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00:00:03,305 --> 00:00:04,568
Julie, did I tell you about
the time I went
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00:00:04,568 --> 00:00:06,831
to visit my Uncle Moe Kotter
in the hospital?
3
00:00:06,853 --> 00:00:09,598
No. Why don't you tell me about
the time you went
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00:00:09,598 --> 00:00:12,988
to visit your Uncle Moe Kotter
in the hospital.
5
00:00:13,071 --> 00:00:16,727
- Well, I would be delighted to!
- Good.
6
00:00:16,810 --> 00:00:18,855
See, he was in an oxygen tank,
and I went to see him
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00:00:18,874 --> 00:00:20,876
and he looked up at me
and he said...
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[groaning]
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00:00:28,751 --> 00:00:30,994
- What did that mean?
- That's what I asked my aunt.
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00:00:31,077 --> 00:00:33,177
I said,
"What is he trying to say?"
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00:00:33,260 --> 00:00:34,882
She said, "He's saying,
air hose, dummy.
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00:00:34,882 --> 00:00:38,638
You're steppin' on the
air hose."
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00:00:38,721 --> 00:00:40,462
[Gabriel Kaplan] "Welcome Back, Kotter"
is recorded live
14
00:00:40,545 --> 00:00:42,377
before a studio audience.
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00:00:42,460 --> 00:00:45,789
[John Sebastian singing "Welcome back Kotter"]
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00:00:50,207 --> 00:00:52,864
♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:00:52,947 --> 00:00:56,782
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
18
00:00:56,865 --> 00:00:59,002
♪ Welcome back ♪
19
00:00:59,085 --> 00:01:03,789
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
20
00:01:03,872 --> 00:01:08,098
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
21
00:01:08,181 --> 00:01:12,755
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
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00:01:12,838 --> 00:01:14,798
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
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00:01:14,798 --> 00:01:16,456
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
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00:01:16,539 --> 00:01:18,589
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
25
00:01:18,672 --> 00:01:20,765
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
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00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:24,987
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
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00:01:25,069 --> 00:01:27,120
♪ Welcome back ♪
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00:01:27,203 --> 00:01:29,383
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
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00:01:29,465 --> 00:01:33,447
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
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00:01:33,947 --> 00:01:35,407
♪♪
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[bell ringing]
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00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:50,901
Alright, alright!
33
00:01:51,457 --> 00:01:53,700
Test time! Test time!
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00:01:53,782 --> 00:01:55,087
[all students] Aww!
35
00:01:55,170 --> 00:01:59,112
Alright, everybody,
get your red-hot test.
36
00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:01,295
What's that you say,
you're not satisfied?
37
00:02:01,478 --> 00:02:03,557
You say you want
more for your money.
38
00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:06,304
Alright, I'll tell
ya what I'm gonna do.
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00:02:06,304 --> 00:02:09,524
With each and every test comes
a coupon entitling the bearer
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00:02:09,568 --> 00:02:14,572
to a five-pound wedge of fat
chamada mozzarella cheese.
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00:02:14,572 --> 00:02:16,954
This is the cheese that
you hold up to the light
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00:02:16,954 --> 00:02:19,316
and you see what
little Willy saw
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00:02:19,317 --> 00:02:21,859
behind the barn door.
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00:02:22,514 --> 00:02:24,255
Take a test and pass the rest.
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00:02:24,338 --> 00:02:26,202
Take a test and pass the rest.
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00:02:26,222 --> 00:02:28,019
Hey, Mr. Kotter,
mine's blank here.
47
00:02:28,019 --> 00:02:30,783
[indistinct chattering]
48
00:02:30,875 --> 00:02:34,459
Oh, yeah, this is one
test I think I can pass.
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00:02:35,583 --> 00:02:37,204
Hey, they're all blank.
50
00:02:37,287 --> 00:02:40,631
Mine has a little
note attached.
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00:02:41,954 --> 00:02:44,096
"Dear, Mr. Kotter.
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00:02:45,079 --> 00:02:47,823
"As usual,
by the time I got around
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00:02:47,823 --> 00:02:50,965
"to mimeo'ing the tests
for your class
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00:02:51,048 --> 00:02:53,855
the mimeo machine
broke down."
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00:02:53,992 --> 00:02:55,452
Oh!
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00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,383
"Sincerely, Mrs. Bezudi.
57
00:03:04,268 --> 00:03:07,685
PS, I think I love you."
58
00:03:08,291 --> 00:03:10,767
Oh, oh, oh!
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00:03:10,850 --> 00:03:12,950
Hey, Mr. Kotter, you devil.
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00:03:13,371 --> 00:03:16,999
Hey, hey.
I hardly know Mrs. Bezudi.
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00:03:17,082 --> 00:03:19,182
She's the one with the bezudies.
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00:03:23,472 --> 00:03:25,816
Alright, alright,
I got bad news for everybody.
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00:03:25,899 --> 00:03:27,330
No test today.
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00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:30,104
[all students] Aww!
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00:03:30,187 --> 00:03:31,747
You promised!
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00:03:33,615 --> 00:03:36,421
Alright, look. Come on.
Let's get to work, okay?
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00:03:36,504 --> 00:03:38,225
I wanna show you
about the coastline
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00:03:38,308 --> 00:03:39,490
of the Southern United States.
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00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,471
We have a point...
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00:03:42,101 --> 00:03:44,835
[all laughing]
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00:03:44,918 --> 00:03:46,281
I don't believe this!
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00:03:46,364 --> 00:03:49,302
Two months ago, I asked
Mr. Woodman for a new map.
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00:03:49,385 --> 00:03:50,628
You know what he told me?
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00:03:50,633 --> 00:03:53,967
Said I should pick one
up at the gas station.
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00:03:54,050 --> 00:03:55,094
You know, Mr. Kotter,
it's time that
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00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,490
you and me
did a little business.
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00:03:56,573 --> 00:03:59,141
Right? You need supplies,
and you need money.
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00:03:59,224 --> 00:04:00,546
Well, we could raise money.
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00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:02,971
There's plenty of ways to raise
money. For instance--
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00:04:02,972 --> 00:04:05,826
Oh! Oh-oh!
Oh! Oh, oh!
81
00:04:05,827 --> 00:04:07,575
Oh! Oh, oh!
82
00:04:07,658 --> 00:04:10,073
Oh! Oh! Oh!
83
00:04:12,980 --> 00:04:14,394
Oh!
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00:04:15,712 --> 00:04:18,518
I got it! I got it!
85
00:04:18,601 --> 00:04:21,985
Hey, kids, let's put on a show.
86
00:04:23,829 --> 00:04:26,731
How about a carwash?
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00:04:26,814 --> 00:04:30,519
I think we can raise a little
extra money on the hubcaps.
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00:04:31,537 --> 00:04:35,106
Come on, we, we need an idea
with a little c-lass.
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00:04:35,189 --> 00:04:38,779
Class? Hey, I could sell kisses.
90
00:04:42,396 --> 00:04:46,116
- And that's just for openers.
- Alright, that's enough.
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00:04:47,181 --> 00:04:49,101
It's enough, Vinnie, alright?
92
00:04:49,202 --> 00:04:53,053
I got it! Hey, kids,
let's put on a show!
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00:04:53,478 --> 00:04:55,847
I got an idea.
Listen to this.
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00:04:57,584 --> 00:04:59,684
I-S-B.
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00:05:00,143 --> 00:05:01,164
"I-S-B?"
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00:05:01,247 --> 00:05:02,678
In-School Bettin'.
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00:05:02,688 --> 00:05:05,255
Yeah, it's about time we
get bettin' off the streets
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00:05:05,291 --> 00:05:07,745
into the school here
where it belongs!
99
00:05:07,828 --> 00:05:09,313
[all applauding]
100
00:05:09,396 --> 00:05:10,834
Are you kiddin'?
I'll lay you five to two
101
00:05:10,916 --> 00:05:12,556
that'll never happen.
102
00:05:12,639 --> 00:05:14,640
I'll take that bet.
103
00:05:16,083 --> 00:05:18,183
[whispering] Mr. Kotter?
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00:05:18,746 --> 00:05:20,327
Mr. Kotter?
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00:05:21,509 --> 00:05:23,609
[shouting] Hey, kids! Let's put on a show!
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00:05:30,754 --> 00:05:32,214
A show!
107
00:05:34,328 --> 00:05:37,775
Arnold! Arnold, don't be shy!
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00:05:37,859 --> 00:05:39,141
Arnold,
if you have something to say
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00:05:39,141 --> 00:05:41,317
just come right out
and say it!
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00:05:41,365 --> 00:05:46,351
Well, Mr. Kotter... when
charities wanna raise money
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00:05:46,435 --> 00:05:49,178
they always go on TV.
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00:05:49,262 --> 00:05:51,743
And how, pray tell,
are we supposed to do that?
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00:05:51,826 --> 00:05:55,010
We-e-ell, Mr. Kotter.
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00:05:55,010 --> 00:05:57,950
I happen to be a frequent
watcher
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of Channel 52.4.
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00:06:01,681 --> 00:06:04,438
- It's right here in Brooklyn.
- Yeah, I know the channel.
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00:06:04,522 --> 00:06:05,483
The only time
I can get it is
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00:06:05,483 --> 00:06:08,386
if I hook my antenna
up to my toaster.
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00:06:08,747 --> 00:06:10,847
That's the one.
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00:06:11,490 --> 00:06:14,210
Well, Mr. Kotter,
I feel that they would just leap
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00:06:14,293 --> 00:06:16,856
at the chance for
a Sweathog telethon.
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00:06:18,639 --> 00:06:21,862
Arnold, why don't you
leap back to your seat?
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00:06:25,323 --> 00:06:29,144
Look, nobody could possibly
convince a television station
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00:06:29,226 --> 00:06:30,902
to do a Sweathog telethon.
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00:06:30,986 --> 00:06:32,667
Nobody in their right mind
would even try.
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00:06:32,751 --> 00:06:34,952
Sure, but we could try.
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00:06:36,495 --> 00:06:37,955
Uh, Kotter.
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00:06:39,238 --> 00:06:41,281
Uh, Kotter,
I want to apologize
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00:06:41,281 --> 00:06:43,719
for the way you and your
Sweathogs have been treated
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00:06:43,724 --> 00:06:46,818
in regard to supplies,
and I promise you
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00:06:46,901 --> 00:06:49,088
it will never happen again.
132
00:06:49,171 --> 00:06:52,326
Ask me why it will
never happen again.
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00:06:53,555 --> 00:06:56,688
Why will it never happen again?
134
00:06:56,771 --> 00:07:00,065
Well, it's funny you
should ask that, Kotter.
135
00:07:00,065 --> 00:07:02,106
Uh, I've been making
some budget cuts
136
00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:07,193
and unless the money fairy
comes up with 700 big ones
137
00:07:07,217 --> 00:07:10,238
I'm dropping
the Remedial Academics Program
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00:07:10,321 --> 00:07:11,662
for this semester.
139
00:07:11,662 --> 00:07:13,882
- Hey, wait...
- You can't do that.
140
00:07:13,883 --> 00:07:15,105
Mr. Woodman, you can't do that.
141
00:07:15,109 --> 00:07:16,631
I mean,
these kids need this program.
142
00:07:16,651 --> 00:07:19,552
They have, uh,
special problems.
143
00:07:19,635 --> 00:07:24,008
Yeah. I know I got
special problems.
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00:07:25,175 --> 00:07:28,047
You can't break us up.
I mean, we go together.
145
00:07:28,131 --> 00:07:31,113
Like, like submarine
and sandwich.
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00:07:32,698 --> 00:07:35,903
You, Sweathogs, will be absorbed
in the mainstream of the school
147
00:07:35,903 --> 00:07:38,938
where you will never be seen
or heard from again.
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00:07:39,021 --> 00:07:40,566
[laughing]
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00:07:40,649 --> 00:07:42,109
Mr. Woodman.
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00:07:42,872 --> 00:07:43,953
Mr. Woodman!
151
00:07:44,036 --> 00:07:46,921
- Hey, hey, he can't do that!
- Eh, he can't do that.
152
00:07:46,921 --> 00:07:50,104
- Can he do that?
- He can do that.
153
00:07:52,283 --> 00:07:53,893
Hey, that's just not fair, man.
154
00:07:53,976 --> 00:07:55,956
Well,
I am not gonna let it happen.
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00:07:56,039 --> 00:07:59,305
I'm gonna call up Channel 52.4...
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00:07:59,581 --> 00:08:01,975
...if they have a phone
157
00:08:02,008 --> 00:08:06,142
and I am gonna convince them
into doing a Sweathog telethon.
158
00:08:06,225 --> 00:08:08,945
Hey, kids, let's put on a show!
159
00:08:08,946 --> 00:08:09,746
Alright!
160
00:08:09,747 --> 00:08:11,204
[all cheering]
161
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,530
- You, Kotter?
- Me Kotter. Who you?
162
00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,341
Me Oliver Miles.
So what's this revolutionary
163
00:08:23,341 --> 00:08:25,300
idea you called
my TV station about?
164
00:08:25,383 --> 00:08:28,054
Oh, Oliver, thanks for comin'
over. Well, I don't have--
165
00:08:28,137 --> 00:08:30,840
Hey, don't worry about it,
kid. I'm a genius.
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00:08:30,849 --> 00:08:34,127
Whatever you got,
I can make it work.
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00:08:34,210 --> 00:08:36,312
I got a telethon!
168
00:08:36,395 --> 00:08:39,378
- I can't make it work.
- No, no, no, Oliver, look.
169
00:08:39,398 --> 00:08:43,340
It would be a direct remote
right from this classroom.
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00:08:43,423 --> 00:08:45,322
I've got an idea.
171
00:08:45,405 --> 00:08:46,865
I see.
172
00:08:47,087 --> 00:08:50,189
I see a direct remote
from the classroom.
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00:08:52,227 --> 00:08:53,985
Students working
on their own behalf.
174
00:08:54,068 --> 00:08:57,005
I see students working
on their own behalf.
175
00:09:00,356 --> 00:09:04,819
- Oliver, you're a genius!
- Oliver, you're a genius!
176
00:09:06,821 --> 00:09:08,363
Who we got for talent?
177
00:09:08,446 --> 00:09:11,569
Well, my wife sings and I've
been known to tell a few jokes.
178
00:09:11,589 --> 00:09:15,115
Really?
You don't look funny.
179
00:09:15,134 --> 00:09:19,333
Thank you.
Uh, my Sweathogs can perform.
180
00:09:19,958 --> 00:09:21,461
Performing Sweathogs.
181
00:09:23,042 --> 00:09:25,619
Is that an animal act?
182
00:09:25,702 --> 00:09:28,385
No, no, no, those are my
students, the Sweathogs.
183
00:09:28,468 --> 00:09:30,630
And they've got
all sorts of talent.
184
00:09:30,630 --> 00:09:35,940
I'm sure you'd love them,
if you got a chance to see them!
185
00:09:40,110 --> 00:09:42,029
♪ Me ♪
186
00:09:42,112 --> 00:09:47,727
♪ And my shadow ♪
187
00:09:47,814 --> 00:09:53,471
♪ Strollin' down the avenue ♪
188
00:09:53,558 --> 00:09:55,563
♪ And while
we're on the subject ♪
189
00:09:55,646 --> 00:09:57,610
♪ Me ♪
190
00:09:57,693 --> 00:10:02,785
♪ And my sha-a-adow ♪
191
00:10:02,872 --> 00:10:07,751
♪ Not a soul to tell
our troubles to ♪
192
00:10:07,834 --> 00:10:09,247
[feet tap]
193
00:10:11,054 --> 00:10:14,487
♪ And when it's 12 o'clock ♪
194
00:10:14,487 --> 00:10:17,972
♪ We climb the stairs ♪
195
00:10:18,055 --> 00:10:20,019
♪ We never knock ♪
196
00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:21,759
[feet tapping]
197
00:10:21,842 --> 00:10:24,544
♪ 'Cause nobody's there ♪
198
00:10:24,627 --> 00:10:27,243
♪ Just me ♪
199
00:10:27,326 --> 00:10:32,549
♪ And my shadow ♪
200
00:10:32,636 --> 00:10:36,644
♪ All alone and feeling blue ♪
201
00:10:36,727 --> 00:10:40,387
♪ Yeah we're alone
and feeling blue ♪
202
00:10:40,470 --> 00:10:41,930
♪♪
203
00:10:43,473 --> 00:10:47,063
♪ All alone and feelin'... ♪♪
204
00:10:49,122 --> 00:10:51,797
- Alright.
- Everybody, move the chairs.
205
00:10:52,477 --> 00:10:53,874
[Vinnie] Alright.
Hey, move 'em over here.
206
00:10:53,957 --> 00:10:55,417
- Sure.
- Alright.
207
00:10:57,379 --> 00:11:01,444
Honey, I'm so nervous.
I've never been on TV before.
208
00:11:01,565 --> 00:11:05,249
Don't you worry, baby.
I'm gonna handle everything.
209
00:11:05,332 --> 00:11:07,432
I'm Mr. Cool.
210
00:11:07,756 --> 00:11:11,941
All you have to do, you sweet
thing is answer the phone.
211
00:11:12,024 --> 00:11:16,819
The phone? You're doing
a telethon with one phone?
212
00:11:16,902 --> 00:11:22,468
Uh, sorry, Mrs. Kotter, but this
is all we could... appropriate.
213
00:11:22,551 --> 00:11:24,011
Hello, London.
214
00:11:25,755 --> 00:11:27,215
Oh, Kotter!
215
00:11:29,098 --> 00:11:30,557
- Kotter.
- Waiter, waiter, waiter.
216
00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:34,322
Look, could I have a table for
two right over there?
217
00:11:35,894 --> 00:11:37,504
Come on, cut it out, Kotter.
218
00:11:37,587 --> 00:11:39,087
I mean, as long as you're going
through with this
219
00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,784
I decided to join your show.
220
00:11:40,831 --> 00:11:43,734
Not many people know this,
Kotter, but I sing.
221
00:11:43,894 --> 00:11:45,038
No.
222
00:11:45,121 --> 00:11:47,587
Alright, alright!
30 seconds to airtime!
223
00:11:47,587 --> 00:11:51,361
Thirty seconds to airtime!
224
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:54,143
- Clear the camera area!
- Clear the camera area!
225
00:11:54,226 --> 00:11:55,686
Hey, uh...
226
00:11:56,922 --> 00:11:59,903
- Get away!
- Get away!
227
00:12:02,251 --> 00:12:04,514
Hello,
is this the Acapulco operator?
228
00:12:04,597 --> 00:12:06,581
Alright, ten seconds, everyone.
Break a leg.
229
00:12:06,618 --> 00:12:10,444
Eh, which leg do
you want broke, huh?
230
00:12:10,464 --> 00:12:12,858
Hello, Mexico?
I wanna talk to Mr. Big.
231
00:12:12,888 --> 00:12:14,927
There you go, Kotter.
232
00:12:15,010 --> 00:12:16,449
Oh, you know, Oliver,
I think I should've been
233
00:12:16,532 --> 00:12:18,452
in show business
my whole life.
234
00:12:18,535 --> 00:12:19,997
I mean, I'm just...
235
00:12:20,037 --> 00:12:22,909
There's ice water running
through these veins.
236
00:12:22,922 --> 00:12:26,470
Three, two, one!
You're on the air!
237
00:12:29,221 --> 00:12:32,594
[babbling]
238
00:12:35,209 --> 00:12:38,081
- Hello, Brooklyn.
- Hello, Brooklyn.
239
00:12:38,164 --> 00:12:42,823
And welcome to
the "Sweathog Telethon."
240
00:12:42,905 --> 00:12:47,264
We're here to raise money
for underprivileged children.
241
00:12:47,264 --> 00:12:48,065
[continues babbling]
242
00:12:48,148 --> 00:12:53,766
Which... is what my husband
is trying to say.
243
00:12:53,767 --> 00:12:54,741
Me, I'm husband.
244
00:12:54,742 --> 00:12:58,352
Not her. Me!
Not her.
245
00:12:58,352 --> 00:13:03,654
Ah! Which reminds me of a song.
246
00:13:07,184 --> 00:13:08,146
Hit it.
247
00:13:08,229 --> 00:13:10,931
[piano playing]
248
00:13:11,014 --> 00:13:15,410
♪ Let me entertain you ♪
249
00:13:15,493 --> 00:13:17,878
♪ Let me make you smile... ♪
250
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:20,566
You told me I could sing,
Kotter.
251
00:13:20,586 --> 00:13:22,186
- He told me that I could sing.
- I'm doing my number.
252
00:13:22,186 --> 00:13:24,087
- Mrs. Kotter.
- Mr. Woodman.
253
00:13:24,170 --> 00:13:26,412
Kotter, pull yourself together!
254
00:13:26,433 --> 00:13:28,217
The show must go on.
255
00:13:28,300 --> 00:13:30,022
Those kids are
depending on you, Kotter.
256
00:13:30,058 --> 00:13:33,062
Kotter, remember.
You're going out there a nobody.
257
00:13:33,102 --> 00:13:34,464
But you're coming
back a star.
258
00:13:34,465 --> 00:13:36,292
- A star.
- Now, get out there!
259
00:13:36,293 --> 00:13:38,217
[Michael] Mrs. Kotter,
if there was any order--
260
00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,994
[Gabe] Mr. Woodman,
give it to me later.
261
00:13:40,077 --> 00:13:42,240
Give it to me later. Okay? Just
wait over here for a minute.
262
00:13:42,323 --> 00:13:44,548
♪ Let me do a few tricks ♪
263
00:13:44,631 --> 00:13:47,702
♪ Some old and then
some new tricks ♪
264
00:13:47,785 --> 00:13:52,093
♪ I'm very versatile ♪♪
265
00:13:52,176 --> 00:13:55,651
Yes, uh, that was my wife
singing about some of the old
266
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:57,039
and some of the new tricks.
267
00:13:57,039 --> 00:13:58,729
[chuckles]
268
00:13:59,518 --> 00:14:01,618
She's very versatile.
269
00:14:01,900 --> 00:14:06,201
Well, my name is Mr. Kotter,
and we'd like to welcome you
270
00:14:06,284 --> 00:14:09,069
to the, uh, "Sweathog Telethon."
271
00:14:09,086 --> 00:14:10,546
Hello.
272
00:14:10,804 --> 00:14:12,886
Oh, yeah, the little guy
with the short hair.
273
00:14:12,969 --> 00:14:14,261
Oh, the curly hair?
274
00:14:14,271 --> 00:14:17,730
Oh, that's Juan Epstein, yeah.
275
00:14:18,011 --> 00:14:21,056
Hey, Juan, somebody wants
to pay money to see your face.
276
00:14:21,139 --> 00:14:22,941
Get out in front of the camera.
277
00:14:22,941 --> 00:14:25,462
Yeah, so we're counting on
all you people from Brooklyn
278
00:14:25,545 --> 00:14:31,120
to come in and give us the $700
which we so desperately need.
279
00:14:31,203 --> 00:14:33,385
Thank you very much.
This is one of the students.
280
00:14:33,715 --> 00:14:34,815
Hey, Juan, you're in the clear.
281
00:14:34,898 --> 00:14:38,335
The lady says you ain't the one
that snatched her purse.
282
00:14:40,866 --> 00:14:43,289
We'll be right back with the
rest of our telethon
283
00:14:43,372 --> 00:14:45,940
so stay with us, we have a word
from station identification
284
00:14:45,999 --> 00:14:47,860
and we'll see you in a minute.
285
00:14:47,943 --> 00:14:50,988
Uh, Kotter, Kotter,
now that you're yourself again
286
00:14:51,071 --> 00:14:52,935
uh, introduce me,
and this is important, Kotter.
287
00:14:52,935 --> 00:14:55,318
I'm not using
my first name Michael.
288
00:14:55,401 --> 00:14:59,426
So, uh, just say, "Ladies
and gentlemen, Woodman!"
289
00:15:00,667 --> 00:15:01,889
Later, Mr. Woodman. Later.
290
00:15:01,972 --> 00:15:02,937
- Okay?
- Not yet.
291
00:15:03,020 --> 00:15:04,760
- Later.
- Not yet. Not yet.
292
00:15:04,843 --> 00:15:06,497
Oh, hi, I see we're back.
293
00:15:06,534 --> 00:15:08,374
Well, just follow us
right over here
294
00:15:08,457 --> 00:15:10,480
and we're gonna walk over
to see our tote girl
295
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:12,652
Vernajean Williams,
and our tote board.
296
00:15:12,735 --> 00:15:16,120
Vernajean, would you tell us
what our total is so far?
297
00:15:16,188 --> 00:15:18,582
Oh, yeah.
Oh, sure, sure. Let's see.
298
00:15:18,652 --> 00:15:22,957
So... man, so far we
ain't made a plug nickel.
299
00:15:25,161 --> 00:15:27,806
Well, I'm sure
you people out there
300
00:15:27,889 --> 00:15:29,792
are just waiting for our
entertainment to start.
301
00:15:29,792 --> 00:15:32,716
And you're gonna send in
your money soon, right? Okay.
302
00:15:32,736 --> 00:15:34,651
Well, we'd like to
start of right now
303
00:15:34,659 --> 00:15:37,532
with the boy you just met
the Puerto Rican Jewish madcap.
304
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:40,790
Here he is, Juan Epstein.
Come on, let's hear it.
305
00:15:40,791 --> 00:15:44,447
[all cheering]
306
00:15:46,223 --> 00:15:47,707
[bongo playing]
307
00:15:47,790 --> 00:15:49,796
♪ Day-o... ♪
308
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:51,336
♪ Whoo! Whoo! ♪
309
00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:57,771
♪ Da-a-ay-o r-r-rut tu tu tu ♪
310
00:15:57,854 --> 00:16:01,252
♪ Daylight come
and me wanna go home ♪♪
311
00:16:01,335 --> 00:16:02,345
Eh, Murrie.
312
00:16:02,428 --> 00:16:04,790
It's me, Murrie.
I'm on the tube.
313
00:16:04,873 --> 00:16:08,594
That's five bucks, sucker.
You owe me five bucks.
314
00:16:08,835 --> 00:16:09,916
I'm on the tube man.
315
00:16:09,999 --> 00:16:10,999
- Right here.
- Thank you, Murrie.
316
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,381
- Here is Kotter, man.
- Hello, Murrie.
317
00:16:12,381 --> 00:16:13,991
- Hello, Murrie.
- I'm on tube, man
318
00:16:14,074 --> 00:16:16,796
How about it?
Here's Kotter, man.
319
00:16:16,797 --> 00:16:19,139
I was on the tube.
What do ya say, Murrie?
320
00:16:20,284 --> 00:16:23,091
[piano playing]
321
00:16:24,201 --> 00:16:27,573
♪ Oo-o-oh ♪
322
00:16:29,404 --> 00:16:31,340
♪ Baby... ♪
323
00:16:37,543 --> 00:16:38,957
Hi, there.
324
00:16:40,546 --> 00:16:43,070
From high atop the fabulous
appointed
325
00:16:43,153 --> 00:16:44,955
Sweathog Room
of Buchanan High School
326
00:16:45,038 --> 00:16:50,826
this is Freddie
"Boom Boom" Washington.
327
00:16:50,904 --> 00:16:55,960
Appealing for,
anything you can spare.
328
00:16:56,043 --> 00:16:57,503
Five dollars.
329
00:16:58,147 --> 00:17:00,328
Two dollars, one dollar.
330
00:17:00,411 --> 00:17:01,493
A quarter.
331
00:17:01,576 --> 00:17:03,119
Anything at all.
332
00:17:03,202 --> 00:17:04,659
[chuckles]
333
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:06,774
A dime.
334
00:17:08,903 --> 00:17:12,302
A dime you say? A dime?
335
00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:13,782
What happened-what happened
to the big money?
336
00:17:13,865 --> 00:17:15,856
We can't live on no dimes!
337
00:17:15,856 --> 00:17:17,840
That's alright.
We'll take the dime.
338
00:17:17,923 --> 00:17:20,266
Send in the dime.
We'll take the dime.
339
00:17:20,349 --> 00:17:22,634
Alright. A dime.
340
00:17:35,469 --> 00:17:41,305
- Hello, dummy.
- Hello, Mr. Kotter.
341
00:17:41,388 --> 00:17:44,130
[laughing]
342
00:17:44,213 --> 00:17:47,702
Well, dummy, so far the telethon
is just going great.
343
00:17:47,705 --> 00:17:51,269
And there's a lady out there
that says she'll send in $25
344
00:17:51,352 --> 00:17:54,899
if while I drink a glass
of water, you can sing.
345
00:17:56,703 --> 00:17:59,067
Can we do that, Mr. Kotter?
346
00:17:59,150 --> 00:18:01,411
Oh, I think we should give
the old high school a try.
347
00:18:01,494 --> 00:18:05,557
I'm gonna drink the water,
and you're gonna sing.
348
00:18:05,558 --> 00:18:06,358
[gurgling]
349
00:18:06,405 --> 00:18:09,690
[humming]
350
00:18:11,906 --> 00:18:15,844
Ah, that's terrific.
You sit down and relax.
351
00:18:27,378 --> 00:18:28,578
Thank you, thank you.
That was the wonderful
352
00:18:28,579 --> 00:18:30,701
Arnold Horshack as the dummy.
353
00:18:30,702 --> 00:18:34,557
And now, for our final act of
the evening, I'd like to--
354
00:18:34,640 --> 00:18:37,374
- No, not yet, Mr. Woodman.
- You said it's the final act.
355
00:18:37,457 --> 00:18:38,819
- Not yet. Not yet.
- Final act.
356
00:18:38,839 --> 00:18:39,980
Not yet. Not yet.
357
00:18:40,060 --> 00:18:43,784
Ladies and gentlemen,
here is that Sicilian songbird
358
00:18:43,784 --> 00:18:47,613
the wonderful,
Mr. Vinnie Barbarino.
359
00:18:47,696 --> 00:18:51,069
[all cheering]
360
00:18:59,229 --> 00:19:03,455
♪ I'll sing
ba ba ba ba Barbarino ♪
361
00:19:03,538 --> 00:19:07,154
♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbarino ♪
362
00:19:07,237 --> 00:19:09,766
♪ Ba ba ba ba Barbari ♪
363
00:19:09,849 --> 00:19:12,071
♪ You got me
rockin' and a-rollin' ♪
364
00:19:12,154 --> 00:19:13,138
♪ Rockin' and a-reelin' ♪
365
00:19:13,150 --> 00:19:15,155
♪ Barbarino ♪
366
00:19:15,238 --> 00:19:17,028
♪ You got me
rockin' and a-reelin' ♪
367
00:19:17,110 --> 00:19:19,987
♪ And Barbarino
Vinnie Barbarino ♪
368
00:19:20,070 --> 00:19:21,510
♪ You got me rockin' whoo ♪
369
00:19:21,593 --> 00:19:23,120
♪ You got me reelin' ooh ♪
370
00:19:23,203 --> 00:19:27,490
♪ You got me ooh
Barbarino yeah yeah ♪♪
371
00:19:30,593 --> 00:19:32,439
Thank you very much.
Thank you. Thank you.
372
00:19:32,521 --> 00:19:35,354
That was the wonderful
Vinnie Barbarino
373
00:19:35,437 --> 00:19:37,265
with the "Barbarino" song.
374
00:19:37,348 --> 00:19:39,143
Thank you, Vinnie.
We enjoyed that very much.
375
00:19:39,225 --> 00:19:42,073
We have some additional
pledges here I'd like to read.
376
00:19:42,074 --> 00:19:44,280
We have a $5 pledge
from the Elite Poolroom.
377
00:19:44,281 --> 00:19:46,823
"A nice place to
bring the whole family."
378
00:19:46,907 --> 00:19:48,809
Thank you very much,
Elite Poolroom.
379
00:19:48,892 --> 00:19:50,589
"After seeing our show
in particularly
380
00:19:50,597 --> 00:19:52,700
"the ventriloquist number,
the drunks in Harry's Bar
381
00:19:52,782 --> 00:19:55,065
have pledged to quit drinking."
382
00:19:55,779 --> 00:19:57,983
Thank you,
drunks at Harry's Bar.
383
00:19:58,066 --> 00:20:01,492
We have a $15 pledge from Our
Lady Of Spain Accordion School.
384
00:20:01,571 --> 00:20:02,924
Keep squeezing that accordion.
385
00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:05,018
Thank you very much Our Lady
Of Spain Accordion School.
386
00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:06,601
Let's see what time it is?
387
00:20:06,621 --> 00:20:08,243
Well, we're almost out of time.
388
00:20:08,243 --> 00:20:11,322
Vernajean, will you tell us
what our grand total is?
389
00:20:11,406 --> 00:20:12,528
[Vernajean] Certainly, Gabesy!
390
00:20:12,611 --> 00:20:17,370
Right now,
our grand total is $678.
391
00:20:17,453 --> 00:20:19,274
- Alright!
- Whoo-hoo!
392
00:20:19,357 --> 00:20:21,519
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
393
00:20:21,602 --> 00:20:25,019
That's not enough.
We're $22 short.
394
00:20:25,102 --> 00:20:26,665
I think we've had
some fun here tonight.
395
00:20:26,748 --> 00:20:29,007
You've seen some good
entertainment, a good time.
396
00:20:29,090 --> 00:20:30,383
But we're $22 short.
397
00:20:30,393 --> 00:20:33,134
And I would like to make
a personal plea right now
398
00:20:33,176 --> 00:20:34,675
to the teachers out there.
399
00:20:34,758 --> 00:20:37,086
Teachers that have normal
students.
400
00:20:38,302 --> 00:20:40,702
Epstein,
come in here a minute.
401
00:20:40,785 --> 00:20:42,845
Come on in here, Epstein.
402
00:20:42,928 --> 00:20:45,128
How'd you like to walk into
your classroom 9 o'clock
403
00:20:45,211 --> 00:20:48,294
every morning and have
to look at this, huh?
404
00:20:49,647 --> 00:20:52,409
We need $22.
Thank you very much.
405
00:20:52,493 --> 00:20:57,888
- Washington, come in here.
- Hi, there.
406
00:20:57,898 --> 00:21:01,773
Washington, how many times have
you said "Hi, there" this month?
407
00:21:01,856 --> 00:21:04,391
- Hi, there.
- Goodbye there, Washing--
408
00:21:04,391 --> 00:21:05,854
Can I say somethin' to my
brother?
409
00:21:05,854 --> 00:21:07,148
- No.
- What's happening, Leroy?
410
00:21:07,149 --> 00:21:09,025
I'm on TV, baby.
411
00:21:09,109 --> 00:21:12,677
Horshack, come on in here?
This is Arnold Horshack.
412
00:21:12,761 --> 00:21:15,263
Horshack, suppose
I say something in class
413
00:21:15,263 --> 00:21:18,146
and you know the answer, how do
you, how do you raise your hand?
414
00:21:18,147 --> 00:21:20,675
Oh! Oh! Oh!
415
00:21:20,758 --> 00:21:22,358
And if you thought something was
funny, how would you laugh?
416
00:21:22,358 --> 00:21:24,408
[laughing]
417
00:21:24,492 --> 00:21:26,293
Thank you very much.
We need $22.
418
00:21:26,377 --> 00:21:28,700
Barbarino,
please come in here.
419
00:21:30,964 --> 00:21:34,024
Barbarino,
what did we learn yesterday?
420
00:21:34,025 --> 00:21:35,485
What?
421
00:21:36,531 --> 00:21:39,032
What did we learn
the day before yesterday?
422
00:21:39,115 --> 00:21:40,575
What?
423
00:21:40,754 --> 00:21:42,756
What have you
learned all year?
424
00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:44,834
- What?
- Thank you very much.
425
00:21:44,834 --> 00:21:48,059
Alright, that's $22,
let's get it in for me, okay?
426
00:21:48,060 --> 00:21:50,253
Yes. Yes, he will.
427
00:21:50,254 --> 00:21:52,517
Gabe, there's some nutty lady
on the phone who says
428
00:21:52,517 --> 00:21:55,563
that she'll send the $22
if you'll sing like you used to
429
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,305
when you were a little boy.
430
00:21:57,311 --> 00:21:59,413
She says you know the song.
431
00:22:02,193 --> 00:22:06,096
Ma, how could you do this to me,
ma?
432
00:22:06,179 --> 00:22:07,923
Gabe, your mother is waiting.
433
00:22:08,006 --> 00:22:11,310
I'm not gonna do it.
Not gonna do it.
434
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:12,070
[Freddie] We need the money, man.
435
00:22:12,071 --> 00:22:13,887
- Money!
- Shh! Shh! Shh!
436
00:22:17,580 --> 00:22:18,541
No! Oh, no!
437
00:22:18,624 --> 00:22:19,847
[indistinct chattering]
438
00:22:19,930 --> 00:22:21,390
No!
439
00:22:21,588 --> 00:22:23,218
[Vernajean] Come on, man.
The floor is yours.
440
00:22:23,301 --> 00:22:25,069
Ma, I'm gonna make
a fool out of myself
441
00:22:25,151 --> 00:22:27,254
in front
of the whole borough.
442
00:22:27,938 --> 00:22:30,741
♪ Shoo Fly Pie
and Apple Pan Dowdy ♪
443
00:22:30,741 --> 00:22:33,226
♪ Make your eyes light up ♪
444
00:22:33,309 --> 00:22:35,880
♪ Your tummy says howdy ♪♪
445
00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:39,449
- She's gonna send it. Great.
- She's sending the $22!
446
00:22:39,532 --> 00:22:40,668
Twenty two dollars!
447
00:22:40,751 --> 00:22:44,167
[all cheering]
448
00:22:44,522 --> 00:22:46,501
Hey, thank you very much.
449
00:22:46,584 --> 00:22:47,892
Thank you, Brooklyn,
that about wraps it up.
450
00:22:47,975 --> 00:22:49,436
You're beautiful.
451
00:22:49,890 --> 00:22:53,326
♪ I did it my way ♪
452
00:22:53,326 --> 00:22:56,503
♪ For what is a man
what has he-- ♪
453
00:22:56,537 --> 00:22:58,386
Let's talk later, Mr. Woodman.
454
00:22:58,704 --> 00:23:01,493
♪ If not himself
then he has not ♪
455
00:23:01,576 --> 00:23:04,147
♪ To say the things
he really feels ♪
456
00:23:04,230 --> 00:23:07,368
♪ And not the words
of one who kneels ♪
457
00:23:07,451 --> 00:23:09,088
♪ The record shows... ♪♪
458
00:23:09,171 --> 00:23:12,498
[theme music]
459
00:23:19,330 --> 00:23:22,391
Julie, baby, did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Ben?
460
00:23:22,475 --> 00:23:24,715
No. Did he make rice?
461
00:23:32,930 --> 00:23:35,650
No, he didn't make rice.
462
00:23:35,734 --> 00:23:37,237
He was a little cuckoo,
you know?
463
00:23:37,257 --> 00:23:38,916
So he went to a psychiatrist.
464
00:23:38,999 --> 00:23:41,102
So the psychiatrist said,
"Mr. Kotter, I'm sorry
465
00:23:41,102 --> 00:23:43,059
to tell you this,
but you're schizophrenic."
466
00:23:43,142 --> 00:23:45,324
Uh-oh.
What did Uncle Ben say?
467
00:23:45,407 --> 00:23:47,788
Uncle Ben said, "Thank you very
much, how much do I owe you?"
468
00:23:47,871 --> 00:23:49,728
Psychiatrist says,
"You owe $100."
469
00:23:49,811 --> 00:23:51,552
Uncle Ben gives him $50.
470
00:23:51,636 --> 00:23:53,334
Psychiatrist says,
"Where's the other $50?"
471
00:23:53,417 --> 00:23:56,321
Uncle Ben says,
"Get it from the other guy."
472
00:24:03,755 --> 00:24:06,344
[theme music]
473
00:24:10,936 --> 00:24:13,813
♪ Welcome back ♪
474
00:24:13,896 --> 00:24:17,468
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
475
00:24:17,551 --> 00:24:19,558
♪ Welcome back ♪
476
00:24:19,641 --> 00:24:24,388
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
477
00:24:24,471 --> 00:24:28,871
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
478
00:24:28,954 --> 00:24:33,353
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
479
00:24:33,436 --> 00:24:35,661
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
480
00:24:35,744 --> 00:24:37,228
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
481
00:24:37,310 --> 00:24:39,491
♪ Back here where we need ya
482
00:24:39,574 --> 00:24:41,580
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
483
00:24:41,663 --> 00:24:45,714
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
484
00:24:45,797 --> 00:24:47,977
♪ Welcome back ♪
485
00:24:48,060 --> 00:24:50,110
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
486
00:24:50,193 --> 00:24:52,329
♪ Welcome back ♪
487
00:24:52,412 --> 00:24:54,462
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
488
00:24:54,545 --> 00:24:56,638
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
489
00:24:56,721 --> 00:24:58,814
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
490
00:24:58,897 --> 00:25:00,990
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
491
00:25:01,073 --> 00:25:03,122
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
492
00:25:03,205 --> 00:25:05,469
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot... ♪♪
36623
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