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1
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Do you know that, before
I met you my father didn't like
2
00:00:02,480 --> 00:00:04,342
any of the girls
I was goin' out with?
3
00:00:04,399 --> 00:00:05,479
Why not?
4
00:00:05,562 --> 00:00:07,162
I don't know, I used to bring
home all these girls.
5
00:00:07,245 --> 00:00:08,479
And some of them were very
nice girls,
6
00:00:08,479 --> 00:00:09,947
but my father didn't
like them.
7
00:00:09,947 --> 00:00:11,915
He said, why don't you find
me a girl just like your mother?
8
00:00:11,916 --> 00:00:12,956
Then I'll be happy.
9
00:00:13,039 --> 00:00:16,023
So I went out, I found
a girl just like my mother.
10
00:00:16,106 --> 00:00:17,066
What happened?
11
00:00:17,149 --> 00:00:17,949
Didn't work out.
12
00:00:18,030 --> 00:00:21,472
I mean, she was 58 years old,
she had...
13
00:00:21,555 --> 00:00:26,576
[applauding]
14
00:00:26,659 --> 00:00:28,119
♪♪
15
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:36,921
♪ Welcome back ♪
16
00:00:37,004 --> 00:00:40,875
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
17
00:00:40,875 --> 00:00:43,060
♪ Welcome back ♪
18
00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:47,882
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
19
00:00:47,882 --> 00:00:49,949
♪ Well the names
Have all changed
20
00:00:50,017 --> 00:00:52,136
Since you hung around ♪
21
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:54,188
♪ But those dreams
Have remained
22
00:00:54,254 --> 00:00:56,573
And they've turned around ♪
23
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:59,059
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
24
00:00:59,126 --> 00:01:00,527
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
25
00:01:00,593 --> 00:01:02,830
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
26
00:01:02,830 --> 00:01:05,065
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
27
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,867
♪ Yeah, we tease
Him a lot
28
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:09,369
'cause we got him
On the spot ♪
29
00:01:09,435 --> 00:01:11,355
♪ Welcome back ♪
30
00:01:11,438 --> 00:01:16,042
♪ Welcome back,
welcome back, welcome back ♪
31
00:01:18,879 --> 00:01:20,339
♪♪
32
00:01:26,103 --> 00:01:27,471
Hey, Freddie, how ya doin'?
33
00:01:27,554 --> 00:01:30,357
Hey, yo, Vinnie,
you got it?
34
00:01:30,370 --> 00:01:32,149
- What?
- My English homework.
35
00:01:32,232 --> 00:01:34,091
Epstein said you'd do it.
36
00:01:34,174 --> 00:01:36,694
Oh no, Freddie, man,
that went smack out of my head.
37
00:01:36,777 --> 00:01:38,479
Last night, last night, I was
sittin' down ready
38
00:01:38,518 --> 00:01:39,517
to do it, right?
39
00:01:39,600 --> 00:01:41,178
The phone rings.
40
00:01:41,261 --> 00:01:42,793
It's Kiki Kornberg.
41
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:45,042
I couldn't believe it.
42
00:01:45,125 --> 00:01:46,784
She asked me to come over
'cause she's afraid
43
00:01:46,867 --> 00:01:50,106
to watch Laverne and Shirley
alone.
44
00:01:50,106 --> 00:01:53,144
[bell ringing]
45
00:01:53,227 --> 00:01:54,848
Yeah, well, thanks a lot,
Vinnie.
46
00:01:54,855 --> 00:01:58,031
Because of you, I'mma get
an F in English.
47
00:01:58,114 --> 00:01:59,933
Freddie, look, if it makes
you feel any better
48
00:02:00,016 --> 00:02:01,048
so am I.
49
00:02:01,131 --> 00:02:04,138
[laughing]
50
00:02:04,221 --> 00:02:08,625
Well it don't,
linguine brain.
51
00:02:08,666 --> 00:02:10,334
Hey, who you callin'
linguine brain?
52
00:02:10,348 --> 00:02:12,448
Look, Freddie, I mean you
gotta be pretty stupid
53
00:02:12,531 --> 00:02:14,333
to think somebody like me
could even do...
54
00:02:14,373 --> 00:02:15,448
Stupid?
55
00:02:15,531 --> 00:02:17,394
All right, hey, hey, hey,
come on now, come on now.
56
00:02:17,477 --> 00:02:19,881
Watchin' a fight I ain't
in makes me nervous.
57
00:02:19,964 --> 00:02:21,264
I'm stupid, you don't even
know your ABC's.
58
00:02:21,264 --> 00:02:22,741
Oh sure, I don't know
my ABC's.
59
00:02:22,823 --> 00:02:27,862
[clapping]
60
00:02:27,954 --> 00:02:32,734
Hey, hey, hey, hey!
61
00:02:32,817 --> 00:02:34,634
What are you guys fightin'
about?
62
00:02:34,634 --> 00:02:36,094
Homework.
63
00:02:37,865 --> 00:02:39,966
You guys are fightin'
about homework?
64
00:02:40,049 --> 00:02:42,270
I think I'm in the wrong school.
65
00:02:42,353 --> 00:02:45,023
Look, Mr. Kotter,
Freddie's mad at Vinnie
66
00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:46,880
'cause Vinnie didn't do
Freddie's English homework,
67
00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,220
like I told him.
68
00:02:48,303 --> 00:02:50,263
Wait a second, you're mad
at Vinnie because Vinnie
69
00:02:50,346 --> 00:02:51,268
didn't do his homework?
70
00:02:51,268 --> 00:02:52,604
Nah.
71
00:02:52,687 --> 00:02:54,310
Oh, then Vinnie did do
his homework.
72
00:02:54,393 --> 00:02:55,375
No.
73
00:02:55,458 --> 00:02:56,857
Well that's stupid, I mean
why would I think
74
00:02:56,940 --> 00:02:59,008
that Vinnie's gonna do
his homework?
75
00:02:59,063 --> 00:03:00,502
Look, Mr. Kotter, nobody cares
whether Vinnie
76
00:03:00,585 --> 00:03:01,564
does his homework.
77
00:03:01,647 --> 00:03:03,409
Vinnie didn't do Freddie's
English homework,
78
00:03:03,492 --> 00:03:04,528
like I told him!
79
00:03:04,611 --> 00:03:06,710
Wait a minute!
80
00:03:08,997 --> 00:03:10,966
Vinnie didn't do Freddie's
English homework
81
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:12,833
like Juan told him.
82
00:03:12,843 --> 00:03:15,343
Did Juan do anybody's homework?
83
00:03:15,425 --> 00:03:17,727
Did Freddie do anybody's
homework?
84
00:03:17,810 --> 00:03:22,754
Why would anybody
do Vinnie's homework?
85
00:03:23,023 --> 00:03:24,205
All right, good morning.
86
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,351
Now, I know I'm gonna hate
myself for saying this,
87
00:03:26,351 --> 00:03:29,622
but will you all please take out
your social studies homework.
88
00:03:29,622 --> 00:03:31,958
Now, yesterday we were talkin'
about the Renaissance
89
00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,660
and their prize possessions.
90
00:03:33,743 --> 00:03:35,479
And I thought it would be
a nice thing if you all
91
00:03:35,506 --> 00:03:39,010
wrote about or brought in
your own prize possession.
92
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,855
Mr. Kotter, I would like
to go first, all right?
93
00:03:41,938 --> 00:03:44,440
Now I know I'm in the
wrong school.
94
00:03:44,523 --> 00:03:48,630
All right, my most prize
possession is this,
95
00:03:48,631 --> 00:03:50,192
my little black book.
96
00:03:50,192 --> 00:03:53,903
[laughing]
97
00:03:53,986 --> 00:03:58,208
Now, all little Renaissance kids
had these little black books.
98
00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:00,433
Now you're probably askin'
yourselves,
99
00:04:00,433 --> 00:04:03,702
why is there a letter after
each of these girls names?
100
00:04:03,755 --> 00:04:06,557
[laughing]
101
00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:08,100
No.
102
00:04:08,400 --> 00:04:10,602
Well, I'm glad you asked.
103
00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:13,654
Now, this is the Vinnie
Barbarino rating system.
104
00:04:13,728 --> 00:04:18,499
Now, PG, PG means pretty good.
105
00:04:18,582 --> 00:04:23,022
And R, R means really good.
106
00:04:23,106 --> 00:04:26,831
I know I shouldn't ask,
Vinnie, but what does X mean?
107
00:04:26,831 --> 00:04:28,291
Dolores DelVecchio.
108
00:04:30,717 --> 00:04:32,176
Dolores DelVecchio.
109
00:04:34,219 --> 00:04:35,661
Okay, Freddie, you, next.
110
00:04:35,744 --> 00:04:38,788
My most prize possession,
I got it for you, baby.
111
00:04:38,788 --> 00:04:40,391
Homework, huh-ha.
112
00:04:40,474 --> 00:04:41,934
Right.
113
00:04:44,315 --> 00:04:50,176
Oh, may I present my
pet flea, Howard.
114
00:04:50,176 --> 00:04:51,636
Oh.
115
00:04:53,858 --> 00:04:57,094
Where'd you find him, Freddie,
in Epstein's hair?
116
00:04:57,137 --> 00:05:01,967
[laughing]
117
00:05:02,051 --> 00:05:03,669
[hitting]
118
00:05:03,753 --> 00:05:06,094
You know, Arnold, you're really
developing quite a...
119
00:05:06,177 --> 00:05:08,818
Sophisticated sense of humor.
120
00:05:08,901 --> 00:05:10,581
I was wonderin' how much
laughin' you're gonna do
121
00:05:10,664 --> 00:05:12,764
without a tongue.
122
00:05:13,548 --> 00:05:15,228
You know, Freddie, somehow
I get the feeling
123
00:05:15,311 --> 00:05:16,812
that you didn't do your
homework.
124
00:05:16,833 --> 00:05:19,734
Me, forget my homework?
125
00:05:19,817 --> 00:05:20,759
Did you hear that?
126
00:05:20,759 --> 00:05:23,128
Howard did you hear...
127
00:05:23,234 --> 00:05:25,714
Where's Howard?
128
00:05:25,797 --> 00:05:28,234
Now you made me drop him.
129
00:05:28,317 --> 00:05:30,978
Oh, here he is, Freddie.
130
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,462
Come home, Howard.
131
00:05:32,545 --> 00:05:34,645
Oh, little Howard.
132
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:36,345
Oh, thank you, my man.
133
00:05:36,428 --> 00:05:38,998
Hey, give me five.
134
00:05:38,999 --> 00:05:43,734
[laughing]
135
00:05:43,818 --> 00:05:46,641
Will you guys cut that out?
136
00:05:46,661 --> 00:05:47,523
You, down!
137
00:05:47,563 --> 00:05:48,840
You, down!
138
00:05:48,924 --> 00:05:51,046
You, up!
139
00:05:59,283 --> 00:06:00,558
Oh.
140
00:06:00,642 --> 00:06:02,747
This here's my dingy.
141
00:06:02,830 --> 00:06:06,087
[laughing]
142
00:06:06,170 --> 00:06:08,972
Very impressive, Juan.
143
00:06:09,055 --> 00:06:10,734
Yup, it's made out of...
144
00:06:10,817 --> 00:06:13,101
You know, the Horshacks
have always been
145
00:06:13,101 --> 00:06:15,262
a seafaring men.
146
00:06:15,303 --> 00:06:16,256
I used Elmer's...
147
00:06:16,266 --> 00:06:21,238
It was Popeye Horshack
who discovered Coney Island.
148
00:06:21,321 --> 00:06:22,763
Took me 12 weeks...
149
00:06:22,846 --> 00:06:24,970
Oh, to go down to the sea...
150
00:06:24,971 --> 00:06:27,239
Horshack, will you sit down?
151
00:06:27,316 --> 00:06:31,079
[gasping]
152
00:06:31,162 --> 00:06:32,622
Oh, boy!
153
00:06:34,426 --> 00:06:38,063
I sat on your dingy.
154
00:06:41,236 --> 00:06:43,135
Horshack, you squirrel.
155
00:06:43,219 --> 00:06:44,458
How could you do that?
156
00:06:44,541 --> 00:06:45,712
Like this.
157
00:06:45,796 --> 00:06:49,767
[yelling]
158
00:06:49,850 --> 00:06:52,270
Oh, Juan, I'm sorry.
159
00:06:52,354 --> 00:06:54,013
Oh, sorry's an easy thing
to say.
160
00:06:54,096 --> 00:06:56,150
Oh, Juan, I'm really sorry,
I said...
161
00:06:56,234 --> 00:06:57,755
Wait a minute, Juan, Juan, Juan,
Juan, Juan, Juan,
162
00:06:57,839 --> 00:06:59,238
just take it easy, all right,
just take it...
163
00:06:59,239 --> 00:07:01,942
I mean, I mean, this ship
ain't a total wreck, you know?
164
00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:02,976
I mean, you can still use
one of these things
165
00:07:02,983 --> 00:07:05,083
to get something
out of your teeth.
166
00:07:06,005 --> 00:07:08,281
All right, look, Juan,
Arnold said he...
167
00:07:08,364 --> 00:07:09,766
What do you know about
homework, Freddie, huh?
168
00:07:09,849 --> 00:07:11,716
What do you know about homework?
169
00:07:11,751 --> 00:07:14,133
You didn't even do your
homework.
170
00:07:14,153 --> 00:07:17,091
No, you just... you just tried
that Howard the flea bit.
171
00:07:17,174 --> 00:07:19,175
Come on, it didn't work
last semester in algebra,
172
00:07:19,237 --> 00:07:21,176
it ain't gonna work now.
173
00:07:21,259 --> 00:07:23,920
Even Kotter ain't that stupid.
174
00:07:25,146 --> 00:07:28,788
Well, it ain't like bein'
responsible for somebody
175
00:07:28,871 --> 00:07:30,873
gettin' a f in English.
176
00:07:30,914 --> 00:07:34,881
Oh, now Freddie's right, Vinnie.
177
00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:37,542
You should not have let
him down.
178
00:07:37,625 --> 00:07:40,695
You didn't ' see me forgettin'
to do your social studies
179
00:07:40,770 --> 00:07:44,730
homework last week, oh no...
180
00:07:44,730 --> 00:07:47,028
Horshack, will you just keep
quiet, will ya?
181
00:07:47,111 --> 00:07:48,212
Right in front of the teacher.
182
00:07:48,295 --> 00:07:50,198
You didn't have to tell him
you did my homework.
183
00:07:50,198 --> 00:07:51,200
You're so stupid sometimes!
184
00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:52,439
Well now I'm glad...
185
00:07:52,522 --> 00:07:55,706
Hello, hello, hello.
186
00:07:56,288 --> 00:07:57,483
Remember me?
187
00:07:57,566 --> 00:08:01,753
Teacher, Mr. Kotter,
authority figure.
188
00:08:01,836 --> 00:08:03,176
You people have given me
a headache
189
00:08:03,259 --> 00:08:05,319
with all this arguing.
190
00:08:05,402 --> 00:08:07,262
I'm gonna go outside
and take these aspirins
191
00:08:07,345 --> 00:08:10,981
and when I come back,
we're gonna continue with class.
192
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:13,634
There'll be no talking
while I'm gone.
193
00:08:13,634 --> 00:08:15,196
No talking.
194
00:08:17,334 --> 00:08:19,403
[door closing]
195
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:31,028
Hey, Horshack, big news flash,
you're short.
196
00:08:31,111 --> 00:08:32,088
Ha!
197
00:08:32,171 --> 00:08:33,708
You too, munchkin.
198
00:08:33,791 --> 00:08:35,251
Ha!
199
00:08:35,846 --> 00:08:38,927
The whole room is short.
200
00:08:39,010 --> 00:08:42,054
Hi, there.
201
00:08:42,799 --> 00:08:44,259
I'm tall.
202
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:48,564
Hey, Freddie, I had it about
up to here with the,
203
00:08:48,765 --> 00:08:50,706
hi, there.
204
00:08:50,908 --> 00:08:53,008
Hi, there bit.
205
00:08:53,472 --> 00:08:54,851
Yeah, Freddie.
206
00:08:54,934 --> 00:08:59,839
You know, you are not
so elegant.
207
00:08:59,922 --> 00:09:03,227
You are from Brooklyn,
just like the rest of us.
208
00:09:03,248 --> 00:09:05,090
Oh, yeah, well let me tell
you somethin' else,
209
00:09:05,130 --> 00:09:06,329
little Mr. Horshack.
210
00:09:06,412 --> 00:09:10,627
I'm sick and tired
of that stupid laugh of yours.
211
00:09:10,710 --> 00:09:15,036
[mocking laugh]
212
00:09:15,119 --> 00:09:16,665
Yeah, yeah, you sound like
a '57 Pontiac
213
00:09:16,748 --> 00:09:19,353
without a muffler.
214
00:09:19,436 --> 00:09:24,523
And what are you laughing at,
Epstein?
215
00:09:24,554 --> 00:09:28,981
Run out of phony
notes from home?
216
00:09:29,582 --> 00:09:35,388
Dear Mr. Kotter, please excuse
Juan for being a sheep head.
217
00:09:35,550 --> 00:09:40,455
Signed, Epstein's mother's
veterinarian.
218
00:09:43,082 --> 00:09:44,582
Juan!
219
00:09:45,646 --> 00:09:47,520
[laughing]
220
00:09:47,603 --> 00:09:49,925
You like that slapstick,
huh, Vinnie?
221
00:09:49,925 --> 00:09:50,964
What?
222
00:09:51,047 --> 00:09:52,007
What?
223
00:09:52,090 --> 00:09:53,590
Where?
224
00:09:54,794 --> 00:09:55,871
When?
225
00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:57,974
That's some vocabulary, Vinnie.
226
00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:01,326
You know what you are,
you're a walkin' question mark.
227
00:10:01,409 --> 00:10:04,625
Duh-da, duh-da.
228
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:06,508
You makin' fun of me?
229
00:10:06,591 --> 00:10:08,051
Wha?
230
00:10:08,831 --> 00:10:10,293
Listen, I got somethin'
to tell you.
231
00:10:10,376 --> 00:10:12,199
Your sister, Juan,
your sister.
232
00:10:12,282 --> 00:10:13,238
Oh, yeah?
233
00:10:13,321 --> 00:10:18,524
Forget my sister,
your mother!
234
00:10:18,607 --> 00:10:19,930
Not my mother, that woman's
a Saint.
235
00:10:20,013 --> 00:10:21,473
Oh, yeah?
236
00:10:21,997 --> 00:10:25,758
The light around her head
don't fool me.
237
00:10:25,841 --> 00:10:28,467
Yeah, well, I gotta message
for you, all right.
238
00:10:28,550 --> 00:10:32,312
In your pants with
a bag of ants.
239
00:10:32,395 --> 00:10:35,970
Oh, yeah, well in your pockets
with red hot rockets.
240
00:10:36,053 --> 00:10:37,013
Oh, really?
241
00:10:37,096 --> 00:10:40,158
Well in all your pockets
with red hot rockets.
242
00:10:40,213 --> 00:10:41,749
Hey, are you talkin' to me?
243
00:10:41,798 --> 00:10:42,799
Are you talkin' to me?
244
00:10:42,838 --> 00:10:43,946
Are you talkin' to me?
245
00:10:43,946 --> 00:10:45,248
Well, are you talkin'...
246
00:10:45,331 --> 00:10:46,666
You must be talkin' to me.
247
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,283
Are you talkin' to me?
248
00:10:48,350 --> 00:10:50,284
Don't look at me when
you're not talkin' to me.
249
00:10:50,351 --> 00:10:52,604
[whistle blowing]
250
00:10:52,687 --> 00:10:55,457
Up your noses with rubber hoses.
251
00:10:55,535 --> 00:10:56,674
You talkin' to us?
252
00:10:56,757 --> 00:10:57,959
Hey, he talkin' to us?
253
00:10:58,026 --> 00:10:59,581
He must be talkin' to us.
254
00:10:59,663 --> 00:11:01,082
[whistle blowing]
255
00:11:01,165 --> 00:11:03,919
All right, that's
a personal foul.
256
00:11:04,002 --> 00:11:07,955
Sweathogs,15 yard penalty.
257
00:11:08,038 --> 00:11:11,726
First down, Kotter.
258
00:11:11,809 --> 00:11:14,549
[clapping]
259
00:11:14,631 --> 00:11:17,476
All right, I understand that
when you're angry,
260
00:11:17,555 --> 00:11:19,357
the littlest thing
can tee you off.
261
00:11:19,357 --> 00:11:24,162
I also understand how yelling
like schlemiels satisfies
262
00:11:24,245 --> 00:11:27,247
this need you have
to let it out.
263
00:11:27,309 --> 00:11:28,910
I also am a person.
264
00:11:28,910 --> 00:11:34,315
I have a need to let it out,
in the school.
265
00:11:34,540 --> 00:11:35,540
Class!
266
00:11:35,623 --> 00:11:37,343
No yelling.
267
00:11:37,445 --> 00:11:39,086
No yelling.
268
00:11:41,426 --> 00:11:44,630
Hey, Mr. Kotter,
you right.
269
00:11:44,713 --> 00:11:46,695
There should be no more yelling.
270
00:11:46,778 --> 00:11:52,518
And besides, I ain't even
talkin' to these punks.
271
00:11:52,601 --> 00:11:54,543
Yeah, well I'll do
better than that.
272
00:11:54,563 --> 00:11:56,232
None of you's my
friend no more.
273
00:11:56,265 --> 00:11:58,607
I second that punk's motion.
274
00:11:58,607 --> 00:12:01,410
I third that punk's motion.
275
00:12:01,410 --> 00:12:04,978
With a cherry on the top.
276
00:12:07,537 --> 00:12:08,915
That's terrific.
277
00:12:08,998 --> 00:12:11,502
You guys look like
a delinquent Mount Rushmore.
278
00:12:11,585 --> 00:12:15,122
[laughing]
279
00:12:15,205 --> 00:12:17,167
Oh, come on, Arnold, shake hands
with Juan.
280
00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:18,708
Come on, you're friends,
this has gone far enough.
281
00:12:18,708 --> 00:12:20,009
Come on, will you shake...
282
00:12:20,070 --> 00:12:22,170
Guys, come on!
283
00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,591
Freddie, come on, shake hands
with Vinnie.
284
00:12:23,674 --> 00:12:25,696
Start over, come on, this is
getting out of hand here.
285
00:12:25,716 --> 00:12:26,651
Will you shake hands?
286
00:12:26,677 --> 00:12:28,137
Vinnie?
287
00:12:30,253 --> 00:12:31,054
All right.
288
00:12:31,137 --> 00:12:33,381
It's what you want,
it's fine with me.
289
00:12:33,381 --> 00:12:34,962
I'll just sit here
for the rest of the period.
290
00:12:35,045 --> 00:12:37,287
I'll read my paper, okay?
291
00:12:37,308 --> 00:12:41,513
We'll have this total period
in complete silence.
292
00:12:44,341 --> 00:12:46,540
Oh, uh, Kotter...
293
00:12:46,623 --> 00:12:49,559
[laughing]
294
00:12:53,096 --> 00:12:56,044
Now, that's teaching, Kotter!
295
00:12:56,127 --> 00:12:57,587
♪♪
296
00:13:05,346 --> 00:13:07,568
Honey, would you eat?
297
00:13:08,309 --> 00:13:09,409
Julie, what am I gonna do?
298
00:13:09,492 --> 00:13:12,375
Kids won't talk to each other,
and I can't teach them anything.
299
00:13:12,456 --> 00:13:15,475
Well, what ever you do,
eat first.
300
00:13:15,558 --> 00:13:19,203
I tried something new
with the tuna casserole.
301
00:13:19,285 --> 00:13:22,250
The hard things are coffee
beans.
302
00:13:22,333 --> 00:13:25,102
[laughing]
303
00:13:29,182 --> 00:13:32,815
That's just wonderful, Julie,
that's just wonderful.
304
00:13:32,898 --> 00:13:34,181
Mrs. Ulcer never comes over.
305
00:13:34,201 --> 00:13:36,301
She can have mine.
306
00:13:38,669 --> 00:13:41,051
You know, sometimes I get
the feeling that you
307
00:13:41,134 --> 00:13:45,443
wouldn't like my tuna casserole
no matter what I put in it.
308
00:13:45,443 --> 00:13:50,069
A lot of people, Julie,
are afraid to go down
309
00:13:50,152 --> 00:13:55,538
to the ocean because
they've seen jaws.
310
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:59,037
I am afraid to go down
to the ocean
311
00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,522
because I think I will get
attacked by
312
00:14:01,563 --> 00:14:06,064
a giant tuna casserole.
313
00:14:07,206 --> 00:14:10,582
[applauding]
314
00:14:10,665 --> 00:14:13,435
You're a very, very funny man.
315
00:14:13,518 --> 00:14:15,660
Gabe, go, Gabe, go away.
316
00:14:15,698 --> 00:14:17,865
You're not funny, Gabe.
317
00:14:18,261 --> 00:14:19,061
Gabe, this isn't...
318
00:14:19,061 --> 00:14:21,362
Gabe, go away, away!
319
00:14:21,445 --> 00:14:23,545
Far away, go!
320
00:14:25,119 --> 00:14:29,463
Listen, since we're unburdening
ourselves,
321
00:14:29,463 --> 00:14:33,687
it's no petunia patch
living with you, fella.
322
00:14:33,687 --> 00:14:37,067
You think I like spending my
entire life listening
323
00:14:37,150 --> 00:14:41,614
to your stupid jokes?
324
00:14:42,796 --> 00:14:46,757
Julie, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Abdul?
325
00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,243
Julie, did I ever tell you
about my Aunt Sophie?
326
00:14:50,252 --> 00:14:54,319
[door knocking]
327
00:14:54,402 --> 00:14:57,504
You wanna know why I tell
jokes, Julie?
328
00:14:57,587 --> 00:14:59,707
Cause I need to do somethin
to cheer myself up
329
00:14:59,790 --> 00:15:02,294
after one of your meals.
330
00:15:04,999 --> 00:15:08,739
Mr. Kotter, I gotta talk to you
about the fight we's all havin'.
331
00:15:08,822 --> 00:15:10,824
Not now, I'm right
in the middle of a fight.
332
00:15:10,907 --> 00:15:12,069
Hi, Mrs. Kotter.
333
00:15:12,089 --> 00:15:13,468
Listen though, it's important.
334
00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:16,355
Like I'm the leader
of the Sweathogs, right?
335
00:15:16,375 --> 00:15:18,912
Well, how am I supposed to get
anybody to follow my orders
336
00:15:18,939 --> 00:15:21,186
if nobody'll even talk to me?
337
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:23,830
Vinnie, when you have a fight
over something stupid,
338
00:15:23,830 --> 00:15:25,490
what you have to do
is you have to try
339
00:15:25,573 --> 00:15:27,442
and remember what the people
you're fighting with
340
00:15:27,476 --> 00:15:29,700
really mean to you.
341
00:15:32,826 --> 00:15:34,365
And you have to be
a big enough person
342
00:15:34,448 --> 00:15:36,368
to say you're sorry.
343
00:15:36,451 --> 00:15:38,551
I'm sorry, Julie.
344
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,315
Me too.
345
00:15:41,319 --> 00:15:44,860
What are you guys
apologizin' for?
346
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:48,079
You ain't the ones who didn't
do Freddie's homework.
347
00:15:48,162 --> 00:15:49,584
Come on, Vinnie.
348
00:15:49,604 --> 00:15:51,287
Get that chair and come have
some dessert with us.
349
00:15:51,327 --> 00:15:52,139
Come on, honey.
350
00:15:52,149 --> 00:15:54,189
Mr. Kotter always thinks
better with whipped cream
351
00:15:54,272 --> 00:15:56,351
on his mustache.
352
00:15:56,434 --> 00:15:58,718
Come on, sit down, Vinnie.
353
00:15:58,801 --> 00:15:59,801
That's real nice of you.
354
00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:02,185
I'll get some plates.
355
00:16:02,326 --> 00:16:03,906
Ah, let's see what do we got?
356
00:16:03,989 --> 00:16:06,053
Oh, boy, these are my favorites!
357
00:16:06,053 --> 00:16:07,592
I'll enjoy this anyway.
358
00:16:07,675 --> 00:16:11,940
Strawberry tarts, you like
strawberry tarts, Vinnie?
359
00:16:12,023 --> 00:16:14,123
They're all right.
360
00:16:15,490 --> 00:16:17,852
Look, Julie, you know, when the
Sweathogs have a problem,
361
00:16:17,872 --> 00:16:18,972
you know how that makes me...
362
00:16:18,972 --> 00:16:21,673
You got chocolate pudding?
363
00:16:21,756 --> 00:16:23,535
We don't have any chocolate
pudding, do we, Julie?
364
00:16:23,618 --> 00:16:24,618
No, we don't have any.
365
00:16:24,618 --> 00:16:25,940
We don't have any chocolate
pudding.
366
00:16:25,941 --> 00:16:27,862
They have a problem, and they
won't talk to each other.
367
00:16:27,862 --> 00:16:29,162
And if they won't talk
to each other,
368
00:16:29,163 --> 00:16:30,163
I can't teach 'em anything.
369
00:16:30,163 --> 00:16:31,965
And if I can't teach 'em
anything, I just get cranky.
370
00:16:31,966 --> 00:16:33,168
I know, honey, but...
371
00:16:33,168 --> 00:16:36,391
How 'bout spumoni,
you got spumoni?
372
00:16:36,392 --> 00:16:37,492
Do we have any ice cream?
373
00:16:37,492 --> 00:16:38,292
No.
374
00:16:38,293 --> 00:16:40,132
We have tarts, Vinnie.
375
00:16:40,215 --> 00:16:42,817
Tarts, that's it!
376
00:16:42,900 --> 00:16:44,562
Look, I know that, honey.
377
00:16:44,582 --> 00:16:47,204
But when you keep making
jokes about my tuna Cas...
378
00:16:47,205 --> 00:16:48,280
How 'but Danish?
379
00:16:48,363 --> 00:16:52,942
You got like Cherry danish,
nice Cherry danish?
380
00:16:53,025 --> 00:16:55,347
Vinnie, look, you wanna have
dessert, have a tart.
381
00:16:55,430 --> 00:16:57,172
If you don't wanna have
a tart, don't have anything.
382
00:16:57,192 --> 00:16:58,674
That's all we have, okay,
is tarts.
383
00:16:58,674 --> 00:16:59,474
Okay.
384
00:16:59,475 --> 00:17:01,236
Julie, when you say things
about my jokes,
385
00:17:01,237 --> 00:17:02,499
you know how that makes
me feel.
386
00:17:02,499 --> 00:17:03,599
It wouldn't have to be cherry.
387
00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:07,237
It could be like you know,
prune or cheese.
388
00:17:07,277 --> 00:17:12,754
We could send out.
389
00:17:12,838 --> 00:17:15,178
Wanna know what the biggest
joke in this house is?
390
00:17:15,261 --> 00:17:16,613
- What?
- Your tuna casserole.
391
00:17:16,623 --> 00:17:19,999
If you just wouldn't make
tuna casserole anymore, I
mean...
392
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,535
Gabe, you wanna know what
I think
393
00:17:23,536 --> 00:17:27,408
about your Uncle Abdul?
394
00:17:28,690 --> 00:17:32,193
[laughing]
395
00:17:35,863 --> 00:17:37,084
I don't believe
you did that, Julie.
396
00:17:37,167 --> 00:17:38,950
Believe it.
397
00:17:41,626 --> 00:17:45,129
Wanna know what I think
about your family, Julie?
398
00:17:45,423 --> 00:17:48,793
I have something I'd like you
to send back to Nebraska.
399
00:17:48,877 --> 00:17:50,818
Special delivery.
400
00:17:51,109 --> 00:17:53,628
[laughing]
401
00:17:53,711 --> 00:17:56,979
[applauding]
402
00:17:59,350 --> 00:18:01,213
How 'bout espresso?
403
00:18:01,296 --> 00:18:04,582
You got some nice espresso?
404
00:18:04,666 --> 00:18:08,803
My mother, my mother, she
always gives espresso.
405
00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:10,986
Only the finest.
406
00:18:13,571 --> 00:18:15,806
[clapping]
407
00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:27,272
[bell ringing]
408
00:18:27,355 --> 00:18:29,791
[shuffling]
409
00:18:37,319 --> 00:18:40,102
Mr. Woodman, I have a favor
to ask of you, a request.
410
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,328
I don't take request, Kotter.
411
00:18:41,348 --> 00:18:44,612
What do I look like,
Wolfman Jack?
412
00:18:46,854 --> 00:18:48,155
What I am is what you get.
413
00:18:48,238 --> 00:18:50,338
Just a second.
414
00:18:51,053 --> 00:18:53,622
This is a school oriented
request.
415
00:18:53,705 --> 00:18:56,328
Is this one of your hair-brained
schemes, Kotter?
416
00:18:56,411 --> 00:18:57,487
Well, yeah, sorta, look.
417
00:18:57,571 --> 00:18:59,091
What I'd like you to do is
come into my class
418
00:18:59,174 --> 00:19:01,336
and apologize to me,
and let me forgive you.
419
00:19:01,336 --> 00:19:02,905
It'll really mean a lot.
420
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:05,742
But I have nothing
to apologize for, Kotter.
421
00:19:05,762 --> 00:19:08,325
Mr. Woodman, it's not who
apologizes,
422
00:19:08,365 --> 00:19:09,747
it's the apology that's
the important thing.
423
00:19:09,767 --> 00:19:12,109
So you can come in and I'll
apologize to you,
424
00:19:12,130 --> 00:19:13,612
and you forgive me,
how's that, okay?
425
00:19:13,612 --> 00:19:15,335
Okay, that sounds pretty good.
426
00:19:15,355 --> 00:19:16,176
Okay.
427
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:17,533
Come right in, okay?
428
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,076
Okay.
429
00:19:20,558 --> 00:19:21,560
Hi, good morning, everybody.
430
00:19:21,643 --> 00:19:24,065
- Now, today...
- Now, Kotter?
431
00:19:24,386 --> 00:19:26,350
It's Mr. Woodman, what
a surprise!
432
00:19:26,350 --> 00:19:28,851
Mr. Woodman, Oh, come on in,
Mr. Woodman.
433
00:19:28,935 --> 00:19:31,157
Mr. Woodman, you know
something, I've been meaning
434
00:19:31,240 --> 00:19:33,705
to apologize to you for 10
years now.
435
00:19:33,725 --> 00:19:36,891
I'm the guy that put
the catnip in your thermos.
436
00:19:36,891 --> 00:19:39,513
You did that, Kotter?
437
00:19:39,596 --> 00:19:41,320
Yes I did, and I apologize.
438
00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:43,060
Do you forgive me?
439
00:19:43,143 --> 00:19:48,014
I had to be rushed to an
animal hospital.
440
00:19:48,098 --> 00:19:49,209
I'm sorry, Mr. Woodman.
441
00:19:49,219 --> 00:19:51,627
But remember, forgiving
is an important thing.
442
00:19:51,710 --> 00:19:54,580
That was three hours
in an animal hospital.
443
00:19:54,664 --> 00:19:56,846
I mean, I didn't mind that vet
rubbing my stomach,
444
00:19:56,886 --> 00:20:02,225
but I got awful tired of playin'
with that stupid, rubber mouse.
445
00:20:04,610 --> 00:20:07,233
Mr. Woodman, I apologize.
446
00:20:07,316 --> 00:20:09,578
Now, you accept my apology?
447
00:20:09,578 --> 00:20:11,200
Why should I accept
your apology?
448
00:20:11,283 --> 00:20:12,417
Listen to yourself.
449
00:20:12,501 --> 00:20:16,325
You apologize too easily,
Kotter.
450
00:20:16,805 --> 00:20:18,265
Mr. Woodman!
451
00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:25,425
Well, we were never what
you would call close, anyway.
452
00:20:25,508 --> 00:20:29,350
Mr. Kotter, would you mind
keeping it down?
453
00:20:29,434 --> 00:20:34,004
There's people trying
to be angry here.
454
00:20:34,282 --> 00:20:37,452
Vinnie, are you the leader
of the Sweathogs?
455
00:20:37,535 --> 00:20:41,980
Yeah, they ain't my friends but
they still gotta do what I say.
456
00:20:42,053 --> 00:20:44,336
Okay, okay, now let me
see you lead.
457
00:20:44,356 --> 00:20:46,837
We got a problem here
and it's not gonna be solved
458
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:48,639
until there's an apology.
459
00:20:48,723 --> 00:20:51,026
So go ahead, leader,
do your stuff.
460
00:20:51,106 --> 00:20:54,730
That's right, there's gotta be
an apology here.
461
00:20:54,813 --> 00:20:56,615
Horshack, apologize.
462
00:20:59,020 --> 00:21:03,407
I was gonna do it anyways,
Vinnie.
463
00:21:03,888 --> 00:21:08,326
Hey, Juan, I'm really
and truly sorry
464
00:21:08,397 --> 00:21:10,633
for sitting on your dingy.
465
00:21:10,633 --> 00:21:13,006
[laughing]
466
00:21:13,090 --> 00:21:14,968
Oh, and here, Juan.
467
00:21:15,052 --> 00:21:16,791
These are for you.
468
00:21:16,874 --> 00:21:20,416
Enough toothpicks to make
and even bigger dingy.
469
00:21:20,499 --> 00:21:22,641
See, I got the ones with
the cellophane top,
470
00:21:22,641 --> 00:21:27,948
the little curly things,
real pretty, classy.
471
00:21:28,108 --> 00:21:31,476
Oh, Juan, to get these,
I had to crash
472
00:21:31,532 --> 00:21:35,236
so many bar mitzvahs.
473
00:21:38,420 --> 00:21:39,880
Well...
474
00:21:41,323 --> 00:21:44,129
There they are anyways.
475
00:21:44,213 --> 00:21:47,794
Look, look, look, yesterday,
yesterday I asked you people
476
00:21:47,877 --> 00:21:51,140
to bring in your most
prize possessions, right?
477
00:21:51,140 --> 00:21:53,823
You guys have a possession
that's more valuable
478
00:21:53,823 --> 00:21:56,562
than broken dingies
and forgotten homework.
479
00:21:56,646 --> 00:21:57,783
You've got your friendship.
480
00:21:57,867 --> 00:21:59,686
You're really close.
481
00:21:59,769 --> 00:22:02,052
Now, that's somethin'
you should fight to keep,
482
00:22:02,052 --> 00:22:03,887
not give up.
483
00:22:03,970 --> 00:22:06,974
Juan you do whatever you want,
but you're a sucker
484
00:22:07,057 --> 00:22:08,238
if you blow it.
485
00:22:08,321 --> 00:22:11,804
Look, Mr. Kotter, for a guy like
me, it ain't that easy.
486
00:22:11,845 --> 00:22:15,126
I can forgive,
but I can't forget.
487
00:22:15,209 --> 00:22:19,311
But that don't mean we ain't
pals, Arnold.
488
00:22:19,733 --> 00:22:21,313
Oh, Juan!
489
00:22:23,194 --> 00:22:25,115
You little Juan!
490
00:22:25,198 --> 00:22:27,298
You little Horshack!
491
00:22:28,722 --> 00:22:32,292
Okay, now what about the rest
of you?
492
00:22:38,786 --> 00:22:42,889
I'm really sorry for not
doin' your homework, all right?
493
00:22:45,737 --> 00:22:47,524
That's okay, Vinnie.
494
00:22:47,608 --> 00:22:52,345
I probably would've been
worse off if you did do it.
495
00:22:52,428 --> 00:22:54,669
Hey, you know, I know this is
an off the wall idea
496
00:22:54,752 --> 00:22:59,359
but you people might consider
doing your own homework.
497
00:22:59,359 --> 00:23:03,663
Oh, Freddie, I'm so sorry
for the things I said.
498
00:23:03,746 --> 00:23:05,709
I didn't mean it.
499
00:23:05,710 --> 00:23:07,999
Vinnie, oh, Vinnie.
500
00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:11,676
[whistle blowing]
501
00:23:11,759 --> 00:23:15,760
Over apologizing, five yard
penalty, Sweathogs.
502
00:23:15,843 --> 00:23:19,297
First and 10, Kotter.
503
00:23:19,380 --> 00:23:22,233
[clapping]
504
00:23:22,316 --> 00:23:23,776
♪♪
505
00:23:32,093 --> 00:23:33,553
♪♪
506
00:23:39,968 --> 00:23:42,520
♪ Welcome back ♪
507
00:23:42,603 --> 00:23:46,340
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
508
00:23:46,407 --> 00:23:48,759
♪ Welcome back ♪
509
00:23:48,842 --> 00:23:53,414
♪ To that same old
place that you laughed about ♪
510
00:23:53,481 --> 00:23:55,549
♪ Well the names
Have all changed
511
00:23:55,616 --> 00:23:57,768
Since you hung around ♪
512
00:23:57,851 --> 00:23:59,988
♪ But those dreams
Have remained
513
00:24:00,054 --> 00:24:02,273
And they've turned around ♪
514
00:24:02,356 --> 00:24:04,325
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
515
00:24:04,392 --> 00:24:06,327
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
516
00:24:06,393 --> 00:24:08,362
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
517
00:24:08,429 --> 00:24:10,431
♪ Back here where
we need ya ♪
518
00:24:10,498 --> 00:24:12,466
♪ Yeah, we tease
Him a lot
519
00:24:12,533 --> 00:24:15,003
'cause we got him
On the spot ♪
520
00:24:15,068 --> 00:24:16,922
♪ Welcome back ♪
521
00:24:17,005 --> 00:24:21,241
♪ Welcome back,
welcome back, welcome back ♪♪
36901
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