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1
00:00:02,852 --> 00:00:06,132
No. But I have a feeling
I'm gonna hear all about it.
2
00:00:06,215 --> 00:00:09,538
Yes, 'cause I know that you
really want to, deep inside.
3
00:00:09,621 --> 00:00:11,220
She's taking driving lessons
the instructor
4
00:00:11,303 --> 00:00:12,625
is sitting on his side right?
5
00:00:12,625 --> 00:00:14,989
First of all, she's puts her
hand out the window like this.
6
00:00:15,009 --> 00:00:18,889
Then she goes like this.
And then she goes like this.
7
00:00:18,972 --> 00:00:20,434
Why did she do that?
8
00:00:20,517 --> 00:00:23,098
That's just what
the instructor said!
9
00:00:23,181 --> 00:00:24,921
"Lucile, why did
you do that?"
10
00:00:25,004 --> 00:00:27,209
She said, "Well first,
I was gonna turn left.
11
00:00:27,292 --> 00:00:29,278
"Then I decided
to make a right turn.
12
00:00:29,314 --> 00:00:33,018
Then I decided not to turn,
so I erased the whole thing."
13
00:00:37,038 --> 00:00:39,696
[male narrator] "Welcome Back Kotter"
is recorded live on tape
14
00:00:39,779 --> 00:00:41,611
before a studio audience.
15
00:00:41,694 --> 00:00:45,110
[theme music]
16
00:00:48,919 --> 00:00:51,795
♪ Welcome back ♪
17
00:00:51,878 --> 00:00:55,582
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
18
00:00:55,665 --> 00:00:57,845
♪ Welcome back ♪
19
00:00:57,928 --> 00:01:00,021
♪ To that same old place ♪
20
00:01:00,104 --> 00:01:02,502
♪ That you laughed about ♪
21
00:01:02,585 --> 00:01:04,808
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
22
00:01:04,891 --> 00:01:07,064
♪ Since you hung around ♪
23
00:01:07,147 --> 00:01:09,371
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
24
00:01:09,454 --> 00:01:11,677
♪ And they've turned around ♪
25
00:01:11,760 --> 00:01:13,897
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
26
00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:15,507
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
27
00:01:15,590 --> 00:01:17,553
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
28
00:01:17,636 --> 00:01:19,816
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
29
00:01:19,899 --> 00:01:24,124
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
30
00:01:24,207 --> 00:01:26,083
♪ Welcome back ♪
31
00:01:26,166 --> 00:01:28,346
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
32
00:01:28,429 --> 00:01:30,566
♪ Welcome back ♪
33
00:01:30,649 --> 00:01:32,916
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
34
00:01:32,999 --> 00:01:35,240
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
35
00:01:38,874 --> 00:01:40,334
Okay, yeah.
36
00:01:40,858 --> 00:01:43,730
I'll tell him as soon
as he comes out, uh-hah.
37
00:01:43,782 --> 00:01:45,741
Yeah, 6:00 will be fine.
38
00:01:45,824 --> 00:01:50,370
I am looking forward to meeting
you and Mary Francis too.
39
00:01:50,451 --> 00:01:53,127
Okay, yeah,
I'll see you later, buh-bye.
40
00:02:00,770 --> 00:02:03,569
Honey, you will never
guess who just called.
41
00:02:03,652 --> 00:02:05,375
Sorry I don't have time.
I'm late, Julie.
42
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:08,438
Come on, guess who's
comin' to dinner?
43
00:02:08,521 --> 00:02:10,625
Okay.
What're you cooking?
44
00:02:10,708 --> 00:02:13,570
My world famous
tuna casserole.
45
00:02:13,653 --> 00:02:16,289
It's nobody that
we ever wanna see again.
46
00:02:18,299 --> 00:02:19,862
That's very cute.
47
00:02:19,945 --> 00:02:21,605
I'll give you a hint.
48
00:02:21,688 --> 00:02:25,734
I can't wait to see
old Gabby Gabe again.
49
00:02:26,479 --> 00:02:27,800
Say that again.
50
00:02:27,883 --> 00:02:32,487
I can't wait to see
old Gabby Gabe again, come on.
51
00:02:32,570 --> 00:02:35,573
- Lyle Flannigan is coming here?
- You guessed.
52
00:02:35,656 --> 00:02:40,023
- Boy, did he sound nice.
- Of course he sounded nice.
53
00:02:40,043 --> 00:02:41,697
Lyle Flannigan
was the nicest boy
54
00:02:41,764 --> 00:02:43,462
who ever went to Buchanan.
55
00:02:43,508 --> 00:02:47,352
He's so nice, he would help
old ladies cross their legs.
56
00:02:49,806 --> 00:02:52,710
Gabe.
You should be happy.
57
00:02:52,793 --> 00:02:55,796
You haven't seen
Lyle Flannigan in ten years.
58
00:02:55,876 --> 00:02:56,995
Julie...
59
00:02:57,078 --> 00:02:59,297
...did it ever occur
to you that if you haven't
60
00:02:59,380 --> 00:03:01,773
seen someone for ten years...
61
00:03:01,823 --> 00:03:05,631
...chances are it's
because you don't want to?
62
00:03:07,449 --> 00:03:10,369
Now I find out that while
I'm in the bathroom shaving
63
00:03:10,452 --> 00:03:12,371
my wife, that's you
64
00:03:12,454 --> 00:03:15,675
invites a Lyle Flannigan
to dinner.
65
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:19,480
You're mad at me?
66
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:22,224
Julie, I'm not mad at you.
67
00:03:22,306 --> 00:03:25,110
I just don't wanna have
Lyle Flannigan over for dinner.
68
00:03:25,130 --> 00:03:28,233
Well, what's wrong
with Lyle Flannigan?
69
00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:30,370
You wanna know what's wrong
with Lyle Flannigan?
70
00:03:30,453 --> 00:03:32,543
I'll tell you what's
wrong with Lyle Flannigan.
71
00:03:32,618 --> 00:03:34,917
There's nothing wrong
with Lyle Flannigan.
72
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,480
That's what's wrong
with Lyle Flannigan.
73
00:03:37,563 --> 00:03:40,783
Lyle Flannigan is perfect.
74
00:03:40,866 --> 00:03:42,268
You ever know a kid
who went through school
75
00:03:42,268 --> 00:03:44,508
without a pimple, a blemish?
76
00:03:45,431 --> 00:03:47,992
I would even settle
for a wort.
77
00:03:49,538 --> 00:03:51,080
We were on the
basketball team together.
78
00:03:51,163 --> 00:03:53,411
Lyle Flannigan used
to score 30 points a game
79
00:03:53,411 --> 00:03:55,515
and he would never sweat.
80
00:03:56,320 --> 00:04:00,291
I was second string, I used
to sit on the bench and sweat.
81
00:04:00,898 --> 00:04:03,781
The only person that was
as bad as Lyle Flannigan
82
00:04:03,864 --> 00:04:07,648
was that Miss Personality
cheerleader he used to date uh...
83
00:04:07,731 --> 00:04:09,335
If her name is Mary Francis
84
00:04:09,335 --> 00:04:12,476
it's gonna be old home week
around here tonight.
85
00:04:12,559 --> 00:04:13,781
That figures.
86
00:04:13,864 --> 00:04:15,945
I knew that those two
were gonna get married.
87
00:04:16,028 --> 00:04:17,611
They looked so nice
they probably stood
88
00:04:17,611 --> 00:04:19,446
on their own wedding cake.
89
00:04:20,978 --> 00:04:23,782
Well, maybe they're
not so nice anymore.
90
00:04:24,399 --> 00:04:27,686
Julie, Lyle Flannigan
is not a bad guy.
91
00:04:27,770 --> 00:04:30,255
He's not mean,
he's not hostile.
92
00:04:30,255 --> 00:04:32,859
Throughout school,
he always acted superior.
93
00:04:32,942 --> 00:04:35,164
- And you wanna know somethin'?
- What?
94
00:04:35,247 --> 00:04:36,423
He was.
95
00:04:36,506 --> 00:04:38,512
Well, what're
you gonna do?
96
00:04:38,595 --> 00:04:40,017
While I'm at school today
97
00:04:40,017 --> 00:04:41,719
working with my students...
98
00:04:41,802 --> 00:04:43,302
...move.
99
00:04:49,176 --> 00:04:51,025
[bell ringing]
100
00:04:59,253 --> 00:05:01,146
[Arnold laughing]
101
00:05:05,818 --> 00:05:07,722
Alright, Arnold,
get out here.
102
00:05:07,723 --> 00:05:09,726
[laughing]
103
00:05:10,665 --> 00:05:13,731
Pretty, clever,
eh, Mr. Kotter?
104
00:05:15,312 --> 00:05:18,349
I thought this up
all by myself this morning.
105
00:05:18,433 --> 00:05:19,734
Not today,
alright, Arnold?
106
00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:22,039
Someday we'll discuss the
history of the whoopee cushion
107
00:05:22,122 --> 00:05:25,017
and the dribble glass,
but not today.
108
00:05:27,049 --> 00:05:28,508
Alright, Sweathogs.
109
00:05:28,651 --> 00:05:30,958
Another day,
another dollar.
110
00:05:31,041 --> 00:05:32,517
Let's get right to work.
111
00:05:32,601 --> 00:05:33,842
[Kotter] Book reports.
112
00:05:33,926 --> 00:05:36,525
Mr. Kotter,
what does that mean?
113
00:05:36,609 --> 00:05:39,230
"Another day,
another dollar."
114
00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:42,013
Well, Vinnie, in the case
of teachers it comes very close
115
00:05:42,096 --> 00:05:44,555
to being a
financial statement.
116
00:05:46,438 --> 00:05:47,599
Book reports.
117
00:05:47,682 --> 00:05:49,282
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
118
00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,722
Mr. Epstein.
119
00:05:50,806 --> 00:05:53,806
Couldn't you get
rich bein' a teacher?
120
00:05:53,890 --> 00:05:57,628
Epstein, I have enough money to
last me for the rest of my life.
121
00:05:57,712 --> 00:05:58,495
[Juan] Uh-huh.
122
00:05:58,496 --> 00:06:00,736
Unless I wanna
buy something.
123
00:06:02,912 --> 00:06:04,013
- Why?
- Huh?
124
00:06:04,096 --> 00:06:05,696
Oh, I was thinkin' about
bein' a teacher, you know?
125
00:06:05,779 --> 00:06:07,661
But if there's not
enough bucks in it...
126
00:06:07,661 --> 00:06:09,981
...why be a sap, huh?
127
00:06:09,982 --> 00:06:11,361
[all laughing]
128
00:06:11,444 --> 00:06:13,683
No, I think
I'm gonna be a street sweeper.
129
00:06:13,766 --> 00:06:14,866
It's says here, you know, uh...
130
00:06:14,866 --> 00:06:17,183
...you can make
18,000 bucks a year.
131
00:06:17,267 --> 00:06:18,128
- Where?
- Right here.
132
00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:19,929
- 18,000 bucks a year--
- Alright, look.
133
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,471
Don't bring
papers into class.
134
00:06:27,618 --> 00:06:29,760
That's in San Francisco.
135
00:06:29,844 --> 00:06:31,982
That's where they have
all those earthquakes.
136
00:06:32,065 --> 00:06:33,845
They should get paid
that much they gotta sweep
137
00:06:33,928 --> 00:06:36,672
buildings up off the streets.
138
00:06:36,872 --> 00:06:39,070
Alright, quit the stalling.
Book reports.
139
00:06:39,154 --> 00:06:41,497
One last question.
140
00:06:42,315 --> 00:06:43,296
Okay, Freddie.
141
00:06:43,380 --> 00:06:45,342
But make it simple
and make it quick.
142
00:06:45,362 --> 00:06:46,822
Mr. Kotter...
143
00:06:49,146 --> 00:06:50,565
...what is...
144
00:06:50,648 --> 00:06:51,907
...the meaning...
145
00:06:51,990 --> 00:06:53,666
...of life?
146
00:06:57,196 --> 00:06:59,296
[Chinese accent] Ah, sweathopper...
147
00:07:01,154 --> 00:07:03,734
...you ask the meaning of life?
148
00:07:03,818 --> 00:07:07,541
You must go to
Epstein's gym locker.
149
00:07:09,504 --> 00:07:10,946
Open it up.
150
00:07:11,029 --> 00:07:13,139
Take one deep breath.
151
00:07:15,375 --> 00:07:17,335
If you will survive that...
152
00:07:17,418 --> 00:07:19,963
...you will survive anything.
153
00:07:31,234 --> 00:07:33,083
Alright, let's go.
Book reports.
154
00:07:33,517 --> 00:07:35,779
I got one, master.
155
00:07:38,623 --> 00:07:40,083
"Book report.
156
00:07:41,426 --> 00:07:43,166
"The Arabian Nights...
157
00:07:43,249 --> 00:07:44,709
"...Adventure,1942.
158
00:07:45,564 --> 00:07:46,609
"Black and white.
159
00:07:46,692 --> 00:07:48,150
Ahem!
160
00:07:49,096 --> 00:07:50,174
"Two brothers
161
00:07:50,257 --> 00:07:52,117
"Jon Hall and Leif Erickson
162
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,179
"fight over a throne
163
00:07:54,262 --> 00:07:55,701
"Maria Montez
164
00:07:55,784 --> 00:07:56,967
"Sabu
165
00:07:57,050 --> 00:07:58,143
"Turhan Bey.
166
00:07:58,227 --> 00:07:59,684
"90 minutes
167
00:07:59,850 --> 00:08:01,350
Repeat."
168
00:08:06,351 --> 00:08:07,812
How was the movie?
169
00:08:07,895 --> 00:08:08,876
Oh, it was wonderful.
170
00:08:08,876 --> 00:08:11,639
Sabu and the elephant
lived happily ever after.
171
00:08:12,598 --> 00:08:15,139
[Vinnie] Mr. Kotter,
I got my book report.
172
00:08:15,222 --> 00:08:17,322
[Kotter] Oh, another surprise.
173
00:08:29,356 --> 00:08:31,456
"Trailer Park Cutie.
174
00:08:34,101 --> 00:08:36,201
"By Miss M.
175
00:08:37,090 --> 00:08:39,897
"An original
nightstand classic.
176
00:08:42,276 --> 00:08:43,234
"Monica knew
177
00:08:43,317 --> 00:08:46,661
"that one man was too much.
178
00:08:46,807 --> 00:08:48,286
"Yet, ten were not enough."
179
00:08:48,369 --> 00:08:49,982
[students cheering]
180
00:08:50,065 --> 00:08:51,805
That's enough, Vinnie.
181
00:08:51,888 --> 00:08:53,989
"She awoke in
the morning glistened--"
182
00:08:54,072 --> 00:08:55,532
Alright.
183
00:08:56,462 --> 00:08:58,672
I don't care
about her glistenin'.
184
00:08:58,755 --> 00:09:02,563
Next time you bring a book
report in a plain brown wrapper.
185
00:09:03,738 --> 00:09:05,818
[students cheering]
186
00:09:05,901 --> 00:09:07,689
[Kotter] That's enough.
187
00:09:07,772 --> 00:09:09,232
Enough.
188
00:09:09,915 --> 00:09:12,458
Sometimes I wonder why I bother
with you people at all.
189
00:09:12,541 --> 00:09:15,264
Don't you like
teaching us, Mr. Kotter?
190
00:09:16,623 --> 00:09:18,265
I love teaching, Arnold.
191
00:09:18,348 --> 00:09:20,551
Teaching is
my chosen profession.
192
00:09:20,551 --> 00:09:22,490
But there are days
like today when all I am
193
00:09:22,573 --> 00:09:25,173
is a straight man
for Sweathogs.
194
00:09:25,256 --> 00:09:27,763
I might as well have
become a door to door salesman.
195
00:09:27,846 --> 00:09:30,041
Oh! Oh! Oh!
196
00:09:30,124 --> 00:09:31,584
Oh! Oh!
197
00:09:32,997 --> 00:09:35,222
[Kotter] Did you wanna
say something, Arnold?
198
00:09:35,305 --> 00:09:38,750
My Uncle Murray was
a door to door salesman.
199
00:09:38,833 --> 00:09:42,054
It finally drove him crazy.
200
00:09:48,643 --> 00:09:52,508
Okay, Arnold.
How come it drove him crazy?
201
00:09:52,591 --> 00:09:54,712
He sold doors.
202
00:09:56,257 --> 00:09:59,941
Every day he would go
to a house and knock on one.
203
00:10:00,024 --> 00:10:02,575
[knocking]
204
00:10:02,658 --> 00:10:04,940
But he knew he wasn't
gonna make a sale.
205
00:10:04,940 --> 00:10:07,137
[laughing]
206
00:10:14,991 --> 00:10:17,769
Hey, Mr. Kotter,
what's buggin' you, huh?
207
00:10:17,852 --> 00:10:19,853
- What's buggin' you?
- You wanna know?
208
00:10:19,936 --> 00:10:21,933
Okay, I'm gonna tell you
what's buggin' me.
209
00:10:22,016 --> 00:10:23,498
I have a bad case...
210
00:10:23,498 --> 00:10:25,391
...of Lyle Flannigan.
211
00:10:28,222 --> 00:10:30,310
When did you first notice
that something was wrong
212
00:10:30,364 --> 00:10:31,845
with your Flannigan?
213
00:10:31,845 --> 00:10:33,651
[all laughing]
214
00:10:35,343 --> 00:10:37,126
Lyle Flannigan
is a person, Freddie.
215
00:10:37,208 --> 00:10:39,452
We went to school
here together.
216
00:10:39,535 --> 00:10:43,017
Well, come on, Mr. Kotter,
why don't you tell us about him?
217
00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:44,883
There's nothing to tell.
We went school together.
218
00:10:44,883 --> 00:10:46,564
We were on the
basketball team together.
219
00:10:46,647 --> 00:10:48,229
Now I heard he's makin'
a million dollars.
220
00:10:48,229 --> 00:10:50,511
He's in a big office building
with 18 secretaries
221
00:10:50,594 --> 00:10:52,735
and I'm back here
where I started.
222
00:10:52,818 --> 00:10:54,130
Don't you find teaching
223
00:10:54,160 --> 00:10:57,884
a rewarding
experience, Mr. Kotter?
224
00:10:57,967 --> 00:10:59,168
Aren't you happy with us?
225
00:10:59,251 --> 00:11:02,151
Yeah, you didn't have
to be a teacher, Mr. Kotter.
226
00:11:02,234 --> 00:11:04,334
Mr. Kotter, you could've made
yourself a whole lot of money.
227
00:11:05,014 --> 00:11:06,215
That's right, Freddie,
I could've.
228
00:11:06,298 --> 00:11:08,561
I mean, I had plenty
of opportunities.
229
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:09,938
Heather Weintraub's
father wanted me
230
00:11:10,021 --> 00:11:11,937
to go into the funeral biz.
231
00:11:12,020 --> 00:11:16,045
- As Heather used to call it.
- Well, why didn't you do it?
232
00:11:16,087 --> 00:11:19,589
Because Heather looked like
she modeled for the caskets.
233
00:11:21,953 --> 00:11:23,512
You know, Mr. Kotter...
234
00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:27,357
...I get the distinct impression
that you are not happy.
235
00:11:28,610 --> 00:11:32,010
Why shouldn't I be happy?
So far it's been a terrific day.
236
00:11:32,093 --> 00:11:34,417
First of all, I wake up late,
second of all, my wife...
237
00:11:34,500 --> 00:11:36,881
...cooks me orange juice
for breakfast.
238
00:11:36,964 --> 00:11:38,884
Then she invites somebody
I haven't seen in ten years
239
00:11:38,967 --> 00:11:40,881
who I don't want to see
to dinner.
240
00:11:40,890 --> 00:11:42,072
Then I come to school
241
00:11:42,072 --> 00:11:45,876
and Arnold Horshack has me
chasing a wallet down the hall.
242
00:11:46,086 --> 00:11:48,022
[imitating Arnold laughing]
243
00:11:53,548 --> 00:11:55,572
And after that nobody's
done their book report.
244
00:11:55,655 --> 00:11:58,537
Epstein was up till 2 o'clock
in the morning with Sabu.
245
00:11:58,620 --> 00:12:01,818
[imitating Epstein] "Maria Montez, repeat.
246
00:12:01,901 --> 00:12:03,504
[Kotter] Barbarino did
a book report too.
247
00:12:03,587 --> 00:12:06,187
[imitating Barbarino]
"Trailer Park Cutie"
by Miss M.
248
00:12:06,270 --> 00:12:09,109
"Monica knew that
ten men were not enough.
249
00:12:09,192 --> 00:12:10,894
But a 100 was too many."
250
00:12:10,977 --> 00:12:12,458
And Freddie wants to know
251
00:12:12,458 --> 00:12:14,699
why Mr. Kotter
252
00:12:14,782 --> 00:12:16,943
ain't makin'
$18,000 a year
253
00:12:17,026 --> 00:12:19,349
like some street sweeper
in San Francisco.
254
00:12:19,349 --> 00:12:22,030
Now I got seven more classes
I got to go through today.
255
00:12:22,113 --> 00:12:23,599
Then I go to go home
256
00:12:23,682 --> 00:12:27,345
and have tuna casserole, blah!
257
00:12:27,346 --> 00:12:29,050
With Captain No Pimple
and his wife
258
00:12:29,051 --> 00:12:31,599
Sister Mary Pom-Pom!
259
00:12:31,682 --> 00:12:34,009
♪ Welcome back ♪
260
00:12:34,092 --> 00:12:35,984
♪ Your dreams were your... ♪♪
261
00:12:36,578 --> 00:12:38,039
[Julie] Gabe.
262
00:12:38,421 --> 00:12:39,981
I'm not here.
263
00:12:40,064 --> 00:12:40,964
Aren't you gonna change?
264
00:12:40,964 --> 00:12:42,924
They're gonna be here
any minute.
265
00:12:43,006 --> 00:12:44,697
Hey, look, I
got a great idea.
266
00:12:44,779 --> 00:12:45,645
[knock on door]
267
00:12:45,710 --> 00:12:47,910
- They're here.
- This is my idea.
268
00:12:47,993 --> 00:12:51,917
Make a very thin sandwich
and slide it under the door.
269
00:12:52,845 --> 00:12:54,445
I can't do that.
270
00:12:54,528 --> 00:12:55,749
Can we?
271
00:12:55,828 --> 00:12:57,289
No!
272
00:12:57,693 --> 00:13:00,131
It wouldn't be nice.
Now we gotta be nice.
273
00:13:00,214 --> 00:13:01,636
Lyle and Mary Francis
are comin'
274
00:13:01,655 --> 00:13:04,333
so we're gonna be
nice, nice, nice.
275
00:13:05,916 --> 00:13:07,139
Aah!
276
00:13:07,222 --> 00:13:09,482
I'm a nice guy.
277
00:13:10,886 --> 00:13:12,162
Gabe Kotter?
278
00:13:12,245 --> 00:13:13,789
[laughing]
279
00:13:15,091 --> 00:13:16,610
Mary Francis.
280
00:13:16,693 --> 00:13:19,475
I didn't recognize you
without your pom-poms.
281
00:13:21,167 --> 00:13:22,990
Mary Francis, I'd love
you to meet my wife.
282
00:13:23,073 --> 00:13:25,131
This is Julie,
Mary Francis.
283
00:13:25,214 --> 00:13:26,716
So nice
to meet you.
284
00:13:26,799 --> 00:13:29,788
Gabe has told me so much
about you and Lyle.
285
00:13:29,871 --> 00:13:32,265
Lyle is still
parking his car.
286
00:13:32,348 --> 00:13:34,993
He is so fussy about
that car of his.
287
00:13:34,993 --> 00:13:37,560
I'd hate to tell you
how much it costs.
288
00:13:37,643 --> 00:13:39,672
Well, was there
a lot of traffic?
289
00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:43,363
Fourteen thousand
five hundred dollars.
290
00:13:43,446 --> 00:13:45,395
That's a lot of traffic.
291
00:13:45,478 --> 00:13:48,285
- Let me take your coat, Mary.
- Thank you.
292
00:13:49,758 --> 00:13:50,893
Closet.
293
00:13:50,976 --> 00:13:52,608
[laughing]
294
00:13:54,814 --> 00:13:56,771
Isn't that cute?
295
00:13:56,854 --> 00:13:58,792
[Mary laughing]
296
00:14:01,409 --> 00:14:02,869
- Hello.
- Ah.
297
00:14:03,078 --> 00:14:04,901
I'm Lyle.
And you must be Julie.
298
00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:08,382
You're just as pretty
as you sounded on the phone.
299
00:14:08,465 --> 00:14:10,687
What a nice
thing to say.
300
00:14:10,770 --> 00:14:11,569
Thank you.
301
00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:15,054
- That's my Lyle.
- Gabe, you old son of a gun.
302
00:14:15,054 --> 00:14:16,715
[laughing]
303
00:14:16,798 --> 00:14:18,857
How you doin', Lyle?
304
00:14:18,940 --> 00:14:21,920
Gabe, I don't mind tellin' you
that I'm making a bundle.
305
00:14:22,003 --> 00:14:23,463
A bundle.
306
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,024
You hear that, Julie?
307
00:14:25,107 --> 00:14:27,743
Old Lyle here is in
the bundle business.
308
00:14:29,423 --> 00:14:31,185
- Let me make you a drink.
- Great.
309
00:14:31,268 --> 00:14:34,309
Lyle, Lyle, isn't it sweet
that Gabe still lives
310
00:14:34,392 --> 00:14:36,004
in the old neighborhood?
311
00:14:36,054 --> 00:14:38,308
Oh, I remember what this
neighborhood is like.
312
00:14:38,391 --> 00:14:41,438
That's why I'm glad I found
a spot in front of the building.
313
00:14:41,521 --> 00:14:44,219
Gabe, that car of mine
eats gas like a bus.
314
00:14:44,264 --> 00:14:47,487
And I'd hate to tell you
what I paid for it.
315
00:14:47,570 --> 00:14:49,550
Fourteen thousand
five hundred.
316
00:14:49,948 --> 00:14:53,573
- You've got one too?
- No, ha ha.
317
00:14:53,656 --> 00:14:55,058
The city takes care of my bus.
318
00:14:55,058 --> 00:14:58,530
They lock it up at night so they
can paint over the graffiti.
319
00:14:58,613 --> 00:15:00,207
It's a joke.
320
00:15:00,290 --> 00:15:03,717
He means the bus-bus,
Mary Francis.
321
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,260
Mary Francis.
322
00:15:06,748 --> 00:15:08,928
Oh, Gabe was always
funny, remember?
323
00:15:09,011 --> 00:15:11,317
I mean, Gabe always
had something to say.
324
00:15:11,400 --> 00:15:13,228
That's why we called him
"Gabby Gabe."
325
00:15:13,305 --> 00:15:15,546
Didn't we, Gabby Gabe?
326
00:15:15,727 --> 00:15:16,727
I have nothing to say.
327
00:15:16,810 --> 00:15:18,485
[laughing]
328
00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:20,971
Dinner will be ready
in a few minutes.
329
00:15:21,054 --> 00:15:24,760
Julie, do you know
what I would love?
330
00:15:24,780 --> 00:15:25,679
No.
331
00:15:25,762 --> 00:15:29,090
A tour of the house,
do you mind?
332
00:15:31,711 --> 00:15:33,171
Whose house?
333
00:15:35,013 --> 00:15:36,493
Oh, our house.
334
00:15:36,576 --> 00:15:39,279
[Julie laughing]
335
00:15:39,362 --> 00:15:40,913
This is it.
336
00:15:40,996 --> 00:15:44,603
I'd be delighted to take
you on a tour of the house.
337
00:15:44,604 --> 00:15:45,717
Oh, thank you.
338
00:15:45,755 --> 00:15:49,559
Let us start over here in
our spacious dining room.
339
00:15:50,324 --> 00:15:51,786
This is where visiting
heads of state
340
00:15:51,786 --> 00:15:54,308
have been known
not to show up.
341
00:15:55,353 --> 00:15:58,196
Two steps to the right
and we're in our kitchen which
342
00:15:58,279 --> 00:16:01,543
as you see is decorated
in early munchkin.
343
00:16:02,759 --> 00:16:06,084
Now over here,
this is our spacious foyer.
344
00:16:06,167 --> 00:16:09,510
Try to keep up with
the tour, Mary Francis.
345
00:16:09,593 --> 00:16:11,055
That's my den out there
346
00:16:11,055 --> 00:16:13,479
which is decorated
in early fire escape.
347
00:16:15,543 --> 00:16:17,346
The third one to the right,
you see the one over there
348
00:16:17,346 --> 00:16:19,487
with the racing strips
and the chrome?
349
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:22,232
That's our garbage can.
350
00:16:23,797 --> 00:16:25,677
Which brings us
back to our bedroom
351
00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,723
which your husband
Lyle is sitting on.
352
00:16:30,370 --> 00:16:33,033
Why, it's the most quaint
and charming little apartment
353
00:16:33,033 --> 00:16:35,402
I've ever seen,
isn't it, Ly-Ly?
354
00:16:37,319 --> 00:16:40,256
I can't imagine what we're
doing with five bedrooms.
355
00:16:41,024 --> 00:16:44,461
I can't imagine what you guys
would do in one bedroom.
356
00:16:51,457 --> 00:16:52,699
I mean, you're so busy
357
00:16:52,699 --> 00:16:55,455
I wouldn't think
you had any time to sleep.
358
00:16:55,538 --> 00:16:57,118
Do you have any children?
359
00:16:57,201 --> 00:16:58,661
[laughing] No.
360
00:16:59,778 --> 00:17:01,600
Mary Francis was always
more willing to die
361
00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:03,386
than do anything
to mess up her hair.
362
00:17:03,469 --> 00:17:04,691
[laughing]
363
00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:06,234
Lyle.
364
00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:22,408
Honey, did you send out
for Sweathog delight?
365
00:17:23,407 --> 00:17:27,150
No. We heard about your
famous tuna casserole.
366
00:17:27,234 --> 00:17:29,975
Yeah, we didn't want your
dinner guests goin' hungry.
367
00:17:30,059 --> 00:17:33,120
So we decided to bring
some real food, you know?
368
00:17:33,204 --> 00:17:36,167
A taste of the good life.
369
00:17:36,250 --> 00:17:39,840
Fine food in
a gracious setting.
370
00:17:40,936 --> 00:17:42,938
Is that your car
parked out there?
371
00:17:43,022 --> 00:17:45,085
Yes.
The black one? Yeah.
372
00:17:45,085 --> 00:17:47,229
Well, you better get it outta
here in a hurry, man.
373
00:17:47,249 --> 00:17:49,618
There's a Puerto Rican
family movin' in...
374
00:17:56,113 --> 00:17:59,290
Ah...
They're great kidders, Lyle.
375
00:17:59,373 --> 00:18:02,985
Mr. Kotter, we may kid
around a lot in class
376
00:18:03,061 --> 00:18:04,735
we only do it
'cause we like you.
377
00:18:04,818 --> 00:18:06,422
- Really.
- Yeah.
378
00:18:06,442 --> 00:18:08,574
And we don't wanna
lose you, Mr. Kotter.
379
00:18:08,588 --> 00:18:10,982
Yeah, we want you to see
that you ain't gotta be...
380
00:18:11,054 --> 00:18:14,258
...rich to live big.
381
00:18:16,026 --> 00:18:18,141
Well, thank you.
I appreciate that.
382
00:18:18,225 --> 00:18:20,226
Where'd you guys
get all this stuff?
383
00:18:20,310 --> 00:18:22,888
Yeah, I mean, it looks
like the UN cafeteria.
384
00:18:22,972 --> 00:18:27,106
You see, we told our folks that
you finally got tired of us
385
00:18:27,115 --> 00:18:28,334
and wanted to quit teaching.
386
00:18:28,377 --> 00:18:29,875
So, they sent this stuff over.
387
00:18:29,958 --> 00:18:31,299
As a sort of gratitude
388
00:18:31,299 --> 00:18:33,898
so that you'll know
how much you meant to 'em.
389
00:18:33,981 --> 00:18:35,653
- And us too.
- Yeah.
390
00:18:35,663 --> 00:18:37,822
My mom says to tell
Mr. Kotter anybody who can
391
00:18:37,905 --> 00:18:41,148
keep my Juan at school,
deserves my specialty.
392
00:18:41,167 --> 00:18:43,530
You see, it's a
Puerto Rican Jewish dish.
393
00:18:43,550 --> 00:18:48,793
It's called
gefilte mo-fan-go.
394
00:18:49,126 --> 00:18:51,541
[laughing]
395
00:18:53,305 --> 00:18:55,458
[laughing]
396
00:19:04,335 --> 00:19:06,489
[laughing]
397
00:19:10,696 --> 00:19:14,698
She has the dumbest
laugh I ever heard.
398
00:19:26,186 --> 00:19:29,468
Are you really
a rich person?
399
00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:32,696
Well, yeah,
I-I guess I'm well off.
400
00:19:32,736 --> 00:19:34,802
We're rich, Lyle.
401
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:40,264
Hi, I'm Vinnie Barbarino.
402
00:19:40,348 --> 00:19:42,811
Head Sweathog here.
403
00:19:42,832 --> 00:19:45,334
You probably want
to know more about me?
404
00:19:45,417 --> 00:19:46,917
No.
405
00:19:48,034 --> 00:19:51,292
Mary Francis. Mary Francis,
these are the new Sweathogs.
406
00:19:51,376 --> 00:19:53,599
Yeah, we're the new Sweathogs.
What of it?
407
00:19:53,682 --> 00:19:56,864
Lyle, to these kids being
a Sweathog is a badge of honor.
408
00:19:56,946 --> 00:19:59,590
You know, not everybody
can be a Sweathog.
409
00:19:59,611 --> 00:20:00,712
Hey, man.
That's true, man.
410
00:20:00,712 --> 00:20:03,576
Take my main man,
Mr. Kotter here for example.
411
00:20:03,637 --> 00:20:05,716
Ain't that right, brother?
412
00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:07,478
Man, he was a Sweathog once.
413
00:20:07,561 --> 00:20:10,400
Now, he don't wanna be
no more Sweathog. No more.
414
00:20:10,484 --> 00:20:13,423
Hey, Freddie, come on.
Now that's not true.
415
00:20:13,506 --> 00:20:16,903
Lyle, I was uncomfortable about
you coming here and I told 'em.
416
00:20:16,986 --> 00:20:18,990
I think that's
what they're doing here.
417
00:20:19,073 --> 00:20:21,673
They're my students,
but they're also my friends.
418
00:20:21,756 --> 00:20:24,716
I'm a Sweathog and I guess
I'm always gonna be one.
419
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:25,781
You don't make
a lot of money
420
00:20:25,781 --> 00:20:28,417
but you meet an
interesting class of people.
421
00:20:28,585 --> 00:20:30,887
So, you and Mary Francis
are welcome to stay
422
00:20:30,887 --> 00:20:32,947
but if you don't wanna
be around Sweathog--
423
00:20:33,030 --> 00:20:34,825
Wait a minute, Gabe.
424
00:20:34,908 --> 00:20:36,430
Uh, let me
tell you something.
425
00:20:36,513 --> 00:20:39,198
I know that you never
really liked me very much.
426
00:20:39,198 --> 00:20:40,552
- And--
- Well, that's not true.
427
00:20:40,636 --> 00:20:43,183
No, it is true.
I knew it all along.
428
00:20:43,266 --> 00:20:47,030
But you let me hang around,
and for that I was grateful.
429
00:20:47,030 --> 00:20:49,609
Yeah, why did you wanna
hang around with me?
430
00:20:49,693 --> 00:20:51,648
Envy.
That's it.
431
00:20:51,732 --> 00:20:53,454
I-I'm still
envious of you.
432
00:20:53,537 --> 00:20:55,137
Oh, Ly-Ly.
433
00:20:55,137 --> 00:20:56,812
[laughing]
434
00:20:59,600 --> 00:21:02,802
You're riding around in a
$14,000 car and you envy me?
435
00:21:02,886 --> 00:21:05,308
- That's right.
- Why?
436
00:21:05,574 --> 00:21:09,230
Gabe, you don't know how much
you've got with your students.
437
00:21:09,313 --> 00:21:11,234
I mean,
what do I have?
438
00:21:11,234 --> 00:21:15,108
What I'm saying is,
it's not so nice... being nice.
439
00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:17,638
It's boring being nice.
440
00:21:17,721 --> 00:21:21,482
Gabe, all through school,
I wanted to be a Sweathog.
441
00:21:21,565 --> 00:21:24,807
But dirt never stuck to me.
442
00:21:25,506 --> 00:21:27,648
I was too perfect.
443
00:21:27,732 --> 00:21:29,654
It's lovely
being perfect.
444
00:21:29,674 --> 00:21:31,867
It's boring
being perfect.
445
00:21:31,877 --> 00:21:36,955
It's boring being rich.
I have five boring bedrooms.
446
00:21:37,039 --> 00:21:39,582
Am I included in those
five boring bedrooms?
447
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:44,128
Mary Francis, no one has
a headache for seven years.
448
00:21:52,022 --> 00:21:54,426
Lyle, what are
you saying?
449
00:21:54,509 --> 00:21:57,467
Well, I think that sounds
like Sweathog talk to me.
450
00:21:57,551 --> 00:21:59,734
Yeah?
You really think so?
451
00:21:59,817 --> 00:22:01,259
Well, don't take
my word for it.
452
00:22:01,259 --> 00:22:03,359
Ask the experts.
453
00:22:03,500 --> 00:22:06,415
Well, that was sort of
like a rank, you know?
454
00:22:06,498 --> 00:22:08,517
I think I'd give him
a "A" for effort.
455
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:11,363
And a "C" for
the execution.
456
00:22:13,786 --> 00:22:16,960
Well, he's real white
bread, you know but, uh...
457
00:22:17,043 --> 00:22:18,269
...okay.
458
00:22:18,352 --> 00:22:20,914
Congratulations,
Mr. Flannigan.
459
00:22:23,497 --> 00:22:27,174
Well, I guess that's it.
You're an honorary Sweathog.
460
00:22:27,257 --> 00:22:29,321
Thank you. You made me feel
as rich as you.
461
00:22:29,404 --> 00:22:31,643
Gabe, you are.
You're richer.
462
00:22:31,726 --> 00:22:34,642
And you're not in trouble
with the Internal Revenue.
463
00:22:34,692 --> 00:22:36,410
[laughing]
464
00:22:38,722 --> 00:22:41,616
That was a good one,
Mary Francis.
465
00:22:44,869 --> 00:22:47,051
What?
What was?
466
00:22:47,151 --> 00:22:50,480
The rank.
You just ranked Lyle.
467
00:22:50,576 --> 00:22:53,378
Congratulations,
Mrs. Flannigan.
468
00:22:54,878 --> 00:22:56,640
[both laughing]
469
00:22:57,904 --> 00:23:02,545
How do you feel, Mary Francis?
Now you're a Sweathog too.
470
00:23:02,629 --> 00:23:03,907
Lyle...
471
00:23:03,990 --> 00:23:07,212
...up your nose
with a rubber hose.
472
00:23:10,829 --> 00:23:12,289
Oh.
473
00:23:13,922 --> 00:23:16,665
I just lost my headache.
474
00:23:17,927 --> 00:23:18,970
Hey, alright,
we're all even.
475
00:23:19,053 --> 00:23:22,718
Come on, everybody, there's lot
of food. Let's eat, alright?
476
00:23:24,485 --> 00:23:27,308
♪ Welcome back ♪
477
00:23:27,391 --> 00:23:30,442
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
478
00:23:30,525 --> 00:23:32,374
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
479
00:23:33,483 --> 00:23:35,355
- Little Italian man, right?
- Right.
480
00:23:35,438 --> 00:23:37,222
Wants a barbecue
his whole life.
481
00:23:37,300 --> 00:23:39,320
- A barbecue.
- He likes to cook out, right.
482
00:23:39,403 --> 00:23:40,684
He finally buys a barbecue.
483
00:23:40,684 --> 00:23:42,686
He's so happy,
he's in the backyard.
484
00:23:42,707 --> 00:23:44,796
He's cookin' a couple
of steaks and he's singin'
485
00:23:44,876 --> 00:23:47,117
[singing in a foreign language]
486
00:23:49,155 --> 00:23:51,010
His uncle walks
by and goes
487
00:23:51,093 --> 00:23:54,717
"Hey, listen,
you got a terrific voice.
488
00:23:54,801 --> 00:23:56,797
But your monkey's on fire."
489
00:23:56,880 --> 00:23:59,931
♪ Welcome back ♪
490
00:24:00,014 --> 00:24:03,255
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
491
00:24:04,976 --> 00:24:07,434
[theme music]
492
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,946
♪ Welcome back ♪
493
00:24:15,029 --> 00:24:18,602
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
494
00:24:18,685 --> 00:24:20,822
♪ Welcome back ♪
495
00:24:20,905 --> 00:24:25,566
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
496
00:24:25,649 --> 00:24:29,918
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
497
00:24:30,001 --> 00:24:34,488
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
498
00:24:34,571 --> 00:24:36,533
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
499
00:24:36,616 --> 00:24:38,579
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
500
00:24:38,662 --> 00:24:40,581
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
501
00:24:40,664 --> 00:24:42,844
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
502
00:24:42,927 --> 00:24:46,804
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
503
00:24:46,887 --> 00:24:49,111
♪ Welcome back ♪
504
00:24:49,194 --> 00:24:51,243
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
505
00:24:51,326 --> 00:24:53,332
♪ Welcome back ♪
506
00:24:53,415 --> 00:24:55,421
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
507
00:24:55,504 --> 00:24:57,815
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
508
00:24:57,898 --> 00:24:59,861
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
509
00:24:59,944 --> 00:25:02,037
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
510
00:25:02,120 --> 00:25:04,256
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
511
00:25:04,339 --> 00:25:05,993
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪♪
37391
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