Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,008 --> 00:00:03,020
[ static ]
2
00:00:03,022 --> 00:00:05,016
[ country music plays ]
3
00:00:05,018 --> 00:00:07,024
>> ♪ she run off and took our
4
00:00:07,026 --> 00:00:10,027
Only chicken ♪
5
00:00:10,029 --> 00:00:12,025
♪ when I broke jail, the house
6
00:00:12,027 --> 00:00:16,010
Was burnt and bare ♪
7
00:00:16,012 --> 00:00:21,018
[ singing indistinctly ]
8
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:23,021
♪ some days, life just don't
9
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,021
Seem that fair ♪
10
00:00:25,023 --> 00:00:27,028
♪ I don't even care ♪
11
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:28,021
>> rusty: my turn.
12
00:00:28,023 --> 00:00:29,015
>> early: hell no.
13
00:00:29,017 --> 00:00:30,017
>> rusty: let me drive that
14
00:00:30,019 --> 00:00:30,028
Thing!
15
00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,006
>> early: do not touch the trim!
16
00:00:34,008 --> 00:00:35,024
[ upbeat country music plays ]
17
00:00:35,026 --> 00:00:37,004
>> ♪ but I've been hearing on
18
00:00:37,006 --> 00:00:39,007
The news about this man with the
19
00:00:39,009 --> 00:00:41,018
Rag on his head ♪
20
00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:43,014
♪ he's a-hidin' in the desert
21
00:00:43,016 --> 00:00:45,018
'cause the good lord wants him
22
00:00:45,020 --> 00:00:47,021
Dead ♪
23
00:00:47,023 --> 00:00:49,003
♪ and I say ♪
24
00:00:49,005 --> 00:00:51,026
♪ osama bin laden may be
25
00:00:51,028 --> 00:00:52,026
Downtrodden ♪
26
00:00:52,028 --> 00:00:54,010
♪ 'cause the boys, they are
27
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:56,010
Comin' for you ♪
28
00:00:56,012 --> 00:00:58,006
♪ and you know they gonna get
29
00:00:58,008 --> 00:00:58,026
You ♪
30
00:00:58,028 --> 00:01:00,017
♪ I double-darn betcha that
31
00:01:00,019 --> 00:01:04,004
We'll have you by 2002 ♪
32
00:01:06,005 --> 00:01:08,000
>> dan halen: oh, my god.
33
00:01:08,002 --> 00:01:09,020
Enhance 17 through 23.
34
00:01:09,022 --> 00:01:10,020
[ beeping ]
35
00:01:10,022 --> 00:01:11,017
Hand clap.
36
00:01:11,019 --> 00:01:12,007
Twirl.
37
00:01:12,009 --> 00:01:13,001
Toe tap.
38
00:01:13,003 --> 00:01:14,011
Double-boot slap.
39
00:01:14,013 --> 00:01:16,006
He's executing every move
40
00:01:16,008 --> 00:01:18,011
Exactly like everyone else like
41
00:01:18,013 --> 00:01:20,000
No one I've ever seen.
42
00:01:20,002 --> 00:01:21,003
He's on fire!
43
00:01:21,005 --> 00:01:22,008
>> ♪ the troops will be
44
00:01:22,010 --> 00:01:24,005
Returnin' with a victory for the
45
00:01:24,007 --> 00:01:26,020
U.S. Of a. ♪
46
00:01:26,022 --> 00:01:28,025
[ applause ]
47
00:01:28,027 --> 00:01:30,000
>> well, that was another
48
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,006
Example of the old country
49
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:31,019
Sound.
50
00:01:31,021 --> 00:01:32,017
>> early: heigh-ho.
51
00:01:32,019 --> 00:01:34,000
Did you see that fine-ass little
52
00:01:34,002 --> 00:01:35,008
Gal holding hands with that
53
00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:36,016
Dandy man over there?
54
00:01:36,018 --> 00:01:38,003
I want you to send her five
55
00:01:38,005 --> 00:01:39,024
Long island ice teas, and you
56
00:01:39,026 --> 00:01:41,000
Say they's from me.
57
00:01:41,002 --> 00:01:43,014
>> you got any money since five
58
00:01:43,016 --> 00:01:44,008
Minutes ago?
59
00:01:44,010 --> 00:01:45,023
>> early: I'll tell you what,
60
00:01:45,025 --> 00:01:46,012
Cochise.
61
00:01:46,014 --> 00:01:48,002
You go ahead and send her five
62
00:01:48,004 --> 00:01:49,020
Tap waters, and you say they's
63
00:01:49,022 --> 00:01:50,008
From me.
64
00:01:50,010 --> 00:01:51,026
>> we're limiting water to one
65
00:01:51,028 --> 00:01:53,014
Glass per customer, on account
66
00:01:53,016 --> 00:01:54,011
Of the drought.
67
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,025
>> dan halen: five glasses.
68
00:01:55,027 --> 00:01:56,028
Do as the man says.
69
00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,014
>> but we got water restri--
70
00:01:58,016 --> 00:02:00,000
>> dan halen: did I stutter?
71
00:02:00,002 --> 00:02:00,020
>> but --
72
00:02:00,022 --> 00:02:02,005
>> dan halen: did I stutter?!
73
00:02:02,007 --> 00:02:03,024
>> early: hang on.
74
00:02:03,026 --> 00:02:05,014
Crack this bad boy open and, uh,
75
00:02:05,016 --> 00:02:07,002
Swirl it around with a swizzle.
76
00:02:07,004 --> 00:02:09,027
You know, party favors.
77
00:02:09,029 --> 00:02:11,013
And don't you judge me!
78
00:02:11,015 --> 00:02:12,029
>> dan halen: I've been
79
00:02:13,001 --> 00:02:14,024
Following your moves, early.
80
00:02:14,026 --> 00:02:16,021
You follow a predetermined set
81
00:02:16,023 --> 00:02:18,020
Of routines in slow motion with
82
00:02:18,022 --> 00:02:20,013
Listless energy and joyless
83
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,009
Precision.
84
00:02:21,011 --> 00:02:23,010
You don't play by their rules
85
00:02:23,012 --> 00:02:24,029
Because your heart is a
86
00:02:25,001 --> 00:02:25,019
Stallion.
87
00:02:25,021 --> 00:02:26,019
>> early: yeah.
88
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:28,013
My behind's closed for business,
89
00:02:28,015 --> 00:02:30,002
If that's what this is about.
90
00:02:30,004 --> 00:02:31,014
>> rusty: [ whispering ]
91
00:02:31,016 --> 00:02:33,007
>> early: I need your money, if
92
00:02:33,009 --> 00:02:34,014
That's what this is about.
93
00:02:34,016 --> 00:02:35,026
>> dan halen: patience, early.
94
00:02:35,028 --> 00:02:37,005
An opportunity will present
95
00:02:37,007 --> 00:02:38,014
Itself in due time.
96
00:02:38,016 --> 00:02:40,001
>> oh, sorry, gentlemen.
97
00:02:40,003 --> 00:02:42,002
The wet t-shirt contest has been
98
00:02:42,004 --> 00:02:44,002
Canceled due to statewide water
99
00:02:44,004 --> 00:02:44,027
Restrictions.
100
00:02:44,029 --> 00:02:46,005
>> early: ah, damn it!
101
00:02:46,007 --> 00:02:47,010
We had us a ringer!
102
00:02:47,012 --> 00:02:48,028
>> granny: I trained all week
103
00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:49,015
For this!
104
00:02:49,017 --> 00:02:51,001
>> folks, we can only do so much
105
00:02:51,003 --> 00:02:52,000
With a humidifier.
106
00:02:52,002 --> 00:02:52,013
Sorry.
107
00:02:52,015 --> 00:02:53,029
>> you're about to see why I'm a
108
00:02:54,001 --> 00:02:55,003
Three-time champion.
109
00:02:55,005 --> 00:02:56,013
>> granny: hey, big 'un.
110
00:02:56,015 --> 00:02:57,027
Quit hoggin' all that mist.
111
00:02:57,029 --> 00:02:59,000
>> back off, bitch.
112
00:02:59,002 --> 00:03:00,005
[ splash! ]
113
00:03:00,007 --> 00:03:01,014
>> granny: oh.
114
00:03:01,016 --> 00:03:02,018
>> whoo-oo!
115
00:03:02,020 --> 00:03:04,028
Still undefeated.
116
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,024
[ bird squawks ]
117
00:03:06,026 --> 00:03:09,023
>> whee!
118
00:03:09,025 --> 00:03:11,018
>> early: come on, now.
119
00:03:11,020 --> 00:03:12,024
Let's go.
120
00:03:12,026 --> 00:03:13,029
[ creaks ]
121
00:03:14,001 --> 00:03:16,002
>> whee.
122
00:03:16,004 --> 00:03:21,027
>> [ hawking ]
123
00:03:21,029 --> 00:03:22,027
[ spits ]
124
00:03:22,029 --> 00:03:27,009
[ sizzles ]
125
00:03:27,011 --> 00:03:28,024
>> whee.
126
00:03:28,026 --> 00:03:30,005
>> early: summer fun.
127
00:03:30,007 --> 00:03:31,016
All right, little boy, let's go.
128
00:03:31,018 --> 00:03:32,027
>> dan halen: can't you just see
129
00:03:32,029 --> 00:03:34,008
The joy on the childrens' faces?
130
00:03:34,010 --> 00:03:34,023
[ thud! ]
131
00:03:34,025 --> 00:03:36,009
No, not -- don't look at that
132
00:03:36,011 --> 00:03:37,003
Child's face.
133
00:03:37,005 --> 00:03:38,022
>> sheriff: yeah, as much as it
134
00:03:38,024 --> 00:03:40,009
Pains me to do this, I'm gonna
135
00:03:40,011 --> 00:03:41,022
Have to ask you to shut her
136
00:03:41,024 --> 00:03:42,005
Down.
137
00:03:42,007 --> 00:03:43,013
>> dan halen: [ gasps ]
138
00:03:43,015 --> 00:03:45,014
Is this about the e. Coli thing?
139
00:03:45,016 --> 00:03:47,016
Look, filling the wave pool with
140
00:03:47,018 --> 00:03:49,010
Animal urine is a worthwhile
141
00:03:49,012 --> 00:03:50,007
Experiment.
142
00:03:50,009 --> 00:03:52,001
Let's not throw the baby out
143
00:03:52,003 --> 00:03:54,000
With the imported chinese wolf
144
00:03:54,002 --> 00:03:54,017
Piss.
145
00:03:54,019 --> 00:03:56,017
That urine is screened visually
146
00:03:56,019 --> 00:03:58,018
For bacteria before we allow any
147
00:03:58,020 --> 00:04:00,015
Child to splash about in it.
148
00:04:00,017 --> 00:04:01,026
>> sheriff: and what is that
149
00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:02,024
Stuff over there?
150
00:04:02,026 --> 00:04:04,011
>> dan halen: [ clears throat ]
151
00:04:04,013 --> 00:04:05,022
They're entirely legitimate
152
00:04:05,024 --> 00:04:06,022
Scientific fluids.
153
00:04:06,024 --> 00:04:08,004
May I remind you, sheriff,
154
00:04:08,006 --> 00:04:09,019
Moist and wacky is the largest
155
00:04:09,021 --> 00:04:11,005
Employer of uneducated trailer
156
00:04:11,007 --> 00:04:12,007
Filth in this entire
157
00:04:12,009 --> 00:04:13,009
God-forgotten region?
158
00:04:13,011 --> 00:04:14,021
>> sheriff: well, until we get
159
00:04:14,023 --> 00:04:16,016
Some more rain, I suggest that I
160
00:04:16,018 --> 00:04:18,011
Probably just look the other way
161
00:04:18,013 --> 00:04:19,017
On this whole deal.
162
00:04:19,019 --> 00:04:21,011
>> dan halen: that's why you're
163
00:04:21,013 --> 00:04:22,014
The man, sheriff.
164
00:04:22,016 --> 00:04:23,016
Punch it in, bro.
165
00:04:23,018 --> 00:04:25,002
But don't -- don't actually
166
00:04:25,004 --> 00:04:27,005
Touch me.
167
00:04:27,007 --> 00:04:31,017
[ frog croaking ]
168
00:04:31,019 --> 00:04:32,024
>> rusty: now, this says we can
169
00:04:32,026 --> 00:04:34,008
Install a flow restrictor on our
170
00:04:34,010 --> 00:04:36,010
Showerhead and save between 500
171
00:04:36,012 --> 00:04:37,024
And 800 gallons a month.
172
00:04:37,026 --> 00:04:38,025
>> early: or just dab you some
173
00:04:38,027 --> 00:04:40,006
Rebel bandit behind your ears.
174
00:04:40,008 --> 00:04:41,022
Smells twice as fine for half
175
00:04:41,024 --> 00:04:44,016
The price.
176
00:04:44,018 --> 00:04:45,016
[ glass clinks ]
177
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:46,018
>> rusty: jug line ain't moving,
178
00:04:46,020 --> 00:04:47,004
Daddy.
179
00:04:47,006 --> 00:04:48,012
>> early: all right, get out and
180
00:04:48,014 --> 00:04:49,009
Push us over that way.
181
00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:50,005
>> rusty: [ grunts ]
182
00:04:50,007 --> 00:04:51,014
>> early: that there cove's a
183
00:04:51,016 --> 00:04:52,020
Hot spot for the largemouth
184
00:04:52,022 --> 00:04:53,005
Tilapia.
185
00:04:53,007 --> 00:05:00,025
>> granny: [ groaning ]
186
00:05:00,027 --> 00:05:02,010
Aah! Aah!
187
00:05:02,012 --> 00:05:03,020
>> rusty: now, remember, granny,
188
00:05:03,022 --> 00:05:05,013
If it's yellow, let it mellow,
189
00:05:05,015 --> 00:05:06,029
But if it's brown, flush it
190
00:05:07,001 --> 00:05:07,020
Down.
191
00:05:07,022 --> 00:05:09,013
>> granny: it was green.
192
00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:11,021
And there's a whole city of tiny
193
00:05:11,023 --> 00:05:13,015
Orange bugs in it.
194
00:05:13,017 --> 00:05:14,028
>> rusty: oh.
195
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,005
It don't say nothing about that,
196
00:05:16,007 --> 00:05:16,020
Granny.
197
00:05:16,022 --> 00:05:18,000
>> granny: they chased me!
198
00:05:18,002 --> 00:05:19,023
Didn't you hear me screaming?
199
00:05:19,025 --> 00:05:23,002
>> early: get back, woman!
200
00:05:23,004 --> 00:05:24,004
I told you to get some
201
00:05:24,006 --> 00:05:25,009
Penicillin down at the soda
202
00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:25,026
Shop!
203
00:05:25,028 --> 00:05:27,008
Them orange butt mites get in
204
00:05:27,010 --> 00:05:28,021
The damn well water, it's gonna
205
00:05:28,023 --> 00:05:29,023
Play hell with my
206
00:05:29,025 --> 00:05:31,005
Charlie daniels koi pond!
207
00:05:31,007 --> 00:05:33,007
[ fiddle music plays ]
208
00:05:36,015 --> 00:05:37,021
>> rusty: hey, daddy, this says
209
00:05:37,023 --> 00:05:38,029
We should use condensation from
210
00:05:39,001 --> 00:05:40,003
Our central air-conditioning
211
00:05:40,005 --> 00:05:41,006
Unit to source them luxury
212
00:05:41,008 --> 00:05:41,020
Items.
213
00:05:41,022 --> 00:05:42,025
>> early: I know I just didn't
214
00:05:42,027 --> 00:05:44,002
Hear you call charlie daniels a
215
00:05:44,004 --> 00:05:44,020
Luxury.
216
00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:46,009
>> granny: now, what in the hell
217
00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:47,028
Is this central air-conditioning
218
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,003
You're talking about?
219
00:05:49,005 --> 00:05:50,010
>> early: it's a bunch of bull
220
00:05:50,012 --> 00:05:51,018
Mess made up by them liberals to
221
00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:53,000
Make us buy more magnets!
222
00:05:53,002 --> 00:05:54,025
Conspiracy, I tell you!
223
00:05:54,027 --> 00:05:56,006
Now, you go on in the house and
224
00:05:56,008 --> 00:05:57,010
Hose off the big screen.
225
00:05:57,012 --> 00:05:58,017
The race is about to come on.
226
00:05:58,019 --> 00:06:00,016
[ engine turns over ]
227
00:06:00,018 --> 00:06:01,016
Wake up! Get up!
228
00:06:01,018 --> 00:06:02,018
You're going into town to buy me
229
00:06:02,020 --> 00:06:04,010
A magnet!
230
00:06:06,024 --> 00:06:08,023
>> rusty: [ slurping ]
231
00:06:08,025 --> 00:06:09,024
>> early: russell, come on, son.
232
00:06:09,026 --> 00:06:11,001
Glitter only, I said.
233
00:06:11,003 --> 00:06:12,001
I get the water.
234
00:06:12,003 --> 00:06:13,010
The damn water is mine!
235
00:06:13,012 --> 00:06:14,023
You don't like it, complain to
236
00:06:14,025 --> 00:06:15,010
God!
237
00:06:15,012 --> 00:06:16,005
But guess what.
238
00:06:16,007 --> 00:06:17,014
He got a deaf ear turned to you,
239
00:06:17,016 --> 00:06:17,028
Boy.
240
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:18,021
You know why?
241
00:06:18,023 --> 00:06:20,001
'cause there ain't no damn god!
242
00:06:20,003 --> 00:06:21,022
>> with your permission, early,
243
00:06:21,024 --> 00:06:23,006
I'd like to begin.
244
00:06:23,008 --> 00:06:24,008
>> early: bring it on,
245
00:06:24,010 --> 00:06:26,000
Ding dong.
246
00:06:26,002 --> 00:06:27,002
[ organ music plays ]
247
00:06:27,004 --> 00:06:28,002
>> [ clears throat ]
248
00:06:28,004 --> 00:06:31,006
Lord, we thank you for this
249
00:06:31,008 --> 00:06:33,028
Scorching and seemingly
250
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,012
Endless --
251
00:06:35,014 --> 00:06:37,008
Ohh! I can't spin this!
252
00:06:37,010 --> 00:06:38,022
I can't even wash the bugs off
253
00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:40,008
My windshield, and I have to say
254
00:06:40,010 --> 00:06:41,026
A rosary out of guilt every time
255
00:06:41,028 --> 00:06:42,027
I take a shower!
256
00:06:42,029 --> 00:06:44,020
Is it because jane fonda lives
257
00:06:44,022 --> 00:06:45,013
Down here?
258
00:06:45,015 --> 00:06:47,005
She has five vacation homes,
259
00:06:47,007 --> 00:06:47,024
Lord!
260
00:06:47,026 --> 00:06:49,014
They're not all in atlanta!
261
00:06:49,016 --> 00:06:51,026
Oh, you'll make a statue weep a
262
00:06:51,028 --> 00:06:54,010
River of tears in brazil, and we
263
00:06:54,012 --> 00:06:55,010
Get nothing?!
264
00:06:55,012 --> 00:06:57,004
Hell, they were drinking monkey
265
00:06:57,006 --> 00:06:59,000
Blood before we got down there!
266
00:06:59,002 --> 00:07:00,025
It's go time, lord!
267
00:07:00,027 --> 00:07:04,008
You put up or you shut up!
268
00:07:04,010 --> 00:07:04,028
Amen.
269
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:05,028
>> rusty: damn.
270
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,004
>> that's right, I said it.
271
00:07:07,006 --> 00:07:08,017
>> early: well, hell yeah! Whoo!
272
00:07:08,019 --> 00:07:09,025
You step up, you handle your
273
00:07:09,027 --> 00:07:10,019
Business! Whoo!
274
00:07:10,021 --> 00:07:11,025
>> [ chuckling ] Thank you.
275
00:07:11,027 --> 00:07:13,014
Little tough love there.
276
00:07:13,016 --> 00:07:14,029
Okay!
277
00:07:15,001 --> 00:07:16,023
We have a guest today.
278
00:07:16,025 --> 00:07:20,003
Mr. Dan halen is here to speak
279
00:07:20,005 --> 00:07:22,005
To us from his heart about
280
00:07:22,007 --> 00:07:24,023
Commitment to jes--
281
00:07:24,025 --> 00:07:25,028
>> dan halen: your god is
282
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,012
Clearly punishing you for not
283
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,017
Listening to me.
284
00:07:28,019 --> 00:07:29,016
Listen to me!
285
00:07:29,018 --> 00:07:31,008
Get wet at the precipitation
286
00:07:31,010 --> 00:07:33,009
Celebration this saturday at the
287
00:07:33,011 --> 00:07:35,001
Lester maddox boiled peanut
288
00:07:35,003 --> 00:07:35,017
Dome.
289
00:07:35,019 --> 00:07:37,002
Scripture tells us that
290
00:07:37,004 --> 00:07:38,025
David allan coe will perform
291
00:07:38,027 --> 00:07:40,010
For 9 american dollars.
292
00:07:40,012 --> 00:07:41,021
>> early: david allan coe?!
293
00:07:41,023 --> 00:07:43,008
Hell yeah! Hell yeah!
294
00:07:43,010 --> 00:07:44,028
>> dan halen: and all your water
295
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,007
Problems will be solved.
296
00:07:46,009 --> 00:07:46,025
Amen.
297
00:07:46,027 --> 00:07:47,023
>> well...
298
00:07:47,025 --> 00:07:49,001
[ chuckles nervously ]
299
00:07:49,003 --> 00:07:50,007
I don't remember anything in the
300
00:07:50,009 --> 00:07:51,013
Good book about david allan coe.
301
00:07:51,015 --> 00:07:52,016
>> dan halen: bring a poncho,
302
00:07:52,018 --> 00:07:54,002
You brainless sheep!
303
00:07:54,004 --> 00:07:59,004
[ cheers and applause ]
304
00:07:59,006 --> 00:08:01,010
Over there in the loge, next to
305
00:08:01,012 --> 00:08:04,000
The capital one luxury box.
306
00:08:04,002 --> 00:08:05,003
>> what does he look like?
307
00:08:05,005 --> 00:08:06,009
>> dan halen: he's a squid, coe!
308
00:08:06,011 --> 00:08:07,016
Look for something with lots of
309
00:08:07,018 --> 00:08:08,002
Arms.
310
00:08:08,004 --> 00:08:09,002
What do I look like, an
311
00:08:09,004 --> 00:08:09,021
Ichthyologist?
312
00:08:09,023 --> 00:08:11,010
>> I'm just saying, man, I see a
313
00:08:11,012 --> 00:08:12,015
Few of them up there.
314
00:08:12,017 --> 00:08:14,003
>> dan halen: he's the one with
315
00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:15,021
His mouth open in an expression
316
00:08:15,023 --> 00:08:17,001
Of constant confusion and
317
00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:18,023
Ignorance.
318
00:08:18,025 --> 00:08:19,026
>> maybe you could give me a
319
00:08:19,028 --> 00:08:20,017
Little better clue.
320
00:08:20,019 --> 00:08:21,020
>> dan halen: look for the one
321
00:08:21,022 --> 00:08:22,007
In the hat.
322
00:08:22,009 --> 00:08:23,010
It probably says something like,
323
00:08:23,012 --> 00:08:25,003
"Guns don't kill people, I do."
324
00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,003
>> oh, yeah, okay.
325
00:08:26,005 --> 00:08:27,014
>> dan halen: focus your ballad
326
00:08:27,016 --> 00:08:29,023
At the squid, coe, like a laser!
327
00:08:29,025 --> 00:08:31,013
>> all right, dougal county, are
328
00:08:31,015 --> 00:08:32,023
You ready to party with a
329
00:08:32,025 --> 00:08:34,009
Long-haired redneck?
330
00:08:34,011 --> 00:08:35,020
>> early: we're gonna have a
331
00:08:35,022 --> 00:08:36,022
Good time tonight!
332
00:08:36,024 --> 00:08:37,024
>> granny: I will lick your
333
00:08:37,026 --> 00:08:38,013
Anus!
334
00:08:38,015 --> 00:08:39,022
What, am I talking too loud for
335
00:08:39,024 --> 00:08:40,015
You, whore?!
336
00:08:40,017 --> 00:08:41,020
>> early: what the hell you
337
00:08:41,022 --> 00:08:42,008
Lookin' at?!
338
00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:43,010
>> rusty: you want some of
339
00:08:43,012 --> 00:08:43,024
This?!
340
00:08:43,026 --> 00:08:45,001
>> we're gonna blow the roof off
341
00:08:45,003 --> 00:08:47,019
Of this damn boiled peanut dome.
342
00:08:47,021 --> 00:08:48,024
>> rusty: this is a dome?
343
00:08:48,026 --> 00:08:49,025
>> early: retractable.
344
00:08:49,027 --> 00:08:50,027
>> we're gonna kick things off
345
00:08:50,029 --> 00:08:51,029
With a song from my new album.
346
00:08:52,001 --> 00:08:53,001
>> dan halen: no! Not the new!
347
00:08:53,003 --> 00:08:54,013
>> I mean, let's kick it off
348
00:08:54,015 --> 00:08:56,000
With a song I was just handed on
349
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:56,021
This page.
350
00:08:56,023 --> 00:09:00,007
It's called "The oklahochee" --
351
00:09:00,009 --> 00:09:01,015
"Hachee" -- I --
352
00:09:01,017 --> 00:09:04,002
[ band plays ]
353
00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:05,025
"Dam jam."
354
00:09:05,027 --> 00:09:09,014
Whatever.
355
00:09:09,016 --> 00:09:11,007
♪ I come on friday night
356
00:09:11,009 --> 00:09:13,016
With a paycheck in my hand ♪
357
00:09:13,018 --> 00:09:15,017
♪ I've been sweating overtime
358
00:09:15,019 --> 00:09:17,008
Hours for the man ♪
359
00:09:17,010 --> 00:09:18,014
♪ I comb and braid my hair
360
00:09:18,016 --> 00:09:18,029
Back ♪
361
00:09:19,001 --> 00:09:20,028
♪ spray on a little tan ♪
362
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,021
♪ and then we're gonna party
363
00:09:22,023 --> 00:09:25,016
Down the okaleechee dam ♪
364
00:09:25,018 --> 00:09:26,016
>> rusty: where you going?
365
00:09:26,018 --> 00:09:27,018
>> early: hell, son, I can't
366
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,007
Control this.
367
00:09:28,009 --> 00:09:29,012
I was born to line dance!
368
00:09:29,014 --> 00:09:30,012
Hell, you know that!
369
00:09:30,014 --> 00:09:31,017
>> rusty: he do have a gift.
370
00:09:31,019 --> 00:09:32,022
>> early: start handing out the
371
00:09:32,024 --> 00:09:33,018
Panty liners, son!
372
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:35,021
I'm about to do my thing!
373
00:09:35,023 --> 00:09:37,013
>> ♪ I'm sick and tired of this
374
00:09:37,015 --> 00:09:39,002
Water-usage ban ♪
375
00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:40,023
♪ I'm gonna stop it now ♪
376
00:09:40,025 --> 00:09:42,017
♪ I got a damn good plan ♪
377
00:09:42,019 --> 00:09:44,004
♪ I packed a half a ton of
378
00:09:44,006 --> 00:09:46,025
Fertilizer in a rental van ♪
379
00:09:46,027 --> 00:09:48,019
♪ I'm gonna blow the hell out of
380
00:09:48,021 --> 00:09:49,019
The okaleechee dam ♪
381
00:09:49,021 --> 00:09:50,024
>> rusty: hey, daddy, are you
382
00:09:50,026 --> 00:09:51,026
Listening to these lyrics?
383
00:09:51,028 --> 00:09:52,026
>> early: I am not.
384
00:09:52,028 --> 00:09:54,002
Drive the van, son.
385
00:09:54,004 --> 00:09:55,011
Follow david allan coe!
386
00:09:55,013 --> 00:09:57,009
>> rig the detonator!
387
00:09:57,011 --> 00:10:01,000
>> [ singing indistinctly ]
388
00:10:01,002 --> 00:10:02,000
♪ do it, early ♪
389
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:03,000
♪ do it, early ♪
390
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:04,000
♪ do it, early ♪
391
00:10:04,002 --> 00:10:07,007
♪ blow up the dam ♪
392
00:10:07,009 --> 00:10:08,015
>> ♪ some of this water
393
00:10:08,017 --> 00:10:10,011
Would have gone to alabam' ♪
394
00:10:10,013 --> 00:10:12,012
♪ but me, I'm making sure it all
395
00:10:12,014 --> 00:10:14,011
Ends up on georgia land ♪
396
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,029
♪ and if I get caught, they're
397
00:10:16,001 --> 00:10:17,022
Gonna put my ass in the can ♪
398
00:10:17,024 --> 00:10:19,002
♪ but if I survive this
399
00:10:19,004 --> 00:10:20,019
Overwhelming blast from here I
400
00:10:20,021 --> 00:10:21,014
Stand ♪
401
00:10:21,016 --> 00:10:23,016
♪ on the edge of the span
402
00:10:23,018 --> 00:10:26,014
Of the okaleechee dam ♪
403
00:10:26,016 --> 00:10:27,021
>> early: step on back, son.
404
00:10:27,023 --> 00:10:28,028
These detonators ain't child's
405
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:29,016
Play.
406
00:10:29,018 --> 00:10:30,020
>> rusty: daddy, you don't have
407
00:10:30,022 --> 00:10:31,008
To do this now.
408
00:10:31,010 --> 00:10:32,004
>> early: do what?
409
00:10:32,006 --> 00:10:32,029
>> go, go, go!
410
00:10:33,001 --> 00:10:34,003
Get the hell out of here!
411
00:10:34,005 --> 00:10:35,006
[ tires screeching ]
412
00:10:35,008 --> 00:10:36,009
[ beeping ]
413
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:37,010
>> early: what happened to the
414
00:10:37,012 --> 00:10:39,011
Music?
415
00:10:45,001 --> 00:10:49,013
[ wood cracking ]
416
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,014
>> sheriff: water!
417
00:10:50,016 --> 00:10:51,017
We made it, guys!
418
00:10:51,019 --> 00:10:52,027
We're gonna live!
419
00:10:52,029 --> 00:10:53,024
Wait, no!
420
00:10:53,026 --> 00:10:56,005
I can't swim!
421
00:10:56,007 --> 00:10:57,027
[ cracking ]
422
00:10:57,029 --> 00:10:59,009
>> help!
423
00:10:59,011 --> 00:11:02,017
[ indistinct shouting ]
424
00:11:02,019 --> 00:11:03,023
>> dan halen: look at these
425
00:11:03,025 --> 00:11:05,016
Whores and philistines.
426
00:11:05,018 --> 00:11:06,022
That's right!
427
00:11:06,024 --> 00:11:07,023
Lap it up!
428
00:11:07,025 --> 00:11:08,028
>> are you sure that dam was
429
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:09,018
Built by al-qaeda?
430
00:11:09,020 --> 00:11:10,018
>> dan halen: I'm not.
431
00:11:10,020 --> 00:11:11,019
>> because they don't usually
432
00:11:11,021 --> 00:11:12,004
Come here.
433
00:11:12,006 --> 00:11:13,004
>> dan halen: look, you're a
434
00:11:13,006 --> 00:11:14,002
Great american, david allan.
435
00:11:14,004 --> 00:11:15,022
Now play for my amusement,
436
00:11:15,024 --> 00:11:18,016
Country bard!
437
00:11:18,018 --> 00:11:19,024
Snap to it, bumpkin!
438
00:11:19,026 --> 00:11:21,018
I have you till 6:00.
439
00:11:21,020 --> 00:11:23,003
[ "The okaleechee dam jam"
440
00:11:23,005 --> 00:11:26,011
Continues ]
441
00:11:26,013 --> 00:11:30,001
>> [ singing indistinctly ]
442
00:11:30,003 --> 00:11:31,001
♪ do it, early ♪
443
00:11:31,003 --> 00:11:32,001
♪ do it, early ♪
444
00:11:32,003 --> 00:11:33,001
♪ do it, early ♪
445
00:11:33,003 --> 00:11:35,003
♪ blow up the dam ♪
446
00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:44,014
>> rig that son of a bitch!
27794
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.