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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,008 --> 00:00:03,020 [ static ] 2 00:00:03,022 --> 00:00:05,016 [ country music plays ] 3 00:00:05,018 --> 00:00:07,024 >> ♪ she run off and took our 4 00:00:07,026 --> 00:00:10,027 Only chicken ♪ 5 00:00:10,029 --> 00:00:12,025 ♪ when I broke jail, the house 6 00:00:12,027 --> 00:00:16,010 Was burnt and bare ♪ 7 00:00:16,012 --> 00:00:21,018 [ singing indistinctly ] 8 00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,021 ♪ some days, life just don't 9 00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,021 Seem that fair ♪ 10 00:00:25,023 --> 00:00:27,028 ♪ I don't even care ♪ 11 00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:28,021 >> rusty: my turn. 12 00:00:28,023 --> 00:00:29,015 >> early: hell no. 13 00:00:29,017 --> 00:00:30,017 >> rusty: let me drive that 14 00:00:30,019 --> 00:00:30,028 Thing! 15 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,006 >> early: do not touch the trim! 16 00:00:34,008 --> 00:00:35,024 [ upbeat country music plays ] 17 00:00:35,026 --> 00:00:37,004 >> ♪ but I've been hearing on 18 00:00:37,006 --> 00:00:39,007 The news about this man with the 19 00:00:39,009 --> 00:00:41,018 Rag on his head ♪ 20 00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:43,014 ♪ he's a-hidin' in the desert 21 00:00:43,016 --> 00:00:45,018 'cause the good lord wants him 22 00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:47,021 Dead ♪ 23 00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,003 ♪ and I say ♪ 24 00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,026 ♪ osama bin laden may be 25 00:00:51,028 --> 00:00:52,026 Downtrodden ♪ 26 00:00:52,028 --> 00:00:54,010 ♪ 'cause the boys, they are 27 00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,010 Comin' for you ♪ 28 00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,006 ♪ and you know they gonna get 29 00:00:58,008 --> 00:00:58,026 You ♪ 30 00:00:58,028 --> 00:01:00,017 ♪ I double-darn betcha that 31 00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:04,004 We'll have you by 2002 ♪ 32 00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:08,000 >> dan halen: oh, my god. 33 00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,020 Enhance 17 through 23. 34 00:01:09,022 --> 00:01:10,020 [ beeping ] 35 00:01:10,022 --> 00:01:11,017 Hand clap. 36 00:01:11,019 --> 00:01:12,007 Twirl. 37 00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:13,001 Toe tap. 38 00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:14,011 Double-boot slap. 39 00:01:14,013 --> 00:01:16,006 He's executing every move 40 00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:18,011 Exactly like everyone else like 41 00:01:18,013 --> 00:01:20,000 No one I've ever seen. 42 00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:21,003 He's on fire! 43 00:01:21,005 --> 00:01:22,008 >> ♪ the troops will be 44 00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:24,005 Returnin' with a victory for the 45 00:01:24,007 --> 00:01:26,020 U.S. Of a. ♪ 46 00:01:26,022 --> 00:01:28,025 [ applause ] 47 00:01:28,027 --> 00:01:30,000 >> well, that was another 48 00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,006 Example of the old country 49 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:31,019 Sound. 50 00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:32,017 >> early: heigh-ho. 51 00:01:32,019 --> 00:01:34,000 Did you see that fine-ass little 52 00:01:34,002 --> 00:01:35,008 Gal holding hands with that 53 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:36,016 Dandy man over there? 54 00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:38,003 I want you to send her five 55 00:01:38,005 --> 00:01:39,024 Long island ice teas, and you 56 00:01:39,026 --> 00:01:41,000 Say they's from me. 57 00:01:41,002 --> 00:01:43,014 >> you got any money since five 58 00:01:43,016 --> 00:01:44,008 Minutes ago? 59 00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,023 >> early: I'll tell you what, 60 00:01:45,025 --> 00:01:46,012 Cochise. 61 00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,002 You go ahead and send her five 62 00:01:48,004 --> 00:01:49,020 Tap waters, and you say they's 63 00:01:49,022 --> 00:01:50,008 From me. 64 00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,026 >> we're limiting water to one 65 00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,014 Glass per customer, on account 66 00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:54,011 Of the drought. 67 00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,025 >> dan halen: five glasses. 68 00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,028 Do as the man says. 69 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,014 >> but we got water restri-- 70 00:01:58,016 --> 00:02:00,000 >> dan halen: did I stutter? 71 00:02:00,002 --> 00:02:00,020 >> but -- 72 00:02:00,022 --> 00:02:02,005 >> dan halen: did I stutter?! 73 00:02:02,007 --> 00:02:03,024 >> early: hang on. 74 00:02:03,026 --> 00:02:05,014 Crack this bad boy open and, uh, 75 00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:07,002 Swirl it around with a swizzle. 76 00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:09,027 You know, party favors. 77 00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,013 And don't you judge me! 78 00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:12,029 >> dan halen: I've been 79 00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:14,024 Following your moves, early. 80 00:02:14,026 --> 00:02:16,021 You follow a predetermined set 81 00:02:16,023 --> 00:02:18,020 Of routines in slow motion with 82 00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:20,013 Listless energy and joyless 83 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,009 Precision. 84 00:02:21,011 --> 00:02:23,010 You don't play by their rules 85 00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,029 Because your heart is a 86 00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:25,019 Stallion. 87 00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:26,019 >> early: yeah. 88 00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:28,013 My behind's closed for business, 89 00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,002 If that's what this is about. 90 00:02:30,004 --> 00:02:31,014 >> rusty: [ whispering ] 91 00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:33,007 >> early: I need your money, if 92 00:02:33,009 --> 00:02:34,014 That's what this is about. 93 00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:35,026 >> dan halen: patience, early. 94 00:02:35,028 --> 00:02:37,005 An opportunity will present 95 00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:38,014 Itself in due time. 96 00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,001 >> oh, sorry, gentlemen. 97 00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:42,002 The wet t-shirt contest has been 98 00:02:42,004 --> 00:02:44,002 Canceled due to statewide water 99 00:02:44,004 --> 00:02:44,027 Restrictions. 100 00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:46,005 >> early: ah, damn it! 101 00:02:46,007 --> 00:02:47,010 We had us a ringer! 102 00:02:47,012 --> 00:02:48,028 >> granny: I trained all week 103 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:49,015 For this! 104 00:02:49,017 --> 00:02:51,001 >> folks, we can only do so much 105 00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:52,000 With a humidifier. 106 00:02:52,002 --> 00:02:52,013 Sorry. 107 00:02:52,015 --> 00:02:53,029 >> you're about to see why I'm a 108 00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:55,003 Three-time champion. 109 00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,013 >> granny: hey, big 'un. 110 00:02:56,015 --> 00:02:57,027 Quit hoggin' all that mist. 111 00:02:57,029 --> 00:02:59,000 >> back off, bitch. 112 00:02:59,002 --> 00:03:00,005 [ splash! ] 113 00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:01,014 >> granny: oh. 114 00:03:01,016 --> 00:03:02,018 >> whoo-oo! 115 00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:04,028 Still undefeated. 116 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,024 [ bird squawks ] 117 00:03:06,026 --> 00:03:09,023 >> whee! 118 00:03:09,025 --> 00:03:11,018 >> early: come on, now. 119 00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,024 Let's go. 120 00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,029 [ creaks ] 121 00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:16,002 >> whee. 122 00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:21,027 >> [ hawking ] 123 00:03:21,029 --> 00:03:22,027 [ spits ] 124 00:03:22,029 --> 00:03:27,009 [ sizzles ] 125 00:03:27,011 --> 00:03:28,024 >> whee. 126 00:03:28,026 --> 00:03:30,005 >> early: summer fun. 127 00:03:30,007 --> 00:03:31,016 All right, little boy, let's go. 128 00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:32,027 >> dan halen: can't you just see 129 00:03:32,029 --> 00:03:34,008 The joy on the childrens' faces? 130 00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:34,023 [ thud! ] 131 00:03:34,025 --> 00:03:36,009 No, not -- don't look at that 132 00:03:36,011 --> 00:03:37,003 Child's face. 133 00:03:37,005 --> 00:03:38,022 >> sheriff: yeah, as much as it 134 00:03:38,024 --> 00:03:40,009 Pains me to do this, I'm gonna 135 00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,022 Have to ask you to shut her 136 00:03:41,024 --> 00:03:42,005 Down. 137 00:03:42,007 --> 00:03:43,013 >> dan halen: [ gasps ] 138 00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,014 Is this about the e. Coli thing? 139 00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,016 Look, filling the wave pool with 140 00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,010 Animal urine is a worthwhile 141 00:03:49,012 --> 00:03:50,007 Experiment. 142 00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:52,001 Let's not throw the baby out 143 00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:54,000 With the imported chinese wolf 144 00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:54,017 Piss. 145 00:03:54,019 --> 00:03:56,017 That urine is screened visually 146 00:03:56,019 --> 00:03:58,018 For bacteria before we allow any 147 00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,015 Child to splash about in it. 148 00:04:00,017 --> 00:04:01,026 >> sheriff: and what is that 149 00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:02,024 Stuff over there? 150 00:04:02,026 --> 00:04:04,011 >> dan halen: [ clears throat ] 151 00:04:04,013 --> 00:04:05,022 They're entirely legitimate 152 00:04:05,024 --> 00:04:06,022 Scientific fluids. 153 00:04:06,024 --> 00:04:08,004 May I remind you, sheriff, 154 00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:09,019 Moist and wacky is the largest 155 00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,005 Employer of uneducated trailer 156 00:04:11,007 --> 00:04:12,007 Filth in this entire 157 00:04:12,009 --> 00:04:13,009 God-forgotten region? 158 00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:14,021 >> sheriff: well, until we get 159 00:04:14,023 --> 00:04:16,016 Some more rain, I suggest that I 160 00:04:16,018 --> 00:04:18,011 Probably just look the other way 161 00:04:18,013 --> 00:04:19,017 On this whole deal. 162 00:04:19,019 --> 00:04:21,011 >> dan halen: that's why you're 163 00:04:21,013 --> 00:04:22,014 The man, sheriff. 164 00:04:22,016 --> 00:04:23,016 Punch it in, bro. 165 00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:25,002 But don't -- don't actually 166 00:04:25,004 --> 00:04:27,005 Touch me. 167 00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:31,017 [ frog croaking ] 168 00:04:31,019 --> 00:04:32,024 >> rusty: now, this says we can 169 00:04:32,026 --> 00:04:34,008 Install a flow restrictor on our 170 00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,010 Showerhead and save between 500 171 00:04:36,012 --> 00:04:37,024 And 800 gallons a month. 172 00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,025 >> early: or just dab you some 173 00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,006 Rebel bandit behind your ears. 174 00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:41,022 Smells twice as fine for half 175 00:04:41,024 --> 00:04:44,016 The price. 176 00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:45,016 [ glass clinks ] 177 00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,018 >> rusty: jug line ain't moving, 178 00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,004 Daddy. 179 00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:48,012 >> early: all right, get out and 180 00:04:48,014 --> 00:04:49,009 Push us over that way. 181 00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:50,005 >> rusty: [ grunts ] 182 00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:51,014 >> early: that there cove's a 183 00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:52,020 Hot spot for the largemouth 184 00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:53,005 Tilapia. 185 00:04:53,007 --> 00:05:00,025 >> granny: [ groaning ] 186 00:05:00,027 --> 00:05:02,010 Aah! Aah! 187 00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:03,020 >> rusty: now, remember, granny, 188 00:05:03,022 --> 00:05:05,013 If it's yellow, let it mellow, 189 00:05:05,015 --> 00:05:06,029 But if it's brown, flush it 190 00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:07,020 Down. 191 00:05:07,022 --> 00:05:09,013 >> granny: it was green. 192 00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:11,021 And there's a whole city of tiny 193 00:05:11,023 --> 00:05:13,015 Orange bugs in it. 194 00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:14,028 >> rusty: oh. 195 00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,005 It don't say nothing about that, 196 00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:16,020 Granny. 197 00:05:16,022 --> 00:05:18,000 >> granny: they chased me! 198 00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:19,023 Didn't you hear me screaming? 199 00:05:19,025 --> 00:05:23,002 >> early: get back, woman! 200 00:05:23,004 --> 00:05:24,004 I told you to get some 201 00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:25,009 Penicillin down at the soda 202 00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:25,026 Shop! 203 00:05:25,028 --> 00:05:27,008 Them orange butt mites get in 204 00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:28,021 The damn well water, it's gonna 205 00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,023 Play hell with my 206 00:05:29,025 --> 00:05:31,005 Charlie daniels koi pond! 207 00:05:31,007 --> 00:05:33,007 [ fiddle music plays ] 208 00:05:36,015 --> 00:05:37,021 >> rusty: hey, daddy, this says 209 00:05:37,023 --> 00:05:38,029 We should use condensation from 210 00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:40,003 Our central air-conditioning 211 00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:41,006 Unit to source them luxury 212 00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:41,020 Items. 213 00:05:41,022 --> 00:05:42,025 >> early: I know I just didn't 214 00:05:42,027 --> 00:05:44,002 Hear you call charlie daniels a 215 00:05:44,004 --> 00:05:44,020 Luxury. 216 00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:46,009 >> granny: now, what in the hell 217 00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:47,028 Is this central air-conditioning 218 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,003 You're talking about? 219 00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:50,010 >> early: it's a bunch of bull 220 00:05:50,012 --> 00:05:51,018 Mess made up by them liberals to 221 00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:53,000 Make us buy more magnets! 222 00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:54,025 Conspiracy, I tell you! 223 00:05:54,027 --> 00:05:56,006 Now, you go on in the house and 224 00:05:56,008 --> 00:05:57,010 Hose off the big screen. 225 00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:58,017 The race is about to come on. 226 00:05:58,019 --> 00:06:00,016 [ engine turns over ] 227 00:06:00,018 --> 00:06:01,016 Wake up! Get up! 228 00:06:01,018 --> 00:06:02,018 You're going into town to buy me 229 00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,010 A magnet! 230 00:06:06,024 --> 00:06:08,023 >> rusty: [ slurping ] 231 00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:09,024 >> early: russell, come on, son. 232 00:06:09,026 --> 00:06:11,001 Glitter only, I said. 233 00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,001 I get the water. 234 00:06:12,003 --> 00:06:13,010 The damn water is mine! 235 00:06:13,012 --> 00:06:14,023 You don't like it, complain to 236 00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,010 God! 237 00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:16,005 But guess what. 238 00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,014 He got a deaf ear turned to you, 239 00:06:17,016 --> 00:06:17,028 Boy. 240 00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:18,021 You know why? 241 00:06:18,023 --> 00:06:20,001 'cause there ain't no damn god! 242 00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:21,022 >> with your permission, early, 243 00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:23,006 I'd like to begin. 244 00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,008 >> early: bring it on, 245 00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:26,000 Ding dong. 246 00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:27,002 [ organ music plays ] 247 00:06:27,004 --> 00:06:28,002 >> [ clears throat ] 248 00:06:28,004 --> 00:06:31,006 Lord, we thank you for this 249 00:06:31,008 --> 00:06:33,028 Scorching and seemingly 250 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,012 Endless -- 251 00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:37,008 Ohh! I can't spin this! 252 00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:38,022 I can't even wash the bugs off 253 00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,008 My windshield, and I have to say 254 00:06:40,010 --> 00:06:41,026 A rosary out of guilt every time 255 00:06:41,028 --> 00:06:42,027 I take a shower! 256 00:06:42,029 --> 00:06:44,020 Is it because jane fonda lives 257 00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:45,013 Down here? 258 00:06:45,015 --> 00:06:47,005 She has five vacation homes, 259 00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:47,024 Lord! 260 00:06:47,026 --> 00:06:49,014 They're not all in atlanta! 261 00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:51,026 Oh, you'll make a statue weep a 262 00:06:51,028 --> 00:06:54,010 River of tears in brazil, and we 263 00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:55,010 Get nothing?! 264 00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:57,004 Hell, they were drinking monkey 265 00:06:57,006 --> 00:06:59,000 Blood before we got down there! 266 00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,025 It's go time, lord! 267 00:07:00,027 --> 00:07:04,008 You put up or you shut up! 268 00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:04,028 Amen. 269 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:05,028 >> rusty: damn. 270 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,004 >> that's right, I said it. 271 00:07:07,006 --> 00:07:08,017 >> early: well, hell yeah! Whoo! 272 00:07:08,019 --> 00:07:09,025 You step up, you handle your 273 00:07:09,027 --> 00:07:10,019 Business! Whoo! 274 00:07:10,021 --> 00:07:11,025 >> [ chuckling ] Thank you. 275 00:07:11,027 --> 00:07:13,014 Little tough love there. 276 00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,029 Okay! 277 00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,023 We have a guest today. 278 00:07:16,025 --> 00:07:20,003 Mr. Dan halen is here to speak 279 00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:22,005 To us from his heart about 280 00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:24,023 Commitment to jes-- 281 00:07:24,025 --> 00:07:25,028 >> dan halen: your god is 282 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,012 Clearly punishing you for not 283 00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,017 Listening to me. 284 00:07:28,019 --> 00:07:29,016 Listen to me! 285 00:07:29,018 --> 00:07:31,008 Get wet at the precipitation 286 00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:33,009 Celebration this saturday at the 287 00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:35,001 Lester maddox boiled peanut 288 00:07:35,003 --> 00:07:35,017 Dome. 289 00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:37,002 Scripture tells us that 290 00:07:37,004 --> 00:07:38,025 David allan coe will perform 291 00:07:38,027 --> 00:07:40,010 For 9 american dollars. 292 00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:41,021 >> early: david allan coe?! 293 00:07:41,023 --> 00:07:43,008 Hell yeah! Hell yeah! 294 00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:44,028 >> dan halen: and all your water 295 00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,007 Problems will be solved. 296 00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:46,025 Amen. 297 00:07:46,027 --> 00:07:47,023 >> well... 298 00:07:47,025 --> 00:07:49,001 [ chuckles nervously ] 299 00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:50,007 I don't remember anything in the 300 00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:51,013 Good book about david allan coe. 301 00:07:51,015 --> 00:07:52,016 >> dan halen: bring a poncho, 302 00:07:52,018 --> 00:07:54,002 You brainless sheep! 303 00:07:54,004 --> 00:07:59,004 [ cheers and applause ] 304 00:07:59,006 --> 00:08:01,010 Over there in the loge, next to 305 00:08:01,012 --> 00:08:04,000 The capital one luxury box. 306 00:08:04,002 --> 00:08:05,003 >> what does he look like? 307 00:08:05,005 --> 00:08:06,009 >> dan halen: he's a squid, coe! 308 00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:07,016 Look for something with lots of 309 00:08:07,018 --> 00:08:08,002 Arms. 310 00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:09,002 What do I look like, an 311 00:08:09,004 --> 00:08:09,021 Ichthyologist? 312 00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:11,010 >> I'm just saying, man, I see a 313 00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,015 Few of them up there. 314 00:08:12,017 --> 00:08:14,003 >> dan halen: he's the one with 315 00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:15,021 His mouth open in an expression 316 00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:17,001 Of constant confusion and 317 00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:18,023 Ignorance. 318 00:08:18,025 --> 00:08:19,026 >> maybe you could give me a 319 00:08:19,028 --> 00:08:20,017 Little better clue. 320 00:08:20,019 --> 00:08:21,020 >> dan halen: look for the one 321 00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,007 In the hat. 322 00:08:22,009 --> 00:08:23,010 It probably says something like, 323 00:08:23,012 --> 00:08:25,003 "Guns don't kill people, I do." 324 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,003 >> oh, yeah, okay. 325 00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,014 >> dan halen: focus your ballad 326 00:08:27,016 --> 00:08:29,023 At the squid, coe, like a laser! 327 00:08:29,025 --> 00:08:31,013 >> all right, dougal county, are 328 00:08:31,015 --> 00:08:32,023 You ready to party with a 329 00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:34,009 Long-haired redneck? 330 00:08:34,011 --> 00:08:35,020 >> early: we're gonna have a 331 00:08:35,022 --> 00:08:36,022 Good time tonight! 332 00:08:36,024 --> 00:08:37,024 >> granny: I will lick your 333 00:08:37,026 --> 00:08:38,013 Anus! 334 00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:39,022 What, am I talking too loud for 335 00:08:39,024 --> 00:08:40,015 You, whore?! 336 00:08:40,017 --> 00:08:41,020 >> early: what the hell you 337 00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:42,008 Lookin' at?! 338 00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:43,010 >> rusty: you want some of 339 00:08:43,012 --> 00:08:43,024 This?! 340 00:08:43,026 --> 00:08:45,001 >> we're gonna blow the roof off 341 00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:47,019 Of this damn boiled peanut dome. 342 00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,024 >> rusty: this is a dome? 343 00:08:48,026 --> 00:08:49,025 >> early: retractable. 344 00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:50,027 >> we're gonna kick things off 345 00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,029 With a song from my new album. 346 00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:53,001 >> dan halen: no! Not the new! 347 00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,013 >> I mean, let's kick it off 348 00:08:54,015 --> 00:08:56,000 With a song I was just handed on 349 00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:56,021 This page. 350 00:08:56,023 --> 00:09:00,007 It's called "The oklahochee" -- 351 00:09:00,009 --> 00:09:01,015 "Hachee" -- I -- 352 00:09:01,017 --> 00:09:04,002 [ band plays ] 353 00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:05,025 "Dam jam." 354 00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:09,014 Whatever. 355 00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,007 ♪ I come on friday night 356 00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,016 With a paycheck in my hand ♪ 357 00:09:13,018 --> 00:09:15,017 ♪ I've been sweating overtime 358 00:09:15,019 --> 00:09:17,008 Hours for the man ♪ 359 00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:18,014 ♪ I comb and braid my hair 360 00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:18,029 Back ♪ 361 00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:20,028 ♪ spray on a little tan ♪ 362 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,021 ♪ and then we're gonna party 363 00:09:22,023 --> 00:09:25,016 Down the okaleechee dam ♪ 364 00:09:25,018 --> 00:09:26,016 >> rusty: where you going? 365 00:09:26,018 --> 00:09:27,018 >> early: hell, son, I can't 366 00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,007 Control this. 367 00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:29,012 I was born to line dance! 368 00:09:29,014 --> 00:09:30,012 Hell, you know that! 369 00:09:30,014 --> 00:09:31,017 >> rusty: he do have a gift. 370 00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:32,022 >> early: start handing out the 371 00:09:32,024 --> 00:09:33,018 Panty liners, son! 372 00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:35,021 I'm about to do my thing! 373 00:09:35,023 --> 00:09:37,013 >> ♪ I'm sick and tired of this 374 00:09:37,015 --> 00:09:39,002 Water-usage ban ♪ 375 00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:40,023 ♪ I'm gonna stop it now ♪ 376 00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:42,017 ♪ I got a damn good plan ♪ 377 00:09:42,019 --> 00:09:44,004 ♪ I packed a half a ton of 378 00:09:44,006 --> 00:09:46,025 Fertilizer in a rental van ♪ 379 00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:48,019 ♪ I'm gonna blow the hell out of 380 00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,019 The okaleechee dam ♪ 381 00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:50,024 >> rusty: hey, daddy, are you 382 00:09:50,026 --> 00:09:51,026 Listening to these lyrics? 383 00:09:51,028 --> 00:09:52,026 >> early: I am not. 384 00:09:52,028 --> 00:09:54,002 Drive the van, son. 385 00:09:54,004 --> 00:09:55,011 Follow david allan coe! 386 00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:57,009 >> rig the detonator! 387 00:09:57,011 --> 00:10:01,000 >> [ singing indistinctly ] 388 00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:02,000 ♪ do it, early ♪ 389 00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,000 ♪ do it, early ♪ 390 00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,000 ♪ do it, early ♪ 391 00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:07,007 ♪ blow up the dam ♪ 392 00:10:07,009 --> 00:10:08,015 >> ♪ some of this water 393 00:10:08,017 --> 00:10:10,011 Would have gone to alabam' ♪ 394 00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:12,012 ♪ but me, I'm making sure it all 395 00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:14,011 Ends up on georgia land ♪ 396 00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,029 ♪ and if I get caught, they're 397 00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,022 Gonna put my ass in the can ♪ 398 00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:19,002 ♪ but if I survive this 399 00:10:19,004 --> 00:10:20,019 Overwhelming blast from here I 400 00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:21,014 Stand ♪ 401 00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:23,016 ♪ on the edge of the span 402 00:10:23,018 --> 00:10:26,014 Of the okaleechee dam ♪ 403 00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,021 >> early: step on back, son. 404 00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:28,028 These detonators ain't child's 405 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:29,016 Play. 406 00:10:29,018 --> 00:10:30,020 >> rusty: daddy, you don't have 407 00:10:30,022 --> 00:10:31,008 To do this now. 408 00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,004 >> early: do what? 409 00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:32,029 >> go, go, go! 410 00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:34,003 Get the hell out of here! 411 00:10:34,005 --> 00:10:35,006 [ tires screeching ] 412 00:10:35,008 --> 00:10:36,009 [ beeping ] 413 00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,010 >> early: what happened to the 414 00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,011 Music? 415 00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:49,013 [ wood cracking ] 416 00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,014 >> sheriff: water! 417 00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,017 We made it, guys! 418 00:10:51,019 --> 00:10:52,027 We're gonna live! 419 00:10:52,029 --> 00:10:53,024 Wait, no! 420 00:10:53,026 --> 00:10:56,005 I can't swim! 421 00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:57,027 [ cracking ] 422 00:10:57,029 --> 00:10:59,009 >> help! 423 00:10:59,011 --> 00:11:02,017 [ indistinct shouting ] 424 00:11:02,019 --> 00:11:03,023 >> dan halen: look at these 425 00:11:03,025 --> 00:11:05,016 Whores and philistines. 426 00:11:05,018 --> 00:11:06,022 That's right! 427 00:11:06,024 --> 00:11:07,023 Lap it up! 428 00:11:07,025 --> 00:11:08,028 >> are you sure that dam was 429 00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:09,018 Built by al-qaeda? 430 00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:10,018 >> dan halen: I'm not. 431 00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,019 >> because they don't usually 432 00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:12,004 Come here. 433 00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,004 >> dan halen: look, you're a 434 00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,002 Great american, david allan. 435 00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:15,022 Now play for my amusement, 436 00:11:15,024 --> 00:11:18,016 Country bard! 437 00:11:18,018 --> 00:11:19,024 Snap to it, bumpkin! 438 00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:21,018 I have you till 6:00. 439 00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,003 [ "The okaleechee dam jam" 440 00:11:23,005 --> 00:11:26,011 Continues ] 441 00:11:26,013 --> 00:11:30,001 >> [ singing indistinctly ] 442 00:11:30,003 --> 00:11:31,001 ♪ do it, early ♪ 443 00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:32,001 ♪ do it, early ♪ 444 00:11:32,003 --> 00:11:33,001 ♪ do it, early ♪ 445 00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:35,003 ♪ blow up the dam ♪ 446 00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:44,014 >> rig that son of a bitch! 27794

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