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[ STATIC ]
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[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> ♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD AND
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BURIED ♪
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♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN WOULD
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JUST EXPLODE ♪
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♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME TO
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HIS KINGDOM ♪
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YEAH!
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♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF
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BITCHES WHEN I GO ♪
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♪ LET HIM GO ♪
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>> Rusty: MY TURN.
>> Early: HELL NO.
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>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT
THING!
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>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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>> [ HUMMING ]
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>> Early: OOH, YEAH.
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>> WHAT'S THAT?
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COME ON, NOW.
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PUT ON THESE HERE EDIBLES.
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>> AAH!
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>> Early: AW, COME ON, GLENN'S
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WIFE.
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BE A PROFESSIONAL, NOW.
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I'M SORRY, BUT THEM DAMN GRANNY
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PANTIES JUST WEREN'T GONNA DO IT
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FOR ME.
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DOUG WILL GET IT.
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>> Sheriff: THE THING IS, EARLY,
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DOUG AIN'T THE JUDGE HERE NO
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MORE.
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HE'S BEEN FORCED OFF THE BENCH.
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>> Early: WHAT THE HELL?!
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BUT DOUG WAS SO CHILL -- ALWAYS
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FORGIVIN' AND FORGETTIN'.
>> Sheriff: WELL, IT WAS
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ACTUALLY THAT FORGETTING PART HE
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GOT HIM IN TROUBLE.
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IT'S CALLED DEMENTIA.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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HE DIDN'T EVEN HAVE ANY IDEA WHO
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YOU WERE, WHAT YOU WAS UP TO --
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[ DOOR OPENS ]
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OOH. [ CLEARS THROAT ]
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ALL RISE FOR THE HONORABLE JUDGE
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QUINTAVIOUS JAMMER.
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>> NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO,
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NO, NO -- THE OTHER ONE.
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>> Sheriff: OH, OKAY.
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[ CLEARS THROAT ]
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"GET THEM ASSES OFF UP THEM
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PEWS.
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GET THEM ASSES UP, GIRL.
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GET 'EM UP.
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PUT THEM DAMN HANDS TOGETHER AND
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MAKE A CLAMOR FOR
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JUDGE QUINTAVIOUS "THE HAMMER"
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JAMMER-R-R-R-R-R-R-R!"
[ APPLAUSE ]
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>> OOH, YEAH! [ CHUCKLES ]
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KEEP THAT JAMMER CLAMOR GOING!
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>> Early: WHOO!
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>> ALL RIGHT, NO MORE JAMMER
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CLAMOR.
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WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?
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WHOO-WHEE!
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SOMEBODY BEEN CREEPING AROUND
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BEING SNEAKY AND FREAKY AND
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TAKING A PEAKY.
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>> Early: YOUR HONOR, ALL I WAS
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TRYING TO DO WAS SIMPLY SPICE UP
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MY RELATIONSHIP WITH GLENN'S
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WIFE.
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THIS HERE VIDEO WILL SHOW -- OH,
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LOOKY HERE.
IT'S BROKE.
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CASE CLOSED. CASE DISMISSED.
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Y'ALL SUMBITCHES AIN'T GOT
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NOTHING ON ME!
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>> I FIND YOU GUILTY AS CHARGED.
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>> Early: FINE, PUT ME IN JAIL.
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I CAN DO THE TIME STANDING ON MY
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HEAD.
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>> Sheriff: WHAT YOU WANT ON
THAT PIZZA, EARLY?
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>> Early: DOUBLE CHEESE,
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SAUSAGE, AND, UH, THEM CHEESY
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BREADS, TOO.
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>> NO, SIR!
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I'M NOT ALLOWING THE TAXPAYERS
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TO FOOT THE BILL FOR YOUR EVIL,
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EVIL WAYS -- NOT THIS TIME.
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IT WON'T BE NO MEAT-LOVER'S.
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WON'T BE NO DOUBLE-CHEESE.
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IT WON'T BE NO CHEESY BREAD.
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OH, I GOT SOME FOR YO ASS.
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IT'S ABOUT TO BE ON.
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>> Early: [ GULPS ]
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[ BELL RINGING ]
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"HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
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I REGARD WOMEN'S BEHINDS AND
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BOOBIES MORE THAN I REGARD THEIR
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RIGHT TO PRIVACY," BECAUSE I'M A
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RED-BLOODED AMERICAN MALE, AND I
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GOT NEEDS, DAMN IT!
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HELL, SHE SHOULD HAVE BEEN
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FLATTERED I TOOK INTEREST
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ANYHOW.
>> Sheriff: EARLY, LET'S STAY
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WITH THE COURT-APPOINTED TEXT.
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>> Early: WHY I GOT TO SAY ALL
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THIS?
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EVERYBODY KNOWS I'M A DIRTY-ASS
DOG.
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IT'S MY THANG.
>> Sheriff: WELL, JUDGE JAMMER
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WANTS YOU TO FEEL ASHAMED ABOUT
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WHAT YOU DONE.
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THAT'S WHY HE GIVES OUT THESE
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UNCONVENTIONAL SENTENCES.
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I ALSO THINK HE KIND OF GETS OFF
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ON SHAMING FOLK.
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EARLY?
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"HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
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I'M INTO BEIN' SHAMED."
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>> WELL, I'M A "HARLOT WITH LOW
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SELF-ESTEEM WHO DEGRADES HERSELF
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FOR MONEY."
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{\an8}>> Early: HELL YEAH, BABY.
I CAN READ.
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{\an8}OOH, YEAH!
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{\an8}OOH, YEAH, BABY!
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{\an8}>> Sheriff: EARLY? DARLA?
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>> Early: [ MOANS ]
>> Sheriff: Y'ALL SUPPOSED TO BE
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DOING THIS IN THE MIDDLE OF
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DOWNTOWN.
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>> Early: WHAT, THIS?
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>> Sheriff: NO, NOT THAT.
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THAT SHAME STUFF.
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>> Early: I'M CURED NOW.
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NOW, GET THE HELL OUT OF MY DAMN
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WAY, 'CAUSE I'M DRUNK AND PISSED
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AND NAKED, AND I'M DRIVING HOME.
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[ ENGINE REVS, TIRES SQUEAL ]
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[ ALL GASP ]
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>> [ BANGS GAVEL ]
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WETTIN' YOUR WHISTLE?
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LAUNCHIN' YOUR MISSILE INTO A
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PROSTITUTE'S GRISTLE?
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DAMN, BOY!
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WHAT YOU GOT TO SAY FOR
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YOURSELF?
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>> Early: [ SNIFFLES ]
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I'M SORRY, JUDGE, BUT [SNIFFLES]
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I FOUND JESUS.
>> THE HELL YOU DID!
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JESUS WOULDN'T BE A PART OF THIS
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SIN AND DEFILITY.
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>> Early: UH, PERMISSION TO
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APPROACH THE BITCH?
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[ LAUGHS ] I SAID "BITCH"!
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>> EXCUSE ME?
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>> Early: AW, HELL, HE DON'T GET
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IT.
>> YOU'RE DAMN LUCKY SOMEBODY
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WASN'T KILLED HERE.
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BUT WE'RE STILL GONNA HAVE A
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FUNERAL.
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OH, YES, SIR.
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YES, SIR, WE ARE.
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[ SOLEMN ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> Early: GOODBYE, PARTY LIQUOR.
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[ LIQUID POURS ]
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MAY THE FLOWERS ON THIS GRAVE BE
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FOREVER GETTIN' SIDEWAYS
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TONIGHT.
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BY ALL 180 PROOF OF YOURS.
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GOODBYE, METHAMPHETAMINE
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PUFFERY.
WHEN I WAS FEELING DOWN AND
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DEPRESSED, YOUR FUMES ALWAYS
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LIFTED ME UP AND FREED ME OF MY
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WORRIES, MY DIGNITY, AND MOST OF
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WHAT WAS IN MY BOWELS.
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>> Sheriff: EARLY! [ GRUNTS ]
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>> Early: I GOT TO HAVE ME SOME
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METH!
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THAT DARN PUBLIC TALKIN' MAKES
ME NERVOUS.
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>> Sheriff: GO AHEAD, EARLY.
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PUSH THE WHOLE METH LAB IN
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THERE.
>> Early: [ GRUNTS ]
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[ GLASS SHATTERS ]
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WHY CAN'T YOU JUST PUT ME IN
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JAIL?
I MEAN, Y'ALL GOT FREE PIZZA
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PIES IN THERE.
>> Sheriff: NOW TOSS IN YOUR
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TRUCK KEYS.
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JUDGE JAMMER DON'T WANT YOU ON
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THE ROAD.
>> Early: UGH.
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DAMN.
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>> Sheriff: [ SIGHS ]
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THOSE WERE MY KEYS, WEREN'T
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THEY?
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>> Early: I RECKON THEY WAS.
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>> Rusty: WHOO-HOO!
WE GOT US A FREE COFFEE TABLE,
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Y'ALL!
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HOT DAMN!
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>> Sheriff: IT'S A COFFIN.
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SEE?
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>> I JUST WANTED ONE MORE...
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FOR THE ROAD.
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>> Sheriff: JUDGE ORDERED Y'ALL
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TO KEEP IT IN HERE FOR FIVE
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YEARS AS A REMINDER THAT
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DRINKING AND DRUGGING AND
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DRIVING LEAD TO DYING.
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>> Early: PRETTY SOON, YOU'LL BE
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SAYIN' HUFFIN'S PART OF THE DAMN
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DEAL, WON'T YOU?
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>> Sheriff: SORRY, BUD.
>> Early: [ GRUNTS ]
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>> Sheriff: GIVE ME.
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>> Early: FINE, THEN!
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BUT MARK MY WORDS -- THIS ENDS
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TODAY.
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[ DOOR SLAMS ]
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TODAY!
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>> Sheriff: HMM. THAT'S OMINOUS.
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>> Early: UH, I-- IS THE JUDGE
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IN?
[ HIGH-PITCHED BEEPING ]
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OH, THAT'S MY READING GLASSES.
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[ CHUCKLES ]
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I CAN'T SEE A DURN THING WITHOUT
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THEM.
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UH, SAY, IS THE JUDGE IN?
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[ BEEPING RESUMES ]
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>> HOW ABOUT YOU HOP IN THE
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00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:58,324
X-RAY BIN, PLEASE?
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>> Early: [ GRUNTS ]
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IS THE JUDGE IN?
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WHAT TIME DOES JUDGE GET HERE?
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I-I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HIM?
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[ GROANS ]
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>> SON, DO YOU REALIZE I COULD
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PUT YOU AWAY FOR THIS?
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00:06:08,835 --> 00:06:09,569
>> Early: YOU COULD?
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WOULD YOU CONSIDER DOING THAT?
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I MEAN, Y'ALL GOT THE FREE PIZZA
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PIES AND ALL.
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I MEAN, THAT THERE WILL TEACH
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ME.
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>> YOU LOVES YOU SOME PIZZA,
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DON'T YOU?
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>> Early: YES, SIR, I DO.
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>> AND YOU GOT THE PROCLIVITY
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FOR STUFFING ITEMS UP INSIDE
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YOUR BUNGHOLE, DON'T YOU?
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>> Early: WELL, WHERE ARE YOU
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GOING WITH THIS?
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AAH!
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DAMN, THAT'S HOT!
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BLOW ON IT!
>> Rusty: I'M SORRY, DADDY.
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>> Early: [ GROANS ]
>> Rusty: THAT JUDGE SAYS IT'S
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GOT TO BE PIPIN' HOT.
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>> Early: DAMN!
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IT'S GONNA BURN THE SKIN OFF THE
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ROOF OF MY BUTT.
>> Rusty: ALL RIGHT, NOW.
255
00:06:37,230 --> 00:06:37,964
THE JUDGE SAID I GOT TO ADD THE
WILD BOY BREAD.
256
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:39,432
>> Early: WHY THE HELL IS THIS
257
00:06:39,532 --> 00:06:40,700
HAPPENING TO ME?!
258
00:06:40,767 --> 00:06:41,601
>> Rusty: WELL, WHY IS IT
HAPPENING TO ME?
259
00:06:42,368 --> 00:06:42,869
THAT'S MY QUESTION.
>> Early: OOH!
260
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:44,203
>> Rusty: WHERE'S THE DAMN
261
00:06:44,270 --> 00:06:45,371
SHERIFF?
262
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:46,572
>> Sheriff: "HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
263
00:06:46,639 --> 00:06:48,408
INSTEAD OF STOPPING A ROBBERY IN
264
00:06:48,474 --> 00:06:50,610
PROGRESS, I WAS CHANGING MY
265
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:52,879
PROFILE PIC TO A KITTY DRESSED
266
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:54,414
AS A JEDI.
267
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,882
I'M A SORRY EXCUSE FOR A
268
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:56,649
LAWMAN."
>> Early: UNH-UNH.
269
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:58,718
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING THAT
270
00:06:58,785 --> 00:06:59,452
IN THE CENTER OF TOWN, HOSS --
271
00:06:59,552 --> 00:07:00,887
IN FRONT OF THE LORD AND
272
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:01,921
EVERYBODY.
273
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:02,722
>> Sheriff: YEAH, WELL, THERE'S
SO MANY PUNISHMENTS GOING ON
274
00:07:03,656 --> 00:07:04,590
DOWNTOWN THAT THEY GOT TO SPREAD
275
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,159
US OUT.
276
00:07:06,259 --> 00:07:06,893
[ BELLS RINGING ]
277
00:07:06,959 --> 00:07:08,294
>> "HEAR YE, HEAR YE."
278
00:07:08,394 --> 00:07:08,795
I WAS ONLY TRYING TO SPICE UP MY
279
00:07:08,895 --> 00:07:10,596
MARRIAGE.
280
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:11,063
>> I DIDN'T EVEN REALLY WANT TO
281
00:07:11,130 --> 00:07:12,398
DO IT.
282
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:13,666
>> ALL I DID WAS PARK IN A
283
00:07:13,766 --> 00:07:15,401
HANDICAPPED SPACE WITHOUT A
284
00:07:15,468 --> 00:07:16,269
PERMIT!
THIS WAS THE ONLY SIGN THEY HAD
285
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,438
LEFT.
286
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:21,741
>> FOOT-LONG HOAGIE, $6.99, WITH
287
00:07:21,808 --> 00:07:24,410
YOUR CHOICE OF CHIPS AND DRINK.
288
00:07:24,477 --> 00:07:25,411
>> YEAH, LET'S DO THIS
289
00:07:25,478 --> 00:07:26,612
MEATBALL-HOAGIE DEAL ANOTHER
290
00:07:26,679 --> 00:07:27,580
DAY.
I THINK WE'RE GETTING LOST IN
291
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:29,682
THE SHUFFLE HERE.
292
00:07:29,782 --> 00:07:30,917
>> Sheriff: THAT JUDGE JAMMER'S
293
00:07:30,983 --> 00:07:32,018
GOT A BEE IN HIS BONNET.
294
00:07:32,118 --> 00:07:33,286
THAT'S FOR DAMN SURE.
295
00:07:33,352 --> 00:07:34,086
>> Granny: "HEAR YE, HEAR YE.
296
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:36,756
I LIKE TO PEEP ME SOME WOMEN
297
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:37,590
WHILE THEY'S TRYING ON
298
00:07:37,657 --> 00:07:39,792
BRASSIERES AT THE BALL MART!"
299
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:41,427
>> Early: AW, HELL, GRANNY.
300
00:07:41,494 --> 00:07:42,261
I TOLD YOU I HAD VIDEO OF IT.
301
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:44,964
>> Granny: WELL, YOU PRATTLED ON
302
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:45,932
ABOUT IT SO MUCH, I FIGURED I'LL
303
00:07:45,998 --> 00:07:47,767
GIVE IT A WHIRL.
304
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:48,601
>> Sheriff: I HATE TO SAY IT,
305
00:07:48,668 --> 00:07:50,603
BUT SOMETHING'S GOT TO BE DONE
306
00:07:50,670 --> 00:07:51,437
ABOUT JUDGE JAMMER.
307
00:07:51,504 --> 00:07:53,973
IF HE'S GONNA SHAME US, WE'RE
308
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:56,309
GONNA HAVE TO SHAME HIM.
309
00:07:56,375 --> 00:07:57,610
>> Early: NOW, I'VE ALWAYS HEARD
310
00:07:57,677 --> 00:07:58,711
THAT A GOOD WAY TO GET A JUDGE
311
00:07:58,811 --> 00:08:00,446
OUT OF OFFICE IS TO CATCH HIM IN
312
00:08:00,513 --> 00:08:02,782
BED WITH A DEAD WOMAN OR A LIVE
313
00:08:02,849 --> 00:08:03,983
BOY.
314
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,451
[ GUN COCKS ]
315
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:06,486
Y'ALL WORK IT OUT AMONGST
316
00:08:06,552 --> 00:08:08,788
YOURSELVES.
317
00:08:13,025 --> 00:08:14,460
>> Granny: THE HELL YOU DOING,
318
00:08:14,527 --> 00:08:15,294
LITTLE BOY?
319
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,496
>> Rusty: OH, COME ON, GRANNY.
320
00:08:16,562 --> 00:08:17,697
YOU'VE LIVED SUCH A LONG AND
321
00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:18,698
RICH LIFE.
322
00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:19,899
>> Granny: AND THERE'S PLENTY
323
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:20,733
DAMN MORE LEFT IN THE TANK!
324
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,635
ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS LAY DOWN
325
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:23,836
NAKED WITH THE MAN FOR A FEW
326
00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,705
PHOTOS...
327
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:26,672
MAYBE A LITTLE ASS PLAY.
328
00:08:26,739 --> 00:08:27,974
>> Rusty: OH, THE HELL YOU SAY!
329
00:08:28,040 --> 00:08:28,641
>> Granny: THE HELL YOU SAY!
330
00:08:28,708 --> 00:08:29,876
GIVE ME THAT THING!
331
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:30,676
>> Sheriff: WHEN I SAID SHAME,
EARLY, I-I WAS THINKING MORE
332
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,646
LIKE WE'D JUST GET AHOLD OF HIS
333
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:34,881
TAX RECORDS OR SOMETHING.
334
00:08:34,981 --> 00:08:35,715
[ CHUCKLES ] MAYBE GET HIS
335
00:08:35,815 --> 00:08:37,550
HIGH-SCHOOL-YEARBOOK PHOTO AND
336
00:08:37,650 --> 00:08:38,684
PUT IT UP ON A BIG OLD
337
00:08:38,751 --> 00:08:39,385
BILLBOARD.
[ GUNSHOT, THUDDING ]
338
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,520
>> Early: WELL, SOUNDS LIKE
339
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:42,655
SOMEBODY'S HASHED OUT A
340
00:08:42,722 --> 00:08:43,990
COMPROMISE.
341
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,692
>> Granny: SAY...YOU'LL...DO IT!
342
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:47,660
>> Rusty: I'LL DO IT!
>> Granny: [ SIGHS ]
343
00:08:48,694 --> 00:08:50,930
THAT'S MY LITTLE BITCH.
344
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:54,901
>> Early: ALL RIGHT, DISROBE
345
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,836
YOURSELF.
346
00:08:56,903 --> 00:08:58,371
NOW, WE'RE GONNA SNEAK UP IN HIS
347
00:08:58,437 --> 00:08:59,238
BEDROOM, AND YOU GET IN CLOSE TO
348
00:08:59,338 --> 00:09:01,507
HIM, WRAP YOUR ARMS AROUND HIM.
349
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:02,008
WE'RE GONNA SNAP A FEW SHOTS,
350
00:09:02,074 --> 00:09:03,209
AND WE OUT.
351
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:05,845
MIGHT BE A LITTLE ASS PLAY.
352
00:09:05,912 --> 00:09:06,779
>> Rusty: DAMN IT, I KNOW!
I KNOW!
353
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:08,180
>> Early: Shh!
[ GRUNTS ]
354
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:09,749
>> Rusty: HOLD ON!
[ ALARM BLARES ]
355
00:09:10,550 --> 00:09:11,350
DAMN, DADDY!
>> Early: STOP BITCHING AND OPEN
356
00:09:12,184 --> 00:09:12,919
THE DOOR.
I AIN'T GOING THROUGH NO DAMN
357
00:09:13,553 --> 00:09:14,020
PLATE GLASS.
358
00:09:14,086 --> 00:09:15,922
[ BEEPING ]
359
00:09:16,022 --> 00:09:17,089
>> WHAT THE HELL? HOLD ON.
360
00:09:17,189 --> 00:09:18,224
FEATHERS DOWN.
361
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:21,527
WHO DARES ENTER THE SACRED REALM
362
00:09:21,594 --> 00:09:22,295
OF THE
363
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:24,030
NAKED-TICKLE-PARTY/POTLUCK
364
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:27,099
FUNDRAISER FOR CYSTIC FIBROSIS?
365
00:09:27,199 --> 00:09:29,235
SHOW THYSELF!
366
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:31,637
>> Sheriff: UH, I DIDN'T SEE
367
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:32,438
NOTHING.
IT'S JUST ME, JUDGE JAMMER.
368
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:33,973
>> WHOA!
THERE'S NO JUDGE JAMMER HERE.
369
00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:36,075
HE-- HE'S MOVED.
370
00:09:36,142 --> 00:09:37,143
UH, HE'S RENTING THIS PLACE OUT
371
00:09:37,243 --> 00:09:38,044
FOR THIS, UH...
372
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:39,912
>> [ Muffled ] IT'S A
373
00:09:39,979 --> 00:09:40,780
FANTASY-FOOTBALL DRAFT.
374
00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:41,981
>> YEAH, THAT'S WHAT IT IS -- A
375
00:09:42,081 --> 00:09:42,949
FANTASY-FOOTBALL DRAFT.
I'LL TAKE ICKEY WOODS.
376
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:44,717
[ CHUCKLES ] GIVE ME
ICKEY WOODS.
377
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,218
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> Early: THERE YOU GO.
378
00:09:47,053 --> 00:09:47,720
>> HOLD -- HOLD ON. NO!
379
00:09:47,787 --> 00:09:48,888
NOBODY SAID NOTHING ABOUT
380
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:49,889
CAMERAS!
381
00:09:49,956 --> 00:09:50,756
>> WELL, WE BETTER GET GOING.
382
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:51,757
>> Dan Halen: YEAH, I'VE GOT TO
383
00:09:51,824 --> 00:09:52,391
GET GOING, AS WELL -- HYAH!
384
00:09:52,458 --> 00:09:53,593
>> [ WHINNIES ]
385
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:54,427
>> DON'T GO!
>> Rusty: I STILL GOT TO TOUCH
386
00:09:55,127 --> 00:09:55,995
HIS BUTT?
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
387
00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:57,763
>> Early: YEAH, LET'S GET A
COUPLE JUST TO BE SAFE.
388
00:09:58,798 --> 00:09:59,599
>> ARREST HIM, SHERIFF.
389
00:09:59,665 --> 00:10:00,633
HE'S BREAKING AND ENTERING.
390
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:01,834
>> Sheriff: WELL, I'M AN UNFIT
391
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,636
LAWMAN, THOUGH, REMEMBER?
392
00:10:03,736 --> 00:10:04,570
MMM.
IS THIS MEATLESS?
393
00:10:05,404 --> 00:10:06,072
[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]
>> [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ]
394
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:07,840
ALL RIGHT. OKAY.
395
00:10:07,940 --> 00:10:09,008
ALL RIGHT, GUYS.
396
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,109
THERE'S GOT TO BE A WAY WE CAN
397
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:11,944
WORK THIS OUT, HUH?
398
00:10:12,011 --> 00:10:12,912
>> Sheriff: [ BANGS GAVEL ]
399
00:10:12,979 --> 00:10:14,814
ALL RISE FOR THE HONORABLE
400
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:16,248
JUDGE DOUGLAS PEPPERS.
401
00:10:16,315 --> 00:10:18,784
WELCOME BACK, DOUG.
402
00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:19,585
>> WHO'S DOUG?
403
00:10:19,652 --> 00:10:21,687
>> Sheriff: UH, THAT'S YOU.
404
00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:22,588
>> Early: DOUG!
MY MAN!
405
00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:24,023
WELCOME BACK, HOSS!
406
00:10:24,123 --> 00:10:26,926
>> DOUG, WELCOME BACK.
407
00:10:26,993 --> 00:10:27,760
>> Sheriff: LET ME JUST FLIP
408
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,595
THIS NAMEPLATE AROUND FOR YOU.
409
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:30,196
>> OH, THANK YOU, DOUG.
410
00:10:30,296 --> 00:10:33,366
{\an8}[ GAVEL BANGING ]
411
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,104
{\an8}WHAT SONG IS THIS?
412
00:10:38,170 --> 00:10:41,440
{\an8}[ BANGING CONTINUES ]
413
00:10:47,847 --> 00:10:48,781
{\an8}>> Sheriff: YOU CAN PROBABLY
414
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:51,651
{\an8}JUST GO HOME, EARLY.
415
00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:52,284
{\an8}[ DOOR OPENS ]
416
00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:53,719
{\an8}[ DOOR CLOSES ]
417
00:10:53,819 --> 00:10:56,522
{\an8}>> NOW THE DRUM SOLO!
60794
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