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Julie, did I ever tell
you about my Uncle Malcolm
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00:00:03,488 --> 00:00:05,145
the traveling salesman?
3
00:00:05,228 --> 00:00:06,370
No, why don't you?
4
00:00:06,453 --> 00:00:08,276
One time Uncle Malcolm
is in Duluth
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00:00:08,276 --> 00:00:10,015
checks out of his hotel
goes to the train
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00:00:10,098 --> 00:00:13,019
and he noticed he left
his umbrella in the hotel room.
7
00:00:13,102 --> 00:00:14,264
Well, what did he do?
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00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:16,725
Well, he went back to the hotel,
went up to the clerk, and said
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[imitating Malcolm] "I'm Malcolm Kotter,
the traveling salesman
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00:00:19,131 --> 00:00:22,342
and I have left
my umbrella in room 923."
11
00:00:22,425 --> 00:00:24,796
Okay, what did the clerk say?
12
00:00:24,879 --> 00:00:26,501
Clerk said, "Mr. Kotter,
we just rented that room
13
00:00:26,501 --> 00:00:28,286
"to a honeymoon couple.
Now, if you wanna go up there
14
00:00:28,344 --> 00:00:29,903
and knock on the door,
that's up to you."
15
00:00:29,986 --> 00:00:31,422
Well, what did Uncle Malcolm do?
16
00:00:31,469 --> 00:00:33,409
Uncle Malcolm goes up
to the hotel room
17
00:00:33,492 --> 00:00:35,059
and he's about to knock
on the door when he hears
18
00:00:35,095 --> 00:00:38,919
from inside the room,
"Whose little eyes are these?"
19
00:00:39,002 --> 00:00:41,561
[imitating wife] "Why, they are yours."
20
00:00:41,644 --> 00:00:43,327
[imitating husband] "Whose little nose is this?"
21
00:00:43,409 --> 00:00:45,711
[imitating wife] "Why, it's yours."
22
00:00:45,794 --> 00:00:47,715
[imitating husband] "Well, whose little
neck is this?"
23
00:00:47,798 --> 00:00:49,421
[imitating wife] "Why, it's yours."
24
00:00:49,421 --> 00:00:51,248
Uncle Malcolm knocks
on the door and he says
25
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:54,668
"Listen, when you get to the
little umbrella, it's mine!"
26
00:00:58,858 --> 00:01:00,821
[male announcer] "Welcome back, Kotter"
is recorded live
27
00:01:00,904 --> 00:01:03,058
before a studio audience.
28
00:01:06,953 --> 00:01:09,499
[theme song]
29
00:01:10,043 --> 00:01:13,007
♪ Welcome back ♪
30
00:01:13,090 --> 00:01:16,793
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
31
00:01:16,876 --> 00:01:19,056
♪ Welcome back ♪
32
00:01:19,139 --> 00:01:23,974
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
33
00:01:24,057 --> 00:01:28,412
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
34
00:01:28,495 --> 00:01:32,808
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
35
00:01:32,891 --> 00:01:35,375
♪ Who'd have
thought they'd lead ya ♪
36
00:01:35,458 --> 00:01:37,116
♪ Who'd have
thought they'd lead ya ♪
37
00:01:37,199 --> 00:01:39,292
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
38
00:01:39,375 --> 00:01:41,425
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
39
00:01:41,508 --> 00:01:45,429
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
40
00:01:45,512 --> 00:01:47,605
♪ Welcome back ♪
41
00:01:47,688 --> 00:01:49,999
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
42
00:01:50,082 --> 00:01:52,132
♪ Welcome back ♪
43
00:01:52,215 --> 00:01:54,307
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
44
00:01:54,390 --> 00:01:57,938
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
45
00:02:07,002 --> 00:02:09,887
Okay, in our continuing
unit on the great inventors
46
00:02:09,887 --> 00:02:13,071
today's saga, the story
of Thomas Alva Edison
47
00:02:13,071 --> 00:02:16,727
the Kotter repertory theatre
presents a dramatization.
48
00:02:16,810 --> 00:02:18,871
[all clapping]
49
00:02:18,954 --> 00:02:21,702
[knocking]
50
00:02:21,785 --> 00:02:25,244
Is Thomas Alva Edison at home?
51
00:02:26,393 --> 00:02:28,754
[imitating Mrs. Edison]
This is Mrs. Edison.
52
00:02:28,837 --> 00:02:32,339
Who shall I say is calling?
53
00:02:32,422 --> 00:02:34,522
It's the devil.
54
00:02:36,495 --> 00:02:39,278
[imitating Mrs. Edison]
The devil? D-did you
say the devil?
55
00:02:39,361 --> 00:02:42,907
Tom, Tom, it's the devil!
56
00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:47,828
[imitating Edison] Oh, boy, he's here again, huh?
57
00:02:47,911 --> 00:02:52,276
First he comes in 1875,
1876, he shows up.
58
00:02:52,277 --> 00:02:55,615
And now it's 1877,
he shows up again.
59
00:02:55,698 --> 00:02:58,281
Listen, get lost.
I'm inventing the phonograph.
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00:02:58,364 --> 00:03:00,541
I don't need you around here.
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00:03:00,624 --> 00:03:02,887
[imitating devil] I don't care
about the phonograph.
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00:03:02,937 --> 00:03:05,019
I don't care about inventing.
63
00:03:05,075 --> 00:03:07,430
♪ I don't care I don't care ♪
64
00:03:07,513 --> 00:03:10,384
♪ What people think of me ♪
65
00:03:10,427 --> 00:03:14,146
♪ I'm happy-go-lucky
while some say I'm plucky ♪♪
66
00:03:14,229 --> 00:03:16,052
Come on, Tom,
forget about inventing.
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00:03:16,135 --> 00:03:18,115
Come out with me tonight. We'll
go to a discotheque
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00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:21,616
see some go-go girls.
What do you say?
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00:03:21,699 --> 00:03:23,661
[imitating Edison] Get killed
with your go-go girls.
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00:03:23,744 --> 00:03:25,263
I'm inventing a phonograph.
71
00:03:25,346 --> 00:03:27,249
I don't care
because if I don't invent it
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00:03:27,249 --> 00:03:29,796
my Stevie Wonder albums
won't be a worth a nickel.
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00:03:29,879 --> 00:03:31,015
[scatting]
74
00:03:31,098 --> 00:03:33,774
[cheering and applause]
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00:03:35,007 --> 00:03:38,815
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh...
76
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:40,081
[Kotter] Arnold, Arnold.
77
00:03:40,164 --> 00:03:44,267
That was very impressive,
Mr. Kotter.
78
00:03:46,402 --> 00:03:49,142
Yes, yes, never in this
reviewer's memory has he seen
79
00:03:49,225 --> 00:03:50,944
a better classroom
dramatization.
80
00:03:51,027 --> 00:03:53,616
Uh, I-I give you four stars.
81
00:03:55,158 --> 00:03:57,431
Alright, well, we'll see
how many stars I give it.
82
00:03:57,514 --> 00:04:00,288
Epstein, who invented
the phonograph?
83
00:04:00,371 --> 00:04:04,158
I see, uh, Thomas Alva Edison
invented the phonograph, right?
84
00:04:04,241 --> 00:04:05,701
In, uh,1877...
85
00:04:07,163 --> 00:04:09,078
...right after he wouldn't
go boogieingwith devil.
86
00:04:09,161 --> 00:04:12,544
Say, hallelujah. Hell, yeah!
87
00:04:12,627 --> 00:04:13,949
Okay, now forget
about the devil.
88
00:04:14,032 --> 00:04:16,390
- Ah, Kotter.
- Thomas Alva--
89
00:04:16,474 --> 00:04:19,335
Kotter, the board has advised
me they'd be happy to see
90
00:04:19,418 --> 00:04:22,719
some of your Sweathogs
promoted to regular classes.
91
00:04:22,802 --> 00:04:25,165
I, uh, checked the records
and I was astonished to see
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00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:28,968
that, uh, one of your menagerie
has made considerable progress
93
00:04:29,051 --> 00:04:31,332
and is now deemed promotable.
94
00:04:31,854 --> 00:04:33,965
Welcome to the real world...
95
00:04:37,522 --> 00:04:39,063
...Arnold Horshack.
96
00:04:43,549 --> 00:04:44,549
[Kotter] Horshack.
97
00:04:44,632 --> 00:04:47,014
[Epstein] Hey, did you hear that,
Arnold?
98
00:04:47,818 --> 00:04:50,030
Arnold, wake up!
99
00:04:50,113 --> 00:04:52,179
- He heard.
- You killed him.
100
00:04:53,997 --> 00:04:55,158
Arnold, come on, wake up,
Arnold.
101
00:04:55,241 --> 00:04:56,541
This is the biggest
moment of your life.
102
00:04:56,541 --> 00:04:58,644
Don't sleep through it.
103
00:04:58,762 --> 00:05:02,465
Arnold, quick,
give me a "Oh, oh, oh."
104
00:05:02,549 --> 00:05:05,072
- He's coming to.
- What was that name again?
105
00:05:05,092 --> 00:05:06,649
[Woodman] Horshack, Arnold Horshack.
106
00:05:06,732 --> 00:05:09,103
[wheezy laughter]
107
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,101
Goodbye, gang.
108
00:05:14,043 --> 00:05:16,444
Goodbye, Mr. Kotter.
109
00:05:16,738 --> 00:05:21,720
It was great fun, but it was
just one of those things.
110
00:05:22,584 --> 00:05:24,383
Good luck, Arnold, good luck.
111
00:05:24,466 --> 00:05:27,186
Oh, please, Mr. Kotter!
112
00:05:28,226 --> 00:05:30,688
Tell Mr. Woodman it's a mistake.
113
00:05:30,772 --> 00:05:33,173
Kotter, let that boy go.
114
00:05:35,212 --> 00:05:36,815
Arnold, let go. Arnold.
115
00:05:36,898 --> 00:05:40,474
Arnold, I cannot go through life
with you attached to my leg.
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00:05:40,558 --> 00:05:42,741
This is not a mistake.
It's not a mistake.
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00:05:42,824 --> 00:05:45,474
One of my Sweathogs
is moving up in the world.
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00:05:45,474 --> 00:05:48,333
This boy down there
is a symbol that Gabe Kotter...
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00:05:48,416 --> 00:05:50,577
...is succeeding as a teacher.
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00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:54,272
Arnold, I give you
the farewell Sweathog salute.
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00:05:54,355 --> 00:05:57,398
Up your nose with a rubber hose!
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00:05:57,447 --> 00:06:00,341
Good luck
in the real world, Arnold.
123
00:06:00,831 --> 00:06:03,941
Oh, sometimes,
this job is a real drag.
124
00:06:05,607 --> 00:06:07,718
[bell ringing]
125
00:06:10,416 --> 00:06:12,681
[Kotter] Hey, come on,
isn't that terrific?
126
00:06:12,764 --> 00:06:14,585
Mr. Kotter...
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00:06:15,010 --> 00:06:17,591
...Horshack won't be able
to survive in the real world.
128
00:06:17,674 --> 00:06:21,938
I mean, he's special. You can't
put him with real people.
129
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:30,331
Oh, boy, am I glad to see
you guys? Was I homesick?
130
00:06:31,232 --> 00:06:34,455
Homesick? You ain't even
been gone yet.
131
00:06:34,539 --> 00:06:38,462
Freddie, you don't know
what a regular class is like.
132
00:06:38,545 --> 00:06:43,420
No jokes, no costumes,
no impressions.
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00:06:43,473 --> 00:06:48,304
And-and when I do my laugh,
you know, hyuk hyuk hyuk...
134
00:06:48,387 --> 00:06:50,506
...kids won't laugh with me.
135
00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:52,782
They laugh at me.
136
00:06:53,685 --> 00:06:55,540
Hey, look, Horshack...
137
00:06:55,623 --> 00:06:57,306
...why don't you go talk
to Kotter about it, ya know?
138
00:06:57,389 --> 00:06:59,609
Like, he's pretty good
about this kinda thing.
139
00:06:59,692 --> 00:07:01,313
Epstein, you do not
seem to realize
140
00:07:01,313 --> 00:07:04,794
that I am Mr. Kotter's symbol
of being a good teacher.
141
00:07:04,878 --> 00:07:06,797
If I go to him,
he'll think he's a bad teacher.
142
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,315
How can he think
he's a bad teacher
143
00:07:08,342 --> 00:07:11,779
if I am a symbol of him
being a good teacher?
144
00:07:13,551 --> 00:07:15,618
[all] Yeah, yeah, yeah.
145
00:07:16,434 --> 00:07:18,536
Hey, Arnold, you know I...
146
00:07:18,536 --> 00:07:21,538
...I ain't never knew
you was, was smart.
147
00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,220
Hey, that's it!
Arnold, I got it.
148
00:07:25,303 --> 00:07:26,925
Look, all you gotta
do to get back
149
00:07:26,925 --> 00:07:29,506
in that classroom
is to act dumb.
150
00:07:29,589 --> 00:07:31,930
Quick thinking, Vinnie.
151
00:07:33,452 --> 00:07:35,672
But I rather not
have to act dumb.
152
00:07:35,755 --> 00:07:38,676
It's something that gotta
come natural, you know.
153
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:42,656
Arnold, oh, Arnold, look at me.
154
00:07:45,008 --> 00:07:49,597
It's easy actin' dumb.
I do it all the time.
155
00:07:50,444 --> 00:07:52,506
I know, Vinnie.
156
00:07:54,138 --> 00:07:56,510
And you're very good at it.
157
00:07:58,303 --> 00:07:59,763
What?
158
00:08:00,306 --> 00:08:03,275
[both laughing] Yea-a-ah.
159
00:08:03,358 --> 00:08:05,017
Horshack, if you ask me
there's only
160
00:08:05,099 --> 00:08:06,628
one way out of
this thing, right?
161
00:08:06,710 --> 00:08:08,146
You gotta get
yourself in trouble.
162
00:08:08,196 --> 00:08:10,065
Right. Now, dig...
163
00:08:10,148 --> 00:08:12,242
...speaking as an expert,
trouble is the way
164
00:08:12,324 --> 00:08:14,563
to go to getting
yourself noticed.
165
00:08:14,563 --> 00:08:16,047
And for gettin'
in trouble, you have come
166
00:08:16,130 --> 00:08:17,748
to the right man, my friend.
167
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,834
Now, I can get just you
in trouble or I can offer
168
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:23,054
the family plan and get
your whole family in trouble.
169
00:08:23,137 --> 00:08:25,508
[indistinct chatter]
170
00:08:27,006 --> 00:08:28,965
Alright, guys, I hate
to break up this reunion
171
00:08:29,049 --> 00:08:30,964
but I think Arnold's
gotta go and make new friends
172
00:08:30,991 --> 00:08:32,571
with his new classmates.
173
00:08:32,654 --> 00:08:34,114
How?
174
00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:37,418
Just walk up to them, you say,
"Hey, I'm Arnold Horshack.
175
00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:40,663
Why don't you come up
and see my lunch box?"
176
00:08:40,746 --> 00:08:42,827
Hey, don't worry
about nothin', you hear?
177
00:08:42,910 --> 00:08:45,010
- We got ya covered.
- Shalom, amigo.
178
00:08:45,333 --> 00:08:48,655
- Go get 'em.
- Take care.
179
00:08:48,738 --> 00:08:51,223
Has it occurred to any of you
that by trying to help
180
00:08:51,223 --> 00:08:53,024
Horshack you're hurting him?
181
00:08:53,107 --> 00:08:55,108
You're not giving
him a chance to prove himself
182
00:08:55,171 --> 00:08:56,731
outside the Sweathogs.
183
00:08:56,814 --> 00:08:59,627
You gotta let him try
and make new friends.
184
00:08:59,710 --> 00:09:01,581
Somethin' wrong
with his old friends?
185
00:09:01,664 --> 00:09:05,036
Yeah, you couldn't give
friends like us away.
186
00:09:08,217 --> 00:09:11,078
You got a point there, Epstein.
187
00:09:11,161 --> 00:09:13,886
Look, I mean,
if Benjamin Franklin's wife
188
00:09:13,886 --> 00:09:15,758
didn't tell him to go fly a kite
189
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,150
we'd all be
standing here in the dark.
190
00:09:18,232 --> 00:09:20,692
Napoleon would be
just another short person.
191
00:09:22,057 --> 00:09:23,319
Abe Lincoln wouldn't
have been president.
192
00:09:23,402 --> 00:09:26,305
There'd be some stranger
on a five dollar bill.
193
00:09:27,607 --> 00:09:30,333
If you really care
about Horshack...
194
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:33,770
...I mean really care about him,
you gotta let him go.
195
00:09:34,460 --> 00:09:36,302
Trust me.
196
00:09:37,634 --> 00:09:40,196
Hey, look, uh, I don't
wanna hurt Horshack, you know?
197
00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:42,754
Yeah, he's our friend.
198
00:09:42,764 --> 00:09:45,767
Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna be
the guy that stubs Horshack
199
00:09:45,849 --> 00:09:47,350
from being president.
200
00:09:47,433 --> 00:09:49,802
I mean, if the people want him.
201
00:09:50,619 --> 00:09:53,542
Hey, hey, I got all
the way to my new class
202
00:09:53,625 --> 00:09:56,528
when I realized I don't
wanna make new friends.
203
00:09:57,152 --> 00:09:59,414
So, I'm available.
204
00:10:01,676 --> 00:10:04,940
So what's everybody
planning on doing?
205
00:10:05,023 --> 00:10:06,634
Well, in a couple of minutes,
I gotta go over to
206
00:10:06,684 --> 00:10:08,928
Ben Franklin Hotel,
I'm gonna meet a friend of mine.
207
00:10:08,968 --> 00:10:12,672
near the Abe Lincoln room and
I think I'll have a Napoleon.
208
00:10:14,256 --> 00:10:15,713
Good.
209
00:10:18,542 --> 00:10:22,246
A-Arnold, Arnold,
oh, see, I'm...
210
00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:27,744
See, Arnold, like, um,
see, I-I-I got, I got, um...
211
00:10:27,827 --> 00:10:29,224
...I got basketball
practice, you see
212
00:10:29,224 --> 00:10:31,661
and like, uh,
like I'm gonna see you later.
213
00:10:31,744 --> 00:10:34,147
- Check y'all later.
- Bye-bye.
214
00:10:34,230 --> 00:10:37,210
Hey, Juan, you wanna
play a trick on me?
215
00:10:37,533 --> 00:10:39,381
I'm open to anything.
216
00:10:39,596 --> 00:10:41,755
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
217
00:10:41,838 --> 00:10:43,905
I'd love to, man.
218
00:10:46,664 --> 00:10:50,080
Uh, but I gotta go... study.
219
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:58,523
Well, I guess that leaves
you and me, huh, Vinnie?
220
00:10:58,606 --> 00:11:01,128
Yeah, that's right.
221
00:11:03,391 --> 00:11:05,833
Arnold, you wouldn't believe it.
222
00:11:05,916 --> 00:11:08,417
I get this phone call, right?
223
00:11:08,500 --> 00:11:10,101
Bonzo Moretti.
224
00:11:10,590 --> 00:11:12,462
I haven't seen him for years.
225
00:11:12,545 --> 00:11:14,590
He says to me, "Hey, Vinnie,
we got to get together
226
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:17,669
do some business."
I said, "Bonzo, now?"
227
00:11:17,752 --> 00:11:19,452
He says, "Yeah, now."
228
00:11:19,535 --> 00:11:21,535
Bing-a-bang-a-bomb.
229
00:11:21,618 --> 00:11:25,381
I'm stuck in a corner.
I gotta go, Arnold.
230
00:11:29,506 --> 00:11:30,966
I'm sorry.
231
00:11:34,291 --> 00:11:37,823
Well, Arnold, I'm really proud
of you, you know. We all are.
232
00:11:37,906 --> 00:11:39,733
You made it out
of the Sweathogs.
233
00:11:39,816 --> 00:11:42,561
I'm gonna see you
around, huh... symbol?
234
00:11:42,644 --> 00:11:45,347
♪ Welcome back ♪
235
00:11:45,430 --> 00:11:49,002
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
236
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:51,218
♪ Welcome back ♪
237
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,757
♪ To that same old place... ♪♪
238
00:11:54,260 --> 00:11:57,545
Heat, send up heat.
239
00:11:59,234 --> 00:12:01,235
Why are you talking
to that radiator?
240
00:12:01,318 --> 00:12:03,689
You know that
that radiator doesn't listen.
241
00:12:04,418 --> 00:12:06,507
Why don't you try
talking to the oven?
242
00:12:06,590 --> 00:12:10,012
Because the oven is food heat.
243
00:12:10,095 --> 00:12:13,823
The radiator is people heat.
244
00:12:13,905 --> 00:12:17,391
What about if we get together
and generate a little body heat?
245
00:12:17,413 --> 00:12:19,076
Oh, that's a terrific idea.
246
00:12:19,159 --> 00:12:24,801
But first, you stop pretending
that you're not cold
247
00:12:24,884 --> 00:12:27,495
and you go downstairs
and talk to the super.
248
00:12:27,578 --> 00:12:29,340
- I'm not cold.
- Ha ha ha.
249
00:12:29,341 --> 00:12:30,445
You're the one that's cold.
250
00:12:30,445 --> 00:12:33,049
So why don't you
go talk to Mr. Schmiller?
251
00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:37,855
You would like me, your wife, to
go down to the basement alone?
252
00:12:38,035 --> 00:12:40,659
Tsk tsk, there are things
in the basement.
253
00:12:40,659 --> 00:12:43,280
Large, hairy things.
254
00:12:45,343 --> 00:12:48,184
Well, let's not
discuss Mrs. Schmiller.
255
00:12:51,226 --> 00:12:53,208
Look, I do not
wanna go see Mr. Schmiller.
256
00:12:53,208 --> 00:12:56,554
Mr. Schmiller happens
to be a very mean man.
257
00:12:56,994 --> 00:13:01,179
Okay, just remember,
body heat
258
00:13:01,261 --> 00:13:03,675
rests on your decision.
259
00:13:04,508 --> 00:13:05,968
That's blackmail.
260
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,215
You got it.
261
00:13:12,042 --> 00:13:14,381
- Blackmail.
- Mm-hmm.
262
00:13:20,595 --> 00:13:22,052
Arnold!
263
00:13:22,946 --> 00:13:24,970
What are you doing here?
264
00:13:25,949 --> 00:13:27,652
I said,
what are you doing here?
265
00:13:27,735 --> 00:13:31,457
Hello, Mrs. Kotter,
I gotta talk to you alone.
266
00:13:31,540 --> 00:13:33,744
Well, how did you know
that I would be alone, Arnold?
267
00:13:33,827 --> 00:13:37,191
Oh, see, I'm the one
who turned down the heat.
268
00:13:40,066 --> 00:13:41,965
Come on, Arnold, sit down.
269
00:13:42,048 --> 00:13:45,588
Mrs. Kotter, I got a
favor to axe of you.
270
00:13:45,671 --> 00:13:47,771
Axe, Arnold, axe.
271
00:13:48,051 --> 00:13:51,414
Mrs. Kotter, do you
think that you could use
272
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:54,777
your multifaceted female charms
273
00:13:54,860 --> 00:13:57,039
to get Mr. Kotter
to like me again?
274
00:13:57,122 --> 00:14:00,119
Mr. Kotter likes you, Arnold.
275
00:14:00,202 --> 00:14:02,284
Arnold, you should be proud.
276
00:14:02,367 --> 00:14:03,968
Just think of the example
that you're setting
277
00:14:03,968 --> 00:14:05,475
for all the other Sweathogs.
278
00:14:05,558 --> 00:14:07,016
Ha!
279
00:14:07,495 --> 00:14:11,318
Ha ha ha ha ha ha.
280
00:14:11,401 --> 00:14:14,802
Oh, Mrs. Kotter,
see, that's not what
281
00:14:14,885 --> 00:14:16,828
they want me or need me for.
282
00:14:16,828 --> 00:14:19,330
See, Vinnie, Vinnie needs me
283
00:14:19,413 --> 00:14:22,655
so that he could
feel important, you know?
284
00:14:22,999 --> 00:14:26,850
And-and-and Juan needs me
so that he can feel strong.
285
00:14:27,203 --> 00:14:29,679
And-and-and
Freddie needs me...
286
00:14:29,762 --> 00:14:32,867
...I don't know
why Freddie needs me.
287
00:14:32,887 --> 00:14:35,790
But you never know
when he might need me.
288
00:14:37,251 --> 00:14:41,117
Hey, Mrs. Kotter, do you
think it's unmanly to cry?
289
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:44,563
Oh, no, Arnold, of course not.
290
00:14:44,564 --> 00:14:48,050
[crying]
291
00:14:52,883 --> 00:14:54,013
Am I crazy?
292
00:14:54,096 --> 00:14:59,280
Or do I see Arnold Horshack
nestled to my wife's bosom?
293
00:15:01,414 --> 00:15:02,874
Aah!
294
00:15:03,281 --> 00:15:05,745
Do not get
the wrong idea, Mr. Kotter.
295
00:15:05,828 --> 00:15:08,730
This is not
one of them kinky scenes.
296
00:15:15,439 --> 00:15:18,563
Uh, Julie, I know that you
was trying to keep warm.
297
00:15:18,563 --> 00:15:21,692
But this is
absolutely ridiculous.
298
00:15:21,775 --> 00:15:24,300
- The heat's on.
- Ooh, good.
299
00:15:24,383 --> 00:15:26,825
Excuse me, Arnold, I'm gonna
go sit on the radiator.
300
00:15:26,908 --> 00:15:28,686
Go ahead, go ahead.
301
00:15:28,769 --> 00:15:31,655
Okay, Mr. Kinky, what's up?
302
00:15:31,738 --> 00:15:33,903
Oh, I-I just
come by to tell ya
303
00:15:33,903 --> 00:15:36,522
how great things
is going for me.
304
00:15:36,605 --> 00:15:40,854
I sure am one happy
symbol of good teaching. Ha ha.
305
00:15:40,937 --> 00:15:45,052
Happy, happy, happy,
happy, happy, ha ha.
306
00:15:45,135 --> 00:15:47,359
Oh, by the way, Mrs. Kotter,
that thing we was talking about.
307
00:15:47,442 --> 00:15:49,946
If you do not help me,
I'm gonna throw myself off
308
00:15:49,946 --> 00:15:52,274
of the highest mountain
in Brooklyn.
309
00:15:54,073 --> 00:15:56,445
And when they find me...
310
00:15:56,878 --> 00:15:59,159
...if they find me...
311
00:15:59,242 --> 00:16:03,386
...they'll never
know... who I was.
312
00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:05,932
John Doe Horshack.
313
00:16:07,876 --> 00:16:11,199
A Slovak legend in his own time.
314
00:16:19,970 --> 00:16:21,769
Call it a sixth sense, Julie
315
00:16:21,852 --> 00:16:25,022
but I get the feeling
that something is bugging him.
316
00:16:26,503 --> 00:16:27,917
What?
317
00:16:28,641 --> 00:16:31,282
Something is bugging him?
318
00:16:32,105 --> 00:16:33,825
The poor kid is miserable
319
00:16:33,908 --> 00:16:35,430
and he is not gonna
learn anything
320
00:16:35,430 --> 00:16:38,738
in that new class
if he doesn't wanna be there.
321
00:16:38,821 --> 00:16:41,347
You're right. Let me put it up.
Just halfway--
322
00:16:41,348 --> 00:16:43,417
What are you doing?
323
00:16:43,500 --> 00:16:47,093
Halfway, compromise? Alright.
You're right. I was wrong.
324
00:16:47,176 --> 00:16:50,613
Horshack only started to do good
because he felt he belonged.
325
00:16:55,126 --> 00:16:56,726
How ya doin'?
326
00:16:56,809 --> 00:16:58,693
- What's happening?
- Hi, there.
327
00:16:58,776 --> 00:17:00,348
You know what I'm gonna do?
328
00:17:00,431 --> 00:17:01,675
I'm gonna tell you
what I'm gonna do.
329
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:03,812
I'm gonna put
a door on my window.
330
00:17:03,895 --> 00:17:06,029
That way, you'll come
through the door.
331
00:17:06,112 --> 00:17:09,737
You know somethin'?
It's cold in here.
332
00:17:09,738 --> 00:17:13,285
Yeah, you could
freeze off your fandangos.
333
00:17:15,618 --> 00:17:18,555
Okay, look, Mr. Kotter,
we come on a mission of mercy.
334
00:17:18,638 --> 00:17:20,340
Yeah, man, we wanna
know if we can stop
335
00:17:20,403 --> 00:17:22,641
bein' mean to Horshack yet.
336
00:17:22,725 --> 00:17:25,205
Yeah, I was thinking about that.
337
00:17:25,288 --> 00:17:26,942
I was wrong.
338
00:17:27,025 --> 00:17:28,616
You guys were right.
339
00:17:28,699 --> 00:17:31,082
Horshack definitely belongs
with the Sweathogs.
340
00:17:31,082 --> 00:17:32,542
Alright! Yeah.
341
00:17:32,675 --> 00:17:35,315
I'll go talk to Mr. Woodman,
I'll explain the entire thing
342
00:17:35,398 --> 00:17:38,560
to him rationally
and I'm sure he'll understand.
343
00:17:40,020 --> 00:17:43,215
Hey, hey, Mr. Kotter, now you
don't believe that now, do you?
344
00:17:43,298 --> 00:17:47,109
I mean, why don't we,
sort of, con Mr. Woodman
345
00:17:47,109 --> 00:17:48,633
to givin' us Horshack back?
346
00:17:48,716 --> 00:17:50,100
- You wanna con him?
- Yeah.
347
00:17:50,119 --> 00:17:54,091
What you gonna do? Trap him in
a motel room with a cheerleader?
348
00:17:55,126 --> 00:17:58,193
Well, you know, we mean like
the way you con us in class.
349
00:17:58,276 --> 00:17:59,818
You know, the way you dramatize
350
00:17:59,818 --> 00:18:02,720
to-to sneak your point
across, I know.
351
00:18:02,720 --> 00:18:04,862
Yeah, yeah, you see, we thought
we'd put on a little play
352
00:18:04,863 --> 00:18:06,430
for old Woodman, you know?
353
00:18:06,483 --> 00:18:09,181
Sorta convince him
to see things our way.
354
00:18:09,201 --> 00:18:10,363
- Yeah.
- Mmm-hmm.
355
00:18:10,446 --> 00:18:13,308
Right this way,
Mr. First Nighter.
356
00:18:13,391 --> 00:18:16,830
Front row center,
Mr. First Nighter.
357
00:18:16,913 --> 00:18:22,056
For your comfort,
uh, Mr. First Nighter.
358
00:18:23,395 --> 00:18:25,436
What do you people
think you're doing?
359
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,392
This, Mr. Woodman is
a dramatization, a little play.
360
00:18:28,424 --> 00:18:31,126
Just pretend you're spending
an evening at the theatre.
361
00:18:31,209 --> 00:18:32,927
I hate the theatre, Kotter.
362
00:18:33,011 --> 00:18:36,448
Last time I went to a play,
they robbed my house.
363
00:18:37,261 --> 00:18:39,882
Shh! Shh! Shh!
364
00:18:39,965 --> 00:18:45,666
Presenting the little Sweathogs
in "Come Back, Little Arnold."
365
00:18:45,753 --> 00:18:47,211
[Vernajean] Take one.
366
00:18:56,451 --> 00:18:59,323
Boy, ahem, without
Horshack's calming
367
00:18:59,407 --> 00:19:02,541
influence I really feel mean.
368
00:19:02,563 --> 00:19:05,369
[grunting]
369
00:19:07,798 --> 00:19:10,968
And I think I'll go
out and bite a tree.
370
00:19:12,878 --> 00:19:15,344
O-o-o-ow!
371
00:19:15,427 --> 00:19:17,337
Oh-oh-oh.
372
00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:20,836
[Jamaican accent] Woe is me, begarra.
Where is Horshack?
373
00:19:22,316 --> 00:19:26,519
The little chap who adds
a note of laughter to me life.
374
00:19:29,210 --> 00:19:32,582
Look, here comes Horshack now.
375
00:19:48,090 --> 00:19:49,853
[imitating Arnold] Hello.
376
00:19:50,223 --> 00:19:52,029
How are you?
377
00:19:52,486 --> 00:19:54,259
I'm Arnold Horshack.
378
00:19:54,342 --> 00:19:57,279
[wheezy laughter]
379
00:20:00,214 --> 00:20:03,567
Horshack, you have returned.
380
00:20:03,650 --> 00:20:07,134
Our life had lost all meaning
without our little friend
381
00:20:07,134 --> 00:20:09,455
Horshack, to lend
a helping hand.
382
00:20:09,538 --> 00:20:14,700
[both] Here, Vinnie,
here's my helping hand.
383
00:20:17,871 --> 00:20:19,764
[both laughing wheezily]
384
00:20:26,518 --> 00:20:31,741
[both] Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
385
00:20:33,499 --> 00:20:34,957
[both] Oh!
386
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:43,531
I don't got no moustache.
387
00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:48,650
Mr. Woodman, what is
going on here, please?
388
00:20:50,605 --> 00:20:52,987
Don't ask me,
I'm Mr. First Nighter.
389
00:20:53,886 --> 00:20:55,407
Arnold, we were acting.
390
00:20:55,490 --> 00:20:57,062
Actually, we were overacting.
391
00:20:57,071 --> 00:20:58,768
But we're just
trying to show Mr. Woodman
392
00:20:58,794 --> 00:21:01,293
how much we care about you.
393
00:21:01,377 --> 00:21:03,837
Do you guys really mean that?
394
00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,357
Hey, look, Horshack, you know,
we kid around a lot, right?
395
00:21:08,380 --> 00:21:10,190
But we really missed you.
396
00:21:10,273 --> 00:21:14,196
Yeah, you know, I never really
thought I would miss you but...
397
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,380
...I don't know, you
sorta grow on a guy...
398
00:21:16,664 --> 00:21:18,124
...like mold.
399
00:21:21,722 --> 00:21:24,071
Oh, thank you, Freddie.
400
00:21:24,155 --> 00:21:26,515
Hey, I miss you guys so much.
401
00:21:26,599 --> 00:21:30,820
I am truly gratified to learn
that you miss me too.
402
00:21:30,903 --> 00:21:33,967
Oh, Mr. Woodman, look at me.
403
00:21:34,050 --> 00:21:36,552
Look at both of me.
404
00:21:37,666 --> 00:21:40,287
Look at the look on my faces.
405
00:21:41,547 --> 00:21:44,909
Oh, please, Mr. Woodman,
give us a break.
406
00:21:44,993 --> 00:21:48,416
Lest you forget, we are
a symbol of good teaching.
407
00:21:51,379 --> 00:21:52,903
Yes, and someday,
they're gonna name a wing
408
00:21:52,960 --> 00:21:54,619
here at Buchanan after us.
409
00:21:54,702 --> 00:21:57,841
They'll call it
the Horshack Wing.
410
00:21:57,924 --> 00:21:59,715
[clucking]
411
00:21:59,798 --> 00:22:01,284
[all clucking]
412
00:22:01,368 --> 00:22:03,467
Stop that flapping!
413
00:22:04,431 --> 00:22:06,612
You're making a draft.
414
00:22:07,938 --> 00:22:09,962
I can't let you
back in this classroom.
415
00:22:10,045 --> 00:22:11,708
How will you keep
your grades up?
416
00:22:11,728 --> 00:22:13,620
I'll help him.
417
00:22:16,196 --> 00:22:19,237
Mr. Woodman, if Arnold learned
anything to get ahead
418
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:20,887
he learned it in this classroom.
419
00:22:20,922 --> 00:22:22,620
You wanna know why?
I'll tell you why.
420
00:22:22,665 --> 00:22:26,047
Because for someone to learn,
they gotta feel secure.
421
00:22:26,130 --> 00:22:28,499
They have to feel
like they belong.
422
00:22:30,513 --> 00:22:34,060
Alright, Horshack,
get back where ya belong.
423
00:22:34,143 --> 00:22:35,884
With Kotter's bunch.
424
00:22:35,884 --> 00:22:38,124
[all cheering]
425
00:22:41,114 --> 00:22:43,895
Oh, I thank you all very much.
426
00:22:43,978 --> 00:22:47,019
You know, in my other class,
every time I made a joke
427
00:22:47,102 --> 00:22:50,807
the teacher said, "School is
not a laughing matter."
428
00:22:52,109 --> 00:22:55,546
And I said, "Oh, yeah, you
should try Mr. Kotter's class."
429
00:22:57,604 --> 00:22:58,826
Welcome back, Horshack.
430
00:22:58,909 --> 00:23:01,655
♪ Welcome back ♪
431
00:23:01,738 --> 00:23:05,510
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
432
00:23:05,510 --> 00:23:07,229
♪ Welcome back... ♪♪
433
00:23:09,818 --> 00:23:11,036
Hey, did I tell you about
the present my Cousin Howard
434
00:23:11,036 --> 00:23:13,038
gave my Aunt Bernice
for her birthday?
435
00:23:13,058 --> 00:23:14,719
No, why don't you
tell me about it.
436
00:23:14,719 --> 00:23:16,398
Well you know, they're very rich
and my Aunt Bernice
437
00:23:16,481 --> 00:23:17,658
has everything, right?
438
00:23:17,742 --> 00:23:19,048
So he figured he'd get
somethin' different.
439
00:23:19,103 --> 00:23:20,821
He went to a pet store
and he got my Aunt Bernice
440
00:23:20,904 --> 00:23:23,035
a parrot that
speaks seven languages.
441
00:23:23,118 --> 00:23:24,645
You know, he goes
in the parrot's there going...
442
00:23:24,727 --> 00:23:25,690
[imitating parrot]
443
00:23:25,773 --> 00:23:27,387
Sprechen sie deutsche?
444
00:23:27,470 --> 00:23:29,215
Parlez vous France?
445
00:23:29,298 --> 00:23:30,782
- Terrific parrot.
- Alright.
446
00:23:30,865 --> 00:23:32,715
- Okay.
- Aunt Bernice like it?
447
00:23:32,715 --> 00:23:34,286
Well, he came back the next day
and that's what he said to her
448
00:23:34,369 --> 00:23:36,620
he said, "Aunt Bernice,
do you like the parrot?"
449
00:23:36,702 --> 00:23:39,596
She said, "Oh, that parrot
was delicious."
450
00:23:41,965 --> 00:23:43,532
He said,
"You ate that parrot?
451
00:23:43,616 --> 00:23:45,252
"That parrot costs $5000
452
00:23:45,321 --> 00:23:47,603
and spoke seven
different languages."
453
00:23:47,686 --> 00:23:49,331
Well, what did she say?
454
00:23:49,415 --> 00:23:51,414
It should've said something.
455
00:23:51,497 --> 00:23:54,330
♪ Welcome back ♪
456
00:23:54,413 --> 00:23:57,959
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out... ♪♪
457
00:23:59,592 --> 00:24:01,920
[theme song]
458
00:24:06,860 --> 00:24:09,737
♪ Welcome back ♪
459
00:24:09,820 --> 00:24:13,305
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
460
00:24:13,388 --> 00:24:15,438
♪ Welcome back ♪
461
00:24:15,521 --> 00:24:20,182
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
462
00:24:20,265 --> 00:24:24,316
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
463
00:24:24,399 --> 00:24:29,147
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
464
00:24:29,230 --> 00:24:31,585
♪ Who'd have
thought they'd lead ya ♪
465
00:24:31,668 --> 00:24:33,325
♪ Who'd have
thought they'd lead ya ♪
466
00:24:33,408 --> 00:24:35,545
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
467
00:24:35,628 --> 00:24:37,591
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
468
00:24:37,674 --> 00:24:41,724
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
469
00:24:41,807 --> 00:24:43,858
♪ Welcome back ♪
470
00:24:43,941 --> 00:24:46,077
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
471
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,253
♪ Welcome back ♪
472
00:24:48,336 --> 00:24:50,342
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
473
00:24:50,425 --> 00:24:52,562
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
474
00:24:52,645 --> 00:24:54,695
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
475
00:24:54,778 --> 00:24:56,914
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
476
00:24:56,997 --> 00:24:59,176
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
477
00:24:59,259 --> 00:25:03,442
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
478
00:25:03,525 --> 00:25:05,223
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
36304
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