Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,316 --> 00:00:03,017
Julie, come on,
the girls are fine.
2
00:00:03,101 --> 00:00:05,203
The movie starts
in ten minutes.
3
00:00:06,026 --> 00:00:07,285
Julie, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Bruce
4
00:00:07,368 --> 00:00:09,912
who was a dress salesman?
5
00:00:09,912 --> 00:00:11,355
One year, he goes to this buyer.
6
00:00:11,355 --> 00:00:13,636
He shows him his merchandise
and the buyer says
7
00:00:13,719 --> 00:00:16,157
"Well, I'm not gonna buy
any of your dresses
8
00:00:16,203 --> 00:00:18,684
but I wish there was 100
like you."
9
00:00:18,767 --> 00:00:20,226
next year he goes back
same buyer
10
00:00:20,309 --> 00:00:21,788
he looks at him,
he says, "Well,
11
00:00:21,832 --> 00:00:23,692
"I'm not gonna buy any
of your dresses
12
00:00:23,775 --> 00:00:26,402
but I wish there was 100
like you."
13
00:00:26,402 --> 00:00:28,402
my uncle says, "How come
every year I come here
14
00:00:28,485 --> 00:00:30,226
"you don't buy anything
and you say
15
00:00:30,287 --> 00:00:32,126
you wish there was 100 like me?"
16
00:00:32,209 --> 00:00:35,712
and the buyer says, "Because
there's 1,000 like you."
17
00:00:46,448 --> 00:00:48,819
[theme song]
18
00:00:50,016 --> 00:00:52,893
♪ Welcome back ♪
19
00:00:52,976 --> 00:00:56,592
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
20
00:00:56,675 --> 00:00:59,073
♪ Welcome back ♪
21
00:00:59,156 --> 00:01:03,730
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
22
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:08,168
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
23
00:01:08,251 --> 00:01:12,695
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
24
00:01:12,778 --> 00:01:14,915
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
25
00:01:14,998 --> 00:01:16,415
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
26
00:01:16,415 --> 00:01:18,247
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
27
00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,379
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
28
00:01:20,462 --> 00:01:24,819
♪ Yeah, we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
29
00:01:24,902 --> 00:01:27,039
♪ Welcome back ♪
30
00:01:27,122 --> 00:01:31,974
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
31
00:01:35,695 --> 00:01:39,111
[rain splattering]
32
00:01:42,006 --> 00:01:45,379
[thunder rumbling]
33
00:01:59,554 --> 00:02:01,014
Mr. Woodman.
34
00:02:03,376 --> 00:02:05,439
Mr. Woodman, are you alright?
You look a little depressed.
35
00:02:05,522 --> 00:02:07,942
What's the matter,
weather got you down?
36
00:02:08,025 --> 00:02:09,665
It's not the weather, Kotter.
37
00:02:09,748 --> 00:02:11,167
My life.
38
00:02:11,250 --> 00:02:13,317
Dull, dreary, depressing.
39
00:02:14,214 --> 00:02:16,585
Believe me, Kotter,
being alive is overrated.
40
00:02:17,779 --> 00:02:20,682
Yeah, but try telling that
to a dead person.
41
00:02:22,625 --> 00:02:23,944
I never thought I'd wind up
like this
42
00:02:24,026 --> 00:02:26,589
a wart on the face
of life.
43
00:02:27,938 --> 00:02:29,558
Come on, Mr. Woodman,
you're being too hard
44
00:02:29,641 --> 00:02:30,800
on yourself.
45
00:02:30,883 --> 00:02:33,243
I wouldn't call you a wart.
46
00:02:33,326 --> 00:02:35,566
Maybe a cold sore.
47
00:02:37,673 --> 00:02:39,753
It's a shame, Kotter,
I never followed
48
00:02:39,836 --> 00:02:41,796
my true calling.
49
00:02:41,879 --> 00:02:45,519
I was gonna be a fancy
Park Avenue podiatrist.
50
00:02:45,602 --> 00:02:48,126
Really, you wanted to be
a foot doctor?
51
00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,145
I loved feet, Kotter.
52
00:02:51,915 --> 00:02:54,096
Just couldn't stand socks.
53
00:02:56,098 --> 00:02:58,518
Gee, I hope little Juan
does okay
54
00:02:58,601 --> 00:03:00,023
at new Utrecht.
55
00:03:00,103 --> 00:03:02,086
These exchange programs, man.
56
00:03:02,106 --> 00:03:03,665
I mean, we have to have
an exchange program
57
00:03:03,748 --> 00:03:05,768
why it got to be
with new Utrecht?
58
00:03:05,851 --> 00:03:08,231
Why can't it be someplace
out of town?
59
00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:10,035
Like Sweden.
60
00:03:10,838 --> 00:03:11,776
Hey, Vinnie.
61
00:03:11,859 --> 00:03:14,002
Vinnie, is it...
62
00:03:14,002 --> 00:03:16,874
...is it true what they say
about Swedish girls?
63
00:03:16,874 --> 00:03:20,718
- What?
- You know!
64
00:03:20,994 --> 00:03:21,966
That they, uh...
65
00:03:21,996 --> 00:03:26,280
...that they make
great meatballs?
66
00:03:27,341 --> 00:03:28,972
[bell ringing]
67
00:03:31,651 --> 00:03:33,751
Hey, little buddy!
68
00:03:35,038 --> 00:03:36,337
Socks.
69
00:03:36,420 --> 00:03:38,862
Stood between me and happiness.
70
00:03:41,999 --> 00:03:43,921
Okay, now open your books
to page 34.
71
00:03:44,004 --> 00:03:46,847
Now we read this chapter
already, but it seems...
72
00:03:46,867 --> 00:03:48,189
Okay, Kotter,
your exchange students
73
00:03:48,189 --> 00:03:49,487
the infamous Carvelli
and Murray
74
00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,201
greet 'em and weep.
75
00:03:51,432 --> 00:03:53,134
Oh, come on!
76
00:03:54,216 --> 00:03:56,335
Mr. Kotter, how come we send
one person over
77
00:03:56,418 --> 00:03:58,798
and they send us back two?
78
00:03:58,881 --> 00:04:01,043
That's 'cause it takes
Murray and Carvelli both
79
00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:03,679
to add up to be one
whole person!
80
00:04:04,827 --> 00:04:06,146
Yeah, Washington?
81
00:04:06,229 --> 00:04:08,849
Well, how would you like
to have part of your face
82
00:04:08,932 --> 00:04:10,432
subtracted?
83
00:04:12,162 --> 00:04:13,598
How would you like
to have your nose
84
00:04:13,604 --> 00:04:15,104
subdivided?
85
00:04:18,108 --> 00:04:20,368
Here, Kotter, I made up a list
of numbers you may need.
86
00:04:20,451 --> 00:04:23,563
Police department, SWAT team.
87
00:04:26,498 --> 00:04:27,957
National Guard.
88
00:04:28,420 --> 00:04:30,966
If all else fails,
suicide hotline.
89
00:04:32,785 --> 00:04:35,465
If you need me,
I'll be in the cafeteria
90
00:04:35,548 --> 00:04:37,648
stringing barbed wire.
91
00:04:38,926 --> 00:04:40,027
Okay, okay, okay.
92
00:04:40,111 --> 00:04:41,311
I think we all know each other.
93
00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:43,130
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
94
00:04:43,214 --> 00:04:44,214
Unfortunately.
95
00:04:44,297 --> 00:04:45,916
Yeah, unfortunately.
96
00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,020
Alright, why don't you guys
take a seat?
97
00:04:49,103 --> 00:04:50,563
Okay.
98
00:04:51,723 --> 00:04:53,005
I'll take this one.
99
00:04:53,088 --> 00:04:54,327
Horshack.
100
00:04:54,410 --> 00:04:55,870
Get up.
101
00:04:56,973 --> 00:04:59,613
You can't have my chair.
102
00:05:01,339 --> 00:05:03,121
This couldn't be your chair
103
00:05:03,121 --> 00:05:06,523
because it doesn't have
any training wheels.
104
00:05:07,682 --> 00:05:08,698
You hear that, Horshack?
105
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:10,965
Carvelli said it can't be
your chair
106
00:05:10,966 --> 00:05:14,087
'cause it ain't got
training wheels.
107
00:05:15,172 --> 00:05:16,931
Hey, Murray,
how would you like to land
108
00:05:17,014 --> 00:05:18,841
in your potty seat?
109
00:05:18,924 --> 00:05:21,713
Ha-ha-ha!
110
00:05:21,796 --> 00:05:22,738
That's enough.
111
00:05:22,821 --> 00:05:24,261
Carvelli, you sit down
right over there
112
00:05:24,344 --> 00:05:26,263
and Murray, you sit down
over here.
113
00:05:26,346 --> 00:05:28,007
Hey, Carvelli.
114
00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:30,568
I heard that
your homecoming queen
115
00:05:30,651 --> 00:05:32,392
was late for school yesterday
116
00:05:32,394 --> 00:05:34,855
'cause she had to be wormed.
117
00:05:38,573 --> 00:05:39,759
Hey, man.
118
00:05:39,842 --> 00:05:41,085
She was lucky.
119
00:05:41,169 --> 00:05:42,126
She was lucky, the runner-up
120
00:05:42,131 --> 00:05:44,328
had to be put to sleep.
121
00:05:47,702 --> 00:05:49,024
Hey, Carvelli.
122
00:05:49,107 --> 00:05:52,470
Why don't you sell me some of
your home-grown potatoes?
123
00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:56,359
Where am I gonna get
home-grown potatoes?
124
00:05:56,443 --> 00:06:00,070
Why don't you look in your ear?
125
00:06:00,642 --> 00:06:02,782
Now, look, Carvelli
and Murray are gonna be here
126
00:06:02,865 --> 00:06:03,982
for a week.
127
00:06:04,065 --> 00:06:06,926
Now this is a classroom,
not a gang war, alright?
128
00:06:07,010 --> 00:06:08,549
Let's straighten out.
129
00:06:08,632 --> 00:06:10,650
- No more insults.
- Mr. Kotter.
130
00:06:10,734 --> 00:06:12,193
Mr. Kotter.
131
00:06:12,357 --> 00:06:13,817
One more.
132
00:06:14,195 --> 00:06:15,957
Did you hear me, Carvelli,
I said no more.
133
00:06:16,041 --> 00:06:17,363
Come on, a little one.
134
00:06:17,383 --> 00:06:19,483
Sit down, Carvelli.
135
00:06:19,866 --> 00:06:21,825
I am sitting.
136
00:06:21,908 --> 00:06:24,491
I sit very tall.
137
00:06:24,752 --> 00:06:27,014
Just another little one.
138
00:06:27,823 --> 00:06:29,938
Hey, Kotter, I got 20
139
00:06:30,021 --> 00:06:32,827
says you break 200 by Friday.
140
00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:42,242
Alright. Now these
test results were not great
141
00:06:42,323 --> 00:06:44,342
but they were encouraging.
142
00:06:44,425 --> 00:06:45,419
Mr. Kotter.
143
00:06:45,503 --> 00:06:47,104
Mr. Kotter, they're here.
144
00:06:47,188 --> 00:06:48,990
The intergalactic visitors.
145
00:06:49,010 --> 00:06:49,916
They've landed.
146
00:06:49,999 --> 00:06:52,631
They Yorkslites have landed.
147
00:06:53,157 --> 00:06:54,885
The Yorkslites have landed.
148
00:06:54,968 --> 00:06:56,903
See, he saw it too.
149
00:06:58,351 --> 00:07:01,113
Think they must have
landed on your head.
150
00:07:01,736 --> 00:07:03,955
Put my man Carvelli down.
151
00:07:04,038 --> 00:07:07,541
He's having a close encounter
of the fourth kind.
152
00:07:08,479 --> 00:07:11,482
Hey, guys, last night
I had a close encounter.
153
00:07:11,566 --> 00:07:13,546
It was with Dolores.
154
00:07:15,770 --> 00:07:18,712
But I couldn't get past
the first kind.
155
00:07:19,512 --> 00:07:22,767
He ain't talkin'
about girls, fool.
156
00:07:22,850 --> 00:07:24,933
Talkin' about an encounter
with another planet.
157
00:07:24,953 --> 00:07:26,412
Murray, Murray, cool it
158
00:07:26,495 --> 00:07:29,795
I told you, this is between me
and the Yorkslites.
159
00:07:29,878 --> 00:07:31,380
What are you talking about?
160
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:32,732
Yorkslites.
161
00:07:32,815 --> 00:07:35,165
They landed on my roof
last night.
162
00:07:35,248 --> 00:07:38,631
Have you been sampling glue
again, Carvelli?
163
00:07:41,194 --> 00:07:42,215
Hey, what they do, man?
164
00:07:42,298 --> 00:07:45,468
They stop by to sell you
some goggles?
165
00:07:45,551 --> 00:07:46,953
Oh, yeah, yeah.
166
00:07:47,036 --> 00:07:48,936
I forgot I had
these on, you see
167
00:07:49,019 --> 00:07:50,902
they made me wear 'em
for the trip last night.
168
00:07:50,922 --> 00:07:53,723
You know,
when you go through radiation
169
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:55,806
the isotopes get inverted
170
00:07:55,889 --> 00:07:58,891
and you could get
retina burnout.
171
00:07:59,651 --> 00:08:00,852
Did you hear that?
172
00:08:00,936 --> 00:08:03,059
Carvelli said the isotope--
173
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:04,278
Murray, Murray.
174
00:08:04,361 --> 00:08:05,903
They heard me.
They heard me.
175
00:08:05,923 --> 00:08:07,205
Alright, alright,
now back here on Earth
176
00:08:07,205 --> 00:08:08,745
we're about to discuss
the test results
177
00:08:08,828 --> 00:08:09,946
so sit down.
178
00:08:10,029 --> 00:08:11,661
Ooh, ooh, ooh!
179
00:08:12,742 --> 00:08:15,305
I want to hear more about
these Yorkslites.
180
00:08:15,388 --> 00:08:16,518
[in unison] Yeah.
181
00:08:16,601 --> 00:08:18,682
Are they all the same
or do they come
182
00:08:18,765 --> 00:08:21,567
in your choice
of decorative colors?
183
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,137
Well, did y'all hear
Horshack or didn't you?
184
00:08:26,220 --> 00:08:28,782
Do they come
in different colors?
185
00:08:34,498 --> 00:08:36,798
Alright, Carvelli,
you got 30 seconds, go.
186
00:08:36,881 --> 00:08:38,795
Alright, okay,
I'll try not to be
187
00:08:38,864 --> 00:08:39,942
too technical.
188
00:08:40,025 --> 00:08:42,429
Okay, last night, I was sittin'
in my room
189
00:08:42,429 --> 00:08:44,517
when all of a sudden,
somebody turns on
190
00:08:44,592 --> 00:08:47,893
this giant magnet
and I'm sucked up
191
00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:49,857
into a spaceship.
192
00:08:52,422 --> 00:08:54,247
Now, come on, Carvelli, now
193
00:08:54,330 --> 00:08:56,655
how anybody gonna believe
that some giant magnet came
194
00:08:56,738 --> 00:08:58,668
and sucked somebody off
into a ship?
195
00:08:58,751 --> 00:09:00,253
That's the first thing
I asked them
196
00:09:00,253 --> 00:09:01,532
when I got on board.
197
00:09:01,615 --> 00:09:04,678
It works on the fillings
in your teeth.
198
00:09:05,304 --> 00:09:10,026
Anyways, ten seconds later,
I'm on the planet Yorksl.
199
00:09:10,813 --> 00:09:11,731
There's more.
200
00:09:11,814 --> 00:09:13,595
There's more, they're coming
back for me.
201
00:09:13,678 --> 00:09:15,592
They're coming back on Zoyel.
202
00:09:15,642 --> 00:09:17,102
Zoyel?
203
00:09:17,585 --> 00:09:19,042
Did I say Zoyel?
204
00:09:19,125 --> 00:09:20,127
Yeah, you said Zoyel.
205
00:09:20,210 --> 00:09:21,630
I said Zoyel.
206
00:09:21,713 --> 00:09:24,175
It's all their language,
it's all so new to me.
207
00:09:24,258 --> 00:09:26,358
Zoyel, Hern, Loisch.
208
00:09:27,244 --> 00:09:28,944
In English.
209
00:09:29,570 --> 00:09:31,531
That's tomorrow night.
210
00:09:31,614 --> 00:09:33,374
Carvelli, will you sit down
before your Zoyel
211
00:09:33,457 --> 00:09:36,457
gets caught in your Hern?
212
00:09:36,540 --> 00:09:37,521
Don't you care?
213
00:09:37,604 --> 00:09:39,846
Don't you care that
Yorksl is dying?
214
00:09:39,929 --> 00:09:41,812
They're in desperate need
of something
215
00:09:41,812 --> 00:09:45,035
and Earth is the only place
they can get it.
216
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,878
Look, I'm telling ya,
I don't care what they need
217
00:09:46,961 --> 00:09:48,203
if you don't shut up,
I'm gonna take ya
218
00:09:48,203 --> 00:09:49,543
to Woodman's office.
219
00:09:49,626 --> 00:09:51,086
Belts.
220
00:09:51,169 --> 00:09:54,312
The Yorkslites need belts.
221
00:09:55,663 --> 00:09:57,285
That's it, let's go. Come on.
222
00:09:57,368 --> 00:09:59,788
No, no, for 400 years,
they've been walking around
223
00:09:59,871 --> 00:10:02,592
with their pants
around their ankles.
224
00:10:02,675 --> 00:10:03,977
Carvelli, let's go, come on!
225
00:10:03,977 --> 00:10:05,513
Let's go!
226
00:10:05,596 --> 00:10:06,778
Oh, I'm sorry, are you okay?
227
00:10:06,861 --> 00:10:08,711
Yeah, yeah, I liked it.
228
00:10:11,046 --> 00:10:12,939
I'll be right back.
229
00:10:14,130 --> 00:10:15,389
Hey, Murray.
230
00:10:15,472 --> 00:10:19,334
I hope Carvelli don't tell
Mr. Woodman that story.
231
00:10:19,417 --> 00:10:22,539
He don't believe in life
on this planet.
232
00:10:27,066 --> 00:10:28,441
Alright, alright, quiet.
233
00:10:28,524 --> 00:10:29,882
Let's go.
234
00:10:29,965 --> 00:10:32,251
Quiet, come on, come on.
235
00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:34,276
We still got some time left.
236
00:10:34,276 --> 00:10:36,648
[bell ringing]
237
00:10:41,122 --> 00:10:42,762
- Bye.
- Buh-bye.
238
00:10:42,845 --> 00:10:44,304
Yo, Mr. Kotter.
239
00:10:44,386 --> 00:10:45,907
What happened with Mr. Woodman?
240
00:10:45,990 --> 00:10:47,644
Well, I left as soon
as Carvelli
241
00:10:47,652 --> 00:10:48,932
took out a banana
and told Woodman
242
00:10:49,015 --> 00:10:50,850
it was a Yorkslite wallet.
243
00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:53,360
A banana?
244
00:10:53,443 --> 00:10:55,642
That is so stupid.
245
00:10:55,725 --> 00:10:58,895
A banana don't even have
a place to hold pictures.
246
00:11:01,134 --> 00:11:02,734
You know something, Mr. Kotter.
247
00:11:02,817 --> 00:11:04,159
When Mr. Woodman
gets through with him
248
00:11:04,199 --> 00:11:05,458
Carvelli's gonna need himself
249
00:11:05,541 --> 00:11:07,641
an ear transplant.
250
00:11:09,122 --> 00:11:11,283
Either that or he's
gonna have to get himself
251
00:11:11,366 --> 00:11:13,520
a hearing ear dog.
252
00:11:16,287 --> 00:11:17,528
Hey, guys, you know what?
253
00:11:17,611 --> 00:11:19,731
Maybe Woodman will give him
a because it's
254
00:11:19,814 --> 00:11:22,735
be kind to stupid people week.
255
00:11:23,937 --> 00:11:25,037
Alright, alright,
what are you doin'
256
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:26,420
don't you have a class
to go to?
257
00:11:26,421 --> 00:11:27,381
I'm free this period.
258
00:11:27,381 --> 00:11:28,681
Go ahead, next class.
259
00:11:28,764 --> 00:11:30,362
- Okay, see you Mr. Kotter.
- Bye-bye.
260
00:11:30,445 --> 00:11:33,383
Hey, don 't take any
Yorkslite nickels.
261
00:11:37,093 --> 00:11:38,553
Yorkslite.
262
00:11:38,658 --> 00:11:40,017
Zoyel.
263
00:11:40,100 --> 00:11:41,560
Hern.
264
00:11:42,263 --> 00:11:43,724
Podiatrist.
265
00:11:45,688 --> 00:11:47,148
Carvelli.
266
00:11:58,142 --> 00:11:59,264
Ah, Mr. Woodman.
267
00:11:59,347 --> 00:12:00,823
Did you straighten out Carvelli?
268
00:12:00,906 --> 00:12:02,248
It's amazing, Kotter.
269
00:12:02,331 --> 00:12:04,192
Truly amazing.
270
00:12:04,275 --> 00:12:05,436
Wasn't that the wildest story
271
00:12:05,436 --> 00:12:06,536
you've ever heard
in your life?
272
00:12:06,537 --> 00:12:07,471
Yeah.
273
00:12:07,554 --> 00:12:08,854
The only thing I can't
figure out
274
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:11,462
is why the Yorkslites
picked Carvelli.
275
00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:13,926
Well, that's becau...
276
00:12:15,129 --> 00:12:16,633
Anyway, I'm glad
you sent him to me.
277
00:12:16,716 --> 00:12:17,936
Otherwise, I wouldn't
have known about
278
00:12:18,019 --> 00:12:20,120
tomorrow night's landing.
279
00:12:22,114 --> 00:12:23,432
Mr. Woodman, you got
to be kidding me
280
00:12:23,515 --> 00:12:24,897
you can't believe
Carvelli's story.
281
00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:25,878
That's ridiculous.
282
00:12:25,961 --> 00:12:28,519
Ridiculous, you say. Ha-ha!
283
00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:30,579
Earthlings are so naive.
284
00:12:30,662 --> 00:12:33,903
I believed in UFOs for years,
Kotter.
285
00:12:33,986 --> 00:12:35,284
I mean, how else can you
account for those
286
00:12:35,367 --> 00:12:36,585
unexplained phenomena?
287
00:12:36,668 --> 00:12:38,347
The Bermuda Triangle?
288
00:12:38,429 --> 00:12:40,391
The Sex Pistols.
289
00:12:42,254 --> 00:12:44,034
Chuck Barris.
290
00:12:45,654 --> 00:12:47,396
You believe in UFOs?
291
00:12:47,479 --> 00:12:50,721
You, a man who thought
electricity was a fad?
292
00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:54,459
Go ahead, Kotter, make jokes.
293
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:55,923
Look at this.
294
00:12:56,006 --> 00:12:57,508
I clipped this out
of the "Midnight Star"
295
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:58,779
two years ago.
296
00:12:58,789 --> 00:13:00,147
That's the only paper left
in the country
297
00:13:00,230 --> 00:13:01,948
you can believe.
298
00:13:03,333 --> 00:13:05,393
"Louisiana couple sucked
into spaceship
299
00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:07,697
by fillings in teeth."
300
00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,539
See? Matches Carvelli's story.
301
00:13:11,622 --> 00:13:13,082
They're back.
302
00:13:13,244 --> 00:13:15,484
I want to thank you again.
303
00:13:15,567 --> 00:13:17,703
You sent me Carvelli.
304
00:13:17,786 --> 00:13:19,813
You gave me hope.
305
00:13:19,896 --> 00:13:22,120
To carry on.
306
00:13:22,203 --> 00:13:24,617
♪ You light up my life ♪
307
00:13:25,293 --> 00:13:26,864
♪ You give me hope ♪
308
00:13:26,947 --> 00:13:28,927
♪ Carry on ♪♪
309
00:13:37,639 --> 00:13:39,532
I don't know.
310
00:13:44,428 --> 00:13:46,116
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
311
00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:47,660
Man, you gots to do something.
312
00:13:47,743 --> 00:13:48,842
I mean, Carvelli's making
the whole school
313
00:13:48,925 --> 00:13:50,268
look stupid!
314
00:13:50,351 --> 00:13:53,963
Yeah, and I'm tired
of looking like a fool.
315
00:13:54,046 --> 00:13:56,148
I can get that at home.
316
00:13:56,929 --> 00:13:58,548
You know what I can't believe
is that Woodman
317
00:13:58,631 --> 00:14:00,350
is swallowing
this whole thing.
318
00:14:00,433 --> 00:14:02,132
Oh, yeah? You know what's even
worse than that?
319
00:14:02,215 --> 00:14:03,695
Know what's even worse
than that?
320
00:14:03,756 --> 00:14:05,176
He's lettin' Carvelli use
the schoolyard
321
00:14:05,259 --> 00:14:06,999
for the landin'!
322
00:14:08,463 --> 00:14:10,181
And that's crazy.
323
00:14:11,947 --> 00:14:15,028
The schoolyard is
a towaway zone.
324
00:14:16,266 --> 00:14:18,028
[knock on door]
325
00:14:20,248 --> 00:14:21,048
Mr. Woodman.
326
00:14:21,131 --> 00:14:23,235
Can't stay long, Kotter,
I got a flight to catch,
327
00:14:23,295 --> 00:14:25,143
I'm off to Yorksl.
328
00:14:27,669 --> 00:14:29,064
Uh...
329
00:14:29,147 --> 00:14:31,106
you think six towels
will be enough, Julie?
330
00:14:31,189 --> 00:14:33,149
Why bring them, Mr. Woodman?
331
00:14:33,232 --> 00:14:36,035
Steal them from
the Yorksl Hilton.
332
00:14:37,580 --> 00:14:39,220
Mr. Woodman, you show up there
tomorrow night
333
00:14:39,303 --> 00:14:40,345
they won't tale you to Yorksl
334
00:14:40,345 --> 00:14:43,049
they'll take you
to the State Home.
335
00:14:43,210 --> 00:14:45,812
It's okay,
he's already packed.
336
00:14:47,363 --> 00:14:48,985
Mr. Woodman, okay, okay.
337
00:14:49,068 --> 00:14:51,462
What if this thing
is true, alright?
338
00:14:51,470 --> 00:14:54,331
I saw this movie once
where it was about this planet
339
00:14:54,414 --> 00:14:58,016
that was run by a bunch
of ugly monsters, okay?
340
00:14:58,038 --> 00:14:59,957
And they had this earthling on
it like someone
341
00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,581
like yourself, and...
342
00:15:04,665 --> 00:15:06,645
...they ate him.
343
00:15:10,491 --> 00:15:13,553
Course, you'd probably
make 'em sick.
344
00:15:17,442 --> 00:15:19,662
Yeah, think about it,
Mr. Woodman.
345
00:15:19,745 --> 00:15:22,552
You could end up
on a Yorkslite menu.
346
00:15:24,131 --> 00:15:26,192
Filet of old.
347
00:15:27,373 --> 00:15:30,056
Alright, guys,
come on, come on.
348
00:15:30,139 --> 00:15:31,140
Julie and I would like to speak
349
00:15:31,181 --> 00:15:33,021
to Mr. Woodman.
350
00:15:34,845 --> 00:15:37,206
Well, Mr. Woodman,
good luck, you know.
351
00:15:37,289 --> 00:15:39,231
Just remember,
Earth may be losing
352
00:15:39,231 --> 00:15:41,471
a vice principal, but Yorksl
353
00:15:41,554 --> 00:15:44,296
is gainin' a midget.
354
00:15:45,826 --> 00:15:46,787
See you later.
355
00:15:46,870 --> 00:15:48,330
- Bye.
- Bye.
356
00:15:49,031 --> 00:15:52,510
Okay, Mr. Woodman,
now the guys are gone.
357
00:15:52,593 --> 00:15:55,555
You don't really believe
all this stuff, do you?
358
00:15:55,638 --> 00:15:57,237
Why not?
359
00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,143
I have nothing to lose,
other than more
360
00:16:00,143 --> 00:16:02,905
miserable years
teaching savages.
361
00:16:03,908 --> 00:16:05,087
And who knows?
362
00:16:05,170 --> 00:16:08,150
On Yorksl, I might even be tall.
363
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:12,070
Mr. Woodman.
364
00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:14,695
Look whose word you're taking
for this, Carvelli's.
365
00:16:14,778 --> 00:16:16,824
Look, the Yorkslites trust him.
366
00:16:16,907 --> 00:16:18,108
I trust him too, Kotter.
367
00:16:18,182 --> 00:16:20,543
Oh, Julie, I want you
to have these.
368
00:16:20,626 --> 00:16:22,625
The keys to my car.
369
00:16:22,708 --> 00:16:24,168
Mr. Woodman, I cannot take...
370
00:16:24,251 --> 00:16:25,372
it sticks a little
in third gear
371
00:16:25,372 --> 00:16:27,395
but just hit the clock.
372
00:16:28,897 --> 00:16:30,357
Well.
373
00:16:30,479 --> 00:16:32,827
I guess that's about it. I, uh...
374
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:35,564
I know you think
I'm crazy, but Carvelli told me
375
00:16:35,606 --> 00:16:38,965
how much they pay
vice principals up there.
376
00:16:39,048 --> 00:16:41,231
While you're slaving away
for peanuts
377
00:16:41,314 --> 00:16:45,209
I will be getting
5,000 gretnas a week!
378
00:16:49,872 --> 00:16:52,512
I think he's finally
lost it.
379
00:16:52,595 --> 00:16:53,779
I don't know, Julie.
380
00:16:53,862 --> 00:16:55,802
5,000 gretnas.
381
00:16:57,728 --> 00:17:00,448
That's a lot of shmoyletten.
382
00:17:14,932 --> 00:17:18,311
Alright, alright, countdown
starts in five minutes.
383
00:17:18,395 --> 00:17:21,696
Don't forget to get
your souvenirs.
384
00:17:21,779 --> 00:17:24,739
The more you buy,
the more the Yorkslites
385
00:17:24,763 --> 00:17:26,203
are gonna like you.
386
00:17:26,286 --> 00:17:27,746
Balloons.
387
00:17:27,988 --> 00:17:31,850
Bumper stickers.
You'll get your Corksil
388
00:17:31,934 --> 00:17:34,998
when you see Yorksl,
don't moan or groan
389
00:17:35,038 --> 00:17:38,100
'cause we ain't alone.
390
00:17:38,457 --> 00:17:39,778
Alright, now ladies
and gentlemen
391
00:17:39,861 --> 00:17:42,468
could I have
your attention, please?
392
00:17:42,468 --> 00:17:46,174
The National Aeronautics
and Space Administration
393
00:17:46,257 --> 00:17:49,425
in cooperation
with Carvelli Enterprises
394
00:17:49,425 --> 00:17:54,655
is pleased to present
an evening with Yorksl.
395
00:17:56,318 --> 00:17:59,903
But first, I'd like to, uh,
to introduce
396
00:17:59,903 --> 00:18:01,362
the brave man who's
gonna be making
397
00:18:01,445 --> 00:18:02,927
the return trip
398
00:18:02,946 --> 00:18:05,060
the vice principal
of Buchanan,
399
00:18:05,143 --> 00:18:08,147
and former safety officer
on the Hindenburg
400
00:18:08,230 --> 00:18:09,690
here's Woodman!
401
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,964
Ready for blast-off, Carvelli.
402
00:18:19,047 --> 00:18:20,707
Yeah, I can see that,
Mr. Woodman.
403
00:18:20,790 --> 00:18:22,609
I got a question
for you, though.
404
00:18:22,692 --> 00:18:24,751
What's in the bag?
405
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:28,797
Linguini and white clam sauce,
garlic bread
406
00:18:28,880 --> 00:18:30,622
and a carafe of chablis,
I didn't know
407
00:18:30,622 --> 00:18:32,903
whether they served dinners
on the flight.
408
00:18:32,986 --> 00:18:34,341
Got no silverware?
409
00:18:34,425 --> 00:18:35,927
Don't need any.
410
00:18:36,010 --> 00:18:38,913
In space, the food just
floats into your mouth.
411
00:18:39,654 --> 00:18:41,854
Oh, yeah, hey, Murray.
412
00:18:41,937 --> 00:18:43,641
It's about that time,
why don't you, uh
413
00:18:43,723 --> 00:18:45,707
start the countdown?
414
00:18:45,790 --> 00:18:47,231
One.
415
00:18:47,314 --> 00:18:48,714
Two, three...
416
00:18:48,797 --> 00:18:50,408
Murray, Murray, Murray.
417
00:18:50,491 --> 00:18:53,379
You're counting
the wrong way, Murray.
418
00:18:53,462 --> 00:18:56,640
That's why you're
not coming with me.
419
00:18:56,724 --> 00:18:58,506
Alright, come on now, here.
420
00:18:58,506 --> 00:19:01,890
Five, four, three,
421
00:19:02,190 --> 00:19:04,252
two, one...
422
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,495
Well, that concludes
the landing portion
423
00:19:08,578 --> 00:19:11,037
of this evening's show,
thank you very much
424
00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,223
for your support,
and there will always be
425
00:19:13,223 --> 00:19:16,605
a Yorkslite
on your porch light.
426
00:19:20,738 --> 00:19:21,940
You know, it looks like
to me, Carvelli
427
00:19:21,940 --> 00:19:23,976
that you rippin'
these people off.
428
00:19:24,060 --> 00:19:25,542
Aw, what's the matter,
you guys upset
429
00:19:25,625 --> 00:19:27,584
'cause I made your whole school
look foolish?
430
00:19:27,648 --> 00:19:28,869
You ain't gettin' away
with it, Carvelli.
431
00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:30,120
- That's right.
- Yeah?
432
00:19:30,203 --> 00:19:32,708
Alright, alright, look.
Calm down.
433
00:19:32,708 --> 00:19:33,832
Violence never solved anything.
434
00:19:33,833 --> 00:19:37,312
We don't want to solve
anything, Mr. Kotter.
435
00:19:37,313 --> 00:19:39,949
We just want to hurt him.
Stop me.
436
00:19:41,188 --> 00:19:42,847
Come on. Look, guys.
Take it easy.
437
00:19:42,930 --> 00:19:45,204
Everything's gonna be
alright. So...
438
00:19:45,287 --> 00:19:47,658
[high-pitched electronic shrill]
439
00:19:55,542 --> 00:19:58,436
[deep gurgling]
440
00:20:02,074 --> 00:20:04,274
They're here.
441
00:20:04,358 --> 00:20:06,990
They must've been held up
in traffic.
442
00:20:07,983 --> 00:20:11,355
["5th symphony" by Beethoven]
443
00:20:31,222 --> 00:20:32,682
Carvelli.
444
00:20:33,049 --> 00:20:35,160
It is time to depart.
445
00:20:36,226 --> 00:20:37,686
Huh?
446
00:20:43,438 --> 00:20:46,506
Yorksl awaits you, Carvelli.
447
00:20:46,589 --> 00:20:49,440
Are... are you talking to me?
448
00:20:50,510 --> 00:20:51,911
You must be punished.
449
00:20:51,994 --> 00:20:54,999
Punished? Hey, look,
it was just a joke.
450
00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:58,695
There is no humor on Yorksl.
451
00:20:59,066 --> 00:21:00,526
Only torture.
452
00:21:00,728 --> 00:21:02,188
And dancing.
453
00:21:06,674 --> 00:21:09,832
Look, look, I didn't
hurt anybody and I thought...
454
00:21:09,916 --> 00:21:11,758
Look, hey, look,
you want the money?
455
00:21:11,778 --> 00:21:13,497
Here, take the money,
whatever you need, look.
456
00:21:13,580 --> 00:21:16,640
Just don't do nothing
to me, alright?
457
00:21:16,724 --> 00:21:18,184
Alright.
458
00:21:20,092 --> 00:21:22,986
[all laughing]
459
00:21:25,151 --> 00:21:26,893
Hey, Carvelli.
Hey, Carvelli, what happened?
460
00:21:26,976 --> 00:21:29,020
She out scammed your scheme.
461
00:21:29,020 --> 00:21:31,418
Hey, Carvelli.
462
00:21:31,502 --> 00:21:35,004
May the force
be up your nose!
463
00:21:36,098 --> 00:21:39,179
Carvelli, Carvelli was goin',
"Oh, it was only a joke
464
00:21:39,263 --> 00:21:40,803
believe me."
465
00:21:41,684 --> 00:21:42,906
Alright, alright,
come on, that's enough.
466
00:21:42,989 --> 00:21:44,529
Who is this chick?
467
00:21:44,612 --> 00:21:47,193
Oh, this is my wife, Julie.
468
00:21:47,276 --> 00:21:49,597
That's where you're wrong,
honey.
469
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,381
I am from Yorksl
470
00:21:52,465 --> 00:21:55,101
and it is time
for me to depart.
471
00:21:56,491 --> 00:21:58,492
Take me with you.
472
00:21:59,488 --> 00:22:00,948
Please?
473
00:22:02,575 --> 00:22:03,375
Oh.
474
00:22:03,458 --> 00:22:04,376
Alright.
475
00:22:04,459 --> 00:22:07,353
You look like a nice enough
little feller.
476
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:12,649
Wow, look, check it out.
477
00:22:12,732 --> 00:22:13,770
They're talkin' off.
478
00:22:13,853 --> 00:22:18,077
- Yeah, without a spaceship.
- How did they do that?
479
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,620
My wife.
480
00:22:19,902 --> 00:22:21,362
The Yorkslite.
481
00:22:32,362 --> 00:22:33,862
Kotter?
482
00:22:38,690 --> 00:22:40,252
Oh, Mr. Woodman.
483
00:22:40,272 --> 00:22:41,732
I'm sorry.
484
00:22:42,692 --> 00:22:44,132
I was daydreaming.
485
00:22:44,215 --> 00:22:46,585
Well, not on company time,
Kotter.
486
00:22:48,381 --> 00:22:50,040
I thought you believed
Carvelli's story
487
00:22:50,123 --> 00:22:53,285
and you and Julie went
to Yorkslite with him.
488
00:22:54,008 --> 00:22:56,911
Well, I don't blame Julie
for wanting to go.
489
00:22:57,311 --> 00:22:59,379
You never take her anywhere.
490
00:23:00,292 --> 00:23:02,154
You get it, Kotter?
491
00:23:02,237 --> 00:23:03,436
Oh, Kotter.
492
00:23:03,519 --> 00:23:04,610
By the way.
493
00:23:04,619 --> 00:23:07,828
The next time you dream,
dream of a raise in pay.
494
00:23:07,848 --> 00:23:10,484
It's the only time
you're gonna get one!
495
00:23:24,366 --> 00:23:25,583
Hey, Freddie, how you doin'?
496
00:23:25,667 --> 00:23:27,248
Hey, what's happening,
Mr. Kotter?
497
00:23:27,248 --> 00:23:28,330
Come on, you coming in?
498
00:23:28,330 --> 00:23:30,389
No, I'm gonna catch up
with you in a minute, alright?
499
00:23:30,472 --> 00:23:31,690
- Okay, good.
- Wait a minute, Mr. Kotter.
500
00:23:31,773 --> 00:23:32,773
Hold up, hold up.
501
00:23:32,856 --> 00:23:36,979
Hey, did I ever tell you
about my Aunt Mabel?
502
00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:39,895
- No, you never did.
- I never... ooh.
503
00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:41,628
That's the ugliest woman
in the world
504
00:23:41,629 --> 00:23:43,034
that I ever saw!
505
00:23:43,118 --> 00:23:45,157
How ugly is she?
506
00:23:45,240 --> 00:23:46,540
Man, she's so ugly that my uncle
507
00:23:46,623 --> 00:23:48,560
bought her a rubber pillow.
508
00:23:48,643 --> 00:23:50,326
Why'd he buy her
a rubber pillow?
509
00:23:50,409 --> 00:23:52,977
'cause he wanted to see
if she could erase her face.
510
00:23:53,004 --> 00:23:55,680
[laughing]
511
00:23:58,763 --> 00:24:01,004
Bought her a rubber pillow...
512
00:24:06,773 --> 00:24:10,145
[theme song]
513
00:24:10,646 --> 00:24:13,479
♪ Welcome back ♪
514
00:24:13,562 --> 00:24:17,135
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
515
00:24:17,218 --> 00:24:19,485
♪ Welcome back ♪
516
00:24:19,568 --> 00:24:24,142
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
517
00:24:24,225 --> 00:24:28,668
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
518
00:24:28,751 --> 00:24:32,933
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
519
00:24:33,016 --> 00:24:35,240
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
520
00:24:35,323 --> 00:24:37,024
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya? ♪
521
00:24:37,107 --> 00:24:39,113
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
522
00:24:39,196 --> 00:24:41,332
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
523
00:24:41,415 --> 00:24:45,424
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
524
00:24:45,507 --> 00:24:47,948
♪ Welcome back ♪
525
00:24:48,031 --> 00:24:52,082
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
526
00:24:52,165 --> 00:24:54,259
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
527
00:24:54,342 --> 00:24:56,148
♪ Welcome back ♪
528
00:24:57,171 --> 00:25:00,874
♪ We always could
spot a friend ♪
529
00:25:00,957 --> 00:25:03,137
♪ Welcome back ♪
530
00:25:03,220 --> 00:25:04,569
♪ And I smile when I think... ♪♪
36750
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof