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[ STATIC ]
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[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> ♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD AND
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BURIED ♪
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♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN WOULD
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JUST EXPLODE ♪
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♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME TO
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HIS KINGDOM ♪
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♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF
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BITCHES WHEN I GO ♪
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[ YODELING ]
>> Rusty: MY TURN.
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>> Early: HELL NO.
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>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE THAT
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THING!
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>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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COME ON BACK. YOU GOT PLENTY.
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[ TRUCK BEEPING ]
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BACKER. MORE BACKER.
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>> Rusty: I THINK MY WHEELS IS
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SPINNIN'.
>> Rusty: DAMN IT.
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KEEP IT COMIN'. COME ON!
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>> Rusty: ALL RIGHT, HERE IT
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COMES.
>> Early: COME ON, YOU STILL GOT
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THIS FAR.
>> Granny: I'M IN HERE.
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>> Early: KEEP IT COMING.
KEEP IT COMING. KEEP IT COMING.
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WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
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WHAT THE HELL?!
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I SAID YOU WAS CLOSE,
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DAMN LEAD FOOT!
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>> Granny: GET DOWN!
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IT'S A TWISTER EVERYBODY!
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>> Early: GO ON, DO THE HORN!
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>> Rusty: THE BOOK SAYS I'M
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SUPPOSED TO SECURE THE PARKING
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BRAKE --
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>> Early: DO THE HORN!
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COME ON! DO THE HORN!
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>> Rusty: ALL RIGHT.
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[ HORN BLARES ]
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>> Early: YEAH! WHOO! YEAH!
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HELL YEAH! WHOO, BABY! YEAH!
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>> Rusty: OH, MAN, THIS IS MY
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STUDY TRUCK.
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IF I SCRATCH THIS THING, THEY
AIN'T GONNA GIVE ME MY CDL.
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>> Early: CDL?
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>> Rusty: YEAH, COMMERCIAL
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DRIVER'S LICENSE.
>> Early: [ CHUCKLES ]
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THINKS HE'S GONNA GET HIM A DAMN
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CDL.
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>> Granny: [ LAUGHS ]
>> Rusty: YOU SAYING I AIN'T
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GOT WHAT IT TAKES TO BE ONE OF
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THEM INTERSTATE TRUCKERS?
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>> Early: HELL, LOOK WHAT YOU
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JUST DONE TO THE HOUSE.
YOU A DAMN MENACE.
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>> Rusty: BUT, DADDY...
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I DREAM OF GETTIN' THE HELL OUT
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OF THIS TOWN...
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AND THEN COME BACK 18 HOURS
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LATER, PICK UP ANOTHER LOAD, AND
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THEN GETTIN' THE HELL OUT OF
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THIS TOWN AGAIN...
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AND THEN DO THAT REPEATEDLY FOR
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THE REST OF MY LIFE.
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>> Granny: LOOK AROUND YOU, BOY.
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THIS IS YOUR HOME.
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>> Early: JUST WHY IN THE HELL
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WOULD YOU WANT TO LEAVE THIS
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SUMBITCHIN' GARDEN OF EDEN?
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[ SLAP! ]
HUH?
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>> Rusty: UH, DADDY --
>> Early: HUH?
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>> Rusty: I DON'T KNOW WHAT --
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>> Early: HUH? TELL ME.
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>> Granny: TRUCKIN' AIN'T
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NOTHIN' BUT A PIPE DREAM.
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>> Early: HELL, WHY DON'T YOU
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JUST GROW YOURSELF A BEARD AND
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JOIN THE ZZ TOP?
>> Rusty: WHAT ARE --
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>> Early: WHY DON'T YOU THEN?
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>> Rusty: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING,
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DADDY?
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>> Early: SON, YOU NEED TO
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CHOOSE A SAFE CAREER PATH, LIKE
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DOING THEM WEIRD MOUNTAIN
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CARVINGS OF JESUS CHRIST,
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LORD ALMIGHTY.
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>> Granny: WE NEED PRODUCT!
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WE GOT A BUS TOUR COMIN'
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THROUGH.
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>> Early: AIN'T NO DAMN FUTURE
IN TRUCKIN'.
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>> Rusty: AND WHAT THE HELL YOU
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KNOW ABOUT TRUCKIN' IN THE BIG
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RIGS?
>> Early: WELL, NOW, THAT
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THERE'S A QUESTION FOR MY C.B.
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HANDLE -- THE SCRAMBLER.
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>> Rusty: YOU WERE THE
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SCRAMBLER?
>> Early: OH, NAW.
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THE SECRET IS OUT.
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>> Rusty: THE SAME SCRAMBLER WHO
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CAUSED THE LARGEST ENVIRONMENTAL
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DISASTER IN MODERN TRUCKIN'
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HISTORY?
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>> Early: AW, THEM WASHINGTON
HIPPIES LOVE TO HAMMER MY ASS
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WITH THAT ONE.
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HELL, IT SEEMS LIKE IT WAS ONLY
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A WEEK AGO, BUT...
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BUT IT WAS ACTUALLY NINE DAYS
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AGO.
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AT THE TIME, I WAS WORKING OVER
AT THE D.H.I.
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>> Dan Halen: SO HOW DID THE,
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UH, BRAINSTORM MEETING GO?
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DID YOU AND YOUR "THINKING
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PARTNER" MANAGE TO FIGURE OUT
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HOW TO GET RID OF ALL THIS TOXIC
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WASTE?
>> UH, YEAH.
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[ CLEARS THROAT ]
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I THOUGHT, UH -- I THOUGHT WE
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WOULD DO LIKE A, UH, GIVEAWAY.
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>> Dan Halen: A GIVEAWAY OF
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TOXIC WASTE?
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>> YEAH. I MEAN, P-PEOPLE LOVE
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FREE STUFF.
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>> Dan Halen: STOP TALKING.
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WHERE IS THE OTHER HALF OF THE
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BRAIN TRUST?
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>> HE SAID HE WAS GONNA WORK,
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UH, REMOTELY OR REMOTE, OR --
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SOMETHING ABOUT A REMOTE.
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[ REMOTE CLICKING ]
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>> Early: DAMN!
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THIS SUMBITCH WILL CHANGE
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CHANNELS RIGHT THROUGH THE AIR.
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WHOO!
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>> GATHER AROUND THE TELEVISIONMOTHER-TRUCKERS, CAUSE IT'S
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"TRUCKER TUESDAY" ON THE
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NITWIT NETWORK.
[ HORN BLARES ]
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"TRUCKER TUESDAY" IS ALL CLYDE
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ALL THE TIME.
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>> Early: YOU GOT THE SCRAMBLER
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COMING IN LOUD AND PROUD, BABY.
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MY EARS IS ON.
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>> Dan Halen: Early, it's Dan.
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Where is your proposal for the
toxic-waste removal?
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>> Early: I'M SICK.
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I GOT [COUGHS] A 10-100 IN
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PROGRESS.
[ Coughing ]
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>> Dan Halen: HMM.
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TRUCKER SLANG FOR DIARRHEA.
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>> PUT THE HAMMER DOWN FOR 22
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STRAIGHT HOURS OF TRUCKER
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MOVIES.
>> Dan Halen: You're watching
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the "Trucker Tuesday" marathon,
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aren't you?
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>> Early: THAT'S A NEGATIVE.
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UH, NEGATORY.
UH, TUESDAY'S MY DAY TO DEAL
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WITH CLIENTS.
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I CAN'T BE THERE. OVER.
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>> Dan Halen: OH, REALLY?
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WHAT ARE THE NAMES OF THESE
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CLIENTS?
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>> Early: Well, there's, uh, the
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snowman, uh, Sally Field.
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>> Dan Halen: WELL, YOU'VE
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CLEARLY GOT YOUR HANDS FULL,
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EARLY.
I GUESS THIS BIG-RIG
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CROSS-COUNTRY CHALLENGE WILL
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HAVE TO GO TO GLENN.
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>> ALL RIGHT.
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>> Early: Wait a minute.
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WHAT BIG-RIG CROSS-COUNTRY
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CHALLENGE?
>> Dan Halen: OH, ONLY THAT YOU
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CAN'T TAKE A LOAD OF
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FLASH-FROZEN FREEDOM FRIES TO
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PARIS, FRANCE, IN 18 HOURS FLAT.
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>> THAT -- THAT CAN'T BE DONE.
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>> Dan Halen: THAT'S RIGHT,
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GLENN.
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THEY SAY IT CAN'T BE DONE.
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>> Early: Hell, ain't but one
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man I know that can pull that
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off...
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THE SCRAMBLER.
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18 HOURS TO PARIS, FRANCE?
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HELL, THERE AIN'T NOTHING CAN
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STOP THE SCRAMBLER.
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WELL, EXCEPT FOR THIS LARGE WET
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AREA HERE, WHICH IS SHOWING UP
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HERE ON THE MAP IN BLUE.
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>> DAN HALEN: WE REALLY NEED TO
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BE GOING, BUT I'M -- I'M PRETTY
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SURE THEY'VE FIXED THE BRIDGE.
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>> EARLY: WELL, WE WASTING TIME
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A-JIBBER-JABBERIN' OUR JAWS
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THEN.
HELL, I'M TAKIN' THIS
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FREEDOM-FRY LOAD STRAIGHT UP TO
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THE HAMMER LANE, BABY, ALL THE
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WAY TO FROG CITY!
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>> Dan Halen: SURE, WHATEVER.
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JUST GET IT OUT OF HERE.
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>> ♪ HE'S A FRANCE-BOUND CLOWN ♪
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♪ WITH THE HAMMER TO THE
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GROUND ♪
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♪ HE'S DOING SOMETHING THEY SAID
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HE COULD NEVER DO ♪
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♪ YES, HE'S A FRANCE-BOUND
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CLOWN ♪
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♪ WITH THE HAMMER ON THE
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GROUND ♪
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♪ LOOK OUT, FRENCHY, SCRAMBLER'S
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COMIN' THROUGH ♪
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♪ HE'S GOT ONE HAND ON THE
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THROTTLE AND ANOTHER HAND ON THE
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BRAKE ♪
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♪ AND ANOTHER HAND ON THE PILLS
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THAT HELP YOU STAY AWAKE ♪
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♪ HE'S DRIVING ACROSS THEM
WHITE-SAND BEACHES ♪
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>> Early: OH, NO!
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THE DAMN BRIDGE IS OUT!
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>> AAH!
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>> ♪ WATCH THAT TRUNK OF PILLS
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THE SCRAMBLER PULLS ♪
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[ SEAGULLS SQUAWKING ]
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>> Dan Halen: WELL, YOU DID IT,
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EARLY.
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AND TO THINK THEY SAID IT
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COULDN'T BE DONE.
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>> Early: YEAH.
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I GUESS I DID.
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UH, NOBODY CALLED FROM FRANCE,
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RIGHT?
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>> Dan Halen: ARE YOU UP FOR A
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DOUBLE OR NOTHING, SCRAMBLER?
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00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:23,189
>> Early: WELL, WHAT'S IT GONNA
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BE THIS TIME, BOSS MAN?
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>> Dan Halen: AH, HELL, I DON'T
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CARE.
>> Early: GOIN' TO FRANCE?
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>> Dan Halen: SURE, SURE.
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YES. FRANCE, YES.
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NOW, GO ON WITH YOU.
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[ DOOR CREAKS ]
>> Early: YOU AIN'T SAID IT
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CAN'T BE DONE YET.
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>> Dan Halen: YES, YES, YES.
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IT, UH -- IT CAN'T BE DONE AND
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ALL THAT.
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>> Early: THEY SAID IT CAN'T BE
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DONE.
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HELL, I'LL SHOW THEM!
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COME ON, NOW! LET'S GO!
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[ TRUCK BEEPING ]
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[ TIRES SQUEAL ]
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WHAT THE...
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THE BRIDGE IS STILL OUT.
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AAAAH!
253
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:55,421
I HAD OL' JOHNNY LAW COMIN' AND
254
00:05:55,521 --> 00:05:57,924
GOIN', BABY, BUT I HAD THE BEST
255
00:05:58,024 --> 00:05:59,559
BLOCKER IN THE BUSINESS TO RUN
256
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:00,393
INTERFERENCE.
[ SIREN WAILS ]
257
00:06:01,327 --> 00:06:01,928
HEY, MUMMY, WHAT'S THE 10-9 ON
258
00:06:02,028 --> 00:06:03,863
THE BEARS BACK THERE?
259
00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:04,997
>> Granny: WE GOT A CITY KITTY
260
00:06:05,064 --> 00:06:05,932
ON THE 6:00 SCRAMBLER.
261
00:06:06,032 --> 00:06:07,400
YOU BETTER DROP IT DOWN TO
262
00:06:07,500 --> 00:06:08,601
DOUBLE NICKELS, COME BACK?
263
00:06:08,701 --> 00:06:09,435
>> Early: HELL NO.
264
00:06:09,535 --> 00:06:10,603
I GOT THE HAMMER DOWN NOW.
265
00:06:10,703 --> 00:06:11,104
SEE IF YOU CAN SHAKE THAT
266
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:12,605
SMOKEY.
267
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:13,573
I'M ABOUT TO STAND ON IT. OVER.
268
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:14,941
>> Granny: I'D LOVE TO HELP YOU,
269
00:06:15,041 --> 00:06:16,075
GOOD BUDDY, BUT YOU TIED ME TO
270
00:06:16,175 --> 00:06:17,343
THE BACK OF THE TRUCK.
271
00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,711
>> Sheriff: DENNY, I GOT EYES ON
272
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:19,912
THE SCRAMBLER, AND HE'S RUNNIN'
273
00:06:20,012 --> 00:06:20,880
WITH THE MUMMY.
ARE YOU IN POSITION, SON?
274
00:06:21,748 --> 00:06:22,515
>> I DONE THE BEST I COULD.
275
00:06:22,582 --> 00:06:24,584
YOU DIDN'T LEAVE ME NO CAR TO
276
00:06:24,684 --> 00:06:25,351
DO A ROADBLOCK.
277
00:06:25,418 --> 00:06:26,552
>> Sheriff: I GET THE CAR,
278
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:27,420
DENNY.
WE GOT A SMALL TAX BASE HERE IN
279
00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:28,921
DOUGAL COUNTY.
280
00:06:29,021 --> 00:06:30,390
OH, DENNY, YOU GOT TO BLOCK THE
281
00:06:30,456 --> 00:06:31,891
WHOLE ROAD, NOT JUST ONE LANE.
282
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:33,459
>> Granny: SCRAMBLER, I SEE SOME
283
00:06:33,559 --> 00:06:34,293
DAYLIGHT.
284
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:35,395
YOU JUST HAVE TO CHANGE LANES.
285
00:06:35,461 --> 00:06:36,629
>> Early: NEGATORY, MUMMY!
286
00:06:36,729 --> 00:06:37,697
WE'RE GONNA TAKE THIS
287
00:06:37,764 --> 00:06:38,798
CONVENIENTLY PLACED CAR
288
00:06:38,898 --> 00:06:39,932
TRANSPORT WITH THE RAMP DOWN.
289
00:06:40,032 --> 00:06:40,733
>> Sheriff: OH, HELL!
290
00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,468
DENNY GET THAT CONVENIENTLY
291
00:06:42,568 --> 00:06:43,970
PLACED CAR TRANSPORT WITH THE
292
00:06:44,070 --> 00:06:45,438
RAMP DOWN OUT OF THERE, BUD.
293
00:06:45,538 --> 00:06:46,806
>> Early: HANG TIGHT, MUMMY.
294
00:06:46,906 --> 00:06:47,707
WE'LL SEE IF HE WANTS TO DANCE
295
00:06:47,774 --> 00:06:49,742
THE DOUGAL DO-SI-DO, GREASY SIDE
296
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:50,610
UP, BABY!
[ HORN BLARES ]
297
00:06:51,210 --> 00:06:52,812
HELL YEAH!
298
00:06:52,912 --> 00:06:54,580
>> Granny: AAAAH!
299
00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:55,882
>> Early: WHOO!
300
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:58,451
WE JUMPED OVER 27 FLAMING SCHOOL
301
00:06:58,551 --> 00:06:59,786
BUSES AND LANDED CLEAN ON 18
302
00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:02,155
WHEELS.
303
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:02,955
[ GROANS ]
I THINK WE LOST HIM. OVER.
304
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:05,658
[ STATIC ]
305
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,560
>> Granny: WHY ARE WE STOPPING?
306
00:07:07,627 --> 00:07:08,995
ARE WE AT THE DOCTOR'S?
307
00:07:09,095 --> 00:07:11,397
>> Early: UH-OH.
308
00:07:11,464 --> 00:07:12,665
>> Sheriff: UH, HEY, EARLY?
309
00:07:12,765 --> 00:07:13,966
>> Early: OH, THAT'S WHERE THAT
310
00:07:14,066 --> 00:07:14,734
WENT.
THANK YOU, HOSS.
311
00:07:15,635 --> 00:07:16,769
>> Sheriff: [ CLEARS THROAT ]
312
00:07:16,836 --> 00:07:17,737
LICENSE AND REGISTRATION,
313
00:07:17,804 --> 00:07:18,738
PLEASE.
314
00:07:18,805 --> 00:07:19,972
>> Early: OH. OH, YEAH, THAT.
315
00:07:20,072 --> 00:07:21,140
UH, JUST A MINUTE.
316
00:07:21,240 --> 00:07:22,074
[ WINDOW WHIRS ]
317
00:07:22,141 --> 00:07:23,576
BREAKER, BREAKER, 1-9.
318
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:25,011
I GOT ME A FULL-GROWN BEAR ON MY
319
00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:26,746
ASS LIKE A BUMPER STICKER.
320
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:27,513
ALL YOU MOTHER-TRUCKERS OUT
321
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,749
THERE, I NEED ME A CONVOY.
322
00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:30,416
DO YOU COPY?
323
00:07:30,483 --> 00:07:32,685
[ ENGINE SPUTTERS ]
324
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:34,687
>> Sheriff: EARLY? EARLY?
325
00:07:34,787 --> 00:07:35,755
TURN IT OFF.
326
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:36,823
[ SPUTTERING STOPS ]
327
00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:37,857
LOOK, I NEED TO TELL YOU
328
00:07:37,957 --> 00:07:38,825
SOMETHING.
>> Early: WHAT?
329
00:07:39,792 --> 00:07:40,493
>> Sheriff: YOU REMEMBER
330
00:07:40,593 --> 00:07:42,495
SHERIFF BUFORD T. JUSTICE?
331
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:43,996
"SON, I'M GONNA GO HOME AND
332
00:07:44,096 --> 00:07:45,698
PUNCH YOUR MAMA IN THE MOUTH."
333
00:07:45,798 --> 00:07:47,533
YOU REMEMBER WHEN HE SAID THAT?
334
00:07:47,633 --> 00:07:48,134
[ LAUGHS ]
>> Early: YEAH.
335
00:07:49,035 --> 00:07:49,936
>> Sheriff: I HOPE HE DIDN'T,
336
00:07:50,002 --> 00:07:51,704
THOUGH.
337
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,039
THAT'D BE DOMESTIC VIOLENCE AND
338
00:07:53,139 --> 00:07:54,040
ALL.
339
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,475
>> Early: SOON, I FELL INTO ALL
340
00:07:55,541 --> 00:07:57,043
THE EXPENSIVE TRAPPINGS OF THE
341
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,845
TRUCKER LIFESTYLE.
342
00:07:58,945 --> 00:08:00,713
{\an8}I GOT ME A NOVELTY BELT BUCKLE,
343
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:02,548
{\an8}CLASSIC YOSEMITE SAUL MUD FLAPS.
344
00:08:02,648 --> 00:08:03,382
{\an8}HELL, I EVEN HELD AUDITIONS TO
345
00:08:03,483 --> 00:08:06,219
{\an8}GET MYSELF A ANIMAL SIDEKICK.
346
00:08:06,319 --> 00:08:07,153
RIGHT TURN, WILLIE.
>> [ GRUNTS ]
347
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:09,055
>> Early: NO, RIGHT TURN,
348
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:09,822
WILLIE.
>> [ SCREECHES ]
349
00:08:10,623 --> 00:08:11,491
>> Early: [ SCREAMS ]
350
00:08:11,557 --> 00:08:13,559
>> [ SCREECHING CONTINUES ]
351
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:15,061
>> Early: RIGHT TURN, DR. FANG.
352
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:15,862
>> [ HISSES ]
353
00:08:15,962 --> 00:08:17,630
>> Granny: [ Muffled ] HEY,
354
00:08:17,697 --> 00:08:18,965
CRANK UP THE A/C, BITCH.
355
00:08:19,031 --> 00:08:20,566
I AIN'T GETTIN' NOTHIN' BACK
356
00:08:20,666 --> 00:08:21,400
HERE.
357
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,835
>> Early: RIGHT TURN, CHICKEN.
358
00:08:22,902 --> 00:08:27,907
>> [ CLUCKING ]
359
00:08:28,007 --> 00:08:29,709
[ SQUAWKS ]
360
00:08:29,809 --> 00:08:30,910
>> Early: THERE YOU GO, CHICKEN!
361
00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:31,477
HELL, YOU RUNNIN' WITH THE
362
00:08:31,544 --> 00:08:32,879
SCRAMBLER NOW!
363
00:08:32,979 --> 00:08:33,646
[ SCREAMING ]
364
00:08:33,713 --> 00:08:34,981
>> [ CLUCKING CONTINUES ]
365
00:08:35,047 --> 00:08:36,582
>> Early: THE MUMMY AND ME PILED
366
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:38,150
ON THE MILES -- SMOKIES ON MY
367
00:08:38,217 --> 00:08:39,852
BACK, THICK AS BUGS ON A BUMPER.
368
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:40,720
[ SIREN WAILS ]
>> Sheriff: HEY, SCRAMBLER.
369
00:08:41,387 --> 00:08:43,022
>> Early: WHAT?
370
00:08:43,089 --> 00:08:44,690
>> Sheriff: "BUFORD T. JUSTICE
371
00:08:44,757 --> 00:08:45,525
HERE.
372
00:08:45,591 --> 00:08:46,692
I'M GONNA BARBECUE YOUR ASS IN
373
00:08:46,759 --> 00:08:47,593
MOLASSES, SON."
[ LAUGHS ]
374
00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:49,862
REMEMBER THAT, EARLY?
375
00:08:49,929 --> 00:08:50,763
[ CHUCKLES ]
>> Early: OH, NO!
376
00:08:51,497 --> 00:08:53,065
[ BOTH SCREAM ]
377
00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:54,767
>> Early: I WAS HAULING THREE
378
00:08:54,867 --> 00:08:56,602
LOADS A WEEK, AND NOT A SINGLE
379
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:57,436
ONE REACHED ITS DESTINATION.
380
00:08:57,537 --> 00:09:00,006
BUT, HELL, THAT DIDN'T BOTHER MY
381
00:09:00,072 --> 00:09:01,040
BOSS NONE.
382
00:09:01,107 --> 00:09:02,708
YEP, THERE WAS MUCH RESPECT FOR
383
00:09:02,775 --> 00:09:03,609
THE SCRAMBLER.
>> Dan Halen: BEND OVER.
384
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,012
>> Early: WHOA.
385
00:09:06,078 --> 00:09:06,846
WHAT'S ALL THIS MESS?
386
00:09:06,913 --> 00:09:08,881
>> Dan Halen: UH, AIR BAGS TO
387
00:09:08,948 --> 00:09:10,683
PROTECT YOUR INTERNAL ORGANS AND
388
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,018
ANUS IN THE CASE OF A WRECK.
389
00:09:12,084 --> 00:09:12,952
>> Early: OH, GOOD.
I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DAMN
390
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:14,387
BALLOON FULL OF DRUGS.
391
00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:16,255
>> Dan Halen: [ LAUGHS ]
392
00:09:16,355 --> 00:09:17,056
OH, NO, NO.
393
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,624
>> Early: YEAH, I DON'T KNOW
394
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:19,058
MAN.
395
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,726
UH...
396
00:09:20,793 --> 00:09:22,895
>> Dan Halen: IT CAN'T BE DONE.
397
00:09:22,962 --> 00:09:24,230
>> Early: IS THAT WHAT THEY SAY?
398
00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,198
ALL RIGHT, OKAY.
399
00:09:26,265 --> 00:09:27,633
[ STRAINS, GRUNTS ]
400
00:09:27,733 --> 00:09:28,467
BOY HOWDY.
401
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:29,969
>> Dan Halen: UH, AND WAIT,
402
00:09:30,069 --> 00:09:30,970
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
403
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,305
NONE OF THESE CAN BE DONE,
404
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,205
EITHER.
>> Early: I WAS HAULING 16 TONS
405
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,107
BACK AND FORTH FROM
406
00:09:35,207 --> 00:09:36,142
MOTOR CITY TWICE A WEEK.
407
00:09:36,242 --> 00:09:36,776
BUT ALL THEY WANTED WAS MY
408
00:09:36,876 --> 00:09:37,977
BUTTHOLE AIRBAGS.
409
00:09:38,077 --> 00:09:39,211
>> COME ON, COME ON, COME ON.
410
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,580
>> Early: HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE.
411
00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:41,747
I GOT TO THINK ABOUT THIS.
412
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:42,548
>> COME ON, MAN.
413
00:09:42,615 --> 00:09:43,583
LET'S GO WITH THAT AIR BAG!
414
00:09:43,649 --> 00:09:44,617
>> Early: COME ON, EASY.
415
00:09:44,717 --> 00:09:47,086
JUST -- JUST -- OWWWWWWW!
416
00:09:47,153 --> 00:09:48,888
>> YOU CAN COUNT IT LATER, OKAY?
417
00:09:48,955 --> 00:09:49,488
>> Early: NO, NO, NO!
418
00:09:49,589 --> 00:09:51,157
>> IT'S ALL THERE.
419
00:09:51,257 --> 00:09:52,725
>> Early: REALLY? [ GROANS ]
420
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,093
IT FEELS A LITTLE BIT LIGHT.
421
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:54,927
>> WHAT DO KNOW?
422
00:09:54,994 --> 00:09:57,063
CAN'T PUT ONE OVER ON YOU, CAN
423
00:09:57,129 --> 00:09:57,763
WE?!
424
00:09:57,830 --> 00:09:58,898
[ BIRD SQUAWKS ]
425
00:09:58,965 --> 00:09:59,765
>> Early: AND THEN THE
426
00:09:59,832 --> 00:10:01,233
SCRAMBLER'S RUN CAME TO A CLOSE.
427
00:10:01,300 --> 00:10:03,002
>> WHAT ARE YOU HAULING BACK
428
00:10:03,102 --> 00:10:04,737
THERE, SON?
429
00:10:04,804 --> 00:10:05,605
>> Early: 2 TONS OF TOBACCO.
430
00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:07,340
>> LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT 130 POUNDS
431
00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:10,910
OF DEAD HOOKER, 40-SOME-ODD
432
00:10:10,977 --> 00:10:12,511
MEXICAN ILLEGALS, AND 3 KEYS
433
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:14,914
OF -- AHH! -- PURE CHINA WHITE.
434
00:10:14,981 --> 00:10:16,282
>> Early: WELL, HELL, I -- YOU
435
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,783
KNOW, I DID HEAR SOME THUMPING,
436
00:10:17,850 --> 00:10:18,618
BUT --
>> OKAY, I'M GONNA HAVE TO ASK
437
00:10:19,585 --> 00:10:20,920
YOU TO STEP OUT OF THE CAR, SIR.
438
00:10:20,987 --> 00:10:21,821
[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]
439
00:10:21,921 --> 00:10:22,955
>> Early: I DEMAND ASYLUM!
440
00:10:23,022 --> 00:10:23,823
WHAT'S THAT THING YOU GOTTA SAY
441
00:10:23,923 --> 00:10:25,758
IN THE MOVIE PICTURE WHEN IT'S,
442
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:26,325
UH, DON'T GET YOU IN NO TROUBLE?
443
00:10:26,425 --> 00:10:27,360
[ BOTH GRUNT ]
444
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:29,795
>> Early: [ LAUGHS ]
445
00:10:29,862 --> 00:10:31,964
WAIT, NO, NO! I DEMAND ASYLUM!
446
00:10:32,031 --> 00:10:33,032
I DEMANDED IT!
447
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:34,166
SO HOW DO I KNOW YOU AIN'T GOT
448
00:10:34,266 --> 00:10:35,368
WHAT IT TAKES, RUSTY?
449
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:38,204
'CAUSE I WAS THE ONLY MAN ON THE
450
00:10:38,304 --> 00:10:39,805
PLANET WHO HAD WHAT IT TOOK.
451
00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:40,473
HELL, YOU CAN'T BE ME.
452
00:10:40,539 --> 00:10:42,274
YOU'VE READ THE HAT.
453
00:10:42,341 --> 00:10:44,210
"WOMENS WANT TO BE WITH ME.
454
00:10:44,310 --> 00:10:46,212
MANS WANT TO BE ME WHEN I'M WITH
455
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:47,279
THE WOMENS WHO I WANT TO BE WITH
456
00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,015
ARE WITH ME."
457
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,016
ME.
458
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:50,449
>> Rusty: WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE
459
00:10:50,516 --> 00:10:51,784
RIGHT.
460
00:10:51,851 --> 00:10:52,284
>> Granny: WHO DID INVENTORY
461
00:10:52,351 --> 00:10:53,786
DOWN HERE?
462
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,121
>> Early: NOW GET ON, NOW, SLAP
463
00:10:55,187 --> 00:10:56,389
YOU SOME GOOGLY EYES ON SOME
464
00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:57,156
PINECONES.
>> Granny: WE ONLY GOT TWO
465
00:10:58,057 --> 00:11:00,059
BARABBAS THE THIEF LEFT, AND I
466
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,293
CAN'T FIND NONE OF JACOB THE
467
00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:02,128
DOUBTER.
468
00:11:02,194 --> 00:11:03,129
>> Rusty: ALL RIGHT.
469
00:11:03,195 --> 00:11:03,863
I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.
470
00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:05,698
>> Early: BUCK UP, SON.
471
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,199
IT AIN'T LIKE IT'S THE END OF
472
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:08,167
THE WORLD.
473
00:11:08,234 --> 00:11:09,669
JUST THE END OF YOUR DREAMS.
474
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:14,240
[ DOOR OPENS, CLOSES ]
475
00:11:14,340 --> 00:11:17,243
>> Rusty: STUCK TOGETHER.
476
00:11:17,343 --> 00:11:18,044
[ INDISTINCT TALKING ON
477
00:11:18,144 --> 00:11:22,048
TELEVISION ]
478
00:11:22,148 --> 00:11:23,215
>> Early: LOOK A-THERE!
479
00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:24,083
THIS SUMBITCH WILL CHANGE
480
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,385
CHANNELS RIGHT THROUGH THE AIR!
481
00:11:26,485 --> 00:11:28,320
DAMN!
69601
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