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[ STATIC ]
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[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
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>> ♪ RAISED BY A WILD PACK OF
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CIGARETTES ♪
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♪ YEAH, THERE'S A SPECIAL PLACE
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IN HELL WAITIN' FOR ME ♪
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♪ YOU BETCHA, MISTER, WHEN
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MY TIME, IT COMES ♪
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♪ AND I'M PROUD TO SAY I'LL BE
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THERE WITH MY FAMILY ♪
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♪ AT THE REUNION PARTY, DRINKIN'
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PAINT AND EATIN' FIRE! ♪
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WHOO!
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>> Rusty: HEY, MAN, LET ME DRIVE
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THAT THING.
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COME ON.
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>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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COME ON, NOW!
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GIVE IT HERE -- ALL OF IT,
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BABY!
IN THE BAG!
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WHOO!
>> WELL, OKAY.
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WELL, BUT YOU GOT TO TAKE THE
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BAG OFF YOUR HEAD, OR ELSE I
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CAN'T REALLY RIGHTLY FILL THE
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BAG.
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>> Early: HUH.
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WELL, THAT THERE'S A CLASSIC
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CONUNDRUM.
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I MEAN, I DON'T WANNA REVEAL
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MY IDENTITY, BUT YET I NEED A
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BAG TO MOVE THE GOODS.
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>> WELL, I GUESS WE'RE AT A
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STANDSTILL, THEN.
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>> Early: UH...
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I COULD STEAL ONE OF YOUR BAGS.
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>> YOU COULD, AND YOU'RE WELCOME
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TO IT, BUT THEN WHAT WOULD YOU
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PUT IT IN?
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>> Early: DAMN IT, YOU GOT ME!
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DON'T YOU LOOK ME IN THE EYE,
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NOW.
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>> IT IS YOU, EARLY! DANG.
I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN IT WHEN I
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SEEN THE TIPS OF THEM GREEN
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HANDS!
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>> Early: RACIALISTIC PROFILER!
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>> Rusty: HEY, DADDY, LOOK!
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[ CROWD MURMURING ]
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>> Dan Halen: ATTENTION,
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PRIMITIVES!
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THY WAIT IS OVER.
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I GIVE YOU YOUR VERY OWN
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BALLMART!
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>> Granny: NO, NO, THE STORE IS
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CALLED WA--
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>> Dan Halen: BALLMART, I SAID!
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BALLMART!
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>> Granny: YEAH, BUT YOU MEAN --
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>> Dan Halen: BALLMART!
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WELL, DON'T STAND UNDER IT.
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>> Granny: DO WHAT?
>> Dan Halen: I'M ABOUT TO
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DROP IT.
>> Granny: HE WANTS US TO STAND
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UNDER IT.
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>> Early: YOU MEAN STAND OVER
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HERE?
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WHERE YOU WANT ME TO GO?
>> Dan Halen: UGH!
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>> Early: SHOULD I MOVE OVER
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HERE?
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>> Dan Halen: I'M COUNTING TO
THREE AND I'M DROPPING IT!
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>> Granny: DROPPIN' WHAT?
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>> Dan Halen: ONE...
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[ LAUGHS EVILLY ]
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I DIDN'T EVEN WAIT TILL THREE,
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YOU FOOLS!
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>> Sheriff: WELCOME TO BALL--
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PLEASE! ACT LIKE HUMANS! AAAH!
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>> [ Muffled ] WE GOT FREE
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SAMPLES OF BUTTER BOMB JALAPEÑO
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POPPERITO BLASTERS.
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THEY GOOD FOR PARTIES...
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GET-TOGETHERS.
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NO! NOT MINE! THESE ARE MINE!
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>> Sheriff: KRYSTAL, NOW --
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>> COMPETITIVE EATIN' CONTESTS.
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>> Sheriff: KRYSTAL, NOW --
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>> PUTTIN' THEM IN YOUR MOUTH
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CAUSE THEY'RE IN FRONT OF YOU.
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[ MUNCHING LOUDLY ]
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>> Sheriff: NOW, KRYSTAL,
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SWEETHEART, WON'T YOU JUST SAVE
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SOME OF THEM SAMPLES FOR THE
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CUSTOMERS?
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>> [ MOANING ]
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>> Sheriff: SEE, THE IDEA IS
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THAT THEY TASTE IT AND ENJOY IT,
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AND THEN, IF WE'RE LUCKY,
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THEY'LL TAKE IT UP THERE AND BUY
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IT AT THE REGISTER.
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>> Early: YEAH, YOU DUMB BITCH.
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WE TESTIN' QUALITY OVER HERE.
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>> Rusty: SALT FLAVOR.
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>> Sheriff: WELL, UH, THESE ARE
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ACTUALLY PRODUCTS ON THE SHELF
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FOR SALE, EARLY.
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>> Early: WELL, WE JUST
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BROWSIN'.
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>> Granny: JUST LOOKIN'.
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>> Rusty: YEAH, WE JUST LOOKIN'.
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>> Early: YEP. WE JUST BROWSIN'.
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>> Sheriff: WELL, I KINDA NEED
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YOU TO PROVIDE SOME MONEY TO PAY
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FOR THE THINGS YOU JUST ATE.
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>> Granny: WE AIN'T GOT NO
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MONEY.
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>> Rusty: NAH, WE AIN'T GOT NO
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MONEY.
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>> Early: HE MEANS WE AIN'T GOT
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NO MONEY FOR SHODDY PRODUCTS.
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WHAT WAS BUILT BY CHINYMANS IN
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CHINER.
>> Sheriff: WELL, HOW ABOUT THAT
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BARREL OF CHEESY CHIMPS, EARLY?
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>> Early: THEY WAS ALREADY
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OPEN WHEN I OPENED 'EM.
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>> Sheriff: YEAH, SO WAS THAT
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12-PACK, I GUESS, HUH?
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>> Early: NOW HE KNOWS HOW IT
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WORKS.
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>> Granny: [ GULPING ]
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I DON'T HAVE TO SIT HERE IN
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COMFORT AND TAKE THIS.
>> Early: THAT'S RIGHT!
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WE'LL JUST TAKE OUR BUSINESS
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ELSEWHERE!
>> Sheriff: WELL, YOU GON' LEAVE
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THAT KOMFY KRITTER RIGHT HERE.
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>> Granny: NO, NO, NO!
ONCE I GOT MOTORIZED, I AIN'T
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NEVER GOIN' BACK TO HOPPIN'
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AROUND LIKE A MEXICAN JUMPIN'
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BEAN.
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NEVER!
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>> Sheriff: WELL, IF YOU WANT TO
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STAY ON THE CART, BALLMART'S
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ALWAYS HIRIN'.
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>> Early: YOU MEAN LIKE A WORKY
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JOB?
>> Sheriff: 10-4.
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>> Granny: THEY TOLD ME I'M TOO
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STUPID TO WORK.
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>> Sheriff: NOT HERE.
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WE'LL HIRE ANYBODY.
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>> Granny: WELCOME TO BALLMART.
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UNLESS OF COURSE YOU ONE OF THEM
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PEOPLE WHO AIN'T WELCOME AT
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BALLMART.
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AND YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE.
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>> EXCUSE ME.
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WE'RE LOOKING FOR A FONDUE KIT.
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>> Granny: OOH!
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I THINK SOMEBODY'S HAD MORE THAN
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THEIR FAIR SHARE OF FONDUE
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ALREADY.
>> EXCUSE ME?
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>> Granny: HOW 'BOUT A
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TREADMILL, HONEY?
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THEY'RE ON AISLE 32.
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HERE.
"DUMP YOUR BITCH SLUT WIFE FOR
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DUMMIES" IS ON SALE.
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>> OH, WOW. IT'S IN PAPERBACK.
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>> Granny: SLUT MASCARA'S ON
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AISLE 47 IF YOU'RE LOW.
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CHOP-CHOP, MEN!
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IF YOU AIN'T GREETIN' A
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CUSTOMER, THEN YOU BETTER BE
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HUNTIN' ONE DOWN WHO NEEDS TO BE
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GRET.
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>> Early: BITCH, YOU AIN'T THE
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BOSS Of ME.
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>> Granny: YES. I'M AFRAID I AM.
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>> Sheriff: ACTUALLY, EARLY,
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SHE'S THE ASSISTANT GREETER
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MANAGER.
>> Early: OH, NO, MA'AM!
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YOU BEST CHECK YOUR FACTS!
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>> Sheriff: NO, EARLY, SHE WAS
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HIRED 10 MINUTES BEFORE YOU
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WERE, SO --
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WELCOME TO BALLMART!
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...SHE'S YOUR SUPERVISOR.
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>> Granny: GO ON. SAY IT.
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DO IT WITH A SMILE.
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>> Early: WELCOME TO BALLMART.
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>> Granny: DON'T MISS THAT ONE.
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>> Early: YEAH, YOU!
WELCOME TO BALLMART!
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>> Granny: YOU TOO, BOY.
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DON'T LET HIM BY.
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>> Rusty: WELCOME TO BALLMART.
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>> Early: WELCOME TO BALLMART!
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>> Granny: WHOO!
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NEED A LITTLE COMPETITION UP IN
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HERE.
>> Rusty: WELCOME TO BALL--
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>> Early: WELCOME TO BALLMART!
>> Rusty: WELCOME TO BALL--
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>> Early: WELCOME TO BALLMART!
>> Rusty: WELCOME TO --
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>> Early: WELCOME TO BALLMART!
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YOU WANT ME TO WELCOME YOU
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OUTSIDE?
WELCOME TO OUTSIDE!
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>> Granny: YOU'RE SCARIN' PEOPLE
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WITH YOUR GREETS.
I'M PUTTIN' YOU IN BACK.
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I'M GON' NEED YOU TO STACK
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BASKETBALL GOALS AND BABY POOLS.
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>> Early: AND I'M GONNA NEED YOU
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TO STACK YOUR KISSES UP ON MY
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ASS!
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I AIN'T DOIN' --
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WELCOME TO BALLMART!
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...SQUAT.
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>> Granny: WELL, THEN I GUESS
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YOU AIN'T GETTIN' --
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WELCOME TO BALLMART!
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...PAID.
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AND I GUESS I'M GONNA WRITE YOUR
215
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:18,217
ASS UP!
>> Early: AND I'M GONNA BEAT
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YOUR ASS DOWN -- AS SOON AS I
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PUNCH OUT.
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HELL YEAH.
I'M GONNA PUNCH OUT AND THEN
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PUNCH YOU -- ON MY TIME!
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MY TIME IS THE RIGHT TIME TO
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BUST YOUR BEHIND!
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>> Granny: WHOO!
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SOMEBODY'S GREETIN' THE
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GRAVEYARD SHIFT.
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>> Early: Y-YOU CAN'T DO THAT!
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AIN'T NOBODY HERE!
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>> Granny: WELL, ACCORDIN' TO
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00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,703
MR. CLIPBOARD, I JUST DONE IT.
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>> Early: CAN SHE DO THAT?
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>> Granny: OH, YOU'LL BE
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GREETIN' YOUR OWN INSANITY
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BEFORE I'M DONE WITH YOU, BOY.
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>> Early: WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT,
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THEN?
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I QUIT!
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BUT NOT BEFORE I BUY THIS AT 20%
237
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EMPLOYEE DISCOUNT!
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>> Granny: WELL, LOOKY, LOOKY.
239
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WE JUST PASSED THE SELL-BY DATE.
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I'M NO LONGER INCLINED TO SELL
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THEM TO YOU.
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>> Early: WELL, THEN I GUESS YOU
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GONNA HAVE TO CLEAN UP SOME FOOT
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BRINE, CAUSE THEY BROKE...
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ALL...
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OVER...
247
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THE FLOOR!
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I'M GON' LEAVE SOME...
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BRINE ON THIS FLOOR.
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>> Granny: [ CACKLES ]
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HAVE A NICE DAY.
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COME BACK AND SEE US!
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[ LAUGHS ]
254
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,376
WELCOME TO BALLMART!
255
00:06:16,442 --> 00:06:19,445
>> Early: [ GRUNTING ]
256
00:06:19,545 --> 00:06:20,446
>> Sheriff: COME ON, EARLY.
257
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:21,614
I THINK YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT.
258
00:06:21,714 --> 00:06:22,615
>> Early: I PUT HER IN HER
259
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,516
PLACE, DIDN'T I?
>> Sheriff: YEAH, YOU SURE DID,
260
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:25,118
EARLY.
261
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,219
>> Early: YES, I DID!
262
00:06:27,053 --> 00:06:29,689
GET YOUR HANDS UP.
263
00:06:29,756 --> 00:06:30,957
"YES, SIR, EARLY."
264
00:06:31,057 --> 00:06:32,058
GIMME ALL OF IT -- IN THE BAG.
265
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,761
"YES, SIR. DON'T SHOOT."
266
00:06:34,861 --> 00:06:35,361
I'VE GOT THE GUN.
267
00:06:35,428 --> 00:06:36,963
I'M IN CONTROL.
268
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,564
"YES, SIR. YOU ARE."
269
00:06:38,631 --> 00:06:39,732
[ Voice breaking ] I DAMN SURE
270
00:06:39,799 --> 00:06:41,401
WAS!
271
00:06:41,467 --> 00:06:42,635
>> Rusty: OH. HEY, DADDY.
272
00:06:42,735 --> 00:06:44,137
YEAH, I THOUGHT I'D FIND YOU
273
00:06:44,237 --> 00:06:44,737
HERE.
>> Early: YOU.
274
00:06:45,772 --> 00:06:46,973
WHY AIN'T YOU WORKIN' OVER THERE
275
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:48,074
AT BALLMART, LIKE EVERY OTHER
276
00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,475
DAMN TRAITOR IN THIS TOWN?
277
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:50,576
>> Rusty: 'CAUSE I QUIT.
278
00:06:50,643 --> 00:06:51,911
THEY HIRE ILLEGALS, DON'T GIVE
279
00:06:51,978 --> 00:06:53,112
US NO INSURANCE, AND DON'T ALLOW
280
00:06:53,212 --> 00:06:54,480
US TO ORGANIZE THE LABOR.
281
00:06:54,580 --> 00:06:55,782
THAT'S HOW THEY PASS ON THE
282
00:06:55,882 --> 00:06:56,649
SAVINGS TO YOU.
283
00:06:56,749 --> 00:06:57,817
EVERYTHING THEY SELL COMES FROM
284
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,818
SOUTH AMERICA.
285
00:06:58,918 --> 00:06:59,819
>> Early: THE SECONDHAND
286
00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:00,653
AMERICA!
COME ON, NOW.
287
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:02,822
WE GON' MAKE OUR VOICES HEARD!
288
00:07:02,922 --> 00:07:04,090
>> Rusty: WHAT, LIKE ORGANIZE
289
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:04,891
THE WORKFORCE?
290
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,492
OR MAYBE WE COULD STRIKE FOR
291
00:07:06,592 --> 00:07:07,827
HIGHER PAY AND LOWER HOURS.
292
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:08,728
OR WE COULD EVEN LOBBY CONGRESS
293
00:07:08,795 --> 00:07:09,962
TO GIVE TAX BREAKS FOR DOMESTIC
294
00:07:10,062 --> 00:07:11,764
FACTORY JOBS.
295
00:07:11,831 --> 00:07:12,498
>> Early: I WAS THINKIN' BLOW IT
296
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:15,134
UP AND, YOU KNOW, ROB IT.
297
00:07:15,234 --> 00:07:18,438
NOT IN THAT ORDER, THOUGH.
298
00:07:18,504 --> 00:07:19,639
YOU GONNA ENTER THROUGH THE
299
00:07:19,739 --> 00:07:20,473
AIR-CONDITIONING GRATE, AND YOU
300
00:07:20,573 --> 00:07:22,475
WILL CRAWL APPROXIMATELY FIVE
301
00:07:22,575 --> 00:07:23,810
CLICKS, IN A EASTER-WESTERLY
302
00:07:23,910 --> 00:07:24,510
DIRECTION, TO THIS RIGHT HERE.
303
00:07:24,610 --> 00:07:26,078
NOW, WHEN YOU HEAR THE
304
00:07:26,145 --> 00:07:26,846
DISTINCTIVE CLACK OF THIS HERE
305
00:07:26,946 --> 00:07:28,514
ASSISTANT GREETER MANAGER'S
306
00:07:28,614 --> 00:07:29,348
WALKER...
>> Granny: THAT'S QUITE A HERNIA
307
00:07:30,116 --> 00:07:31,017
YOU GOT DOWN THERE.
308
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,084
>> Early: ...YOU KICK OVER
309
00:07:32,151 --> 00:07:32,852
A SHELF OF DUMBBELLS AND FREE
310
00:07:32,952 --> 00:07:34,086
WEIGHTS DOWN ON HER HEAD.
311
00:07:34,153 --> 00:07:35,021
>> Granny: [ WHIMPERS ]
312
00:07:35,121 --> 00:07:36,522
>> Early: I'LL BE DRILLIN'
313
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:37,957
THROUGH THE CONCRETE FLOOR OF
314
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,425
THE STOCKROOM TO WHERE THE SAFE
315
00:07:39,492 --> 00:07:39,992
IS LOCATED, 200 FOOT BELOW THE
316
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:41,661
EARTH'S CRUST.
317
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:43,029
WE GON' WEAR THESE HERE
318
00:07:43,129 --> 00:07:44,664
SPECIALLY MADE CONTACT LENSES.
319
00:07:44,764 --> 00:07:46,432
THEY'LL GET US PAST THE RETINAL
320
00:07:46,499 --> 00:07:48,034
SCAN AND MAKE US LOOK LIKE ANGRY
321
00:07:48,134 --> 00:07:49,001
CATS.
>> Rusty: WHAT ABOUT THEM
322
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:52,538
SECURITY CAMERAS UP THERE?
323
00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:54,040
>> Early: Y-YOU MEAN LIKE THEM
324
00:07:54,140 --> 00:07:55,675
MOTION-PICTURE CAMRIES AND ALL?
325
00:07:55,775 --> 00:07:56,943
W-WHERE THEY CAN SEE YOU AND
326
00:07:57,009 --> 00:07:57,844
EVERYTHING?
327
00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,011
>> Rusty: YEAH, DADDY.
328
00:07:59,111 --> 00:08:00,179
THERE'S CAMERAS EVERYWHERE.
329
00:08:00,279 --> 00:08:01,814
THERE'S ONE THERE AND HERE
330
00:08:01,881 --> 00:08:03,049
AND -- AND HERE AND HERE AND
331
00:08:03,149 --> 00:08:03,983
HERE AND HERE.
332
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:06,886
>> Early: HMM.
333
00:08:06,986 --> 00:08:08,688
YOU IGNORE CAMERAS 1 THROUGH 6,
334
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:10,056
AND I WILL IGNORE CAMERAS 8
335
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,023
THROUGH 10.
336
00:08:11,123 --> 00:08:12,024
NEXT, YOU WILL CREATE A
337
00:08:12,124 --> 00:08:12,859
DIVERSION IN JUNIOR MISS BY
338
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:14,160
SHAKIN' YOUR WANGER AT PEOPLE
339
00:08:14,227 --> 00:08:15,561
AND YELLIN', "I'M A PERVERT.
340
00:08:15,661 --> 00:08:16,829
I'M A PERVERT. I'M A PERVERT."
341
00:08:16,896 --> 00:08:17,897
>> Rusty: I'M A PERVERT!
342
00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:18,731
LOOK AT MY WANGER!
343
00:08:18,831 --> 00:08:19,966
>> Early: NOW, THAT SHOULD GIVE
344
00:08:20,032 --> 00:08:20,733
ME ENOUGH TIME TO GET TO THE
345
00:08:20,833 --> 00:08:22,068
SAFE HOUSE ACROSS THE STATE
346
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,169
LINE, FREE OF BALLMART
347
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:24,003
JURISDICTION.
>> Rusty: UH, HOW -- HOW LONG
348
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:25,738
YOU WANT ME TO DO THIS PERVERT
349
00:08:25,838 --> 00:08:27,507
THING?
350
00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,241
>> Early: UNTIL THEY TAKE YOU
DOWN.
351
00:08:29,075 --> 00:08:29,976
>> Rusty: DON'T ARREST ME!
352
00:08:30,042 --> 00:08:31,210
>> Early: NOW, DON'T YOU FLIP ON
353
00:08:31,310 --> 00:08:31,978
ME.
354
00:08:32,044 --> 00:08:33,212
WE MEET AT THE FRONT DOOR
355
00:08:33,312 --> 00:08:34,914
TONIGHT -- 2100 HOURS.
356
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:36,015
>> Rusty: THAT'S NOW, AIN'T IT?
357
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:38,251
>> Early: IT IS?
358
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,720
GET YOUR ASSES ON THE FLOOR!
359
00:08:40,820 --> 00:08:41,487
NOW!
>> Rusty: DADDY, THE PLAN!
360
00:08:42,421 --> 00:08:43,723
>> Early: TO HELL WITH THE PLAN!
361
00:08:43,823 --> 00:08:44,857
OPEN THE SAFE, YOU SON OF A
362
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:45,758
BITCH!
363
00:08:45,858 --> 00:08:46,826
[ CELL DOOR CLANKS ]
364
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:48,694
>> Sheriff: NOW, I FIGURED OUT
365
00:08:48,761 --> 00:08:50,496
HOW YOU GOT PAST THE GREETER.
366
00:08:50,563 --> 00:08:52,164
I SAW HOW YOU WAS IGNORIN' THE
367
00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:53,566
SECURITY CAMERAS.
368
00:08:53,666 --> 00:08:54,333
BUT THERE'S ONE PART OF YOUR
369
00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:56,035
PLAN I JUST COULDN'T QUITE
370
00:08:56,102 --> 00:08:57,770
FIGURE OUT.
371
00:08:57,870 --> 00:08:59,105
>> Early: HOW I GOT MY EYES TO
372
00:08:59,205 --> 00:09:00,540
LOOK LIKE A ANGRY CAT?
373
00:09:00,606 --> 00:09:02,074
>> Sheriff: WHAT WAS IT, SOME
374
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:03,543
SORT OF HIGH-TECH TRANSPLANT
375
00:09:03,609 --> 00:09:04,710
SURGERY OR SOMETHIN'?
376
00:09:04,777 --> 00:09:05,678
>> Early: CONTACTS.
377
00:09:05,745 --> 00:09:06,746
>> Sheriff: I KNEW IT!
378
00:09:06,846 --> 00:09:07,947
WHERE DID YOU FIND THESE?
379
00:09:08,047 --> 00:09:08,848
THEY'RE FANTASTIC!
380
00:09:08,915 --> 00:09:10,016
>> Early: HELL, WE GOT 'EM ON
381
00:09:10,082 --> 00:09:11,017
AISLE 27.
382
00:09:11,083 --> 00:09:11,951
>> Sheriff: OH, THAT'S RIGHT!
383
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:12,952
HALLOWEEN!
384
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,086
>> Dan Halen: WE EVALUATED THE
385
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,589
SECURITY TAPES, AND THAT'S WHEN
386
00:09:16,689 --> 00:09:18,224
WE REALIZED GENIUS HERE FORGOT
387
00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:20,192
TO TURN THE CAMERAS ON.
388
00:09:20,259 --> 00:09:21,694
>> Sheriff: THEY DO MAKE ME LOOK
389
00:09:21,761 --> 00:09:22,562
LIKE A CAT, EARLY!
390
00:09:22,628 --> 00:09:23,696
>> Dan Halen: YOUR SWORN
391
00:09:23,763 --> 00:09:24,730
STATEMENT SAYS THAT THE
392
00:09:24,797 --> 00:09:27,033
PERPETRATOR WAS A CATLIKE
393
00:09:27,099 --> 00:09:29,235
CREATURE THREE APPLES HIGH WITH
394
00:09:29,302 --> 00:09:30,436
FEET OF GREEN.
395
00:09:30,536 --> 00:09:33,139
YOU ALSO ADDED THAT IT WAS YOUR
396
00:09:33,239 --> 00:09:33,639
GRANDSON.
397
00:09:33,739 --> 00:09:34,974
OR YOUR SON.
398
00:09:35,074 --> 00:09:35,575
YOU WEREN'T SURE.
>> Granny: UH...
399
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,144
THE CAT OVER THERE.
400
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:38,911
THE BIG 'UN.
401
00:09:38,978 --> 00:09:40,880
>> Sheriff: ARRRR! RAR!
402
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:42,648
>> Dan Halen: SURELY YOU MEAN
403
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:43,482
LITTLE ONE.
404
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,217
THE CEPHALOPOD WITH 37 PRIORS,
405
00:09:45,284 --> 00:09:47,153
ALL ARMED ROBBERY.
406
00:09:47,253 --> 00:09:47,920
>> Early: A-ARE YOU SURE IT WAS
407
00:09:47,987 --> 00:09:49,622
ME?
408
00:09:49,722 --> 00:09:50,623
'CAUSE WHEN YOU GET IN THAT
409
00:09:50,723 --> 00:09:52,158
COURTROOM, NOW, YOU NEED TO BE
410
00:09:52,258 --> 00:09:53,593
ABSOLUTELY SURE IT AIN'T ME.
411
00:09:53,659 --> 00:09:55,127
>> Granny: WELL, I THOUGHT IT
412
00:09:55,227 --> 00:09:56,762
WAS, BUT I DON'T KNOW.
413
00:09:56,829 --> 00:09:58,664
YOU KNOW, A WOMAN HAS THE RIGHT
414
00:09:58,764 --> 00:10:00,166
TO CHANGE HER MIND.
415
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:01,167
>> Dan Halen: I'M SORRY.
416
00:10:01,267 --> 00:10:03,102
DID YOU SAY "WOMAN"?
417
00:10:04,070 --> 00:10:06,105
>> Granny: YOU KNOW, THEY FIRED
418
00:10:06,172 --> 00:10:07,306
MY ASS WHEN THEY FOUND OUT I
419
00:10:07,406 --> 00:10:08,007
WASN'T A DUDE.
420
00:10:08,107 --> 00:10:09,241
>> Early: THEY CALL IT
421
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:10,109
"MAN-AGEMENT," GRANNY.
422
00:10:10,176 --> 00:10:12,111
HELL, IT AIN'T "WOMAN-AGEMENT."
423
00:10:12,178 --> 00:10:13,245
I MEAN, LET'S BE REAL.
424
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:14,814
YOU CAN'T MAKE NO BABIES NO DAMN
425
00:10:14,914 --> 00:10:15,514
MORE, YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHIN'
UPSTAIRS, YOU LOOK LIKE
426
00:10:16,482 --> 00:10:18,985
SOMETHIN' THAT COME OUT THE ASS
427
00:10:19,085 --> 00:10:19,785
OF A DAMN DOG.
428
00:10:19,852 --> 00:10:20,987
I MEAN, WHAT'S NEXT FOR YOU,
429
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:21,687
REALLY?
I MEAN, DAMN.
430
00:10:22,655 --> 00:10:23,022
>> Granny: I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S
431
00:10:23,122 --> 00:10:24,624
NEXT.
432
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:25,491
I'M GONNA ORGANIZE THE
433
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:27,793
WORKFORCE, AND WE'RE GONNA MARCH
434
00:10:27,860 --> 00:10:29,695
TO WASHINGTON, AND I'M GONNA
435
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:31,697
FILE AN ANTI-DISCRIMINATION
436
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:32,465
SUIT!
437
00:10:32,531 --> 00:10:34,333
AGEIST, SEXIST BASTARDS!
438
00:10:34,433 --> 00:10:35,301
[ SHOTGUN COCKS ]
439
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,837
>> Early: LESS PAPERWORK.
440
00:10:37,937 --> 00:10:39,171
>> Granny: ALL RIGHT!
441
00:10:39,271 --> 00:10:40,206
GET YOUR ASSES ON THE FLOOR!
442
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,207
[ SHOTGUN CLICKS ]
443
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,275
HEY, IT'S ON SAFETY.
444
00:10:43,342 --> 00:10:44,276
OHH!
445
00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:46,345
{\an8}[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
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