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1
00:00:00,695 --> 00:00:02,296
Gabe, this is ridiculous.
2
00:00:02,380 --> 00:00:05,761
These kids are in and out
of this apartment day and night.
3
00:00:05,844 --> 00:00:08,664
We don't have any
private life anymore.
4
00:00:08,747 --> 00:00:10,647
I really think
that we should talk about it.
5
00:00:10,730 --> 00:00:12,546
I'm all ears.
6
00:00:12,629 --> 00:00:14,711
Here's an ear
and here's another ear.
7
00:00:14,794 --> 00:00:16,891
Gabe, be serious.
8
00:00:16,974 --> 00:00:21,719
Wherever we are, there's
a little Sweathog between us.
9
00:00:21,802 --> 00:00:25,767
Okay, all those who support
the candidacy
10
00:00:25,767 --> 00:00:28,089
of our present leader
Mr. Vinnie Barbarino
11
00:00:28,089 --> 00:00:30,068
raise your hand.
12
00:00:32,778 --> 00:00:36,476
It's a tie. Somebody did not v...
13
00:00:36,559 --> 00:00:38,302
Epstein, it's up to you, man.
14
00:00:38,302 --> 00:00:40,904
Who's the new leader
of the Sweathogs?
15
00:00:41,785 --> 00:00:42,995
Washington!
16
00:00:43,078 --> 00:00:45,232
[all cheering]
17
00:00:46,730 --> 00:00:49,093
You try. Go on, try
and do without me, alright?
18
00:00:49,176 --> 00:00:50,355
I'm droppin' outta school.
19
00:00:50,438 --> 00:00:53,397
Vinnie Barbarino
is coming here?
20
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,623
Look, Julie, his father threw
him outta the house. I mean...
21
00:00:55,705 --> 00:00:57,805
He came to me.
What was I gonna do?
22
00:00:58,288 --> 00:01:00,390
Goodbye, Mr. Kotter.
23
00:01:06,144 --> 00:01:08,760
[Kotter] We now continue
with part two of our story.
24
00:01:08,843 --> 00:01:11,737
[theme song]
25
00:01:16,851 --> 00:01:19,553
♪ Welcome back ♪
26
00:01:19,636 --> 00:01:23,209
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
27
00:01:23,292 --> 00:01:25,559
♪ Welcome back ♪
28
00:01:25,642 --> 00:01:30,303
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
29
00:01:30,386 --> 00:01:34,568
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
30
00:01:34,651 --> 00:01:36,917
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
31
00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:39,420
♪ And they've turned around ♪
32
00:01:39,503 --> 00:01:41,552
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
33
00:01:41,635 --> 00:01:43,380
♪ Who'd have thought they'd
lead ya ♪
34
00:01:43,463 --> 00:01:45,426
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
35
00:01:45,509 --> 00:01:47,515
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
36
00:01:47,598 --> 00:01:51,693
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
37
00:01:51,776 --> 00:01:53,912
♪ Welcome back ♪
38
00:01:53,995 --> 00:01:59,022
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
39
00:02:00,306 --> 00:02:02,416
[theme music]
40
00:02:06,268 --> 00:02:08,248
[knocking on window]
41
00:02:15,799 --> 00:02:17,260
Julie, honey.
42
00:02:18,448 --> 00:02:20,851
Here, hey. Honey, see who's
knocking on the window, Julie.
43
00:02:20,934 --> 00:02:22,934
I'm going back to sleep.
44
00:02:30,826 --> 00:02:32,925
Go ahead, honey.
45
00:02:33,069 --> 00:02:35,659
Wow, those exercises
are really working.
46
00:02:38,356 --> 00:02:40,456
You're not Julie.
47
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,719
I know that.
48
00:02:43,162 --> 00:02:46,566
- I'll answer the window.
- Go ahead.
49
00:02:51,266 --> 00:02:53,897
It's Epstein.
What's he doin' here?
50
00:02:53,980 --> 00:02:56,069
I don't know,
but I'm gonna find out.
51
00:02:56,151 --> 00:02:58,219
7:30 in the morning.
52
00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:01,996
Eps...
Wooh!
53
00:03:02,079 --> 00:03:05,077
Epstein, what are you doing here
at 7:30 in the morning?
54
00:03:05,160 --> 00:03:07,763
Oh, I came by for breakfast.
55
00:03:07,846 --> 00:03:10,449
This place was
highly recommended.
56
00:03:10,449 --> 00:03:12,042
By who?
57
00:03:12,125 --> 00:03:15,149
[laughing]
58
00:03:19,810 --> 00:03:22,511
Didn't I tell you not to
come here for breakfast anymore?
59
00:03:22,594 --> 00:03:26,315
They want breakfast?
I'll give 'em breakfast.
60
00:03:28,965 --> 00:03:33,290
- There, there's your breakfast.
- Dry cereal?
61
00:03:35,133 --> 00:03:37,287
So, where's the milk?
62
00:03:45,130 --> 00:03:46,540
Barbarino.
63
00:03:46,623 --> 00:03:50,801
Ey, I thought you said
we had reservations.
64
00:03:50,884 --> 00:03:54,670
Well, you know what happens
when a place gets popular.
65
00:03:54,670 --> 00:03:56,049
Alright, come in and dry off.
66
00:03:56,132 --> 00:03:59,574
What're you throwin' milk
at people for?
67
00:03:59,657 --> 00:04:01,757
So, Mr. Kotter.
68
00:04:02,801 --> 00:04:06,127
What's Vinnie doing here?
69
00:04:06,210 --> 00:04:08,386
He's giving me
a nervous breakdown.
70
00:04:08,469 --> 00:04:10,210
If his father doesn't
take him back in the house
71
00:04:10,252 --> 00:04:12,502
we're both gonna wind up
at a funny farm.
72
00:04:12,503 --> 00:04:14,678
[babbling]
73
00:04:15,362 --> 00:04:16,822
Oh?
74
00:04:17,424 --> 00:04:19,839
And where is Mrs. Kotter?
75
00:04:21,728 --> 00:04:25,797
I do not hear the crackle
of farm fresh country eggs.
76
00:04:26,973 --> 00:04:28,735
Cool it, turkey.
77
00:04:29,556 --> 00:04:31,736
Mrs. Kotter split.
78
00:04:31,858 --> 00:04:35,818
Oh. Oh-oh!
79
00:04:35,902 --> 00:04:37,640
Mr. Kotter!
80
00:04:37,724 --> 00:04:42,101
Oh, I am so sorry for you.
81
00:04:42,184 --> 00:04:46,143
- She took a powder, huh?
- Yeah, she did.
82
00:04:46,226 --> 00:04:51,407
Right after she told me I spend
too much time with my students.
83
00:04:51,493 --> 00:04:53,333
That's ridiculous.
84
00:04:53,535 --> 00:04:55,938
We haven't seen you
since we walked you home
85
00:04:55,938 --> 00:04:57,221
from school yesterday.
86
00:04:57,301 --> 00:04:58,102
Yeah.
87
00:04:58,185 --> 00:05:03,443
Well, I ain't gonna stay in the
same room with my ex friends.
88
00:05:03,443 --> 00:05:07,517
Benedict and Arnold.
89
00:05:08,207 --> 00:05:09,609
Why do I get
in the middle of this?
90
00:05:09,692 --> 00:05:11,511
I mean it might interest
you guys to know that
91
00:05:11,594 --> 00:05:15,707
there are some teachers who only
see their students in school.
92
00:05:15,791 --> 00:05:17,272
Julie was right,
I'm callin' her right now
93
00:05:17,356 --> 00:05:19,336
and tellin' her that.
94
00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,140
Don't you guys have
something to do?
95
00:05:23,223 --> 00:05:24,683
- No.
- No.
96
00:05:26,046 --> 00:05:27,765
Go feed your faces,
go ahead. Get something...
97
00:05:27,848 --> 00:05:30,368
Oh, hey, yeah,
I can taste them waffles.
98
00:05:30,452 --> 00:05:33,303
Argh, I'm gonna
make myself some waffles.
99
00:05:34,736 --> 00:05:36,836
How do you make waffles?
100
00:05:37,219 --> 00:05:40,200
Oh, it's kind of like
making pancakes.
101
00:05:40,283 --> 00:05:43,125
Only you gotta put
little dents in 'em.
102
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:47,601
Yes. Uh, could I have
Julie Kotter's room please?
103
00:05:48,821 --> 00:05:50,404
What'd you mean she's not?
She has to be.
104
00:05:50,487 --> 00:05:52,426
You're the only hotel
in the neighborhood.
105
00:05:52,510 --> 00:05:55,731
Uh, m-mister, could you
look up Julie Hanson?
106
00:05:55,814 --> 00:05:58,251
You see, Hanson's my wife's
maiden name and, uh
107
00:05:58,278 --> 00:06:01,222
we're married
and we had a little spat so...
108
00:06:01,242 --> 00:06:03,342
What do you mean who cares?
109
00:06:03,582 --> 00:06:04,825
Just look it up.
110
00:06:04,908 --> 00:06:08,280
My mother's maiden name
is Dingfelder.
111
00:06:10,113 --> 00:06:13,117
My middle name is Dingfelder.
112
00:06:13,117 --> 00:06:15,639
But I never use it.
I mean, how would that sound?
113
00:06:15,659 --> 00:06:18,919
Hello, how are ya?
114
00:06:19,003 --> 00:06:22,646
I'm Arnold Dingfelder Horshack.
115
00:06:22,729 --> 00:06:24,645
[laughing]
116
00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:28,390
Hey, will you guys cool it?
117
00:06:30,611 --> 00:06:33,513
Julie? Julie, hi honey.
How're you doing?
118
00:06:33,597 --> 00:06:35,533
Okay, what's new?
119
00:06:36,616 --> 00:06:38,895
You spoke to a lawyer?
120
00:06:38,978 --> 00:06:42,103
You spoke to my cousin,
Bernie the lawyer?
121
00:06:42,103 --> 00:06:45,278
Why didn't you speak to your
own cousin, Bernie the lawyer?
122
00:06:45,361 --> 00:06:47,929
There're no Bernies in Nebraska?
123
00:06:48,013 --> 00:06:50,017
Julie, what would make
my cousin represent you?
124
00:06:50,097 --> 00:06:53,138
Go against his own
flesh and blood.
125
00:06:53,222 --> 00:06:55,322
You gave him $75.
126
00:06:55,922 --> 00:06:57,727
Look, Julie, that's really
a stupid thing to do.
127
00:06:57,810 --> 00:06:59,951
You're really acting
like a yutz now, you know that?
128
00:07:00,034 --> 00:07:02,237
You're a yutz from Nebraska.
129
00:07:02,237 --> 00:07:05,541
Hello? Julie? Hello?
130
00:07:05,921 --> 00:07:09,607
Aw, Mr. Kotter,
I feel real bad for you.
131
00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:13,131
But always remember,
a woman...
132
00:07:13,215 --> 00:07:15,790
...is a sometime thing.
133
00:07:15,873 --> 00:07:19,921
She'll take your heart
and give it a fling.
134
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:23,605
But, when true love
runs off its course...
135
00:07:23,688 --> 00:07:26,510
Then she'll sue for divorce.
136
00:07:27,050 --> 00:07:31,695
- And yet a--
- Get outta here!
137
00:07:31,778 --> 00:07:34,324
Let's go.
Give me your juice.
138
00:07:36,771 --> 00:07:38,153
Those punks finally leave?
139
00:07:38,236 --> 00:07:39,415
- You!
- What?
140
00:07:39,498 --> 00:07:41,117
Go to school and if
you're not gonna go to school
141
00:07:41,200 --> 00:07:43,336
go get yourself a job.
142
00:07:43,420 --> 00:07:48,628
[scoffs] Boy, you sound just like
my dad did when kicked me out.
143
00:07:48,711 --> 00:07:51,191
I bet you don't think
I could get a job, do you?
144
00:07:51,194 --> 00:07:52,974
Well, I'll tell you this.
145
00:07:53,057 --> 00:07:55,712
You don't need brains
to get a job.
146
00:07:55,740 --> 00:07:58,202
And I'm gonna prove it.
147
00:08:03,809 --> 00:08:06,127
Yeah, Julie Hanson's room,
please.
148
00:08:06,210 --> 00:08:09,309
I'll show her who's boss.
Gotta be firm with women.
149
00:08:09,393 --> 00:08:11,762
That's the only thing
they understand, firmness.
150
00:08:13,217 --> 00:08:15,879
Julie honey, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean...
151
00:08:16,578 --> 00:08:19,261
Look, hey... hey, if you think
we should separate
152
00:08:19,344 --> 00:08:21,483
if that's the best thing, let's
just get together
153
00:08:21,566 --> 00:08:23,969
and talk about it.
What do we need lawyers for?
154
00:08:23,989 --> 00:08:26,646
Okay, why don't you
come over here, baby?
155
00:08:26,729 --> 00:08:27,770
Right after school, okay?
156
00:08:27,853 --> 00:08:31,921
3:30? Okay, Julie.
I'll see you then.
157
00:08:39,487 --> 00:08:42,407
[school bell ringing]
158
00:08:42,490 --> 00:08:44,844
[whistling]
159
00:08:44,927 --> 00:08:46,856
Alright, step louder.
Come on, come on, let's go.
160
00:08:46,856 --> 00:08:49,254
Move it, move it, move it.
161
00:08:49,337 --> 00:08:52,649
Let's go, let's go, let's go,
keep it moving, that's right.
162
00:08:52,732 --> 00:08:55,016
Hold it, hold it!
163
00:08:56,910 --> 00:08:58,370
Alright, seats.
164
00:08:59,646 --> 00:09:02,887
All present
and accounted for, sir.
165
00:09:03,226 --> 00:09:06,929
Except for Epstein
and Horshack. They AWOL.
166
00:09:07,012 --> 00:09:08,752
What'd you do
when school's over, Washington?
167
00:09:08,835 --> 00:09:11,056
Attack Staten Island?
168
00:09:14,030 --> 00:09:16,130
Ah! I didn't do it!
169
00:09:20,425 --> 00:09:21,827
Alright, it's a false alarm.
170
00:09:21,910 --> 00:09:24,230
That was just your
fearless leader.
171
00:09:24,313 --> 00:09:26,381
Sit down, general.
172
00:09:29,693 --> 00:09:32,135
You! Straighten up.
173
00:09:32,218 --> 00:09:35,722
Hey, Rick.
Ricky. Sit down.
174
00:09:37,567 --> 00:09:39,936
I want your hair cut by morning.
175
00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:47,271
- Hey, what's with you, Freddie?
- I'm being leader.
176
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:51,640
Yeah? Well, you just led me into
wishing I never voted for you.
177
00:09:51,708 --> 00:09:55,929
Yeah, Vinnie didn't
always act like the leader.
178
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:58,493
Sometimes he acted
like a real person.
179
00:09:58,574 --> 00:10:00,707
- Yeah.
- Yeah. How about it, huh?
180
00:10:00,756 --> 00:10:02,950
Alright, come on. Let's get
right to work, alright?
181
00:10:03,033 --> 00:10:04,097
[whistling]
182
00:10:04,179 --> 00:10:06,060
Aw, come on.
183
00:10:06,143 --> 00:10:08,514
One more thing, Mr. Kotter.
184
00:10:10,006 --> 00:10:12,830
We need a recreation period.
185
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:15,309
[whispering] Washington, come here.
186
00:10:15,392 --> 00:10:16,852
Come here.
187
00:10:26,594 --> 00:10:28,136
Recreation period.
188
00:10:28,717 --> 00:10:32,160
Class didn't even start yet!
189
00:10:32,243 --> 00:10:35,252
So let's start with a break
before we get all tired.
190
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:38,796
[laughs]
191
00:10:38,911 --> 00:10:41,034
[whistles] Three minute break!
192
00:10:41,117 --> 00:10:45,582
Alright, I decided that
we should little bit of music...
193
00:10:45,665 --> 00:10:47,528
...and some square dancing.
194
00:10:47,611 --> 00:10:49,071
Square dancing?
195
00:10:49,663 --> 00:10:51,124
[whispering] Square dancing?
196
00:10:51,207 --> 00:10:52,667
♪♪
197
00:10:53,838 --> 00:10:55,298
Yee-haw!
198
00:10:57,437 --> 00:10:59,021
♪ Grab your partner
Allemande left ♪
199
00:10:59,021 --> 00:11:01,613
♪ Skip to my Lou my darling ♪
200
00:11:01,613 --> 00:11:06,661
I'm taking this record
and mailing it back to Hee Haw.
201
00:11:07,826 --> 00:11:09,926
Sit down, general.
202
00:11:10,626 --> 00:11:13,025
Now, you might be the leader
of the Sweathog.
203
00:11:13,107 --> 00:11:15,330
But, I am
the commander-in-chief.
204
00:11:15,330 --> 00:11:18,090
What I say goes. And I'd like to
say a few things.
205
00:11:18,173 --> 00:11:20,294
My name is Mr. Kotter.
I am your teacher.
206
00:11:20,294 --> 00:11:22,862
From 9:00 to 3:00.
At no other time.
207
00:11:22,917 --> 00:11:25,636
Which means coming to my house
is a definite no-no.
208
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,160
You people here have caused
friction between me and my wife.
209
00:11:28,201 --> 00:11:30,340
And I will not let that
happen anymore.
210
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,524
From now on
there'll be no jokes
211
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,646
and no impressions
in this classroom.
212
00:11:33,666 --> 00:11:35,554
Now, turn your books
to chapter 47.
213
00:11:35,636 --> 00:11:38,727
I want a full outline
by tomorrow morning.
214
00:11:38,809 --> 00:11:41,414
From now on I will teach,
you will learn.
215
00:11:41,414 --> 00:11:42,914
Simple.
216
00:11:44,297 --> 00:11:45,798
Mr. Kotter?
217
00:11:47,621 --> 00:11:52,083
I see no reason for you
to take it out on us.
218
00:11:54,208 --> 00:11:57,016
We are impressionable children.
219
00:11:58,695 --> 00:12:04,120
Just because your personal life
is crumbling around your ears...
220
00:12:05,153 --> 00:12:08,526
[theme music]
221
00:12:24,022 --> 00:12:26,219
[knocking on door]
222
00:12:34,402 --> 00:12:38,967
Julie, hi. What a pleasant
surprise, you're a little early.
223
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:41,355
- Hello, Gabe.
- Take this from you.
224
00:12:41,377 --> 00:12:42,837
Okay.
225
00:12:46,662 --> 00:12:50,383
Well. Let's talk about
whatever you wanna talk about.
226
00:12:51,450 --> 00:12:54,072
Alright, I, uh, I wanna talk--
227
00:12:54,155 --> 00:12:55,717
First, before you say anything
228
00:12:55,717 --> 00:12:57,559
there's a question
I've to ask you.
229
00:12:57,580 --> 00:13:01,424
I mean, I'm just curious,
doesn't really matter anymore.
230
00:13:01,634 --> 00:13:03,875
Is there another man?
231
00:13:04,715 --> 00:13:07,725
No. There are four.
232
00:13:09,785 --> 00:13:13,007
Four. Well, now I know
how you spend your afternoons.
233
00:13:13,090 --> 00:13:16,615
Four boys.
You're with them all day.
234
00:13:16,617 --> 00:13:18,397
And then when you come home
at night, you're sitting
235
00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,523
and thinking of new ways
to entertain them.
236
00:13:20,523 --> 00:13:23,067
Julie, you know what's wrong
with you? You're jealous.
237
00:13:23,087 --> 00:13:25,410
You're so busy
envying me, my life
238
00:13:25,410 --> 00:13:28,734
you haven't found time to go out
and find a life of your own.
239
00:13:28,817 --> 00:13:34,191
Gabe, I can't do anything.
I'm an anthropology major.
240
00:13:34,927 --> 00:13:37,350
Well, dig up the living room.
241
00:13:39,407 --> 00:13:42,210
Julie, I don't know what to do.
I mean, I'm so frustrated.
242
00:13:42,293 --> 00:13:44,535
If you don't stop
feeling sorry for yourself
243
00:13:44,554 --> 00:13:46,798
I'm gonna put my fist
through this table.
244
00:13:46,818 --> 00:13:48,898
You will not.
245
00:13:52,023 --> 00:13:53,483
Excuse me.
246
00:13:57,761 --> 00:13:59,221
Aah!
247
00:14:03,635 --> 00:14:05,594
[knocking on door]
248
00:14:05,677 --> 00:14:07,657
I'll get it.
249
00:14:14,040 --> 00:14:15,500
Hi.
250
00:14:16,434 --> 00:14:19,719
I'm Vinnie Barbarino,
your Tidy-Didy man.
251
00:14:20,534 --> 00:14:22,057
Vinnie, what's this all about?
252
00:14:22,140 --> 00:14:24,938
You told me to get a job.
253
00:14:25,021 --> 00:14:27,205
Oh, I see the woman
of the house is home.
254
00:14:27,288 --> 00:14:29,747
Very good, very good.
255
00:14:31,616 --> 00:14:34,879
Now, I am here
to show you and you
256
00:14:34,879 --> 00:14:38,339
how Tidy-Didy cleaner
can change your life.
257
00:14:38,422 --> 00:14:40,485
I do not believe this.
258
00:14:40,568 --> 00:14:44,491
Will you please go and tidy
your didy somewhere else?
259
00:14:45,602 --> 00:14:48,785
Wherever dirt congregates,
Tidy-Didy acts like
260
00:14:48,785 --> 00:14:52,463
thousands of teeny-weeny...
dirt suckers.
261
00:14:56,591 --> 00:14:57,691
This is where I came in--
262
00:14:57,774 --> 00:15:01,654
Julie, Julie, you can't
leave again. Now sit down.
263
00:15:01,737 --> 00:15:04,106
Both of you, come on, sit down!
264
00:15:05,190 --> 00:15:06,650
Let's go.
265
00:15:08,681 --> 00:15:10,523
Okay Julie,
you said I'd changed.
266
00:15:10,606 --> 00:15:12,782
I'm not Gabe anymore,
I'm Mr. Kotter.
267
00:15:12,865 --> 00:15:15,247
Well, you're right,
I'm a teacher.
268
00:15:15,330 --> 00:15:19,454
And I'm a good teacher.
Right now, I am gonna teach.
269
00:15:19,515 --> 00:15:21,458
Now you... is this
what you're gonna do
270
00:15:21,458 --> 00:15:24,499
with the rest of your life?
Tidy-Didies?
271
00:15:25,584 --> 00:15:27,162
Vinnie, you were
voted out as leader.
272
00:15:27,245 --> 00:15:29,225
You weren't voted out of school.
273
00:15:29,308 --> 00:15:31,848
My advice to you is simple,
and if you're smart
274
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,250
you'll take it.
275
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,470
Go back to school.
276
00:15:35,553 --> 00:15:38,938
And you, nobody voted you
out of this house.
277
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,401
Okay, we have problems,
but the only way to solve 'em
278
00:15:41,484 --> 00:15:43,855
is to solve 'em together.
279
00:15:43,938 --> 00:15:47,162
Julie, I know, y-you're living
my life and you have to have
280
00:15:47,162 --> 00:15:50,422
your own life, but I can't
make that happen for you.
281
00:15:50,505 --> 00:15:52,963
You have to do that yourself.
282
00:15:56,472 --> 00:15:58,548
Hey, you can't both leave.
283
00:15:58,631 --> 00:16:00,734
Mr. Kotter, I'll think about it.
284
00:16:00,817 --> 00:16:04,788
But in the meantime, I got
a lot of doors to knock on.
285
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,175
[sighs]
286
00:16:07,844 --> 00:16:10,265
I'll think about it too, Gabe.
287
00:16:17,122 --> 00:16:19,304
I thought that was
a really great speech.
288
00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:28,172
[whistling] Mr. Woodman, wait.
289
00:16:30,704 --> 00:16:32,247
Look, if school starts
after lunch
290
00:16:32,247 --> 00:16:34,488
it'll make the day shorter.
291
00:16:36,172 --> 00:16:37,372
Call off your Sweathog,
will you, Kotter?
292
00:16:37,455 --> 00:16:39,555
Call him off, please.
293
00:16:39,779 --> 00:16:43,683
Washington, take your
whistle and blow.
294
00:16:46,916 --> 00:16:49,572
[whistling]
295
00:16:49,655 --> 00:16:51,559
[Washington] Eh, clean that mess up.
296
00:16:51,602 --> 00:16:55,127
Kotter, never repeat
what I'm about to say to you.
297
00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:58,205
I miss Barbarino!
298
00:16:58,288 --> 00:17:00,943
[bell ringing]
299
00:17:01,026 --> 00:17:02,869
Okay, come on, let's get in.
The bell rang. Let's go.
300
00:17:02,942 --> 00:17:05,246
Come in. Come on, let's go.
301
00:17:05,708 --> 00:17:08,609
Alright, today we're gonna
get right to work.
302
00:17:09,210 --> 00:17:12,379
I wanna talk about
the two party system.
303
00:17:12,463 --> 00:17:14,569
Now, Epstein,
what're the advantages
304
00:17:14,569 --> 00:17:15,813
of the two-party system?
305
00:17:15,813 --> 00:17:17,214
Oh, that's an easy one.
306
00:17:17,297 --> 00:17:19,160
In a two-party system,
you get to go
307
00:17:19,243 --> 00:17:22,223
to two kinds of parties.
308
00:17:22,306 --> 00:17:24,548
Two kinds of dancin',
two kinds of chip-dip
309
00:17:24,548 --> 00:17:27,502
and two kinds of hopin'
you'll, uh, make out.
310
00:17:27,502 --> 00:17:28,869
[all exclaiming]
311
00:17:28,952 --> 00:17:31,492
No, Mr. Kotter, see,
in a two-party system
312
00:17:31,575 --> 00:17:34,338
you always got somebody
looking over your shoulder.
313
00:17:34,338 --> 00:17:36,519
- Helps keep you honest.
- Ah-ha!
314
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,318
Now, what would happen
without that competition?
315
00:17:39,319 --> 00:17:42,104
You get a dictator,
like Freddie.
316
00:17:42,165 --> 00:17:44,445
Yes sir, no sir!
317
00:17:44,528 --> 00:17:48,709
Anywhere with
a can of beer, sir.
318
00:17:49,385 --> 00:17:51,495
[whistle blowing]
319
00:18:13,051 --> 00:18:15,945
[all cheering]
320
00:18:24,324 --> 00:18:25,677
[whistle blowing]
321
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:27,745
You know, Freddie, I feel
322
00:18:27,829 --> 00:18:30,375
you're becoming
a real schmendrick.
323
00:18:31,494 --> 00:18:34,997
Yeah, a pain in my posterior.
324
00:18:37,584 --> 00:18:38,924
You know, I'm gettin'
the feeling that none of y'all
325
00:18:39,007 --> 00:18:41,148
don't like me no more.
326
00:18:41,808 --> 00:18:44,893
I just wanted to do
a good job, that's all.
327
00:18:44,976 --> 00:18:47,921
Look, it ain't so much
that I wanted to be leader.
328
00:18:47,941 --> 00:18:49,821
It's just that...
329
00:18:51,026 --> 00:18:54,463
Hey, I never was and I never
will be no follower.
330
00:18:55,321 --> 00:18:57,463
Vinnie would understand that.
331
00:18:57,546 --> 00:19:00,178
Somebody mention my name?
332
00:19:02,138 --> 00:19:05,053
Here, Mr. Kotter, I'm back.
Vinnie's back in town.
333
00:19:05,137 --> 00:19:07,793
- Hey, it's official!
- Hey, Vinnie.
334
00:19:07,876 --> 00:19:09,574
[all applauding]
335
00:19:09,657 --> 00:19:12,842
I was thinking about
what you said, Mr. Kotter and...
336
00:19:12,849 --> 00:19:17,393
...I dunno I couldn't sell
that Tidy-Didy crud, I mean...
337
00:19:18,177 --> 00:19:19,519
Couldn't even sell it to you.
338
00:19:19,519 --> 00:19:22,178
And you're the softest
touch in town.
339
00:19:22,178 --> 00:19:25,320
Well, you've made the right
move, Vinnie. I'm proud of you.
340
00:19:25,403 --> 00:19:28,035
You're looking
very well, Vinnie.
341
00:19:29,186 --> 00:19:32,011
Hey, welcome back, Vinnie.
342
00:19:32,094 --> 00:19:34,194
- Hey, Vinnie.
- What?
343
00:19:36,782 --> 00:19:40,365
- I'm glad you're back, man.
- Freddie, goombah.
344
00:19:42,811 --> 00:19:44,910
Not that glad.
345
00:19:45,790 --> 00:19:48,271
[coughing]
346
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:52,173
Mr. Kotter, I come up
with my own idea.
347
00:19:52,256 --> 00:19:53,898
Why do we need a leader at all?
348
00:19:53,982 --> 00:19:56,846
I mean, why can't everybody
just take care of themselves?
349
00:19:56,886 --> 00:20:00,289
- How's that?
- Can we do that?
350
00:20:01,573 --> 00:20:05,294
Hey, that's a great idea.
I cast my vote for no leader.
351
00:20:05,436 --> 00:20:06,236
- Alright.
- I second.
352
00:20:06,320 --> 00:20:08,521
- Good.
- I third!
353
00:20:08,604 --> 00:20:10,064
[all] Yeah.
354
00:20:10,346 --> 00:20:14,129
Alright, it's unanimous.
Horshack, get me my book.
355
00:20:15,092 --> 00:20:16,773
Okay, Vinnie.
356
00:20:17,826 --> 00:20:19,286
So, here.
357
00:20:22,051 --> 00:20:23,705
Alright, I hope
you guys don't mind
358
00:20:23,713 --> 00:20:26,214
if we sneak a little school
in here today, okay?
359
00:20:26,297 --> 00:20:28,436
Mr. Kotter, I got one question.
360
00:20:28,519 --> 00:20:31,083
Now that you and your wife
are separated, right
361
00:20:31,083 --> 00:20:35,054
I hope you don't mind that
I asked her out on a date.
362
00:20:39,689 --> 00:20:41,792
You asked my wife out?
363
00:20:41,876 --> 00:20:44,036
Yeah, just a couple of minutes
ago in the hall.
364
00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,142
Well, she said
she had to think about it.
365
00:20:50,612 --> 00:20:52,072
- Hi.
- Hi.
366
00:20:54,561 --> 00:20:56,661
[both] Honey, I wanna--
367
00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:59,705
- You go first.
- No, you first.
368
00:21:02,390 --> 00:21:05,429
Gabe, I'm so confused.
369
00:21:05,513 --> 00:21:08,035
I know we have problems, but...
370
00:21:08,096 --> 00:21:11,159
...I really wanna work 'em out.
371
00:21:11,159 --> 00:21:14,619
I was so incredibly
lonely without you.
372
00:21:14,702 --> 00:21:17,102
I know what you mean,
I mean, I kept turning
373
00:21:17,185 --> 00:21:19,753
to look for you
and you aren't there.
374
00:21:19,807 --> 00:21:22,977
Last night, I told
the pizza man I loved him.
375
00:21:27,362 --> 00:21:29,886
I guess, we both
have to change, huh?
376
00:21:29,969 --> 00:21:31,906
Sure, change is good.
377
00:21:31,989 --> 00:21:35,492
I mean without change,
there'd be a lot of wet babies.
378
00:21:38,907 --> 00:21:40,779
Alright, no more jokes.
379
00:21:40,862 --> 00:21:43,430
No more jokes with you and no
more jokes in the classroom.
380
00:21:43,486 --> 00:21:45,566
From now on,
I am through with jokes.
381
00:21:45,648 --> 00:21:48,433
No, your students
love your jokes.
382
00:21:48,453 --> 00:21:51,754
It's the way you
communicate with them.
383
00:21:51,838 --> 00:21:54,210
I love your jokes, too.
384
00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,062
Except there's one thing.
385
00:21:58,146 --> 00:22:01,067
Why can't I tell a joke
once in a while?
386
00:22:01,150 --> 00:22:03,791
I can be very funny, you know.
387
00:22:04,710 --> 00:22:06,091
- You can. Yeah, I know.
- Uh-huh.
388
00:22:06,175 --> 00:22:07,694
- Right.
- I can.
389
00:22:07,777 --> 00:22:10,799
Okay, honey.
Why don't you tell a joke?
390
00:22:12,363 --> 00:22:13,823
Oh...
391
00:22:14,365 --> 00:22:18,249
Well, I hadn't really
prepared anything.
392
00:22:20,512 --> 00:22:21,972
I know.
393
00:22:22,575 --> 00:22:25,958
Why does the chicken
cross the road?
394
00:22:30,066 --> 00:22:33,526
I don't know Gracie, why does
the chicken cross the road?
395
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:37,617
To keep his pants up.
396
00:22:42,227 --> 00:22:45,143
Chicken crosses the road...
397
00:22:45,226 --> 00:22:47,401
...to keep his pants up.
398
00:22:47,455 --> 00:22:50,134
Right, don't you get it? Wait.
399
00:22:50,217 --> 00:22:53,483
Why does a fireman
wear red suspenders?
400
00:22:53,566 --> 00:22:56,028
[both] To get to the other side.
401
00:22:58,927 --> 00:23:01,612
[both] Chicken crosses the road
to keep his pants up.
402
00:23:01,696 --> 00:23:02,537
Of course.
403
00:23:02,578 --> 00:23:05,372
I think it's time
for my number.
404
00:23:05,455 --> 00:23:07,921
♪ Down near the river
where the red roses grow ♪
405
00:23:07,921 --> 00:23:09,971
♪ Oh my don't you know ♪
406
00:23:10,054 --> 00:23:12,095
♪ Honey let me do that
red rose rap ♪
407
00:23:12,178 --> 00:23:15,301
- Say goodnight, Gracie.
- Goodnight, Gracie.
408
00:23:16,108 --> 00:23:18,436
[applauding]
409
00:23:24,321 --> 00:23:26,482
Julie, listen. Ever tell you
about my Aunt Bertha?
410
00:23:26,565 --> 00:23:28,132
No, no, wait, wait. Wait.
411
00:23:28,215 --> 00:23:30,458
Let me tell you
about Aunt Bertha.
412
00:23:30,509 --> 00:23:32,792
No, no, no.
My Aunt Bertha is funnier.
413
00:23:32,852 --> 00:23:34,976
- Just one more. No, no--
- You've been telling jokes--
414
00:23:34,976 --> 00:23:37,892
It's hysterical. It's...
Wait, you're gonna laugh.
415
00:23:37,897 --> 00:23:40,137
You'll see yourself laughing.
416
00:23:40,220 --> 00:23:41,680
- Okay?
- Yes.
417
00:23:42,263 --> 00:23:45,386
Gabe? Did I ever tell you
about Aunt Bertha?
418
00:23:45,469 --> 00:23:47,251
- No. What about her?
- No?
419
00:23:47,268 --> 00:23:52,578
Aunt Bertha was so fat, that
when she sat around the house
420
00:23:52,609 --> 00:23:56,633
she sat... around... the house.
421
00:23:58,670 --> 00:24:01,346
[indistinct]
422
00:24:05,742 --> 00:24:08,091
[theme music]
423
00:24:08,175 --> 00:24:09,895
[male narrator] "Welcome Back, Kotter"
is recorded live
424
00:24:09,978 --> 00:24:11,451
before a studio audience.
425
00:24:11,534 --> 00:24:12,886
[theme song]
426
00:24:12,969 --> 00:24:15,803
♪ Welcome back ♪
427
00:24:15,886 --> 00:24:19,588
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
428
00:24:19,671 --> 00:24:21,679
♪ Welcome back ♪
429
00:24:21,762 --> 00:24:26,466
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
430
00:24:26,549 --> 00:24:30,731
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
431
00:24:30,814 --> 00:24:32,994
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
432
00:24:33,077 --> 00:24:35,301
♪ And they're turned around ♪
433
00:24:35,384 --> 00:24:37,433
♪ Who'd have thought they'd lead
ya ♪
434
00:24:37,516 --> 00:24:39,392
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ♪
435
00:24:39,475 --> 00:24:41,655
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
436
00:24:41,738 --> 00:24:43,701
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
437
00:24:43,784 --> 00:24:45,615
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
438
00:24:45,698 --> 00:24:47,835
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
439
00:24:47,918 --> 00:24:50,142
♪ Welcome back ♪
440
00:24:50,225 --> 00:24:52,187
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
441
00:24:52,270 --> 00:24:54,320
♪ Welcome back ♪
442
00:24:54,403 --> 00:24:56,583
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
443
00:24:56,666 --> 00:24:58,759
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
444
00:24:58,842 --> 00:25:00,848
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
445
00:25:00,931 --> 00:25:02,981
♪ 'Cause we got him
on the spot ♪
446
00:25:03,064 --> 00:25:05,113
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
447
00:25:05,196 --> 00:25:06,371
♪ Yeah we tease him... ♪♪
33025
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