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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,368 --> 00:00:07,040 [ STATIC ] 2 00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:07,674 [ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ] 3 00:00:07,741 --> 00:00:10,577 >> ♪ UNH ♪ 4 00:00:10,677 --> 00:00:12,045 ♪ MY DREAMS ♪ 5 00:00:12,145 --> 00:00:14,214 ♪ ARE ALL DEAD AND BURIED ♪ 6 00:00:14,314 --> 00:00:16,216 ♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN ♪ 7 00:00:16,316 --> 00:00:18,385 ♪ WOULD JUST EXPLODE ♪ 8 00:00:18,485 --> 00:00:20,387 ♪ WHEN GOD CALLS AND CALLS ME TO 9 00:00:20,487 --> 00:00:22,422 HIS KINGDOM ♪ 10 00:00:22,522 --> 00:00:24,024 ♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF 11 00:00:24,090 --> 00:00:25,658 BITCHES WHEN I GO ♪ 12 00:00:25,725 --> 00:00:27,694 ♪ OW! ♪ 13 00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:28,328 >> Rusty: MY TURN. 14 00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:29,396 >> Early: HELL NO. 15 00:00:29,496 --> 00:00:30,263 >> Rusty: HEY, MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT THING! 16 00:00:30,830 --> 00:00:31,598 COME ON! 17 00:00:31,698 --> 00:00:33,566 >> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM! 18 00:00:33,666 --> 00:00:37,203 [ BELL RINGS ] 19 00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:37,771 >> Rusty: THERE YOU GO, SIR! 20 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,406 THANK YOU MUCH! 21 00:00:39,506 --> 00:00:40,006 [ CAR HORN HONKS ] 22 00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:41,107 >> HEY, RUSTY! 23 00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,575 SAY HEY TO YOUR DADDY, RANDY. 24 00:00:42,675 --> 00:00:43,576 >> Rusty: THERE'S MY GUY. 25 00:00:43,676 --> 00:00:44,511 WHAT'S UP, HOSS? 26 00:00:44,577 --> 00:00:46,346 >> [ COOING ] 27 00:00:46,413 --> 00:00:47,347 ALL RIGHT, HERE YOU GO. 28 00:00:47,414 --> 00:00:49,049 NOW, HERE'S JUNE AND JULY, AND I 29 00:00:49,115 --> 00:00:50,417 GUESS THAT CATCHES US UP. 30 00:00:50,517 --> 00:00:51,084 HERE'S A LITTLE EXTRA. NOW, THAT'S FOR YOU. 31 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:53,453 GET MAMA TO GO BUY YOU A ONESIE 32 00:00:53,553 --> 00:00:55,255 IN TOWN. 33 00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:56,556 BE SURE TO RIP THEM SLEEVES OFF. 34 00:00:56,623 --> 00:00:57,724 BA-BAM! 35 00:00:57,791 --> 00:00:58,425 >> BA-BAM! 36 00:00:58,525 --> 00:00:59,592 [ BELL RINGS ] 37 00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:01,361 >> THANK YOU FOR THIS, RUSTY. 38 00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:02,562 WE SURE APPRECIATE YOU. 39 00:01:02,629 --> 00:01:04,197 >> Rusty: I APPRECIATE YOU, TOO, 40 00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:05,031 TAMMI -- HOW FINE YOU LOOKIN'. 41 00:01:05,098 --> 00:01:07,267 I'D APPRECIATE THE HELL OUT OF 42 00:01:07,367 --> 00:01:08,068 YOU RIGHT NOW IF YOU'D LET ME. 43 00:01:08,134 --> 00:01:10,136 >> YEAH, I GET IT, RUSTY. 44 00:01:10,236 --> 00:01:10,603 >> Rusty: I KNOW, I KNOW -- BABY 45 00:01:10,703 --> 00:01:11,938 STEPS. 46 00:01:12,038 --> 00:01:12,806 >> [ COOS ] >> Rusty: BUT I'M GONNA EARN YOU 47 00:01:13,540 --> 00:01:14,107 BACK! YOU'LL SEE! 48 00:01:14,974 --> 00:01:16,276 'CAUSE I'M A MAN! BA-BAM! 49 00:01:16,376 --> 00:01:17,077 >> BA-BAM! 50 00:01:17,143 --> 00:01:18,578 >> Early: WHERE THE HELL YOU 51 00:01:18,645 --> 00:01:19,612 BEEN?! 52 00:01:19,712 --> 00:01:21,247 >> Granny: YEAH, YOU ALL RUNNING 53 00:01:21,314 --> 00:01:23,249 OUT IN THE MORNING, SAYING YOU'S 54 00:01:23,316 --> 00:01:25,051 GOING TO WORK AND THEN COMING 55 00:01:25,118 --> 00:01:26,619 HOME ALL TIRED EIGHT HOURS 56 00:01:26,719 --> 00:01:27,587 LATER, TALKING ABOUT HOW YOU'S 57 00:01:27,654 --> 00:01:29,322 AT WORK! 58 00:01:29,422 --> 00:01:30,390 >> Rusty: 'CAUSE I WAS AT WORK. 59 00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:31,458 >> Granny: HERE HE GOES! 60 00:01:31,558 --> 00:01:32,659 >> Early: YOU AIN'T BEEN AT 61 00:01:32,759 --> 00:01:34,127 WORK 'CAUSE MY BOY AIN'T GONNA 62 00:01:34,227 --> 00:01:34,961 WORK! YOU KNOW HOW DAMN HARD I WORK 63 00:01:35,895 --> 00:01:37,163 TRYING NOT TO WORK JUST TO HAVE 64 00:01:37,263 --> 00:01:37,997 YOU WORK?! >> Rusty: I DONE TOLD Y'ALL 20 65 00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:39,732 TIMES, I'M WORKIN' AT THE CAR 66 00:01:39,799 --> 00:01:41,301 WASH, MAKING ME SOME DAMN MONEY. 67 00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:41,935 >> Early: M-MONEY? >> Granny: MONEY?! 68 00:01:42,802 --> 00:01:43,636 >> Early: MONEY! HELL YEAH! >> Granny: WE MADE IT! 69 00:01:44,504 --> 00:01:45,171 >> Early: SOMEBODY IN THIS 70 00:01:45,271 --> 00:01:46,739 FAMILY DONE MADE SOME DAMN 71 00:01:46,806 --> 00:01:47,674 MONEY! >> Granny: GIVE UP THE MONEY! 72 00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:49,409 >> Rusty: I ALREADY GAVE AWAY THE MONEY. 73 00:01:50,343 --> 00:01:51,144 >> Granny: YOU WHAT?! 74 00:01:51,244 --> 00:01:52,479 >> Rusty: I TOLD YA, EVERY DIME 75 00:01:52,579 --> 00:01:53,279 I MAKE GOES TO CHILD SUPPORT. 76 00:01:53,346 --> 00:01:54,814 >> Early: CUYLER MONEY -- IN 77 00:01:54,914 --> 00:01:55,615 TAMMI'S HANDS?! 78 00:01:55,682 --> 00:01:57,317 >> Granny: THAT GOLD-DIGGING 79 00:01:57,417 --> 00:01:58,151 WHORE! 80 00:01:58,251 --> 00:01:59,419 >> Rusty: I ALSO JUST HAD TO PAY 81 00:01:59,486 --> 00:02:00,286 FOR HIS SHOTS. 82 00:02:00,353 --> 00:02:01,621 >> Granny: YOU'RE SPOILING THAT 83 00:02:01,688 --> 00:02:02,622 BABY BY GIVING HIM 84 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:03,590 IMMUNIZATIONS! A CHILD NEEDS TO KNOW WHAT 85 00:02:04,624 --> 00:02:05,658 RICKETS FEEL LIKE! 86 00:02:05,758 --> 00:02:06,826 >> Early: IF THAT CHILD'S EVEN 87 00:02:06,926 --> 00:02:07,694 YOURS. 88 00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:08,695 >> Rusty: WHAT THE HELL YOU MEAN 89 00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,762 BY THAT? 90 00:02:09,829 --> 00:02:10,663 >> Early: THAT BABY AIN'T GOT NO SQUID BLOOD IN HIM! 91 00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:13,099 >> Granny: I WANT TO LOVE IT, 92 00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:14,667 BUT I DON'T TRUST IT WITH THAT 93 00:02:14,767 --> 00:02:17,770 CREAM-CHEESY DAMN SKIN! 94 00:02:17,837 --> 00:02:19,038 I'M SORRY -- I SAID IT! 95 00:02:19,139 --> 00:02:20,340 >> Rusty: Y'ALL CUT IT OUT. 96 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:21,441 OF COURSE RANDY'S...MINE. 97 00:02:21,508 --> 00:02:22,609 >> Early: COUNT HOW MANY LEGS 98 00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:23,510 HE'S GOT. 99 00:02:23,610 --> 00:02:24,611 HAS HE GOT EIGHT, LIKE US? 100 00:02:24,677 --> 00:02:26,679 >> Rusty: ONE... 101 00:02:26,779 --> 00:02:27,647 TWO... OH, MY GOD, YOU'RE RIGHT! 102 00:02:28,448 --> 00:02:29,182 HE'S ONLY GOT TWO LEGS! 103 00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:31,184 >> Early: LIKE A TWO-LEGGED, 104 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:32,619 TWO-ARMED, 10-FINGERED FREAK 105 00:02:32,685 --> 00:02:33,620 SHOW! 106 00:02:33,686 --> 00:02:34,487 >> Granny: TAMMI DONE SPREAD HER 107 00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:37,390 LEGS IN THE DIRT FOR SOME HUMAN 108 00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:38,224 MAN, AND THAT'S WHAT COME OUT! 109 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,293 >> Rusty: UH, THAT AIN'T TRUE! 110 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,361 TAMMI WOULDN'T DO THAT! 111 00:02:41,461 --> 00:02:42,729 >> Granny: SHE'S PROBABLY OUT 112 00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,697 PAINTING THE TOWN RED RIGHT NOW 113 00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,699 WITH SOME NEW FELLA, AND YOU'RE 114 00:02:46,799 --> 00:02:48,368 THE ONE WHO BOUGHT 'EM ALL THE 115 00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:49,402 PAINT! 116 00:02:49,502 --> 00:02:51,371 >> YOU GET ANYTHING YOU WANT -- 117 00:02:51,471 --> 00:02:54,174 SALAD, SOFT-SERVE, UNLIMITED 118 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:55,208 CRESCENT ROLLS. 119 00:02:55,308 --> 00:02:56,543 THIS IS YOUR NIGHT. 120 00:02:56,643 --> 00:02:57,577 >> WELL, THANK YOU, DENNY. 121 00:02:57,677 --> 00:02:58,344 THAT'S REAL SWEET. >> NOW, LIFT ME UP, SEE 122 00:02:59,212 --> 00:03:00,413 WHAT KIND OF JELLO THEY GOT. 123 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,215 >> YEAH. 124 00:03:02,315 --> 00:03:03,383 >> NOW, DON'T BE A WALLFLOWER. 125 00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:04,651 TELL ME SOMETHING INTERESTING 126 00:03:04,717 --> 00:03:05,585 ABOUT YOU. 127 00:03:05,685 --> 00:03:06,586 >> WELL, I'M TAKING COLLEGE 128 00:03:06,686 --> 00:03:07,387 CLASSES ONLINE -- 129 00:03:07,487 --> 00:03:08,888 >> THIS HERE HAND ONLY GOT 130 00:03:08,988 --> 00:03:09,656 THREE FINGERS. THAT'S INTERESTING. 131 00:03:10,590 --> 00:03:11,724 I COME OUT OF THE WOMB WITH THIS 132 00:03:11,824 --> 00:03:13,560 MUSTACHE, TOO. 133 00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,227 PRETTY INTERESTING. 134 00:03:14,327 --> 00:03:15,728 I'M WAY INTO JELLO. 135 00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:17,397 I BET THAT'S HOW WE FOUND EACH 136 00:03:17,497 --> 00:03:18,231 OTHER ON THE DOUGAL DOUBLES ON 137 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:20,500 ACCOUNT OF WE BOTH LIKE JELLO SO 138 00:03:20,567 --> 00:03:20,934 DAMN MUCH. 139 00:03:21,034 --> 00:03:22,235 >> YEAH. 140 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:23,503 AND ALSO 'CAUSE THERE'S NOT A 141 00:03:23,570 --> 00:03:24,837 WHOLE LOT OF PROFILES ON THAT 142 00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:26,506 DOUGAL COUNTY DATING SITE. 143 00:03:26,573 --> 00:03:27,774 >> IT'S LIKE THE INTERNET 144 00:03:27,874 --> 00:03:28,708 DECIDED THAT WE WAS DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER. 145 00:03:29,676 --> 00:03:31,277 [ LAUGHS ] 146 00:03:31,377 --> 00:03:32,845 >> PLEASE DON'T THROW JELLO AT 147 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:33,613 ME. 148 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:34,614 >> I'M JUST PLAYIN'. 149 00:03:34,714 --> 00:03:37,250 PASS ME THEM CRAYONS. 150 00:03:37,350 --> 00:03:38,685 I THINK I'M GONNA DRAW ME A 151 00:03:38,751 --> 00:03:40,253 PONTOON BOAT. 152 00:03:40,353 --> 00:03:41,187 [ CICADAS CHIRPING ] 153 00:03:41,254 --> 00:03:42,555 >> Early: NOW, YOU JUST MARCH 154 00:03:42,622 --> 00:03:43,356 YOUR ASS UP THERE AND SNATCH THAT YOUNG'ERN AND TEST HIS 155 00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:46,593 MOLECULES IN THE COMPUTER 'CAUSE 156 00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:47,794 IF HE AIN'T YOURS, THEN YOU 157 00:03:47,894 --> 00:03:49,262 AIN'T GOT TO PAY NO-DAMN-BODY. 158 00:03:49,362 --> 00:03:50,597 >> Rusty: I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE 159 00:03:50,697 --> 00:03:51,731 WAS RUNNING AROUND ON ME THIS 160 00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:52,599 WHOLE TIME. 161 00:03:52,699 --> 00:03:53,600 >> Early: HEY, I KNOW. 162 00:03:53,700 --> 00:03:54,434 NOT TO BE SEXUALIST, BUT YOU 163 00:03:54,534 --> 00:03:56,269 CAN'T TRUST A DAMN STUPID-ASS 164 00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:57,604 BITCH WHORE FARTHER THAN YOU CAN 165 00:03:57,704 --> 00:03:58,571 THROW HER! 166 00:03:58,638 --> 00:03:59,772 AND I KNOW 'CAUSE I THROW ME 167 00:03:59,872 --> 00:04:00,773 SOME WOMANS ALL THE TIME. 168 00:04:00,873 --> 00:04:02,408 SKINNY WOMANS WILL TRAVEL 169 00:04:02,475 --> 00:04:03,142 FARTHER. IT'S A BONE-DENSITY THING. 170 00:04:03,977 --> 00:04:05,411 YOU KNOW, IT'S SCIENCE. 171 00:04:05,478 --> 00:04:06,613 NOW, YOU JUST RING THAT 172 00:04:06,713 --> 00:04:08,748 DOORBELL AND REPEAT AFTER ME. 173 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,783 [ BUZZERS SOUNDS ] 174 00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:12,752 >> HEY, RUSTY, UM... 175 00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:13,486 IT'S -- IT'S LATE. IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG? 176 00:04:14,454 --> 00:04:16,456 >> Early: Ignore the hell out of 177 00:04:16,556 --> 00:04:17,423 her. Drives her crazy, gets them 178 00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,225 loins moist. >> Rusty: IGNORE THE HELL OUT OF 179 00:04:19,726 --> 00:04:21,294 HER. 180 00:04:21,394 --> 00:04:22,395 DRIVES HER CRAZY, GETS HER LOINS 181 00:04:22,462 --> 00:04:23,263 MOIST. >> Early: NO, DON'T REPEAT WHAT 182 00:04:24,063 --> 00:04:24,464 I SAY! OH, HELL! 183 00:04:25,398 --> 00:04:27,967 Just get your ass inside! 184 00:04:28,067 --> 00:04:28,935 TELL HER! >> Rusty: BUT YOU SAID NOT TO 185 00:04:29,636 --> 00:04:30,503 REPEAT WHAT I SAY. 186 00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:31,504 >> Early: Now I'm saying 187 00:04:31,604 --> 00:04:32,238 different! DON'T DO WHAT I SAID! 188 00:04:32,905 --> 00:04:33,473 SAY WHAT I DO! Go on now! 189 00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:34,807 Get your ass inside and come 190 00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:35,808 back out! 191 00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:36,643 >> RUSTY, WHAT DO YOU WANT? 192 00:04:36,743 --> 00:04:37,644 >> Rusty: GO YOUR ASS INSIDE, 193 00:04:37,744 --> 00:04:38,511 THEN COME BACK OUT. >> Early: Don't you talk to her 194 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:40,346 now. 195 00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:41,147 >> Rusty: WHEN CAN I TALK? >> O-KAY, I'M GONNA GO BACK 196 00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:42,815 INSIDE NOW. 197 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:43,850 >> Rusty: OKAY, BUT THEN GET 198 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:45,251 YOUR ASS BACK OUT HERE! 199 00:04:45,318 --> 00:04:45,985 >> Early: IT WORKED! >> Rusty: YEAH! 200 00:04:46,919 --> 00:04:48,354 >> Early: MAN, YOU GOT HER ON 201 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,188 HER HEELS! 202 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,256 NOW, YOU RING THAT BELL AGAIN 203 00:04:50,323 --> 00:04:50,990 AND CLOSE THE DEAL! 204 00:04:51,090 --> 00:04:53,359 [ BUZZER SOUNDS ] 205 00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:54,494 >> WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT, 206 00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:55,194 RUSTY?! >> Early: Evening Tammi. 207 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:56,929 >> Rusty: EVENING TAMMI. >> Early: What are you doing on 208 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:58,531 this fine-ass night? >> Rusty: WHAT ARE YOU DOING ON 209 00:04:59,599 --> 00:05:00,300 THIS FINE-ASS NIGHT? >> RUSTY... 210 00:05:01,100 --> 00:05:01,834 >> Early: I know you're lonely without a man in your 211 00:05:02,335 --> 00:05:03,336 life. 212 00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:04,170 >> Rusty: I KNOW YOU'RE LONELY WITHOUT A MAN IN YOUR LIFE. 213 00:05:05,104 --> 00:05:05,838 >> Early: But I know somebody who could put some hard Georgia 214 00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:07,473 pine in your wood chipper. >> Rusty: BUT I KNOW SOMEBODY 215 00:05:08,441 --> 00:05:09,842 WHO COULD PUT SOME HARD GEORGIA 216 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:10,677 PINE IN YOUR WOOD CHIPPER. 217 00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:11,944 >> Early: You know my daddy, 218 00:05:12,011 --> 00:05:12,845 Early, over there in the bushes? >> Rusty: YOU KNOW MY DADDY, 219 00:05:13,813 --> 00:05:15,615 EARLY, OVER THERE IN THE BUSHES? 220 00:05:15,682 --> 00:05:16,649 >> Early: EVENING, TAMMI! 221 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:17,283 Get over there and put your 222 00:05:17,350 --> 00:05:18,551 tongue in his ear. 223 00:05:18,651 --> 00:05:19,786 >> Rusty: NOW, GO OVER THERE AND 224 00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:20,653 PUT YOUR TONGUE IN MY DADDY'S -- 225 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:22,355 DADDY, WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON 226 00:05:22,455 --> 00:05:23,189 HERE? WHERE ARE WE GOING WITH THIS? 227 00:05:24,123 --> 00:05:24,857 >> Early: LET HER DO IT, SON. 228 00:05:24,957 --> 00:05:25,892 THE HEART WANTS WHAT IT WANTS. 229 00:05:25,992 --> 00:05:27,327 >> Y'ALL ARE BOTH PATHETIC! 230 00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:28,494 >> IS THERE A PROBLEM HERE, 231 00:05:28,561 --> 00:05:30,029 BABE? 232 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:35,368 [ DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING ] 233 00:05:35,468 --> 00:05:35,968 >> Rusty: YOU ON A DATE -- WITH 234 00:05:36,035 --> 00:05:37,403 LITTLE DENNY?! 235 00:05:37,503 --> 00:05:38,338 >> WHOA, NOW, THAT'S 236 00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:39,539 DEPUTY LITTLE DENNY TO YOU, 237 00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:40,373 CUYLER. >> Rusty: I DON'T WANT THIS 238 00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,375 SAWED-OFF, JELLO-BREATH TWERP 239 00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:43,209 AROUND MY SON! >> OH, YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH 240 00:05:44,143 --> 00:05:44,811 JELLO NOW? >> Rusty: LET ME HOLD MY 241 00:05:45,712 --> 00:05:46,512 YOUNG'UN! >> IT IS LATE, RUSTY. 242 00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:48,648 NOW, I THINK YOU NEED TO BE 243 00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:49,649 GOING ON. 244 00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:50,483 >> Rusty: DAMN STRAIGHT I DO! 245 00:05:50,550 --> 00:05:52,752 AND I'LL BE TAKING RANDY WITH 246 00:05:52,852 --> 00:05:53,586 ME! 247 00:05:53,686 --> 00:05:54,654 >> RUSTY, NO! MY BOY! 248 00:05:54,721 --> 00:05:55,888 DO SOMETHING, DENNY! 249 00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:57,890 >> I, UH, OFFICER IN PURSUIT, 250 00:05:57,990 --> 00:05:58,691 OFFICER IN PURSUIT! 251 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,361 >> MY BABY! 252 00:06:01,427 --> 00:06:02,428 >> Early: YOU GET ON BACK 253 00:06:02,528 --> 00:06:03,763 HERE AND START LICKING ON THIS 254 00:06:03,863 --> 00:06:04,931 EAR LIKE YOU PROMISED, YOU DAMN 255 00:06:05,031 --> 00:06:06,666 TEASY BITCH! 256 00:06:06,733 --> 00:06:08,368 >> RUSTY, COME ON OUT NOW, AND 257 00:06:08,434 --> 00:06:08,868 WE WON'T PRESS CHARGES! 258 00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,436 [ STATIC ] 259 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:11,270 >> H.Q., THIS IS OFFICER DENNY 260 00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,606 AT MORNING GLORY TRAILER PARK 261 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:14,107 REQUESTING BACKUP. 262 00:06:14,207 --> 00:06:15,408 >> RANDY! 263 00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:16,409 >> Sheriff: 10-4. 264 00:06:16,509 --> 00:06:18,344 Uh, you gonna be on shift, uh, 265 00:06:18,411 --> 00:06:18,911 till breakfast time? 266 00:06:19,011 --> 00:06:20,580 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 267 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:21,948 Guarding Tammi's bedroom? 268 00:06:22,048 --> 00:06:23,516 DID YOU FRENCH THAT THING, OR 269 00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,684 DID YOU GRAZE BOOBY? 270 00:06:24,751 --> 00:06:25,585 DAMN IT -- OVER! [ STATIC ] 271 00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,053 >> IT WAS TOO HIGH. I COULDN'T GET TO IT. 272 00:06:28,020 --> 00:06:29,589 I STARTED MASSAGING HER ANKLE TO 273 00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:30,857 TRY TO, YOU KNOW, GET HER IN THE 274 00:06:30,923 --> 00:06:31,758 MOOD. >> Sheriff: Uh, I told you, 275 00:06:32,692 --> 00:06:33,926 Denny, it's boobs and butt. 276 00:06:34,026 --> 00:06:35,294 That's what they want touched. 277 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:36,729 They're both filled with milk -- 278 00:06:36,796 --> 00:06:37,463 I think. [ STATIC ] 279 00:06:38,364 --> 00:06:39,298 >> Y'ALL CAN GOSSIP LATER! 280 00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:40,733 RUSTY HAS RUN OFF WITH MY BOY, 281 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,068 AND IT'S Y'ALL'S JOB TO GO FIND 282 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:42,635 HIM! [ STATIC ] 283 00:06:43,536 --> 00:06:44,604 >> Sheriff: Easy now, Tammi. 284 00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:45,304 I-I know you're upset, but Rusty's the boy's daddy. 285 00:06:46,239 --> 00:06:48,574 I MEAN, IT'S PROBABLY A LOT ON 286 00:06:48,641 --> 00:06:49,976 HIS MIND AND ALL, CATCHING Y'ALL 287 00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:50,943 IN THE ACT. 288 00:06:51,043 --> 00:06:53,045 UH, UH, I'M NOT SAYING YOU 289 00:06:53,112 --> 00:06:54,547 TOUCHED BOOBY, BUT -- 290 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:56,082 >> MIND YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS 291 00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:59,118 AND FIND MY BOY! 292 00:06:59,218 --> 00:07:00,153 RANDY! 293 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,788 WHERE ARE YOU NOW?! IT'S MAMA! 294 00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,090 COME ON! 295 00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:04,957 [ TELEPHONE RINGING ] 296 00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:06,092 >> Rusty: OH, HELL, DO I GOT TO 297 00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:07,493 PAY FOR BOTH THE "D" AND THE 298 00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:08,161 "A"? CAN'T I JUST DO ONE? 299 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:09,796 >> Early: WHY, THIS LITTLE YOUNG'ERN AIN'T EVEN GOT NO 300 00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,064 SQUID SUCKERS ON HIS HANDS. 301 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:13,399 I'LL SAVE YOU SOME MONEY. 302 00:07:13,466 --> 00:07:14,801 JUST CHUNK HIM AT THE WALL AND 303 00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:15,635 SEE IF HE STICKS! >> Rusty: NO, NO, DADDY! 304 00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,603 STOP IT! 305 00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:19,472 THAT AIN'T NO SCIENTIFIC TEST! 306 00:07:19,572 --> 00:07:21,107 NOW, COME ON, SON, UH, JUST FART 307 00:07:21,174 --> 00:07:22,642 HERE IN THAT SLOT NOW. 308 00:07:22,742 --> 00:07:24,510 THEY'LL TEST IT WITH A COMPUTER. 309 00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:25,411 >> NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME, AND 310 00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:27,814 YOU LISTEN CLOSE, YOU REDHEADED 311 00:07:27,914 --> 00:07:29,015 SON OF A BITCH! 312 00:07:29,115 --> 00:07:30,316 I'M COMING, AND I'VE BROUGHT 313 00:07:30,416 --> 00:07:33,486 HELL WITH ME, AND I'M GONNA DUMP 314 00:07:33,586 --> 00:07:35,455 HELL ON YOUR...ASS. 315 00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:36,122 [ Sputters ] Do some cuss words. 316 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:37,857 When you see Rusty, it's 317 00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:38,991 important that you use the cuss 318 00:07:39,091 --> 00:07:39,659 words. [ STATIC ] 319 00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:41,160 >> Sheriff: I GOT YOU, LITTLE BUDDY. 320 00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:42,595 [ STATIC ] EARLY, YOU CAN HEAR THAT DENNY'S 321 00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:43,963 DAMN NEAR OUT OF HIS MIND WITH 322 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,665 RAGE. 323 00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:46,499 >> Early: I SAY DUMP THE KID IN A RIVER, THROW RUSTY IN JAIL, 324 00:07:47,433 --> 00:07:49,001 FIRE THAT RUNT, AND BRING THAT 325 00:07:49,101 --> 00:07:50,036 BITCH HERE TO ME! 326 00:07:50,136 --> 00:07:52,438 >> Sheriff: [ CHUCKLES ] 327 00:07:52,505 --> 00:07:54,006 BOY, IF IT WAS ONLY THAT EASY, 328 00:07:54,106 --> 00:07:54,674 EARLY. >> Early: IT IS. 329 00:07:55,208 --> 00:07:56,776 DO IT. 330 00:07:56,843 --> 00:07:57,310 >> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ] 331 00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:58,544 [ CHUCKLES ] 332 00:07:58,644 --> 00:07:59,879 YOU'RE FUNNY, EARLY. 333 00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,015 [ BIRDS CHIRPING ] 334 00:08:03,115 --> 00:08:03,516 SERIOUSLY? 335 00:08:03,616 --> 00:08:04,550 >> BA-BAM! 336 00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:05,718 >> Rusty: SHH, SHH, SHH! 337 00:08:05,818 --> 00:08:06,886 [ CHIRPING CONTINUES ] 338 00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,054 >> Sheriff: YOU KNOW, EARLY, 339 00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,856 WHEREVER RUSTY IS, I KNOW HE 340 00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,457 DON'T MEAN NO HARM AND HE ONLY 341 00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,059 WANTS THE BEST FOR THE BOY, BUT 342 00:08:13,159 --> 00:08:14,660 I HOPE HE KNOWS THAT HE'S NOT 343 00:08:14,727 --> 00:08:15,862 THE PRIMARY CAREGIVER. 344 00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,530 >> Early: WELL, WHAT IF HE AIN'T 345 00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,031 THE PRIMARY SPERM-GIVER NEITHER? 346 00:08:19,131 --> 00:08:19,899 [ Laughing ] AHA! 347 00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:21,834 LOOKY WHAT THE MAILMAN JUST GIVE 348 00:08:21,901 --> 00:08:22,869 ME! 349 00:08:22,969 --> 00:08:24,036 >> Sheriff: WELL [CLEARS THROAT] 350 00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:24,904 IT AIN'T ALWAYS GENETICS THAT 351 00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,873 DETERMINES WHETHER SOMEBODY CAN 352 00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:27,707 BE A GOOD PARENT. >> Early: HA, YOU PREACHING TO 353 00:08:28,341 --> 00:08:29,876 THE CHOIR NOW! 354 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,077 OH, YEAH, THAT'S HOW MY ASS GOT 355 00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:32,511 TRICKED AND TRIPPED UP. 356 00:08:32,578 --> 00:08:33,579 >> Granny: SAME HERE! 357 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:34,847 JUST 'CAUSE THIS ONE COME 358 00:08:34,914 --> 00:08:35,715 FALLING OUT OF MY INNARDS, NOW I 359 00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,917 GOT TO DO ALL THAT OTHER STUFF?! 360 00:08:38,017 --> 00:08:38,751 >> Early: HELL, I DON'T EVEN 361 00:08:38,851 --> 00:08:41,153 KNOW WHY HE'S UP IN THIS BOAT! 362 00:08:41,220 --> 00:08:42,555 >> Sheriff: [ CLEARS THROAT ] 363 00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:43,756 WELL, IF YOU JUST HAPPEN TO 364 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:44,557 SEE RUSTY -- >> Granny: YEAH, HE'S IN THE 365 00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,058 BOAT! >> Sheriff: THANK YOU, THANK 366 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:47,560 YOU, GRANNY. 367 00:08:47,660 --> 00:08:48,427 DAMN IT. 368 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:49,829 TELL RUSTY, IF YOU SEE HIM, THAT 369 00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:51,063 WE'LL GO EASY ON HIM IF HE 370 00:08:51,163 --> 00:08:52,098 BRINGS THE BOY IN. 371 00:08:52,198 --> 00:08:53,099 >> [ COOS ] 372 00:08:53,199 --> 00:08:54,600 >> Sheriff: BUT HE AIN'T GONNA 373 00:08:54,700 --> 00:08:56,068 LIKE IT MUCH IF DENNY CALLS IN 374 00:08:56,168 --> 00:08:57,036 THE S.W.A.T. TEAM. 375 00:08:57,103 --> 00:08:58,237 >> Rusty: THIS MY BOY! 376 00:08:58,337 --> 00:08:59,071 Y'ALL GO TO HELL! 377 00:08:59,171 --> 00:09:00,606 >> Early: OH, THE SUN WENT OUT! 378 00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:02,742 >> Sheriff: OFFICER DOWN! HELP! 379 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:03,943 >> Rusty: [ GRUNTING ] 380 00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,077 >> [ COOING ] 381 00:09:05,177 --> 00:09:06,579 >> Sheriff: RUSTY, DON'T DO 382 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:07,547 NOTHING RASH NOW! JUST RELAX! 383 00:09:08,514 --> 00:09:08,915 >> Rusty: Y'ALL CAN'T DO NOTHING 384 00:09:09,015 --> 00:09:10,683 TO ME NOW! 385 00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,018 THIS IS INTERNATIONAL WATERS! 386 00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:13,519 >> Sheriff: UH, YEP. [ SIGHS ] 387 00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:14,854 HE'S MORE THAN 4 FEET OFF THE 388 00:09:14,921 --> 00:09:16,088 SHORE. 389 00:09:16,188 --> 00:09:17,590 ALSO, I-I CAN'T SWIM, SO... 390 00:09:17,690 --> 00:09:19,091 >> Early: WELL, ONCE I READ 391 00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,726 THESE HERE DNA RESULTS, RUSTY 392 00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:22,228 AIN'T GONNA HAVE TO PAY ANOTHER 393 00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:23,796 DIME FOR NO CHALKY BABY! 394 00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:24,630 >> Rusty: HEY, LISTEN, Y'ALL. 395 00:09:24,730 --> 00:09:26,732 I DON'T GIVE A DAMN WHAT THAT 396 00:09:26,799 --> 00:09:27,600 DNA TEST SAYS! AIN'T NO PIECE OF PAPER GONNA 397 00:09:28,534 --> 00:09:30,903 CONVINCE ME NOT TO LOVE THIS 398 00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:32,071 BOY, EVEN IF HE IS A TWO-FOOTED 399 00:09:32,138 --> 00:09:32,772 FREAK! I LOVE RANDY! 400 00:09:33,706 --> 00:09:34,540 I LOVE HIM, AND I'M AS MUCH A DADDY AS HE EVER HAD! 401 00:09:35,374 --> 00:09:36,042 >> Sheriff: RUSTY? 402 00:09:36,108 --> 00:09:37,143 >> Rusty: AND WE GONNA BE 403 00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:37,944 TOGETHER FOREVER! 404 00:09:38,044 --> 00:09:39,145 >> Sheriff: RUSTY, THE BABY! 405 00:09:39,245 --> 00:09:40,046 [ WATER SPLASHES ] >> RANDY! 406 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,915 >> Rusty: OH, MY GOD, RANDY! 407 00:09:42,982 --> 00:09:44,650 >> Early: PROBLEM SOLVED! 408 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,320 [ LAUGHS ] 409 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:53,726 >> Rusty: RANDY, RANDY! 410 00:09:53,793 --> 00:09:54,760 WHOO-HOO! 411 00:09:54,827 --> 00:09:56,963 OH, DAMN IT! 412 00:09:57,063 --> 00:09:58,130 OH, MY GOD, RANDY'S A HALF 413 00:09:58,230 --> 00:09:58,965 SQUID! CHECK IT OUT, Y'ALL! 414 00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:00,566 LOOK AT HIM! HE IS MY BOY! 415 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:02,501 >> I TOLD YOU HE WAS YOURS! 416 00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:03,736 IF YOU EVER CHANGED A DAMN 417 00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:05,071 DIAPER, YOU WOULD KNOW 'CAUSE 418 00:10:05,137 --> 00:10:06,138 YOU WOULD SEE IT'S LIKE A 419 00:10:06,238 --> 00:10:07,573 THOUSAND FOUNTAIN PENS EXPLODED 420 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:08,507 IN HIS LITTLE CROTCH! >> Rusty: I AIN'T GONNA TOUCH NO 421 00:10:09,141 --> 00:10:10,643 DAMN DIAPER! 422 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:11,444 I'M A MAN! >> YOU HAVEN'T CHANGED HIS 423 00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:12,812 DIAPER THE WHOLE TIME YOU'VE HAD 424 00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,480 HIM?! 425 00:10:14,580 --> 00:10:15,181 >> Rusty: I LOOK LIKE I'M WEARIN' A LADY DRESS?! 426 00:10:16,148 --> 00:10:17,516 >> Early: HEY, IF YOU WAS MY 427 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:18,784 GIRL, WE WOULDN'T BE HAVING 428 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,019 THESE FIGHTS 'CAUSE YOU'D BE 429 00:10:20,119 --> 00:10:21,020 DOIN' AS YOU WAS TOLD! 430 00:10:21,120 --> 00:10:22,188 >> TELL YOUR DADDY TO SHUT UP! 431 00:10:22,288 --> 00:10:23,189 >> Rusty: OH, I SEE! 432 00:10:23,289 --> 00:10:24,156 YOU'RE ON THE RAG! 433 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:25,257 >> WHAT THE HELL?! 434 00:10:25,324 --> 00:10:26,792 >> Rusty: TALK TO ME ON TUESDAY 435 00:10:26,859 --> 00:10:27,627 WHEN IT'S OVER. 436 00:10:27,693 --> 00:10:28,828 >> Early: NOW, COME ON ASHORE 437 00:10:28,928 --> 00:10:30,162 AND SUCK ON MY TOES BEFORE I GET 438 00:10:30,262 --> 00:10:30,997 PISSED! >> DREAM ON, CUYLER. 439 00:10:31,964 --> 00:10:32,632 THE ONLY TOES SHE'S SUCKIN' 440 00:10:32,698 --> 00:10:35,167 TONIGHT ARE THE THREE... 441 00:10:35,267 --> 00:10:37,203 WEIRD-SHAPED ONES ON THIS FOOT. 442 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,204 AGH! AGH! AGH! 443 00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:38,771 >> Early: I STALKED HER FIRST! SHE'S MINE! 444 00:10:39,705 --> 00:10:40,506 >> AGH! DON'T! >> Early: SHE JUST DON'T KNOW IT 445 00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:41,974 YET! >> YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! 446 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:43,342 >> Sheriff: SEE? THINGS JUST HAVE A WAY OF 447 00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:44,844 WORKING OUT. 448 00:10:44,944 --> 00:10:45,611 >> WHEN I SAY "UNDER ARREST," YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT! 449 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:47,179 OW, STOP PUNCHING ME! >> Sheriff: YOU TAKE IT FROM ME 450 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:50,016 HERE, DENNY. 451 00:11:13,839 --> 00:11:15,174 >> OOH, THIS WAS MADE IN 452 00:11:15,241 --> 00:11:17,243 GEORGIA, BABY! 69341

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