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1
00:00:02,863 --> 00:00:04,913
- What is this?
- It's Arnold.
2
00:00:04,996 --> 00:00:06,871
I think he was out with
Mary Johnson again last night.
3
00:00:06,954 --> 00:00:09,047
Here's $15 for last night.
4
00:00:09,130 --> 00:00:12,459
Hey, that's not bad
considering we started so late.
5
00:00:14,571 --> 00:00:17,491
We've been together here for
four, five nights in a row now.
6
00:00:17,574 --> 00:00:18,927
We have a lot to get done.
7
00:00:19,010 --> 00:00:20,929
It's almost as if
we was going steady.
8
00:00:21,012 --> 00:00:23,236
For your information,
I've been going steady with you
9
00:00:23,319 --> 00:00:25,168
for sometime now.
10
00:00:28,759 --> 00:00:31,739
How come I'm always
the last to know?
11
00:00:32,809 --> 00:00:35,373
Oh, Arnold, I love you.
12
00:00:35,456 --> 00:00:37,545
But why am I being transferred?
13
00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:40,516
Arnold, your mother says
your new father's Swifty
14
00:00:40,584 --> 00:00:43,434
wants you all to live
in his motorhome...
15
00:00:44,651 --> 00:00:46,751
...behind the casino.
16
00:00:47,355 --> 00:00:50,137
Do you mean to say that me,
my brother and my sisters
17
00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:51,921
are all gonna
have to leave Brooklyn?
18
00:00:51,921 --> 00:00:54,021
Isn't that wonderful?
19
00:00:54,927 --> 00:00:57,049
I can't do that.
I'm not gonna leave.
20
00:00:57,132 --> 00:01:00,652
"And Napoleon died on the
small island of Saint Helena
21
00:01:00,735 --> 00:01:01,854
in the year 1821."
22
00:01:01,937 --> 00:01:07,040
Does anybody have any questions
for Mary on her report?
23
00:01:07,321 --> 00:01:09,780
Was Napoleon happy
in Saint Helena?
24
00:01:09,863 --> 00:01:12,325
He was probably very unhappy
25
00:01:12,325 --> 00:01:14,184
because he didn't
wanna be there.
26
00:01:14,267 --> 00:01:17,069
Maybe he just didn't
try hard enough
27
00:01:17,069 --> 00:01:18,810
to stay where he wanted to be.
28
00:01:18,871 --> 00:01:21,250
But he must have known that
I didn't want him to go away.
29
00:01:21,333 --> 00:01:23,865
Have you guys got the same
book everybody else has?
30
00:01:23,866 --> 00:01:26,286
- I can't find it.
- Yeah, in mine neither.
31
00:01:26,286 --> 00:01:31,042
What would Napoleon do
if he didn't go Atlantic City?
32
00:01:31,043 --> 00:01:35,421
Certain things Napoleon
has to figure out for himself.
33
00:01:35,421 --> 00:01:38,685
I have one last question
for you, Mary Johnson.
34
00:01:38,686 --> 00:01:40,405
Yes, Your Highness?
35
00:01:42,638 --> 00:01:44,952
Will you marry me?
36
00:01:45,035 --> 00:01:46,035
Yes.
37
00:01:46,118 --> 00:01:47,558
- Alright!
- I can't believe it!
38
00:01:47,641 --> 00:01:49,734
[all cheering]
39
00:01:49,817 --> 00:01:53,102
[theme song]
40
00:02:01,916 --> 00:02:04,488
♪ Welcome back ♪
41
00:02:04,571 --> 00:02:07,290
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
42
00:02:08,314 --> 00:02:10,320
♪ Welcome back ♪
43
00:02:10,403 --> 00:02:12,539
♪ To that same old place ♪
44
00:02:12,622 --> 00:02:15,324
♪ That you laughed about ♪
45
00:02:15,407 --> 00:02:17,457
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
46
00:02:17,540 --> 00:02:19,806
♪ Since you hung around ♪
47
00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:24,247
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
48
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:26,858
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
49
00:02:26,941 --> 00:02:28,247
♪ Who'd have thought they'd
lead ya? ♪
50
00:02:28,296 --> 00:02:30,171
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
51
00:02:30,254 --> 00:02:32,304
♪Back here
where we need ya ♪
52
00:02:32,387 --> 00:02:34,306
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
53
00:02:34,389 --> 00:02:36,524
♪'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
54
00:02:36,607 --> 00:02:38,527
♪ Welcome back ♪
55
00:02:38,610 --> 00:02:43,054
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
56
00:02:43,137 --> 00:02:45,143
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
57
00:02:45,226 --> 00:02:47,449
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
58
00:02:47,532 --> 00:02:49,582
♪'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
59
00:02:49,665 --> 00:02:51,758
♪ Welcome back ♪
60
00:02:51,841 --> 00:02:56,154
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
61
00:02:56,237 --> 00:03:00,548
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
62
00:03:00,631 --> 00:03:05,724
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪♪
63
00:03:10,175 --> 00:03:12,570
- Hey, any sign of Horshack yet?
- No.
64
00:03:12,653 --> 00:03:14,773
You know, man, I-I really hope
that Arnold ain't chickenin' out
65
00:03:14,856 --> 00:03:16,454
to come to his own
bachelor party.
66
00:03:16,537 --> 00:03:18,438
Here he comes! Here he comes!
67
00:03:18,521 --> 00:03:19,739
- Alright, alright, come on.
- Hey, here he comes.
68
00:03:19,739 --> 00:03:21,432
Come on, Juan.
Juan, you get ready.
69
00:03:21,433 --> 00:03:22,641
- Do we have to go through this?
- Come on, get ready. Come on.
70
00:03:22,642 --> 00:03:24,270
- Come on, just do it.
- Now you get in.
71
00:03:24,353 --> 00:03:25,922
- Come on.
- Get inside!
72
00:03:26,026 --> 00:03:28,659
- You can do it!
- I got you.
73
00:03:31,808 --> 00:03:33,268
Alright.
74
00:03:33,862 --> 00:03:35,266
What is this stuff, anyway, man?
75
00:03:35,349 --> 00:03:38,211
Imitation wild cherry soda...
76
00:03:38,294 --> 00:03:39,828
...with garlic and olive oil.
77
00:03:39,911 --> 00:03:41,716
[spits]
78
00:03:41,799 --> 00:03:44,301
You know, it was
Vinnie's spaghetti pot.
79
00:03:44,384 --> 00:03:45,645
It's the only thing
I could find.
80
00:03:45,727 --> 00:03:47,820
[knock on door]
81
00:03:47,903 --> 00:03:50,930
- Anybody at home?
- That's it, that's it.
82
00:03:51,013 --> 00:03:52,413
Come on in, it's time
for your bachelor party.
83
00:03:52,496 --> 00:03:53,956
Huh? Ah!
84
00:03:54,826 --> 00:03:57,391
Where, where is Juan and Vinnie?
85
00:03:57,474 --> 00:03:58,295
Uh, Juan will be here
in a minute
86
00:03:58,295 --> 00:03:59,695
and Vinnie called,
said he has to work late.
87
00:03:59,695 --> 00:04:01,237
Yeah, but forget
about them, Arnold
88
00:04:01,239 --> 00:04:02,301
'cause today is your day.
89
00:04:02,301 --> 00:04:04,382
You get a good grip
on that punch, alright!
90
00:04:04,465 --> 00:04:06,865
Arnold, here's to you.
91
00:04:06,948 --> 00:04:08,508
May you do better
on your honeymoon
92
00:04:08,591 --> 00:04:11,053
than you did in algebra.
93
00:04:14,473 --> 00:04:17,366
[groans]
94
00:04:21,311 --> 00:04:23,814
This cherry soda is great.
95
00:04:25,378 --> 00:04:28,010
Needs a little more garlic.
96
00:04:28,543 --> 00:04:30,862
Anyway, Arnold,
soon you're gonna be married
97
00:04:30,945 --> 00:04:34,327
so that doesn't leave much time
to have some fun.
98
00:04:34,410 --> 00:04:36,189
Oh, yeah, Arnold,
you see, you know, um
99
00:04:36,272 --> 00:04:38,215
we figured that, um,
that we was gonna provide you
100
00:04:38,215 --> 00:04:41,436
with some female companionship
on your last days of freedom.
101
00:04:41,519 --> 00:04:45,088
So we took the liberty to borrow
your little black book.
102
00:04:45,171 --> 00:04:47,193
We're gonna call up a couple
of your old girlfriends.
103
00:04:47,246 --> 00:04:49,666
There were only
two numbers in there.
104
00:04:50,338 --> 00:04:54,520
Yeah, man, one was, um,
thumb suckers' hotline.
105
00:04:54,603 --> 00:04:57,506
The other one was an emergency
night light service.
106
00:04:59,145 --> 00:05:00,907
Oh, I get it!
107
00:05:00,990 --> 00:05:04,715
This is just like, uh,
Arnold Horshack roast!
108
00:05:04,798 --> 00:05:06,300
I love it.
109
00:05:06,337 --> 00:05:08,219
I don't know if we're gonna
roast you, Arnold.
110
00:05:08,219 --> 00:05:10,942
But we got something here that's
gonna get your blood boiling.
111
00:05:10,942 --> 00:05:14,457
- Yeah?
- Ooh, yeah, boy.
112
00:05:14,540 --> 00:05:15,758
- Don't worry about it.
- I'm okay.
113
00:05:15,842 --> 00:05:17,964
- We got you.
- Ah.
114
00:05:19,628 --> 00:05:22,116
Okay, stand by
and hit that music.
115
00:05:22,199 --> 00:05:25,084
Here, Arnold Horshack,
the incredible, the lovely
116
00:05:25,166 --> 00:05:28,092
the stupendous,
the bombshell of Brooklyn
117
00:05:28,175 --> 00:05:29,606
Miss Juanita.
118
00:05:29,690 --> 00:05:31,150
♪♪
119
00:05:38,613 --> 00:05:41,332
[laughs]
120
00:06:05,632 --> 00:06:07,092
♪♪
121
00:06:28,378 --> 00:06:31,098
Oh, this is so funny!
122
00:06:31,681 --> 00:06:34,126
Did you guys think this up?
123
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:35,709
We just thought we'd have
a few laughs, you know?
124
00:06:35,710 --> 00:06:37,345
This is the last time
we're gonna all
125
00:06:37,428 --> 00:06:39,897
all be bachelors together,
you know?
126
00:06:39,897 --> 00:06:42,595
Yeah, you know, after six months
of marriage to you
127
00:06:42,678 --> 00:06:46,243
I-I think Mary will be on
Easy Street scrubbing bricks.
128
00:06:46,243 --> 00:06:48,286
[laughing]
129
00:06:48,369 --> 00:06:49,892
I can take care of Mary.
130
00:06:49,948 --> 00:06:51,868
Sure, you can buy her
a new bucket every month.
131
00:06:51,868 --> 00:06:53,700
[Freddie laughs]
132
00:06:53,783 --> 00:06:55,655
Listen, Mary and I
got big plans.
133
00:06:55,738 --> 00:06:57,957
Oh, yeah,
my sister had big plans
134
00:06:58,007 --> 00:07:00,008
when she got married
in high school.
135
00:07:00,029 --> 00:07:01,529
It was a good thing
her husband has a car
136
00:07:01,529 --> 00:07:03,632
'cause now they're livin' in it.
137
00:07:04,693 --> 00:07:08,274
Mary and I got a nice place
to live, we got a good job
138
00:07:08,357 --> 00:07:10,399
and Mary's very good
around the house.
139
00:07:10,399 --> 00:07:12,935
Yeah, uh-huh,
but, uh, can she cook?
140
00:07:13,018 --> 00:07:13,819
Yeah, sure.
141
00:07:13,902 --> 00:07:18,164
Yeah, uh-huh, but can
she cook without food?
142
00:07:19,682 --> 00:07:21,597
Yeah, we'll see how good she
can cook when she has to boil
143
00:07:21,664 --> 00:07:23,706
the same chicken
three days in a row.
144
00:07:23,789 --> 00:07:25,345
[laughing]
145
00:07:25,428 --> 00:07:26,766
Hey, come here, Juan,
you be the chick.
146
00:07:26,849 --> 00:07:28,489
- Alright, alright.
- Come here.
147
00:07:28,572 --> 00:07:31,672
I'm you, Arnold, right?
Check it out.
148
00:07:31,672 --> 00:07:33,140
[imitates a knock]
149
00:07:33,176 --> 00:07:37,077
Hello, Mary, I'm home.
150
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:40,461
- You bring any food?
- No-o-o.
151
00:07:40,544 --> 00:07:43,126
But I brought you my heart.
152
00:07:43,406 --> 00:07:46,454
Throw it in the pot.
It's the chicken's day off.
153
00:07:46,455 --> 00:07:48,893
[laughing]
154
00:07:51,810 --> 00:07:53,990
Do you mean to tell me
that Juan really
155
00:07:54,073 --> 00:07:56,656
dressed up like a girl
at Arnold's party?
156
00:07:56,697 --> 00:07:57,999
Yeah, you should have
seen him. Worst mud.
157
00:07:57,999 --> 00:08:00,603
Yeah, yeah, I make a
real good-looking girl.
158
00:08:00,603 --> 00:08:01,463
Yeah, I don't doubt it.
159
00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:04,901
Three sailors came to our house
looking for you last night.
160
00:08:05,488 --> 00:08:06,750
What's going on here?
161
00:08:06,833 --> 00:08:07,921
Oh, the guys
were just telling us
162
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,277
about Arnold's,
uh, bachelor party.
163
00:08:10,338 --> 00:08:12,470
Well, I hope somebody told him
what a mistake it is
164
00:08:12,481 --> 00:08:14,902
getting married
while he's still in school.
165
00:08:14,985 --> 00:08:16,367
I'd tell him,
but in his condition
166
00:08:16,367 --> 00:08:19,710
it's like telling Billy Carter
to keep his mouth shut.
167
00:08:21,090 --> 00:08:23,863
Where is Arnold now? Home
cramming for his blood test?
168
00:08:23,946 --> 00:08:25,708
[laughs]
169
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,683
Mr. Woodman,
why are you so cruel?
170
00:08:30,766 --> 00:08:31,744
After all,
they said they'll name
171
00:08:31,827 --> 00:08:33,390
their first child after you.
172
00:08:33,390 --> 00:08:35,931
Well, I wouldn't mind.
That kid's gonna be famous.
173
00:08:36,014 --> 00:08:38,493
That will be the first Horshack
born in captivity.
174
00:08:38,549 --> 00:08:41,481
[laughs]
175
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,523
He's just jealous.
I'll see you later.
176
00:08:43,606 --> 00:08:46,223
See you later.
177
00:08:46,306 --> 00:08:49,469
Well, uh, gentlemen, are you
gonna come inside and join me
178
00:08:49,469 --> 00:08:52,647
or do you expect the knowledge
to seep out under the door?
179
00:08:52,712 --> 00:08:54,531
Not me, if-if I go in
before the bell rings
180
00:08:54,614 --> 00:08:56,449
I get a nose bleed.
181
00:08:57,393 --> 00:08:59,636
Hey, yo, Mary, Mary, Mary.
182
00:08:59,719 --> 00:09:01,199
Did you hear
about that bachelor party
183
00:09:01,220 --> 00:09:03,961
that we did for
Arnold yesterday?
184
00:09:04,044 --> 00:09:06,382
- Arnold's gone.
- What do you mean gone?
185
00:09:06,425 --> 00:09:08,404
- We saw him last night.
- What are you talking about?
186
00:09:08,487 --> 00:09:10,095
He just left.
187
00:09:10,178 --> 00:09:12,528
I don't know
what happened to him.
188
00:09:12,611 --> 00:09:14,249
Did he say anything
before he split?
189
00:09:14,332 --> 00:09:16,313
He left a note.
190
00:09:16,738 --> 00:09:19,620
But I don't understand
any of it.
191
00:09:20,139 --> 00:09:21,705
[clears throat]
192
00:09:21,788 --> 00:09:25,291
"Dear Mary, I'll be back
when I can take care of you.
193
00:09:25,374 --> 00:09:27,474
"I don't want...
194
00:09:27,779 --> 00:09:30,682
"I-I don't, I don't want you
scrubbing bricks.
195
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:33,534
"I don't want you cookin'
without food.
196
00:09:35,173 --> 00:09:38,576
No chicken should be
boiled more than once."
197
00:09:42,339 --> 00:09:45,164
Mary, did, did Arnold leave any
kind of clues around at all?
198
00:09:45,247 --> 00:09:47,331
Yeah, look, Mary, um,
you mind if we check around
199
00:09:47,331 --> 00:09:49,031
I mean, if we look around
the place and stuff like that?
200
00:09:49,031 --> 00:09:51,255
We might find something that can
be a clue to help us find--
201
00:09:51,256 --> 00:09:52,154
- Sure, go ahead.
- Yeah.
202
00:09:52,155 --> 00:09:53,722
You know, in a case like this,
you never can tell.
203
00:09:53,723 --> 00:09:55,897
We might be able to find
a, a-a road map
204
00:09:55,898 --> 00:09:58,074
or a bus ticket
or a suicide note--
205
00:09:58,126 --> 00:09:59,586
Shh.
206
00:10:00,004 --> 00:10:03,399
He couldn't have gone far.
He only had about 50 cents.
207
00:10:03,482 --> 00:10:04,973
Oh, come on, Mary, look.
208
00:10:05,035 --> 00:10:06,955
In my day, I'd go all the way
to Coney Island
209
00:10:07,038 --> 00:10:09,482
have a real good time
for less than 50 cents.
210
00:10:09,482 --> 00:10:12,385
Yeah, but you were traveling
with an organ grinder.
211
00:10:14,527 --> 00:10:16,370
We-we can stop lookin'.
Check it out.
212
00:10:16,453 --> 00:10:18,252
- What you got, Freddie?
- Look at this.
213
00:10:18,335 --> 00:10:20,539
You see where this newspaper
was opened up to, right?
214
00:10:20,539 --> 00:10:23,240
Well, obviously Arnold was gonna
check out one of these ads.
215
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:26,925
Freddie, I think you put your
finger on it right over there.
216
00:10:27,008 --> 00:10:30,672
Arnold Horshack has gone
and joined the marines.
217
00:10:32,034 --> 00:10:35,579
Excuse me, uh, I'm lookin'
for a friend of mine.
218
00:10:37,922 --> 00:10:40,600
You're looking for
a friend of yours, what?
219
00:10:40,683 --> 00:10:42,285
I'm looking for
a friend of mine, Arnold.
220
00:10:42,368 --> 00:10:44,689
I'm looking for
a friend of mine, sir!
221
00:10:44,772 --> 00:10:46,711
Oh, you too?
222
00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:49,163
Well, maybe we could
just look together.
223
00:10:53,593 --> 00:10:55,442
[knocks on door]
224
00:10:58,891 --> 00:11:00,973
Hey, man, what's happenin'?
What's happenin'?
225
00:11:01,056 --> 00:11:03,296
Is this the place
where you hirin' them peoples
226
00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:05,023
to go work in the...
227
00:11:05,024 --> 00:11:07,940
Can't you read, kid?
Sign says men wanted.
228
00:11:08,023 --> 00:11:09,523
Yeah, I can see there's...
Wait-wait-wait a minute.
229
00:11:09,524 --> 00:11:11,629
- Just-just-just hold on, man!
- Hey, look, junior.
230
00:11:11,629 --> 00:11:14,023
Just come back when you grow up.
231
00:11:14,024 --> 00:11:15,407
Hey, look, man,
I'm talking to you, babe.
232
00:11:15,407 --> 00:11:19,646
You think you bad? You won't say
that in front of my face, uh...
233
00:11:20,994 --> 00:11:23,140
Yeah, uh, um, I ain't
looking for the job for me.
234
00:11:23,140 --> 00:11:24,844
You see, uh, I was looking
for a good friend of mine.
235
00:11:24,864 --> 00:11:26,546
- A real good friend of mine.
- A friend of yours?
236
00:11:26,629 --> 00:11:27,909
Right.
237
00:11:27,992 --> 00:11:31,319
Well, uh, why don't you check
under some of these rocks?
238
00:11:31,320 --> 00:11:33,469
[laughs]
239
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:40,276
Your mama lives
under one of them rocks!
240
00:11:41,905 --> 00:11:43,928
[screams]
241
00:11:45,506 --> 00:11:47,769
You know, it says you're really
great at finding missing people.
242
00:11:47,852 --> 00:11:51,875
My friend, I am the best in the
world, okay? Please have a seat.
243
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:55,335
You'll find anybody anywhere for
$25? You're really that good?
244
00:11:55,418 --> 00:11:58,558
Would you like to see a list
of the people I have found?
245
00:11:58,641 --> 00:12:00,443
- Would it make you feel better?
- Sure.
246
00:12:00,443 --> 00:12:03,860
It would? Because I don't mind.
Normally, I would not do this.
247
00:12:03,943 --> 00:12:07,646
For you, I don't,
I don't mind, okay?
248
00:12:07,729 --> 00:12:10,552
But it's around here.
It is definitely around here.
249
00:12:10,612 --> 00:12:12,994
I will find it later, alright?
250
00:12:13,014 --> 00:12:17,106
Now, who is it exactly
that you are looking for?
251
00:12:17,158 --> 00:12:19,823
- His name is Arnold Horshack.
- This is important.
252
00:12:19,843 --> 00:12:24,281
I must write this down.
All I need is a pencil.
253
00:12:24,350 --> 00:12:30,095
Just a pencil to write this down
and we're on our way.
254
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,820
Now...
255
00:12:32,299 --> 00:12:34,444
...I don't have
to write it down.
256
00:12:34,527 --> 00:12:38,071
I have a mind like a steel trap.
257
00:12:39,138 --> 00:12:41,778
But first, what I must do
is call the airports
258
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:44,345
the bus terminals and so on.
259
00:12:44,365 --> 00:12:48,434
Now I have these numbers
in my telephone book.
260
00:12:51,341 --> 00:12:55,410
I'd find it...
Well, I have it here, I...
261
00:12:56,419 --> 00:12:59,530
[mumbling]
262
00:13:02,506 --> 00:13:05,391
I will call information.
263
00:13:05,474 --> 00:13:10,395
You wouldn't happen to have
a telephone on you, would you?
264
00:13:10,477 --> 00:13:13,959
I'm joking. I'm joking.
I know for a second there...
265
00:13:14,042 --> 00:13:16,485
Sometimes I do these things.
I'm sorry.
266
00:13:16,568 --> 00:13:17,583
- I'm leaving.
- No, no, no, please.
267
00:13:17,584 --> 00:13:19,885
I have a phone.
I remember I got the bill.
268
00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:23,193
I remember,
oh, I know I have a phone
269
00:13:23,193 --> 00:13:25,495
and it is around here some...
270
00:13:25,496 --> 00:13:29,107
Well, well, well, well,
low and behold.
271
00:13:29,108 --> 00:13:32,719
Here I found that list of people
I was telling you about.
272
00:13:32,802 --> 00:13:35,425
No, this is not
the list of those people.
273
00:13:35,425 --> 00:13:36,887
These are the list of the people
274
00:13:36,887 --> 00:13:40,629
that are coming
to my birthday party...
275
00:13:42,048 --> 00:13:44,109
...last night.
276
00:13:46,631 --> 00:13:48,434
Look, I can see
you're all upset and everything.
277
00:13:48,517 --> 00:13:49,717
I'm gonna go ahead
and get going--
278
00:13:49,718 --> 00:13:51,014
But first, I insist
279
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,542
for coming here and your trouble
280
00:13:52,562 --> 00:13:54,401
I want you to have a card
281
00:13:54,484 --> 00:13:59,010
and I want you to feel free
to call me anytime.
282
00:13:59,050 --> 00:14:02,030
I think I've got your number.
283
00:14:02,113 --> 00:14:05,017
You do? Would you
give it to me, please?
284
00:14:06,626 --> 00:14:09,972
Thank you,
this is very handy to have.
285
00:14:10,054 --> 00:14:12,403
Young man, young man,
I want to thank you
286
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,202
for coming in
and seeing me today.
287
00:14:14,285 --> 00:14:15,906
Whenever you are
in the neighborhood
288
00:14:15,989 --> 00:14:19,414
9:00 to 5:00,
the door is always open.
289
00:14:22,024 --> 00:14:24,178
May I help you?
290
00:14:29,295 --> 00:14:31,257
Hey, look, Mary,
um, we're sorry, man.
291
00:14:31,340 --> 00:14:33,363
We checked everywhere
and-and we couldn't find...
292
00:14:33,383 --> 00:14:34,583
- Ain't that right, y'all?
- Yeah, we did.
293
00:14:34,583 --> 00:14:36,934
Don't worry, guys,
it wasn't your fault.
294
00:14:37,017 --> 00:14:39,411
- Yes, it was.
- What do you mean?
295
00:14:39,470 --> 00:14:42,342
- We did somethin' very rotten.
- What?
296
00:14:42,354 --> 00:14:44,735
Remember, we had that
bachelor party and everything?
297
00:14:44,818 --> 00:14:46,959
Well, we just kind
of kidded Arnold
298
00:14:46,959 --> 00:14:49,162
about how bad marriage is.
299
00:14:49,182 --> 00:14:50,924
Yeah, you know,
we-we're just kidders, Mary.
300
00:14:50,944 --> 00:14:52,386
It just rolls off
our back, you know?
301
00:14:52,386 --> 00:14:54,188
- Just foolin' around, yeah.
- I kid Epstein about his lock.
302
00:14:54,208 --> 00:14:55,731
I kid Freddie about
his lousy basketball.
303
00:14:55,750 --> 00:14:57,712
- We do it all the time--
- Will you stop it?
304
00:14:57,712 --> 00:15:00,631
And tell me what happened?
305
00:15:01,026 --> 00:15:03,832
Look, Mary, um, we found out
that there's some things
306
00:15:03,915 --> 00:15:06,480
that you just don't kid about,
you know?
307
00:15:06,563 --> 00:15:08,023
Like marriage.
308
00:15:08,208 --> 00:15:12,233
Or funerals or executions or...
309
00:15:12,903 --> 00:15:15,045
...or leprosy.
310
00:15:18,434 --> 00:15:20,995
So that's what Arnold was
talking about in that note.
311
00:15:21,078 --> 00:15:23,501
The jokes you were
playing on him.
312
00:15:23,501 --> 00:15:25,681
Didn't you realize
that Arnold was sensitive
313
00:15:25,764 --> 00:15:27,003
about all these things?
314
00:15:27,086 --> 00:15:29,105
Look, Mary,
we just weren't thinkin'.
315
00:15:29,188 --> 00:15:32,150
Yeah, sometimes
we're good at that.
316
00:15:32,233 --> 00:15:35,197
Hey, look, Mary, we didn't
wanna foul things up.
317
00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,876
Oh, we was gonna throw you
the biggest party
318
00:15:36,959 --> 00:15:39,330
that-that Brooklyn's ever seen.
319
00:15:41,665 --> 00:15:43,845
Is this where the paper was
open to when you found it?
320
00:15:43,928 --> 00:15:45,843
Yeah, we checked
every possible lead.
321
00:15:45,851 --> 00:15:48,152
But, but how about this page?
322
00:15:48,514 --> 00:15:51,495
Oh, Mary, that's just
a bunch of movie ads.
323
00:15:51,578 --> 00:15:56,441
Go ahead with the wedding plans.
I think I know where he is.
324
00:16:00,341 --> 00:16:01,801
Hijackings.
325
00:16:03,805 --> 00:16:05,265
Thank God.
326
00:16:07,505 --> 00:16:08,956
♪♪
327
00:16:09,039 --> 00:16:10,757
[woman on screen] Heathcliff?
328
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,300
Arnold?
329
00:16:13,384 --> 00:16:14,821
[woman on screen] Heathcliff?
330
00:16:14,904 --> 00:16:16,404
Arnold?
331
00:16:17,698 --> 00:16:18,698
- Mary.
- Arnold!
332
00:16:18,781 --> 00:16:20,858
Will you shut up?
333
00:16:20,941 --> 00:16:24,226
Arnold, why did you run away?
334
00:16:24,309 --> 00:16:27,290
Because the guys were right.
Popcorn?
335
00:16:29,177 --> 00:16:31,518
If I married you...
336
00:16:31,601 --> 00:16:33,721
...you'd be scrubbing floors
for the rest of your life
337
00:16:33,804 --> 00:16:35,527
tryin' to make ends meet.
338
00:16:35,547 --> 00:16:38,769
Arnold, the guys
were only kidding you.
339
00:16:38,852 --> 00:16:42,996
Right now, they're out planning
a beautiful wedding for us.
340
00:16:45,410 --> 00:16:46,469
They're really?
341
00:16:46,552 --> 00:16:50,114
They're the best friends
anybody could ask for.
342
00:16:50,918 --> 00:16:53,419
- Yeah, but I still can't--
- Shh.
343
00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:58,786
I still can't give you
all the things you need, Mary.
344
00:16:58,869 --> 00:17:02,691
Do you think I expect you
to give me things?
345
00:17:02,774 --> 00:17:04,234
Well, sure.
346
00:17:04,997 --> 00:17:07,737
If I'm your husband,
I'm supposed to provide for you.
347
00:17:07,821 --> 00:17:09,523
What am I supposed to do,
sit out in the porch
348
00:17:09,523 --> 00:17:11,805
and count bald eagles?
349
00:17:13,346 --> 00:17:14,806
- What?
- Arnold!
350
00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:19,792
You're not supposed
to give me anything.
351
00:17:19,875 --> 00:17:22,856
We're gonna work
for everything we need...
352
00:17:24,161 --> 00:17:25,621
...together.
353
00:17:27,341 --> 00:17:28,443
No, the guys were right.
354
00:17:28,526 --> 00:17:31,246
This marriage is
gonna be a big mistake.
355
00:17:31,330 --> 00:17:35,658
I know Mrs. Horshack can handle
any problems that come along.
356
00:17:36,696 --> 00:17:38,978
How about Mr. Horshack?
357
00:17:39,461 --> 00:17:40,921
Well, sure.
358
00:17:42,530 --> 00:17:47,057
As long as he has
Mrs. Horshack by his side.
359
00:17:47,821 --> 00:17:49,884
He will, Arnold.
360
00:17:50,398 --> 00:17:51,858
♪♪
361
00:17:55,059 --> 00:17:58,605
You know somethin'?
You are terrific.
362
00:18:05,566 --> 00:18:07,371
[indistinct chatter]
363
00:18:09,918 --> 00:18:13,400
Hey, Mr. Woodman,
what's happenin'? Alright!
364
00:18:13,483 --> 00:18:15,707
Hey, good to see you.
What are you doing here?
365
00:18:15,730 --> 00:18:17,512
Well, I've never seen
a Sweathog get married
366
00:18:17,512 --> 00:18:18,786
and I love freak shows.
367
00:18:18,868 --> 00:18:20,918
[laughs]
368
00:18:21,001 --> 00:18:22,471
- Hey, Mrs. Kotter.
- Hi, Freddie.
369
00:18:22,554 --> 00:18:24,256
- Hey, yo, Mrs. Kotter!
- How you doing?
370
00:18:24,339 --> 00:18:26,143
[indistinct chatter]
371
00:18:27,682 --> 00:18:29,802
Will you, uh, put this
with the bride's presents?
372
00:18:29,885 --> 00:18:32,467
- Uh, no problem.
- Uh, this too. Don't break it!
373
00:18:32,467 --> 00:18:33,849
Yeah, be very careful
with that, Freddie.
374
00:18:33,849 --> 00:18:37,286
It's hard to replace things
you get out of cereal boxes.
375
00:18:38,590 --> 00:18:40,311
Gosh, there sure are
a lot of flowers.
376
00:18:40,395 --> 00:18:42,415
- Where'd you get them all?
- I don't know.
377
00:18:42,498 --> 00:18:44,608
Epstein was in charge of that.
378
00:18:50,125 --> 00:18:52,761
What do you think
of this one here?
379
00:18:54,978 --> 00:18:56,881
- Is Arnold ready?
- Almost.
380
00:18:56,965 --> 00:18:58,184
We're waitin' for him
to stop shakin'
381
00:18:58,207 --> 00:19:00,010
so we can button his shirt.
382
00:19:00,010 --> 00:19:02,551
Oh, the poor kid.
Honey, why don't you go inside
383
00:19:02,634 --> 00:19:05,455
and have a little talk with him?
Maybe you can calm him down.
384
00:19:05,518 --> 00:19:07,477
My talks always
put him to sleep.
385
00:19:07,561 --> 00:19:09,863
[laughs] That's really calmed down.
386
00:19:10,684 --> 00:19:14,569
I'll talk to him.
387
00:19:14,652 --> 00:19:18,728
Here we go, Arnold. You're
kind of nervous, aren't you?
388
00:19:18,811 --> 00:19:21,119
Arnold, when I got married,
I was so nervous
389
00:19:21,202 --> 00:19:24,639
when I said I do,
it had 15 syllables in it.
390
00:19:25,305 --> 00:19:28,613
You know, generally, I don't
believe in teenage marriages.
391
00:19:28,696 --> 00:19:30,637
But I'll tell you something
I do believe in.
392
00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:33,099
I believe in love.
393
00:19:33,182 --> 00:19:34,981
Look, Arnold,
you and Mary love each other
394
00:19:35,064 --> 00:19:37,175
and everything's gonna be okay.
395
00:19:38,628 --> 00:19:40,265
Arnold, what's the matter
with you?
396
00:19:40,349 --> 00:19:42,763
You tied my tie too tight.
397
00:19:43,868 --> 00:19:45,542
[indistinct]
398
00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:49,351
Hey, they're all set, Juan.
Start the music.
399
00:19:49,434 --> 00:19:50,894
- Sure.
- Alright.
400
00:19:54,754 --> 00:19:56,851
Mr. Music, if you please!
401
00:19:56,851 --> 00:19:58,311
♪♪
402
00:20:29,486 --> 00:20:30,946
♪♪
403
00:20:45,383 --> 00:20:49,004
Juan, didn't you,
uh, get a minister?
404
00:20:49,287 --> 00:20:50,507
Mr. Reverend.
405
00:20:50,507 --> 00:20:51,967
♪♪
406
00:21:04,249 --> 00:21:06,530
Dearly beloved,
we have gathered here
407
00:21:06,613 --> 00:21:09,875
to join these two people
in matrimony.
408
00:21:11,074 --> 00:21:13,958
If there is anyone here
who can show just cause
409
00:21:13,958 --> 00:21:16,678
why these two should
not be joined together
410
00:21:16,762 --> 00:21:20,744
let him speak now
or forever hold his peace.
411
00:21:22,751 --> 00:21:25,580
Do you, Mary, take Arnold
412
00:21:25,635 --> 00:21:29,118
to be your lawfully
wedded husband?
413
00:21:30,843 --> 00:21:32,303
I do.
414
00:21:34,288 --> 00:21:36,048
Do you, Arnold, take Mary
415
00:21:36,131 --> 00:21:39,013
to be your lawfully
wedded wife?
416
00:21:42,091 --> 00:21:43,551
I do.
417
00:21:45,763 --> 00:21:47,948
- The ring, please.
- Oh.
418
00:21:49,567 --> 00:21:51,285
[clears throat]
419
00:21:52,095 --> 00:21:53,415
Ring?
420
00:21:53,498 --> 00:21:55,240
- Ring.
- Ring!
421
00:21:55,381 --> 00:21:56,841
You rang?
422
00:22:02,353 --> 00:22:04,159
Here it is.
423
00:22:05,659 --> 00:22:08,116
Place the ring on her finger.
424
00:22:20,998 --> 00:22:24,774
By the power vested in me
by the state of New York
425
00:22:24,858 --> 00:22:27,578
and Musicians Local 802...
426
00:22:28,580 --> 00:22:31,888
...I now pronounce
you man and wife.
427
00:22:31,971 --> 00:22:34,432
Now you may kiss the bride.
428
00:22:36,506 --> 00:22:38,572
[all cheering]
429
00:22:39,030 --> 00:22:40,490
♪♪
430
00:22:51,522 --> 00:22:53,563
Well, Mrs. Horshack...
431
00:22:54,186 --> 00:22:56,348
...I guess it's just you and me
432
00:22:56,431 --> 00:22:58,531
forever and ever.
433
00:22:58,655 --> 00:23:02,376
That's right, Mr. Horshack.
Forever.
434
00:23:04,785 --> 00:23:06,885
- And ever.
- And ever.
435
00:23:07,871 --> 00:23:11,174
And ever.
So what's for dinner?
436
00:23:20,731 --> 00:23:23,494
[theme song]
437
00:23:27,955 --> 00:23:30,700
♪ Welcome back ♪
438
00:23:30,783 --> 00:23:34,356
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
439
00:23:34,439 --> 00:23:36,663
♪ Welcome back ♪
440
00:23:36,746 --> 00:23:38,708
♪ To that same old place ♪
441
00:23:38,792 --> 00:23:41,363
♪ That you laughed about ♪
442
00:23:41,446 --> 00:23:45,846
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
443
00:23:45,929 --> 00:23:48,023
♪ But those dreams have
remained ♪
444
00:23:48,106 --> 00:23:50,198
♪ And they've turned around ♪
445
00:23:50,282 --> 00:23:52,592
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
446
00:23:52,676 --> 00:23:54,375
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
447
00:23:54,458 --> 00:23:56,465
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
448
00:23:56,549 --> 00:23:58,510
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
449
00:23:58,593 --> 00:24:00,687
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
450
00:24:00,771 --> 00:24:02,863
♪'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
451
00:24:02,946 --> 00:24:04,952
♪ Welcome back ♪
452
00:24:05,035 --> 00:24:07,171
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
453
00:24:07,254 --> 00:24:09,304
♪ Welcome back ♪
454
00:24:09,388 --> 00:24:11,263
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
455
00:24:11,346 --> 00:24:14,397
♪ Welcome back ♪
456
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:17,243
♪ We always could
spot a friend ♪
457
00:24:18,136 --> 00:24:20,272
♪ Welcome back ♪
458
00:24:20,355 --> 00:24:22,491
♪ And I smile when I think ♪
459
00:24:22,574 --> 00:24:25,015
♪How you must have been ♪
460
00:24:25,099 --> 00:24:27,278
♪ And I know what a scene ♪
461
00:24:27,361 --> 00:24:29,368
♪ You were learnin' in ♪
462
00:24:29,451 --> 00:24:31,109
♪ Was there something that ♪
463
00:24:31,192 --> 00:24:33,546
♪ Made you come back again? ♪
464
00:24:33,629 --> 00:24:35,939
♪ And what could ever lead ya? ♪
465
00:24:36,023 --> 00:24:37,767
♪ What could ever lead ya? ♪
466
00:24:37,850 --> 00:24:39,900
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
467
00:24:39,984 --> 00:24:42,119
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
468
00:24:42,203 --> 00:24:44,034
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
469
00:24:44,118 --> 00:24:46,123
♪'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
470
00:24:46,206 --> 00:24:48,385
♪ Welcome back ♪
471
00:24:48,468 --> 00:24:52,782
♪ Welcome back welcome back
welcome back ♪
472
00:24:52,866 --> 00:24:54,958
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
473
00:24:55,042 --> 00:24:57,047
♪Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
474
00:24:57,130 --> 00:24:59,180
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
475
00:24:59,263 --> 00:25:01,571
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪♪
35701
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