Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,023 --> 00:00:03,028
>> entrepreneur, restaurateur, a
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:06,001
Short, badger-like tycoon with
3
00:00:06,003 --> 00:00:08,000
So much money, he bought the
4
00:00:08,002 --> 00:00:09,002
Word "Money."
5
00:00:09,004 --> 00:00:10,026
Dan halen is all of these
6
00:00:10,028 --> 00:00:11,018
Things.
7
00:00:11,020 --> 00:00:13,016
We caught up with halen at his
8
00:00:13,018 --> 00:00:15,008
Inground pool, inexplicably
9
00:00:15,010 --> 00:00:17,006
Built in the middle of a giant
10
00:00:17,008 --> 00:00:19,019
Lake, which is itself a giant
11
00:00:19,021 --> 00:00:20,016
Aboveground pool.
12
00:00:20,018 --> 00:00:22,000
>> dan halen: right now, we are
13
00:00:22,002 --> 00:00:23,007
Adrift on the north pole.
14
00:00:23,009 --> 00:00:23,021
>> mm.
15
00:00:23,023 --> 00:00:25,003
>> dan halen: I wanted future
16
00:00:25,005 --> 00:00:26,016
Generations to enjoy it in its
17
00:00:26,018 --> 00:00:27,013
Pristine state...
18
00:00:27,015 --> 00:00:28,027
Here in georgia...
19
00:00:28,029 --> 00:00:30,013
Putting a wave pool in there
20
00:00:30,015 --> 00:00:31,017
In the spring.
21
00:00:31,019 --> 00:00:33,015
And here we have mecca. Yes.
22
00:00:33,017 --> 00:00:35,019
[ chuckling ] Millions of
23
00:00:35,021 --> 00:00:38,000
Muslims have no idea where to
24
00:00:38,002 --> 00:00:38,021
Turn.
25
00:00:38,023 --> 00:00:40,018
It's -- it's really quite funny.
26
00:00:40,020 --> 00:00:41,018
>> now, what's this here?
27
00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:42,015
>> dan halen: the, uh,
28
00:00:42,017 --> 00:00:43,005
Blarney stone.
29
00:00:43,007 --> 00:00:45,000
Yes, I found that I needed the
30
00:00:45,002 --> 00:00:46,017
Luck more than the irish.
31
00:00:46,019 --> 00:00:47,014
[ smooches ]
32
00:00:47,016 --> 00:00:49,013
So I just acquired that.
33
00:00:49,015 --> 00:00:51,027
Melissa, you'll find that I'm a
34
00:00:51,029 --> 00:00:54,005
Simple man of simple tastes.
35
00:00:54,007 --> 00:00:57,014
Look -- the sphinx has a booger.
36
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:59,024
An orange booger.
37
00:01:01,022 --> 00:01:02,017
[ chuckles ]
38
00:01:02,019 --> 00:01:04,011
I'm -- I'm delighted by this.
39
00:01:04,013 --> 00:01:05,014
>> you have an impressive
40
00:01:05,016 --> 00:01:06,021
Collection here, but I was --
41
00:01:06,023 --> 00:01:08,002
>> dan halen: and the moon, too.
42
00:01:08,004 --> 00:01:09,009
Did you -- did you know that?
43
00:01:09,011 --> 00:01:10,000
Did I mention?
44
00:01:10,002 --> 00:01:11,016
The [bleep] Moon.
45
00:01:11,018 --> 00:01:12,020
I own that.
46
00:01:12,022 --> 00:01:13,012
That's mine.
47
00:01:13,014 --> 00:01:14,013
>> it's impressive.
48
00:01:14,015 --> 00:01:16,000
>> dan halen: yes, I put pandas
49
00:01:16,002 --> 00:01:16,018
Up there.
50
00:01:16,020 --> 00:01:18,004
They said it couldn't be done,
51
00:01:18,006 --> 00:01:19,005
And...
52
00:01:19,007 --> 00:01:20,023
They were right, as it turned
53
00:01:20,025 --> 00:01:21,005
Out.
54
00:01:21,007 --> 00:01:22,010
The pandas exploded.
55
00:01:22,012 --> 00:01:24,008
Look, I'm not a scientist.
56
00:01:24,010 --> 00:01:26,015
I'm just a man with a lot of
57
00:01:26,017 --> 00:01:27,008
Money.
58
00:01:27,010 --> 00:01:28,002
See that lamp?
59
00:01:28,004 --> 00:01:28,026
[ flies buzzing ]
60
00:01:28,028 --> 00:01:30,007
That was once a human being.
61
00:01:30,009 --> 00:01:31,022
I don't -- I don't want to tell
62
00:01:31,024 --> 00:01:32,026
You how to turn it on.
63
00:01:32,028 --> 00:01:34,012
[ chuckling ] I don't know if we
64
00:01:34,014 --> 00:01:35,018
Can say that on a family
65
00:01:35,020 --> 00:01:36,008
Program.
66
00:01:36,010 --> 00:01:37,028
>> you have an estimated net
67
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:39,009
Worth of over $5 billion.
68
00:01:39,011 --> 00:01:40,022
>> dan halen: [ chuckles ]
69
00:01:40,024 --> 00:01:42,003
>> what keeps you going?
70
00:01:42,005 --> 00:01:43,024
>> dan halen: oh, melissa, come,
71
00:01:43,026 --> 00:01:44,006
Now.
72
00:01:44,008 --> 00:01:46,006
My team of five tailors sews my
73
00:01:46,008 --> 00:01:47,029
Pants on me one thread at a
74
00:01:48,001 --> 00:01:49,027
Time, just like everyone else.
75
00:01:49,029 --> 00:01:50,019
>> [ chuckles ]
76
00:01:50,021 --> 00:01:52,000
But I notice you're not
77
00:01:52,002 --> 00:01:52,018
Pants.
78
00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:54,011
>> dan halen: you're...Sure
79
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,007
About that?
80
00:01:55,009 --> 00:01:56,020
Zoom -- zoom in on this.
81
00:01:56,022 --> 00:01:58,001
Right -- right here.
82
00:01:58,003 --> 00:02:00,000
>> does that -- does that say
83
00:02:00,002 --> 00:02:01,001
"Born 2 pork!"?
84
00:02:01,003 --> 00:02:02,019
>> dan halen: [ chuckles ]
85
00:02:02,021 --> 00:02:03,029
I'm glad you noticed.
86
00:02:04,001 --> 00:02:05,023
It's from my exclusive line of
87
00:02:05,025 --> 00:02:08,002
Tan man body stencils.
88
00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:09,026
>> halen's body stencils are the
89
00:02:09,028 --> 00:02:11,006
Newest moneymaker in an
90
00:02:11,008 --> 00:02:12,019
Unstoppable empire.
91
00:02:12,021 --> 00:02:14,026
>> dan halen: now with comically
92
00:02:14,028 --> 00:02:16,011
Mixed-up letters.
93
00:02:16,013 --> 00:02:18,016
Pimp your muffin top today!
94
00:02:18,018 --> 00:02:20,019
You know
95
00:02:20,021 --> 00:02:22,011
>> if dan halen were any less
96
00:02:22,013 --> 00:02:24,008
Successful, he might not be able
97
00:02:24,010 --> 00:02:26,004
To indulge his expensive tastes,
98
00:02:26,006 --> 00:02:27,025
Like his menagerie of exotic
99
00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:28,020
Pets.
100
00:02:28,022 --> 00:02:30,025
>> dan halen: aha.
101
00:02:30,027 --> 00:02:31,023
Ah, hello, boy.
102
00:02:31,025 --> 00:02:32,009
>> wow.
103
00:02:32,011 --> 00:02:33,021
>> dan halen: allow me to
104
00:02:33,023 --> 00:02:34,017
Introduce you.
105
00:02:34,019 --> 00:02:35,028
This is ken griffin jr.
106
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:36,019
>> [ roars ]
107
00:02:36,021 --> 00:02:38,005
>> and that's an actual griffin
108
00:02:38,007 --> 00:02:39,000
From...Mythology.
109
00:02:39,002 --> 00:02:40,009
>> dan halen: no, no, no.
110
00:02:40,011 --> 00:02:41,017
This is a griffin doodle.
111
00:02:41,019 --> 00:02:43,000
They're more expensive than a
112
00:02:43,002 --> 00:02:44,020
Purebred griffin.
113
00:02:44,022 --> 00:02:46,002
But they're terrible with
114
00:02:46,004 --> 00:02:47,016
Children.
115
00:02:47,018 --> 00:02:48,027
>> now, shouldn't this fish be
116
00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:49,015
In a bowl?
117
00:02:49,017 --> 00:02:50,029
>> dan halen: if he were the one
118
00:02:51,001 --> 00:02:53,000
Calling the shots, yes, he
119
00:02:53,002 --> 00:02:55,001
Be in a bowl, I suppose, fat and
120
00:02:55,003 --> 00:02:56,006
Happy.
121
00:02:56,008 --> 00:02:57,010
But he's not.
122
00:02:57,012 --> 00:02:57,025
>> ah.
123
00:02:57,027 --> 00:02:59,000
>> dan halen: come on.
124
00:02:59,002 --> 00:02:59,020
Moonwalk.
125
00:02:59,022 --> 00:03:01,024
Do the moonwalk for me.
126
00:03:01,026 --> 00:03:03,007
>> [ gasps ]
127
00:03:03,009 --> 00:03:05,021
>> dan halen: there you go.
128
00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:08,004
There you go.
129
00:03:08,006 --> 00:03:08,029
There you...Go!
130
00:03:09,001 --> 00:03:09,021
>> [ gasps ]
131
00:03:09,023 --> 00:03:11,000
>> dan halen: you see, I'm
132
00:03:11,002 --> 00:03:12,012
Teaching him to equate water
133
00:03:12,014 --> 00:03:13,004
With pain.
134
00:03:13,006 --> 00:03:14,022
[ chuckling ] Someday, we'll
135
00:03:14,024 --> 00:03:16,023
Look back on this and laugh.
136
00:03:16,025 --> 00:03:18,008
[ laughs ]
137
00:03:20,011 --> 00:03:22,021
Samara!
138
00:03:22,023 --> 00:03:24,005
>> why do you think you have so
139
00:03:24,007 --> 00:03:25,016
Many enemies in the business
140
00:03:25,018 --> 00:03:25,029
World?
141
00:03:26,001 --> 00:03:27,009
>> dan halen: well, I think
142
00:03:27,011 --> 00:03:28,023
Outside the box, melissa, and I
143
00:03:28,025 --> 00:03:30,012
Chart my own course.
144
00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:32,018
I'm american, and I refuse to
145
00:03:32,020 --> 00:03:33,017
Outsource.
146
00:03:33,019 --> 00:03:35,019
The japanese have a word --
147
00:03:35,021 --> 00:03:37,017
Hanawana...Something.
148
00:03:37,019 --> 00:03:40,007
I -- well, I...
149
00:03:40,009 --> 00:03:42,005
I bought this sword in japan.
150
00:03:42,007 --> 00:03:43,025
>> critics point to halen's
151
00:03:43,027 --> 00:03:45,008
Affinity for even more
152
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:46,020
Controversial business
153
00:03:46,022 --> 00:03:48,020
Practices, like undersourcing...
154
00:03:48,022 --> 00:03:50,020
>> dan halen: melissa, listen.
155
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:52,019
The mole people had no future
156
00:03:52,021 --> 00:03:54,003
Before I came along.
157
00:03:54,005 --> 00:03:55,028
I brought them electricity,
158
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,014
Taught them structure.
159
00:03:57,016 --> 00:03:59,009
They had no elevator to the
160
00:03:59,011 --> 00:04:00,012
Surface, for example.
161
00:04:00,014 --> 00:04:00,028
>> hmm.
162
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,013
>> dan halen: and they -- they
163
00:04:03,007 --> 00:04:04,016
I think we'd all -- I think
164
00:04:04,018 --> 00:04:05,028
We'll all sleep a lot easier
165
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,014
With them not being able to get
166
00:04:07,016 --> 00:04:08,001
Up here.
167
00:04:08,003 --> 00:04:09,002
[ moles shrieking ]
168
00:04:09,004 --> 00:04:10,012
No!
169
00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,001
[ clank ]
170
00:04:11,003 --> 00:04:12,021
>> ...And his controversial
171
00:04:12,023 --> 00:04:14,028
"Volcano fun camp for winners."
172
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,021
>> dan halen: I bring 40
173
00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:18,029
Underprivileged inner-city kids
174
00:04:19,001 --> 00:04:21,004
With no home, no education, no
175
00:04:21,006 --> 00:04:24,016
Future to spend the summer in my
176
00:04:24,018 --> 00:04:25,005
Volcano.
177
00:04:25,007 --> 00:04:26,020
Melissa, many of these kids
178
00:04:26,022 --> 00:04:28,010
Would never even get to
179
00:04:28,012 --> 00:04:29,007
Volcano.
180
00:04:29,009 --> 00:04:31,017
Now they get to be part of a
181
00:04:31,019 --> 00:04:33,022
Real live working volcano.
182
00:04:33,024 --> 00:04:34,020
[ laughs ]
183
00:04:34,022 --> 00:04:35,015
Come on.
184
00:04:35,017 --> 00:04:37,005
Who wants second place?
185
00:04:37,007 --> 00:04:38,022
Come on! Get in there!
186
00:04:38,024 --> 00:04:40,013
[ children scream ]
187
00:04:40,015 --> 00:04:42,010
>> local law enforcement has,
188
00:04:42,012 --> 00:04:44,013
For years, turned a blind eye to
189
00:04:44,015 --> 00:04:45,028
Halen's questionable exploits.
190
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,015
>> sheriff: well, he
191
00:04:47,017 --> 00:04:49,001
A lot of money into the county.
192
00:04:49,003 --> 00:04:50,010
If he's got to bend a few
193
00:04:50,012 --> 00:04:53,020
Laws...Of nature to, you know,
194
00:04:53,022 --> 00:04:55,015
Make a profit, well, who am I to
195
00:04:55,017 --> 00:04:55,028
Say?
196
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,019
>> you're the sheriff, right?
197
00:04:57,021 --> 00:04:59,010
>> sheriff: well [chuckles ]
198
00:04:59,012 --> 00:05:00,000
Someday.
199
00:05:00,002 --> 00:05:01,000
Knock on wood.
200
00:05:01,002 --> 00:05:02,019
It would be a great honor to
201
00:05:02,021 --> 00:05:03,008
Serve...
202
00:05:03,010 --> 00:05:03,027
>> here we go.
203
00:05:03,029 --> 00:05:04,021
>> give me a break.
204
00:05:04,023 --> 00:05:05,021
>> sheriff: oh, shut up!
205
00:05:05,023 --> 00:05:06,023
>> [ mockingly ] It'd be an
206
00:05:06,025 --> 00:05:07,006
Honor...
207
00:05:07,008 --> 00:05:08,013
>> sheriff: you'd be saying the
208
00:05:08,015 --> 00:05:09,013
Same thing if it was you.
209
00:05:09,015 --> 00:05:10,005
I guarantee it.
210
00:05:10,007 --> 00:05:11,013
>> oh, you're just kissin' ass
211
00:05:11,015 --> 00:05:12,022
'cause you want to be harvested
212
00:05:12,024 --> 00:05:13,003
Next.
213
00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:13,026
>> make me sick.
214
00:05:13,028 --> 00:05:14,026
>> sheriff: he's right.
215
00:05:14,028 --> 00:05:16,002
>> he loves the camera, that
216
00:05:16,004 --> 00:05:16,027
Guy, don't he?
217
00:05:16,029 --> 00:05:18,017
>> sheriff: winters are so tough
218
00:05:18,019 --> 00:05:19,019
Out here.
219
00:05:19,021 --> 00:05:20,028
Oh, no! The sleep fog!
220
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,009
I said too much!
221
00:05:22,011 --> 00:05:24,007
Run!
222
00:05:24,009 --> 00:05:26,002
>> and then there's this.
223
00:05:26,004 --> 00:05:28,007
>> dan halen: anything smaller
224
00:05:28,009 --> 00:05:30,013
Just doesn't give me the bounce
225
00:05:30,015 --> 00:05:32,015
And volume I require!
226
00:05:32,017 --> 00:05:35,006
>> mr. Halen, you call this a
227
00:05:35,008 --> 00:05:36,027
"Hair dryery."
228
00:05:36,029 --> 00:05:38,011
Some of your critics have
229
00:05:38,013 --> 00:05:39,025
Referred to it as a global
230
00:05:39,027 --> 00:05:40,014
Warmery.
231
00:05:40,016 --> 00:05:42,008
>> dan halen: I'll have you know
232
00:05:42,010 --> 00:05:44,019
This whole plant runs on
233
00:05:44,021 --> 00:05:47,013
Clean-burning styrofoam!
234
00:05:47,015 --> 00:05:49,004
>> but a whistle-blower at the
235
00:05:49,006 --> 00:05:50,016
Plant told an even more
236
00:05:50,018 --> 00:05:51,018
Disturbing story.
237
00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:53,001
>> lil: hell, fumer ain't so
238
00:05:53,003 --> 00:05:53,013
Bad.
239
00:05:53,015 --> 00:05:54,028
Don't knock it till you tried
240
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:55,008
It.
241
00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:57,014
Shield your eyes!
242
00:05:57,016 --> 00:05:58,003
[ coughs ]
243
00:05:58,005 --> 00:05:59,016
>> but there was another thing
244
00:05:59,018 --> 00:06:00,003
You said.
245
00:06:00,005 --> 00:06:00,027
>> lil: wha?
246
00:06:00,029 --> 00:06:01,021
>> earlier.
247
00:06:01,023 --> 00:06:03,016
>> lil: you mean how I like that
248
00:06:03,018 --> 00:06:05,002
Movie where brian bosworth
249
00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:06,014
Played a detective?
250
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:08,012
>> no. Uh, the very first thing.
251
00:06:08,014 --> 00:06:10,004
>> lil: oh -- the one where
252
00:06:10,006 --> 00:06:12,000
Brian bosworth is playin' a
253
00:06:12,002 --> 00:06:13,023
Talkin' motorcycle, right?
254
00:06:13,025 --> 00:06:15,005
The animated thing?
255
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,001
>> no, no.
256
00:06:16,003 --> 00:06:18,017
The very first thing you said.
257
00:06:18,019 --> 00:06:19,025
Remember -- it was about the
258
00:06:19,027 --> 00:06:20,012
Children?
259
00:06:20,014 --> 00:06:21,024
>> lil: oh -- about how everyone
260
00:06:21,026 --> 00:06:23,008
Else workin' here is a bunch of
261
00:06:23,010 --> 00:06:23,027
Naked kids.
262
00:06:23,029 --> 00:06:25,027
It ain't such a big deal.
263
00:06:25,029 --> 00:06:27,024
>> that's right -- naked
264
00:06:27,026 --> 00:06:29,026
Children forced to work in
265
00:06:29,028 --> 00:06:32,002
Unclothed conditions for no pay.
266
00:06:32,004 --> 00:06:33,027
Do you have anything you want to
267
00:06:33,029 --> 00:06:35,017
Say to the people about this?
268
00:06:35,019 --> 00:06:37,012
>> dan halen: oh, melissa, those
269
00:06:37,014 --> 00:06:38,022
Aren't naked children.
270
00:06:38,024 --> 00:06:39,012
They're...
271
00:06:39,014 --> 00:06:40,015
[ children crying ]
272
00:06:40,017 --> 00:06:41,025
Listen, when I agreed to this
273
00:06:41,027 --> 00:06:42,029
Interview, I was under the
274
00:06:43,001 --> 00:06:44,011
Impression we'd be talking about
275
00:06:44,013 --> 00:06:45,012
My charity work.
276
00:06:45,014 --> 00:06:47,003
>> dan halen does have a cause
277
00:06:47,005 --> 00:06:48,010
About which he feels
278
00:06:48,012 --> 00:06:50,016
Passionately -- helping people
279
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:52,026
Who, like him, were born without
280
00:06:52,028 --> 00:06:53,015
Knees.
281
00:06:53,017 --> 00:06:55,011
>> dan halen: I never let it
282
00:06:55,013 --> 00:06:57,007
Stop me from living my life.
283
00:06:57,009 --> 00:06:59,007
Every morning, I get up and do
284
00:06:59,009 --> 00:07:00,014
50 squat thrusts.
285
00:07:00,016 --> 00:07:01,023
[ groans ]
286
00:07:01,025 --> 00:07:03,001
[ straining ] One.
287
00:07:03,003 --> 00:07:05,005
And so, in conclusion, don't
288
00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,002
Allow your spirit to bend
289
00:07:07,004 --> 00:07:09,006
Because your knees will not.
290
00:07:09,008 --> 00:07:11,008
For I say to thee, one born
291
00:07:11,010 --> 00:07:13,015
Without knees kneels before no
292
00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:14,006
Man.
293
00:07:14,008 --> 00:07:16,005
>> [ clapping ]
294
00:07:16,007 --> 00:07:17,001
>> dan halen: thank you.
295
00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:17,028
Thank you.
296
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:18,024
Thank you.
297
00:07:18,026 --> 00:07:20,015
But, on the other hand, I do
298
00:07:20,017 --> 00:07:21,008
Have feet.
299
00:07:21,010 --> 00:07:23,005
Who allowed this freak in here?!
300
00:07:23,007 --> 00:07:27,017
Find your own charity, foot man!
301
00:07:27,019 --> 00:07:29,017
>> as influential as he is,
302
00:07:29,019 --> 00:07:31,018
Surprisingly little is known
303
00:07:31,020 --> 00:07:33,022
About halen's past -- even by
304
00:07:33,024 --> 00:07:35,022
His neighbors and employees.
305
00:07:35,024 --> 00:07:37,011
>> early: yeah, I know about
306
00:07:37,013 --> 00:07:38,003
Dan halen.
307
00:07:38,005 --> 00:07:39,014
He was a ornery feller,
308
00:07:39,016 --> 00:07:41,001
Chatterin' up in a tree all
309
00:07:41,003 --> 00:07:42,026
Tauntin'-like, cheeks all puffed
310
00:07:42,028 --> 00:07:44,019
Up with wally-nuts and whatnot.
311
00:07:44,021 --> 00:07:46,014
I took aim at him with my pellet
312
00:07:46,016 --> 00:07:48,009
Gun, blasted the tar outta him.
313
00:07:48,011 --> 00:07:49,024
>> are you sure you're not
314
00:07:49,026 --> 00:07:51,009
Talking about that stuffed
315
00:07:51,011 --> 00:07:52,023
Squirrel over there?
316
00:07:52,025 --> 00:07:54,022
>> early: oh.
317
00:07:54,024 --> 00:07:56,007
Well, you might be right about
318
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:56,026
That, now.
319
00:07:56,028 --> 00:07:58,014
>> is there anything you can say
320
00:07:58,016 --> 00:08:00,013
About dan halen?
321
00:08:00,015 --> 00:08:02,004
>> early: mm...
322
00:08:02,006 --> 00:08:03,005
Um...
323
00:08:03,007 --> 00:08:04,018
>> the man who's been your boss
324
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:07,007
For the past 17 years?
325
00:08:09,016 --> 00:08:10,017
>> early: wally-nuts.
326
00:08:10,019 --> 00:08:11,028
Blasted the hell out of it.
327
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,013
>> I think we've got all we're
328
00:08:13,015 --> 00:08:14,016
Gonna get here.
329
00:08:14,018 --> 00:08:16,001
We paid a visit to the
330
00:08:16,003 --> 00:08:17,014
Dan halen archives at
331
00:08:17,016 --> 00:08:19,010
Sheetrock memorial university
332
00:08:19,012 --> 00:08:21,004
And were shocked at what we
333
00:08:21,006 --> 00:08:21,029
Found.
334
00:08:22,001 --> 00:08:24,019
Mr. Halen, take a look at this.
335
00:08:24,021 --> 00:08:26,006
The chicago democratic
336
00:08:26,008 --> 00:08:27,018
Convention in 1968.
337
00:08:27,020 --> 00:08:29,004
>> dan halen: ah, the '60s.
338
00:08:29,006 --> 00:08:30,013
I'll never forget them.
339
00:08:30,015 --> 00:08:32,003
>> I believe that's you in the
340
00:08:32,005 --> 00:08:33,016
Upper-left corner hitting
341
00:08:33,018 --> 00:08:34,023
Someone with a chain.
342
00:08:34,025 --> 00:08:36,009
>> dan halen: [ laughing ] I
343
00:08:36,011 --> 00:08:37,027
Remem-- I remember I made that
344
00:08:37,029 --> 00:08:39,010
Guy taste the chain.
345
00:08:39,012 --> 00:08:41,013
"Taste the chain," I said again
346
00:08:41,015 --> 00:08:43,010
And again, long after he was
347
00:08:43,012 --> 00:08:45,012
Incapable of tasting
348
00:08:45,014 --> 00:08:46,025
>> we found this in the
349
00:08:46,027 --> 00:08:48,022
Archives, uh, after the invasion
350
00:08:48,024 --> 00:08:50,004
Of poland.
351
00:08:50,006 --> 00:08:51,021
>> dan halen: heil hitler!
352
00:08:51,023 --> 00:08:52,028
Sieg heil!
353
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,027
We belonged to the same gym.
354
00:08:54,029 --> 00:08:57,002
I suppose you'll take that image
355
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:59,006
Out of context and make it into
356
00:08:59,008 --> 00:08:59,027
Something.
357
00:08:59,029 --> 00:09:01,014
>> here you are in berlin in
358
00:09:01,016 --> 00:09:02,010
1926.
359
00:09:02,012 --> 00:09:04,002
>> dan halen: so I used to be a
360
00:09:04,004 --> 00:09:05,016
Transvestite cabaret host.
361
00:09:05,018 --> 00:09:07,020
You have a point with this?
362
00:09:07,022 --> 00:09:09,027
>> according to our research,
363
00:09:09,029 --> 00:09:12,011
Dan halen has apparently existed
364
00:09:12,013 --> 00:09:14,002
Throughout recorded history.
365
00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:15,028
>> dan halen:
366
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,023
Political prisoners during the
367
00:09:17,025 --> 00:09:18,021
Medieval era.
368
00:09:18,023 --> 00:09:20,015
This sacrifice led to plenty of
369
00:09:20,017 --> 00:09:21,001
Rain.
370
00:09:21,003 --> 00:09:22,022
The maize crop that year was
371
00:09:22,024 --> 00:09:23,015
Wonderful.
372
00:09:23,017 --> 00:09:25,004
I was taking the nail
373
00:09:25,006 --> 00:09:26,026
I was trying to help the man.
374
00:09:26,028 --> 00:09:28,022
Well, it's not like I
375
00:09:28,024 --> 00:09:29,007
Fire.
376
00:09:29,009 --> 00:09:31,000
So I spread some of the black
377
00:09:31,002 --> 00:09:31,019
Plague.
378
00:09:31,021 --> 00:09:33,013
Those egyptians were trying to
379
00:09:33,015 --> 00:09:35,006
Steal precious artifacts from
380
00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,014
The british museum.
381
00:09:36,016 --> 00:09:38,008
Well, that -- that was just an
382
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,002
Accident.
383
00:09:39,004 --> 00:09:41,000
>> mr. Halen, these pictures
384
00:09:41,002 --> 00:09:42,008
Prove you're tens of thousands
385
00:09:42,010 --> 00:09:42,027
Of years old.
386
00:09:42,029 --> 00:09:43,028
>> dan halen: melissa --
387
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,003
>> what do you say to these
388
00:09:45,005 --> 00:09:46,025
Charges?
389
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,020
>> dan halen: I don't recall.
390
00:09:49,022 --> 00:09:51,002
>> you don't recall that you're
391
00:09:51,004 --> 00:09:53,029
A living embodiment of evil?
392
00:09:54,001 --> 00:09:55,006
>> dan halen: uh, no.
393
00:09:55,008 --> 00:09:56,016
No, I don't recall that.
394
00:09:56,018 --> 00:09:58,009
>> a plague on humanity from the
395
00:09:58,011 --> 00:09:59,011
Beginning of time?
396
00:09:59,013 --> 00:10:00,022
>> dan halen: mm...No, I
397
00:10:00,024 --> 00:10:02,004
Don't -- I don't recall.
398
00:10:02,006 --> 00:10:03,016
>> we have film evidence.
399
00:10:03,018 --> 00:10:04,017
We have pictures.
400
00:10:04,019 --> 00:10:05,025
>> dan halen: come on.
401
00:10:05,027 --> 00:10:07,014
>> what could you possibly say
402
00:10:07,016 --> 00:10:10,018
To these charges, mr. Halen?
403
00:10:10,020 --> 00:10:12,008
>> dan halen: I'm sorry, but I'm
404
00:10:12,010 --> 00:10:13,016
Not equipped to reach a
405
00:10:13,018 --> 00:10:14,027
Conclusion regarding that
406
00:10:14,029 --> 00:10:16,007
Assessment at this time.
407
00:10:16,009 --> 00:10:17,027
And what's more, let me add that
408
00:10:17,029 --> 00:10:19,012
I
409
00:10:19,014 --> 00:10:20,005
Saying that.
410
00:10:20,007 --> 00:10:21,024
>> mr. Hal--
411
00:10:21,026 --> 00:10:22,029
>> dan halen: yes, there's no
412
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:25,012
Such thing as a free necklace.
413
00:10:25,014 --> 00:10:26,022
Mmmmuckraker.
414
00:10:26,024 --> 00:10:28,012
[ snaps fingers ]
415
00:10:28,014 --> 00:10:30,027
>> let me just scooch this over.
416
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,003
Tell me more about your
417
00:10:32,005 --> 00:10:33,007
Tan man body stencils.
418
00:10:33,009 --> 00:10:34,024
>> dan halen: [ chuckling ] Oh,
419
00:10:34,026 --> 00:10:36,011
That's a good question, melissa.
420
00:10:36,013 --> 00:10:37,026
No, I-I didn't realize we were
421
00:10:37,028 --> 00:10:39,003
Going to be promoting my
422
00:10:39,005 --> 00:10:39,026
Products today.
423
00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:40,027
>> granny: now,
424
00:10:40,029 --> 00:10:43,004
Journalism -- insightful but
425
00:10:43,006 --> 00:10:45,002
Extremely well-balanced.
426
00:10:45,004 --> 00:10:46,024
I feel like I'm friends with the
427
00:10:46,026 --> 00:10:47,004
Man.
428
00:10:47,006 --> 00:10:48,013
>> early: hell of a man, that
429
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,018
One, givin' us these free
430
00:10:49,020 --> 00:10:51,000
Necklaces the way he done.
431
00:10:51,002 --> 00:10:51,026
Hell of a man.
432
00:10:51,028 --> 00:10:53,015
>> lil: yeah, well, I just wish
433
00:10:53,017 --> 00:10:55,017
He'd let us smoke in --
434
00:10:57,006 --> 00:10:58,009
>> rusty: guess our break's
435
00:10:58,011 --> 00:10:58,020
Over.
436
00:10:58,022 --> 00:11:00,029
>> granny: yeah. Back to work.
437
00:11:02,011 --> 00:11:04,004
>> early: hell of a man.
27089
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof