Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,786 --> 00:00:03,353
Oh, you remember
my Uncle Ernie?
2
00:00:03,437 --> 00:00:05,400
- No, I don't.
- It doesn't matter.
3
00:00:05,400 --> 00:00:07,235
He doesn't
remember you either.
4
00:00:09,161 --> 00:00:10,605
Anyway,
he's gettin' married again.
5
00:00:10,688 --> 00:00:13,405
- This is the fourth time.
- The fourth time?
6
00:00:13,489 --> 00:00:15,893
What about
the other three wives?
7
00:00:15,976 --> 00:00:18,746
First one died from eating
poisoned mushrooms.
8
00:00:18,829 --> 00:00:21,962
Second one died from eating
poisoned mushrooms.
9
00:00:22,045 --> 00:00:24,788
- What about the third one?
- Fractured skull.
10
00:00:26,248 --> 00:00:28,492
- A fractured skull?
- Mm-hmm.
11
00:00:28,575 --> 00:00:31,426
She wouldn't eat
the poisoned mushrooms.
12
00:00:31,426 --> 00:00:33,346
[male narrator] "Welcome Back, Kotter"
has been recorded
13
00:00:33,429 --> 00:00:35,470
live on tape
before a studio audience.
14
00:00:35,470 --> 00:00:38,363
[theme song]
15
00:00:43,086 --> 00:00:45,701
♪ Welcome back ♪
16
00:00:45,784 --> 00:00:49,878
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
17
00:00:49,961 --> 00:00:51,881
♪ Welcome back ♪
18
00:00:51,964 --> 00:00:54,145
♪ To that same old place ♪
19
00:00:54,228 --> 00:00:56,799
♪ That you laughed about ♪
20
00:00:56,882 --> 00:00:59,019
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
21
00:00:59,102 --> 00:01:01,152
♪ Since you hung around ♪
22
00:01:01,235 --> 00:01:05,765
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
23
00:01:05,848 --> 00:01:07,902
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
24
00:01:07,902 --> 00:01:09,690
♪ Who'd have thought they'd
lead ya ♪
25
00:01:09,773 --> 00:01:11,605
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
26
00:01:11,688 --> 00:01:13,825
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
27
00:01:13,908 --> 00:01:15,870
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
28
00:01:15,953 --> 00:01:18,003
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
29
00:01:18,086 --> 00:01:20,266
♪ Welcome back ♪
30
00:01:20,349 --> 00:01:22,399
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
31
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,618
♪ Welcome back ♪
32
00:01:24,701 --> 00:01:26,838
♪ Welcome back
welcome back ♪
33
00:01:26,921 --> 00:01:29,771
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
34
00:01:39,471 --> 00:01:42,077
Okay, you got two minutes
to the bell.
35
00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,155
Would you like to know
what'd make me really happy?
36
00:01:44,238 --> 00:01:45,476
- What?
- What?
37
00:01:45,559 --> 00:01:46,947
Would you like to know
what would make me
38
00:01:47,030 --> 00:01:48,214
supremely happy?
39
00:01:48,297 --> 00:01:49,454
- Yes, yes.
- Yeah.
40
00:01:49,537 --> 00:01:52,080
Just once, if I could go
into that room
41
00:01:52,163 --> 00:01:54,586
and see my entire class
sitting there
42
00:01:54,669 --> 00:01:56,333
before the bell rang.
43
00:01:56,353 --> 00:01:57,634
Make another wish.
44
00:01:57,634 --> 00:01:59,695
[laughing]
45
00:01:59,778 --> 00:02:01,982
Look, Mr. Kotter,
we still got two minutes
46
00:02:01,982 --> 00:02:04,245
of private life left,
do you mind?
47
00:02:04,305 --> 00:02:06,512
Just once. Just once.
That's all I'm asking.
48
00:02:06,595 --> 00:02:07,908
[clanking]
49
00:02:07,991 --> 00:02:11,214
She told me, Epstein.
She told me.
50
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:13,416
- Who? What? Who told you what?
- Suzie!
51
00:02:13,499 --> 00:02:14,699
You hit on her at the party.
52
00:02:14,782 --> 00:02:16,696
Tried to make out
with my chick.
53
00:02:16,746 --> 00:02:18,444
Hey, I wouldn't go
near her.
54
00:02:18,508 --> 00:02:20,906
Face it, Ludlow.
The lady's a dog.
55
00:02:20,989 --> 00:02:22,839
[laughing]
56
00:02:24,522 --> 00:02:27,047
You callin'
my Suzie a dog?
57
00:02:27,130 --> 00:02:29,933
Yeah, well, name me another girl
that barks and rolls over.
58
00:02:29,933 --> 00:02:32,912
[howling]
59
00:02:33,740 --> 00:02:35,658
That does it, Epstein,
let's go.
60
00:02:35,741 --> 00:02:38,465
Hey, take it easy, man.
Take it easy.
61
00:02:38,548 --> 00:02:39,750
I'm tryin' to figure out
62
00:02:39,750 --> 00:02:42,469
what your new face
is gonna look like.
63
00:02:42,552 --> 00:02:44,595
Hey, my friend,
a word of warning.
64
00:02:44,678 --> 00:02:47,642
Epstein was voted most likely
to take a life.
65
00:02:48,022 --> 00:02:49,142
Oh, man, shut up.
66
00:02:49,225 --> 00:02:51,750
Yeah, I voted three times.
67
00:02:51,833 --> 00:02:53,264
[laughing]
68
00:02:53,347 --> 00:02:56,291
You comin', cream puff?
69
00:02:56,291 --> 00:02:58,116
[all] O-oh!
70
00:02:58,199 --> 00:03:00,323
Horshack, my bandana, please.
71
00:03:00,323 --> 00:03:01,783
Yes, sir!
72
00:03:03,082 --> 00:03:05,019
[laughing]
73
00:03:06,287 --> 00:03:09,352
I accept your challenge.
Fisticuffs, close range.
74
00:03:09,435 --> 00:03:11,335
[Freddie] Yeah, give 'em room,
give 'em room.
75
00:03:11,418 --> 00:03:14,202
- Let's go.
- Hey, that way.
76
00:03:14,202 --> 00:03:15,605
Have a good time.
77
00:03:15,688 --> 00:03:18,233
[cheering]
78
00:03:19,410 --> 00:03:21,453
We oughta find out
Ludlow's blood type
79
00:03:21,453 --> 00:03:23,987
and start
roundin' up donations.
80
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:25,745
[bell rings]
81
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:30,945
Okay, okay, you people are going
the wrong way. What's goin' on?
82
00:03:31,028 --> 00:03:34,371
Hey, Dr. Epstein is performin'
a nose transplant.
83
00:03:34,429 --> 00:03:36,732
[laughing]
84
00:03:36,815 --> 00:03:39,398
Well, there ain't nothin' like
a brisk morning workout, boys.
85
00:03:39,481 --> 00:03:41,100
Hey, man, where's Epstein?
86
00:03:41,183 --> 00:03:42,518
Alright, get in the class.
87
00:03:42,601 --> 00:03:44,182
- Oh?
- But we gotta find Epstein.
88
00:03:44,265 --> 00:03:45,786
I'll find Epstein.
Go on...
89
00:03:45,787 --> 00:03:48,156
Come on, Horshack,
get in the class.
90
00:03:51,993 --> 00:03:54,493
- Where's Epstein?
- He's back there.
91
00:03:54,576 --> 00:03:56,121
On the floor.
92
00:03:57,018 --> 00:03:58,868
Go to your class.
93
00:04:01,343 --> 00:04:05,286
Epstein, are you okay?
Hey, look at me, man.
94
00:04:07,170 --> 00:04:09,109
So you got
a black eye, huh?
95
00:04:09,192 --> 00:04:12,614
Hey, you didn't look
that terrific to begin with.
96
00:04:12,842 --> 00:04:15,375
Come on. We're gonna be late
for class.
97
00:04:15,458 --> 00:04:18,619
I ain't goin' to class, man.
I ain't never goin' to class.
98
00:04:18,702 --> 00:04:21,124
- Where you goin' then?
- I don't know, uh...
99
00:04:21,124 --> 00:04:23,406
Into the religious life.
100
00:04:25,689 --> 00:04:27,789
Brother Epstein, huh?
101
00:04:28,051 --> 00:04:31,249
See the headlines "Puerto Rican
Jew joins monastery.
102
00:04:32,416 --> 00:04:34,677
Here comes
a fresh Lamonk."
103
00:04:40,354 --> 00:04:42,416
Hey, so you got beat up,
big deal.
104
00:04:42,500 --> 00:04:44,415
I mean I got beat up
plenty of times.
105
00:04:44,463 --> 00:04:46,258
You think no one's
gonna understand?
106
00:04:46,342 --> 00:04:47,782
Yeah, that's what I think.
107
00:04:47,866 --> 00:04:49,694
Hey, Juan, those kids in there.
108
00:04:49,777 --> 00:04:51,344
The Sweathogs,
they're your friends.
109
00:04:51,370 --> 00:04:52,992
Oh, man, nobody
likes a loser, man.
110
00:04:52,992 --> 00:04:54,574
Hey, you know
why you're leavin'
111
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:57,133
'cause you don't have
the guts to stay.
112
00:04:57,216 --> 00:04:58,695
- Who says?
- I say.
113
00:04:58,778 --> 00:05:01,599
Oh, yeah?
Well, who are you to say?
114
00:05:01,682 --> 00:05:06,459
I am the ghost
of Sweathog past.
115
00:05:06,542 --> 00:05:07,404
Aw, man.
116
00:05:07,488 --> 00:05:10,892
Hey, if I am wrong about this,
may a 1000 Mr. Woodmans
117
00:05:10,975 --> 00:05:12,810
move into
my apartment building.
118
00:05:14,479 --> 00:05:17,205
Come on. You go back
and you face your friends.
119
00:05:17,289 --> 00:05:19,093
And then I'll take you
to the nurse.
120
00:05:19,113 --> 00:05:21,555
To get that eye
fixed up.
121
00:05:22,678 --> 00:05:24,116
- Epstein.
- Hey, man, you okay?
122
00:05:24,116 --> 00:05:25,296
- Check it out.
- What happened?
123
00:05:25,378 --> 00:05:26,339
- Whoo!
- Oh!
124
00:05:26,422 --> 00:05:27,471
- Wow!
- See, huh?
125
00:05:27,554 --> 00:05:28,539
They're still your friends.
126
00:05:28,616 --> 00:05:30,177
Of course,
we're still his friends.
127
00:05:30,260 --> 00:05:32,760
Yeah, sure, we sure his friends,
man. We're Sweathogs.
128
00:05:33,928 --> 00:05:36,333
Our hearts go out to losers.
129
00:05:36,817 --> 00:05:41,081
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
Epstein is not a loser.
130
00:05:41,164 --> 00:05:43,993
Hey, Mr. Kotter, I'm only
talkin' about the fight...
131
00:05:44,065 --> 00:05:47,041
...which he did lose.
132
00:05:47,125 --> 00:05:48,587
Hey, but you're my main man.
133
00:05:48,670 --> 00:05:51,233
You could be a big one
at all that other stuff, man.
134
00:05:51,253 --> 00:05:55,091
You know, like, um,
like knitting.
135
00:05:55,174 --> 00:05:58,087
And, um, like, um, ballet.
136
00:05:58,170 --> 00:06:00,340
[laughing]
137
00:06:00,424 --> 00:06:03,688
Look, Epstein,
you're still our friend
138
00:06:03,688 --> 00:06:05,808
and we respect you
for who you are.
139
00:06:05,891 --> 00:06:07,872
A totally beaten man.
140
00:06:07,872 --> 00:06:09,768
[laughing]
141
00:06:09,851 --> 00:06:14,987
You know, I'm truly, grievously
upset with you, Epstein.
142
00:06:15,065 --> 00:06:18,111
How can I expect everybody
to respect me
143
00:06:18,170 --> 00:06:21,916
when my very meanest friend
turns out to be a cream puff?
144
00:06:21,916 --> 00:06:23,376
[all] Whoo!
145
00:06:25,026 --> 00:06:26,499
- Hey--
- You lied, man!
146
00:06:26,582 --> 00:06:29,104
Now that I ain't the toughest
kid, I'm nobody, man.
147
00:06:29,104 --> 00:06:31,928
- I'm nothin', man!
- We were only kiddin'!
148
00:06:32,171 --> 00:06:34,238
[indistinct chatter]
149
00:06:37,607 --> 00:06:38,969
Mrs. Epstein,
do you have any idea
150
00:06:39,052 --> 00:06:41,570
where he might have gone?
151
00:06:41,570 --> 00:06:44,473
Beside the zoo
with the rest of the animals.
152
00:06:46,276 --> 00:06:47,978
Look, I'll tell you what,
if I locate him
153
00:06:47,998 --> 00:06:50,359
I'll let you know
as soon as I hear anything.
154
00:06:50,442 --> 00:06:54,141
Okay. You've been
a great help, Mrs. Epstein.
155
00:06:54,146 --> 00:06:56,850
Thank you very much.
Bye-bye.
156
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,330
It's incredible.
Absolutely incredible.
157
00:06:59,413 --> 00:07:01,416
Her son's been missin'
for three days.
158
00:07:01,416 --> 00:07:03,519
And the only thing she says is,
"Hey, Murray, no wonder
159
00:07:03,519 --> 00:07:06,440
there was an extra sausage
last night."
160
00:07:08,162 --> 00:07:09,804
Well, honey, maybe that's why
bein' a tough guy
161
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:13,304
is so important to him.
Nobody ever shows him any love.
162
00:07:13,387 --> 00:07:16,557
Yeah, well, before I love him,
I gotta find him.
163
00:07:19,333 --> 00:07:22,598
If he only knew how much
everybody wanted him back.
164
00:07:22,681 --> 00:07:24,281
Well, what should I do?
165
00:07:24,364 --> 00:07:27,086
Stand on the steps of the school
and start singing.
166
00:07:27,086 --> 00:07:29,397
♪ Won't you come home on
Epstein ♪
167
00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:32,008
♪ Won't you come home ♪
168
00:07:32,091 --> 00:07:34,184
♪ We mourn a whole night long ♪
169
00:07:34,267 --> 00:07:36,447
Go to school.
170
00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:38,362
♪ We'll do the cookin' Juan ♪
171
00:07:38,445 --> 00:07:40,252
♪ We'll pay the rent ♪
172
00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:42,733
♪ Good mornin' Mrs. Kotter ♪
173
00:07:42,816 --> 00:07:45,187
♪ Wherever you are ♪
174
00:07:52,173 --> 00:07:54,492
♪ Remember that
rainy evenin'... ♪
175
00:07:54,575 --> 00:07:55,375
Get out!
176
00:07:55,458 --> 00:07:57,830
♪ Where you had nothin'
but a fine... ♪
177
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:01,921
[sighs]
178
00:08:04,119 --> 00:08:06,299
♪ I know I'm to blame ♪
179
00:08:06,382 --> 00:08:09,204
♪ Now ain't that a shame ♪
180
00:08:09,287 --> 00:08:11,902
♪ Juan Epstein
won't you please come home ♪
181
00:08:11,985 --> 00:08:13,878
♪ Ta-da-da ♪
182
00:08:16,642 --> 00:08:18,970
[telephone ringing]
183
00:08:22,183 --> 00:08:23,509
Hello?
184
00:08:23,592 --> 00:08:26,007
♪ I really mean it... ♪♪
185
00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:33,807
[telephone rings]
186
00:08:33,890 --> 00:08:36,093
Epstein Central,
Epstein ain't here.
187
00:08:36,113 --> 00:08:37,573
Barbarino speakin'.
188
00:08:38,657 --> 00:08:40,311
Well, if he ain't there
why don't you try that store
189
00:08:40,320 --> 00:08:42,042
on the corner, you know,
with the big sign that says
190
00:08:42,082 --> 00:08:44,122
"We never close."
191
00:08:44,205 --> 00:08:46,125
Oh, it's closed?
192
00:08:46,208 --> 00:08:50,211
Alright, then try
the Staten Island ferry.
193
00:08:50,294 --> 00:08:52,936
No, stupid, it's a boat!
194
00:09:00,281 --> 00:09:02,548
Alright, the rest of you
guys take Manhattan
195
00:09:02,548 --> 00:09:05,226
the Bronx,
and Staten Island too.
196
00:09:05,309 --> 00:09:08,486
♪ And tell me what street
compares with Mott Street ♪
197
00:09:08,521 --> 00:09:10,370
♪ In July ♪♪
198
00:09:11,971 --> 00:09:14,014
Sit down, sit down.
199
00:09:14,097 --> 00:09:15,799
Hey, Barbarino,
what's goin' on in here?
200
00:09:15,799 --> 00:09:19,420
This is a classroom,
not a live command headquarters.
201
00:09:19,503 --> 00:09:22,505
This is our all-out effort
to find our friend Epstein.
202
00:09:22,588 --> 00:09:23,910
You was right,
Mr. Kotter.
203
00:09:23,910 --> 00:09:26,333
It was all our fault,
his runnin' away and all.
204
00:09:26,352 --> 00:09:27,833
But we're gonna make up for it.
205
00:09:27,835 --> 00:09:29,955
Everybody's out lookin'
everywhere.
206
00:09:30,038 --> 00:09:33,762
You wanna help?
Here, be a blue pin.
207
00:09:34,191 --> 00:09:37,444
Forget the blue pin, there's
a red phone on that table.
208
00:09:37,527 --> 00:09:40,824
- What?
- That. That's a red phone.
209
00:09:40,907 --> 00:09:44,690
- Where?
- Right over there.
210
00:09:44,773 --> 00:09:45,789
That?
211
00:09:45,872 --> 00:09:49,076
That... is a red phone
on the table.
212
00:09:49,159 --> 00:09:52,761
Now, where did that
red phone come from?
213
00:09:53,304 --> 00:09:55,445
Oh, we found it.
214
00:09:57,350 --> 00:09:58,810
Lyin' around.
215
00:10:00,371 --> 00:10:03,814
In Mr. Woodman's office.
216
00:10:03,897 --> 00:10:04,742
Oh...
217
00:10:04,824 --> 00:10:07,110
Horshack,
it's good to see you.
218
00:10:07,193 --> 00:10:08,847
What's the story
in Coney Island?
219
00:10:08,929 --> 00:10:11,673
12 potato knishes.
220
00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:16,541
Who told you that you had
to eat 12 knishes?
221
00:10:16,624 --> 00:10:18,084
They did.
222
00:10:19,328 --> 00:10:23,053
The knishes?
They speak to you?
223
00:10:23,136 --> 00:10:26,019
Yes, they said
224
00:10:26,019 --> 00:10:27,479
"'Allo.
225
00:10:29,468 --> 00:10:30,928
'Allo...
226
00:10:32,130 --> 00:10:33,712
"...eat us.
227
00:10:35,456 --> 00:10:40,561
We're fluffy,
we're delicious."
228
00:10:40,644 --> 00:10:43,129
Oh, but they lied.
229
00:10:43,212 --> 00:10:47,055
Arnold, you can't
trust a knish.
230
00:10:47,138 --> 00:10:50,041
I think you better sit down.
You're knished out.
231
00:10:51,814 --> 00:10:54,177
Kotter, what is the meaning
of all this?
232
00:10:54,260 --> 00:10:55,681
Well, for class today,
Mr. Woodman
233
00:10:55,681 --> 00:10:57,843
they're conducting
a Missing Person's Bureau.
234
00:10:57,863 --> 00:11:00,322
They're trying to locate
one Juan Epstein.
235
00:11:00,566 --> 00:11:02,845
Uh, he might've
joined the circus.
236
00:11:02,928 --> 00:11:06,511
May have been an opening
for a half man, half beast.
237
00:11:07,511 --> 00:11:11,559
My red phone!
What's it doin' here?
238
00:11:11,596 --> 00:11:13,056
What?
239
00:11:15,820 --> 00:11:19,019
- That's my red phone, Kotter.
- Where?
240
00:11:20,765 --> 00:11:22,865
- Right there.
- That?
241
00:11:24,815 --> 00:11:27,579
That's my red phone.
Where did it come from?
242
00:11:27,662 --> 00:11:29,762
They found it.
243
00:11:32,510 --> 00:11:33,970
Lyin' around.
244
00:11:35,936 --> 00:11:37,662
In your office.
245
00:11:37,745 --> 00:11:39,138
[telephone rings]
246
00:11:39,221 --> 00:11:41,571
Just a minute, Kotter.
Don't answer that.
247
00:11:41,654 --> 00:11:45,039
No one, under any circumstances,
answers my red phone, except me.
248
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:47,628
Now give it to me.
Hello?
249
00:11:50,799 --> 00:11:52,899
It's for you.
250
00:11:54,946 --> 00:11:56,406
Hello?
251
00:11:56,768 --> 00:11:58,728
Hi, Julie, what...
What?
252
00:11:58,811 --> 00:12:00,590
I'll be right there.
253
00:12:00,673 --> 00:12:02,232
Mr. Woodman,
you gotta take over my class.
254
00:12:02,315 --> 00:12:06,200
Just pretend you're in charge.
I gotta go home.
255
00:12:06,220 --> 00:12:08,420
- Epstein showed up.
- Where?
256
00:12:08,503 --> 00:12:11,164
At my apartment. Right now
he's locked in my bathroom.
257
00:12:11,247 --> 00:12:14,569
I gotta get there before
he drowns my rubber duck.
258
00:12:22,831 --> 00:12:23,631
Juan?
259
00:12:23,714 --> 00:12:25,674
You've been in there
for over an hour.
260
00:12:25,756 --> 00:12:29,629
You must be awfully hot
and thirsty by now.
261
00:12:29,702 --> 00:12:33,684
How would you like
a nice, cold soda?
262
00:12:33,767 --> 00:12:36,379
Sure I would. But I'm a punk.
263
00:12:36,462 --> 00:12:39,306
Punks don't deserve
nice, cold sodas.
264
00:12:39,315 --> 00:12:41,951
What do you got
that's warm and flat?
265
00:12:44,279 --> 00:12:46,402
- Hi, honey.
- Hi.
266
00:12:46,485 --> 00:12:48,501
- Is he still in there?
- Uh-huh.
267
00:12:48,584 --> 00:12:50,046
Juan, Mr. Kotter's here.
268
00:12:50,129 --> 00:12:51,692
I'll be right back
with your flat soda.
269
00:12:51,712 --> 00:12:53,615
Don't go anywhere.
270
00:12:53,698 --> 00:12:55,528
Where would I go?
271
00:12:55,611 --> 00:12:56,880
[knocking]
272
00:12:56,963 --> 00:12:59,863
Epstein, it's me.
Where have you been?
273
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,328
Missing. Actually,
I'm still missin'.
274
00:13:02,410 --> 00:13:05,175
Epstein, you're not missin'.
You're in my bathroom.
275
00:13:05,175 --> 00:13:06,475
And right now,
I wanna take a bath.
276
00:13:06,476 --> 00:13:09,358
Why? It ain't Saturday.
277
00:13:12,152 --> 00:13:15,068
Epstein, come outta there or I'm
gonna break this door down.
278
00:13:15,151 --> 00:13:17,251
No, you won't.
279
00:13:19,491 --> 00:13:22,359
That's what you're supposed to
say in situations like this.
280
00:13:22,442 --> 00:13:23,921
You know what you're
also supposed to say?
281
00:13:23,995 --> 00:13:25,455
What?
282
00:13:25,708 --> 00:13:28,355
Now, see here, Leo, myeah
283
00:13:28,438 --> 00:13:30,901
now, come out of there
with your hands up, myeah.
284
00:13:30,984 --> 00:13:35,097
Oh, you dirty rat, you'll
never take me alive, copper.
285
00:13:36,472 --> 00:13:40,476
No. Never, copper.
Never, never.
286
00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:42,361
- Let's not be an Epstein.
- You like that?
287
00:13:42,400 --> 00:13:43,678
- A little higher.
- Higher?
288
00:13:43,761 --> 00:13:46,304
- You'll never take me alive.
- You'll never take me alive.
289
00:13:46,344 --> 00:13:48,526
- Put your thumbs in your pants.
- Got it.
290
00:13:48,546 --> 00:13:50,548
Okay. You know
what I'm gonna do now?
291
00:13:50,548 --> 00:13:52,069
Oh, you know
what I'm gonna do now?
292
00:13:52,070 --> 00:13:53,375
I'm comin' right out
of this bathroom.
293
00:13:53,375 --> 00:13:55,057
I'm comin' right out
of this bathroom.
294
00:13:55,058 --> 00:13:57,938
♪ O-oh I'm a yankee
doodle dandy ♪
295
00:13:57,939 --> 00:14:00,234
♪ I'm a yankee doodle boy ♪
296
00:14:00,234 --> 00:14:02,212
Hey! No way.
297
00:14:04,481 --> 00:14:07,462
- Almost worked, sweetheart.
- Hmm.
298
00:14:09,862 --> 00:14:14,587
Juan, this is Julie. I've got
your flat soda for you.
299
00:14:14,670 --> 00:14:16,520
Pour it under the door.
300
00:14:18,234 --> 00:14:19,876
Juan, the only way
you're gonna get this soda
301
00:14:19,876 --> 00:14:21,574
is to get your tail
outta there.
302
00:14:21,657 --> 00:14:23,336
Look, Mrs. Kotter's out there
303
00:14:23,419 --> 00:14:25,378
and I don't feel like
facin' a woman.
304
00:14:25,441 --> 00:14:28,798
Don't worry, Juan, I'll lock
myself in the bathroom.
305
00:14:28,881 --> 00:14:31,724
Okay, look, you gotta promise me
one thing, Mr. Kotter.
306
00:14:31,807 --> 00:14:35,202
I promise. What did I promise?
307
00:14:35,285 --> 00:14:39,196
- That you don't look at me.
- Okay.
308
00:14:39,202 --> 00:14:41,355
I look at a lamp.
309
00:14:53,069 --> 00:14:55,815
Well, Epstein,
nice to see you again.
310
00:14:55,898 --> 00:14:58,460
You lost a little weight,
haven't you?
311
00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:01,543
Hey, Mr. Kotter, the second rule
after don't look at me
312
00:15:01,626 --> 00:15:03,606
is don't make fun of me.
313
00:15:03,689 --> 00:15:05,692
Epstein, if you didn't want me
to look at you
314
00:15:05,692 --> 00:15:06,934
then why did you come here?
315
00:15:06,954 --> 00:15:08,393
To say goodbye.
316
00:15:08,476 --> 00:15:10,845
I'm runnin' away
to join the circus.
317
00:15:13,320 --> 00:15:14,602
- Don't you--
- Don't look at me!
318
00:15:14,685 --> 00:15:16,405
Look at the lamp.
319
00:15:16,488 --> 00:15:19,169
Don't you know
...that the one thing
320
00:15:19,252 --> 00:15:21,602
you can't run away from
is yourself?
321
00:15:21,656 --> 00:15:23,696
Because no matter
where you go, lamp
322
00:15:23,779 --> 00:15:25,879
you go with you.
323
00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:28,687
So why don't you go
back to school?
324
00:15:28,770 --> 00:15:30,470
I can't.
325
00:15:31,391 --> 00:15:32,593
Epstein, can I please
look at you?
326
00:15:32,676 --> 00:15:35,045
I can't get through
to this lamp.
327
00:15:36,461 --> 00:15:40,986
Okay, but, like, kinda like
have no expression on your face.
328
00:15:48,761 --> 00:15:54,375
Epstein, now tell me
why you can't go back.
329
00:15:56,929 --> 00:16:01,250
'Cause I'm a punk. My friends
were right when they said it.
330
00:16:01,333 --> 00:16:05,735
I'm a punk. A...
A child on the streets.
331
00:16:05,818 --> 00:16:09,542
A fly speck on
the highway of life.
332
00:16:09,625 --> 00:16:12,005
Ain't nobody
cares about me, man.
333
00:16:12,088 --> 00:16:14,131
Okay, then, you tell me
why those kids have been
334
00:16:14,131 --> 00:16:16,531
combing the city
lookin' for you?
335
00:16:16,614 --> 00:16:20,237
- They have not.
- They have.
336
00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:22,480
In their own way, of course.
337
00:16:22,563 --> 00:16:25,781
Hey. They care
about you, Juan.
338
00:16:25,864 --> 00:16:27,983
We all care about you.
339
00:16:28,066 --> 00:16:30,750
Then how come you didn't write?
340
00:16:32,978 --> 00:16:36,810
- Juan, you poor baby.
- Don't look at me!
341
00:16:36,893 --> 00:16:38,917
Look at the lamp.
342
00:16:40,335 --> 00:16:42,378
You know what I see
when I look at you?
343
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:45,203
I see a sensitive, bright,
energetic kid
344
00:16:45,225 --> 00:16:47,528
that has a lot more goin'
for him than muscle.
345
00:16:47,528 --> 00:16:49,511
Oh, you see that? Where?
Where is that guy?
346
00:16:49,571 --> 00:16:51,431
Show me, where?
347
00:16:51,514 --> 00:16:56,269
I'll show you where that guy is.
That guy is in here.
348
00:16:56,352 --> 00:16:58,702
And that guy is in here.
349
00:16:58,785 --> 00:17:01,069
Yeah, well,
how about right here?
350
00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,170
There's nothing in there, Juan.
351
00:17:05,254 --> 00:17:07,232
It's empty. Nothing.
352
00:17:09,516 --> 00:17:14,198
Oh, yeah, but you're going
to meet a tall, dark stranger.
353
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:16,619
[knocking]
354
00:17:16,703 --> 00:17:18,749
Honey, I'm through
lookin' at the lamp
355
00:17:18,765 --> 00:17:21,887
and now,
I'm answerin' the window.
356
00:17:23,549 --> 00:17:24,349
Hi.
357
00:17:24,432 --> 00:17:26,832
I told you over and over
and over again
358
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,656
don't come in
through the window!
359
00:17:28,737 --> 00:17:30,679
There's a door over there,
you see a door?
360
00:17:30,719 --> 00:17:32,547
What do you think
it's used for?
361
00:17:32,561 --> 00:17:34,521
At least
they're makin' progress.
362
00:17:34,604 --> 00:17:36,284
They knocked.
363
00:17:36,718 --> 00:17:38,783
Epstein, how you doin'?
364
00:17:38,867 --> 00:17:41,451
You ready to come back
and wipe out Todd Ludlow, huh?
365
00:17:41,534 --> 00:17:42,995
Yeah, man, we figured
you rested up enough
366
00:17:43,078 --> 00:17:45,119
to get back a little
Sweathog honor.
367
00:17:45,203 --> 00:17:47,947
Yeah, you could hit him,
and kick him
368
00:17:48,030 --> 00:17:51,878
and knock him down the stairs.
And step on him!
369
00:17:54,822 --> 00:17:56,047
I don't know.
370
00:17:56,130 --> 00:17:59,251
Epstein, what's the matter
with you?
371
00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:02,177
Maybe Epstein has decided
that there's more to being a man
372
00:18:02,177 --> 00:18:04,310
than winning or losing a fight.
373
00:18:04,340 --> 00:18:05,776
That manliness is not measured
374
00:18:05,842 --> 00:18:08,001
by the amount of macho
a guy's got.
375
00:18:08,084 --> 00:18:11,446
Right you are, Mr. Kotter.
376
00:18:13,707 --> 00:18:17,032
I get along
without any macho at all.
377
00:18:17,115 --> 00:18:20,285
Yeah, I'm holdin' it for him
'til he gets older.
378
00:18:21,296 --> 00:18:24,400
Hey, look, a real man's
got to be tough.
379
00:18:24,484 --> 00:18:26,095
No way, Freddie.
380
00:18:26,178 --> 00:18:27,938
Are you sayin'
just 'cause Ludlow took me out
381
00:18:28,021 --> 00:18:29,413
that I'm less than a man?
382
00:18:29,483 --> 00:18:31,944
I mean, uh,
how about what I think
383
00:18:32,027 --> 00:18:33,098
and how I feel?
384
00:18:33,108 --> 00:18:34,488
Hey, man, that's just
a lot of jive words
385
00:18:34,571 --> 00:18:35,810
from Mr. Kotter, man.
386
00:18:35,893 --> 00:18:37,873
Hey, man, look,
you don't know nothin' about
387
00:18:37,955 --> 00:18:39,979
livin' in the streets today,
man, nothin'!
388
00:18:39,999 --> 00:18:41,221
Hey, Freddie,
what makes you think
389
00:18:41,221 --> 00:18:43,922
that today is any different
than yesterday?
390
00:18:44,005 --> 00:18:46,908
Where do you think
I got this nose from?
391
00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:55,880
From a novelty store?
392
00:19:00,442 --> 00:19:03,202
Horshack, this nose has been
all over the place.
393
00:19:03,285 --> 00:19:07,245
One year, it was over here.
One year's in back here.
394
00:19:07,329 --> 00:19:10,335
One year I had to hide it in my
locker to make sure it was safe.
395
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,571
Yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, man, but
as long as we still got to be
396
00:19:12,571 --> 00:19:15,713
livin' here, there's gonna be
times when we got to resort
397
00:19:15,796 --> 00:19:16,696
to fightin', you understand?
398
00:19:16,696 --> 00:19:18,278
No. No, I don't understand.
399
00:19:18,279 --> 00:19:20,200
You don't understand
that you have a choice.
400
00:19:20,282 --> 00:19:22,444
You can use this
and maybe you guys will stay
401
00:19:22,527 --> 00:19:24,310
in this neighborhood
the rest of your lives.
402
00:19:24,388 --> 00:19:26,710
Or you can use what's in here
and what's in here
403
00:19:26,792 --> 00:19:29,074
and you get a shot
at gettin' outta here.
404
00:19:29,157 --> 00:19:31,496
I mean, it's all up to you.
405
00:19:31,580 --> 00:19:33,480
Let, let me translate.
406
00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,243
Everybody make a fist.
407
00:19:35,326 --> 00:19:38,069
- Come on, make a fist.
- Alright.
408
00:19:38,152 --> 00:19:41,253
Okay. Now, open it up.
409
00:19:42,369 --> 00:19:44,565
You see,
there's nothin' in there.
410
00:19:48,054 --> 00:19:49,256
- What?
- Right here.
411
00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:51,722
- There's nothin' there.
- Where?
412
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,387
Why don't you call
your mother, Juan?
413
00:19:56,470 --> 00:19:58,370
She's worried about you.
Go ahead.
414
00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:00,563
- Yeah.
- I'm gonna be over here.
415
00:20:01,878 --> 00:20:03,236
You know somethin', Mrs. Kotter?
416
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,478
What, Juan?
417
00:20:04,561 --> 00:20:06,561
It's not much fun bein' missin'.
418
00:20:06,645 --> 00:20:08,038
I mean, like,
you walk around all day
419
00:20:08,087 --> 00:20:10,628
but you're not really there
you know?
420
00:20:11,618 --> 00:20:16,906
Hello? Pedro?
Yeah, yeah, it's me.
421
00:20:16,989 --> 00:20:20,167
Hey, do me a favor,
put ma on the phone, will ya?
422
00:20:20,250 --> 00:20:21,710
Hello, ma?
423
00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,294
Oh, Erving.
424
00:20:26,138 --> 00:20:30,261
Yeah, hey, Erving,
could you get ma to the phone?
425
00:20:30,344 --> 00:20:32,547
Thanks.
Hello, ma?
426
00:20:33,789 --> 00:20:34,829
Sanchez.
427
00:20:34,912 --> 00:20:39,256
Uh, Sanchez, could you,
could you get ma on the phone?
428
00:20:39,758 --> 00:20:41,218
Hello, ma?
429
00:20:42,465 --> 00:20:44,565
It's me, Juan.
430
00:20:45,570 --> 00:20:47,270
Juan Epstein.
431
00:20:48,934 --> 00:20:50,394
Number six.
432
00:20:51,873 --> 00:20:56,182
Short guy, curly hair.
Anti-social.
433
00:20:56,265 --> 00:20:58,265
Right, right.
434
00:20:58,326 --> 00:21:00,765
Yeah, well,
I'm at the Kotters'.
435
00:21:00,849 --> 00:21:02,916
Yeah, I'm comin' home.
436
00:21:04,854 --> 00:21:06,921
Yeah, okay.
437
00:21:07,896 --> 00:21:09,356
Here.
438
00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:11,503
Hello, Mrs. Epstein?
439
00:21:11,586 --> 00:21:13,786
Yeah, he's fine,
safe and sound.
440
00:21:13,869 --> 00:21:16,153
Okay, I'm gonna send him home.
441
00:21:21,021 --> 00:21:22,821
Okay, I will.
442
00:21:22,904 --> 00:21:25,245
She says, if you were
planning to come home for dinner
443
00:21:25,328 --> 00:21:27,510
that you should eat here.
444
00:21:27,952 --> 00:21:30,280
Your sausage was
already committed.
445
00:21:31,417 --> 00:21:34,158
Why don't you all
come back here for dinner?
446
00:21:34,242 --> 00:21:36,701
[all] Hey, that's a great idea.
447
00:21:44,482 --> 00:21:46,581
You know, Epstein...
448
00:21:47,685 --> 00:21:49,784
...you were right.
449
00:21:58,276 --> 00:22:00,343
There is nothing there.
450
00:22:01,840 --> 00:22:04,340
Hey, man, maybe you don't
got to beat up on the guy
451
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,178
to prove yourself.
452
00:22:06,262 --> 00:22:08,384
That's right,
use your head
453
00:22:08,467 --> 00:22:11,609
and get somebody else
to do it for ya.
454
00:22:15,842 --> 00:22:17,746
Okay, I guess we're all gonna
have supper together
455
00:22:17,746 --> 00:22:19,549
but we gotta go
back to school right now.
456
00:22:19,632 --> 00:22:21,480
So come on, let's go,
we got a lot to learn.
457
00:22:21,562 --> 00:22:23,022
- Alright.
- Okay.
458
00:22:24,596 --> 00:22:26,541
- See ya later, Mrs. Kotter.
- See ya, Mrs. Kotter.
459
00:22:26,624 --> 00:22:28,996
Bye-bye.
Bye.
460
00:22:39,863 --> 00:22:42,366
[theme music]
461
00:22:47,698 --> 00:22:50,269
♪ Welcome back ♪
462
00:22:50,352 --> 00:22:52,985
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
463
00:22:54,402 --> 00:22:55,680
Hey, did I tell you about
my Uncle Bernie
464
00:22:55,763 --> 00:22:57,325
who never took a bath?
465
00:22:57,345 --> 00:22:58,906
- No.
- This is true.
466
00:22:58,926 --> 00:23:00,449
I had an uncle Bernie
he never took a bath.
467
00:23:00,467 --> 00:23:01,665
- Really?
- Yeah.
468
00:23:01,748 --> 00:23:03,869
Now, one time
he's gone away to vacation.
469
00:23:03,890 --> 00:23:05,392
You know, he's got
two friends of his.
470
00:23:05,412 --> 00:23:07,253
One's a guy from India.
One's a guy from Israel.
471
00:23:07,253 --> 00:23:08,488
- Right?
- Mm-hm.
472
00:23:08,571 --> 00:23:10,273
- Their car breaks down.
- Mm-hm.
473
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:11,436
Knocks on this farmer's door.
474
00:23:11,436 --> 00:23:12,915
He says, "Look,
there's three of us here.
475
00:23:12,998 --> 00:23:14,392
We have no place to sleep
for tonight.
476
00:23:14,419 --> 00:23:15,536
Our car broke down."
477
00:23:15,619 --> 00:23:16,839
The farmer says, "Well
478
00:23:16,922 --> 00:23:18,580
two of you can sleep here
but one of you
479
00:23:18,663 --> 00:23:20,742
has to sleep in the barn
'cause we don't have any room."
480
00:23:20,825 --> 00:23:22,226
Which one slept in the barn?
481
00:23:22,226 --> 00:23:23,787
Well, first the guy from India
says, "That's alright
482
00:23:23,787 --> 00:23:26,752
I will sleep in the barn,
no problem."
483
00:23:26,792 --> 00:23:27,813
He goes to sleep in the barn,
about a minute later
484
00:23:27,813 --> 00:23:29,994
there's a knock on the door.
It's the guy from India.
485
00:23:30,077 --> 00:23:31,999
He says, "So sorry,
I cannot sleep in the barn
486
00:23:32,019 --> 00:23:34,203
"there's a cow in the barn
and cow is sacred animal.
487
00:23:34,223 --> 00:23:35,920
Cannot sleep with a cow."
488
00:23:35,945 --> 00:23:37,327
So what happened then?
489
00:23:37,347 --> 00:23:38,827
The guy from Israel says,
"Big deal
490
00:23:38,910 --> 00:23:41,206
so I'll go sleep in the barn."
491
00:23:41,290 --> 00:23:43,254
He goes to the barn and about
a minute later, there's a knock
492
00:23:43,337 --> 00:23:45,056
on the door,
the guy from Israel, he says
493
00:23:45,138 --> 00:23:47,002
"I can't sleep in the barn,
there's a pig in the barn
494
00:23:47,002 --> 00:23:50,439
and it's not kosher,
and I can't sleep with a pig."
495
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:53,244
- So what did your uncle do?
- Oh, my uncle had to.
496
00:23:53,327 --> 00:23:55,198
He said, "Alright I'll sleep
in the barn," so my uncle went
497
00:23:55,269 --> 00:23:57,532
to the barn, and a minute later
there's a knock on the door.
498
00:23:57,571 --> 00:23:59,674
It's the cow and the pig.
499
00:24:02,331 --> 00:24:06,836
♪ Welcome back ♪
500
00:24:14,605 --> 00:24:17,393
♪ Welcome back ♪
501
00:24:17,476 --> 00:24:20,961
♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪
502
00:24:21,044 --> 00:24:23,312
♪ Welcome back ♪
503
00:24:23,396 --> 00:24:28,143
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
504
00:24:28,226 --> 00:24:32,365
♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪
505
00:24:32,448 --> 00:24:37,023
♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪
506
00:24:37,106 --> 00:24:39,154
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
507
00:24:39,237 --> 00:24:40,939
♪ Who'd have thought they'd
lead ya ♪
508
00:24:41,023 --> 00:24:43,115
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
509
00:24:43,198 --> 00:24:45,292
♪ Back here
where we need ya ♪
510
00:24:45,375 --> 00:24:49,339
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪
511
00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:51,557
♪ Welcome back ♪
512
00:24:51,640 --> 00:24:53,691
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
513
00:24:53,774 --> 00:24:55,868
♪ Welcome back ♪
514
00:24:55,951 --> 00:24:58,086
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
515
00:24:58,169 --> 00:25:00,219
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
516
00:25:00,302 --> 00:25:02,394
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪
517
00:25:02,477 --> 00:25:04,615
♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪
518
00:25:04,698 --> 00:25:07,525
♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪♪
38086
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof