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1
00:00:01,946 --> 00:00:03,991
Hey, Julie, did I tell about
the time a teacher asked me
2
00:00:03,991 --> 00:00:06,154
who signed
The Declaration of Independence?
3
00:00:06,154 --> 00:00:09,820
- No, why don't you tell me?
- Okay. I'm in school.
4
00:00:09,840 --> 00:00:12,064
The teacher says, "Kotter
stand-up," I stand up, she says
5
00:00:12,064 --> 00:00:14,124
"Who signed the
declaration of independence?"
6
00:00:14,207 --> 00:00:16,709
- What did you say?
- I said...
7
00:00:17,452 --> 00:00:19,493
...I don't know.
8
00:00:19,576 --> 00:00:21,945
But I know,
I didn't sign it.
9
00:00:24,183 --> 00:00:27,265
She says "Go home and bring your
father to school the next day."
10
00:00:27,348 --> 00:00:28,751
Okay. Then what happened?
11
00:00:28,834 --> 00:00:30,876
I had to bring him
to school the next day.
12
00:00:30,959 --> 00:00:32,379
She said, "Mr. Kotter,
watch this.
13
00:00:32,462 --> 00:00:33,723
Gabe, stand up." I stood up.
14
00:00:33,723 --> 00:00:36,037
She said "Who signed The
Declaration of Independence?"
15
00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:41,037
I said, "I don't know,
but I know I didn't sign it."
16
00:00:41,120 --> 00:00:43,345
She looks at my father,
she says, "Did you see that?"
17
00:00:43,365 --> 00:00:45,650
Well, what did your father say?
18
00:00:45,650 --> 00:00:48,213
My father said "If he says
he didn't sign it
19
00:00:48,296 --> 00:00:49,958
he didn't sign it."
20
00:00:52,127 --> 00:00:53,959
[male narrator] Welcome Back, Kotter
is recorded live
21
00:00:54,042 --> 00:00:56,370
before a studio audience.
22
00:01:00,614 --> 00:01:03,421
[John Sebastian singing "Welcome back, Kotter"]
23
00:01:03,835 --> 00:01:06,581
♪ Welcome back ♪
24
00:01:06,664 --> 00:01:10,367
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
25
00:01:10,450 --> 00:01:12,542
♪ Welcome back ♪
26
00:01:12,625 --> 00:01:17,200
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
27
00:01:17,283 --> 00:01:21,813
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
28
00:01:21,896 --> 00:01:26,155
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
29
00:01:26,155 --> 00:01:28,335
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
30
00:01:28,418 --> 00:01:29,989
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
31
00:01:30,072 --> 00:01:32,121
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
32
00:01:32,203 --> 00:01:34,080
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
33
00:01:34,163 --> 00:01:36,343
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
34
00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:38,474
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
35
00:01:38,557 --> 00:01:40,738
♪ Welcome back ♪
36
00:01:40,821 --> 00:01:45,395
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪
37
00:01:45,478 --> 00:01:50,069
♪ Welcome back
welcome back welcome back ♪♪
38
00:01:58,986 --> 00:02:00,486
Okay, A
39
00:02:01,080 --> 00:02:03,444
"The Berber Tribes
were Orientals."
40
00:02:03,527 --> 00:02:06,588
B, "The Berber Tribes moved
across the polar ice caps
41
00:02:06,671 --> 00:02:08,847
and became the first Eskimos."
42
00:02:08,915 --> 00:02:10,591
So it follows that C
43
00:02:10,674 --> 00:02:12,818
"Orientals were
the first Eskimos."
44
00:02:12,901 --> 00:02:16,536
Well, I guess them igloos are
really made out of white rice.
45
00:02:16,619 --> 00:02:18,252
[laughing]
46
00:02:19,851 --> 00:02:22,031
Hey, you know, it must be
real murder trying to eat whale
47
00:02:22,114 --> 00:02:24,214
with chop sticks,
you know what I mean?
48
00:02:24,531 --> 00:02:25,743
Ah!
49
00:02:25,826 --> 00:02:27,749
[laughing]
50
00:02:27,832 --> 00:02:29,833
Alright, come on, ethnic jokes
like that aren't funny.
51
00:02:29,916 --> 00:02:31,417
They show a lack
of intelligence.
52
00:02:31,437 --> 00:02:34,073
Then let us hear
one of your jokes.
53
00:02:34,898 --> 00:02:38,121
Okay, did you hear about
the 500 pound parrot?
54
00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:42,055
He says, "Polly
wants a cracker now."
55
00:02:46,779 --> 00:02:49,392
Do you call that
teaching, Kotter?
56
00:02:49,475 --> 00:02:51,557
No, I call it a joke.
57
00:02:51,557 --> 00:02:53,037
You see,
he's a 500 pound parrot.
58
00:02:53,038 --> 00:02:56,063
He says, "Polly
wants a cracker now."
59
00:02:58,242 --> 00:03:00,322
Spare me, Kotter,
I just came by to tell you
60
00:03:00,405 --> 00:03:02,407
you're getting a new student.
61
00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:06,107
- New Sweathog?
- That's right. From California.
62
00:03:06,108 --> 00:03:07,411
Out there,
they're all Sweathogs.
63
00:03:07,411 --> 00:03:10,298
The only difference
is the sun tan.
64
00:03:11,217 --> 00:03:13,354
Where is this
new, uh, Sweathog of mine?
65
00:03:13,437 --> 00:03:14,618
She's on her way here.
66
00:03:14,641 --> 00:03:15,739
She was just
in the nurses office
67
00:03:15,822 --> 00:03:17,282
getting shots.
68
00:03:17,504 --> 00:03:21,094
I wouldn't let a child in this
environment without them.
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00:03:25,633 --> 00:03:27,267
[all] Ooh-h-h!
70
00:03:27,350 --> 00:03:30,766
[cheering]
71
00:03:33,377 --> 00:03:35,478
Wo-o-o-w.
72
00:03:36,924 --> 00:03:39,600
Haven't you ever
seen a girl before?
73
00:03:40,026 --> 00:03:42,126
Not that kind.
74
00:03:42,490 --> 00:03:45,950
What am I supposed to be?
Neck bones and gravy?
75
00:03:47,656 --> 00:03:50,437
Make sure that
these sweathogs behave.
76
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:52,502
At the end of the day
I'm having her dusted
77
00:03:52,502 --> 00:03:53,962
for fingerprints.
78
00:03:56,829 --> 00:03:59,110
- Hello.
- Hi.
79
00:03:59,970 --> 00:04:03,169
- What's your first name?
- It's Bambi.
80
00:04:05,576 --> 00:04:09,521
But, uh, my friends
call me Sunshine.
81
00:04:09,604 --> 00:04:11,704
Well, uh,
let the sunshine in, darlin'.
82
00:04:17,595 --> 00:04:19,174
Uh, what part of California
do you come from?
83
00:04:19,257 --> 00:04:20,717
The beach.
84
00:04:22,223 --> 00:04:25,022
Hi... I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
85
00:04:25,105 --> 00:04:27,386
Head Sweathog here.
86
00:04:33,474 --> 00:04:36,145
How do you think
I'd go over on the beach?
87
00:04:36,228 --> 00:04:38,958
Oh, you'd be great.
88
00:04:39,041 --> 00:04:41,978
You should have
your own religion.
89
00:04:43,707 --> 00:04:45,166
Oh, yeah.
90
00:04:47,190 --> 00:04:48,650
Freddie Washington.
91
00:04:50,795 --> 00:04:52,515
Hi, there.
92
00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,610
Frederico "Boom-Boom"
at your service.
93
00:04:58,545 --> 00:05:00,270
Hey, Boom Boom...
94
00:05:00,354 --> 00:05:03,654
...it's gonna be difficult
for you to kiss anybody's hand
95
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:06,544
with your lip broken.
96
00:05:07,261 --> 00:05:09,236
That's alright.
That's alright.
97
00:05:09,320 --> 00:05:12,582
Oh, oh, oh.
Oh, oh, oh.
98
00:05:12,666 --> 00:05:15,445
We'll get to you, Arnold,
I promise. We'll get to you.
99
00:05:15,528 --> 00:05:18,070
That's Thomas, this is Ricky.
100
00:05:18,070 --> 00:05:22,158
Larry, Robert, Joyce.
This is Juan.
101
00:05:22,158 --> 00:05:24,693
Hi, I'm Juan Epstein.
102
00:05:24,777 --> 00:05:28,803
Didn't we live together
in another life?
103
00:05:29,402 --> 00:05:31,502
Oh-h-h.
104
00:05:32,068 --> 00:05:33,710
Oh-h-h.
105
00:05:33,794 --> 00:05:36,176
I would've remembered that.
106
00:05:38,112 --> 00:05:40,254
Oh, he's magic.
107
00:05:40,662 --> 00:05:43,467
Yeah, maybe one day
he'll disappear.
108
00:05:44,754 --> 00:05:47,348
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
109
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:48,331
- Yes, I know.
- Oh.
110
00:05:48,331 --> 00:05:50,452
This is Arnold Horshack.
This is Bambi.
111
00:05:50,473 --> 00:05:52,152
Don't talk.
112
00:05:52,235 --> 00:05:55,520
Just feel the vibes.
113
00:05:57,979 --> 00:05:59,000
Oh-h-h.
114
00:05:59,083 --> 00:06:02,282
I think I just felt one.
115
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,654
O-o-oh, wow.
116
00:06:08,738 --> 00:06:11,440
He has an aura.
117
00:06:11,523 --> 00:06:14,372
I got a aura!
118
00:06:16,571 --> 00:06:20,379
Did you hear that, Mr. Kotter?
I got a aura!
119
00:06:20,859 --> 00:06:23,534
I got a aura!
120
00:06:25,427 --> 00:06:27,608
What's a aura?
121
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:35,278
Bambi, why don't you
sit over there?
122
00:06:38,017 --> 00:06:40,579
So, tell me, what do you
think of your new class mates?
123
00:06:40,662 --> 00:06:42,121
They're nice.
124
00:06:42,704 --> 00:06:47,667
But the guys in California
are so open and groovy.
125
00:06:47,751 --> 00:06:49,056
You know, Mr. Kotter
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00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:50,555
you remind me of this guy
127
00:06:50,595 --> 00:06:52,515
I knew in California.
128
00:06:52,598 --> 00:06:55,139
Who? Jim Nabors?
129
00:06:58,606 --> 00:07:01,247
Wayne Newton, maybe.
130
00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:03,504
Liberace?
131
00:07:05,762 --> 00:07:08,127
Okay, before we were discussing
the cultural differences
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00:07:08,210 --> 00:07:09,893
between the Eskimos
and the Berbers.
133
00:07:09,976 --> 00:07:13,304
Let's make that California...
134
00:07:13,388 --> 00:07:16,761
...against good, old Brooklyn.
135
00:07:17,698 --> 00:07:19,351
Uh, Bambi, why don't you
start out by tellin' us
136
00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:21,760
what your typical
California day is like.
137
00:07:21,843 --> 00:07:23,943
- Sure.
- Go ahead.
138
00:07:24,646 --> 00:07:26,106
Well, uh...
139
00:07:27,249 --> 00:07:32,135
...I usually roll out
of my waterbed at 8:00
140
00:07:32,135 --> 00:07:34,635
to see if the surf's up.
141
00:07:34,718 --> 00:07:39,854
And if it's warm
and it's always warm.
142
00:07:40,662 --> 00:07:42,885
I, uh, put on my bikini
143
00:07:42,968 --> 00:07:47,994
and grab some
organic raisins and nuts.
144
00:07:48,014 --> 00:07:50,295
And, uh, go to the beach
145
00:07:50,378 --> 00:07:53,840
where we swim
and play volleyball.
146
00:07:53,923 --> 00:07:56,743
[all] Us too, us too, yeah.
147
00:07:57,365 --> 00:08:00,109
Okay, Bambi has told us about
her typical California day.
148
00:08:00,192 --> 00:08:02,934
She gets out of her waterbed,
it's always warm
149
00:08:02,996 --> 00:08:05,197
she puts on a bikini,
she grabs some nuts
150
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:08,404
and she goes swimming.
151
00:08:08,424 --> 00:08:10,922
Now, what are the differences?
152
00:08:11,005 --> 00:08:12,527
Well, let's see now.
153
00:08:12,610 --> 00:08:14,951
She sleeps on a waterbed...
154
00:08:15,034 --> 00:08:17,074
...and I sleep with my brother.
155
00:08:17,157 --> 00:08:19,259
Hey, man, me too.
156
00:08:19,342 --> 00:08:21,442
I remember once...
157
00:08:21,967 --> 00:08:24,528
...when I was real little...
158
00:08:24,611 --> 00:08:27,548
...I slept in a waterbed.
159
00:08:32,101 --> 00:08:34,626
[bell ringing]
160
00:08:34,708 --> 00:08:37,501
Hey, look, let's me and you
get together after school.
161
00:08:37,501 --> 00:08:39,822
I'm gonna take you
water-skiing on the East River.
162
00:08:39,905 --> 00:08:42,626
- Manana.
- Hey, manana.
163
00:08:43,526 --> 00:08:45,145
Baby, Imma give you
a guided tour uptown
164
00:08:45,228 --> 00:08:47,295
that ain't
in no guide books. Dig...
165
00:08:47,378 --> 00:08:49,990
New York City.
On five ribs a day.
166
00:08:50,073 --> 00:08:51,258
[chuckles]
167
00:08:51,341 --> 00:08:55,563
How would you like
five broken ribs?
168
00:08:56,525 --> 00:08:59,245
[indistinct chattering]
169
00:09:05,442 --> 00:09:07,562
Hi, Bambi,
can I help you with something?
170
00:09:07,645 --> 00:09:10,729
Hmm, Mr. Kotter, uh,
what's your sign?
171
00:09:10,729 --> 00:09:14,914
Oh, wait-wait-wait,
let me guess. Um... Taurus?
172
00:09:14,914 --> 00:09:16,374
- No.
- Libra?
173
00:09:16,457 --> 00:09:18,453
- No.
- Cancer.
174
00:09:18,536 --> 00:09:20,399
- Wrong.
- Capricorn.
175
00:09:20,482 --> 00:09:24,025
- No, no, I'm Aquarius.
- I just knew it.
176
00:09:25,245 --> 00:09:27,228
I was born on a cusp.
177
00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:30,379
Must have been very painful.
178
00:09:31,910 --> 00:09:36,096
Oh, you're so funny
and together, Mr. Kotter.
179
00:09:36,179 --> 00:09:39,801
I mean, your karma
is really heavy.
180
00:09:39,884 --> 00:09:43,346
Yeah, well, I'm gonna go
on a karma diet.
181
00:09:44,326 --> 00:09:48,171
You remind me
of my teacher in California.
182
00:09:48,254 --> 00:09:51,956
He let me call him, uh, Jerry.
183
00:09:52,039 --> 00:09:55,412
Okay, call me Jerry.
184
00:09:57,412 --> 00:10:00,807
You know, um, Mr. Woodman
said you oughta show me around.
185
00:10:00,890 --> 00:10:04,895
And, uh, I have
no plans after school.
186
00:10:04,896 --> 00:10:07,577
Well, why don't you have one of
the Sweathogs show you around?
187
00:10:07,660 --> 00:10:09,381
Uh, they're not
groovy like you
188
00:10:09,381 --> 00:10:14,582
and besides you are so much
more mature than those kids.
189
00:10:15,988 --> 00:10:18,272
Um... well, Bambi,
those kids are very mature.
190
00:10:18,355 --> 00:10:19,633
I think,
you're makin' a mistake.
191
00:10:19,716 --> 00:10:22,698
Take Arnold Horshack
for instance.
192
00:10:22,780 --> 00:10:25,001
Once you get past that
Roy Rogers lunch box
193
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,184
he's all man.
194
00:10:28,237 --> 00:10:32,125
I get such
good vibes from you.
195
00:10:32,208 --> 00:10:36,256
Oh, these? Well, uh, I mean,
I don't really have good vibes.
196
00:10:36,256 --> 00:10:37,344
In fact,
when I was young my mother
197
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:40,464
had to put braces on my vibes.
198
00:10:40,618 --> 00:10:44,492
My wife, she calls me
Barry "Bad Vibes."
199
00:10:44,575 --> 00:10:48,152
- You're married?
- Yes, I'm married. I'm married.
200
00:10:48,172 --> 00:10:49,670
How many times?
201
00:10:49,753 --> 00:10:51,876
- Just once.
- Oh, how boring.
202
00:10:51,959 --> 00:10:55,136
My father's been
married five times.
203
00:10:55,219 --> 00:10:58,875
So, uh, well,
what are doing after school?
204
00:10:58,902 --> 00:11:02,604
I'm gonna just finish erasing
the black board with my sweater.
205
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:04,989
♪ Welcome back... ♪
206
00:11:09,389 --> 00:11:11,691
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
207
00:11:11,774 --> 00:11:14,631
Anything interesting
happened today?
208
00:11:14,714 --> 00:11:18,129
- No, not much.
- You're sure?
209
00:11:18,212 --> 00:11:21,073
- Sure, I'm sure.
- Good.
210
00:11:21,155 --> 00:11:23,576
I knew I had nothing
to worry about.
211
00:11:23,659 --> 00:11:26,860
- Why?
- Oh, nothing.
212
00:11:26,943 --> 00:11:30,665
Just some girl named Sunshine
called four times.
213
00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:35,152
Wanted to know if you could
go skinny dipping with her.
214
00:11:39,078 --> 00:11:41,639
You've anything
to say for yourself?
215
00:11:41,722 --> 00:11:43,182
Yes.
216
00:11:43,344 --> 00:11:45,444
Can I go?
217
00:11:49,347 --> 00:11:52,093
Julie, Sunshine is this new
student of mine from California.
218
00:11:52,176 --> 00:11:54,959
She's been really comin' on,
ya know, school girl crush?
219
00:11:55,042 --> 00:11:57,370
She's a real teenybopper.
220
00:11:58,328 --> 00:12:02,354
Tell me, just how teeny
is this bopper?
221
00:12:04,984 --> 00:12:07,833
She's, uh, I would say,
your average bopper.
222
00:12:09,734 --> 00:12:10,895
Mm-hm?
223
00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:13,181
Look she's really got
a terrific shape and, uh
224
00:12:13,181 --> 00:12:15,421
all the kids in class're
climbing over each other
225
00:12:15,504 --> 00:12:16,763
to get next to her and, uh
226
00:12:16,846 --> 00:12:19,406
she's climbing over them
to get next to me.
227
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:23,166
Oh... well, all that climbing
should get her somewhere.
228
00:12:23,634 --> 00:12:26,049
Julie, I told I was married.
229
00:12:26,356 --> 00:12:28,798
[laughs] And that stopped her?
230
00:12:28,881 --> 00:12:30,327
- No.
- No.
231
00:12:30,410 --> 00:12:32,803
She likes a man
with a little experience.
232
00:12:32,886 --> 00:12:34,265
Anybody who doesn't have
a picture of trigger
233
00:12:34,348 --> 00:12:36,632
on his lunch box.
234
00:12:39,298 --> 00:12:41,974
Julie, it's just
an adolescent flirtation.
235
00:12:48,340 --> 00:12:50,189
[sighs]
236
00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,240
Okay.
237
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:53,923
Why don't you
just explain to her
238
00:12:54,006 --> 00:12:56,928
that you are too old for her?
239
00:12:57,011 --> 00:12:59,714
Use the old Kotter charm.
240
00:12:59,797 --> 00:13:03,040
Nothing else, she'll get
a good laugh out of it.
241
00:13:04,302 --> 00:13:06,185
I think you're right. I'll go up
to her tomorrow, I'll say
242
00:13:06,268 --> 00:13:07,509
"Look, I'm too old for you."
243
00:13:07,510 --> 00:13:10,111
"And we can't run away together.
Just won't work out."
244
00:13:10,194 --> 00:13:12,761
I think she'll understand.
I'll really explain it to her.
245
00:13:12,778 --> 00:13:16,240
And if she doesn't,
I promise I'll write.
246
00:13:20,180 --> 00:13:23,554
[chanting]
247
00:13:26,117 --> 00:13:28,117
Hi, Gabsy.
248
00:13:28,199 --> 00:13:30,078
Well, I see a little sunshine
has crept
249
00:13:30,161 --> 00:13:32,142
into your life, Epstein.
250
00:13:33,154 --> 00:13:35,760
- What are you doing?
- Chanting.
251
00:13:35,843 --> 00:13:39,500
Bambi says that if I chant,
I can get whatever I want.
252
00:13:39,583 --> 00:13:44,888
Bambi, Bambi, Bambi,
Bambi, Bambi, Bambi.
253
00:13:45,207 --> 00:13:48,318
♪ Hurray for Hollywood ♪
254
00:13:57,079 --> 00:14:00,545
♪ La la la la la la la
Hollywood ♪♪
255
00:14:00,628 --> 00:14:02,728
Hello, little girl.
256
00:14:04,770 --> 00:14:07,132
Wanna make a movie?
257
00:14:07,215 --> 00:14:08,847
[wheezy laughter]
258
00:14:10,261 --> 00:14:13,604
Uh, Harry Hollywood, would you
mind leaving Sunset and Vine
259
00:14:13,687 --> 00:14:14,787
and going back to your seat?
260
00:14:14,788 --> 00:14:16,615
I mean, we're about
to start class.
261
00:14:16,631 --> 00:14:19,787
Ready anytime you say, C.B.
262
00:14:23,544 --> 00:14:26,910
Listen, we'll have
lunch someday...
263
00:14:26,910 --> 00:14:28,891
...chicky baby.
264
00:14:34,954 --> 00:14:37,290
♪ I don't care
what the white man say ♪
265
00:14:37,373 --> 00:14:40,119
♪ Santa Claus
was a black man ♪
266
00:14:40,202 --> 00:14:42,426
♪ I don't care
what the white man say ♪
267
00:14:42,509 --> 00:14:45,889
♪ Santa Claus
was a black man ♪♪
268
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:47,235
Alright, Freddie,
what's your trip?
269
00:14:47,318 --> 00:14:51,540
No trip. Just good health
nature's way.
270
00:14:51,606 --> 00:14:55,752
A natural life of raisins,
seeds, carrots.
271
00:14:55,835 --> 00:14:58,337
I got the kola nut.
272
00:15:01,314 --> 00:15:04,859
With a side order of ribs,
chitlin and potato salad.
273
00:15:04,859 --> 00:15:07,044
Ham hocks and collard greens.
274
00:15:07,044 --> 00:15:09,947
And I'll wash it down
with some Kool-Aid.
275
00:15:11,650 --> 00:15:13,565
I don't live
to be a hundred.
276
00:15:13,648 --> 00:15:16,128
Terrific, you'll still be
in the 11th grade.
277
00:15:16,192 --> 00:15:18,416
♪ I don't care
what the white man say ♪
278
00:15:18,499 --> 00:15:21,610
♪ Santa Claus is
a black man ♪
279
00:15:25,506 --> 00:15:29,949
♪ I'm singing
ba-ba-ba-ba-Barbarino ♪
280
00:15:30,032 --> 00:15:33,518
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-Barbarino ♪
281
00:15:33,601 --> 00:15:36,260
♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-Barbarino ♪
282
00:15:36,343 --> 00:15:38,395
♪ You got me rockin'
and a-reelin' ♪
283
00:15:38,478 --> 00:15:40,963
♪ And a-bobbin'
and a-weelin' Barbarino ♪
284
00:15:41,046 --> 00:15:42,573
♪ You got me rockin'
and a-reelin' ♪
285
00:15:42,656 --> 00:15:45,185
♪ And a-bobbin'
and a-wheelin' Barbarino ♪
286
00:15:45,268 --> 00:15:48,988
♪ You got me rockin
You got me reelin' ♪
287
00:15:50,055 --> 00:15:52,688
♪ Barbarino yeah-yeah ♪♪
288
00:16:01,410 --> 00:16:03,468
How do you like my song?
289
00:16:03,551 --> 00:16:05,775
It's got a good beat
but you can't dance to it.
290
00:16:05,858 --> 00:16:07,951
I'll give it a 35.
291
00:16:08,034 --> 00:16:09,063
[bell ringing]
292
00:16:09,146 --> 00:16:10,606
Sit down.
293
00:16:11,468 --> 00:16:13,470
Alright, show-and-tell
is over, come on.
294
00:16:13,553 --> 00:16:15,989
Everybody, get in.
Let's get to work.
295
00:16:16,018 --> 00:16:19,662
Epstein, why don't you, uh,
float back into your chair?
296
00:16:24,578 --> 00:16:27,407
[Kotter] Alright, now.
297
00:16:27,490 --> 00:16:30,254
Yesterday, Bambi said she
liked guys from California.
298
00:16:30,274 --> 00:16:33,234
And today you're all
Troy Donahue.
299
00:16:33,317 --> 00:16:35,145
Can we start working
on social studies?
300
00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:37,964
Anything you say, Gabsy.
301
00:16:39,306 --> 00:16:41,982
Alright, look,
don't call me Gabsy.
302
00:16:42,065 --> 00:16:45,112
Oh, you're right.
It doesn't fit you at all.
303
00:16:45,195 --> 00:16:48,916
I'm gonna call you,
Captain Cosmic.
304
00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:53,682
On second thought,
call me Gabsy.
305
00:16:55,148 --> 00:16:59,359
You know, when I'm
with you I feel...
306
00:16:59,442 --> 00:17:03,568
...all spacey
and far out weird.
307
00:17:03,651 --> 00:17:07,811
You know,
when I'm with you, I feel
308
00:17:07,895 --> 00:17:12,138
all far out spacey
and weird, Gabsy.
309
00:17:12,671 --> 00:17:15,521
[laughing]
310
00:17:17,126 --> 00:17:19,225
Sit down, Bambi.
311
00:17:19,888 --> 00:17:21,349
Alright, Juansy.
312
00:17:21,932 --> 00:17:26,870
- Let's get to work, okay?
- Right you are, Gabsy.
313
00:17:27,428 --> 00:17:29,669
[laughing]
314
00:17:30,553 --> 00:17:33,196
Alright, come on. That's it.
315
00:17:33,279 --> 00:17:34,739
Oh, Gabsy.
316
00:17:36,019 --> 00:17:39,080
You're so cute
when you're angry.
317
00:17:39,163 --> 00:17:41,904
Isn't he cute?
318
00:17:42,435 --> 00:17:44,850
[indistinct chattering]
319
00:17:45,985 --> 00:17:48,529
Stop it. Stop it!
320
00:17:48,612 --> 00:17:50,484
Bambi, come outside
with me for a minute.
321
00:17:50,484 --> 00:17:51,674
Dynamite!
322
00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:53,925
[all hooting] Wooh!
323
00:17:54,008 --> 00:17:58,786
Hey, uh, um, um,
Gabsy, Gabsy.
324
00:17:58,786 --> 00:18:01,428
You better take some vitamin-E
'cause you're not as young
325
00:18:01,511 --> 00:18:03,610
as you used to be.
326
00:18:08,542 --> 00:18:11,124
Bambi, I want this nonsense
stopped right now.
327
00:18:11,207 --> 00:18:13,004
What nonsense, Gabsy?
328
00:18:13,087 --> 00:18:15,870
Look, don't call me Gabsy.
I'm your teacher.
329
00:18:15,954 --> 00:18:18,238
My name is Mr. Kotter.
330
00:18:18,238 --> 00:18:20,155
You don't
have to get all huffy.
331
00:18:20,238 --> 00:18:23,003
I thought you, uh... liked me.
332
00:18:23,086 --> 00:18:26,022
Stop. Get back. Back. Back.
333
00:18:29,666 --> 00:18:31,867
Sit down over there.
334
00:18:32,411 --> 00:18:34,065
Bambi, I went to
the administration office
335
00:18:34,135 --> 00:18:36,115
this morning
and I got your records.
336
00:18:36,198 --> 00:18:38,461
Seems that you're
not from California at all.
337
00:18:38,544 --> 00:18:40,633
You're originally
form Lubbock, Texas.
338
00:18:40,708 --> 00:18:43,169
And you cause trouble
wherever you go.
339
00:18:43,253 --> 00:18:44,862
Went to school in Wyoming.
340
00:18:44,916 --> 00:18:47,440
You alone, caused
a small scale range war
341
00:18:47,522 --> 00:18:51,666
between the cattlemen
and the sheepmen.
342
00:18:51,918 --> 00:18:55,302
Oh, Mr. Kotter, there are a lot
of things my records don't say.
343
00:18:55,385 --> 00:18:56,185
Like what?
344
00:18:56,266 --> 00:18:58,225
Like along with 11 schools came
345
00:18:58,308 --> 00:18:59,990
about 11 different relatives
346
00:19:00,070 --> 00:19:02,029
I got shuffled around to.
347
00:19:02,052 --> 00:19:04,334
And then there were also
a lot of foster homes.
348
00:19:04,334 --> 00:19:06,032
Nobody ever cared.
349
00:19:06,116 --> 00:19:08,178
Especially my mother,
who couldn't wait
350
00:19:08,178 --> 00:19:10,013
to get rid of me.
351
00:19:13,100 --> 00:19:17,184
Alright. Look, I understand,
it hasn't been easy.
352
00:19:17,267 --> 00:19:18,387
What I'm just trying
to tell ya is
353
00:19:18,387 --> 00:19:19,686
you don't have to put
on this big act
354
00:19:19,769 --> 00:19:21,869
to be liked.
355
00:19:22,626 --> 00:19:26,687
I'm only giving 'em
what they want, Gabsy.
356
00:19:26,771 --> 00:19:30,078
It's not what they want.
It's not what anybody wants.
357
00:19:30,161 --> 00:19:32,145
Bambi, that's not
the way to make friends.
358
00:19:32,165 --> 00:19:35,299
You have all these guys
bananas over you.
359
00:19:35,311 --> 00:19:38,016
What's gonna happen in 10 years
when you're not 16 anymore?
360
00:19:38,016 --> 00:19:40,147
Or in 20 years,
when you're 36, 40?
361
00:19:40,148 --> 00:19:43,164
You're not so cute anymore,
the friends you're making now
362
00:19:43,247 --> 00:19:46,270
are not the
kind of friends that last.
363
00:19:50,530 --> 00:19:54,120
While you're swallowing,
try to think about what I said.
364
00:19:56,578 --> 00:20:00,841
Alright.
I thought about it.
365
00:20:06,362 --> 00:20:07,822
Hi, boys.
366
00:20:08,353 --> 00:20:12,552
Could you get little, ol' me
my pencil? I forgot it.
367
00:20:12,972 --> 00:20:15,170
[all] I got it.
368
00:20:17,586 --> 00:20:20,165
I got it! I got it!
I got it!
369
00:20:20,248 --> 00:20:21,708
Freeze. Freeze.
370
00:20:25,384 --> 00:20:27,379
Look at them, Bambi, huh.
371
00:20:27,463 --> 00:20:31,166
Not a pretty picture, is it?
372
00:20:31,249 --> 00:20:34,839
Get out of my desk.
Come on, sit down. Sit down.
373
00:20:35,676 --> 00:20:38,015
You're gonna
clean all this up.
374
00:20:38,099 --> 00:20:40,198
Sit down, Epstein.
375
00:20:41,662 --> 00:20:43,925
Alright, Bambi,
it's your decision to make.
376
00:20:44,008 --> 00:20:45,888
You wanna cause chaos
wherever you go?
377
00:20:45,971 --> 00:20:48,865
Or do you wanna
make real friends?
378
00:20:56,212 --> 00:20:57,672
Uh... look...
379
00:21:00,302 --> 00:21:04,509
...I-I've been doing a number
on all of you and, um
380
00:21:04,569 --> 00:21:07,985
I'd like
to apologize for that.
381
00:21:09,094 --> 00:21:11,796
I... lied.
382
00:21:12,258 --> 00:21:15,283
I'm not from California.
383
00:21:15,923 --> 00:21:18,305
I'm not from anywhere.
384
00:21:18,846 --> 00:21:23,221
I just wanted you all
to like me and, um...
385
00:21:24,052 --> 00:21:28,340
I guess I just
started trouble again.
386
00:21:30,226 --> 00:21:31,686
I'm sorry.
387
00:21:32,709 --> 00:21:34,690
Hey, look.
388
00:21:35,311 --> 00:21:37,991
It's not all your fault.
389
00:21:38,074 --> 00:21:40,834
You see, sometimes women
have to do dumb things
390
00:21:40,917 --> 00:21:44,506
especially when men
start acting like idiots.
391
00:21:46,061 --> 00:21:48,124
Well, I ain't
gonna be eating no more
392
00:21:48,124 --> 00:21:50,664
of these organic raisins.
393
00:21:53,528 --> 00:21:56,465
They go right through you.
394
00:21:59,369 --> 00:22:03,271
Better take this towel
back to my gym locker.
395
00:22:03,354 --> 00:22:06,791
Second thought, I better
take it home and get it washed.
396
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:11,821
What am I doing
with a surfboard in Brooklyn?
397
00:22:11,904 --> 00:22:14,062
I mean, I could've got
a terrific tie
398
00:22:14,146 --> 00:22:17,998
that glows in the dark
and said Italian power.
399
00:22:19,792 --> 00:22:21,252
Bambi.
400
00:22:23,076 --> 00:22:26,709
Does this mean
I don't got no aura no more?
401
00:22:27,774 --> 00:22:31,370
No, Arnold.
You still have your aura.
402
00:22:31,454 --> 00:22:33,553
And it's beautiful.
403
00:22:33,718 --> 00:22:37,307
Maybe your aura can glow
in the dark like Vinnie's tie.
404
00:22:38,243 --> 00:22:40,306
Everybody, attention please.
405
00:22:40,389 --> 00:22:42,871
We've a new student
I'd like to introduce you to
406
00:22:42,954 --> 00:22:45,055
from Lubbock, Texas.
407
00:22:45,959 --> 00:22:47,419
Uh, hello.
408
00:22:47,582 --> 00:22:50,561
My name is
Bambi Forrester and, uh
409
00:22:50,644 --> 00:22:52,907
I hope we can all be friends.
410
00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:55,267
[indistinct chattering]
411
00:22:55,350 --> 00:22:56,693
Well, now that we got that
out of the way
412
00:22:56,693 --> 00:22:58,755
what do you say,
we get to social studies?
413
00:22:58,755 --> 00:23:02,976
[giggling] You're so funny, Mr. Kotter.
414
00:23:03,044 --> 00:23:06,559
I just love, W.C. Fields.
415
00:23:06,642 --> 00:23:09,144
♪ Welcome back... ♪♪
416
00:23:10,515 --> 00:23:12,974
[theme music]
417
00:23:19,682 --> 00:23:22,585
Did I ever tell you
about my Uncle Herby?
418
00:23:24,227 --> 00:23:25,648
No.
419
00:23:25,731 --> 00:23:28,167
But you probably will.
420
00:23:28,251 --> 00:23:30,651
Okay, my Uncle Herby
likes to drink a lot, right?
421
00:23:30,734 --> 00:23:32,954
He comes home one night
and my Aunt Estelle
422
00:23:32,976 --> 00:23:34,517
thinks she's gonna
teach him a lesson.
423
00:23:34,537 --> 00:23:36,396
She runs into the closet,
puts on a sheet
424
00:23:36,479 --> 00:23:38,942
and starts running
around the bedroom and says
425
00:23:38,962 --> 00:23:42,903
"You better stop drinking,
you better stop drinking."
426
00:23:42,986 --> 00:23:46,593
"Oh boy, you better
stop drinking."
427
00:23:46,677 --> 00:23:48,112
He says, "Who're you?"
428
00:23:48,196 --> 00:23:52,070
She says, "I'm the devil,
you better stop drinking."
429
00:23:52,153 --> 00:23:55,107
"Shake hands.
I married your sister."
430
00:23:55,136 --> 00:23:57,986
♪ Welcome back... ♪♪
431
00:24:01,708 --> 00:24:03,810
[John Sebastian singing "Welcome back, Kotter"]
432
00:24:07,932 --> 00:24:10,808
♪ Welcome back ♪
433
00:24:10,891 --> 00:24:14,508
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
434
00:24:14,591 --> 00:24:16,727
♪ Welcome back ♪
435
00:24:16,810 --> 00:24:21,515
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
436
00:24:21,598 --> 00:24:25,910
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around
437
00:24:25,993 --> 00:24:27,956
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
438
00:24:28,039 --> 00:24:30,436
♪ And they've turned around ♪
439
00:24:30,519 --> 00:24:32,700
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
440
00:24:32,783 --> 00:24:34,310
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
441
00:24:34,393 --> 00:24:36,399
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
442
00:24:36,482 --> 00:24:38,575
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
443
00:24:38,658 --> 00:24:40,708
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
444
00:24:40,791 --> 00:24:42,753
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
445
00:24:42,836 --> 00:24:45,016
♪ Welcome back ♪
446
00:24:45,099 --> 00:24:47,149
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
447
00:24:47,232 --> 00:24:49,238
♪ Welcome back ♪
448
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:51,501
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
449
00:24:51,584 --> 00:24:53,721
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
450
00:24:53,804 --> 00:24:55,897
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
451
00:24:55,980 --> 00:24:57,986
♪ 'Cause we've
got him on the spot ♪
452
00:24:58,069 --> 00:25:00,249
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
453
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,381
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
454
00:25:02,464 --> 00:25:04,553
♪ 'Cause we've
got him on the spot ♪♪
33275
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