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1
00:00:00,607 --> 00:00:01,912
I'll see you in a week, Julie.
2
00:00:01,995 --> 00:00:02,995
- Buh-bye, honey.
- Bye, baby.
3
00:00:02,996 --> 00:00:05,098
- Have a good trip.
- Thank you.
4
00:00:05,819 --> 00:00:07,909
[door shuts]
5
00:00:07,992 --> 00:00:11,430
Julie, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Habib Kotter?
6
00:00:11,462 --> 00:00:13,649
- Habib Kotter... No, go ahead.
- Well...
7
00:00:14,444 --> 00:00:16,686
Old Uncle Habib
was a traveling salesman
8
00:00:16,768 --> 00:00:18,380
and he worked
at the same company for 30 years
9
00:00:18,390 --> 00:00:21,523
and he never got a promotion!
How do you like that?
10
00:00:21,606 --> 00:00:23,206
So one day he figured,
"Why don't I get a promotion?"
11
00:00:23,254 --> 00:00:25,116
He went in to the boss and said,
"Look, boss, I've been workin'
12
00:00:25,116 --> 00:00:27,518
here for 30 years,
I want a promotion," boss said
13
00:00:27,558 --> 00:00:29,860
"I can't do that, Habib,
you're just not bright enough."
14
00:00:29,860 --> 00:00:31,253
He said, "What do you mean
I'm not bright enough?" The boss
15
00:00:31,261 --> 00:00:32,880
said, "Here, I'll
prove it to you," puts his hand
16
00:00:32,963 --> 00:00:34,962
against the wall, he said,
"Habib, hit my hand."
17
00:00:35,045 --> 00:00:37,046
Habib takes a swing at his hand,
the boss pulls the hand away.
18
00:00:37,046 --> 00:00:38,725
- Habib hits the wall.
- Huh!
19
00:00:38,808 --> 00:00:40,244
"See, you're not bright enough.
20
00:00:40,249 --> 00:00:41,598
You didn't know
I was gonna do that."
21
00:00:41,610 --> 00:00:43,472
So Habib walks out of the office
a little dejected
22
00:00:43,472 --> 00:00:45,915
the other salesman says,
"Did you ask him for the raise?"
23
00:00:45,935 --> 00:00:47,806
Habib says, "Yeah,
I asked him for the raise."
24
00:00:47,818 --> 00:00:49,717
"Well, what happened?"
"He wouldn't give it to me.
25
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,237
Said I wasn't bright enough."
26
00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:52,620
"What does he mean
you're not bright enough?"
27
00:00:52,624 --> 00:00:54,566
And Habib said, "Well,
he proved it to me."
28
00:00:54,586 --> 00:00:55,892
Guy said, "How did he prove it?"
29
00:00:55,908 --> 00:00:58,084
Habib says, "Watch this,
I'll prove it to you.
30
00:00:58,091 --> 00:00:59,871
Hit my hand."
31
00:01:03,436 --> 00:01:06,809
[theme song]
32
00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:14,103
♪ Welcome back ♪
33
00:01:14,186 --> 00:01:17,889
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
34
00:01:17,972 --> 00:01:20,022
♪ Welcome back ♪
35
00:01:20,105 --> 00:01:24,809
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
36
00:01:24,892 --> 00:01:29,162
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
37
00:01:29,245 --> 00:01:33,775
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
38
00:01:33,858 --> 00:01:35,947
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
39
00:01:36,014 --> 00:01:37,628
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
40
00:01:37,711 --> 00:01:39,673
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
41
00:01:39,756 --> 00:01:41,937
♪ Back here where we need ya? ♪
42
00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:46,115
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
43
00:01:46,197 --> 00:01:48,161
♪ Welcome back ♪
44
00:01:48,244 --> 00:01:53,597
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
45
00:01:54,902 --> 00:01:57,709
[theme music]
46
00:02:11,179 --> 00:02:12,943
[indistinct chatter]
47
00:02:13,026 --> 00:02:15,231
I see the substitute teacher
ain't here yet, huh?
48
00:02:15,314 --> 00:02:18,124
Yeah, you know,
I love it when Mr. Kotter goes
49
00:02:18,124 --> 00:02:21,192
on those, uh, teacher
conventions, it's terrific.
50
00:02:21,275 --> 00:02:24,020
Gives my brain a chance to rest.
51
00:02:25,218 --> 00:02:26,819
Just think.
52
00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,578
Mr. Kotter is way up in Albany
53
00:02:30,643 --> 00:02:34,038
learning all kinds
of new teaching techniques.
54
00:02:34,066 --> 00:02:36,347
Yeah, too bad he has
to waste 'em on us, huh?
55
00:02:36,429 --> 00:02:38,066
[male 1] Yeah.
56
00:02:38,149 --> 00:02:39,831
I wonder how come Mr. Kotter
57
00:02:39,831 --> 00:02:41,629
went up there
without Mrs. Kotter.
58
00:02:41,712 --> 00:02:46,036
Well, maybe it's because
Mrs. Kotter is with child
59
00:02:46,036 --> 00:02:49,413
and they can't afford
three fares.
60
00:02:49,496 --> 00:02:51,978
No, it's got nothin'
to do with that.
61
00:02:52,061 --> 00:02:54,237
Pregnant people
ain't supposed to travel.
62
00:02:54,263 --> 00:02:56,899
I think it's against the law
or somethin'.
63
00:02:57,824 --> 00:02:59,478
Hey, look at this, look at this.
64
00:02:59,561 --> 00:03:03,532
- I got a bite, I got a bite!
- Now pick him in easy.
65
00:03:04,073 --> 00:03:07,359
Great. Now catch some
tartar sauce, we can have lunch.
66
00:03:10,340 --> 00:03:12,440
Here we are.
67
00:03:12,547 --> 00:03:14,790
These are those wonderful,
well-behaved children
68
00:03:14,790 --> 00:03:16,930
I told you about.
69
00:03:16,967 --> 00:03:19,817
Is he in the right class?
70
00:03:20,632 --> 00:03:21,767
[laughs]
71
00:03:21,850 --> 00:03:25,395
Children, this is
your substitute teacher
72
00:03:25,455 --> 00:03:26,915
Mr. Overly.
73
00:03:27,118 --> 00:03:28,578
Overly what?
74
00:03:30,504 --> 00:03:33,988
Maybe they should be
calling you underly.
75
00:03:34,409 --> 00:03:35,811
[laughing]
76
00:03:35,894 --> 00:03:37,551
[Horshack] Mr. Underly? Oh, I loved it.
77
00:03:37,634 --> 00:03:38,582
- That's so funny.
- Right.
78
00:03:38,665 --> 00:03:41,923
You see, Mr. Overly,
they've accepted you already.
79
00:03:42,006 --> 00:03:44,889
They, uh, they love to make
their little jokes.
80
00:03:44,972 --> 00:03:49,457
Oh, yes. Uh, but, uh,
why are they called Sweathogs?
81
00:03:49,457 --> 00:03:51,197
Well, that's cute.
82
00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:53,459
Don't you, uh, recognize
a term of endearment
83
00:03:53,542 --> 00:03:55,499
when you hear one?
84
00:03:55,582 --> 00:03:56,903
You, uh, just start your lesson.
85
00:03:56,986 --> 00:03:58,466
- They're eager to learn.
- Uh, Mr.--
86
00:03:58,468 --> 00:04:01,579
Good to have you here
at Buchanan, Overly.
87
00:04:03,494 --> 00:04:06,335
He bought it!
I think the fool bought it!
88
00:04:06,335 --> 00:04:08,079
[laughs]
89
00:04:12,421 --> 00:04:15,718
Uh, well, uh,
uh, you all look like
90
00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:19,477
a, uh, nice bunch of kids.
91
00:04:20,274 --> 00:04:23,650
Reasonable, uh, eager to learn
92
00:04:23,733 --> 00:04:26,914
uh, well-behaved.
93
00:04:26,997 --> 00:04:30,369
[whistling]
94
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:46,530
[theme music]
95
00:04:48,337 --> 00:04:51,710
[indistinct chatter]
96
00:04:52,636 --> 00:04:55,615
I'm sorry, little Juan,
but I, for one
97
00:04:55,698 --> 00:04:57,180
am gonna miss Mr. Overly.
98
00:04:57,220 --> 00:04:58,579
Yeah, well,
I never seen a grown man
99
00:04:58,662 --> 00:05:00,941
cry like that before.
100
00:05:01,025 --> 00:05:02,988
I don't see why
Mr. Overly was so upset
101
00:05:02,988 --> 00:05:05,647
when we was just
pullin' his leg.
102
00:05:05,731 --> 00:05:07,531
Well, maybe it was too much
when we pulled the other one
103
00:05:07,613 --> 00:05:09,549
and made a wish.
104
00:05:13,841 --> 00:05:15,952
Hey, there's Mrs. Kotter!
105
00:05:16,166 --> 00:05:19,186
Yoo-hoo, Mrs. Kotter!
106
00:05:20,610 --> 00:05:21,948
Arnold, is that you?
107
00:05:22,032 --> 00:05:23,201
Yeah, it's me.
108
00:05:23,284 --> 00:05:25,373
I was afraid of that.
109
00:05:25,456 --> 00:05:27,413
Come in, come in! Wow!
110
00:05:27,439 --> 00:05:29,242
Hey, Mrs. Kotter,
you shouldn't be carrying these
111
00:05:29,242 --> 00:05:30,897
these heavy bags
in your condition.
112
00:05:30,981 --> 00:05:33,344
- Uh...
- It's okay, Freddie, really.
113
00:05:33,427 --> 00:05:34,789
You're supposed to carry
heavy things.
114
00:05:34,809 --> 00:05:36,418
It keeps your muscles toned.
115
00:05:36,472 --> 00:05:38,433
Oh, good.
You wanna carry my books?
116
00:05:38,454 --> 00:05:41,635
Now, we'll have
none of that, Vincent!
117
00:05:41,719 --> 00:05:44,460
Mrs. Kotter is with child.
118
00:05:44,543 --> 00:05:47,134
Where? I don't see no child.
119
00:05:47,194 --> 00:05:48,718
Hey, Mrs. Kotter,
you really should
120
00:05:48,796 --> 00:05:50,338
let us help you home
with them bags.
121
00:05:50,358 --> 00:05:52,758
Oh, no, guys, really,
it's okay, I can manage.
122
00:05:52,841 --> 00:05:54,702
Nah, nah, nah,
that's very, very brave of you
123
00:05:54,702 --> 00:05:57,669
Mrs. Kotter, very brave, but, uh
124
00:05:57,752 --> 00:06:00,407
Mr. Kotter would have wanted it
this way.
125
00:06:00,490 --> 00:06:03,326
He's not dead, Juan.
126
00:06:03,409 --> 00:06:06,073
Alright, here, here, come on,
Vinnie, you take this one
127
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:08,019
and I'm gonna take this one
right here, huh?
128
00:06:08,039 --> 00:06:10,088
No, I don't like this bag,
it's ugly.
129
00:06:10,171 --> 00:06:11,955
Come on,
then you and Freddie switch.
130
00:06:12,004 --> 00:06:14,193
- Switch, switch.
- No, really...
131
00:06:14,276 --> 00:06:15,776
[Juan] Come on, Freddie,
I don't wanna hold the milk.
132
00:06:15,776 --> 00:06:17,435
I wanted to hold
the chicken parts.
133
00:06:17,517 --> 00:06:21,129
- I ate the chicken parts.
- Hey, I still got the eggs.
134
00:06:21,212 --> 00:06:25,198
We could grow
our own chicken parts.
135
00:06:25,249 --> 00:06:26,648
Why don't you guys
just put what's left
136
00:06:26,731 --> 00:06:28,193
of the groceries
down on the counter?
137
00:06:28,273 --> 00:06:29,941
- You betcha.
- Hey, you got it, baby.
138
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:32,123
- Right on.
- There you go.
139
00:06:32,575 --> 00:06:33,897
- Right on.
- Well, thanks a lot, guys.
140
00:06:33,981 --> 00:06:35,665
I don't wanna keep you
any longer.
141
00:06:35,748 --> 00:06:40,029
Oh, now what have we here?
142
00:06:40,029 --> 00:06:43,228
Oh, that's a sweater
that I'm knitting for the baby.
143
00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:50,457
Mrs. Kotter, he'll be fully
grown before he fits into that.
144
00:06:50,540 --> 00:06:53,564
Oh, well, I only learned
how to knit one size sweater.
145
00:06:53,564 --> 00:06:55,146
I figure, when I'm done with it
146
00:06:55,166 --> 00:06:57,469
I'll just throw it
in the washing machine.
147
00:06:57,469 --> 00:07:01,173
Can you put a new baby like that
in the washing machine?
148
00:07:05,279 --> 00:07:07,822
[sighs] Well, it's been
a really nice visit
149
00:07:07,822 --> 00:07:11,526
and I wanna thank you guys
for helping me.
150
00:07:14,130 --> 00:07:16,113
They're not going.
151
00:07:16,196 --> 00:07:19,026
Uh, look, Mrs. Kotter, we know
what you're goin' through.
152
00:07:19,109 --> 00:07:20,551
You may not believe this,
but, uh
153
00:07:20,551 --> 00:07:23,750
all of our mothers
have been pregnant.
154
00:07:24,014 --> 00:07:26,114
Not my mother.
155
00:07:26,577 --> 00:07:28,476
She's a saint.
156
00:07:28,559 --> 00:07:31,627
One day she woke up,
and there I was.
157
00:07:32,704 --> 00:07:34,463
And then there was
these three wise men.
158
00:07:34,546 --> 00:07:36,928
They all came with gifts.
159
00:07:37,018 --> 00:07:39,518
There was a waffle iron,
a toaster
160
00:07:39,601 --> 00:07:41,442
and a Donald Duck night light.
161
00:07:41,443 --> 00:07:43,252
[laughs]
162
00:07:43,335 --> 00:07:46,178
Oh, catching up on our reading,
Mrs. Kotter?
163
00:07:46,261 --> 00:07:48,059
Oh, they're all baby books.
164
00:07:48,142 --> 00:07:51,297
Oh, how nice. The kid'll have
somethin' to read.
165
00:07:52,687 --> 00:07:54,188
Oh, it's got pictures.
166
00:07:54,271 --> 00:07:55,903
[chuckles]
167
00:07:56,665 --> 00:07:58,125
Ah...
168
00:08:01,529 --> 00:08:02,989
Ah...
169
00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:05,980
Ah!
170
00:08:07,722 --> 00:08:11,684
I'm sorry, but this doesn't look
like no stork to me.
171
00:08:12,535 --> 00:08:14,457
Ah, I feel faint.
172
00:08:14,540 --> 00:08:16,738
Let me see that book.
173
00:08:19,715 --> 00:08:22,544
You know, you are so dumb,
I can't believe it.
174
00:08:22,627 --> 00:08:25,325
Storks don't bring babies
no more.
175
00:08:25,370 --> 00:08:27,568
They used to, years ago.
176
00:08:29,734 --> 00:08:32,414
But then they started
makin' mistakes
177
00:08:32,497 --> 00:08:35,761
bringin' 'em to the wrong houses
and whatnot.
178
00:08:35,844 --> 00:08:38,978
So they fired the storks.
179
00:08:39,023 --> 00:08:41,612
Now they get ladies
to have babies.
180
00:08:42,466 --> 00:08:44,794
Less trouble, more fun.
181
00:08:48,693 --> 00:08:51,238
Arnold, do you believe
that story?
182
00:08:53,377 --> 00:08:56,121
Not for a second.
183
00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:58,920
- I do.
- Thank you, Vinnie.
184
00:08:59,003 --> 00:09:02,021
You have saved me
hours of useless reading.
185
00:09:02,104 --> 00:09:04,706
Hey, Mrs. Kotter, what is this?
186
00:09:04,789 --> 00:09:06,249
"The Lamaze."
187
00:09:06,771 --> 00:09:09,839
Is that some kind of new car?
188
00:09:09,922 --> 00:09:13,144
No, Juan, that's a method
of natural childbirth.
189
00:09:13,227 --> 00:09:14,589
You see, if we use this method
190
00:09:14,629 --> 00:09:16,329
I'll be awake
during the whole thing
191
00:09:16,412 --> 00:09:19,157
and Mr. Kotter'll be there
to help me.
192
00:09:19,157 --> 00:09:22,580
And what's he gonna do?
Tell you jokes?
193
00:09:25,506 --> 00:09:27,640
No, Freddie,
you see, he'll just help.
194
00:09:27,723 --> 00:09:29,810
The doctor'll be there.
195
00:09:29,893 --> 00:09:32,997
He'd better, he's charging
$800 for the delivery.
196
00:09:33,018 --> 00:09:34,897
Eight-hundred dollars?
197
00:09:34,980 --> 00:09:38,151
Hey, you should have the baby
at my dry-cleaners.
198
00:09:38,690 --> 00:09:40,844
He has free deliveries.
199
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,638
Well, listen, I would
really love to sit here all day
200
00:09:45,721 --> 00:09:48,583
and swap prenatal experiences
with you guys, but--
201
00:09:48,602 --> 00:09:51,785
Well, I would like to oblige,
Mrs. Kotter.
202
00:09:51,785 --> 00:09:55,626
But it's been so long
since before I was born
203
00:09:55,708 --> 00:09:58,297
I've forgotten
almost all of it.
204
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:01,769
Let me put it to you this way.
205
00:10:01,852 --> 00:10:03,955
I'm a pregnant woman, right?
206
00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:06,338
- Right.
- Right. Okay.
207
00:10:06,458 --> 00:10:09,739
Now, pregnant women
have cravings.
208
00:10:09,822 --> 00:10:11,622
- Right, right.
- Right.
209
00:10:11,705 --> 00:10:12,605
I have a craving.
210
00:10:12,688 --> 00:10:15,613
- Pickles?
- Privacy.
211
00:10:15,742 --> 00:10:19,746
Oh, Mrs. Kotter,
we only came here to help.
212
00:10:19,828 --> 00:10:25,071
You see, I feel that the next
few years of your pregnancy...
213
00:10:25,794 --> 00:10:28,152
...is gonna be very difficult.
214
00:10:28,235 --> 00:10:30,098
I'll make a deal
with you, Arnold.
215
00:10:30,181 --> 00:10:33,085
If this pregnancy
goes beyond two years
216
00:10:33,125 --> 00:10:35,388
I'll call for your help.
217
00:10:35,489 --> 00:10:37,291
Hey, now, Mrs. Kotter, now
218
00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:39,135
n-now-now, don't go
gettin' all upset, alright?
219
00:10:39,135 --> 00:10:41,616
Okay, now you're gonna be
a mother, right, okay.
220
00:10:41,699 --> 00:10:45,572
But don't worry,
you're gonna get better.
221
00:10:45,655 --> 00:10:49,050
Will you stop treating pregnancy
like it's some sort of disease?
222
00:10:49,133 --> 00:10:51,138
Well, my mother thinks it is.
223
00:10:51,140 --> 00:10:53,135
[Julie sighs]
224
00:10:53,218 --> 00:10:54,717
She's been pregnant eight times,
that's right
225
00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:56,497
you count 'em, eight times.
226
00:10:56,563 --> 00:10:58,890
She's taken
to wearing garlic now.
227
00:10:59,404 --> 00:11:01,848
Uh, I think it's workin', uh...
228
00:11:01,931 --> 00:11:05,293
Now my father,
he sleeps up on the roof.
229
00:11:05,376 --> 00:11:09,059
Will you guys
just leave me alone?
230
00:11:09,142 --> 00:11:11,543
Hey, I think she's gettin'
delirious. You got a fever?
231
00:11:11,626 --> 00:11:14,194
I am not delirious,
and I don't have a fever.
232
00:11:14,210 --> 00:11:16,734
[Vinnie] Are you sure? Your face
looks kind of red, you know?
233
00:11:16,734 --> 00:11:19,212
Look, I would just
like to be by myself.
234
00:11:19,272 --> 00:11:22,876
I'm tired, I would like
to take a nap and be alone.
235
00:11:22,897 --> 00:11:26,718
Is it too much for me to ask
to be alone in my own apartment?
236
00:11:26,801 --> 00:11:28,824
Hey, take it easy.
237
00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,485
[door shuts]
238
00:11:32,568 --> 00:11:34,268
Hey, Mrs. Kotter, look, if, uh
239
00:11:34,351 --> 00:11:37,408
if you wanna call me,
I'll be at Debbie's, alright?
240
00:11:37,491 --> 00:11:40,836
If I ain't at Debbie's,
I'm at Sharon's.
241
00:11:40,919 --> 00:11:44,122
If I ain't at Sharon's,
I'm at home.
242
00:11:44,122 --> 00:11:47,292
But if I'm home, don't call me,
'cause I'm depressed.
243
00:11:48,226 --> 00:11:50,068
[Julia] Get out!
244
00:11:50,068 --> 00:11:53,563
[theme music]
245
00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,118
What are you talking about?
246
00:12:00,201 --> 00:12:02,595
Come on, why should
Mrs. Kotter be mad at us?
247
00:12:02,645 --> 00:12:05,954
Okay, alright, let me ask you
something, Vinnie.
248
00:12:05,954 --> 00:12:08,510
Now, suppose your wife
was gonna have a baby.
249
00:12:08,511 --> 00:12:11,134
- I ain't married.
- Well, it doesn't matter.
250
00:12:11,135 --> 00:12:12,796
Oh, maybe it matters to her.
251
00:12:12,797 --> 00:12:16,644
Come on, man,
come on, just pretend.
252
00:12:16,644 --> 00:12:18,744
But you don't know my wife.
253
00:12:19,224 --> 00:12:21,606
It's an example, alright?
You ain't got no wife!
254
00:12:21,689 --> 00:12:24,306
Well, wait till
she hears about this!
255
00:12:24,389 --> 00:12:26,071
It's an example, alright? Okay.
256
00:12:26,154 --> 00:12:28,073
Now, suppose your wife
was gonna have a baby, alright
257
00:12:28,155 --> 00:12:30,655
and four guys came over
and got her so mad
258
00:12:30,738 --> 00:12:33,160
she turned red and threw them
out the apartment.
259
00:12:33,181 --> 00:12:36,400
Now, you tell me,
what would you do?
260
00:12:36,483 --> 00:12:38,964
Who are those four guys?
I'd kill 'em.
261
00:12:39,042 --> 00:12:40,462
- Oh!
- Dang...
262
00:12:40,545 --> 00:12:42,639
The four guys is us.
263
00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:45,182
So now what are we gonna do?
264
00:12:45,265 --> 00:12:48,747
I'm gonna put my head
in Epstein's locker.
265
00:12:48,830 --> 00:12:52,486
Okay, but hold your breath,
it's murder in there.
266
00:12:52,569 --> 00:12:53,990
Come on, knock it off, alright?
267
00:12:54,057 --> 00:12:55,657
Now we gotta do somethin'
to make it up to her.
268
00:12:55,657 --> 00:12:57,006
Now, let's think about this.
269
00:12:57,006 --> 00:12:59,742
What would a young
expectant mother want?
270
00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:01,425
A husband.
271
00:13:04,231 --> 00:13:06,451
Mr. Kotter is the husband.
272
00:13:06,534 --> 00:13:09,839
Oh, well,
we get her a better one.
273
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:11,881
Come on,
what else would she want?
274
00:13:11,964 --> 00:13:15,141
Uh, more closet space?
275
00:13:15,224 --> 00:13:18,967
- It's obvious, a party.
- Right.
276
00:13:19,050 --> 00:13:21,150
I was gonna say that,
I was gonna say party
277
00:13:21,312 --> 00:13:23,707
I was gonna say closet space.
278
00:13:23,790 --> 00:13:25,228
[school bell ringing]
279
00:13:25,311 --> 00:13:28,174
Hey, you know,
little Juan's got a great idea.
280
00:13:28,198 --> 00:13:31,793
We'll have a surprise party.
Oh, it'll be wonderful!
281
00:13:31,876 --> 00:13:34,400
We could hang streamers
from the rafters.
282
00:13:34,482 --> 00:13:37,398
Oh, Mrs. Kotter and the baby
will love it.
283
00:13:37,466 --> 00:13:39,827
Yeah, but the baby
ain't here yet.
284
00:13:39,827 --> 00:13:43,265
So we keep the party goin'
till the kid shows up.
285
00:13:45,895 --> 00:13:50,486
Hm, thanks to you, Mr. Overly
won't be with us today.
286
00:13:51,541 --> 00:13:55,305
He called, something about
entering a monastery.
287
00:13:56,886 --> 00:14:00,591
Try to take it easier on today's
victim. He's got a family.
288
00:14:02,994 --> 00:14:06,698
I'd introduce you, but I don't
know how long you'll be here.
289
00:14:09,117 --> 00:14:11,119
[door shuts]
290
00:14:11,202 --> 00:14:12,984
[clears throat] Look, guys,
I don't want any trouble.
291
00:14:13,004 --> 00:14:14,527
I'm a married man,
and I'm just trying to earn
292
00:14:14,606 --> 00:14:17,500
a, a f-f-few extra bucks.
293
00:14:18,651 --> 00:14:20,726
I got two kids.
294
00:14:20,809 --> 00:14:24,965
[whistling]
295
00:14:33,409 --> 00:14:35,429
Two kids, huh?
296
00:14:35,512 --> 00:14:37,653
They're gonna miss ya.
297
00:14:38,463 --> 00:14:41,835
[theme music]
298
00:14:45,386 --> 00:14:46,383
You know, it was nice
of that superintendent
299
00:14:46,466 --> 00:14:48,469
to give us these keys.
300
00:14:48,552 --> 00:14:49,817
Yeah, you know what?
301
00:14:49,900 --> 00:14:51,725
We gotta do
somethin' nice for him
302
00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:53,679
like, remember to let him
out of the boiler room
303
00:14:53,695 --> 00:14:54,977
when we leave.
304
00:14:54,977 --> 00:14:56,463
[Freddie laughing]
305
00:14:56,546 --> 00:14:57,688
Now, come on, let's get busy.
306
00:14:57,748 --> 00:14:59,270
No tellin'
when she's gonna be back.
307
00:14:59,270 --> 00:15:01,707
- Hey, guys, gonna be terrific.
- Yeah, yeah!
308
00:15:01,733 --> 00:15:03,530
- Yeah, yeah!
- Listen, let's get goin'.
309
00:15:03,613 --> 00:15:05,175
- Horshack, do the dishes.
- Oh, hm.
310
00:15:05,258 --> 00:15:07,395
- Epstein, vacuum.
- Got you, Vinnie, got you.
311
00:15:07,478 --> 00:15:09,441
- You dust.
- Okay.
312
00:15:09,524 --> 00:15:12,005
- But I don't do windows.
- Alright.
313
00:15:12,088 --> 00:15:13,306
Hey, what are you gonna do,
Vinnie?
314
00:15:13,369 --> 00:15:15,523
I'm doin' the refrigerator.
315
00:15:17,552 --> 00:15:20,207
Bein' in charge
gets me hungry, you know?
316
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,901
Hey, look at this,
Mrs. Kotter's got real taste
317
00:15:22,977 --> 00:15:25,463
since she's been pregnant.
She got liverwurst.
318
00:15:25,483 --> 00:15:27,876
- She got root beer--
- Hey, Vinnie, Vinnie, bubby.
319
00:15:27,909 --> 00:15:29,710
You could help us out
by makin' the bed, there's some
320
00:15:29,793 --> 00:15:31,397
clean sheets, it looks like,
right over there.
321
00:15:31,417 --> 00:15:32,897
- Okay?
- Yeah, it's a good idea.
322
00:15:32,901 --> 00:15:35,925
I can't wait
to-to yell "Surprise."
323
00:15:41,893 --> 00:15:45,265
[imitating vacuum cleaner whirring]
324
00:15:55,379 --> 00:15:58,861
Hey! What's the matter,
you crazy or somethin'?
325
00:15:58,944 --> 00:16:00,464
You might have a lot more luck
326
00:16:00,547 --> 00:16:04,186
if you shut your mouth off
and turn this on.
327
00:16:04,269 --> 00:16:05,992
Come on, I was just practicing,
that's all.
328
00:16:06,075 --> 00:16:07,772
I was just practicing.
329
00:16:07,855 --> 00:16:10,158
Oh, what a shame.
330
00:16:10,241 --> 00:16:14,875
At such an early age,
to suffer from dishpan hands.
331
00:16:16,294 --> 00:16:20,406
Hey, hey,
I can really see myself!
332
00:16:21,062 --> 00:16:25,000
There's me and Mrs. Olsen...
333
00:16:26,790 --> 00:16:28,859
and Mr. Whipple...
334
00:16:28,942 --> 00:16:31,836
[scatting]
335
00:16:32,384 --> 00:16:34,070
[whirring]
336
00:16:34,153 --> 00:16:36,833
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!
- Hey!
337
00:16:36,916 --> 00:16:37,877
Hey!
338
00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:41,376
[clamoring]
339
00:16:45,817 --> 00:16:47,917
Put it down!
340
00:16:48,201 --> 00:16:51,617
[clamoring]
341
00:16:52,727 --> 00:16:55,042
- Alright!
- Turn it off!
342
00:16:55,125 --> 00:16:57,519
I'm-I'm trying!
343
00:16:57,602 --> 00:16:59,093
- Freddie!
- I'm trying!
344
00:16:59,176 --> 00:17:02,418
[clamoring]
345
00:17:09,617 --> 00:17:10,697
Oh, boy.
346
00:17:10,781 --> 00:17:12,304
If that's the way things work
347
00:17:12,383 --> 00:17:15,103
no wonder a woman's work
is never done.
348
00:17:15,624 --> 00:17:17,084
Ah!
349
00:17:19,741 --> 00:17:23,701
We're being attacked
by Lawrence Welk!
350
00:17:23,784 --> 00:17:26,269
Hm. Turn it off, dude!
Turn it off!
351
00:17:26,352 --> 00:17:29,463
- Turn it off!
- Turn it off, Arnold!
352
00:17:34,338 --> 00:17:37,942
You know we're doing the work
of three guys here.
353
00:17:38,025 --> 00:17:41,104
Moe, Larry and Curly.
354
00:17:41,187 --> 00:17:43,732
It does look kind of messy,
don't it?
355
00:17:43,815 --> 00:17:45,882
You think she'll notice?
356
00:17:49,167 --> 00:17:50,667
Surprise!
357
00:17:55,216 --> 00:17:56,435
[sighs]
358
00:17:56,518 --> 00:17:58,478
I don't believe it!
359
00:17:58,561 --> 00:18:03,422
I go out for ten minutes, and
I come back to a disaster movie.
360
00:18:03,505 --> 00:18:07,031
What are you guys doing here?
361
00:18:07,114 --> 00:18:09,252
Oh, we're cleanin' up.
What's it look like?
362
00:18:09,335 --> 00:18:11,849
Yeah, you see and...
363
00:18:11,849 --> 00:18:15,800
And then, a-and then,
and then we was gonna
364
00:18:15,801 --> 00:18:18,085
throw you and Kotter Junior
a surprise party.
365
00:18:18,168 --> 00:18:19,757
[chuckles]
366
00:18:21,755 --> 00:18:23,757
By the time you get done
cleaning this mess up
367
00:18:23,777 --> 00:18:26,519
it's gonna be
a graduation party.
368
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:32,098
Have to admit,
you were very thorough.
369
00:18:32,181 --> 00:18:35,242
Look, Mrs. Kotter, we really
wanted to make it up to you for
370
00:18:35,325 --> 00:18:37,826
making you so upset about what
we did to you the other day.
371
00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:39,369
Yeah.
372
00:18:40,984 --> 00:18:44,596
Well, you made me forget
about that, okay.
373
00:18:44,679 --> 00:18:48,116
Well, would it help if we said
that we were sorry?
374
00:18:49,506 --> 00:18:51,586
[sighs] I guess not.
375
00:18:51,669 --> 00:18:53,913
I guess it,
I guess it would probably help
376
00:18:53,913 --> 00:18:57,922
if we, uh, just took off
and split, huh?
377
00:18:57,922 --> 00:19:00,337
But we are sorry.
378
00:19:01,047 --> 00:19:03,385
I feel like a crumb.
379
00:19:03,468 --> 00:19:06,841
[telephone ringing]
380
00:19:09,101 --> 00:19:10,561
Hello?
381
00:19:11,344 --> 00:19:13,447
- Oh, hi, Gabe!
- Oh...
382
00:19:13,768 --> 00:19:16,097
I feel like a dead crumb.
383
00:19:19,177 --> 00:19:20,616
Oh. Lonely?
384
00:19:20,699 --> 00:19:21,799
[chuckles] How could I be lonely?
385
00:19:21,882 --> 00:19:24,689
I'm surrounded by Sweathogs.
386
00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:29,514
W-what are they doing here?
387
00:19:29,830 --> 00:19:32,215
Ms. Kotter, you let me explain.
388
00:19:32,298 --> 00:19:35,162
Woman in your condition
shouldn't have to explain.
389
00:19:35,162 --> 00:19:39,146
- Alight? I'll take care of it.
- You explain. Okay.
390
00:19:39,147 --> 00:19:40,607
Hi there.
391
00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:44,313
Yeah, yeah, Mr. Kotter,
yeah, it's Freddie. Yeah.
392
00:19:44,396 --> 00:19:48,382
How you doin'? Yeah. No, no, no.
No, you see, we were, we were...
393
00:19:48,383 --> 00:19:51,508
We was just givin' Mrs. Kotter
some tips on house cleanin'.
394
00:19:51,528 --> 00:19:52,789
- Right. Yeah.
- Can I talk to him?
395
00:19:52,789 --> 00:19:54,023
A-and Arnold wants
to say something, okay.
396
00:19:54,023 --> 00:19:55,272
Then I wanna talk to him.
397
00:19:55,273 --> 00:20:00,171
Hello, big buckaroo,
can you hear me?
398
00:20:00,172 --> 00:20:04,817
Yeah, oh, you'd be
very proud of all of us. Yes.
399
00:20:04,818 --> 00:20:07,120
Oh, one of your little friends
400
00:20:07,121 --> 00:20:09,599
wants to say hello.
401
00:20:09,605 --> 00:20:12,366
Hello there.
Uh, Juan Epstein here.
402
00:20:12,449 --> 00:20:13,771
And we wanna let you know
we got the place
403
00:20:13,771 --> 00:20:15,880
really shipshape, yes, sir.
404
00:20:18,859 --> 00:20:20,319
Hi, honey.
405
00:20:22,384 --> 00:20:23,984
Oh. Oh, no.
406
00:20:24,067 --> 00:20:26,786
He, he's telling the truth.
407
00:20:26,786 --> 00:20:29,504
You wouldn't believe
what they've done here.
408
00:20:30,931 --> 00:20:34,826
Oh, I-I could never
have done it myself.
409
00:20:37,276 --> 00:20:39,478
I miss you, too, honey.
410
00:20:39,561 --> 00:20:42,144
Yeah, we miss you, honey.
411
00:20:42,887 --> 00:20:44,347
Bye.
412
00:20:44,678 --> 00:20:48,811
Oh-oh, okay, honey.
Yeah, you hurry home.
413
00:20:48,894 --> 00:20:52,498
I love you. Bye-bye.
414
00:20:52,499 --> 00:20:54,893
Thank you
for not spillin' the beans.
415
00:20:54,914 --> 00:20:56,753
It's about the only thing
that hasn't been spilled
416
00:20:56,836 --> 00:20:58,936
in this apartment.
417
00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:03,722
Look, it took a lot
of good intentions
418
00:21:03,805 --> 00:21:07,308
to ruin an apartment this well.
419
00:21:08,732 --> 00:21:10,247
Where's my party?
420
00:21:10,330 --> 00:21:13,494
- Oh, oh, yeah, yeah.
- Alright.
421
00:21:13,578 --> 00:21:14,378
- Here's...
- Alright.
422
00:21:14,419 --> 00:21:17,422
See, this is for you.
423
00:21:17,483 --> 00:21:20,144
[chuckles]
424
00:21:20,227 --> 00:21:22,351
And this
is for the little baby.
425
00:21:22,434 --> 00:21:23,894
Oh...
426
00:21:27,938 --> 00:21:30,130
Well, I think I'll just
send it right down to him.
427
00:21:30,213 --> 00:21:32,219
- Alright.
- Ha-ha-ha...
428
00:21:32,302 --> 00:21:33,350
[indistinct chatter]
429
00:21:33,433 --> 00:21:36,848
[theme music]
430
00:21:39,363 --> 00:21:41,039
[coughs]
431
00:21:42,409 --> 00:21:43,869
Okay.
432
00:21:44,093 --> 00:21:46,729
I've got another one
out in the hall.
433
00:21:48,655 --> 00:21:49,918
I'm gonna try it again today.
434
00:21:50,002 --> 00:21:54,585
Well, we are game
if you are, huh?
435
00:21:54,585 --> 00:21:58,001
[whistling]
436
00:22:03,436 --> 00:22:06,307
[students cheering]
437
00:22:06,390 --> 00:22:08,111
Hey, we had
a pretty good week.
438
00:22:08,194 --> 00:22:10,770
That makes it three for three.
439
00:22:10,770 --> 00:22:13,249
[students cheering]
440
00:22:35,936 --> 00:22:39,308
[theme music]
441
00:22:50,273 --> 00:22:51,716
Mr. Woodman,
what are you doing here?
442
00:22:51,799 --> 00:22:53,975
Uh, Julie, I, uh, knew
your husband was out of town
443
00:22:54,046 --> 00:22:55,686
so I thought...
444
00:22:55,687 --> 00:22:59,974
Well, I like
what you've done with it.
445
00:23:00,895 --> 00:23:05,422
Sweathogs left three days ago,
I'm still cleaning up.
446
00:23:05,505 --> 00:23:07,530
- Uh, you were saying?
- Yeah, well, I, uh...
447
00:23:07,531 --> 00:23:09,653
I know Kotter likes
to tell you jokes, so I figured
448
00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:11,520
I'd drop by and tell you
the only joke I know.
449
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:14,190
- I mean, I only know one.
- How thoughtful of you.
450
00:23:14,273 --> 00:23:16,361
Yeah, well, anyway, it seems
that there was this woman.
451
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:17,838
Why don't you make it
a relative? You see...
452
00:23:17,839 --> 00:23:20,920
Gabe always makes it
one of his relatives.
453
00:23:21,004 --> 00:23:23,115
I don't have any relatives.
454
00:23:23,970 --> 00:23:26,762
Why don't you pretend?
Make it your Aunt Sophie.
455
00:23:26,845 --> 00:23:29,196
Alright, Aunt Sophie, anyway,
one day Aunt Sophie's walkin'
456
00:23:29,279 --> 00:23:31,119
down the street with a child,
right, and a man comes up to her
457
00:23:31,202 --> 00:23:34,300
and he says,
"Lady, that is the ugliest baby
458
00:23:34,383 --> 00:23:36,487
I have ever seen in my life."
459
00:23:36,571 --> 00:23:38,572
Well, Aunt Sophie gets very
upset, she runs to a policeman
460
00:23:38,634 --> 00:23:40,635
right, she tells him, "A man
just made an insulting remark
461
00:23:40,718 --> 00:23:42,328
to me," policeman says,
"Lady, calm down
462
00:23:42,340 --> 00:23:45,743
"we'll go down to the
stationhouse, fill in a report
463
00:23:45,826 --> 00:23:47,887
make you a nice cup of coffee
464
00:23:47,970 --> 00:23:51,670
might even find a banana
for your monkey."
465
00:23:51,709 --> 00:23:54,890
[laughs] You got it?
The banana, the monkey?
466
00:23:54,973 --> 00:23:57,196
I mean, this kid
was really ugly, you get it?
467
00:23:57,279 --> 00:23:59,460
[laughs] The banana, the monkey.
468
00:23:59,543 --> 00:24:02,158
See, this kid was ugly,
you understand?
469
00:24:02,241 --> 00:24:05,657
[theme music]
470
00:24:07,072 --> 00:24:09,835
[theme song]
471
00:24:14,296 --> 00:24:17,042
♪ Welcome back ♪
472
00:24:17,125 --> 00:24:20,916
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
473
00:24:20,999 --> 00:24:27,919
♪ Welcome back to that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
474
00:24:28,006 --> 00:24:32,275
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
475
00:24:32,358 --> 00:24:36,975
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
476
00:24:37,058 --> 00:24:39,064
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
477
00:24:39,147 --> 00:24:40,631
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
478
00:24:40,714 --> 00:24:42,807
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
479
00:24:42,890 --> 00:24:45,070
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
480
00:24:45,153 --> 00:24:49,118
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
481
00:24:49,201 --> 00:24:51,468
♪ Welcome back ♪
482
00:24:51,551 --> 00:24:55,820
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
483
00:24:55,903 --> 00:24:57,996
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
484
00:24:58,079 --> 00:25:00,695
♪ Welcome back ♪
485
00:25:00,778 --> 00:25:04,568
♪ We always
could spot a friend ♪
486
00:25:04,651 --> 00:25:06,348
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
36236
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