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- Julie.
- What?
2
00:00:02,607 --> 00:00:05,135
Did I ever tell you about
my Uncle Jerry, my Aunt Jule?
3
00:00:05,218 --> 00:00:08,861
Uncle Jerry and Aunt Jule,
isn't that cute?
4
00:00:08,944 --> 00:00:11,146
They were married for 40 years.
5
00:00:11,183 --> 00:00:13,025
And they decided to go
on a second honeymoon.
6
00:00:13,045 --> 00:00:15,352
And Uncle Jerry said,
"Let's go back to the place
7
00:00:15,427 --> 00:00:18,168
we had our first honeymoon.
Wouldn't that be romantic?"
8
00:00:18,209 --> 00:00:19,776
So, they go back
to the same hotel
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00:00:19,791 --> 00:00:21,529
that they went to on their
first honeymoon 40 years
10
00:00:21,611 --> 00:00:23,549
before and they take
the same room.
11
00:00:23,632 --> 00:00:24,632
- Isn't that great?
- Oh. Adorable.
12
00:00:24,715 --> 00:00:27,034
When they get into the room,
Aunt Jules says
13
00:00:27,117 --> 00:00:30,599
"Jerry, remember what you did 40
years ago the first thing?
14
00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:32,001
"Gave me a little kiss
on the forehead.
15
00:00:32,061 --> 00:00:33,628
Go ahead, do it again."
16
00:00:33,711 --> 00:00:35,152
So he kisses her
on the forehead.
17
00:00:35,184 --> 00:00:38,109
Then she says, "Jerry, remember
the second thing you did?
18
00:00:38,129 --> 00:00:40,652
You held my hand,
do it again."
19
00:00:40,672 --> 00:00:42,335
So he holds her hand
and she says
20
00:00:42,354 --> 00:00:44,312
"Jerry, remember
the third thing you did?
21
00:00:44,395 --> 00:00:47,340
You gave me a little bite
on the neck. Do it again."
22
00:00:47,423 --> 00:00:50,326
He said, "Wait a second,
I'll get my teeth."
23
00:00:53,137 --> 00:00:55,392
[male announcer] "Welcome back, Kotter"
is recorded live
24
00:00:55,475 --> 00:00:57,802
before a studio audience.
25
00:01:01,327 --> 00:01:03,655
[John Sebastian singing "Welcome back"]
26
00:01:04,939 --> 00:01:07,511
♪ Welcome back ♪
27
00:01:07,594 --> 00:01:11,428
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
28
00:01:11,511 --> 00:01:13,604
♪ Welcome back ♪
29
00:01:13,687 --> 00:01:18,304
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
30
00:01:18,387 --> 00:01:22,700
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
31
00:01:22,783 --> 00:01:27,226
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
32
00:01:27,309 --> 00:01:29,402
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
33
00:01:29,485 --> 00:01:31,512
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
34
00:01:31,595 --> 00:01:33,819
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
35
00:01:33,902 --> 00:01:35,908
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
36
00:01:35,991 --> 00:01:39,868
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
37
00:01:39,951 --> 00:01:42,175
♪ Welcome back ♪
38
00:01:42,258 --> 00:01:44,351
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
39
00:01:44,434 --> 00:01:47,502
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
40
00:01:53,965 --> 00:01:55,945
[thunder rumbling]
41
00:02:08,186 --> 00:02:10,349
And so, with the fall
of Tsar Nicholas
42
00:02:10,349 --> 00:02:13,133
and the rise
of the socialist proletariat
43
00:02:13,173 --> 00:02:16,197
the Russian Revolution
had come to a close.
44
00:02:17,092 --> 00:02:18,272
The end.
45
00:02:18,355 --> 00:02:19,417
[Freddie] Good speech.
46
00:02:19,500 --> 00:02:20,957
[all cheering]
47
00:02:23,029 --> 00:02:27,694
Oh, a truly inspiring lesson,
Mr. Kotter.
48
00:02:29,178 --> 00:02:31,983
Where did you learn
all that stuff?
49
00:02:32,066 --> 00:02:35,481
Simple, Arnold.
I saw Dr. Zhivago four times.
50
00:02:36,233 --> 00:02:37,655
[wheezy laughing]
51
00:02:37,738 --> 00:02:39,062
That's so funny.
52
00:02:39,145 --> 00:02:40,777
[laughing]
53
00:02:45,139 --> 00:02:46,478
I'm sorry, I'm late.
54
00:02:46,561 --> 00:02:48,540
[bell ringing]
55
00:02:49,085 --> 00:02:50,206
- Timin', Vinnie.
- Vinnie, that's the bell.
56
00:02:50,288 --> 00:02:53,867
You just crossed over
the line from late to absent.
57
00:02:53,950 --> 00:02:55,592
It's lunch time, hey.
58
00:02:55,675 --> 00:02:58,223
Hope you got a good excuse.
59
00:02:58,306 --> 00:03:00,107
[Epstein] Hey, Vinnie.
60
00:03:00,190 --> 00:03:02,811
Hey, Vinnie, come on,
don't worry about it.
61
00:03:02,894 --> 00:03:05,240
I can say a note
for any occasion.
62
00:03:05,323 --> 00:03:07,946
You see, I got me
this new gimmick, Vinnie.
63
00:03:08,029 --> 00:03:09,550
All my notes are in verse.
64
00:03:09,633 --> 00:03:10,590
Hey, listen to this.
65
00:03:10,600 --> 00:03:11,895
[clearing throat]
66
00:03:11,978 --> 00:03:14,181
"Roses are red,
violets are blue.
67
00:03:14,264 --> 00:03:17,137
I've been home two days
with the Asian flu."
68
00:03:17,220 --> 00:03:21,254
Huh? Terrific? I got me
a future in poetry.
69
00:03:21,270 --> 00:03:23,906
Epstein, I don't think
Rod McKuen is worried.
70
00:03:24,793 --> 00:03:26,455
- Hey. Hey Freddie.
- Yeah?
71
00:03:26,538 --> 00:03:29,159
You got that note I sold ya
for your science class?
72
00:03:29,242 --> 00:03:32,132
- Oh, yeah.
- Listen to this.
73
00:03:32,215 --> 00:03:33,672
[clears throat]
74
00:03:34,751 --> 00:03:37,035
"To my dearest
science teacher.
75
00:03:38,076 --> 00:03:41,280
"Please forgive me for missing
your lecture on mold.
76
00:03:42,763 --> 00:03:46,968
But I was home sick,
with a bad head cold."
77
00:03:46,968 --> 00:03:48,469
[both laughing]
78
00:03:51,938 --> 00:03:55,176
You guys got any notes
for sick grandmothers?
79
00:03:55,259 --> 00:03:57,061
I just got back
from the hospital.
80
00:03:57,144 --> 00:03:59,585
My grandmother,
she's really sick.
81
00:03:59,668 --> 00:04:01,149
Oh, Vinnie.
82
00:04:02,231 --> 00:04:04,331
I'm so sorry.
83
00:04:04,834 --> 00:04:06,713
How old is she?
84
00:04:06,796 --> 00:04:07,808
Eighty seven.
85
00:04:07,891 --> 00:04:09,919
Eighty seven?
Tsk tsk tsk.
86
00:04:10,002 --> 00:04:12,463
Still a young woman.
87
00:04:14,947 --> 00:04:17,606
Hey, man,
what's she got?
88
00:04:17,690 --> 00:04:21,172
I think she's just got
a bad case of old.
89
00:04:22,064 --> 00:04:23,762
Hey, Vinnie, who's to say what's
old?
90
00:04:23,845 --> 00:04:26,005
I mean, your grandma
might pull through.
91
00:04:26,089 --> 00:04:27,811
I read about a guy
from South America
92
00:04:27,811 --> 00:04:30,071
who's a 130 years old.
93
00:04:30,154 --> 00:04:34,126
He lives in a hut he built out
of his own kidney stones.
94
00:04:35,664 --> 00:04:37,884
But, I think she's gonna die.
95
00:04:37,967 --> 00:04:40,952
I mean, nobody has ever died
on me before, Mr. Kotter.
96
00:04:40,952 --> 00:04:44,376
I mean, they can't do that!
I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
97
00:04:47,234 --> 00:04:49,257
Vinnie, look, I mean,
I know it's hard for you
98
00:04:49,257 --> 00:04:51,095
but it's hard
for everybody.
99
00:04:51,178 --> 00:04:53,267
Death is just
a part of life.
100
00:04:53,342 --> 00:04:55,978
And we've all gotta
learn to accept it.
101
00:04:56,826 --> 00:04:59,427
Alright, look, maybe you'll feel
better if we talked about it.
102
00:04:59,510 --> 00:05:01,230
Hey, Vinnie...
103
00:05:01,392 --> 00:05:03,023
...Mr. Kot-tair's right.
104
00:05:04,796 --> 00:05:06,852
It's something that you...
105
00:05:06,936 --> 00:05:09,058
...that you've
just gotta accept.
106
00:05:09,142 --> 00:05:11,301
You've learnt
to accept death, Freddie?
107
00:05:11,385 --> 00:05:12,844
Oh, yeah.
108
00:05:13,367 --> 00:05:15,708
As long as
it's somebody else's.
109
00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:19,380
Thank you, Albert Schweitzer.
110
00:05:19,463 --> 00:05:21,595
What do you think
about the subject, Arnold?
111
00:05:21,678 --> 00:05:23,178
Personally...
112
00:05:24,201 --> 00:05:26,301
...I'm against it.
113
00:05:28,544 --> 00:05:30,907
Yeah, well,
I don't worry about death.
114
00:05:30,991 --> 00:05:33,627
I got a note
for wherever I go.
115
00:05:36,455 --> 00:05:38,074
Here's an interesting question.
116
00:05:38,157 --> 00:05:40,919
What do you guys think happens
to somebody after they die?
117
00:05:40,919 --> 00:05:44,292
Oh! Oh! Oh!
118
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,844
I think...
119
00:05:49,494 --> 00:05:53,259
...that death is kinda like
Miss Fishbeck's English class.
120
00:05:55,404 --> 00:05:57,526
Very, very boring.
121
00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:00,952
But I figure we're all
coming back anyway
122
00:06:00,952 --> 00:06:02,515
and when I come back...
123
00:06:02,535 --> 00:06:05,386
...this time
I'm comin' back taller.
124
00:06:06,461 --> 00:06:08,376
You believe in
reincarnation, Arnold?
125
00:06:08,459 --> 00:06:11,593
No, I just believe
in being taller.
126
00:06:11,602 --> 00:06:13,518
[laughing]
127
00:06:13,601 --> 00:06:15,385
With my luck,
if I got reincarnated
128
00:06:15,385 --> 00:06:17,729
I'd come back as Mr. Woodman.
129
00:06:18,832 --> 00:06:22,616
How can you guys talk about that
kooky stuff at a time like this?
130
00:06:22,699 --> 00:06:24,339
I mean, this is serious.
131
00:06:24,422 --> 00:06:26,533
A Catholic is dyin'.
132
00:06:28,648 --> 00:06:30,491
[Kotter] I'm sorry, Vinnie.
We're just kiddin' around.
133
00:06:30,574 --> 00:06:31,573
Hey, Mr. Kotter
134
00:06:31,656 --> 00:06:34,926
why do you suppose
people gotta die?
135
00:06:35,010 --> 00:06:37,834
Arnold, throughout history,
the great philosophers, thinkers
136
00:06:37,834 --> 00:06:39,830
they've all pondered that
question, you know?
137
00:06:39,914 --> 00:06:42,597
Did they ever come up
with an answer?
138
00:06:42,680 --> 00:06:45,342
Probably. They're all dead.
139
00:06:46,546 --> 00:06:49,970
Horshack, people got to die
'cause that's the way
140
00:06:49,970 --> 00:06:51,589
God likes things.
141
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:54,826
I mean, he works
in mysterious ways.
142
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:59,261
Oh, you mysterious
guy, you...
143
00:07:04,371 --> 00:07:08,330
Yeah. If we all live forever,
you know what that would mean?
144
00:07:08,414 --> 00:07:09,714
Yeah, it would mean you
guys would spend
145
00:07:09,714 --> 00:07:11,194
200 years in the 11th grade.
146
00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:13,072
[laughing]
147
00:07:15,347 --> 00:07:16,914
You know what they say.
148
00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:19,733
Once you're dead,
life ain't worth livin'.
149
00:07:21,379 --> 00:07:24,402
Mr. Kotter, I wanna ask you
somethin', alright?
150
00:07:24,485 --> 00:07:27,247
I mean, have you
ever lost anybody?
151
00:07:28,258 --> 00:07:32,697
Yeah. I lost my Uncle Manny.
Somebody I really loved.
152
00:07:32,780 --> 00:07:34,782
He used to come over
to my house every Saturday.
153
00:07:34,804 --> 00:07:37,206
Always have somethin'
for me, a toy, a present.
154
00:07:37,226 --> 00:07:39,185
Always have a pocket
full of change.
155
00:07:39,208 --> 00:07:41,089
"Come here, Gaby. What do you
need, a quarter? Here ya go."
156
00:07:41,089 --> 00:07:43,989
And always yell at my mother if
she would baby me a little bit.
157
00:07:44,072 --> 00:07:45,313
"What're you doing, Esther?
Leave him alone.
158
00:07:45,313 --> 00:07:46,874
"He doesn't need his earmuffs.
It's August.
159
00:07:46,894 --> 00:07:49,009
Let him go outside."
160
00:07:49,093 --> 00:07:51,896
And he'd spend the afternoon
losing to my father at pinnacle.
161
00:07:51,979 --> 00:07:55,081
He always lost
to my father at pinnacle.
162
00:07:55,164 --> 00:07:57,340
Then one Saturday,
he didn't show up.
163
00:07:57,423 --> 00:07:59,565
I asked my mother,
"So where's Uncle Manny?"
164
00:07:59,566 --> 00:08:02,226
She said that he was sick
in the hospital.
165
00:08:02,227 --> 00:08:05,107
Did he have any
last words to you?
166
00:08:05,190 --> 00:08:06,208
Yeah.
167
00:08:06,291 --> 00:08:07,671
Said,"Gabey, come here.
168
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:09,715
"I got somethin' to tell you.
169
00:08:09,715 --> 00:08:11,893
"I didn't say this
for 40 years.
170
00:08:11,977 --> 00:08:14,261
Your father cheats
at pinnacle."
171
00:08:17,281 --> 00:08:21,872
I will never forget my
grandfather's last words.
172
00:08:21,964 --> 00:08:22,964
Beautiful.
173
00:08:23,047 --> 00:08:28,574
He said,
"Nurse... oh!Oh! Oh!"
174
00:08:32,557 --> 00:08:34,624
[gasping]
175
00:08:38,572 --> 00:08:40,032
"Oh!"
176
00:08:42,745 --> 00:08:45,845
Mr. Kotter, if your uncle
177
00:08:45,928 --> 00:08:47,625
when he was like that,
when he was sick like that
178
00:08:47,631 --> 00:08:49,711
if he'd wanted you to do
somethin' special
179
00:08:49,794 --> 00:08:51,774
would you have done it?
180
00:08:52,457 --> 00:08:55,335
Sure. I mean, if I could have.
181
00:08:55,418 --> 00:08:57,580
Oh, no, that's what
I was afraid of.
182
00:08:57,663 --> 00:09:00,231
- Now, I guess I gotta do it.
- Do what?
183
00:09:00,285 --> 00:09:01,848
You see, the... the whole time
184
00:09:01,848 --> 00:09:03,666
my mother was pregnant
with me, right?
185
00:09:03,749 --> 00:09:07,252
My grandmother gave up totally
on her ever becomin' a nun.
186
00:09:09,955 --> 00:09:12,832
I think that
was realistic, Vinnie.
187
00:09:12,915 --> 00:09:15,558
And my grandmother,
she'd always say
188
00:09:15,641 --> 00:09:19,471
"Vincenzo, I would-a
die a happy woman
189
00:09:19,524 --> 00:09:21,634
if you would become a priest."
190
00:09:22,938 --> 00:09:25,679
Phew! That's a rough one.
191
00:09:25,761 --> 00:09:27,765
My grandmother said
she'd die happy if I just
192
00:09:27,765 --> 00:09:31,028
keep out of jail
and never get tattooed.
193
00:09:31,732 --> 00:09:33,431
Vinnie, you've gotta be
fair to yourself.
194
00:09:33,514 --> 00:09:36,208
You've got a right to be
whatever you wanna be.
195
00:09:36,290 --> 00:09:39,207
[wheezy laughing]
196
00:09:39,290 --> 00:09:41,245
I'm sorry,
I don't mean to laugh.
197
00:09:41,319 --> 00:09:42,578
[laughing]
198
00:09:42,661 --> 00:09:44,141
But you, a priest!
199
00:09:44,224 --> 00:09:45,472
[laughing]
200
00:09:45,554 --> 00:09:47,761
You, a priest!
201
00:09:47,844 --> 00:09:49,156
Horshack!
202
00:09:49,239 --> 00:09:51,681
Sorry, Father Vinnie.
203
00:09:56,352 --> 00:09:57,873
Hey, hey, hey.
204
00:09:57,956 --> 00:09:59,974
Come on, Vinnie.
205
00:10:00,057 --> 00:10:01,597
Alright, alright, alright.
206
00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:04,781
Let's look at this situation
with a little bit of...
207
00:10:04,864 --> 00:10:07,225
...cool and logic.
208
00:10:07,587 --> 00:10:10,691
You got as much chance being a
priest as I do getting the lead
209
00:10:10,691 --> 00:10:13,753
in a school production
of Snow White.
210
00:10:14,977 --> 00:10:18,682
Yeah. And Freddie was the best
one who read for the part.
211
00:10:19,522 --> 00:10:22,924
But me and Horshack, see,
we're still up for dwarfs.
212
00:10:23,842 --> 00:10:26,279
Yeah, guess who's gonna
play Dopey?
213
00:10:26,362 --> 00:10:28,686
[grunting]
214
00:10:28,769 --> 00:10:31,939
If I was casting, I'd have
a rough time choosing.
215
00:10:32,775 --> 00:10:35,997
Now wait a minute,
just wait one minute.
216
00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:40,229
You guys, you think that I ain't
holy enough to become a priest?
217
00:10:40,312 --> 00:10:41,772
[all] Right!
218
00:10:42,550 --> 00:10:45,832
Vinnie, not everybody is
cut out to be a priest.
219
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:47,357
Oh, yeah?
220
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,340
Well, I wanna tell you
all somethin'.
221
00:10:49,423 --> 00:10:51,683
Up all your noses,
you rubber ho...
222
00:10:51,766 --> 00:10:56,050
Oh, no, no, no.
223
00:10:57,328 --> 00:10:58,785
Fredrick.
224
00:11:01,581 --> 00:11:03,038
Arnold.
225
00:11:03,121 --> 00:11:03,921
Juan.
226
00:11:04,004 --> 00:11:05,664
My sons...
227
00:11:06,328 --> 00:11:08,045
...I forgive you.
228
00:11:13,357 --> 00:11:15,719
Even though you're all punks.
229
00:11:17,558 --> 00:11:18,607
Did we do that?
230
00:11:18,689 --> 00:11:20,452
[indistinct chattering]
231
00:11:26,338 --> 00:11:27,798
Kotter.
232
00:11:28,291 --> 00:11:29,705
I, uh...
233
00:11:32,683 --> 00:11:34,764
I guess you heard the latest.
234
00:11:34,847 --> 00:11:37,868
Barbarino has decided
to become a priest.
235
00:11:38,651 --> 00:11:42,545
He, um, just went downstairs
to bless Epstein's gym locker.
236
00:11:44,777 --> 00:11:47,338
Had a scream. Ha ha ha.
237
00:11:49,180 --> 00:11:51,749
Why are you not laughing?
Kotter, what's the matter?
238
00:11:51,832 --> 00:11:54,586
I was just thinking
about my Uncle Manny.
239
00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:56,223
Why? Does he owe you money?
240
00:11:56,305 --> 00:11:57,479
[laughing]
241
00:11:57,562 --> 00:11:59,623
No, no. He died when I was 15.
242
00:11:59,706 --> 00:12:01,789
Well, listen to this, Kotter.
This will cheer you up.
243
00:12:01,789 --> 00:12:04,974
Today, Barbarino came up to me
and he told me he loved me.
244
00:12:04,994 --> 00:12:08,043
Me! Old man Woodface!
245
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:08,927
[laughing]
246
00:12:08,961 --> 00:12:11,283
Ah, that kid's a scream.
247
00:12:13,407 --> 00:12:15,664
You're still
not laughing, Kotter.
248
00:12:15,747 --> 00:12:17,510
Vinnie's had a rough time
lately, Mr. Woodman.
249
00:12:17,593 --> 00:12:18,855
His grandma died last week
250
00:12:18,855 --> 00:12:21,551
and she always wanted
him to be a priest.
251
00:12:21,634 --> 00:12:25,223
Well, of course, I'm sorry
to hear about his grandmother.
252
00:12:27,162 --> 00:12:29,443
Are you sure she's dead?
253
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,756
What kind of question is that?
254
00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,381
- Of course she's dead.
- I'm sorry, Kotter.
255
00:12:34,453 --> 00:12:37,414
I had to ask. I haven't
forgotten last semester.
256
00:12:37,497 --> 00:12:40,359
Epstein's grandmother
died three times.
257
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:48,801
I, uh, I still remember
the note that he turned in.
258
00:12:48,884 --> 00:12:52,910
"Violets are blue,
roses are red.
259
00:12:52,993 --> 00:12:55,843
I'm sorry to announce,
my grandmother's dead."
260
00:12:58,895 --> 00:13:00,354
Epstein.
261
00:13:02,528 --> 00:13:04,107
Mr. Woodman...
262
00:13:04,388 --> 00:13:06,190
...do you ever
think about death?
263
00:13:06,273 --> 00:13:08,556
Sure, every time I walk
into your classroom.
264
00:13:08,639 --> 00:13:10,394
[laughing]
265
00:13:10,477 --> 00:13:11,939
I'm serious, Mr. Woodman. Like...
266
00:13:12,022 --> 00:13:14,831
I don't know what I'd do if
something happened to my wife.
267
00:13:14,914 --> 00:13:18,034
How do you feel when you lose
somebody that's close to you?
268
00:13:18,117 --> 00:13:19,496
I don't know.
269
00:13:19,578 --> 00:13:21,732
Nobody's close to me.
270
00:13:23,323 --> 00:13:24,122
But, uh...
271
00:13:24,123 --> 00:13:26,385
...you know, Kotter...
272
00:13:27,427 --> 00:13:28,887
...most people...
273
00:13:29,029 --> 00:13:31,028
...hope they go fast.
274
00:13:31,111 --> 00:13:32,571
Not me.
275
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,313
I wanna linger.
276
00:13:36,997 --> 00:13:41,014
I wanna be a burden to others
as long as I can.
277
00:13:41,014 --> 00:13:42,798
[laughing]
278
00:13:45,488 --> 00:13:46,948
Oh, no!
279
00:13:51,317 --> 00:13:52,926
I love you, Mr. Woodman.
280
00:13:53,009 --> 00:13:55,949
Oho, ho, ho! I tell ya,
he's a scream, this kid.
281
00:13:57,473 --> 00:13:59,493
Hiya Vinnie, how're you doin'?
282
00:13:59,576 --> 00:14:02,035
Oh, hello, Mr. Kotter.
283
00:14:03,377 --> 00:14:04,820
Huh.
284
00:14:04,903 --> 00:14:06,905
I didn't see you at this
morning's prayer meeting
285
00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:09,005
in Home Economics.
286
00:14:13,774 --> 00:14:15,233
You know, Mr. Kotter...
287
00:14:15,316 --> 00:14:17,167
...prayer's good for you.
288
00:14:17,250 --> 00:14:19,307
Oh! I know that,
Vinnie, I know!
289
00:14:19,390 --> 00:14:20,672
I prayed all morning.
290
00:14:20,755 --> 00:14:24,078
The whole time I was on
the subway coming to work.
291
00:14:24,161 --> 00:14:26,304
I prayed that we get to
my stop before the two guys
292
00:14:26,304 --> 00:14:28,673
who were kicking
the conductor noticed me.
293
00:14:31,332 --> 00:14:33,012
That's funny.
294
00:14:34,697 --> 00:14:36,497
Mr. Kotter...
295
00:14:36,700 --> 00:14:38,803
...the reason I'm here is to
talk about yesterday's quiz
296
00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:39,985
you flunked me in.
297
00:14:40,005 --> 00:14:41,905
I forgive you.
298
00:14:43,261 --> 00:14:46,351
Don't forgive me, Vinnie, okay?
Just study.
299
00:14:46,434 --> 00:14:49,458
Mr. Kotter,
the Lord is my shepherd.
300
00:14:50,320 --> 00:14:52,420
Do sheep study?
301
00:15:02,317 --> 00:15:04,123
You look confused.
302
00:15:07,405 --> 00:15:08,865
Mr. Kotter...
303
00:15:09,107 --> 00:15:11,866
...have you had
any religious training?
304
00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:13,170
Oh, sure, Vinnie.
305
00:15:13,253 --> 00:15:17,263
I'm a member of the Church
of the Seven Day Opportunists.
306
00:15:17,346 --> 00:15:19,289
We believe that after you die,
you return to earth
307
00:15:19,289 --> 00:15:21,660
as an aluminum siding salesman.
308
00:15:23,456 --> 00:15:26,215
Look, Vinnie, you're goin'
overboard with this whole thing.
309
00:15:26,298 --> 00:15:27,540
Mr. Kotter, I've got
a great idea.
310
00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:29,906
Why don't you read some of these
pamphlets I have here?
311
00:15:29,906 --> 00:15:33,670
You never know when
he is going to ask questions.
312
00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:36,514
Vinnie, why don't you study
your social studies book?
313
00:15:36,597 --> 00:15:39,233
You never know when
I'm gonna ask questions.
314
00:15:41,725 --> 00:15:44,327
"Heaven on five dollars a day."
315
00:15:45,186 --> 00:15:47,340
"Judgment day
and what to wear."
316
00:15:49,833 --> 00:15:52,205
"Sermons for the shower."
317
00:15:57,462 --> 00:15:59,246
Alright, okay, okay, okay
318
00:15:59,329 --> 00:16:02,745
Get ready for steady Freddie.
319
00:16:03,516 --> 00:16:05,174
- Jackpot.
- Wait, didn't I tell ya?
320
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:08,539
It's against the kid's turn,
the kid is up here.
321
00:16:09,183 --> 00:16:13,078
- Arnold. I love you.
- Wait a minute.
322
00:16:16,311 --> 00:16:17,281
- Arnold.
- Hi, Vinnie.
323
00:16:17,364 --> 00:16:20,561
- Come on, Arnold.
- I said I love you.
324
00:16:21,109 --> 00:16:24,149
Bring home the bacon.
325
00:16:24,232 --> 00:16:25,032
- Oh, oh!
- Oh!
326
00:16:25,115 --> 00:16:26,047
Oh, oh, oh!
327
00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:27,398
Horshack, I'm talkin' to you.
328
00:16:27,398 --> 00:16:29,258
I said I love you.
329
00:16:29,341 --> 00:16:31,408
I love you.
330
00:16:39,636 --> 00:16:41,093
Oh?
331
00:16:42,941 --> 00:16:44,422
You do?
332
00:16:45,314 --> 00:16:48,498
Well, I guess that's nice.
333
00:16:48,639 --> 00:16:52,751
As you know, Vinnie, I've always
held you in the highest regard.
334
00:16:53,547 --> 00:16:56,326
Boy, it's like
murder around here
335
00:16:56,409 --> 00:16:59,391
tryin' to give someone
a religious experience.
336
00:17:00,615 --> 00:17:02,715
Oh, Fredrick, Juan...
337
00:17:03,259 --> 00:17:06,696
...you shouldn't be wasting your
money on idle games of chance.
338
00:17:06,964 --> 00:17:09,333
You should give it to the poor.
339
00:17:10,489 --> 00:17:13,426
- Give our money to the poor?
- Yes.
340
00:17:14,754 --> 00:17:17,657
I don't know if
you've heard it, my man...
341
00:17:18,898 --> 00:17:20,057
...but...
342
00:17:20,140 --> 00:17:22,380
...we am the poor.
343
00:17:28,250 --> 00:17:32,292
Fredrick, there are people
a lot less fortunate than you.
344
00:17:32,375 --> 00:17:34,475
Yeah, like you.
345
00:17:34,737 --> 00:17:37,196
You're nuts, baby, you're crazy.
346
00:17:38,602 --> 00:17:42,726
It's fro-fro da-da time,
Vin-Vin.
347
00:17:44,034 --> 00:17:46,058
Ah, Mr. Kotter, Mr. Kotter.
348
00:17:46,141 --> 00:17:49,022
Listen, may I use your class
to give a little talk today.
349
00:17:49,105 --> 00:17:51,804
It's entitled "Fear not
when you walk with the Lord."
350
00:17:51,868 --> 00:17:54,751
Or "Stay off Flatbush Avenue
after 11 o'clock."
351
00:17:56,071 --> 00:17:57,792
Vinnie, I'm gonna give you
a little talk of my own.
352
00:17:57,876 --> 00:17:59,879
It's entitled "Ye, though
I walk through the valley
353
00:17:59,919 --> 00:18:02,279
"of the shadow
of social studies...
354
00:18:02,362 --> 00:18:04,462
...I learned nothing."
355
00:18:04,581 --> 00:18:06,004
Alright, alright, alright.
356
00:18:06,087 --> 00:18:08,785
Then how about just lettin' me
get up in front of the classroom
357
00:18:08,830 --> 00:18:11,212
and try to heal Horshack.
358
00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,048
- Heal Horshack?
- Yes.
359
00:18:15,131 --> 00:18:16,850
Where would you start?
360
00:18:18,474 --> 00:18:19,934
Now, boys...
361
00:18:20,217 --> 00:18:23,760
Are we still on for
after school, huh, Vinnie Pooh?
362
00:18:23,843 --> 00:18:25,303
- Woo.
- Wooh!
363
00:18:25,859 --> 00:18:29,844
Love and peace,
love and peace, love and peace.
364
00:18:29,927 --> 00:18:32,843
- Now listen, love.
- The usual place?
365
00:18:32,926 --> 00:18:35,712
Behind the billboard
on 84th Street?
366
00:18:35,792 --> 00:18:40,516
Perhaps you have not heard,
you brazen young hussy...
367
00:18:46,850 --> 00:18:51,415
...but you are speaking
to Father Vinnie Pooh.
368
00:18:51,498 --> 00:18:54,134
Alright, will you guys
just get outta here?
369
00:18:55,504 --> 00:18:57,571
I mean, my sons...
370
00:18:58,388 --> 00:19:00,532
My sons, what I'm trying
to do here is just
371
00:19:00,532 --> 00:19:03,970
spread a little goodwill
on a new member of my flock.
372
00:19:04,738 --> 00:19:07,484
♪ Crock of ages ♪
373
00:19:07,567 --> 00:19:09,875
♪ Cleft for me ♪
374
00:19:09,958 --> 00:19:15,746
♪ Let me hide myself in thee ♪♪
375
00:19:15,810 --> 00:19:19,054
Listen, Bambi,
I mean, I mean...
376
00:19:19,054 --> 00:19:22,225
...this sort of behavior
is entirely out of the question.
377
00:19:22,521 --> 00:19:26,481
I can't go with you
this afternoon. I-I can't.
378
00:19:26,564 --> 00:19:31,147
You're breaking our date so you
can go out with Dolores again.
379
00:19:31,230 --> 00:19:35,953
How could you
dump me for... a Leo.
380
00:19:36,036 --> 00:19:39,669
Hey, I don't go out
with nobody called Leo.
381
00:19:39,976 --> 00:19:42,022
[bell rings]
382
00:19:42,105 --> 00:19:44,205
And bless you.
383
00:19:44,321 --> 00:19:46,603
May you walk in peace.
384
00:19:48,188 --> 00:19:50,227
I can't take it.
385
00:19:50,311 --> 00:19:52,473
I just can't take it.
386
00:19:52,556 --> 00:19:54,896
I can't take it!
387
00:19:54,979 --> 00:19:56,682
Vinnie, how about
you come and take
388
00:19:56,682 --> 00:19:59,042
forty minutes of social studies?
Come on, let's go.
389
00:19:59,125 --> 00:20:01,406
I try, Mr. Kotter,
I really do.
390
00:20:01,489 --> 00:20:03,311
I mean, in the mornin'...
391
00:20:03,311 --> 00:20:05,536
...when I'm eatin' my oatmeal,
I give thanks.
392
00:20:05,556 --> 00:20:08,192
Even though this mornin',
it was too lumpy.
393
00:20:09,181 --> 00:20:11,062
Obviously the work
of the devil.
394
00:20:11,146 --> 00:20:12,646
Yes.
395
00:20:13,218 --> 00:20:15,598
When I come to school...
396
00:20:15,681 --> 00:20:18,201
...and I see somebody
like Bambi, right?
397
00:20:18,284 --> 00:20:21,945
Or Kiki Cornberg,
with those tight jeans
398
00:20:22,028 --> 00:20:23,910
with that little patch
on the back that says
399
00:20:23,910 --> 00:20:27,373
"Have a nice day,"
I fall apart.
400
00:20:27,755 --> 00:20:30,196
I just fall apart.
401
00:20:30,299 --> 00:20:34,324
Vinnie, you weren't
cut out to be a priest.
402
00:20:34,502 --> 00:20:37,352
Come on, my son,
let's go to class.
403
00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:40,112
[indistinct chanting]
404
00:20:43,704 --> 00:20:45,164
Brother Vinnie.
405
00:20:46,657 --> 00:20:49,379
Brother Horshack,
Brother Epstein
406
00:20:49,462 --> 00:20:52,228
and I have decided to join you.
407
00:20:52,228 --> 00:20:54,354
[Washington] Yes, Vinnie, we all believe.
408
00:20:54,437 --> 00:20:57,266
- All, all.
- And we're gonna testify.
409
00:20:57,321 --> 00:21:00,476
I sa-a-id, we're gonna testify.
410
00:21:02,114 --> 00:21:03,571
Yes.
411
00:21:03,893 --> 00:21:05,532
- Brother Horshack.
- Ah.
412
00:21:05,615 --> 00:21:07,781
You got any, any, any testimony?
413
00:21:07,864 --> 00:21:09,286
- I got testimony.
- Yes.
414
00:21:09,347 --> 00:21:11,103
- I seen.
- Yes.
415
00:21:11,186 --> 00:21:15,385
I said, I seen.
I seen through my own two eyes.
416
00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:17,686
I seen-I seen Brother Vinnie
417
00:21:17,769 --> 00:21:19,792
and that April Dias
418
00:21:19,875 --> 00:21:23,028
behind the stairway
of Buchanan High School...
419
00:21:23,111 --> 00:21:25,562
[Washington and Juan]
Sinner! Sinner! Sinner!
420
00:21:25,562 --> 00:21:28,334
Alright, alright, alright.
421
00:21:28,417 --> 00:21:31,197
I get your point, alright?
422
00:21:31,281 --> 00:21:33,660
So I ain't so good
at bein' holy.
423
00:21:33,744 --> 00:21:35,199
Wrong, Vinnie.
424
00:21:35,282 --> 00:21:38,086
You're trying
too hard to be holy.
425
00:21:38,169 --> 00:21:40,471
Look, everybody here
knows you're upset.
426
00:21:40,491 --> 00:21:42,593
What you're friends, I think,
are tryin' to show you
427
00:21:42,593 --> 00:21:45,474
is that, you can't go on
living someone else's conception
428
00:21:45,557 --> 00:21:47,357
of what your life should be.
429
00:21:47,398 --> 00:21:49,183
Hey, look,
I love my Uncle Manny.
430
00:21:49,201 --> 00:21:51,861
But just because he died that
didn't mean I wanted to become
431
00:21:51,944 --> 00:21:54,819
a bad pinnacle player.
432
00:21:54,902 --> 00:21:56,495
Then, then, what about
my grandmother?
433
00:21:56,578 --> 00:21:58,493
May she rest in peace.
434
00:21:58,561 --> 00:22:01,404
Vinnie, it's hard to lose
somebody you love.
435
00:22:01,404 --> 00:22:03,845
But you just gotta go on
and live your own life.
436
00:22:03,927 --> 00:22:05,349
Hey do you really think
that it'd be okay
437
00:22:05,349 --> 00:22:07,484
for me not to become a priest?
438
00:22:07,567 --> 00:22:09,590
[all] Mm-hmm.
439
00:22:11,057 --> 00:22:14,290
Bambi, I'm comin', Bambi!
440
00:22:14,373 --> 00:22:16,680
[Vinnie] Oh, no, oh, no.
441
00:22:16,763 --> 00:22:18,372
My mother's gonna be so upset.
442
00:22:18,426 --> 00:22:20,246
[Juan] Hey, Vinnie.
443
00:22:23,269 --> 00:22:25,167
- I got a note for her.
- Alright.
444
00:22:25,250 --> 00:22:27,252
Hey. Hey, Mr. Kotter.
445
00:22:27,252 --> 00:22:29,013
I think you better sign it,
you know?
446
00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:30,696
I mean, like, I would've
signed your own name
447
00:22:30,696 --> 00:22:33,455
but I need
a little more experience
448
00:22:33,538 --> 00:22:35,638
forging your signature.
449
00:22:36,220 --> 00:22:38,058
- Sit down.
- Okay, yeah. Go on, read it.
450
00:22:38,140 --> 00:22:39,600
Sit down!
451
00:22:43,047 --> 00:22:44,965
"Dear, Mrs. Barbarino.
452
00:22:45,049 --> 00:22:47,007
"They were shocked
when you had a son.
453
00:22:47,030 --> 00:22:50,250
"Because that meant
you could not be a nun.
454
00:22:50,333 --> 00:22:52,335
"I hope you won't mind
this in the least
455
00:22:52,335 --> 00:22:55,238
"but your son Vinnie
will not be a priest.
456
00:22:56,482 --> 00:22:59,345
Signed, Epstein's teacher."
457
00:22:59,750 --> 00:23:02,165
[students cheering]
458
00:23:10,439 --> 00:23:11,446
Did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Morris
459
00:23:11,529 --> 00:23:13,966
who was kind of,
you know, thrifty?
460
00:23:14,049 --> 00:23:16,731
- Uncle Thrifty Morris. Good.
- Right.
461
00:23:16,752 --> 00:23:18,411
Now one time,
Uncle Thrifty Morris
462
00:23:18,494 --> 00:23:19,952
and two of his friends were
sitting around and they were
463
00:23:20,035 --> 00:23:21,689
discussing,
how much money they give
464
00:23:21,717 --> 00:23:24,159
to various religions,
charities, you know?
465
00:23:24,179 --> 00:23:26,961
And the first guy says,
"Well, when I get all my money
466
00:23:26,961 --> 00:23:28,789
"I draw a line down the
center of the floor
467
00:23:28,823 --> 00:23:30,521
"and throw my money
up in the air.
468
00:23:30,604 --> 00:23:33,647
"What comes down on the right
side, I give to the Lord.
469
00:23:33,647 --> 00:23:35,308
On the left side,
that's what I keep for myself."
470
00:23:35,308 --> 00:23:36,406
Good.
471
00:23:36,489 --> 00:23:38,447
Second guys says,
"I take all my money,
472
00:23:38,531 --> 00:23:40,833
"I throw it up in the air,
what comes down heads
473
00:23:40,853 --> 00:23:43,823
I give to the Lord.
Tails, I keep for myself."
474
00:23:43,906 --> 00:23:45,472
- Now...
- Another good one.
475
00:23:45,555 --> 00:23:47,577
Now Uncle Morris says
476
00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:50,302
"I take my money,
I throw it up in the air.
477
00:23:50,302 --> 00:23:53,472
What stays in the air,
I give to the Lord."
478
00:23:54,196 --> 00:23:56,176
That why uncle's thrifty.
479
00:24:03,596 --> 00:24:05,431
[John Sebastian singing "Welcome back"]
480
00:24:09,951 --> 00:24:12,784
♪ Welcome back ♪
481
00:24:12,867 --> 00:24:16,309
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
482
00:24:16,392 --> 00:24:18,573
♪ Welcome back ♪
483
00:24:18,656 --> 00:24:23,446
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
484
00:24:23,529 --> 00:24:27,756
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
485
00:24:27,839 --> 00:24:32,282
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
486
00:24:32,365 --> 00:24:34,502
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
487
00:24:34,585 --> 00:24:36,329
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
488
00:24:36,412 --> 00:24:38,462
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
489
00:24:38,545 --> 00:24:40,595
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
490
00:24:40,678 --> 00:24:44,555
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
491
00:24:44,638 --> 00:24:46,992
♪ Welcome back ♪
492
00:24:47,075 --> 00:24:51,170
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
493
00:24:51,253 --> 00:24:53,477
♪ Welcome back Welcome back ♪
494
00:24:53,560 --> 00:24:55,653
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
495
00:24:55,736 --> 00:24:57,786
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
496
00:24:57,869 --> 00:24:59,917
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
497
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,225
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
498
00:25:02,308 --> 00:25:06,268
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot
'cause we got him on the spot ♪♪
36704
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