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[ STATIC ]
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[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> ♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD AND
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BURIED ♪
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♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN WOULD
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JUST EXPLODE ♪
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♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME TO
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HIS KINGDOM ♪
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♪ I'LL BURN ALL YOU SONS OF
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BITCHES ON THE STOVE ♪
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>> Rusty: MY TURN.
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>> Early: HELL NO.
>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT
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THING!
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>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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>> Rusty: A-TOWN, BABY!
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ATLANTA! WHOA!
HEY, MAN, CAN WE TAKE THAT CNN
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TOUR, SEE THEM JEWS AND THEIR
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LIBERAL MEDIA SPIN MACHINE WHILE
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THEY MAKE UP THEM LIES?
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>> Early: MAYBE NEXT TIME, SON.
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WE IN HOTLANTA TODAY FOR ONE
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REASON AND ONE REASON ONLY --
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THE PRIDE PARADE, BABY!
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>> Granny: THE CELEBRATION OF
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THE LIFE AND MUSIC OF
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COUNTRY WESTERN LEGEND
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CHARLEY PRIDE!
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>> Early: YEAH! WHOO!
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HELL, THEY THROWING OUT FREE
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CANDY.
>> Granny: YAY! CANDY!
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>> Rusty: THROW ME SOME CANDY.
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THIS GUM IS CHEWY.
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>> Granny: [ Slurring ] SOME
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KIND OF LUBRICATION ON HERE.
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THIS IS NUMBING MY TONGUE.
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>> Early: [ GASPS ]
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NO.
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>> [ BLOWING ]
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>> Early: NO.
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>> MM!
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>> Early: NO!
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NO!
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NO!
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THIS IS NOT HOW CHARLEY PRIDE
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WANTS HIS LIFE'S WORK
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CELEBRATED!
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>> Granny: OH, EARLY, YOU'VE
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BEEN HIT BY THEIR FLOWERS!
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THAT MEANS YOU'RE THE NEXT TO
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BE GAY-MARRIED.
>> Early: OH, NO!
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>> Rusty: CONGRATULATIONS,
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DADDY.
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I DIDN'T KNOW YOU'S GAY.
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>> Early: WELL, ME NEITHER, BUT
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I DON'T WANT TO BE.
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I WON'T DO IT.
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IT AIN'T RIGHT.
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I AIN'T GOING TO HELL FOR MARRY
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NO DAMN MAN.
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DON'T YOU DANCE WITH ME.
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I AIN'T GAY NO MORE.
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{\an8}>> BUT A GAY TIME WAS NOT HAD BY
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{\an8}ALL, AS ONE PROTESTER HAD SOME
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{\an8}POINTEDLY UNCIVIL THINGS TO SAY
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{\an8}ABOUT THE GAY MARRIAGE MOVEMENT.
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{\an8}>> Early: I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT?
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{\an8}SOMEBODY JUST GONNA HAUL OFF AND
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{\an8}MARRY A DAMN PAINT CAN.
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{\an8}>> Granny: MARRIAGE IS OUR WORD!
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{\an8}LET THEM MAKE THEIR OWN WORD UP,
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{\an8}LIKE "CLEGEBUS" OR "FLARM"!
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{\an8}>> Early: THAT'S RIGHT, FLARM!
>> Granny: CLEGEBUS!
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{\an8}>> Early: AMEN.
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{\an8}>> Granny: YOU CAN'T FORCE ME TO
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{\an8}MARRY A WOMAN!
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{\an8}>> Early: YEAH, WHAT'S NEXT?
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{\an8}THEY GONNA MAKE ME MARRY ME A
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{\an8}PAINT CAN?
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{\an8}>> Granny: I MIGHT BE IN TO
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{\an8}SCISSORING WITH HER, IF THAT'S
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{\an8}ALL SHE WANTS, 'CAUSE IT'S FUN,
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{\an8}AND THERE AIN'T NO PRESSURES AS
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{\an8}LONG AS EVERYONE'S ON THE SAME
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{\an8}PAGE GOIN' INTO THE THING.
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{\an8}>> Early: AND I WOULD ENJOY
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{\an8}WATCHING THAT.
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{\an8}BUT I AIN'T JUST GONNA SIT DOWN
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{\an8}AND ALLOW A MAN TO MARRY A MAN.
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{\an8}[ STAMMERS ]
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{\an8}I AIN'T GAY-MARRYING NO DAMN
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{\an8}BODY UP IN CONNECTICGUT.
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{\an8}I LIVE HERE, DAMN IT!
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{\an8}>> REPORTING FROM
GAY PRIDE ATLANTA, I'M
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{\an8}DOUG RICHARDS.
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>> Early: [ GRUNTING ]
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[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
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I AIN'T MOVING TO CONNECTICUT!
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I LIVED HERE!
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>> Rusty: WELL, IT AIN'T LIKE
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IT'S MANDATORY, DADDY.
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>> Early: THIS COUNTRY WAS BUILT
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ON FREEDOM -- FREEDOM TO NOT LET
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THEM DO WHAT WE DO NOT WANT THEM
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TO DO!
>> Granny: I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT?
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>> Early: YEAH, WHAT'S NEXT?
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LIKE I'M GONNA MARRY A DAMN
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PAINT CAN.
IS THAT IT?
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>> Granny: ARE YOU?
I MEAN, YOU'RE TALKING A BIG
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GAME UP THERE ON THE TV.
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>> Early: GRANNY, I AIN'T GONNA
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MARRY NO DAMN PAINT CAN.
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THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
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I AM A CONFIRMED BACHELOR.
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HELL, I AIN'T GONNA BE HELD DOWN
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BY NO SUMBITCHIN' PAINT CAN.
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>> Granny: AH, THERE HE GOES,
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BACKING DOWN AGAIN, YEAH?
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>> Early: WHAT?
YOU SAYING I AIN'T MATURE ENOUGH
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TO SETTLE DOWN WITH A PAINT CAN,
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HUH?
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>> Granny: YOU AIN'T NEVER
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FOLLOWED THROUGH ON NOTHING YOUR
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WHOLE LIFE.
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>> Early: OH, I'LL MARRY ME A
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DAMN PAINT CAN IF THAT'S WHAT IT
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TAKES TO SHUT YOUR ASS UP!
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>> Granny: OH, NO, NO.
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DON'T DO IT 'CAUSE OF ME.
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I'LL JUST GO ON TELLIN' ME
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FRIENDS THAT YOU'RE A-A LATE
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BLOOMER.
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>> Early: RUSTY, FETCH THE DAMN
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PREACHER MAN!
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I'M MARRYING A DAMN PAINT CAN
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TODAY!
YOU HEAR ME?!
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DOES THAT SATISFY YOU, BITCH?!
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[ DOOR SLAMS ]
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NOW WHO WINS?!
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>> UGH.
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DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO DEFACE THE
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CHAPEL WALL?
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>> Rusty: WHICH ONE YOU WANT TO
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MARRY, DADDY?
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>> Early: UH, THAT ONE THERE
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WILL DO.
PUT A DRESS ON IT.
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>> COULDN'T Y'ALL HAVE USED THE
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SWATCHES?
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>> Sheriff: EARLY, I DON'T THINK
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YOU CAN LEGALLY MARRY A PAINT
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CAN IN THIS STATE.
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>> Early: I GOT THE RIGHT TO
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MARRY ANYBODY I WANT TO, TO
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PROVE THAT NOBODY IS SUPPOSED TO
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BE MARRYING ANYBODY THEY WANT.
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>> Sheriff: AW, YOU GET ALL
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CONSTITUTIONAL WITH ME.
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I-I CAN'T KEEP UP.
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YOU GOT MY BLESSING.
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GO AHEAD.
>> Early: ALL RIGHT, THEN,
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REVEREND.
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LET'S GET IT ON!
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>> WE'RE GATHERED HERE TODAY TO
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UNITE IN HOLY MATRIMONY THIS
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SQUID AND THIS GALLON OF, UH --
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>> Early: EXTRA-ACRYLIC
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HIGH-GLOSS LATEX PAINT AND
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PRIMER IN ONE WITH A SEMIGLOSS
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FINISH.
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I DO!
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[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKING ]
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STRAIGHT MARRIAGE ONLY, BABY!
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{\an8}>> AND WITH THAT, THE "WHAT'S
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{\an8}NEXT, YOU GONNA MARRY A PAINT
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{\an8}CAN?" GUY DROVE OFF WITH HIS NEW
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{\an8}WIFE AND ALL HER BRIDESMAIDS
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{\an8}TIED TO THE BUMPER.
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{\an8}[ TIRES SCREECHING ]
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{\an8}REPORTING FROM DOUGAL COUNTY,
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{\an8}I'M DOUG RICHARDS.
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>> Early: [ LAUGHS ]
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I GOT THEIR DAMN THONGS IN A
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TWIST NOW, BABY!
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>> Granny: YEAH, I GUESS.
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BUT WHAT'S NEXT?
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>> Early: I'LL SHOW YOU WHAT THE
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HELL'S NEXT!
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>> Early: WHAT'S NEXT,
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GAY-MARRIAGE LOVERS?
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Y'ALL GONNA MAKE IT LEGAL FOR ME
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TO MARRY THIS HERE VACUUM
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CLEANER?
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'CAUSE I'LL DO IT.
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>> DIDN'T I JUST MARRY YOU TO A
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PAINT CAN?
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>> Early: I'M MARRYING ME AN
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OBJECT A WEEK UNTIL THEM
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GAY-MARRIAGE PEOPLE SHUT THE
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HELL UP.
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>> Dan Halen: MY FUNDAMENTALIST
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FAST-FOOD CHAIN,
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CHICKEN ON THE CROSS, IS
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PREPARED TO THROW ITS FULL
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FINANCIAL SUPPORT BEHIND YOU AND
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YOUR MANY INANE WEDDINGS.
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>> Early: I APPRECIATE YOU,
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'CAUSE, I MEAN, WHAT THE HELL'S
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NEXT, YOU KNOW?
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WHAT IF SOMEBODY JUST HAULS OFF
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AND MARRIES A DAMN --
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>> Dan Halen: A PAINT CAN.
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YES, YES.
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I SAW THAT YOU DID THAT, YES.
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>> Early: AND THIS HERE IS MY
NEW WIFE, SPACE ROBOT.
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BO-BO-BE-BOP-BOP-BO-BO-BO-BO.
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WHAT'S THAT, HONEY?
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OH! SHE SAYS, "HEY, NO GAYS
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ARE MARRYING NO DAMN BODY HERE."
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>> Dan Halen: LISTEN TO ME, YOU
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FOOL!
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IF YOU WANT THIS THING TO HAVE
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LEGS, I NEED YOU TO MARRY
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SOMETHING MORE INSANE, SOMETHING
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THAT WILL GET ON TV!
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>> Early: OH, I HEAR YOU.
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SO YOU WANT ME TO MARRY THIS
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HERE HOT DOG.
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>> Dan Halen: YOU'RE GOING TO
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MARRY A WILD BLACK BEAR OF
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APPALACHIA!
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PICTURE IT, A MASSIVE STRAIGHT
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PRIDE PARADE THROUGH DOWNTOWN
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DOUGAL COUNTY, WHERE YOU'LL
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EXCHANGE VOWS WITH A BEAST OF
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THE FOREST!
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SURE, WE'LL LOSE SOME CUSTOMERS,
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BUT WE'LL DOUBLE OUR SALES WITH
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THE ROTUND JESUS FREAKS, WHO
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WILL ALL UNITE IN A BRAINLESS
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EFFORT TO SUPPORT US, LEAVING US
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WITH A NET GAIN OF SLIGHTLY
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MORE!
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>> Granny: YOU DAMN GAY FOLKS!
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YOU'VE STOLE ALL OUR STRAIGHT
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COLORS!
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WELL, THAT'S FINE.
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ALL I NEED IS BLACK AND WHITE --
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EXACTLY HOW I VIEW THE WORLD!
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>> IT'S ADAM AND EVE, NOT
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M-MADAM AND STEVE!
250
00:06:38,464 --> 00:06:39,932
>> ACTUALLY, MADAM AND STEVE
251
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:41,401
WOULD BE JUST FINE.
252
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:43,403
>> Granny: YEAH, MADAM AND STEVE
253
00:06:43,469 --> 00:06:44,604
IS TOTALLY HETERO.
254
00:06:44,704 --> 00:06:45,538
>> WELL, WHAT ABOUT RODNEY AND
255
00:06:45,605 --> 00:06:47,240
STEVE?
256
00:06:47,306 --> 00:06:48,608
>> WHERE YOU GETTING RODNEY
257
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:49,575
FROM?
258
00:06:49,642 --> 00:06:50,977
>> I PUT MY HAND DOWN RODNEY'S
259
00:06:51,077 --> 00:06:51,744
PANTS.
260
00:06:51,811 --> 00:06:53,379
HE GOT ALL WEIRD ABOUT IT.
261
00:06:53,446 --> 00:06:54,714
>> Granny: RODNEY'S GAY,
262
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:55,648
EVERYONE.
263
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,049
>> Sheriff: RODNEY'S GAY?
264
00:06:57,116 --> 00:06:58,751
WAIT. WHO'S RODNEY?
265
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:00,219
>> SOME DUDE.
266
00:07:00,286 --> 00:07:02,622
IT'S PRETTY HAIRY UP HERE FOR A
267
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,557
BANG BUS.
268
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:07,059
[ BEAR GROWLING ]
269
00:07:07,126 --> 00:07:09,462
>> Early: IS THIS HERE, MY
270
00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:10,730
FUTURE, UH, BEAR WIFE?
271
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:11,664
>> Dan Halen: NO.
THIS IS THE BEAR'S FATHER.
272
00:07:12,632 --> 00:07:14,634
YOU MUST REQUEST HIS DAUGHTER'S
273
00:07:14,734 --> 00:07:16,002
PAW IN MARRIAGE, BECAUSE WE'RE
274
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:16,803
PROMOTING TRADITIONAL FAMILY
275
00:07:16,903 --> 00:07:18,504
VALUES HERE.
276
00:07:18,604 --> 00:07:19,172
LOWER THE BEAR SHIELD!
277
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:20,940
>> Early: WHAT NOW?
278
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:21,808
[ BEAR ROARS ]
279
00:07:21,908 --> 00:07:23,075
>> Dan Halen: NOW ASK THE URSINE
280
00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,645
BEAST FOR ITS CUB'S HAND!
281
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:26,579
[ BEAR ROARS ]
>> Early: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
282
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,916
SIR, I RECKON YOUR DAUGHTER'S A
283
00:07:29,982 --> 00:07:31,083
VERY SPECIAL LADY.
284
00:07:31,150 --> 00:07:31,951
[ SCREAMS ]
285
00:07:32,018 --> 00:07:33,653
[ BEAR ROARS ]
286
00:07:33,753 --> 00:07:34,153
>> Dan Halen: YOU HAVE HIS
287
00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:35,488
BLESSING!
288
00:07:35,588 --> 00:07:36,456
>> Rusty: HEY, DADDY, YOU ALL
289
00:07:36,522 --> 00:07:37,590
RIGHT?!
290
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:38,424
>> Early: SATAN?
291
00:07:38,491 --> 00:07:39,592
>> Rusty: NO, DADDY, IT'S JUST
292
00:07:39,659 --> 00:07:40,626
RUSTY.
293
00:07:40,693 --> 00:07:41,694
>> Early: I THINK I GOT ME SOME
294
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:43,463
COLD FEET ABOUT THIS HERE
295
00:07:43,529 --> 00:07:44,163
MARRIAGE.
>> Rusty: LOOK, DADDY.
296
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:46,766
IT'S PERFECTLY NATURAL TO -- TO
297
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:48,434
HAVE SOME JITTERS ABOUT MARRYING
298
00:07:48,501 --> 00:07:49,001
A WILD BEAR.
[ BEAR ROARS ]
299
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:52,004
BUT IT'S WAY TOO LATE TO RUN.
300
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,706
HELL, EVEN IF HE DID, BEARS CAN
301
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,509
RUN UP TO 40 MILES AN HOUR.
302
00:07:56,609 --> 00:07:58,711
[ BEAR ROARS ]
303
00:07:58,811 --> 00:07:59,879
>> Early: ALL RIGHT, THEN.
304
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:00,646
HELL, LET'S DO IT.
305
00:08:00,713 --> 00:08:02,615
[ WAGNER'S "BRIDAL CHORUS"
306
00:08:02,682 --> 00:08:06,719
PLAYS ]
307
00:08:06,819 --> 00:08:11,624
[ BEAR GROWLS ]
308
00:08:11,691 --> 00:08:12,325
>> Early: I-I TOLD HIM A PRIME
RIB CARVING STATION AND
309
00:08:13,192 --> 00:08:14,961
CHOCOLATE FOUNTAIN!
310
00:08:15,027 --> 00:08:16,462
>> Rusty: IT'S ALL THERE, DADDY.
311
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:17,730
THEY JUST HAD TO HANG IT FROM
312
00:08:17,830 --> 00:08:18,965
THE TREES, YOU KNOW, ON ACCOUNT
313
00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:19,532
OF YOUR BRIDE.
314
00:08:19,632 --> 00:08:22,568
[ BEAR ROARS ]
315
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:23,970
YOU LOOK SO HANDSOME, DADDY.
316
00:08:24,036 --> 00:08:25,037
NOW BALL UP FACEDOWN ON THE
317
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:25,872
GROUND AND PROTECT THE BACK OF
318
00:08:25,972 --> 00:08:29,041
YOUR HEAD.
319
00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:31,811
>> DO YOU, EARLY CUYLER, TAKE
320
00:08:31,878 --> 00:08:34,347
THIS APPALACHIAN BLACK BEAR TO
321
00:08:34,413 --> 00:08:35,848
BE YOUR WEDDED WIFE TO PROVE
322
00:08:35,915 --> 00:08:38,518
YOUR POINT?
323
00:08:38,584 --> 00:08:39,986
>> Early: YOU KNOW, I'M STARTING
324
00:08:40,052 --> 00:08:40,820
TO THINK THAT, UH, THEM GAY
325
00:08:40,887 --> 00:08:43,055
FOLKS OUGHTA BE ABLE TO MARRY
326
00:08:43,155 --> 00:08:44,490
ABOUT ANYTHING THEY WANT.
327
00:08:44,557 --> 00:08:45,758
>> Dan Halen: EMOTIONALLY COMMIT
328
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:46,826
TO THE BEAR!
329
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:47,894
BIND YOURSELF IN MATRIMONY...TO
330
00:08:47,994 --> 00:08:49,929
THE BEAR!
331
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:50,997
>> Early: I DO.
332
00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,365
>> Dan Halen: YOU'RE GODDAMN
333
00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:53,766
RIGHT YOU D-- HE DOES, EVERYONE.
334
00:08:53,866 --> 00:08:54,767
HE DOES.
335
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,035
>> YOU MAY NOW KISS THE BEAR.
336
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:59,672
[ BEAR GROWLS ]
337
00:08:59,739 --> 00:09:00,506
>> Early: NAH, I'M GOOD, HALS.
338
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:02,742
>> Dan Halen: PUT THE RING ON
339
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:04,176
HER AND KISS HER DEEP FOR THE
340
00:09:04,243 --> 00:09:04,710
CAMERA!
341
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:06,546
[ BEAR ROARS ]
342
00:09:06,612 --> 00:09:08,447
>> Early: AW, HELL.
343
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:12,051
>> ♪ TONIGHT, I'M GONNA GIVE IT
344
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:13,553
A CHANCE ♪
345
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:20,960
>> Early: HMM.
346
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,528
THAT, UH -- THAT THERE WAS
347
00:09:22,595 --> 00:09:23,362
PRETTY GOOD.
348
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:24,897
BUT YOUR DAMN FACE SMELLS LIKE
349
00:09:24,964 --> 00:09:26,566
YOU BEEN ROOTING AROUND IN A
350
00:09:26,632 --> 00:09:27,433
DAMN DUMPSTER.
YOU GONNA HAVE TO WASH A HELL OF
351
00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:30,970
A LOT BETTER THAN YOU WASHING IF
352
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,638
YOU GONNA STAY MARRIED TO ME!
353
00:09:32,738 --> 00:09:33,406
[ BEAR ROARS ]
>> Early: NO, NO, NO, NO!
354
00:09:34,106 --> 00:09:34,974
[ SCREAMING ]
355
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:37,143
>> Rusty: BALL UP, DADDY!
356
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,945
[ BEARS ROARING ]
357
00:09:39,045 --> 00:09:40,813
>> [ SCREAMS ]
358
00:09:40,913 --> 00:09:42,281
>> [ GROANS ]
359
00:09:51,791 --> 00:09:52,491
>> Dan Halen: AND NOW PRESENTING
360
00:09:52,592 --> 00:09:54,594
MR. AND MRS. EARLY CUYLER.
361
00:09:54,660 --> 00:09:55,294
[ BEAR ROARS ]
>> Early: [ SCREAMS ]
362
00:09:56,295 --> 00:09:56,996
GET IT OFF ME!
363
00:09:57,096 --> 00:09:58,497
>> Dan Halen: THIS IS GOD'S
364
00:09:58,598 --> 00:09:59,899
PUNISHMENT FOR MARRIAGES THAT
365
00:09:59,966 --> 00:10:01,434
ARE NOT BETWEEN A MAN AND WOMAN!
366
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,001
>> Early: OH, JUST TURN IT OFF,
367
00:10:02,101 --> 00:10:03,769
PLEASE.
368
00:10:03,836 --> 00:10:04,937
>> Rusty: DON'T TALK NOW, DADDY.
369
00:10:05,004 --> 00:10:06,472
YOU'LL MESS UP THEM SKIN GRAFTS.
370
00:10:06,572 --> 00:10:07,907
>> Sheriff: WE ALL HAD TO GIVE
371
00:10:07,974 --> 00:10:08,741
SOME BUTT SKIN, EARLY, SO THAT
372
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:12,311
THEY COULD REBUILD YOUR FACE.
373
00:10:12,411 --> 00:10:15,848
>> Early: YEAH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.
374
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:16,983
THANK Y'ALL.
375
00:10:17,083 --> 00:10:19,085
I-I HAD A FEELING IN MY GUT THAT
376
00:10:19,151 --> 00:10:20,152
IT -- IT JUST WASN'T GONNA WORK
377
00:10:20,252 --> 00:10:22,822
OUT BETWEENST HER AND ME.
378
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:24,924
I JUST HOPE SHE FINDS HAPPINESS
379
00:10:24,991 --> 00:10:26,626
SOMEWHERE OUT THERE IN THE
380
00:10:26,692 --> 00:10:28,594
FOREST, FAR AWAY FROM MY ASS.
381
00:10:28,661 --> 00:10:30,630
>> Sheriff: WELL, YOU CAN TELL
382
00:10:30,696 --> 00:10:31,597
HER YOURSELF.
SHE'S RIGHT OUTSIDE.
383
00:10:32,298 --> 00:10:33,933
[ DOOR BANGING ]
384
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,267
>> Early: NO, DON'T LET HER IN
385
00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:36,102
HERE, NO.
386
00:10:36,168 --> 00:10:37,503
>> Sheriff: Y'ALL ARE MARRIED,
387
00:10:37,603 --> 00:10:38,871
SO SHE'S GOT VISITATION RIGHTS
388
00:10:38,971 --> 00:10:39,772
NOW.
389
00:10:39,839 --> 00:10:40,773
[ BEAR ROARS ]
390
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:42,508
>> Early: HEY, YOU'RE HERE.
391
00:10:42,608 --> 00:10:43,943
I-I-I FEEL THAT WE RUSHED INTO
392
00:10:44,010 --> 00:10:45,378
THIS.
393
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,278
[ SCREAMS ]
>> Rusty: WHOA, NOW, THAT BEAR'S
394
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:47,813
GOT HER A DING-A-LING!
>> Early: OH, NO!
395
00:10:48,614 --> 00:10:50,282
>> Granny: OH, MY GOD!
396
00:10:50,349 --> 00:10:52,718
{\an8}EARLY'S DIGGING ON A DUDE!
397
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:53,953
{\an8}>> Early: [ SCREAMS ]
398
00:10:54,020 --> 00:10:55,187
{\an8}>> Sheriff: WELL, EARLY, I-I
399
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:56,822
{\an8}GUESS YOU'RE GETTING GOD'S
400
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,624
{\an8}PUNISHMENT FOR TRYING TO MARRY A
401
00:10:58,691 --> 00:10:59,792
{\an8}GAY MAN BEAR.
402
00:10:59,859 --> 00:11:00,993
{\an8}>> GAY BEAR MARRIAGE AIN'T LEGAL
403
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:01,961
{\an8}IN THIS STATE.
404
00:11:02,028 --> 00:11:03,029
{\an8}>> Early: SOMEBODY PLEASE!
405
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,196
{\an8}>> Sheriff: OH, WELL, THAT MEANS
406
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,798
{\an8}THIS BEAR AIN'T GOT VISITATION
407
00:11:05,865 --> 00:11:06,732
{\an8}RIGHTS AT ALL, THEN.
>> Early: [ SCREAMS ]
408
00:11:07,733 --> 00:11:08,467
{\an8}[ MONITOR BEEPING ]
409
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:09,635
{\an8}>> Sheriff: SO, DENNY, GO ON
410
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:10,202
{\an8}OVER AND TELL THAT BEAR HE CAN'T
411
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:11,704
{\an8}VISIT NO MORE.
412
00:11:11,804 --> 00:11:12,471
{\an8}[ BEAR ROARS ]
>> HOW 'BOUT YOU TELL HIM?
413
00:11:13,406 --> 00:11:14,240
{\an8}>> Early: DAMN, GET HIM OFF, GET
HIM OFF!
414
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:15,741
{\an8}[ BEAR ROARS ]
>> Sheriff: LET'S LET THE NURSE
415
00:11:16,709 --> 00:11:18,978
{\an8}DO IT.
58935
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