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DOWNLOADED FROM WWW.AWAFIM.TV
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[soldiers mutter]
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[yelling]
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[both groan]
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I've had it.
We'll retreat and wait for relief troops.
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[dramatic music plays]
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[narrator] The year is 50 BC.
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All of Gaul is occupied by the Romans.
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[woman] All? No way.
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One small village
of indomitable Gauls still holds out.
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Yes, yes.
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All right, but life's not easy
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for the Roman legionaries
who garrison the fortified camps
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of Totorum, Aquarium,
Laudanum and Compendium.
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Metadata, that's enough!
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Can't say that to Caesar.
He'll throw us to the lions!
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But all of Gaul is not occupied.
To say that would be untrue.
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Yes, I know, but trust me, it's fine.
It's almost occupied so we say "all".
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00:00:50,854 --> 00:00:53,854
But "all" and "almost"
are not the same thing though.
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They are, more or less.
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What do you know anyway?
You've never been to Gaul.
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[coughs] I'd be better off there
than in this dusty cellar.
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Hey, stylus-pushers! What you doing?
They're waiting for you.
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00:01:06,062 --> 00:01:08,562
-What? So Caesar's here?
-He's on the way.
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And my uncle?
26
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Oh, yeah, he's there for sure.
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[sighs]
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Oh, hang on, I've got another one.
Have you heard this one?
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Do any of you know the difference
between a Gaul and a wild boar?
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Eh? No? Nobody?
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Well, one is covered in hair
and goes… [squeals and grunts]
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And the other one…
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is a wild boar!
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[laughs]
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[squeals and grunts]
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[laughs] A wild boar!
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[laughs]
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No, 'cause you thought I'd say
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that the other one was a Gaul,
didn't you, eh?
40
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'Cause wild boars are very hairy
and go… [squeals]
41
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But I didn't!
42
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And that's the joke!
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[laughs]
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Oh.
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[ominous music plays]
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-Ave, Caesar!
-[grumbles]
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And so, for your triumph, we have created…
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a mosaic!
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A mosaic?
50
00:02:09,812 --> 00:02:10,729
Voilà!
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I do confess a little bias,
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but I assure you there's good reason.
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See here, good against evil, okay?
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Half of your imperial face on the left,
and a smaller one on the right.
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Vercingetorix! [chuckles]
Okay, so what does it illustrate?
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The might of Rome,
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and how she dominates over the weak.
You see?
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00:02:29,021 --> 00:02:31,771
As for the form,
we've tried to break the mould.
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Not classical, no pastel.
Just a lotta red! Boom!
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00:02:38,562 --> 00:02:40,146
All the focus groups gave great…
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00:02:40,229 --> 00:02:42,437
I wanted a bold concept
to mark my triumph,
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and you give me a mosaic?
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What a silly idea. No.
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Very well. Check out this one.
65
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I know what you're going to say.
It's another mosaic.
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But this is your triumph, Caesar!
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What do we want to say?
What's our key message?
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-That all of Gaul is occupied!
-[woman clears throat] Erm…
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00:03:02,354 --> 00:03:03,812
[sighs]
70
00:03:03,896 --> 00:03:05,854
Yes, Mummy? Go on.
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00:03:05,937 --> 00:03:07,521
Er, "all of Gaul is occupied"?
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00:03:07,604 --> 00:03:10,687
No, no. One small village
of indomitable Gauls still holds out.
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00:03:10,771 --> 00:03:12,312
-Mummy, come on.
-Hmm?
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00:03:12,396 --> 00:03:14,479
It's one small village. We can say "all".
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Yes, it's more or less
all entirely occupied
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without exception I assure you.
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Yes, but one village is not quite all.
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-Fastanfurius!
-Er, yes?
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Why are those Gauls,
why are they still… Gauls?
80
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It's because of their magic potion.
81
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It gives them superhuman strength!
It's impossible to…
82
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"Impossible" is not Roman!
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I want to see
those Gauls grovel before me,
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00:03:35,687 --> 00:03:38,896
for them to submit to Rome's power,
once and for all!
85
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And to obey the laws of Rome!
86
00:03:41,562 --> 00:03:44,062
Ahem. There might be a way…
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00:03:44,896 --> 00:03:46,104
by using Gallic law.
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[clears throat] I'm sorry, Caesar.
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My niece does have a habit
of talking out of turn.
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Metadata, keep quiet and put on a toga.
You're dressed like a barbarian.
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00:03:56,771 --> 00:03:58,771
The year is minus 50,
I can wear what I like.
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[softly] Fifty before what?
93
00:04:00,562 --> 00:04:04,604
O Caesar, I am sure you are familiar
with the Big Fight?
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00:04:05,187 --> 00:04:07,854
What? Yes, yes. Am I ever.
95
00:04:07,937 --> 00:04:11,229
When a Gallic chief wants
to take control of another village,
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00:04:11,312 --> 00:04:14,312
he challenges the other chief
to a fight, man to man.
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[8-bit digital grunting]
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[digital cheering]
99
00:04:16,979 --> 00:04:20,604
The chief still standing at the end
becomes the chief of both clans.
100
00:04:20,687 --> 00:04:24,687
So, if a Gallo-Roman chief,
a Gallic chief committed to helping Rome,
101
00:04:24,771 --> 00:04:27,396
beats the chief of the indomitable Gauls,
102
00:04:27,479 --> 00:04:30,271
he will be the new chief for both clans.
103
00:04:30,354 --> 00:04:32,896
And the Gauls will then be Roman?
104
00:04:32,979 --> 00:04:35,729
Gallo-Roman. But yeah, you can say Roman.
105
00:04:35,812 --> 00:04:38,271
We'll defeat and humiliate them all!
106
00:04:38,354 --> 00:04:41,854
And we will see them caught out
by their own traditions!
107
00:04:41,937 --> 00:04:44,146
[laughs] Enough of mosaics!
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The Big Fight will celebrate my triumph!
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A spectacular show!
110
00:04:49,604 --> 00:04:51,062
And they will bow down,
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all those Gauls prostrate
on the floor before me!
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[laughs menacingly]
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They'll kiss my boot!
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-[laughs]
-[lightning crashes]
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J'adore.
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You're in charge of organizing
the Big Fight, Bigfarma.
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00:05:07,271 --> 00:05:09,646
Er, Metadata. My name's Metadata.
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Start packing,
you leave for Gaul tomorrow.
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For Gaul? Thank you, Caesar, thank you!
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00:05:14,521 --> 00:05:16,854
Fastanfurius,
you'll give her a hand with logistics.
121
00:05:16,937 --> 00:05:17,979
He's coming too?
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Succeed, or I'll throw you to the lions.
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00:05:20,604 --> 00:05:23,771
-[lightning crashes]
-Lions, er… the animal?
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With the long hair?
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Caesar has spoken!
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I'll go, I'll see, I'll conquer.
127
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Oh! That's a very good phrase,
we'll get it engraved.
128
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And then I'll come back,
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00:05:36,437 --> 00:05:38,229
I'll tell you all about it,
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00:05:38,312 --> 00:05:41,062
and… I'll have a bite to eat.
131
00:05:41,146 --> 00:05:43,021
Hmm. Maybe not that one.
132
00:05:43,562 --> 00:05:46,646
[lively classical theme music plays]
133
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[upbeat Celtic folk music plays]
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00:05:51,979 --> 00:05:53,979
[villagers chatter pleasantly]
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[grunting and laughing]
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00:06:01,187 --> 00:06:02,604
-Huh?
-[exclaims]
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[chomping]
138
00:06:04,771 --> 00:06:06,854
[laughing]
139
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-[both laugh]
-Now, children! Now, children!
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00:06:13,146 --> 00:06:14,354
[inhales deeply]
141
00:06:14,437 --> 00:06:17,729
The Romans haven't bothered us
for 30 days.
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Thanks to our druid's magic potion,
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we are and will remain indomitable!
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-[all cheer]
-Long live our druid!
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Long live Getafix!
146
00:06:28,104 --> 00:06:30,146
Thank you, my friends. Thank you.
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But…
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-But!
-[bearers grunt]
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We have nothing to fear,
but the sky above falling upon our heads.
150
00:06:38,479 --> 00:06:42,937
So, let's give thanks to Toutatis
with this banquet and these offerings!
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[all cheer]
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I composed a ballad for Toutatis.
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And it is called,
"Toutatis, Totally Yours".
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[sings discordantly] ♪ Toutatis ♪
♪ Totally yours… ♪
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[exclaims]
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[villagers chuckle]
157
00:07:02,521 --> 00:07:03,979
-Asterix.
-Hmm?
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Listen, erm, can I say this?
159
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"This menhir is just like our village,
solid as a menhir".
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Oh yeah. Very nice.
161
00:07:12,021 --> 00:07:14,562
I mean, comparing the village
to a menhir and all that.
162
00:07:14,646 --> 00:07:17,562
Nice. But you do know
you're saying "menhir" twice?
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I know, but there aren't many ways
to say "menhir", you know?
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00:07:20,479 --> 00:07:23,437
-I know. You are right.
-What if you said it with a song?
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[inhales]
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♪ This menhir… ♪
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-[yelps]
-[cat howls]
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Impedimenta,
weren't you and Vitalstatistix
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00:07:31,729 --> 00:07:33,104
going on a trip to Lutetia?
170
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:37,104
Yeah, but what with the invading Romans,
looking after our hut and all that,
171
00:07:37,187 --> 00:07:38,562
it's hard to find the time.
172
00:07:38,646 --> 00:07:39,646
Yeah. I hear you.
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Even so, we go tomorrow. Don't we?
174
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-Right, Piggywiggy?
-Huh?
175
00:07:44,146 --> 00:07:46,354
-Lutetia, tomorrow.
-Oh, yeah. Sure.
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[Getafix] Hey.
Easy does it with the sauce.
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00:07:49,646 --> 00:07:54,104
-Why? I'm giving thanks to Toutatis.
-In Lutetia, it's only vegetables.
178
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Come on, it's just fat.
It's never hurt anyone, has it? No.
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-[chanting] Offerings!
-Oh. Huh?
180
00:08:00,312 --> 00:08:02,604
-Offerings!
-Okay, all right.
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00:08:03,104 --> 00:08:05,687
[laughs] Now whose is this offering?
182
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[all laugh]
183
00:08:08,479 --> 00:08:10,146
-[woman 1] Speech!
-[woman 2] Obelix!
184
00:08:10,229 --> 00:08:12,604
-[man] Speech!
-[woman 3] Obelix, give us a speech!
185
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Come on then!
186
00:08:17,646 --> 00:08:18,521
Er…
187
00:08:18,604 --> 00:08:20,146
[whines inquisitively]
188
00:08:22,021 --> 00:08:24,687
"This menhir…" Obelix, "This menhir…"
189
00:08:25,354 --> 00:08:26,812
[nervously] This menhir…
190
00:08:26,896 --> 00:08:28,604
-[woman] Louder!
-[man] Speak up!
191
00:08:28,687 --> 00:08:31,687
-[heart beats slowly]
-[high-pitched ringing]
192
00:08:31,771 --> 00:08:34,562
[Obelix breathes slowly]
193
00:08:34,646 --> 00:08:35,896
[heartbeat speeds up]
194
00:08:36,521 --> 00:08:38,521
[audio distorting]
195
00:08:40,062 --> 00:08:44,271
Okay, Obelix feels this menhir
is just like the unity of our village,
196
00:08:44,354 --> 00:08:45,312
solid as a rock.
197
00:08:45,396 --> 00:08:46,479
-[all cheer]
-Yeah!
198
00:08:46,562 --> 00:08:49,062
[man] Solid as a rock, that's what we are!
199
00:08:49,146 --> 00:08:50,812
[upbeat Celtic folk music resumes]
200
00:08:50,896 --> 00:08:54,604
-Thank you, Asterix.
-That's what friends are for, right?
201
00:08:55,229 --> 00:08:57,187
Mmm. [chuckles]
202
00:08:57,271 --> 00:08:59,646
[bard struggling]
203
00:08:59,729 --> 00:09:02,271
[grumbles unintelligibly]
204
00:09:04,354 --> 00:09:06,354
[gentle Hawaiian music plays]
205
00:09:11,187 --> 00:09:12,604
Potus?
206
00:09:13,479 --> 00:09:14,521
Yeah?
207
00:09:15,146 --> 00:09:17,479
Po-po-tu-tus?
208
00:09:17,562 --> 00:09:20,062
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah?
209
00:09:20,854 --> 00:09:21,896
[in male voice] Potus?
210
00:09:22,479 --> 00:09:23,812
-Huh?
-Potus!
211
00:09:23,896 --> 00:09:24,771
[yells]
212
00:09:24,854 --> 00:09:26,979
-[objects clatter]
-[horse snorts]
213
00:09:27,604 --> 00:09:28,646
Who's that?
214
00:09:29,562 --> 00:09:31,812
Oh, relief troops. Oh.
215
00:09:31,896 --> 00:09:33,396
Guys, it's the relief troops.
216
00:09:33,479 --> 00:09:35,021
[soldiers lazily] Yay.
217
00:09:35,104 --> 00:09:37,271
-Were you just under attack?
-Huh?
218
00:09:38,271 --> 00:09:41,229
Oh no, no, no.
No, it's just that yesterday,
219
00:09:41,979 --> 00:09:44,437
we celebrated 30 days
without fighting the Gauls.
220
00:09:44,521 --> 00:09:45,646
-[back cracks]
-[grunts]
221
00:09:45,729 --> 00:09:47,604
And we got all got a bit sozzled.
222
00:09:47,687 --> 00:09:51,146
-Dear me. Just as well we're here.
-Yeah, about time. Right.
223
00:09:51,729 --> 00:09:53,854
Good. Super, super.
224
00:09:54,354 --> 00:09:56,937
It's great to see you,
and it's nice to chat.
225
00:09:57,021 --> 00:09:59,896
I don't want to get in your way.
I'll hand over to you.
226
00:10:00,646 --> 00:10:01,937
All right? Ave!
227
00:10:03,729 --> 00:10:04,771
Stay where you are.
228
00:10:04,854 --> 00:10:07,812
Why? I thought
you're in command now, so I'll go.
229
00:10:07,896 --> 00:10:08,854
-Ave?
-No.
230
00:10:08,937 --> 00:10:13,562
No ave. Prepare tents for my soldiers.
You and your men are being requisitioned.
231
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,437
Requisitioned? But why, sir?
232
00:10:15,521 --> 00:10:19,646
To get rid of those hairy Gauls
once and for all.
233
00:10:19,729 --> 00:10:22,562
Operation Big Fight has started.
234
00:10:22,646 --> 00:10:23,812
[snorts]
235
00:10:24,604 --> 00:10:25,687
[snorts]
236
00:10:26,479 --> 00:10:29,396
[man groans and screams]
237
00:10:29,479 --> 00:10:31,521
[man] Is someone slaughtering a wild boar?
238
00:10:31,604 --> 00:10:34,062
[woman] No, it's the bard
practising a lullaby.
239
00:10:34,146 --> 00:10:36,146
Oh, no, I'm here!
240
00:10:36,229 --> 00:10:38,979
[screams]
241
00:10:39,062 --> 00:10:41,062
Been wanting to go to Lutetia for ages.
242
00:10:41,146 --> 00:10:44,312
But no! Oh, no. Of course not.
Because he stuffed his face
243
00:10:44,396 --> 00:10:46,812
and he feels
like the sky's fallen on his head.
244
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,562
[groans] Not on my head.
245
00:10:48,646 --> 00:10:50,521
Maybe more like… here?
246
00:10:50,604 --> 00:10:52,104
[screams]
247
00:10:52,687 --> 00:10:53,604
[groans]
248
00:10:53,687 --> 00:10:55,646
There you go, it's the liver.
249
00:10:55,729 --> 00:10:57,771
I didn't know that your liver could hurt.
250
00:10:58,354 --> 00:11:01,229
Impedimenta and I told you,
but you never listen.
251
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,396
You ate too much.
252
00:11:02,479 --> 00:11:04,229
I didn't know you could eat too much.
253
00:11:04,312 --> 00:11:07,687
-You must cure it with a potion.
-You can't fix everything with potions.
254
00:11:07,771 --> 00:11:10,104
-I didn't know you couldn't…
-All right, Obelix.
255
00:11:10,187 --> 00:11:12,521
If you can't manage to eat less,
get some help.
256
00:11:12,604 --> 00:11:15,104
Getafix told you
who to go and see, didn't he?
257
00:11:15,187 --> 00:11:18,146
Apothika, Apothika, I know.
258
00:11:18,729 --> 00:11:20,354
I'm not going to see that quack,
259
00:11:20,437 --> 00:11:23,521
'cause there's nothing wrong with me.
I actually feel back to normal.
260
00:11:23,604 --> 00:11:25,062
-It doesn't hurt?
-Not at all.
261
00:11:25,146 --> 00:11:27,062
-You sure?
-[screams]
262
00:11:28,646 --> 00:11:30,312
Ooh, can I press there as well?
263
00:11:30,396 --> 00:11:31,562
[screams]
264
00:11:31,646 --> 00:11:32,896
[whimpers] Oh, no…
265
00:11:32,979 --> 00:11:34,687
-No, Obelix, don't touch.
-Touch what?
266
00:11:34,771 --> 00:11:35,771
-Well, that.
-No…
267
00:11:35,854 --> 00:11:37,479
[screams]
268
00:11:38,062 --> 00:11:40,687
Be careful, children.
His liver's not a Roman road.
269
00:11:40,771 --> 00:11:41,729
[Dogmatix barks]
270
00:11:42,437 --> 00:11:44,729
Come here, Dogmatix!
Come here, little doggie.
271
00:11:44,812 --> 00:11:47,562
No, no, no. [screams]
272
00:11:47,646 --> 00:11:49,479
[groans]
273
00:11:49,562 --> 00:11:51,521
Fine, enough. Drink this.
274
00:11:52,271 --> 00:11:53,229
Ah…
275
00:11:55,062 --> 00:11:56,021
Thank you.
276
00:11:56,104 --> 00:11:59,271
Join me in Lutetia if you feel better,
'cause I am going.
277
00:11:59,354 --> 00:12:02,521
But Pidiped, you can't go
to Lutetia on your own.
278
00:12:02,604 --> 00:12:04,021
The journey there isn't safe…
279
00:12:04,104 --> 00:12:07,104
-Getafix will give me some magic potion.
-But there isn't any more.
280
00:12:07,187 --> 00:12:08,812
Then make some more!
281
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,354
-[door slams]
-[Dogmatix whines]
282
00:12:14,187 --> 00:12:16,187
[Vitalstatistix screams]
283
00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:20,396
[Metadata] So, the VIP box could be… here.
284
00:12:20,979 --> 00:12:22,979
Great, we can see the village already.
285
00:12:23,062 --> 00:12:26,646
What squalor. I'd burn it all down
without a second thought.
286
00:12:26,729 --> 00:12:28,146
Yeah, but that's not the plan.
287
00:12:28,229 --> 00:12:31,646
Okay, so, step one. We give the Gauls
one more chance to surrender.
288
00:12:32,229 --> 00:12:34,479
-How about we just jump to step two?
-[sighs]
289
00:12:34,562 --> 00:12:38,146
In step two, we find a Gallo-Roman chief
to fight Vitalstatistix.
290
00:12:38,229 --> 00:12:41,646
In step three, he wins the Big Fight,
the Gauls become Gallo-Romans,
291
00:12:41,729 --> 00:12:42,937
victory to Caesar!
292
00:12:44,937 --> 00:12:47,104
Okay, it kinda feels
293
00:12:47,187 --> 00:12:50,437
like we just skipped step two-B,
where they don't drink magic potion,
294
00:12:50,521 --> 00:12:52,396
because that really is the main problem.
295
00:12:53,396 --> 00:12:56,979
Hmm. So, isolate the druid
during the fight.
296
00:12:57,062 --> 00:13:00,146
No druid, no magic potion. Easy as A-V-E.
297
00:13:00,229 --> 00:13:03,771
-Metadata, how much should we clear?
-The lot. You must clear it all.
298
00:13:03,854 --> 00:13:06,021
-Come on then. Let's get started.
-No, hang on!
299
00:13:06,104 --> 00:13:07,437
Do we need to cut them all?
300
00:13:07,521 --> 00:13:10,062
So, what do we do now?
301
00:13:10,146 --> 00:13:11,854
We'll do what she said.
302
00:13:11,937 --> 00:13:13,521
We will isolate the druid.
303
00:13:14,104 --> 00:13:17,021
But for evermore, in the earth.
304
00:13:17,104 --> 00:13:19,687
Take a few men with you.
You will take care of it now.
305
00:13:19,771 --> 00:13:22,021
-Me?
-What are you waiting for?!
306
00:13:22,104 --> 00:13:23,396
[snorts]
307
00:13:23,479 --> 00:13:25,937
We'll end up
with two indomitable villages.
308
00:13:26,021 --> 00:13:27,771
I can see it a mile off.
309
00:13:28,479 --> 00:13:29,771
[flies buzzing]
310
00:13:29,854 --> 00:13:31,187
So what's that one?
311
00:13:31,271 --> 00:13:33,021
That one there is a catfish.
312
00:13:33,104 --> 00:13:34,771
-Mmm.
-Ooh, no, no. Sorry.
313
00:13:34,854 --> 00:13:36,396
That one's actually sea bream.
314
00:13:36,479 --> 00:13:39,021
Unhygienix, are you sure
your fish aren't stale?
315
00:13:39,104 --> 00:13:41,687
You're joking? I picked them up
on the beach last week.
316
00:13:41,771 --> 00:13:43,437
I stuck to the lukewarm chain.
317
00:13:43,521 --> 00:13:45,562
So you can eat them
till the cows come home.
318
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:49,521
-Hmm. There's a lot of flies though.
-No, I won't charge you for them.
319
00:13:49,604 --> 00:13:51,104
Hang on. Getafix?
320
00:13:51,187 --> 00:13:53,979
-Do you sell wild boar?
-No, I only sell fish.
321
00:13:54,562 --> 00:13:57,396
-Shame.
-You know, I wouldn't mind, believe me.
322
00:13:57,479 --> 00:13:58,812
But you have to specialise.
323
00:13:59,437 --> 00:14:01,812
-Where are you heading, o druid?
-To the forest.
324
00:14:01,896 --> 00:14:04,104
I'm going to look for ingredients
for the potion,
325
00:14:04,187 --> 00:14:06,146
since it seems that's all I'm good for.
326
00:14:06,229 --> 00:14:09,021
-I'll go with you.
-No, you won't, thank you.
327
00:14:09,104 --> 00:14:11,146
A bit of solitude will do me good.
328
00:14:12,937 --> 00:14:13,896
Right.
329
00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:17,146
You know, I get why he wants
to be alone for a while.
330
00:14:17,229 --> 00:14:19,896
-Hmm?
-When you see the same faces every day.
331
00:14:19,979 --> 00:14:22,854
I'm so thankful we're surrounded
by the Romans, or else, I…
332
00:14:22,937 --> 00:14:25,521
-You'd suffocate? Mmm.
-That's exactly what I mean.
333
00:14:27,521 --> 00:14:29,812
[soldier 1] Hey! Amazing camouflage.
334
00:14:29,896 --> 00:14:31,187
Seriously. Well done.
335
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:33,687
[soldier 2] Oh, thanks,
that's very kind of you.
336
00:14:33,771 --> 00:14:35,687
And those acorns. [chuckles]
337
00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:36,771
Great idea.
338
00:14:36,854 --> 00:14:41,187
Well, I thought, oak tree forest… acorns.
It kinda makes sense, you know?
339
00:14:41,271 --> 00:14:42,687
-I mean…
-Oh yeah, it sure does.
340
00:14:42,771 --> 00:14:45,687
Had it been a chestnut tree forest,
I'd have used chestnuts.
341
00:14:45,771 --> 00:14:47,146
Of course, yeah, yeah.
342
00:14:47,229 --> 00:14:49,604
But since they are oak trees,
I went for acorns…
343
00:14:49,687 --> 00:14:51,896
Shhh! Shut up. They're gonna spot us.
344
00:14:52,521 --> 00:14:55,104
Okay, follow me. In silence.
345
00:14:55,187 --> 00:14:57,354
By Mercury, Mars, Juno and Jupiter.
346
00:14:59,062 --> 00:15:01,646
Hey, we have too many gods, don't we?
347
00:15:01,729 --> 00:15:03,271
I think so.
348
00:15:03,354 --> 00:15:07,021
-We should pick one and stick with that.
-What, one god for everything?
349
00:15:07,104 --> 00:15:10,229
A god of war, god of the earth,
god of the sea, god of the harvest?
350
00:15:10,312 --> 00:15:11,896
That's a big job, don't you think?
351
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:13,979
-[soldier 2] Maybe not for the harvest.
-Oh.
352
00:15:14,062 --> 00:15:17,562
I mean, we are talking about a god,
but they could be a goddess too, because…
353
00:15:17,646 --> 00:15:20,062
-[Potus groans] Shut up!
-We'll carry on later.
354
00:15:20,729 --> 00:15:23,729
[Obelix whistles and hums]
355
00:15:24,687 --> 00:15:28,396
[Asterix breathes deeply]
Thinking what I'm thinking, Obelix?
356
00:15:28,479 --> 00:15:31,729
Yep. Unhygienix, our fishmonger,
should also sell wild boar.
357
00:15:31,812 --> 00:15:36,687
No, no. No, I'm worried about our druid
out there all alone in the forest.
358
00:15:36,771 --> 00:15:38,646
Right, I'm going. You coming too?
359
00:15:39,396 --> 00:15:42,896
Yeah. I'll finish this later.
It's not an urgent order.
360
00:15:45,896 --> 00:15:48,104
But are you…
Aren't you leaving your menhir here?
361
00:15:48,187 --> 00:15:50,187
I don't wanna a kid to pinch it!
362
00:15:50,687 --> 00:15:53,354
[gently suspenseful classical music plays]
363
00:15:53,437 --> 00:15:56,562
Of course, not one of them asking,
"Getafix, are you tired?"
364
00:15:56,646 --> 00:16:00,021
"Do you want to rest?" No, of course not.
365
00:16:00,104 --> 00:16:03,312
"Our druid Getafix is here
to heal everyone, 24 hours a day."
366
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:04,562
That's how it is.
367
00:16:05,146 --> 00:16:06,604
Oh, what a beauty!
368
00:16:11,521 --> 00:16:12,354
There.
369
00:16:13,229 --> 00:16:14,187
So…
370
00:16:14,854 --> 00:16:18,479
Four-leaf clover, four-leaf clover.
371
00:16:18,562 --> 00:16:21,729
Four-leaf clover.
No, that's a five-toe foot.
372
00:16:22,229 --> 00:16:23,062
A foot?
373
00:16:23,146 --> 00:16:24,271
Capture him!
374
00:16:28,271 --> 00:16:31,812
[Obelix] Okay, listen.
Unhygienix won't sell wild boar.
375
00:16:31,896 --> 00:16:33,562
That's his right. We can't make him.
376
00:16:33,646 --> 00:16:35,354
-That's the end of it.
-[Asterix] Hmm.
377
00:16:35,437 --> 00:16:38,979
[Obelix] I think it'd be fair
for those villagers who don't like fish…
378
00:16:39,062 --> 00:16:39,896
[Asterix] Ah.
379
00:16:39,979 --> 00:16:43,104
…for there to be,
I don't know, some kind of place
380
00:16:43,187 --> 00:16:47,187
for them to sell, exchange,
trade wild boars, for instance.
381
00:16:47,271 --> 00:16:49,646
-[Asterix] Hmm.
-I'm thinking aloud, you know.
382
00:16:49,729 --> 00:16:52,521
Yes, so actually,
just like a fish shop, there would be…
383
00:16:52,604 --> 00:16:54,604
-A wild boar shop.
-Okay, right.
384
00:16:54,687 --> 00:16:55,812
Yeah. You know?
385
00:16:55,896 --> 00:16:57,771
-Understood. Mmm.
-Yeah. [laughs]
386
00:16:57,854 --> 00:16:59,896
-For all those who don't like fish.
-Yes.
387
00:16:59,979 --> 00:17:01,437
-There's a lot of us.
-Mm-hmm.
388
00:17:01,521 --> 00:17:02,687
-Me for a start.
-Hmm.
389
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:03,687
-Dogmatix.
-[yaps]
390
00:17:03,771 --> 00:17:08,062
Yeah, but hang on a moment.
So, you'd sell menhirs and wild boar?
391
00:17:08,146 --> 00:17:11,146
I don't know. Maybe.
We should just think on it.
392
00:17:11,229 --> 00:17:14,146
-[Getafix] Let go of me! Let go of me!
-[gasps]
393
00:17:14,229 --> 00:17:16,771
-Let go of me, you Romans!
-Hold him!
394
00:17:16,854 --> 00:17:18,771
-[grunts]
-Ouch! He bit me!
395
00:17:18,854 --> 00:17:21,271
-Ow! The druid kicked me in the head!
-Come on!
396
00:17:21,354 --> 00:17:22,479
[Dogmatix barks]
397
00:17:23,062 --> 00:17:25,396
-Getafix!
-The Gauls are here!
398
00:17:25,479 --> 00:17:27,437
-Retreat!
-[barking]
399
00:17:27,521 --> 00:17:28,937
[dramatic music plays]
400
00:17:29,604 --> 00:17:31,937
-Whoa, oh!
-I'll get rid of 'em for you.
401
00:17:32,021 --> 00:17:34,021
-Mind out.
-No, Obelix, no!
402
00:17:41,854 --> 00:17:42,812
Oh!
403
00:17:42,896 --> 00:17:44,937
[sombre music plays]
404
00:17:45,021 --> 00:17:46,229
[barking]
405
00:17:47,146 --> 00:17:48,187
[Dogmatix whines]
406
00:17:49,729 --> 00:17:53,937
Seriously, Obelix? Oh, bravo!
Bravo! Good idea. Speechless.
407
00:17:54,021 --> 00:17:55,729
I got rid of those Romans, didn't I?
408
00:17:55,812 --> 00:17:59,021
Yeah, and you flattened our druid
in the process! You're so clumsy!
409
00:17:59,104 --> 00:18:01,562
I'm clumsy? I'm clumsy?!
410
00:18:01,646 --> 00:18:05,729
It's Mr Asterix who dropped
the magic potion and is clumsy! So there!
411
00:18:05,812 --> 00:18:10,229
Oh! Well, we can't all fall into it
like Mr Obelix did when he was little boy!
412
00:18:10,312 --> 00:18:14,229
'Cause Mr Asterix had nothing
to do with that, did he?
413
00:18:14,312 --> 00:18:16,229
That is unrelated, it's completely…
414
00:18:16,312 --> 00:18:17,521
-[Dogmatix whines]
-Huh?
415
00:18:19,146 --> 00:18:21,187
Come. Let's get him out from under there.
416
00:18:21,896 --> 00:18:22,937
[whines]
417
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:26,479
[sighs]
418
00:18:28,562 --> 00:18:29,771
Getafix?
419
00:18:33,646 --> 00:18:35,562
What do you mean mission accomplished?
420
00:18:35,646 --> 00:18:39,521
Well, to cut a long story short,
we got there, looked around,
421
00:18:39,604 --> 00:18:42,479
found a spot, then we hid,
nanani, nananoum…
422
00:18:42,562 --> 00:18:44,396
And then, who showed up?
423
00:18:44,479 --> 00:18:46,146
Only the druid!
424
00:18:46,229 --> 00:18:49,312
And so I shouted, "Capture him!"
425
00:18:49,396 --> 00:18:51,146
Wham, bam, boom!
426
00:18:51,229 --> 00:18:54,396
With a branch, with a stump, and a bam!
I don't mess about.
427
00:18:54,479 --> 00:18:56,437
Ask anyone, they know what I'm like.
428
00:18:56,521 --> 00:18:59,104
Anyway, mission accomplished,
and we left him for dead.
429
00:18:59,187 --> 00:19:02,354
Dead? But I just said
to get him out of the way!
430
00:19:02,437 --> 00:19:04,271
-Who told you…
-I did!
431
00:19:04,354 --> 00:19:05,771
But, uncle, what for?
432
00:19:05,854 --> 00:19:07,771
Did you not listen to Caesar?
433
00:19:07,854 --> 00:19:10,396
I handle logistics,
you take care of the show.
434
00:19:10,479 --> 00:19:12,021
So, I handle the druid.
435
00:19:12,104 --> 00:19:14,312
You focus on event management.
436
00:19:15,312 --> 00:19:16,979
-Well done, Potus.
-Well…
437
00:19:17,062 --> 00:19:20,062
-Huh? That's my Tutus.
-Ah, thank you. [chuckles]
438
00:19:20,146 --> 00:19:21,729
-Good Tutus, huh?
-Well, now…
439
00:19:21,812 --> 00:19:23,312
Tutus to my Furius.
440
00:19:23,396 --> 00:19:25,854
We're a team
and that's just how we are, you know?
441
00:19:25,937 --> 00:19:29,354
Now we have to find
our Gallo-Roman champion.
442
00:19:29,437 --> 00:19:33,062
I might know just the chap.
Strong as an ox and loyal to Rome.
443
00:19:33,146 --> 00:19:34,479
Loyal to Rome?
444
00:19:34,562 --> 00:19:36,771
Yes, sir. He's a diamond.
445
00:19:36,854 --> 00:19:39,146
I want more of those columns!
446
00:19:39,229 --> 00:19:43,104
But mighty Chief Cassius Ceramix,
don't we have enough columns already?
447
00:19:43,187 --> 00:19:44,354
I want more!
448
00:19:44,979 --> 00:19:49,854
We have to be more colonized!
I want this village to become a mini Rome.
449
00:19:49,937 --> 00:19:51,437
A mini Rome, coming up!
450
00:19:51,521 --> 00:19:54,396
And we need to have names
ending in "us", like the Romans!
451
00:19:54,479 --> 00:19:56,896
Names ending in "us".
What a great idea, chief!
452
00:19:56,979 --> 00:19:58,812
We should stay a bit Gallic though.
453
00:19:58,896 --> 00:20:01,146
-No!
-No, I really like the new style.
454
00:20:01,229 --> 00:20:05,271
We are Gallo-Romans,
by Jupiter and Toutatis!
455
00:20:05,354 --> 00:20:09,271
Oh, yeah! From today, Tenmillionclix,
you are Tenmillionviews.
456
00:20:09,354 --> 00:20:12,104
-Oof.
-What about me, chief, what's my new name?
457
00:20:12,187 --> 00:20:14,687
Ah, yours can wait, Sycophantix.
458
00:20:14,771 --> 00:20:15,854
Okay.
459
00:20:17,479 --> 00:20:18,896
[bearers grunt]
460
00:20:18,979 --> 00:20:23,146
[Sycophantix] So we've got a mini Rome,
more columns, names ending in "us".
461
00:20:23,229 --> 00:20:25,562
-[Cassius] And an aqueduct!
-An aqueduct, okay.
462
00:20:25,646 --> 00:20:27,812
They're nice, very Roman.
and for the last time,
463
00:20:27,896 --> 00:20:29,854
cut your braids and your moustache!
464
00:20:29,937 --> 00:20:31,854
But with no braids, I won't be virile.
465
00:20:31,937 --> 00:20:34,604
And no moustache,
there's this great big space here,
466
00:20:34,687 --> 00:20:37,104
between my nose and my mouth… [screams]
467
00:20:37,187 --> 00:20:38,562
Enough of his lip.
468
00:20:38,646 --> 00:20:39,937
[groans]
469
00:20:40,021 --> 00:20:43,229
[bombastic fanfare plays]
470
00:20:43,312 --> 00:20:44,896
Ah! Ave!
471
00:20:44,979 --> 00:20:47,062
Welcome, beloved invaders!
472
00:20:47,146 --> 00:20:48,312
Ave.
473
00:20:48,396 --> 00:20:51,812
Can we also invade your home
so we can talk there, Cassius Ceramix?
474
00:20:51,896 --> 00:20:54,521
Call me Cassius, won't you?
It's less Gallic.
475
00:20:54,604 --> 00:20:56,354
It's an honour. Veni, veni.
476
00:20:57,104 --> 00:20:59,896
This Gaul here is just how I like them.
477
00:21:00,729 --> 00:21:03,146
There isn't much here I'd call Gallic.
478
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:07,479
You should have told me you were coming.
I'd have put on some games.
479
00:21:08,896 --> 00:21:12,812
There. Not as good as Roman wine,
but I like the name.
480
00:21:12,896 --> 00:21:14,062
Chatopetrus.
481
00:21:14,146 --> 00:21:17,687
Cassius Ceramix,
are you familiar with the Big Fight?
482
00:21:17,771 --> 00:21:19,562
A silly Gallic tradition.
483
00:21:19,646 --> 00:21:22,812
-Yeah. Why?
-We'd like you to fight a Gallic chief.
484
00:21:22,896 --> 00:21:26,229
Take over his clan when you claim victory.
Think you can do that?
485
00:21:27,146 --> 00:21:28,396
[chuckles]
486
00:21:28,479 --> 00:21:29,729
Do you doubt me?
487
00:21:29,812 --> 00:21:31,979
Seriously, is that a real question?
488
00:21:32,062 --> 00:21:34,479
I am the best, by Vulcan!
489
00:21:34,562 --> 00:21:35,771
Let me show you.
490
00:21:35,854 --> 00:21:37,062
[bold music plays]
491
00:21:37,146 --> 00:21:38,521
[grunting]
492
00:21:42,021 --> 00:21:43,021
[chicken squawks]
493
00:21:44,104 --> 00:21:45,229
[camera shutter clicks]
494
00:21:47,479 --> 00:21:49,062
[grunting]
495
00:21:51,312 --> 00:21:52,937
-[bird squawks]
-[pottery shatters]
496
00:21:53,021 --> 00:21:54,437
[horse whinnies]
497
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:56,521
-[metal clangs]
-[pottery shatters]
498
00:21:56,604 --> 00:21:57,812
[growls]
499
00:21:57,896 --> 00:21:59,354
[music peaks, stops]
500
00:22:00,062 --> 00:22:02,229
I will crush him like a grape!
501
00:22:02,312 --> 00:22:04,354
Who is this chief? It'll be carnage.
502
00:22:04,437 --> 00:22:05,687
Vitalstatistix.
503
00:22:07,146 --> 00:22:08,771
Vitalstatistix?
504
00:22:08,854 --> 00:22:10,729
But, er, it'll be carnage!
505
00:22:10,812 --> 00:22:12,979
That magic potion gives him
superhuman strength.
506
00:22:13,062 --> 00:22:14,479
Do not panic.
507
00:22:14,562 --> 00:22:17,396
Well, of course, I'll panic!
I'm really worried.
508
00:22:17,479 --> 00:22:19,312
There's no more magic potion.
509
00:22:19,396 --> 00:22:20,979
[suspenseful music plays]
510
00:22:21,062 --> 00:22:22,271
No magic potion?
511
00:22:22,354 --> 00:22:24,604
No druid, no potion, trust me.
512
00:22:24,687 --> 00:22:27,146
You'll make mincemeat of Vitalstatistix.
513
00:22:27,812 --> 00:22:30,521
After, you might even challenge
other chiefs.
514
00:22:30,604 --> 00:22:35,646
And one day, you could rule over them all.
All of the Gallic clans, if you so wish.
515
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:38,854
You'd be a general ruling over Gaul.
516
00:22:39,354 --> 00:22:40,604
Mmm.
517
00:22:41,354 --> 00:22:44,021
General de Gaul.
518
00:22:46,312 --> 00:22:49,479
Ah, the remedy Getafix gave me
cured me, Pidiped.
519
00:22:49,562 --> 00:22:51,687
So come on, we're off to Lutetia.
520
00:22:51,771 --> 00:22:54,312
-One drink, and then we'll go.
-[gasps]
521
00:22:54,979 --> 00:22:57,479
What? We're leaving right away?
522
00:22:57,562 --> 00:22:59,479
[ominous music plays]
523
00:22:59,562 --> 00:23:00,604
[gasps]
524
00:23:07,896 --> 00:23:11,687
I threw the menhir but as menhirs go,
it was a very small one.
525
00:23:11,771 --> 00:23:14,021
-No need to make a big dolmen out of it.
-[gasps]
526
00:23:14,104 --> 00:23:15,562
Shh, shh, shh, he's awake.
527
00:23:15,646 --> 00:23:19,062
See, there you go. I was just saying
that menhirs aren't dangerous.
528
00:23:19,146 --> 00:23:21,896
-Getafix, how are you feeling?
-I feel great.
529
00:23:22,479 --> 00:23:23,562
Thank you, madam.
530
00:23:24,104 --> 00:23:24,937
Madam?
531
00:23:25,521 --> 00:23:27,437
But it's me, Impedimenta.
532
00:23:27,521 --> 00:23:28,937
Enchanté.
533
00:23:30,396 --> 00:23:33,646
Okay, hang on, hang on.
Getafix, do you know me?
534
00:23:34,271 --> 00:23:36,979
It… It is me, Asterix.
535
00:23:37,729 --> 00:23:39,854
[laughs]
536
00:23:39,937 --> 00:23:41,771
What a big nose. [giggles]
537
00:23:41,854 --> 00:23:45,104
By Belenus, our druid Getafix
has lost his memory.
538
00:23:45,187 --> 00:23:46,937
And we're out of magic potion.
539
00:23:47,021 --> 00:23:48,312
Magic potion?
540
00:23:48,396 --> 00:23:50,396
Yes. Do you remember the recipe?
541
00:23:50,896 --> 00:23:51,729
No.
542
00:23:51,812 --> 00:23:52,771
[sighs]
543
00:23:52,854 --> 00:23:54,562
But we can ask him.
544
00:23:54,646 --> 00:23:56,146
Er, ask who?
545
00:23:56,229 --> 00:23:57,312
Mr Beardix.
546
00:23:59,062 --> 00:24:00,937
Hello, Mr Beardix.
547
00:24:01,021 --> 00:24:02,521
Hello!
548
00:24:02,604 --> 00:24:05,271
-How are you feeling, Mr Beardix?
-Hairy good.
549
00:24:05,354 --> 00:24:09,354
Do you know the recipe
for the magic potion, Mr Beardix?
550
00:24:09,437 --> 00:24:10,312
Hmm.
551
00:24:11,271 --> 00:24:12,104
No!
552
00:24:12,187 --> 00:24:16,187
But I do know the recipe
for having a good old laugh!
553
00:24:16,271 --> 00:24:17,771
Ah, tell us then.
554
00:24:17,854 --> 00:24:22,979
Repeat after me.
When I say "beard", you say "ix".
555
00:24:23,479 --> 00:24:24,479
Beard…
556
00:24:25,062 --> 00:24:25,937
Ix.
557
00:24:26,521 --> 00:24:27,521
Beard…
558
00:24:27,604 --> 00:24:30,437
He's crazy. He's completely crazy.
559
00:24:30,521 --> 00:24:32,979
[screaming] Come on! It's easy!
560
00:24:33,062 --> 00:24:34,104
Beard!
561
00:24:34,187 --> 00:24:35,771
By Toutatis, we are doomed.
562
00:24:36,562 --> 00:24:37,854
Ix!
563
00:24:39,312 --> 00:24:41,729
[lively classical theme music plays]
564
00:25:12,312 --> 00:25:14,812
ASTERIX & OBELIX: THE BIG FIGHT
565
00:25:52,604 --> 00:25:55,687
[musical arrangement turns
sweeping and gentle]
566
00:27:32,854 --> 00:27:35,646
[musical arrangement turns suspenseful]
567
00:28:16,437 --> 00:28:18,437
[lively Celtic folk music plays]
568
00:28:18,437 --> 00:28:23,437
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569
00:28:18,437 --> 00:28:28,437
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