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1
00:00:06,879 --> 00:00:09,720
[music playing]
2
00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:35,000
[helicopter sound]
3
00:00:35,119 --> 00:00:37,479
[explosion]
4
00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:42,960
[clattering]
5
00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,960
[laughter]
6
00:00:53,079 --> 00:00:56,039
Ted, how are you?
7
00:00:56,159 --> 00:00:58,640
Dougal, hello there.
8
00:00:58,759 --> 00:00:59,600
Did you have a good time?
9
00:01:02,359 --> 00:01:04,359
Great, great.
10
00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:06,280
Everything here has been fine.
11
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:07,400
Nothing wrong here at all.
12
00:01:07,519 --> 00:01:09,040
There's no problems here at all.
13
00:01:28,920 --> 00:01:32,400
So how was the school reunion?
14
00:01:32,519 --> 00:01:33,680
Keep on talking.
15
00:01:33,799 --> 00:01:35,159
Oh.
16
00:01:35,280 --> 00:01:36,799
I was at the old school reunion.
17
00:01:39,439 --> 00:01:40,239
Where does this go?
18
00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:50,359
Father, do you think a cup
of tea might calm you down?
19
00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,640
Oh, Father McGuire, you're back.
20
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:52,560
Thank God.
21
00:01:55,519 --> 00:01:57,719
You've got to do something.
22
00:01:57,840 --> 00:01:59,519
Father Crilly's gone mad.
23
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:01,799
It's this football thing.
24
00:02:01,920 --> 00:02:02,920
God almighty.
25
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:04,000
Is it that time
of the year again?
26
00:02:04,120 --> 00:02:05,319
Yes.
27
00:02:05,439 --> 00:02:06,319
And he thinks Father
Burns is trying to find
28
00:02:06,439 --> 00:02:07,920
out his tactics for the match.
29
00:02:08,039 --> 00:02:09,520
I mean, it's only
a stupid a game
30
00:02:09,639 --> 00:02:12,199
of football, for goodness sake.
31
00:02:12,319 --> 00:02:15,360
Mrs. Doyle, I'm sorry, but no.
32
00:02:15,479 --> 00:02:17,159
There's nothing
stupid about football.
33
00:02:17,280 --> 00:02:19,280
And there's nothing at all
stupid about the annual
34
00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:23,719
all-priest five a side, over
75, indoor football challenge
35
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,759
match against Rugged Island.
36
00:02:41,759 --> 00:02:42,560
Please, Father, please.
37
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:43,479
Do something.
38
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:51,159
Anyway Dougal, you were
saying about the school reunion?
39
00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:52,840
Well, I didn't
recognize any of them.
40
00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:53,719
And do you know what, Ted?
41
00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,120
They'd all become firemen.
42
00:02:55,240 --> 00:02:56,800
I was the only one there
who wasn't a fireman.
43
00:02:56,919 --> 00:02:57,800
Can you believe that?
44
00:03:04,319 --> 00:03:07,599
Dougal, you didn't go to
a fire station or something
45
00:03:07,719 --> 00:03:09,080
by mistake?
46
00:03:09,199 --> 00:03:10,000
Ah.
47
00:03:15,520 --> 00:03:17,159
Ted, come on.
48
00:03:17,280 --> 00:03:18,599
Your going a bit mad there.
49
00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:20,520
I'm sure I don't know
what you're talking about.
50
00:03:20,639 --> 00:03:22,199
There's nothing wrong with me.
51
00:03:22,319 --> 00:03:24,680
Everything with me is fine.
52
00:03:24,800 --> 00:03:27,039
Ted, I'm going to
have to do something.
53
00:03:27,159 --> 00:03:28,639
And you're not going to like it.
54
00:03:28,759 --> 00:03:30,960
Call it female intuition or
whatever the male equivalent
55
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,680
of female intuition is, but
this isn't going to go down
56
00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:35,599
well in the Ted camp at all.
57
00:03:35,719 --> 00:03:36,520
I think--
58
00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:41,280
Sorry, Ted.
59
00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,199
You were going a bit too mad.
60
00:03:43,319 --> 00:03:44,120
My God.
61
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,520
What have I done?
62
00:03:45,639 --> 00:03:46,400
Look at the room.
63
00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:47,840
Look at the room.
64
00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:48,840
You're right, Dougal.
65
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:49,759
I have to get a hold of myself.
66
00:04:00,280 --> 00:04:01,080
Well, Ted.
67
00:04:01,199 --> 00:04:02,639
Been bugged by Dick Byrne?
68
00:04:02,759 --> 00:04:04,120
Now, that's not
very likely, is it?
69
00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:05,280
Come on, Ted.
Look at you.
70
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,960
You look terrible.
71
00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:10,039
I've been having trouble
getting any sleep at all.
72
00:04:10,159 --> 00:04:11,439
I'm going to try this stuff.
73
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:12,800
Dreamy Sleepy Nighty
Snoozy Snooze.
74
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,439
Dreamy Sleepy
Nighty Snoozy Snooze?
75
00:04:17,560 --> 00:04:18,920
Yes.
76
00:04:19,040 --> 00:04:21,439
It's a brand-based alcoholic
chocolate sleeping aid.
77
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:23,000
It's banned in most
European countries.
78
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,199
So that means it's very good.
79
00:04:25,319 --> 00:04:27,480
Well, in the meantime, I'll
go and get us both an ice cream.
80
00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,680
That'll calm us down.
81
00:04:28,800 --> 00:04:29,600
Ah, that'll be nice.
82
00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,800
Where are you going to
get an ice cream though?
83
00:04:36,920 --> 00:04:38,160
Oh, there's an ice
cream van outside.
84
00:04:38,279 --> 00:04:39,079
Is there?
85
00:04:43,639 --> 00:04:46,160
It's not going to sell
much ice cream out there.
86
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:47,519
There on to us, Cyril.
87
00:04:47,639 --> 00:04:48,439
Go, go, go.
88
00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:49,920
Go, go, go.
89
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,879
[tires screeching]
90
00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:57,319
Come on, Father Collin.
91
00:04:57,439 --> 00:04:58,800
Get your ass in gear.
92
00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:00,000
Father Willa, come on.
93
00:05:00,120 --> 00:05:01,959
You can move faster than that.
94
00:05:02,079 --> 00:05:03,160
Get into it.
95
00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:04,519
Who missed the
[inaudible] from there.
96
00:05:04,639 --> 00:05:07,120
You need shooting.
97
00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:10,319
I'm very tired.
98
00:05:10,439 --> 00:05:12,399
I'm 85.
99
00:05:12,519 --> 00:05:13,839
Good God.
100
00:05:13,959 --> 00:05:15,639
That's an awful defeatist
attitude, Father Collin.
101
00:05:15,759 --> 00:05:18,040
I'm holding you back
for extra training.
102
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,560
You'll stay here until 7:00.
103
00:05:19,680 --> 00:05:22,040
Do 15 laps of the pitch.
104
00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:22,959
But--
105
00:05:23,079 --> 00:05:23,839
Off you go.
106
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,360
God.
107
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:32,279
I don't know.
108
00:05:32,399 --> 00:05:33,800
The attitude of those lads.
109
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,160
There was a time
when the over 75
110
00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:36,680
team put their hearts into it.
111
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:37,600
But now they're just--
112
00:05:37,720 --> 00:05:39,519
kick the [bleep] ball.
113
00:05:39,639 --> 00:05:42,839
[bleep] All over the place.
114
00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:47,600
Big Byrne's got him a new fella.
115
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:49,480
Supposed to be flip
hot and Italian.
116
00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:50,800
Oh, yes.
117
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,800
The Italians know about
football all right.
118
00:05:52,920 --> 00:05:54,279
And, of course, the
world of fashion.
119
00:05:54,399 --> 00:05:55,759
God, Ted.
120
00:05:55,879 --> 00:05:56,600
You remember that fellow
who was so good at fashion,
121
00:05:56,720 --> 00:05:57,199
they had to shoot him.
122
00:06:00,639 --> 00:06:02,079
Where is Nick Daugherty?
123
00:06:02,199 --> 00:06:03,720
Father Jack doesn't turn up.
124
00:06:03,839 --> 00:06:05,360
Nick doesn't turn up.
125
00:06:05,480 --> 00:06:09,040
Our main bloody strike force,
and they're not bloody here.
126
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,959
You wouldn't think Father
Jack was any good at football,
127
00:06:11,079 --> 00:06:12,920
would you Ted?
- No.
128
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,279
Ah, but then you
see him out there.
129
00:06:15,399 --> 00:06:16,399
Beautiful player.
130
00:06:16,519 --> 00:06:17,920
Poetry in motion.
131
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:21,000
Did You told me once Jack
had a tryout with Liverpool.
132
00:06:21,120 --> 00:06:22,279
No.
133
00:06:22,399 --> 00:06:26,079
He was on trial in Liverpool.
134
00:06:26,199 --> 00:06:28,279
Wonder where Nick is though?
135
00:06:28,399 --> 00:06:30,079
God, yeah.
I mean, Jack's good.
136
00:06:30,199 --> 00:06:32,040
But if anything happened to
Nick, we'd be up to our necks
137
00:06:32,160 --> 00:06:33,319
in flip.
138
00:06:33,439 --> 00:06:34,879
And with this new
fellow on Dick's team,
139
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:37,439
we need Nick at the
very peak of his powers.
140
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:45,439
So there's no way
he'll be able to play?
141
00:06:49,639 --> 00:06:50,839
No.
142
00:06:50,959 --> 00:06:51,839
No, he's dead.
143
00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,600
It's completely out
of the question then?
144
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:01,399
Is it?
145
00:07:01,519 --> 00:07:03,360
Is it completely
out of the question?
146
00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:04,319
Come on, Ted.
147
00:07:04,439 --> 00:07:06,040
You're clutching at straws.
148
00:07:06,160 --> 00:07:06,959
Come on, lads.
149
00:07:07,079 --> 00:07:07,839
You're right.
150
00:07:07,959 --> 00:07:09,800
[fax machine]
151
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:16,120
Oh, isn't that nice.
152
00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:17,560
Sorry to hear you died.
153
00:07:17,680 --> 00:07:18,920
From Father Hagerty in Chicago.
154
00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:23,480
Does that coffin have
a fax machine in it?
155
00:07:23,600 --> 00:07:25,480
Oh, yes.
It's the latest thing.
156
00:07:25,600 --> 00:07:27,560
And look at this.
157
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:30,199
You see, this display
here tells you
158
00:07:30,319 --> 00:07:31,639
how long you've been buried.
159
00:07:31,759 --> 00:07:34,839
And this one tells you how
deep down the coffin is.
160
00:07:34,959 --> 00:07:36,199
Isn't it amazing?
161
00:07:36,319 --> 00:07:38,439
And with these
humidity controls,
162
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:43,040
Father Nick won't start decaying
until, oh, sometime next year.
163
00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,800
You've got to stop
buying this catalog stuff.
164
00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,879
It's a complete waste of money.
165
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,120
I mean, look, a remote
control wheelchair.
166
00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:52,800
Why would you need that?
167
00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:55,079
You probably get more use from
those fake joke arms you got.
168
00:07:55,199 --> 00:07:57,680
Oh, those.
169
00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,759
They seemed funny at the time.
170
00:08:00,879 --> 00:08:05,240
And so they reminded
me of my own arms.
171
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:06,639
Fake arms.
172
00:08:06,759 --> 00:08:09,000
Niall, honestly, what
kind of a situation
173
00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,480
could possibly require either
a radio-controlled wheelchair
174
00:08:11,600 --> 00:08:13,720
or a pair of joke arms?
175
00:08:13,839 --> 00:08:17,439
Only I would imagine a
completely ludicrous one.
176
00:08:17,560 --> 00:08:19,720
Yes.
177
00:08:19,839 --> 00:08:24,560
Anyway, do you think you can win
this match without Father Nick.
178
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:25,759
I don't know.
179
00:08:25,879 --> 00:08:28,160
He has a great
partnership with--
180
00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:32,360
had-- he had a great partnership
with Father Jack up front.
181
00:08:32,480 --> 00:08:34,440
God, if Dick Byrne wins.
182
00:08:34,559 --> 00:08:36,799
We're using the
forfeit system again.
183
00:08:36,919 --> 00:08:40,799
Last year when we
lost, Dick made
184
00:08:40,919 --> 00:08:45,120
me photocopy my own rear end.
185
00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:47,080
[phone ringing]
186
00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,399
They never let me back
in that library again.
187
00:08:53,159 --> 00:08:54,840
Hello.
188
00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:55,919
Oh, it's for you.
189
00:09:00,919 --> 00:09:02,200
Hello.
190
00:09:02,320 --> 00:09:05,919
DICK BYRNE: I am going
to win again, Ted.
191
00:09:06,039 --> 00:09:07,039
Ha.
192
00:09:07,159 --> 00:09:08,279
That's what you
think, Dick Byrne.
193
00:09:08,399 --> 00:09:10,000
But we've got some--
194
00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:11,440
wait a minute.
195
00:09:11,559 --> 00:09:12,519
How did you know I was here?
196
00:09:12,639 --> 00:09:15,480
[ice cream truck music]
197
00:09:20,039 --> 00:09:22,399
Damn you, Father Dick Byrne.
198
00:09:30,519 --> 00:09:31,320
Yeah.
199
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:32,200
All right.
200
00:09:32,320 --> 00:09:33,559
All right.
201
00:09:33,679 --> 00:09:34,519
More bad news, Dougal.
202
00:09:34,639 --> 00:09:36,440
Oh, no, no, no, no.
203
00:09:36,559 --> 00:09:38,559
Just been speaking to
Father Ned Fitzmorris.
204
00:09:38,679 --> 00:09:40,440
He tripped on a paving stone,
and one of his kneecaps
205
00:09:40,559 --> 00:09:42,960
fell off.
206
00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,360
There's no way around it.
207
00:09:45,480 --> 00:09:48,840
I'm going to have
to put him in goal.
208
00:09:48,960 --> 00:09:50,519
God, Ted.
209
00:09:50,639 --> 00:09:52,399
I can't wait for tomorrow to get
back into the old physio role
210
00:09:52,519 --> 00:09:53,759
again.
211
00:09:53,879 --> 00:09:54,960
Running onto the pitch
with the magic sponge
212
00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,039
and doing all
physio-type things.
213
00:09:58,159 --> 00:10:02,279
Do you know exactly
what the sponge does?
214
00:10:02,399 --> 00:10:04,000
It soaks up germs.
215
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,879
Dougal, I don't want you
to take this the wrong way,
216
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,960
but I was thinking of a
new role for you this year.
217
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:15,879
Right?
218
00:10:18,720 --> 00:10:22,960
I'd like you to keep
an eye on the corner flag
219
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:25,720
to make sure no one steals them.
220
00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,039
Oh, thank God for that.
221
00:10:27,159 --> 00:10:28,360
I thought you were going
to give me something
222
00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:31,399
completely stupid to do.
223
00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:32,279
Wow.
224
00:10:32,399 --> 00:10:33,600
Watching the corner flags.
225
00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:35,360
Big responsibility.
226
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:36,759
[snoring]
227
00:10:36,879 --> 00:10:39,200
Football, football,
football, football,
228
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:41,919
football, football, football,
football, football, football.
229
00:10:42,039 --> 00:10:44,879
What you men see in
it, I don't know.
230
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:48,840
A load of men kicking a bit
of leather around a field.
231
00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:50,080
You men.
232
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,840
The things you
think are great fun.
233
00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:54,320
Like going to the films.
234
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:57,840
A load of men sitting
around looking at films.
235
00:10:57,960 --> 00:10:59,240
And roller coasters.
236
00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:00,600
A load of men in
a roller coaster
237
00:11:00,720 --> 00:11:04,240
going up and down on
a big metal track.
238
00:11:04,360 --> 00:11:05,840
And sailing.
239
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:09,960
A load of men in a big boat
floating around in the sea.
240
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:11,080
And shouting.
241
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:14,679
A load of men going
around shouting.
242
00:11:14,799 --> 00:11:16,519
And so forth.
243
00:11:16,639 --> 00:11:18,039
Well, Mrs. Doyle.
244
00:11:18,159 --> 00:11:20,159
There's more to
football than you think.
245
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,600
In fact, I got you
a book about it.
246
00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:23,480
Oh.
247
00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:31,000
All right, Father.
248
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:34,120
I'll give it a go.
249
00:11:34,240 --> 00:11:35,480
God, Ted.
250
00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:37,120
Jack's been like that
for a good long time.
251
00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:39,840
He wouldn't be dead
again, would he?
252
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:41,399
Ah, no.
253
00:11:41,519 --> 00:11:43,480
He's probably just dreaming
of his old sporting days.
254
00:11:51,080 --> 00:11:53,440
[giggling]
255
00:11:58,559 --> 00:11:59,399
More water.
256
00:12:13,519 --> 00:12:15,039
Well, today's the day.
257
00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:19,519
Got the hang of it yet, Dougal?
258
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:22,159
It's harder than
you think, Ted.
259
00:12:22,279 --> 00:12:24,600
The trick is to try
and keep your eye on--
260
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:45,279
[screams]
261
00:12:45,399 --> 00:12:47,759
[tv sounds]
262
00:12:58,320 --> 00:13:00,559
Ah, hello, Ted.
263
00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:05,240
I was just eating my breakfast.
264
00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:08,720
Dougal, that's a fib.
265
00:13:08,840 --> 00:13:10,399
What are you really doing?
266
00:13:10,519 --> 00:13:13,799
I-- I've lost the flag, Ted.
267
00:13:13,919 --> 00:13:16,039
I just put it down for a
second, and the next thing,
268
00:13:16,159 --> 00:13:17,639
it was gone.
269
00:13:17,759 --> 00:13:20,000
Oh, Ted, you're going to have
to give me an easier job.
270
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:23,639
It was just too much too soon.
271
00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:26,840
Dougal, look at Father Jack.
272
00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:27,960
Would he give up so easily?
273
00:13:28,080 --> 00:13:29,960
Would he?
274
00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,639
Look at that steely
determination.
275
00:13:32,759 --> 00:13:35,840
That air of defiance.
276
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,559
I've just realized Jack's
been asleep for 14 days.
277
00:13:50,679 --> 00:13:52,240
Oh, my God.
278
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,840
He's drunk an entire
bottle of Dreamy
279
00:13:53,960 --> 00:13:56,519
Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze.
280
00:13:56,639 --> 00:13:58,360
[dramatic music]
281
00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:03,559
Go on, my son.
282
00:14:18,399 --> 00:14:21,360
Well, there he is, Ted.
283
00:14:21,480 --> 00:14:24,279
Father Romeo Sensini.
284
00:14:24,399 --> 00:14:27,279
17 caps with the
Vatican over 75's.
285
00:14:27,399 --> 00:14:28,399
Looks after himself.
286
00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:30,480
Drinks only very,
very fine wine.
287
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:32,759
Can climb two flights
of stairs unassisted.
288
00:14:32,879 --> 00:14:36,279
Needs only one nun to help
him get out of a chair.
289
00:14:36,399 --> 00:14:37,559
You haven't a chance.
290
00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:39,600
That's what you think, Dick.
291
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:42,000
We've put Father Hackett through
a rigorous training schedule.
292
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:43,080
He's never been fitter.
293
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:44,000
Ha.
294
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:57,519
FATHER TED: Father,
Father, please wake up.
295
00:14:57,639 --> 00:14:59,879
But what are we going to do?
296
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:04,080
I can't believe we're in this
completely ludicrous situation.
297
00:15:07,639 --> 00:15:10,000
[motorized wheelchair sound]
298
00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:26,120
God almighty, Mrs. Doyle.
299
00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:29,519
How could you find this
type of thing interesting?
300
00:15:29,639 --> 00:15:30,759
That's what I thought.
301
00:15:30,879 --> 00:15:32,320
Sit down.
302
00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:33,240
Look at this.
303
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,720
Ready?
304
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:40,600
Ready?
305
00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:46,519
[whistle]
306
00:16:19,759 --> 00:16:20,559
Close them down.
307
00:16:20,679 --> 00:16:21,759
Close them down.
308
00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:31,720
Oh, hey.
309
00:16:31,840 --> 00:16:33,480
Have you got me gloves, Sister?
310
00:16:39,159 --> 00:16:40,480
Sensini's got an open goal.
311
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:41,960
If we don't do something
soon, he's going to score
312
00:16:42,080 --> 00:16:43,000
within a matter of minutes.
313
00:17:01,559 --> 00:17:03,080
Oh, where did he come from?
314
00:17:05,960 --> 00:17:08,119
Get rid of it.
315
00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:09,680
Get rid of it.
316
00:17:09,799 --> 00:17:10,599
What?
317
00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:12,599
Turn around.
318
00:17:12,720 --> 00:17:15,599
Concentrate on the game.
319
00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:18,240
Is that Father Crilly?
320
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:19,240
Hello, Father.
321
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,480
Someone's going to have to
get tighter on the Italian.
322
00:17:30,599 --> 00:17:31,839
Go wide.
323
00:17:31,960 --> 00:17:34,079
Go wide.
324
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:36,480
[motorized wheelchair sound]
325
00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:42,200
You're not singing.
326
00:17:42,319 --> 00:17:43,839
You're not singing.
327
00:17:43,960 --> 00:17:46,759
You're not singing anymore.
328
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,680
You're singing any more.
329
00:17:50,799 --> 00:17:51,680
Penalty.
330
00:17:51,799 --> 00:17:55,119
[whistle]
331
00:17:55,240 --> 00:17:56,039
Typical Italian.
332
00:18:05,079 --> 00:18:07,480
[fast heartbeat]
333
00:18:10,079 --> 00:18:12,440
[fast heartbeat]
334
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,599
He sent the keeper
the wrong way.
335
00:18:29,680 --> 00:18:31,039
- Yes.
- Goal.
336
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,039
[whistle]
337
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:34,000
Goal.
338
00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:35,039
Yes.
Yes.
339
00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:35,960
Yes.
340
00:18:38,720 --> 00:18:40,079
All right.
Listen up.
341
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:41,519
Now I know you're tired,
and I know you have
342
00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:42,759
to be back in the home by 8:00.
343
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,960
But just remember one thing.
344
00:18:45,079 --> 00:18:46,519
You are carrying
the whole of Craggy
345
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:48,000
Island on your shoulders.
346
00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:48,960
Metaphor, Jim.
347
00:18:49,079 --> 00:18:50,319
It's just my back, you see.
348
00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:51,319
Jim, it's a metaphor.
349
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:52,480
Didn't mean it literally.
350
00:18:52,599 --> 00:18:53,960
Try not to jump
into the flow here.
351
00:18:54,079 --> 00:18:56,160
Now I want you to go out
there and play the best game
352
00:18:56,279 --> 00:18:58,079
of what remains of your lives.
353
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:01,079
I want you to get Dick Byrne's
team and rip them to shreds.
354
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,599
Metaphor again, Jim.
355
00:19:03,720 --> 00:19:08,359
Now get out there, and
let's lick some ass--
356
00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:09,839
kick some ass.
357
00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:17,799
We're going to win, sir.
358
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:20,559
I think I'm going to want
a souvenir of this game.
359
00:19:20,680 --> 00:19:23,200
Go get me a corner flag.
360
00:19:23,319 --> 00:19:25,319
Go get me a corner flag.
361
00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:26,240
Oh, yes.
362
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:47,640
Got it.
363
00:19:47,759 --> 00:19:48,559
Go.
364
00:19:48,680 --> 00:19:50,240
Go, Father Jack, go.
365
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,240
[crowd cheering]
366
00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:08,680
Yay.
367
00:20:13,279 --> 00:20:15,640
Oh.
368
00:20:15,759 --> 00:20:16,640
You're shit.
369
00:20:16,759 --> 00:20:17,519
Ha.
370
00:20:17,640 --> 00:20:18,640
Ha.
371
00:20:18,759 --> 00:20:20,599
[whistle]
372
00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:41,279
Open goal.
373
00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,240
Go on, Father Collin.
374
00:20:44,359 --> 00:20:45,599
- What?
- No.
375
00:20:45,720 --> 00:20:46,720
Don't look at me.
376
00:20:46,839 --> 00:20:51,079
You only have the
keeper to beat.
377
00:20:51,200 --> 00:20:54,039
[crowd cheering]
378
00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:00,000
[crowd cheering]
379
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:01,000
Yay.
380
00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:02,960
Yes.
381
00:21:03,079 --> 00:21:05,960
I think I've done
something wrong?
382
00:21:06,079 --> 00:21:07,039
[crowd cheering]
383
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,039
Woo.
Woo.
384
00:21:08,160 --> 00:21:08,920
Woo.
385
00:21:09,039 --> 00:21:09,839
Woo.
386
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,400
[whistle]
387
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:35,200
[pop]
388
00:21:35,319 --> 00:21:36,119
Ah.
389
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:41,720
Better luck next year, lads.
390
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:47,519
You lost, Cyril.
391
00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:48,880
Goodbye, Dick.
392
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,160
Goodbye, Cyril.
393
00:21:50,279 --> 00:21:52,319
Can they not stay
and have a drink, Ted?
394
00:21:52,440 --> 00:21:53,599
No.
395
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:55,440
Dick has to go home
and do his forfeit.
396
00:21:55,559 --> 00:21:56,599
The forfeit.
397
00:21:56,720 --> 00:21:57,960
What did you give them, Ted?
398
00:21:58,079 --> 00:22:01,599
Dick, he has to kiss
Cyril on the cheek.
399
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,000
Ha.
400
00:22:03,119 --> 00:22:04,279
Brilliant.
401
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:07,440
Cyril won't have a
clue what's going on.
402
00:22:07,559 --> 00:22:09,160
Dick will hate having
to kiss another man.
403
00:22:09,279 --> 00:22:11,640
He is notoriously homophobic.
404
00:22:11,759 --> 00:22:12,920
Ted, you should have this.
405
00:22:13,039 --> 00:22:14,319
You deserve it.
406
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:15,480
No.
407
00:22:15,599 --> 00:22:17,279
I think we'd better
head on home.
408
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,240
Ah, go on, Ted.
409
00:22:18,359 --> 00:22:19,160
Have a glass.
410
00:22:22,759 --> 00:22:24,079
Wait a second.
411
00:22:28,039 --> 00:22:29,759
These are fake hands.
412
00:22:37,680 --> 00:22:39,359
Got the forfeit, Ted.
413
00:22:39,480 --> 00:22:40,960
Oh, God.
414
00:22:41,079 --> 00:22:42,799
Dick said it was an extra
special forfeit because you are
415
00:22:42,920 --> 00:22:45,680
such a big cheating bastard.
- All right.
416
00:22:45,799 --> 00:22:46,559
Open it.
417
00:22:46,680 --> 00:22:48,319
Open it.
418
00:22:48,440 --> 00:22:49,640
The tension is killing me.
419
00:22:49,759 --> 00:22:51,160
Ah, don't worry, Ted.
420
00:22:51,279 --> 00:22:53,039
He probably just wants you
to clean his car or some--
421
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:54,359
What is it?
422
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,720
Break It to me gently.
423
00:22:55,839 --> 00:22:57,039
All right.
424
00:22:57,160 --> 00:23:00,880
Ted, by this time next
week, you have to--
425
00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:01,759
What?
426
00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:02,680
You have to--
427
00:23:05,079 --> 00:23:08,359
Kick Bishop
Brennan up the arse.
428
00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:09,240
[crash]
429
00:23:15,079 --> 00:23:17,720
[music playing]
28041
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