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[ STATIC ]
[ COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS ]
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00:00:06,834 --> 00:00:12,334
>> George Jones: ♪ SHE RUN OFF
AND TOOK OUR ONLY CHICKEN ♪
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00:00:12,417 --> 00:00:17,667
♪ WHEN I BROKE JAIL, THE HOUSE
WAS BURNT AND BARE ♪
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00:00:17,751 --> 00:00:22,834
♪ THE JAPS, THEY MOVED THE
PLANT
BACK TO OSAKI ♪
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00:00:22,918 --> 00:00:27,042
♪ SOME DAYS, LIFE JUST DOESN'T
SEEM THAT FAIR ♪
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00:00:27,125 --> 00:00:28,751
♪ AND I DON'T CARE ♪
>> Rusty: MY TURN.
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00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:29,584
>> Early: HELL NO.
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00:00:29,667 --> 00:00:31,209
>> Rusty: MAN, LET ME DRIVE
THAT
THING!
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00:00:31,292 --> 00:00:32,959
>> Early: DO NOT TOUCH THE TRIM!
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00:00:33,375 --> 00:00:36,918
>> AND NOW BACK TO BROCK"LIBERTY" BELL!
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ARE YOU READY TO BROCK?
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00:00:38,459 --> 00:00:39,542
>> THAT'S RIGHT.
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00:00:39,626 --> 00:00:41,292
BROCK BELL HERE ON COOL A.M.
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00:00:41,375 --> 00:00:42,459
1680, THE HEAT!
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00:00:42,542 --> 00:00:44,792
LET'S CHAP SOME HIDES AND WHIP
SOME OPINIONS INTO SHAPE!
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00:00:44,876 --> 00:00:46,626
[ WHIP CRACKS ]
WE GOT EARLY IN DOUGAL COUNTY.
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00:00:46,709 --> 00:00:47,626
YOU'RE ON THE HEAT SEAT.
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00:00:47,709 --> 00:00:49,959
WHAT'S CHAPPIN' YOUR HIDE,
FRIEND?
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00:00:50,042 --> 00:00:50,918
>> Early: UH...
>> YES, SIR, CALLER.
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00:00:51,792 --> 00:00:54,083
>> Early: IS IT ME ON THE RADIO
NOW?
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00:00:54,167 --> 00:00:56,250
>> [ SIGHS ]YES, YOU ARE, CALLER. GOAHEAD.
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00:00:56,334 --> 00:00:57,792
>> Early: AM I THE NINTH CALLER?
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00:00:57,876 --> 00:00:59,792
I MEAN, DO I GET THEM
RANDY TRAVIS TICKETS?
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00:00:59,876 --> 00:01:01,125
>> SIR, THE RANDY TRAVIS-GANZAWAS TWO WEEKS AGO.
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00:01:01,209 --> 00:01:03,167
COULD YOU PLEASE JUST STATE
YOUR BUSINESS?
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00:01:03,250 --> 00:01:04,417
>> Early: UH, YEAH.
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00:01:04,500 --> 00:01:07,792
I-I WANT TO SAY THAT THE
PROBLEM
WITH THE ECONOMY IS, UH, THERE
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00:01:07,876 --> 00:01:09,125
AIN'T NO DAMN JOBS.
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00:01:09,209 --> 00:01:12,250
I MEAN, I BEEN OUT OF WORK
SINCE
FRIDAY AT 5:00, AND I'M GOING
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00:01:12,334 --> 00:01:14,834
BACK TO WORK MONDAY, BUT I
AIN'T
A-GONNA LIKE IT.
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00:01:14,918 --> 00:01:16,250
>> SIR, THAT'S CALLED THEWEEKEND.
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00:01:16,334 --> 00:01:18,459
AND I KNOW YOU'RE PROBABLY
STILL BALLS-DEEP IN THE MIDDLE
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00:01:18,542 --> 00:01:20,459
OF IT, BUT IT'S ACTUALLY
TUESDAY FOR THE REST OF US.
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00:01:20,542 --> 00:01:22,959
>> Early: LOOK, I CAN'T COLLECT
MY UNEMPLOYMENT THANKS TO BIG
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00:01:23,042 --> 00:01:24,667
GOVERNMENT BUREAUCRATS'
RED-TAPE
TALK!
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00:01:24,751 --> 00:01:26,167
AIN'T ONE OF 'EM EVER GIVE ME A
STRAIGHT ANSWER AS TO WHY I
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CAN'T GET NO UNEMPLOYMENT MONEY
CHECK, 'CAUSE I AIN'T WORKING ON
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00:01:29,751 --> 00:01:30,167
THE WEEKEND!
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00:01:30,250 --> 00:01:31,500
>> I AGREE, SIR.
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THE GOVERNMENT IS OUT OF
CONTROL, BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU
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00:01:33,375 --> 00:01:34,375
ARE TOO, BUDDY.
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00:01:34,459 --> 00:01:36,042
YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND PICK THOSE
DRAWERS OFF THE FLOOR.
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00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,209
YOU JUST GOT OPINION-WHIPPED.
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[ WHIP CRACKS ]
>> YOU'VE BEEN
OPINION-WHIPPED!
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00:01:39,500 --> 00:01:41,042
>> Early: YOU GOT A BIG OL'
MOUTH, SON.
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00:01:41,125 --> 00:01:43,042
YOU GOT YOURSELF A BIG OL' BODY
TO BACK UP --
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00:01:43,125 --> 00:01:44,667
[ DIAL TONE ]
WHAT IN THE DAMN...
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00:01:44,751 --> 00:01:46,292
>> ANOTHER TELEPHONE TOUGH GUY.
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00:01:46,375 --> 00:01:47,209
I'M HERE EVERY DAY, PAL, 3:00
TO
6:00.
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00:01:47,292 --> 00:01:49,417
>> CHAPPIN' HIDES ON THE FIVES!
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BROCK BELL!
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00:01:50,167 --> 00:01:51,209
>> WHOA, WHOA. HANG ON, HOSS.
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00:01:51,292 --> 00:01:52,334
WE'RE ON THE AIR -- AAH!
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OOH! EEH! AAH! OOH!
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00:01:53,667 --> 00:01:55,042
>> Early: OKAY, WE GONNA TAKE A
QUICK STATION BREAK RIGHT QUICK.
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00:01:55,125 --> 00:01:56,834
>> AAH! EEH! AAH!
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>> Early: AND WHEN WE COME
BACK...
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>> AAH!
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>> Early: ...THE GROUND ZERO
MOSQUE...
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00:02:00,459 --> 00:02:01,000
>> OOH!
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>> Early: ...NO OR HELL NO?
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>> YOU'RE LISTENING TO COOL A.M.
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00:02:04,918 --> 00:02:07,876
1680, THE HEAT!
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00:02:07,959 --> 00:02:09,876
>> Sheriff: DANG IT, EARLY.
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00:02:09,959 --> 00:02:13,542
COOL 1680, THE HEAT, IS
WHERE I
GET ALL MY OPINIONS.
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00:02:13,626 --> 00:02:15,042
NOW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO THINK?
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00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:17,250
>> Early: WELL, I GUESS YOU'RE
GONNA HAVE TO THINK FOR
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YOURSELF.
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I MEAN, HELL, THAT'S HOW I GOT
WHERE I AM TODAY.
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00:02:19,792 --> 00:02:22,876
>> Sheriff: AH, NOW THEY'RE JUST
FILLING TIME WITH THAT EXTENDED
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"LAYLA" SOLO.
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>> Dan Halen: SOUND-ALIKE!
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00:02:24,959 --> 00:02:26,083
SLOWHAND WILL GET NOTHING FROM
ME.
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00:02:26,167 --> 00:02:30,542
EARLY, YOU HAVE SOME STRONG
AND
UNSUPPORTABLE OPINIONS.
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00:02:30,626 --> 00:02:34,334
>> Early: A WISE HAT ONCE TOLD
ME "ROCK OUT WITH YOUR JOCK"
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00:02:34,417 --> 00:02:37,000
"OUT" -- DAYTONA '86.
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00:02:37,083 --> 00:02:38,876
THAT'S KIND OF BECOME A MANTRA
FOR ME.
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00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,500
>> Dan Halen: WELL, I FAIL TO
SEE WHAT THAT HAS TO DO WITH
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00:02:41,584 --> 00:02:43,334
ANYTHING, BUT I ADMIRE YOUR
PASSION, AND I THINK YOU HAVE
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00:02:43,417 --> 00:02:47,709
THE FIRE TO FEED THE HEAT!
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00:02:47,792 --> 00:02:50,792
>> LIVE FROM OUR MOUNTAINTOPBUNKER IN DOUGAL COUNTY ON COOL
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1680, THE HEAT -- YOU CAN'T
SPELL "FREEDOM," YOU CAN'T
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00:02:53,834 --> 00:02:57,292
SPELL "LIBERTY," YOU CAN'T
SPELL "U.S.A." WITHOUT
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00:02:57,375 --> 00:02:58,375
THE BIG "E"!
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00:02:58,459 --> 00:03:00,292
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Early: THANK YOU! THANK
YOU!
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00:03:00,375 --> 00:03:03,375
WE GOT A LOT TO GET DONE TODAY,
SO LET'S GET STARTED WITH IT.
87
00:03:03,459 --> 00:03:06,292
THE CHURCH SHOULD BE TAUGHT IN
THE SCHOOLS, AND THE SCHOOLS
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00:03:06,375 --> 00:03:07,500
SHOULD BE PART OF THE DAMN
CHURCH!
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00:03:07,584 --> 00:03:11,083
NOW, YOU MIGHT SAY, "BIG 'E,'
HEY, YOU QUIT SCHOOLING IN THE
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00:03:11,167 --> 00:03:11,834
SECOND GRADE."
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00:03:11,918 --> 00:03:13,083
THAT'S RIGHT.
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00:03:13,167 --> 00:03:15,918
I WAS 16, AND I HAD A FAMILY
AND
A SUCCESSFUL CAREER CASTRATING
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00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:18,751
AND ARTIFICIALLY INSEMINATING
BULLS BEFORE I WAS UNJUSTLY
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00:03:18,834 --> 00:03:21,751
DISMISSED FOR MATING A HEIFER
WITH A POTBELLY PIG FOR MY OWN
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00:03:21,834 --> 00:03:22,792
DAMN AMUSEMENT.
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00:03:22,876 --> 00:03:24,959
I DONE BEEN DISCRIMINATED UPON
BY THE P.C. POLICE!
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00:03:25,042 --> 00:03:26,959
[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]
AND WE GOT RUSTY IN DOUGAL
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COUNTY.
RUSTY, WHAT'S FLIPPIN' YOUR
LID,
BIG BOY?
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00:03:28,500 --> 00:03:29,626
>> Rusty: HEY, BIG "E."
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00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,584
I HEARD WHAT YOU WAS SAYING
AND
EVERYTHING, BUT DON'T THE
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00:03:32,667 --> 00:03:34,626
CONSTITUTION CALL FOR
SEPARATION
OF CHURCH AND --
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00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:36,334
>> Early: NOW -- NOW, YOU HANG
ON NOW, AND I LET YOU SAY WHAT
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00:03:36,417 --> 00:03:37,959
YOU WANT TO SAY.
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00:03:38,042 --> 00:03:38,959
NOW, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
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00:03:39,042 --> 00:03:40,834
"ONE NATION UNDER GOD."
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00:03:40,918 --> 00:03:41,959
WHAT'S THAT MEAN TO YOU?!
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00:03:42,042 --> 00:03:44,125
>> Rusty: WELL, BIG "E," NOW,
THAT'S NOT THE POINT I WAS
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00:03:44,209 --> 00:03:45,834
TRYING TO MAKE --
>> Early: AH-AH-AH-AH-AH!
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00:03:45,918 --> 00:03:47,125
NOW, JUST HANG ON THERE, BUBBA.
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00:03:47,209 --> 00:03:48,417
LET ME TALK!
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00:03:48,500 --> 00:03:51,292
TO ME, THAT MEANS THAT JESUS IS
THE PRESIDENT AND THE COMMANDER
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00:03:51,375 --> 00:03:54,375
IN CHIEF OF THE ARMED FORCES AND
NATO AND THE SPECIAL OPS AND THE
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00:03:54,459 --> 00:03:57,125
007s AND ALL THEM OTHER 00ers.
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00:03:57,209 --> 00:03:58,792
HELL, HE RUNS THEM ALL FROM
HEAVEN!
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00:03:58,876 --> 00:04:01,542
>> Rusty: I'M PRETTY SURE THE
CONSTITUTION AND THE BIBLE ARE
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00:04:01,626 --> 00:04:02,792
TWO SEPARATE DOCUMENTS.
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00:04:02,876 --> 00:04:05,334
>> Early: OLD BENJAMIN FRANKLIN
DID NOT DIE UPON THE CROSS SO
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00:04:05,417 --> 00:04:06,959
YOU COULD SPOUT THAT MESS TO ME!
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00:04:07,042 --> 00:04:08,292
CONSIDER YOUR LID FLIPPED, SON!
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00:04:08,375 --> 00:04:10,000
>> Rusty: WAIT A MINUTE! I --
[ TOILET FLUSHES ]
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00:04:10,083 --> 00:04:10,876
>> FLUSHED!
[ DIAL TONE ]
>> Early: GRANNY IN DOUGAL
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COUNTY.
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00:04:12,459 --> 00:04:14,542
WELL, WHAT'S FLIPPIN' YOUR
LID,
LITTLE GAL?
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00:04:14,626 --> 00:04:16,334
>> Granny: THANKS FOR TAKING MY
CALL.
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00:04:16,417 --> 00:04:19,459
IS THIS THE NUMBER THAT SENDS
THE PEOPLE IN THE HELPY VAN TO
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00:04:19,542 --> 00:04:20,334
MY HOUSE?
AAAH!
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00:04:21,209 --> 00:04:23,250
[ DIAL TONE ]
>> Early: ANOTHER DAMN
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00:04:23,334 --> 00:04:25,042
LID-FLIPPER A-LOOKIN' FOR A
HANDOUT.
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00:04:25,125 --> 00:04:26,792
I'M LOCKING YOU IN THE FREEDOM
BOX!
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00:04:26,876 --> 00:04:28,167
>> LOCKED IN THE FREEDOM BOX!
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00:04:28,250 --> 00:04:30,000
[ POUNDING ]
>> Dan Halen: THE CREAM!
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00:04:30,083 --> 00:04:30,959
MENTION THE CREAM!
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00:04:31,042 --> 00:04:33,000
[ ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]
>> Early: LET ME TELL YOU
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00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,292
SOMETHING, FRIENDS.
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00:04:34,375 --> 00:04:36,334
THE ONLY THING I LOVE MORE THAN
GOD ALMIGHTY HISSELF AND AMERICA
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00:04:36,417 --> 00:04:40,626
IS DAN HALEN'S NEW "UNITED WE
TAN, DIVIDED WE BALD" HAIR
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00:04:40,709 --> 00:04:42,667
RESTORATION AND TANNING CREAM.
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00:04:42,751 --> 00:04:44,459
SHAMPOO? IT'S A HOT-DAMN 'POO!
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00:04:44,542 --> 00:04:48,167
I MEAN, I'VE GOT HAIR LIKE A
WILD-ASS BEAST, AND I'M TANNED
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00:04:48,250 --> 00:04:50,334
LIKE THE HIDE OF A LEATHER
FOOTBALL.
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00:04:50,417 --> 00:04:54,042
JUST LOOK AT MY LONG, LUXURIOUS
MANE, BUT NOT RIGHT NOW, 'CAUSE
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00:04:54,125 --> 00:04:55,209
THE WEBCAM'S DOWN.
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00:04:55,292 --> 00:04:58,709
COMING UP AFTER THE BREAK, I GOT
ME A MESSAGE FOR THE ACLU.
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00:04:58,792 --> 00:05:00,500
ACLU IN HELL! WHOO!
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00:05:00,584 --> 00:05:01,709
MY LID IS FLIPPED!
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00:05:01,792 --> 00:05:05,250
>> YOU'RE LISTENING TO YOUR NEWOPINION, COURTESY OF THE
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00:05:05,334 --> 00:05:06,042
BIG "E"!
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00:05:06,125 --> 00:05:08,167
>> Dan Halen: EARLY, THAT WAS
GREAT.
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00:05:08,250 --> 00:05:09,417
TALK MORE ABOUT THE CREAM.
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00:05:09,500 --> 00:05:11,334
UTILIZE THE CREAM IN YOUR
BELIEFS.
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00:05:11,417 --> 00:05:15,083
REMEMBER -- THE CREAM!
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00:05:15,167 --> 00:05:18,667
>> THE BIG "E" IS BACK ANDSHOOTING FROM THE HIP, WHERE
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00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,709
THE BRAINS ARE WHAT COME UP
WITH THE IDEAS!
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00:05:21,792 --> 00:05:25,500
>> Early: MARRIAGE IS A DIVINE
INSTITUTION BETWEEN ONE MAN AND
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00:05:25,584 --> 00:05:29,209
ONE WOMAN, WHERE THE MAN OWNS
THE WOMAN UNLESS THE BITCH RUNS
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00:05:29,292 --> 00:05:32,417
AROUND ON THE MAN WITH AN
ENTIRE
LANDSCAPING CREW OF MEXICAN
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00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:35,626
ILLEGALS, THEN THE MAN SHOULD
KILL THAT CHEATING-ASS WHORE.
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00:05:35,709 --> 00:05:36,792
USE THE CREAM.
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00:05:36,876 --> 00:05:40,751
>> WELL, WHAT IF THE MAN'S A
HALF-PINT RUNT-STICK WHO CAN'T
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00:05:40,834 --> 00:05:41,751
KEEP UP WITH ME IN THE SACK?
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00:05:41,834 --> 00:05:44,959
>> Early: [ SNIFFLES ]
THEY SHOULD STILL BE ABLE TO
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00:05:45,042 --> 00:05:46,459
WORK IT OUT FOR THE YOUNG'ERN.
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00:05:46,542 --> 00:05:47,876
USE THE DAMN CREAM!
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00:05:47,959 --> 00:05:50,417
>> ARE YOU READY TO GET YOURLIDFLIPPED?
165
00:05:50,500 --> 00:05:51,709
IT'S THE BIG "E"!
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00:05:51,792 --> 00:05:54,918
>> Early: EVERY LIFE IS SACRED,
EXCEPT FOR THAT ONE SUMBITCH WE
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00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,042
TRIED TO ABORT.
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00:05:56,125 --> 00:05:58,918
THAT FREELOADING SPERM-BLOSSOM
AIN'T WORTH A WHEAT PENNY.
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00:05:59,000 --> 00:05:59,959
YOU LISTENING, BOY?
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00:06:00,042 --> 00:06:01,542
YOU BEST DRY THAT DAMN THING
WITH A CHAMOIS CLOTH!
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00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:03,751
I DON'T WANT NO WATER SPOTS!
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00:06:03,834 --> 00:06:04,542
USE THE CREAM!
173
00:06:04,626 --> 00:06:05,751
>> GET THE CREAM IN YOU!
174
00:06:05,834 --> 00:06:07,709
EARLY CUYLER ON COOL 1680, THE
HEAT!
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00:06:07,792 --> 00:06:08,876
>> Early: THAT'S RIGHT.
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00:06:08,959 --> 00:06:09,918
DEATH PANELS.
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00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,125
BIG GOVERNMENT GONNA DECIDE
WHETHER YOU LIVE OR DIE.
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00:06:12,209 --> 00:06:13,209
>> Granny: OH, NO.
179
00:06:13,292 --> 00:06:14,500
>> Early: YOU WANT THAT FORYOURGRANDPARENTS?
180
00:06:14,584 --> 00:06:15,542
I MIGHT.
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00:06:15,626 --> 00:06:17,584
>> Granny: [ GASPS ]
>> Early: COULD MAKE IT EASIER
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00:06:17,667 --> 00:06:18,792
ON ME.
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00:06:18,876 --> 00:06:20,500
I MEAN, JUST 'CAUSE YOU AIN'T
ALL THERE DON'T MEAN YOU CAN'T
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00:06:20,584 --> 00:06:21,459
OPERATE A BUFF CLOTH.
185
00:06:21,542 --> 00:06:24,125
NOW, LET'S PUT AMERICA BACK TO
WORK!
186
00:06:24,209 --> 00:06:25,667
YOU HEAR ME YOU OLD, FEEBLE
BITCH?
187
00:06:25,751 --> 00:06:26,834
USE THE CREAM.
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00:06:26,918 --> 00:06:28,584
>> TRAIN YOUR SEMIAUTOMATICCROSSHAIRS ON THE LIBERAL
189
00:06:28,667 --> 00:06:29,417
BULLMESS.
190
00:06:29,500 --> 00:06:31,918
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> Sheriff: EARLY, I'M THE
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00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:32,417
SHERIFF.
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00:06:32,500 --> 00:06:33,834
I PROVIDE A SERVICE.
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00:06:33,918 --> 00:06:36,792
>> Early: YOU'RE TAKING MY TAX
DOLLARS AND REDISTRIBUTIZING IT
194
00:06:36,876 --> 00:06:37,751
TO YOUR POCKET.
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00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:39,250
THAT'S MARXISM THERE, RED.
196
00:06:39,334 --> 00:06:42,125
>> Sheriff: WELL, YOU KNOW, I-I
NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT QUITE
197
00:06:42,209 --> 00:06:42,667
THAT WAY.
>> Early: THAT'S RIGHT.
198
00:06:43,667 --> 00:06:44,459
I FLIPPED YOUR LID!
199
00:06:44,542 --> 00:06:45,584
>> Sheriff: WELL, I'LL BE
DAMNED, BIG "E."
200
00:06:45,667 --> 00:06:46,542
YOU SURE DID!
201
00:06:46,626 --> 00:06:49,125
>> FLIPPING THE LIDS OF THE LIDFLIPPERS!
202
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:51,459
>> Early: I'M ARMED AND
DANGEROUS WITH A TRUTH-BULLET
203
00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:54,167
GUN, AND I FIRED TRUTH IN YOUR
BRAIN AT CLOSE RANGE.
204
00:06:54,250 --> 00:06:57,250
>> PUMP YOUR SAWED-OFF THOUGHTGUNS WITH THE BIG "E."
205
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:58,834
[ GUNSHOT ]
[ DIAL TONE ]
206
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:00,500
>> Sheriff: AW, CHILL OUT,
LUTHER.
207
00:07:00,584 --> 00:07:05,000
JUST THINK -- SOON YOU'LL BE
REUNITED UP IN HEAVEN WITH, UH,
208
00:07:05,083 --> 00:07:06,959
THAT GIRL YOU...STRANGLED.
209
00:07:07,042 --> 00:07:08,834
>> Early: AND WHAT'S NEXT?
210
00:07:08,918 --> 00:07:11,834
PEOPLE GONNA MARRY A PAINT CAN
OR A ORANGUTAN OR A PERSON OF
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00:07:11,918 --> 00:07:13,626
THE SAME SEX JUST 'CAUSE THEY
LOVE IT SO DAMN MUCH?
212
00:07:13,709 --> 00:07:16,417
>> YOU'RE LISTENING TO YOUR NEWOPINION, COURTESY OF THE
213
00:07:16,500 --> 00:07:17,959
BIG "E."
214
00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:18,709
LID FLIPPED!
215
00:07:18,792 --> 00:07:20,000
>> Early: USE THE CREAM!
216
00:07:20,083 --> 00:07:20,834
>> TWO CREAMS!
>> Early: THAT'S RIGHT, PEOPLE!
217
00:07:21,751 --> 00:07:23,500
I AM LOCKED AND LOADED WITH
OPINIONS.
218
00:07:23,584 --> 00:07:26,834
AND I'M GONNA SHOOT
WASHINGTON, D.C., STRAIGHT IN
219
00:07:26,918 --> 00:07:28,334
THE EAR WITH MY BRAIN ISSUES.
220
00:07:28,417 --> 00:07:30,167
[ GUNSHOT ]
>> THE ORIGINAL STRAIGHT
221
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:33,042
SHOOTER, THE BIG "E," SHOOTING
THE BREEZE AND SHOOTING THE
222
00:07:33,125 --> 00:07:34,125
TRUTH!
223
00:07:34,209 --> 00:07:36,167
[ MACHINE-GUN FIRE ]
>> Early: YOU THINK YOU'RE
GONNA
224
00:07:36,250 --> 00:07:37,667
TAKE THIS HERE GUN AWAY FROM ME?
225
00:07:37,751 --> 00:07:39,209
>> GUNS! TRUTH! GUNS! TRUTH!
226
00:07:39,292 --> 00:07:40,209
BANG!
227
00:07:40,292 --> 00:07:42,042
>> Early: TRY TO THINK AGAIN
WITH NO SKULL MEAT.
228
00:07:42,125 --> 00:07:43,000
>> HE'S A COWBOY.[ GUNSHOT ][ EXPLOSION ]
229
00:07:43,751 --> 00:07:46,042
[ BOING! ]
[ EXPLOSION ]
230
00:07:46,125 --> 00:07:48,500
[ GUNSHOTS ]
>> Early: COME ON, NOW!
231
00:07:48,584 --> 00:07:50,459
GIVE IT HERE! ALL OF IT, BABY!
232
00:07:50,542 --> 00:07:52,250
IN THE BAG! WHOO!
233
00:07:52,334 --> 00:07:54,375
>> THE BIG "E" IN MY STORE.
234
00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:55,542
WELL, HOT GRAVY IN THE MORNING.
235
00:07:55,626 --> 00:07:56,542
>> Early: THAT'S RIGHT.
SMALL-BUSINESS MAN.
236
00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:58,250
IT'S ALL ABOUT YOU GUYS.
237
00:07:58,334 --> 00:08:01,000
NOW, YOU GET YOUR ASS ON THE
FLOOR AND SHUT THE HELL UP!
238
00:08:01,083 --> 00:08:02,667
>> WELL, BOY, I THOUGHT YOU'D
HAVE MORE HAIR USING THE
CREAM.
239
00:08:02,751 --> 00:08:05,209
>> Early: I SAID DON'T YOU LOOK
AT ME!
240
00:08:05,292 --> 00:08:06,584
WHERE THE HELL'S MY BOOK KIOSK?
241
00:08:06,667 --> 00:08:08,500
HOW THE HELL YOU EXPECT TO MOVE
UNITS?
242
00:08:08,584 --> 00:08:10,667
YOU GOT TO GET THE STANDEE OUT
HERE, DRAW IN THE FOOT TRAFFIC.
243
00:08:10,751 --> 00:08:14,042
I GOT A BOOK SIGNING WITH A
MEET-AND-GREET HERE IN 15
244
00:08:14,125 --> 00:08:14,834
MINUTES!
245
00:08:14,918 --> 00:08:16,000
>> SHOULD WE GO ON IN AND GET
HIM?
246
00:08:16,083 --> 00:08:18,500
>> Sheriff: NAH, BIG "E" SAID
THAT'D BE SOCIALIST, AND THE
247
00:08:18,584 --> 00:08:22,667
TRUTH IS A GUN THAT DON'T
SHOOT
PEOPLE IN THE TRUTH-BANG,
248
00:08:22,751 --> 00:08:25,918
SOMETHING, SOMETHING SHOOT-BANG.
249
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:29,250
YOU KNOW, HE JUST PUTS IT SO
WELL, AND I CAN'T GET CLOSE TO
250
00:08:29,334 --> 00:08:30,417
WHAT HE SAYS.
251
00:08:30,500 --> 00:08:33,417
>> HELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST
GOT OFF THE BEACH IN DESTIN.
252
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:35,542
>> Sheriff: THEN GIVE ME SOME
MORE NOW.
253
00:08:35,626 --> 00:08:36,459
COME ON. ALL THE WAY, BABY.
254
00:08:36,542 --> 00:08:38,792
>> WHICH ONE YOU WANT?
255
00:08:38,876 --> 00:08:40,459
"UNITED WE TAN" OR
"DIVIDED WE BALD"?
256
00:08:40,542 --> 00:08:43,709
>> Sheriff: AH, DO 'EM BOTH,
DENNY.
257
00:08:43,792 --> 00:08:44,626
YOU KNOW WHAT BIG "E" SAYS.
258
00:08:44,709 --> 00:08:49,083
"JUST USE THE CREAM."
259
00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:53,667
>> Early: "TO GLENN'S WIFE,
FINEST PIECE OF TAIL IN THE
260
00:08:53,751 --> 00:08:54,918
REGION."
261
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,709
>> SHE'S A BIG FAN, SO, UH, THIS
"X" WILL REALLY MEAN A LOT TO
262
00:08:57,792 --> 00:08:58,542
HER.
263
00:08:58,626 --> 00:08:59,709
>> Early: I CAN NEITHER READ
NOR
WRITE.
264
00:08:59,792 --> 00:09:00,334
NEXT!
265
00:09:00,417 --> 00:09:01,542
BIG 'UN WITH YOUR SKI MASK.
266
00:09:01,626 --> 00:09:05,417
YOU HERE TO SHOOT THE TRUTH
WITH
THE ORIGINAL SHOOT-TRUTHER?
267
00:09:05,500 --> 00:09:09,751
[ GUNSHOT, CROWD GASPS ]
[ MONITOR BEEPING ]
268
00:09:09,834 --> 00:09:11,667
>> Early: [ GROANS ]
>> Rusty: DADDY!
269
00:09:11,751 --> 00:09:12,792
DADDY, YOU'RE ALIVE!
270
00:09:12,876 --> 00:09:15,292
>> Early: [ GRUMBLES ]
>> Granny: OH, WHAT'S HE
271
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:16,751
CARRYING ON ABOUT?
272
00:09:16,834 --> 00:09:19,792
>> Rusty: DADDY SAYS HE NEEDS TO
GET BACK TO HIS RIGHT-WING RADIO
273
00:09:19,876 --> 00:09:20,459
PROGRAM.
274
00:09:20,542 --> 00:09:21,876
>> Dan Halen: NO. SORRY, EARLY.
275
00:09:21,959 --> 00:09:23,751
YOU'RE NO LONGER THE RIGHT
SPOKESMAN FOR MY PATENTED
276
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:24,918
TWO-CREAM SYSTEM.
277
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:27,751
BROCK BELL REPLACED YOU TWO
WEEKS AGO, RIGHT AFTER HE SHOT
278
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:28,542
YOU.
279
00:09:28,626 --> 00:09:30,959
>> Early: [ Muffled ] WHAT THE
HELL?
280
00:09:31,042 --> 00:09:32,500
>> BROCK "LIBERTY" BELL GLAD TOBE BACK CHAPPIN' HIDES AND
281
00:09:32,584 --> 00:09:34,334
WHIPPIN' OPINIONS.
282
00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:35,167
BACK AT YA BETTER THAN EVER.
283
00:09:35,250 --> 00:09:36,751
WELL, THIS LEG'S STILL GOT
PINS
IN IT.
284
00:09:36,834 --> 00:09:39,500
>> Rusty: DADDY SAYS HE'S
GONNA
TAKE HIS SHOW UNDERGROUND.
285
00:09:39,584 --> 00:09:42,751
HE'S GONNA TAKE YOU AND
BROCK BELL ON ALL BY HIMSELF.
286
00:09:42,834 --> 00:09:46,000
>> Early: [ MUMBLING ]
>> Rusty: DADDY, HE'S ALREADY
287
00:09:46,083 --> 00:09:46,667
GONE.
288
00:09:46,751 --> 00:09:47,876
YOU REALLY WANT ME TO SAY THAT?
289
00:09:47,959 --> 00:09:49,626
>> Early: [ MUMBLES ANGRILY ]
>> Rusty: NOW GET YOUR ASS ON
290
00:09:49,709 --> 00:09:51,626
OUT OF HERE!
291
00:09:55,209 --> 00:09:59,834
>> Early: [ MUMBLING ]
[ KEYS TAPPING ]
292
00:09:59,918 --> 00:10:01,459
>> Granny: AMEN, BIG "E"!
293
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:02,626
THEM MEXICANS ARE TAKING OUR
JOBS!
294
00:10:02,709 --> 00:10:03,626
>> Rusty: NO, GRANNY.
295
00:10:03,709 --> 00:10:06,626
UH, HE'S ACTUALLY TRASHING
HEALTHCARE RIGHT NOW.
296
00:10:06,709 --> 00:10:09,167
>> Granny: WELL, THAT DON'T
MEAN
I DON'T STILL AGREE.
297
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,751
>> Rusty: SHOULD WE TELL HIM
THAT'S A PINECONE HE'S TALKING
298
00:10:11,834 --> 00:10:12,834
INTO?
299
00:10:12,918 --> 00:10:13,751
>> Early: [ GRUMBLING ]
>> Granny: [ Whispers ] WE'LL
300
00:10:13,834 --> 00:10:16,500
TELL HIM AT THE COMMERCIAL
BREAK.
301
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:18,959
[ DOOR OPENS ]
>> Sheriff: UH, HEY, BIG "E."
302
00:10:19,042 --> 00:10:21,167
UH, WHICH CREAM GOES WHERE, NOW?
303
00:10:21,250 --> 00:10:25,542
>> George Jones: ♪ CRYSTAL ♪
♪ HOTTER THAN A $2 PISTOL ♪
304
00:10:25,626 --> 00:10:31,167
♪ I'M FIXIN' TO STOP LOVING
YOU
TODAY ♪
305
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:32,626
♪ CRYSTAL ♪
[ WHISTLES ]
306
00:10:32,709 --> 00:10:35,792
GIRL, YOU HEAR THAT WHISTLE.
307
00:10:35,876 --> 00:10:40,709
IT'S THE SOUND OF THE WIND
BLOWING THROUGH THAT BULLET
HOLE
308
00:10:40,792 --> 00:10:47,751
IN YOUR SKULL THAT I JUST MADE.
309
00:10:47,834 --> 00:10:54,751
♪ MY DREAMS ARE ALL DEAD
AND BURIED ♪
310
00:10:54,834 --> 00:11:03,167
♪ SOMETIMES I WISH THE SUN
WOULD JUST EXPLODE ♪
311
00:11:03,250 --> 00:11:10,083
♪ WHEN GOD COMES AND CALLS ME
TO HIS KINGDOM ♪
312
00:11:10,167 --> 00:11:17,083
♪ I'LL TAKE ALL YOU SONS OF
BITCHES WHEN I GO ♪
313
00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:23,792
♪ LET 'ER BLOW ♪
♪ LET HER GO ♪
24891
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