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[ STATIC ]
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>> ♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD AND
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BURIED ♪
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♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN WOULD
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JUST EXPLODE ♪
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♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME TO
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HIS KINGDOM ♪
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♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF
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BITCHES ♪
>> Rusty: MY TURN.
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>> ♪ WHEN I GO ♪
>> Early: HELL NO.
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>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT
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THING!
COME ON!
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>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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[ ANIMALS CALLING ]
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>> Rusty: DADDY, WHY DO WE GOT
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TO DO THIS?
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>> Early: WINTER'S A-COMIN'.
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IF WE DON'T HUNT, WE DON'T EAT.
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NOW, EVERYBODY, DON YOUR CAMO.
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NOW LET'S DO THIS!
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[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
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ALL RIGHT, HERE WE ARE.
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Y'ALL SLATHER ME DOWN WITH THE
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SCENT.
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>> Granny: [ GULPS ]
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OH.
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SO, THIS WASN'T OUR LUNCH?
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>> Early: DAMN IT, WE NEED THAT
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SAUCE TO HUNT!
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HOW YOU EXPECT US TO SNEAK UP ON
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A WHOLE FIELD FULL O' APPLES IF
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WE DON'T SMELL LIKE 'EM?
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>> Granny: NOW, WHICH ONES ARE
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THE APPLES?
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ARE THEM THEM RED ONES THAT
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NAKED BITCH ATE IN THE GARDEN
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AND RUINED IT FOR THE REST OF
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US?
>> Early: SHH! SHH!
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SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH NOW!
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GIMME A BOOST.
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>> APPLES, APPLES, APPLES!
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THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS!
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FEAST YOUR EYES ON THE WONDER OF
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A FRUIT THAT HANGS FROM A BRANCH
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AND DOESN'T DO MUCH FOR MANY
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MONTHS AT A TIME!
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[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]
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>> Early: [ GRUNTING ]
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>> WHAT THE HELL?
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>> Rusty: DADDY, APPLE TOUR!
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>> Early: AH, HELL.
FREEZE!
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[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
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DON'T MOVE.
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>> Granny: OH!
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[ MOANING ]
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NO, NO, I CAN'T TAKE IT!
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WE'RE MADE!
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>> Rusty: GRANNY, NO!
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[ STATIC ]
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>> CODE RED -- THREE WORMS IN
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SECTOR SIX.
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>> Granny: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
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>> WELL, I'LL BE!
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THIS ONE HERE MOVES LIKE SHE'S
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ON GREASED RAILS!
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>> Early: MOVE VERY SLOWLY.
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OVER MANY MONTHS.
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JUST LIKE A TREE.
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>> Sheriff: ALL RIGHT, Y'ALL,
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DROP THE POMACEOUS FRUITS AND
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GET DOWN ON THE GROUND!
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>> Early: DAMN IT!
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[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
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>> I AIN'T GONNA PRESS CHARGES,
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SHERIFF, NOT IF THEY'RE WILLING
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TO HELP ME OUT AT MY FALL FAIR.
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>> Early: OH, YOU WANT ME TO BE
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THE EMCEE -- STEP UP AND RUN
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THIS WHOLE THING?!
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>> OH, YOU'LL BE RUNNIN'.
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>> Granny: AAH!
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>> RUNNIN' QUITE A BIT, YES,
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SIR.
[ PIGS SNORTING ]
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>> Early: WHAT THE H-- RACIN'
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PIGS?!
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>>
SWEET!
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NOW, WHO'S READY TO SEE THEM
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SOME PIG RACIN'?!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ PIG SNORTS ]
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>> Early: I AIN'T RACIN' AROUND
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A DAMN DIRT CIRCLE LIKE SOME
DAMN FOOL WITH --
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[ GUNSHOT ]
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RABBIT! RABBIT!
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[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]
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>> Granny: OHH!
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>> Early: I WANT THE RABBIT!
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>> Rusty: WHOO-HOO! IMMA WIN!
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>> Early: DON'T YOU DARE WIN!
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[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
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I NEED TO WIN!
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>> Rusty: ALL RIGHT THEN.
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>> Early: EARLY CUYLER
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[BREATHES HEAVILY] BABY!
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>> Granny: GET THAT RABBIT
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QUICK!
GET IT, GET IT, GET IT!
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>> Early: W-WHAT?!
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>> Granny: GET THAT RABBIT!
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>> Early: NOOO!
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>> Granny: WAIT, WHERE'D IT GO?
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>> AND THE WINNER -- THE SMALL,
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UH, GIRL ONE.
>> Granny: YAY!
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>> BEST GUESS.
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THAT'S A WOMAN, RIGHT?
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>> Granny: I GUESS THE RABBIT
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WENT BACK IN THE HOLE!
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[ GASPS ]
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SIX MORE WEEKS OF SUMMER!
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>> Rusty: DANG, GRANNY, WHERE'D
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YOU LEARN TO RUN LIKE THAT?
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>> Granny: OH, THE SPIRIT JUST
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COME OVER ME, I RECKON.
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ALSO, I WAS BEING CHASED BY
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IMAGINARY MIND BEES.
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>> Rusty: DID YOU SEE THAT,
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DADDY?
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SHE BLEW RIGHT PAST YOU.
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>> Early: WHAT I SEEN WAS THIS
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HERE CHEST LUMP WITH GLASSES
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ROBBING ME OF MY FIRST-PLACE
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FINISH!
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I DIDN'T HAVE NO IMAGINARY BEES
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TO RUN WITH!
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>> LISTEN TO THAT CROWD!
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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THEY'RE REALLY TAKING TO
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GRANNY HOTFOOT HERE!
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>> Early: GRANNY HOTFOOT?!
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>> HA, I DON'T KNOW IF Y'ALL
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HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO COMPETE
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WITH THIS LITTLE OCTOGENARIAN.
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>> Granny: YAY!
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>> Early: LISTEN HERE,
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EARLY CUYLER DON'T RACE FOR NO
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MAN -- UNLESS HIS PRIDE IS
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QUESTIONED AND HIS RAGE CLOUDS
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HIS ABILITY TO SEE HIS BEST
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INTERESTS!
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SO HE WANT HISSELF A REMATCH,
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DAMN IT, RIGHT NOW!
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>> Granny: IF YOU WANT A PIECE
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OF THIS, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
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PICK UP THE PACE, ALICE.
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>> Early: DON'T YOU GET INSIDE
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MY HEAD!
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I'M THE ONE WHO MANIPULATES
MY
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MIND!
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>> PUT 'EM IN THE GATES!
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>> Rusty: YOU WANT ME TO DO LIKE
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I DONE BEFORE AND STOP BEFORE
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THE FINISH LINE?
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>> Early: YES, DAMN IT!
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>> Granny: THAT'D BE GREAT,
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DEAR.
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HOW'S THE WEATHER BACK THERE?!
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>> Early: YOU SEE THAT WALKER
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SHE'S GOT?!
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THAT'S AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE!
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[ GRUNTS ]
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>> Granny: ONE ORDER OF MY DUST
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COMIN' RIGHT UP!
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>> Early: OH, I CAN'T WIN NO
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RACE IN A DAMN WALKER!
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>> Granny: OH, ORSON, SHE'S
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BEAUTIFUL!
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WHO IS SHE NOW?
[ PIG SNORTING ]
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>> Early: YAH! YAH! GET IT ON!
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YEAH! WHOO!
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>> Granny: I'M JUST DOING THIS
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FOR FUN NOW!
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>> Early: S-SHE BUMPED ME!
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DID ANYBODY SEE THAT?!
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MY AERODYNAMIC HELMET WEIGHS A
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SUMBITCHIN' TON!
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>> Granny: YOU STILL HERE?
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[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
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HERE YOU GO, CHUBBY.
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YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD DROP OUT OF
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SCHOOL AND RACE PIGS.
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IT'S MUCH EASIER, AND YOU GET
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LAID A LOT.
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WHAT?!
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I'M AN ATHLETE, NOT A ROLE
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MODEL!
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[ PIGS SNORTING ]
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[ BOTH SNORTING, MUNCHING ]
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>> Granny: MMM, MMM!
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DELICIOUS!
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>> Early: HEY, THAT THERE IS
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PERFORMANCE-ENHANCING BURGER
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MEAT -- ESSENTIAL CHEESE
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VITAMINS!
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THAT BITCH IS DOPIN'!
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>> OOH, GRANNY HOTFOOT, LOOKS
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LIKE WE GOT US A WHISTLE-BLOWER
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HERE.
206
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>> Granny: THIS AIN'T NOTHING
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BUT A WITCH-HUNT.
208
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[ SLURPS ] THEY AFTER MY TITLE.
209
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:13,959
>> Early: WE AIN'T EATING
210
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NOTHIN' IN HERE EXCEPT APPLE
211
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CORES AND PIG SHIT!
212
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>> Rusty: DADDY, NOW, DON'T ROCK
213
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THE BOAT NOW.
THIS STUFF'S PRETTY GOOD.
214
00:05:18,876 --> 00:05:20,083
>> Early: I CALL FOR YOU TO FORM
215
00:05:20,167 --> 00:05:21,125
HAMBURGER AND TACO TESTIN'
216
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ACROSS THE BOARD!
217
00:05:21,959 --> 00:05:23,417
>> Granny: OKAY, THAT'S ENOUGH
218
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OF THIS, OPRAH.
219
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THIS INTERVIEW'S OVER.
220
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I'LL SEE YOUR ASS ON THE TRACK.
221
00:05:27,209 --> 00:05:28,751
>> Early: YOU SURE AS HELL WILL!
222
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>> Granny: I'LL SAY "HI" AS I
223
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BLOW YOUR DAMN DOORS OFF.
224
00:05:31,667 --> 00:05:33,417
>> Early: Y-YOU DON'T GET --
I-I
225
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GET THE DAMN LAST WORD, BITCH!
226
00:05:35,876 --> 00:05:37,042
AND THAT WAS IT, WHAT I JUST
227
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SAID!
228
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>> Granny: OH, YEAH, THAT'S
229
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GREAT.
>> OH, YEAH!
230
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>> Granny: MM, THAT'S DEEP!
231
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>> [ GRUNTS ]
232
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>> Granny:
SO DEEP!
233
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>> YEAH, YOU GOT CRAMPING AND
234
00:05:45,209 --> 00:05:46,918
TENSION ALL UP AND DOWN YOU LEGS
235
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:47,584
AND BACK.
236
00:05:47,667 --> 00:05:49,209
CAN'T SEEM TO WORK THIS KNOT
237
00:05:49,292 --> 00:05:49,626
OUT.
238
00:05:49,709 --> 00:05:51,334
>> Granny: OH, I WOULDN'T KILL
239
00:05:51,417 --> 00:05:52,709
YOURSELF ON THAT ONE.
240
00:05:52,792 --> 00:05:54,417
I THINK THAT'S A BRAIN TUMOR
241
00:05:54,500 --> 00:05:55,417
THAT MIGRATED.
242
00:05:55,500 --> 00:05:57,292
>> TICKET SALES ARE THROUGH THE
243
00:05:57,375 --> 00:05:59,918
ROOF, MY LITTLE PURPLE CHAMPION!
244
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:00,626
[ GRUNTS ]
245
00:06:00,709 --> 00:06:02,125
FOLKS ARE COMIN' FROM AS FAR
246
00:06:02,209 --> 00:06:04,167
AWAY AS ELLIJAY TO WATCH YOU RUN
247
00:06:04,250 --> 00:06:05,709
IN THE MUD AGAINST YOUR
248
00:06:05,792 --> 00:06:06,542
FIRSTBORN.
249
00:06:06,626 --> 00:06:08,584
>> Granny: IF HE WAS ANY SLOWER,
250
00:06:08,667 --> 00:06:09,751
HE'D BE GOIN' BACKWARDS!
251
00:06:09,834 --> 00:06:10,542
[ BOTH LAUGH ]
252
00:06:10,626 --> 00:06:11,584
>> Early: OOH, BITCH.
253
00:06:11,667 --> 00:06:13,083
>> Granny: YOU THINK I COULD GET
254
00:06:13,167 --> 00:06:14,876
A REFILL ON THIS APPLETINI,
255
00:06:14,959 --> 00:06:15,459
LOVE?
256
00:06:15,542 --> 00:06:16,834
>> OKAY, ALL RIGHT.
257
00:06:16,918 --> 00:06:17,667
[ SMACK! ]
258
00:06:17,751 --> 00:06:19,042
>> OH, QUIT! [ LAUGHS ]
259
00:06:19,125 --> 00:06:20,876
>> Granny: OH, I'VE BANGED GAYER
260
00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:21,876
DUDES THAN YOU.
261
00:06:21,959 --> 00:06:23,417
I'LL SET YOU STRAIGHT IN A
262
00:06:23,500 --> 00:06:24,500
FORTNIGHT, HONEY.
263
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:25,334
[ SIZZLING ]
OOH, THE HANDS!
264
00:06:26,167 --> 00:06:27,417
>> Early: YEAH, WE GONNA DO US
265
00:06:27,500 --> 00:06:28,542
SOME HOT-OIL THERAPY NOW.
266
00:06:28,626 --> 00:06:29,834
>> Granny: OH, THAT SOUNDS --
267
00:06:29,918 --> 00:06:30,459
WAIT, WHAT?!
268
00:06:30,542 --> 00:06:31,751
>> Early: AND A CHEMICAL FACE
269
00:06:31,834 --> 00:06:32,125
PEEL!
270
00:06:32,209 --> 00:06:33,167
>> Granny: [ GURGLING ]
271
00:06:33,250 --> 00:06:34,459
>> Early: STRAIGHT ON DOWN TO
272
00:06:34,542 --> 00:06:35,000
THE BONE!
273
00:06:35,083 --> 00:06:36,042
>> Rusty: DADDY, DON'T!
274
00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:37,334
>> Early: [ Grunting ] YOU'RE
275
00:06:37,417 --> 00:06:37,751
RIGHT!
276
00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:38,959
MY DAMN ARM'S BURNING! OHH!
277
00:06:39,042 --> 00:06:40,250
>> Rusty: OH, MY GOD, GRANNY,
278
00:06:40,334 --> 00:06:40,959
ARE YOU OKAY?!
>> Granny: [ MOANING ]
279
00:06:41,876 --> 00:06:42,417
>> Early: WHY?!
>> Granny: AAH!
280
00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:44,125
>> Early: WHY ARE YOU MAKIN' ME
281
00:06:44,209 --> 00:06:44,584
DO THIS?!
>> Granny: AAH!
282
00:06:45,292 --> 00:06:46,042
>> Early: STILL WHY?!
>> Granny: AAH!
283
00:06:46,751 --> 00:06:47,500
>> Early: I WILL NEVER
UNDERSTAND WHY!
284
00:06:48,209 --> 00:06:48,751
>> Granny: AAH!
285
00:06:48,834 --> 00:06:49,834
>> Early: I TRIED TO WARN YOU!
286
00:06:49,918 --> 00:06:50,459
>> Granny: AAH!
287
00:06:50,542 --> 00:06:51,542
>> Early: BUT THIS IS WHAT YOU
288
00:06:51,626 --> 00:06:52,584
GET WHEN YOU DON'T RACE FAIR!
289
00:06:52,667 --> 00:06:53,209
>> Granny: AAH!
290
00:06:53,292 --> 00:06:54,334
>> Early: [ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
291
00:06:54,417 --> 00:06:55,167
>> Granny: [ MOANING ]
292
00:06:55,250 --> 00:06:56,459
>> APPLETINI A-CO-- OH,
293
00:06:56,542 --> 00:06:58,083
GRANNY HOTFOOT, WHAT HAPPENED!
294
00:06:58,167 --> 00:06:59,042
[ BAT CLATTERS ]
295
00:06:59,125 --> 00:07:00,667
>> Early: UH, SHE FELL DOWN THE
296
00:07:00,751 --> 00:07:02,417
STAIRS I-INTO THE FRITTER
297
00:07:02,500 --> 00:07:04,542
MACHINE, WHICH IS HERE NOW AND,
298
00:07:04,626 --> 00:07:06,083
WELL, SO AM I.
299
00:07:06,167 --> 00:07:07,751
UH, I-I JUST CAME HERE LOOKING
300
00:07:07,834 --> 00:07:09,292
FOR THE MACHINE.
301
00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:11,709
OH, UH, HERE IT IS.
302
00:07:11,792 --> 00:07:14,417
LOOKS LIKE SHE FELL IN IT.
303
00:07:14,500 --> 00:07:15,417
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
[ FEEDBACK ]
304
00:07:16,083 --> 00:07:17,167
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I'M
305
00:07:17,250 --> 00:07:18,792
SORRY TO REPORT GRANNY HOTFOOT
306
00:07:18,876 --> 00:07:20,167
WON'T BE RACING TONIGHT.
307
00:07:20,250 --> 00:07:21,292
[ SPECTATORS GASP ]
308
00:07:21,375 --> 00:07:23,083
>> OH, UH, CALM DOWN NOW, FOLKS!
309
00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:24,792
WE GOT ANIMALS DRESSED AS MOVIE
310
00:07:24,876 --> 00:07:25,918
STARS, WE SURE DO!
311
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,417
Y'ALL LIKE THAT, DON'T YA?
312
00:07:27,500 --> 00:07:28,751
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
313
00:07:28,834 --> 00:07:31,042
FIRST UP TO THE STARTING LINE,
314
00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:35,042
PLEASE WELCOME SQUID ROCK!
315
00:07:35,125 --> 00:07:36,125
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
316
00:07:36,209 --> 00:07:37,209
[ PIG SNORTING ]
317
00:07:37,292 --> 00:07:40,542
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYING ]
318
00:07:40,626 --> 00:07:42,959
NEXT UP, HE'S THE VILLAIN YOU
319
00:07:43,042 --> 00:07:44,042
LOVE TO HATE!
320
00:07:44,125 --> 00:07:47,125
STRAIGHT FROM THE SOCK HOP, IT'S
321
00:07:47,209 --> 00:07:49,667
INKY TUSCADERO!
322
00:07:49,751 --> 00:07:51,626
[ SPECTATORS BOOING ]
323
00:07:51,709 --> 00:07:53,000
>> Early: YOU WANT YOU SOME OF
324
00:07:53,083 --> 00:07:53,709
THIS?!
325
00:07:53,792 --> 00:07:56,042
IT'S GOIN' DOWN TONIGHT, BABY!
326
00:07:56,125 --> 00:07:57,042
[ BOOING CONTINUES ]
327
00:07:57,125 --> 00:07:58,375
>> Rusty: I DON'T LIKE THEM
328
00:07:58,459 --> 00:07:59,667
DRESSING US UP LIKE PEOPLE.
329
00:07:59,751 --> 00:08:00,584
IT'S DEHUMANIZIN'.
330
00:08:00,667 --> 00:08:01,751
>> Early: UNH-UNH, IT'S
331
00:08:01,834 --> 00:08:02,918
RE-HUMANIZING, YOU SEE?
332
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,417
'CAUSE THEY MAKING US LOOK LIKE,
333
00:08:04,500 --> 00:08:05,876
YOU KNOW, HUMAN PEOPLE AND ALL.
334
00:08:05,959 --> 00:08:07,250
>> Rusty: NAH, DADDY, THEY'RE
335
00:08:07,334 --> 00:08:08,459
TAKING AWAY OUR DIGNITY.
336
00:08:08,542 --> 00:08:09,209
[ PIG SNORTS ]
337
00:08:09,292 --> 00:08:10,584
>> Early: YOU'RE MISSING THE
338
00:08:10,667 --> 00:08:11,042
POINT.
339
00:08:11,125 --> 00:08:12,167
WE LOOK LIKE PEOPLE NOW.
340
00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:12,959
>> WHAT'S THIS?!
[ FEEDBACK ]
341
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:15,042
I'M GETTING WORD FROM THE TUNNEL
342
00:08:15,125 --> 00:08:16,042
WE HAVE A LATE ENTRY.
343
00:08:16,125 --> 00:08:17,459
>> Early: WHAT THE HELL'S THIS?!
344
00:08:17,542 --> 00:08:20,292
>> LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I GIVE
345
00:08:20,375 --> 00:08:23,000
YOU YOUR REIGNING CHAMPION,
346
00:08:23,083 --> 00:08:27,292
GRANICUS HOTFOOT!
347
00:08:27,375 --> 00:08:28,375
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]
348
00:08:28,459 --> 00:08:29,876
[ FANFARE ]
349
00:08:29,959 --> 00:08:31,792
>> Granny: I...
350
00:08:31,876 --> 00:08:33,083
AM...
351
00:08:33,167 --> 00:08:33,792
GRANICUS!
352
00:08:33,876 --> 00:08:35,250
>> Early: YOU AIN'T IN NO
353
00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:36,375
CONDITION TO RACE!
354
00:08:36,459 --> 00:08:38,209
>> Granny: OH, SON, YOU MAY HAVE
355
00:08:38,292 --> 00:08:40,375
GOTTEN MY GOOD LOOKS, BUT YOU
356
00:08:40,459 --> 00:08:41,751
NEVER GOT MY WILL TO WIN!
357
00:08:41,834 --> 00:08:42,500
[ CACKLES ]
358
00:08:42,584 --> 00:08:43,792
>> Early: [ SNIFFLING ]
359
00:08:43,876 --> 00:08:45,000
TO HELL WITH THIS MESS!
360
00:08:45,083 --> 00:08:45,667
[ CRYING ]
361
00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:47,042
>> Rusty: DADDY, WHERE YOU
362
00:08:47,125 --> 00:08:47,500
GOING?
363
00:08:47,584 --> 00:08:49,042
>> Granny: IF ONLY HE RAN LIKE
364
00:08:49,125 --> 00:08:50,584
THAT IN THE RACE, HE MIGHT WIN
365
00:08:50,667 --> 00:08:50,959
ONE!
366
00:08:51,042 --> 00:08:53,500
[ LAUGHS ]
367
00:08:53,584 --> 00:08:55,167
RUSTY, I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO LAY
368
00:08:55,250 --> 00:08:56,834
UP AGAIN FOR ME.
369
00:08:56,918 --> 00:08:59,125
>> ON YOUR MARKS!
370
00:08:59,209 --> 00:09:01,334
SET!
371
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:02,417
[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING,
372
00:09:02,500 --> 00:09:04,083
SCREAMING ]
373
00:09:04,167 --> 00:09:05,667
>> Early: OUT OF MY WAY, YOU
374
00:09:05,751 --> 00:09:06,417
DUMBASSES!
375
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:08,334
WHOO! WHOO-HOO!
376
00:09:08,417 --> 00:09:09,500
YEAH! WHOO!
377
00:09:09,584 --> 00:09:11,959
>> NO, MY BEAUTIFUL MENAGERIE!
378
00:09:12,042 --> 00:09:14,292
>> Granny: GET ON, SNOWBALL!
379
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:15,751
STOP SNIFFIN' YOUR BROTHER'S
380
00:09:15,834 --> 00:09:16,167
ASS!
HE'S DEAD!
381
00:09:17,042 --> 00:09:18,334
>> Early: HELL YEAH!
382
00:09:18,417 --> 00:09:20,751
WHOO! VICTORY IS MINE!
383
00:09:20,834 --> 00:09:22,876
[ ENGINE REVVING ]
384
00:09:22,959 --> 00:09:23,584
WHAT THE?!
385
00:09:23,667 --> 00:09:24,834
>> Granny: [ GRUNTS ]
386
00:09:24,918 --> 00:09:25,876
IT'S OVER, EARLY!
387
00:09:25,959 --> 00:09:27,167
>> Early: NOTHING IS OVER!
388
00:09:27,250 --> 00:09:28,209
>> Granny: IMMA WIN!
389
00:09:28,292 --> 00:09:30,042
>> Early: I NEED THIS!
390
00:09:30,125 --> 00:09:31,292
[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
391
00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:34,584
[ PIG SNORTING ]
392
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,375
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
393
00:09:36,459 --> 00:09:39,626
[ FLIES BUZZING ]
394
00:09:39,709 --> 00:09:42,125
>> OH, LORD, NO, THIS MESS AIN'T
395
00:09:42,209 --> 00:09:44,500
GONNA FLY ON A BILLBOARD.
396
00:09:44,584 --> 00:09:46,250
OKAY, THAT'S IT. SHOW'S OVER.
397
00:09:46,334 --> 00:09:48,417
WE'RE GOIN' CORN MAZE.
398
00:09:48,500 --> 00:09:49,876
PUT 'EM ALL TO SLEEP.
399
00:09:49,959 --> 00:09:53,083
WIPE IT CLEAN.
400
00:09:53,167 --> 00:09:53,751
[ PIG SNORTS ]
401
00:09:53,834 --> 00:09:54,918
>> Early: OH, OH, I SEE HOW HE
402
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,167
WON NOW, GETTING HIS DAMN BLOOD
403
00:09:56,250 --> 00:09:56,918
DOPED OVER THERE!
[ PIG SQUEALS ]
404
00:09:57,667 --> 00:09:58,542
>> Rusty: HE'S GETTING
EUTHANIZED, DADDY.
405
00:09:59,375 --> 00:10:00,417
>> Granny: HEY, I WANT TO BE
406
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:00,876
YOUNGER!
407
00:10:00,959 --> 00:10:02,083
>> Rusty: THAT AIN'T WHAT THAT
408
00:10:02,167 --> 00:10:02,709
MEANS, GRANNY!
409
00:10:02,792 --> 00:10:03,918
WE NEED TO GET ON OUT OF HERE!
410
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,167
>> Early: LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO
411
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,250
TAINT MY CHAMPIONSHIP, BUT,
412
00:10:06,334 --> 00:10:07,834
HELL, EVERYBODY'S JUICING NOW,
413
00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:09,542
AND I GOT TO DO WHAT I GOT TO DO
414
00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:10,667
TO STAY COMPETITIVE.
415
00:10:10,751 --> 00:10:12,375
>> Granny: IF HE GETS THAT SHOT,
416
00:10:12,459 --> 00:10:13,584
I WANT THE SHOT, TOO!
417
00:10:13,667 --> 00:10:14,959
>> Rusty: I'LL SEE Y'ALL.
418
00:10:15,042 --> 00:10:16,626
[ FLIES BUZZING ]
419
00:10:16,709 --> 00:10:18,792
[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
420
00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:46,918
>> Granny: MADE IN GEORGIA!
26393