM
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LIKE THIS, YOU'RE ONLY GONNA
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DRIVE THEM CLOSER TOGETHER.
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>> Sheriff: WELL, WHAT THE
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FLIPPING FART POOP DO YOU
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SUGGEST?
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>> IT'S BEAUTIFUL.
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>> Sheriff: I HAD TO SINK TWO
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MONTHS WORTH OF SALARY TO PAY
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FOR THIS RING, BUT IT'S GONNA BE
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WORTH IT TO SEE THE LOOK ON
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EARLY'S FACE, BUDDY.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
[ DOOR CREAKS ]
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HEY, GRANNY, I'M HERE TO ASK IF
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YOU'LL TAKE MY HAND IN MARRIAGE?
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>> Early: WELL, CONGRATULATIONS,
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SHERIFF.
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>> Sheriff: [ CHUCKLES ]
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SEEMS LIKE THE SHOE'S ON THE
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OTHER FOOT, NOW, DON'T IT,
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EARLY?
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>> Granny: HMM.
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PRETTY SMALL ROCK, MILKY IN
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COLOR.
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I'M DETECTING A LOT OF
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FRACTURING HERE.
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>> Early: [ CHUCKLES ]
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I GUESS YOU'LL BE MOVING IN
256
00:05:56,500 --> 00:05:57,209
HERE, THEN.
257
00:05:57,292 --> 00:05:59,000
>> Sheriff: UH, YEAH, I HADN'T
258
00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:00,876
THOUGHT ABOUT IT A LOT, BUT I-I
259
00:06:00,959 --> 00:06:03,000
GUESS THAT'S WHAT WOULD, UM,
260
00:06:03,083 --> 00:06:03,792
HAVE TO HAPPEN.
261
00:06:03,876 --> 00:06:05,209
>> Early: GOOD, 'CAUSE YOUR MAMA
262
00:06:05,292 --> 00:06:06,667
AND ME TALKED, AND WE GONNA MOVE
263
00:06:06,751 --> 00:06:07,417
IN YOUR HOUSE.
264
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:09,042
WE GOTTA HAVE SOME MORE SPACE SO
265
00:06:09,125 --> 00:06:09,834
I CAN START MY
266
00:06:09,918 --> 00:06:11,334
"ENTAY-PER-NEUTRAL" BUSINESS.
267
00:06:11,417 --> 00:06:13,375
>> Sheriff: WELL, UH, TONIGHT I
268
00:06:13,459 --> 00:06:15,167
MAY JUST HAVE SEX WITH YOUR
269
00:06:15,250 --> 00:06:17,918
GRANNY...RIGHT IN THE -- IN THAT
270
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,125
AREA WHERE YOU COME OUT OF.
271
00:06:19,209 --> 00:06:20,500
>> Early: I'LL POINT IT OUT FOR
272
00:06:20,584 --> 00:06:21,542
YOU, IF YOU WANT ME TO.
273
00:06:21,626 --> 00:06:22,876
I MEAN, I'LL BE WORKING CAMERA
274
00:06:22,959 --> 00:06:23,209
TWO.
275
00:06:23,292 --> 00:06:24,542
>> Granny: YEAH, WE FILM
276
00:06:24,626 --> 00:06:25,250
EVERYTHING.
277
00:06:25,334 --> 00:06:26,626
I have a terrible memory.
278
00:06:26,709 --> 00:06:28,209
>> Sheriff: WELL, DOES IT BUG
279
00:06:28,292 --> 00:06:29,834
YOU THAT HALF OF EVERYTHING SHE
280
00:06:29,918 --> 00:06:31,209
OWNS IS GONNA BE MINE NOW?
281
00:06:31,292 --> 00:06:32,667
[ CHUCKLES ] I BET IT DOES.
282
00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:34,250
>> Early: WELL, KNOCK YOURSELF
283
00:06:34,334 --> 00:06:34,584
OUT.
284
00:06:34,667 --> 00:06:35,918
I MEAN, SHE AIN'T GOT A DAMN POT
285
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:36,500
TO PISS IN.
286
00:06:36,584 --> 00:06:37,834
>> Sheriff: WELL, HALF THAT PISS
287
00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:38,751
POT'S GONNA BE MINE.
288
00:06:38,834 --> 00:06:40,000
>> Early: I SAID SHE AIN'T GOT
289
00:06:40,083 --> 00:06:40,626
ONE OF THEM.
290
00:06:40,709 --> 00:06:42,292
>> Sheriff: WELL -- WELL, OKAY.
291
00:06:42,375 --> 00:06:43,667
THEN WHAT DOES SHE HAVE?
292
00:06:43,751 --> 00:06:45,751
>> Early: UH, WELL, SHE GOT THEM
293
00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:47,709
RAIN-SOAKED TV GUIDES AND THE
294
00:06:47,792 --> 00:06:48,667
CAT CARCASS.
295
00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:51,125
IT'S A MODEST DOWRY.
296
00:06:51,209 --> 00:06:53,167
>> Granny: OH, SHERIFF, I CAN'T
297
00:06:53,250 --> 00:06:54,042
MARRY YOU.
298
00:06:54,125 --> 00:06:55,209
YOU'RE A LOSER.
299
00:06:55,292 --> 00:06:57,292
TWO MONTHS SALARY, AND THIS IS
300
00:06:57,375 --> 00:06:58,876
ALL YOU COULD AFFORD?
301
00:06:58,959 --> 00:07:00,626
A LITTLE SIMPLE MATH SHOWS ME I
302
00:07:00,709 --> 00:07:02,334
AIN'T GONNA BE LIVING MUCH MORE
303
00:07:02,417 --> 00:07:03,834
COMFORTABLY THAN I AM NOW.
304
00:07:03,918 --> 00:07:05,626
>> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ] FINE.
305
00:07:05,709 --> 00:07:07,584
I-I THINK WE RUSHED INTO THIS,
306
00:07:07,667 --> 00:07:08,334
ANYWAYS.
LET ME JUST GET THE, UH --
307
00:07:09,417 --> 00:07:10,083
>> Granny: AH, AH.
308
00:07:10,167 --> 00:07:12,334
THAT WAS A GIFT.
309
00:07:12,417 --> 00:07:13,000
[ CAR DOOR SLAMS ]
310
00:07:13,083 --> 00:07:14,167
>> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ]
311
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:15,542
NEVER MARRY ANYBODY OUT OF
312
00:07:15,626 --> 00:07:16,459
REVENGE, DENNY.
313
00:07:16,542 --> 00:07:17,918
IT JUST NEVER WORKS.
314
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,083
>> I THINK YOU JUST NEED TO CALM
315
00:07:20,167 --> 00:07:22,250
DOWN AND THINK OF A WAY YOU CAN
316
00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:24,083
KILL THIS SON OF A BITCH.
317
00:07:24,167 --> 00:07:25,584
MAKE IT LOOK LIKE AN ACCIDENT.
318
00:07:25,667 --> 00:07:26,709
>> Sheriff: NO, DENNY.
319
00:07:26,792 --> 00:07:28,250
IT'S TIME I STOPPED BEING AN
320
00:07:28,334 --> 00:07:29,792
OBSTACLE TO THEIR HAPPINESS.
321
00:07:29,876 --> 00:07:31,876
I NEED TO FIND A WAY TO CONNECT
322
00:07:31,959 --> 00:07:34,792
WITH...DAD.
323
00:07:34,876 --> 00:07:37,125
OH, GOD.
324
00:07:37,209 --> 00:07:38,626
>> Early: HELL, I DON'T KNOW WHY
325
00:07:38,709 --> 00:07:40,000
THEY WANNA MAKE YOU GET A NEW
326
00:07:40,083 --> 00:07:40,375
HIP.
327
00:07:40,459 --> 00:07:41,876
THESE OLD ONES OPEN AND CLOSE
328
00:07:41,959 --> 00:07:42,500
JUST FINE.
>> [ GIGGLES ]
329
00:07:43,417 --> 00:07:44,292
>> HA HA!
[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]
330
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000
>> Sheriff: KNOCK, KNOCK.
331
00:07:46,083 --> 00:07:47,125
>> Early: WE BUSY RIGHT NOW.
332
00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:48,334
JUST PUT THE PIZZA PIE ON THAT
333
00:07:48,417 --> 00:07:49,417
TANK WITH THE WOMAN IN IT.
334
00:07:49,500 --> 00:07:50,417
SHE'LL PAY YOU.
335
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:53,334
OOH, DARLIN'. [ SMOOCHING ]
336
00:07:53,417 --> 00:07:54,792
>> Sheriff: OH, HEY, DORIS.
337
00:07:54,876 --> 00:07:56,334
YOU HERE, UH, TO VISIT MAMA?
338
00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:57,542
>> Early: OH, HEY, SON.
339
00:07:57,626 --> 00:07:58,959
HEY, I'M WRAPPING IT UP OVER
340
00:07:59,042 --> 00:07:59,626
HERE, OKAY?
HAVE A SEAT.
341
00:08:00,417 --> 00:08:01,417
WE GOT PIZZA COMIN'.
342
00:08:01,500 --> 00:08:02,918
>> Sheriff: SO, UH [CLEARS
343
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,459
THROAT] EARLY, WHAT WERE YOU
344
00:08:04,542 --> 00:08:05,959
DOING IN THERE WITH DORIS?
345
00:08:06,042 --> 00:08:07,918
>> Early: LISTEN, YOUR MAMA AND
346
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,751
I TALKED, AND WE DECIDED THAT
347
00:08:09,834 --> 00:08:11,375
IT'S BEST WE HAVE AN OPEN
348
00:08:11,459 --> 00:08:13,042
RELATIONSHIP WITH MULTIPLE
349
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:13,792
PARTNERS.
350
00:08:13,876 --> 00:08:15,584
FETCH!
351
00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:16,834
>> Sheriff: NO, NO, I-I SAID
352
00:08:16,918 --> 00:08:17,667
WE'D PLAY CATCH.
353
00:08:17,751 --> 00:08:18,876
>> Early: THAT AIN'T WHAT I
354
00:08:18,959 --> 00:08:19,250
SAID.
355
00:08:19,334 --> 00:08:21,083
NOW GO ON. FETCH THE DAMN BALL!
356
00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,709
YOU WANT ME TO LOVE YOU, DON'T
357
00:08:22,792 --> 00:08:23,125
YOU?
358
00:08:23,209 --> 00:08:24,542
>> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ] YES.
359
00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:26,083
>> Early: ATTABOY.
360
00:08:26,167 --> 00:08:27,417
>> Sheriff: HEY, UH, I-I NOTICE
361
00:08:27,500 --> 00:08:28,751
MAMA AIN'T WEARING HER WEDDING
362
00:08:28,834 --> 00:08:29,125
RING.
363
00:08:29,209 --> 00:08:30,667
>> Early: WELL, YOUR MAMA AND ME
364
00:08:30,751 --> 00:08:32,125
TALKED, AND WE DECIDED IT'D BE
365
00:08:32,209 --> 00:08:33,584
BEST TO TRADE THAT RING IN TO
366
00:08:33,667 --> 00:08:35,125
THE PAWN SHOP FOR THESE SLIGHTLY
367
00:08:35,209 --> 00:08:36,000
USED GOLF CLUBS.
FETCH!
368
00:08:36,667 --> 00:08:38,375
>> Sheriff: MY MAMA AIN'T BEEN
369
00:08:38,459 --> 00:08:39,876
ABLE TO TALK ABOUT ANYTHING FOR
370
00:08:39,959 --> 00:08:40,918
DAMN NEAR TWO YEARS.
371
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,250
>> Early: AW, SHE'S JUST SHY
372
00:08:42,334 --> 00:08:43,667
AROUND PEOPLE SHE DON'T LIKE.
373
00:08:43,751 --> 00:08:44,751
SHE'S A CHATTERBOX WITH ME.
374
00:08:44,834 --> 00:08:45,792
>> Sheriff: WHY EVEN BOTHER
375
00:08:45,876 --> 00:08:47,167
KEEPING HER ALIVE SINCE ALL
376
00:08:47,250 --> 00:08:48,792
YOU'RE DOING IS MILKING HER DRY?
377
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,584
>> Early: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, NOW!
378
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:52,250
HO. YOU OUT OF LINE HERE, SON.
379
00:08:52,334 --> 00:08:53,626
IF SHE DIES, THEY'RE GONNA STOP
380
00:08:53,709 --> 00:08:54,918
SENDING THAT SOCIAL SECURITY
381
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:55,542
MONEY CHECK.
382
00:08:55,626 --> 00:08:56,918
AND I ONLY GOT ONE WEDGE HERE.
383
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,334
HELL, THEY'RE GONNA LAUGH ME OFF
384
00:08:58,417 --> 00:08:59,125
THE DAMN COURSE.
>> Sheriff: UGH!
385
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:01,167
>> HEY, WHERE YOU GOING?
386
00:09:01,250 --> 00:09:02,918
I THROWED THE BALL OVER THERE!
387
00:09:03,042 --> 00:09:04,709
>> Sheriff: I'M GONNA KILL THAT
388
00:09:04,792 --> 00:09:05,876
SON OF A FART-POOP.
389
00:09:05,959 --> 00:09:06,375
AH!
390
00:09:06,459 --> 00:09:08,042
>> SHERIFF, YOU GOT TO CALM
391
00:09:08,125 --> 00:09:08,584
DOWN.
392
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:10,292
WE'LL GET THIS STRAIGHTENED OUT.
393
00:09:10,375 --> 00:09:11,918
I GOT ME A PLAN TO FINISH THIS
394
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,209
THING ONCE AND FOR ALL.
395
00:09:13,292 --> 00:09:14,918
>> Sheriff: WAKE UP, EARLY.
396
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:15,709
>> WHAT? HUH?
397
00:09:15,792 --> 00:09:17,167
>> Sheriff: WHERE'S MY MAMA?
398
00:09:17,250 --> 00:09:17,876
SHE'S GONE.
399
00:09:17,959 --> 00:09:19,542
SHE'S, UH, DONE RUN OFF.
400
00:09:19,626 --> 00:09:21,500
AND -- AND LOOK. WHAT'S THIS?
401
00:09:21,584 --> 00:09:22,459
A LETTER?
402
00:09:22,542 --> 00:09:24,250
THIS MAY BE FROM MAMA.
403
00:09:24,334 --> 00:09:25,542
LET'S READ IT.
404
00:09:25,626 --> 00:09:28,042
"DEAR SON, I HAVE RUN OFF FOR MY
405
00:09:28,125 --> 00:09:29,125
OWN SAFETY.
406
00:09:29,209 --> 00:09:31,209
MY FART-POOP HUSBAND IS MEAN TO
407
00:09:31,292 --> 00:09:33,292
ME, AND YOU TELL THAT SON OF A
408
00:09:33,375 --> 00:09:35,209
STINK-BUTT THAT I DON'T LOVE
409
00:09:35,292 --> 00:09:35,709
HIM.
410
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:36,834
"SIGNED, MAMA."
411
00:09:36,918 --> 00:09:37,667
>> Early: OH, YEAH?
412
00:09:37,751 --> 00:09:38,918
WELL, I GOT ME A NOTE, TOO, AND
413
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,042
IT SAYS, "DEAREST EARLY, MY
414
00:09:40,125 --> 00:09:40,626
DARLING --"
415
00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:41,876
>> Sheriff: OH, YOU AIN'T GOT A
416
00:09:41,959 --> 00:09:42,250
NOTE.
417
00:09:42,334 --> 00:09:43,459
I'M THE ONE THAT HAS THE NOTE.
418
00:09:43,542 --> 00:09:44,667
>> Early: YUH-HUH, I GOT ME A
419
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:45,042
NOTE.
420
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:46,250
>> Sheriff: WHAT'S IT WRITTEN
421
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:46,584
ON?
422
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:47,709
>> Early: I'M REMEMBERING IT
423
00:09:47,792 --> 00:09:48,292
FROM MEMORY.
424
00:09:48,375 --> 00:09:49,584
SHE WRITES, "TELL THAT
425
00:09:49,667 --> 00:09:51,209
FAT-HEADED SON TO DON'T NEVER
426
00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:53,751
MEDDLE IN MY AFFAIRS AGAIN."
427
00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:54,834
>> Sheriff: DID SHE REALLY SAY
428
00:09:54,918 --> 00:09:55,751
THAT ABOUT ME?
429
00:09:55,834 --> 00:09:57,500
>> Early: IT GOES ON -- "PLEASE
430
00:09:57,584 --> 00:09:59,250
TAKE EVERYTHING I'VE LEFT BEHIND
431
00:09:59,334 --> 00:10:01,000
AND ENJOY A CAREFREE LIFESTYLE,
432
00:10:01,083 --> 00:10:01,709
DEAREST EARLY."
433
00:10:01,792 --> 00:10:02,918
>> Sheriff: SHE WOULDN'T SAY
434
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:03,292
THAT.
435
00:10:03,375 --> 00:10:04,626
>> Early: SHE WOULD AND SHE DID!
436
00:10:04,709 --> 00:10:05,709
>> Sheriff: OH, YEAH?
437
00:10:05,792 --> 00:10:07,167
WELL, WE'LL JUST FIND OUT RIGHT
438
00:10:07,250 --> 00:10:08,626
NOW 'CAUSE SHE'S RIGHT DOWN THE
439
00:10:08,709 --> 00:10:10,000
HALL, STUFFED IN THE UTILITY
440
00:10:10,083 --> 00:10:10,500
CLOSET.
441
00:10:10,584 --> 00:10:12,000
>> Early: SO SHE DIDN'T RUN OFF!
442
00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,834
>> Sheriff: WAIT. SHE DIDN'T?
443
00:10:13,918 --> 00:10:15,584
I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE DID.
444
00:10:15,667 --> 00:10:17,083
>> Early: WAIT. WHAT'D YOU SAY?
445
00:10:17,167 --> 00:10:18,250
>> Sheriff: WELL, UH...
446
00:10:18,334 --> 00:10:19,792
>> Early: LET ME CHECK THE NOTE.
447
00:10:19,876 --> 00:10:21,083
WHERE'S MY NOTE?
448
00:10:21,167 --> 00:10:22,083
>> Sheriff: MAMA?
449
00:10:22,167 --> 00:10:23,667
>> Early: CORDELIA? HONEY BABY?
450
00:10:23,751 --> 00:10:25,292
>> Sheriff: I'LL BE DAMNED.
451
00:10:25,375 --> 00:10:27,751
SHE'S GONE.
452
00:10:27,834 --> 00:10:29,709
SO, I-I GUESS YOUR LETTER WAS
453
00:10:29,792 --> 00:10:30,959
RIGHT, AFTER ALL.
454
00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:32,167
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
455
00:10:32,250 --> 00:10:33,709
>> I WISH WE COULD GO PUBLIC
456
00:10:33,792 --> 00:10:35,459
WITH OUR LOVE, BUT I DON'T THINK
457
00:10:35,542 --> 00:10:36,834
MY BOSS COULD HANDLE IT.
458
00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:39,000
HE'S A PETTY LITTLE MAN.
459
00:10:40,250 --> 00:10:43,000
IT IS IRON..IC THAT YOUR LUNGS
460
00:10:43,083 --> 00:10:45,167
WORK WHEN YOU'RE WITH ME.
461
00:10:46,626 --> 00:10:48,459
YEAH, I CAN BREATHE EASY, TOO,
462
00:10:48,542 --> 00:10:50,876
UP HERE, AWAY FROM IT ALL.
463
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,500
I WAS GONNA SAY LEAN BACK AND
464
00:10:54,584 --> 00:10:56,000
JUST RELAX, BUT YOU CAN LEAN
465
00:10:56,083 --> 00:11:01,125
FORWARD, TOO.
466
00:11:01,209 --> 00:11:06,584
AND JUST ENJOY THE SILENCE.
467
00:11:06,667 --> 00:11:08,167
YOU GOT YOUR HAIR IN AN ANT PILE
468
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:08,834
OVER THERE.
469
00:11:08,918 --> 00:11:12,792
LET'S -- LET'S MOVE THAT.
470
00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:13,918
ABAMBULANCE?
471
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:16,375
WHAT'S AN ABAMBULANCE?
472
00:11:16,459 --> 00:11:19,584
OH, "AMBULANCE."
473
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,292
>> Granny: THIS [BLEEP] WAS MADE
474
00:11:21,375 --> 00:11:22,334
IN GEORGIA, Y'ALL!
475
00:11:22,417 --> 00:11:24,375
NOW GET YOU SOME!
30440
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